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The way I feel for you

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Alec shut off the shower with a sigh of regret. The water pressure in Magnus’ building was a thing of envy, and Alec wasn’t above spending an unreasonable amount of time just soaking under the spray. But he had to be at the Institute in a little while. It was time to stop delaying the inevitable and get dressed.

“Magnus?” Alec called out as he shook out his jeans and shirt in search of his boxers. He was sure he had tossed them in a pile with the rest of his clothes as they made their way to bed the night before. Alec glanced quickly at the lamp on the bedside table as clothing sometimes found their way there after being tossed by a careless hand.

“Yes, darling?” Magnus was the kitchen, where he was busy making coffee for them to enjoy together before Alec had to leave.

“Have you seen my underwear? I can’t find them.”

“No, sorry,” Magnus called out after a long moment, “but if you want, you can borrow a pair of mine. Third drawer from the top.”

Alec narrowed his eyes slightly and opened his mouth, ready to argue, but he snapped it shut again. Judging by the pause before the reply, Alec was pretty damn sure Magnus had vanished his boxers on purpose, just so that Alec had to wear the borrowed pair for the entire day. The warlock wasn’t as sneaky as he sometimes pretended to be.

Alec wasn’t entirely sure, but he was hopeful to find a pair of underwear that wasn’t covered in glitter or sequins or made his eyes bleed because of their bright neon colors.


Deciding that he didn’t have time to argue, Alec made his way to the walk-in closet that was attached to Magnus’ bedroom. The towel he had wrapped around his waist was riding dangerously low on his hips, so Alec hitched it up a little higher as he pulled out the drawer of one of the dressers.

And then he promptly shut it closed again with enough force to rattle the entire thing.

He was prepared to be faced with Magnus’ collection of underwear and lingerie. With skimpy pieces of lace and silk - because sometimes that was how Magnus liked to roll, to wear beautiful and expensive pieces throughout all of his layers, even if no one would see them. Alec expected that he would have to dig through a drawer of panties and boxers in search of the most plain, boring, and dull pair he could find.

He did not expect this.

Cautiously, and so very slowly, Alec pulled the drawer out once more, trying not to blush. Blushing would be ridiculous, and he was not going to do it only because he opened the fourth drawer by accident instead of the third.

The fourth drawer was filled with sex toys.

Neatly laid out on a cushy bed of silk lining the drawer. There were a lot of them. Alec immediately felt a little lost as he surveyed the variety of colors and shapes and sizes. There were some that were anatomically-correct but some toys looked weird as heck, and Alec really wasn’t sure how one could use them. There were small ones and big ones and holy shit, how did you even fit some of them into your body?!

A pair of arms wrapped around his middle from behind, startling him so much he actually yelped and flailed a little, luckily managing to avoid hitting Magnus in the face with his elbow.

“See anything you like?”

Alec wanted to reply, he really wanted to, but all that left his mouth was a pathetic little sound that he hated as soon as it passed his lips. He was not going to revert back into the awkward, painfully shy stage of his life, dammit! He and Magnus had been together for a couple of months and he was over the initial shyness when it came to physical intimacy.

But, on the other hand, while he and Magnus had sex enough times for it to feel natural, Alec had to admit it was all rather… tame. He might have been a virgin at the start, but he wasn’t naive; he had seen porn and browsed the internet and he knew that what they’ve been doing so far was pretty vanilla. Alec knew that Magnus didn’t want to overwhelm him, that he wanted Alec to have time to figure out what he liked. So they had sex and it was great (really, really great), but apart from occasional wrist tying and dominance play, everything was pretty much normal. Not boring - as if sex with Magnus could ever be boring - but nothing adventurous either.

Alec certainly hadn’t thought about bringing toys to their bed, but now it was like a tunnel vision. All he could think of was the fact that Magnus used them before. That they were inside Magnus and that his boyfriend used them to bring himself off. He kept staring at the bright pink vibrator and suddenly all he could see was Magnus, stretched out on the red silk sheets he liked so much, his body a long, taut line. His head thrown back and hair spilling over the silk. His muscles straining as he reached down between his obscenely splayed legs, pushing the slick toy inside of himself and shivering each time it disappeared into him. Those little pleased sighs that Alec adored so much escaping from him, almost against his own will.

Alec closed his eyes and willed himself to stop thinking about the glorious sight that Magnus would make. He had to be in the Institute in fifteen minutes and he didn’t have time to deal with the consequences of indulging in that particular fantasy.

“I’ll tell you what.” Magnus whispered into his ear and Alec bit back a moan when Magnus’ hands slid slowly through the dusting of dark hair on his chest and down his stomach, until one of them reached and cupped his half-hard cock through the towel still wrapped loosely around his hips, “why don’t you pick one or two that catch your eye and when you come back home, I’ll show you how they work, hmm?”

Alec made another whining sound and Magnus chuckled before placing a kiss right in the middle of Alec’s deflect rune and letting him go. Alec made a strategic retreat and left the walk-in closet in search of his clothes.

He was moving quickly because he was going to be late, he was not running away.


Alec turned to look over his shoulder and found Magnus grinning like the cat that caught the canary. The warlock pulled out another drawer, even as his eyes never left Alec’s.

“You forgot the underwear.”



Alec closed the door shut behind him and leaned against it for a moment, closing his eyes. It had been a long, long day and this was the first time in hours that he felt like he could breathe.

Alec toed off his boots and left them by the door. He sighed in resignation and began looking for his boyfriend. He wasn’t in any of the rooms on the first floor, but the front door was left unlocked and the apartment was protected only by wards. That meant he hadn’t left his lair. The only place left was the rooftop terrace, so Alec climbed the short flight of stairs up.

Magnus was lounging on a daybed he must have conjured from somewhere, since Alec had not seen it before. It had been a couple of days since Alec was on the roof last, and Magnus obviously redecorated in the meantime. The daybed, and a couple of armchairs, were placed underneath a large, vine-covered pergola that provided shade during the day. Magnus was busy typing away on his laptop, probably answering emails from his clients. He didn’t look up when Alec entered the terrace, but he waved one hand in greeting, before returning to his typing.

“You’re the worst, you know that?”


Magnus’ tone was more intrigued than anything else. Alec sat next to him and twisted around until he could wedge himself next to Magnus on the daybed, his head pillowed on Magnus’ chest. Magnus said nothing, only wrapped his arm around Alec’s shoulders and shifted a little so that Alec could fit his ridiculously long legs on the bed.

“I was stuck in boring meetings for the entire day and I couldn’t think about anything other than you.”

“I seem to have that effect on people, yes.”

“Magnus, that’s not funny,” Alec turned his head until he could press his forehead against Magnus’ chest and hide a little from view, “I was sitting next to my mother for hours, praying that I wouldn’t have to get up, otherwise I would be forced to come up with a reason why Fey political squabbles give me inconvenient erections.”

Alec’s head bounced a little as Magnus’ chest shook with laughter. The sound made him feel a little more at ease, but he’d had a nagging sense of anxiety since this morning.

“Is something bothering you?” Magnus’ fingers were running through his hair and Alec closed his eyes as he enjoyed the sensation, “I can practically hear you over-thinking.”

“It’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” Magnus said.

Alec hesitated, not sure how to put his feelings in words without sounding like an idiot but, as always, Magnus came to his rescue.

“Is it about what I said this morning?” Magnus asked and waited for Alec’s nod. “Do you not want to do it anymore?”

“No, I do. I really do. It’s just…” Alec played with the button of Magnus’ shirt as he searched for the right words. It felt so foolish to be worrying about this. “I haven’t done this before.”

“I’m aware.”

“You told me to pick something from the drawer and I don’t think I can.” Alec swallowed and kept his gaze focused on the button he was playing with, glad that he didn’t have to look Magnus in the eyes. The whole conversation was uncomfortable enough. “I told you it’s stupid.”

Suddenly there were fingers grasping his chin and making him look up. This was the last thing Alec needed. He didn’t want Magnus to see him like this, unsure and hesitant and probably red-faced with embarrassment at his own inability to make a decision. He closed his eyes to avoid looking at Magnus.

“Hey.” Magnus’ voice was quiet and soothing, and he clearly wasn’t going to let it go so, with a sigh of resignation, Alec slowly opened his eyes again.

“It’s not stupid,” Magnus said, running his thumb lightly over Alec’s browbone. “You sure you still want to try it? We don’t have to do this today, or tomorrow. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you have no choice here.”

“You didn’t,” Alec protested. “And I do. Want to try it, I mean.”

“Would it help if I’m the one who picks something for us to use?”

“I--” Alec hesitated. “Yeah, it would, actually. I think it’s clear that I have no idea what I am doing.”

“And that’s okay,” Magnus said as he shifted so that their positions were reversed. Alec was lying fully on his back with Magnus nestled against his side. The warlock rubbed his hand lightly over Alec’s sternum, as if he was trying to feel the rapid beat of his heart. “Sex has a learning curve, like everything else. You’re allowed to be nervous about new things.”

Magnus leaned in and the kiss they shared was long and sweet and reassuring. They broke apart after a moment and Alec searched his face for something, for some sort of sign that would give him answers for the doubts that still remained in his mind. Magnus was frowning, probably because Alec was staring at him without saying a word.

“Hey, Magnus?” Alec finally asked as he raised a hand to cover Magnus’, still lingering at the center of his chest. “Are you happy?”

Magnus’ eyebrows raised in surprise at the seemingly random question and Alec knew he was going to have to be more specific.

“With us,” he added and then frowned slightly at the way the words seem to stick in his throat. “With our sex life.”

He had to know. He had to know if he was doing something wrong, or if things were just not enough , or--

“You, Alexander Lightwood, are the most impossible person I have ever met.”

Alec just blinked at Magnus in surprise, torn away from his thoughts and thrown back into the present. Magnus was looking at him with a stunned expression and, for a moment, Alec felt more than a little lost.


Magnus shook his head and shifted until he was straddling Alec, the nephilim’s hands wandered over to grab onto Magnus’ thighs automatically.

Magnus made himself comfortable on Alec’s lap. “You think I’m not happy in the bedroom?”

Alec really couldn’t do anything but shrug, which ended up looking awkward since he was still lying down.

Magnus placed his hands on the bed on either sides of Alec’s head, effectively caging him in and forcing him to keep looking at Magnus. “I am perfectly happy with doing what we already do, as long as I have you.” He leaned in to brush a kiss over Alec’s slightly parted lips and then nuzzled against Alec’s cheek affectionately. “I suggested the toys to show you something new… and to get you off so hard you’re going to see stars.


“I want to see you fall apart as I use them on you.” Magnus kissed him again slowly, deeply, until Alec whined softly into the kiss, his hands squeezing Magnus’ hips hard enough to bruise.

“Will you let me do that?” Magnus asked, his voice quiet and husky. It always made Alec shiver, this knowledge that Magnus wanted him so much.

“Yes,” Alec whispered, chasing Magnus’ lips with his own until he could kiss the warlock again. His earlier worries forgotten in the wake of Magnus’ reassurance.

“Then it’s about time we took it to the bedroom, don’t you think?”



Alec struggled to bring his breathing back under control moments after his orgasm hit him. His fingers were clenched on the pillow his head rested on and his grip was strong enough to turn his knuckles white. He groaned as Magnus released his cock from his mouth with a quiet pop and then promptly gave it a long, slow lick from root up to the sensitive head.

“Oh god,” he moaned as he tipped his head back, fighting against the feeling of oversensitivity, “Magnus, enough.”

“Hmm, but we’re just getting started,” Magnus chuckled, even as he placed a brief kiss on the hollow of Alec’s hip and nuzzled gently into the warm skin. Three of his fingers were still deep inside of Alec, not thrusting at the moment but not retreating either. Alec could feel them filling him, keeping him open and ready for more.


“Yes, quite.” Magnus laughed again as his fingers slowly slipped out of Alec, who shuddered at the sensation. Magnus scooted on the bed until he could lounge beside Alec, who was doing his best impersonation of a starfish with the way he was sprawled on their bed. He stroked an open palm slowly up and down Alec’s stomach and chest, enjoying the way the muscles quivered underneath his light touch whenever he hit a ticklish spot. “Where’s your stele?”

Alec looked at him then, his eyes still half-shut as his body was still coming down from his high.

“In my jacket.” Alec frowned. “Why?”

A quick snap of Magnus’ fingers resulted in him holding the stele, his magic summoning the required item right into his hand.

“Because,” Magnus said, as he lowered the stele to Alec’s right side, “I have a feeling that you are going to need this one.”

Alec watched, curiously, as Magnus ran the stele over the semi-faded stamina rune he still had from two days before. The warlock’s movements were sure and fluid, perfectly refreshing the lines of the already existing mark. Not for the first time, Alec wondered how exactly Magnus came to his proficiency with runes, but the thought left his mind as soon as the rune was finished and a wave of energy ran through his body. It felt like taking a deep breath after a long run, or like a dip in a cool water in the middle of a hot summer day. The tiredness he felt a moment ago was already fading.

Magnus placed the stele on the nightstand and reached into a drawer that they usually kept lube and condoms in. Alec had seen him place something else in it before they stumbled into bed together and he had a pretty good guess at what it was. It would seem that Magnus had made his choice already.

The black vibrator was smaller than he had thought it would be. It was more or less anatomically correct, shaped like a real cock and had a wide base. It didn’t have any weird extra parts or bumps and textures, apart from the slight veining that was supposed to imitate the real thing. Alec felt weirdly grateful for the lack of bizarre additions, though the fact that they were missing immediately made him suspicious.

“Did you pick the least intimidating toy from your collection?” Alec asked, his eyes narrowing a little as he looked at the fake cock as if it personally insulted him. “Afraid to offend my delicate sensibilities?”

Magnus laughed even as he dropped the vibrator on the bed between them and leaned over Alec once more to kiss him. He placed a series of small, nipping kisses over Alec’s neck and chest, only to stop and lick at one hard nipple, which made Alec sigh in pleasure. “There’s nothing wrong with starting with the basics.”

“Yeah, but there’s basics and then there’s--”

Whatever Alec was about to say, he never got to finish for the words got stuck in his throat. Magnus had twisted something on the base of the toy and a low hum filled the air, just before something touched Alec’s inner thigh and made him jerk a little.

Magnus bit gently at Alec’s lip. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Alec only hummed in response, before wrapping one arm around Magnus’ shoulders and pulling him in for another kiss. It was slow and easy, his mind not really in it as he tried to focus on the new experience. Magnus kept running the toy leisurely over his inner thigh, and the vibrations were nice, sending a gentle tingle through his body. The sound wasn’t too loud or too distracting and soon enough Alec relaxed into Magnus’ kisses, getting used to the sensation.

Of course, that’s when Magnus decided to switch things up.

Alec broke away from the kiss with a loud groan as Magnus brushed the toy over his balls and up until it aligned with his half-hard cock. His erection had been slowly returning as they kissed and touched but now, with additional encouragement, he was fully hard in a matter of moments.

“Fuck!” Alec hissed as he squeezed his eyes shut, shivering helplessly. He still had a death grip on Magnus’ shoulders, which the warlock didn’t seem to mind at all. Alec’s other hand was clawing at the sheets, trying to find something to cling to, to keep himself grounded.

“That’s only the lowest setting. I wish you could see how magnificent you look,” Magnus said as he pressed the vibrator more firmly to the head of Alec’s cock and Alec made a muffled, choking sound in response. “I can’t wait to see how much you’ll enjoy having it inside of you.”

“Oh god, Magnus,” Alec gasped, “don’t tease.”

“But teasing is the best part.” Magnus chuckled but he switched the vibrator off regardless, giving Alec a momentary break. Alec watched with half-closed eyes as Magnus tore open the wrapper of a condom and pulled it onto the toy with practiced ease.

“Ready?” Magnus waited for Alec’s quick nod before he shimmied down the bed, kneeling between Alec’s spread legs and licked the length of his cock again, earning a sharp inhale. “Tell me if you need to stop.”

Alec could feel the tip of the toy pressing against his entrance, despite Magnus’ best efforts to distract him by taking him in his mouth again. He was still slick and open from before, so he forced himself to relax. One of his hands tangled in Magnus’ hair, just like he knew Magnus liked; not pulling, just resting there, running through the silky strands. Magnus hummed around his cock and it was enough to make him groan and forget about everything else for a moment.

The toy sliding into him slowly felt… strange. Alec could feel the differences from the real thing almost immediately. When it came to length or girth it wasn’t unlike a natural cock, though it felt smaller than Magnus’. It also felt harder, unnaturally so. The vibrator seemed to adjust to the shape of his body, but it could never be mistaken for anything but artificial. Real flesh and skin had a certain give to it that he could not feel right now. He wasn’t sure he liked it, even as Magnus started thrusting the vibrator in and out of him slowly, carefully. He certainly didn’t hate it, not when it stretched and filled him like that, but it didn’t do much for him yet.

“How are you doing, love?” Magnus asked as he momentarily let Alec’s cock slip from his mouth and kissed the hollow of his hip instead. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it just feels… weird.”

“Good weird or bad weird?”

Alec wriggled a little, trying to figure it out.

“It’s not bad,” he said after a moment, sighing again as the toy was pushed into him slowly, “It’s just different.”

“It can feel a little strange at first.” Magnus bit gently at the sensitive skin of Alec’s inner thigh, right over a ticklish spot, making the nephilim chuckle. “I’m going to turn it on now.”

Logically, Alec knew that vibrators had to feel good. The couple of minutes of the toy being pressed against his cock before was proof of that, not to mention the amount of porn featuring various sex toys. When it pressed into him, Alec couldn’t really see what the whole fuss about toys was, since having a real person filling you so intimately was so much better.

But when Magnus twisted the base to activate the vibrator, Alec felt like all the air was suddenly pushed out of his lungs. His body clenched involuntarily around the toy and everything shifted from the ‘weird-but-not-bad’ to the ‘holy-fucking-shit’ end of the spectrum.

“Ah, fuck!” Alec moaned as he arched his back and was immediately torn between regret and elation, since the change of angle only served to push the vibrator deeper inside of him.

“That’s it,” Magnus said as he placed his free hand under one of Alec’s knees and tilted his leg up and to the side, making his lover keen, “now you’re feeling it. God, you look gorgeous.”

“Magnus, I--” Alec didn’t get to finish and only groaned instead, feeling the toy slide in and out of him in a slow, steady pace that Magnus dictated. It was buzzing inside of him relentlessly, sending wave after wave of syrupy-sweet pleasure through his nerves. It no longer felt too hard or alien, not when the firm head was rubbing against his prostate, making him pant and moan and whimper. He didn’t know what to do with his hands. He wanted to hold onto Magnus but couldn’t reach him. He wanted to stroke himself, but he was pretty sure that any additional stimulation would just overwhelm him.

“You’re doing so well, love.” Magnus reached for one of Alec’s wandering hands and placed it so that Alec was holding onto his own leg, freeing Magnus from the task. “Come on, give me your other hand.”

Not sure what Magnus was planning, but far beyond caring at that point, Alec let Magnus grab his hand. He was reaching down between his own legs and oh, he was grabbing onto the flared base of the vibrator. The angle was weird, and his body was straining as he twisted himself into position, but it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered because he was gripping the toy now. He could feel the vibrations in his hand and in his body and, as he gave it a tentative push, he saw stars.

The buzzing kicked up a notch when Magnus switched the toy to a higher setting. There were sounds escaping from Alec’s mouth, sounds he didn’t even realize he was capable of making. At first, Magnus was helping him move, his hand directing Alec’s, but after a moment he sat back to watch Alec as he thrust the toy inside of himself. Magnus was stroking his thighs, talking to him quietly and offering encouragement. Alec barely heard a word, too lost in the pleasure that tempted to drown him. Each time the vibrator moved inside of him, each time it stroked over his prostate, it all felt like an electric current zapping down his spine. It was too much and not enough at the same time and his cock was leaking like crazy, the precome pooling on his stomach.

One last thrust was enough. One final push against his sweet spot and Alec was arching his back, the toy seated deep inside of him and working mercilessly. His orgasm hit him like a sledgehammer and he came with a shout, thick ropes of come splattering on his stomach and chest. He let go of the toy, let go of the pressure that pushed him over the edge, but Magnus didn’t let it slip out of his body.

“Magnus,” he gasped, tossing his head to the side and hiding his face in the pillow. His body was still quivering, still experiencing the aftershocks of the pleasure that crested over him like a wave, but the vibrator was still in him, like the sweetest torture. “Too much...”

Magnus didn’t take it out though, instead choosing to switch it to the lowest setting again. He kept it angled away from his prostate and didn’t move it at all, just kept up with the gentle buzz inside of him. It helped, just a little.

“That’s two,” Magnus said as he leaned over to lick at the come splattered on Alec’s chest. “Do you think you can give me another?”

“I don’t know,” Alec whispered, too afraid to open his eyes since the sight of Magnus licking him clean would probably be his undoing. He felt weak, worn out, as if his muscles were paralyzed under the overwhelming pleasure.

“Don’t you want to be good for me?”

Alec only groaned in response. He wanted to be good. God, he wanted it so badly. To hear Magnus saying those sweet things to him, to have him touch with those gentle but commanding touches. To make Magnus happy with him. He would give everything to make Magnus happy.

Magnus chuckled as he leaned over Alec’s body to kiss him slowly, lovingly. “I think you can go again.”



Their kisses were slow and deep and intimate, just the kind that Alec loved the most. He could just let go. Let Magnus take control of the kiss, to stroke his tongue along Alec’s, to nibble at his lower lip. The toy was still turned on inside of him, but it didn’t consume his entire attention now, just fanned the flame slowly burning in him once more. He had far more important things to focus on, like kissing Magnus until they were both breathless.

“Come on, turn over.”

Magnus flipped him onto his stomach, not the easiest thing to do when all his limbs felt like wet noodles and the vibrator was still seated deep in his body. Every move sent a jolt of pleasure through him, the places inside of him not stretched before now accommodating to the new angles. Alec bit back a shout when Magnus pulled him up until he was kneeling on the bed and then pushed his shoulders back down.

Alec knew how he must have looked like. His torso and shoulders down on the bed, but his ass up in the air, leaving absolutely nothing to imagination. He had been uncomfortable with this position once, at the very start, but now it was one of his favorites. Magnus’ too, since he could do whatever he wanted with Alec and Alec would just lie there and take it.

Despite the stamina rune and the usually short refractory period for a guy in his twenties, it took a while until Alec grew hard again. Magnus kept rocking the toy inside of him, changing the pace, switching from deep, slow strokes designed to brush against his prostate, into quick and shallow jabs that left Alec whimpering. Alec’s body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and his skin was flushed. His hands were clenched on the pillow he was hiding his face in, muffling the desperate moans that Magnus kept pushing out of him.

“Beautiful,” Magnus whispered, almost reverently as his free hand stroked slowly up and down Alec’s arched back. Alec whimpered, his voice somewhat muted by the pillow, “please, Magnus. Please…”

Alec’s cock was full and heavy, hanging between his spread thighs, entirely neglected up until that point. The nephilim couldn’t see, not with his face hidden from view like that, but he could feel  the moment Magnus wrapped his free hand around it. A tight grip, slick with fresh lube, squeezing him and stroking and rubbing exactly like he wanted it to. The vibrator inside of him was angled directly over his sweet spot, not moving anymore, just pressing down and Alec felt himself shaking. He lost track of everything that was happening. Nothing else existed but the sweet, unrelenting buzz echoing through his body and the rush of fire in his veins. He came with another yell, shooting weakly into the circle of Magnus’ fist, already spent from the earlier orgasms.



He must have blacked out for a moment or two because when he came to his senses, he was no longer kneeling on the bed but was stretched out on his belly instead. He ached all over, his muscles sore from staying in one position for too long and from his body clenching and unclenching repeatedly for some time now. Alec blinked, sleepily twisting his body a little to see where Magnus was.

And then he froze.

He thought that Magnus had removed the toy from him after he came, but he could feel something inside of his body. It felt different than the vibrator they’d used. It was thin enough that he didn’t feel it at first when he woke up. Alec reached behind himself but Magnus’ voice startled him before he could feel it.

“Ah, no touching.”

Alec craned his neck to look at the entrance to their bedroom where Magnus had just walked in, in all his naked glory. Alec swallowed, his eyes trailing down. Magnus was still hard, his cock flushed dark, and Alec realized that Magnus had not come yet - not even once while he’d brought Alec off three times already.

“Magnus, what is this?” Alec waved a hand weakly in the general vicinity of his ass, not entirely sure he actually wanted the answer.

“Drink this first,” Magnus said as he crouched next to the bed and showed him an opened bottle of water. Alec tried very hard not to stare at his cock, swinging in time with his steps. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Alec huffed and rolled his eyes a little, but otherwise didn’t protest as Magnus tilted the bottle to his lips so that he could take in a couple of long swallows.

“Mhm,” Magnus hummed and placed the bottle on the bedside table. The next thing Alec knew, he was being kissed again. It was a possessive kiss, almost an aggressive one, the kind that pulled a little whine from the back of Alec’s throat.

“This,” Magnus whispered into Alec’s ear as he rubbed his hand over one of Alec’s asscheeks and brushed against the thing lodged inside of him, making Alec jump a little in surprise, “is just something extra I thought you could try. It’s a prostate massager.”

“Magnus…” Alec’s breathless gasp broke off into a moan as Magnus nudged the end of the new toy again, sending a shiver through him. “I’m not sure… I...”

“I think you can do it.” Magnus nipped gently at Alec’s lower lip, his other hand cupping the back of Alec’s skull, scratching lightly at his scalp in a way he knew always made Alec sigh with pleasure. He was still crouching next to the bed. “We can stop here, if you want. That would be perfectly fine. But I do believe you have one more in you.”

Alec shivered at the sound of Magnus’ voice, so proud and full of tenderness and desire. He had never came more than three times in one night, and even that happened only a handful of times. Was he ready to push on further, to see if he even could go past his limit? He could feel exhaustion settling deep in his bones, even with the stamina rune that surely was almost faded by now. His limbs felt weak and his entire body felt tender. Even his cock felt one touch away from being sore, after he’d spent himself three times already. He was drained, and every part of him felt oversensitive, as if he was balancing on the razor-thin edge between pleasure and pain.

But Magnus was looking at him with warm, affectionate eyes, waiting for his answer. He had always been so patient with Alec, giving him the time he needed to figure out what he wanted. He was never disappointed when Alec didn’t like the things that weren’t meant to be an issue in long-term relationships, like the taste of come or kissing with morning breath.

Magnus was the man who loved him, despite his flaws and awkwardness, and the man whom Alec loved with every part of his being.

He wanted to give him this. He didn’t know if he would be able, but he wanted to try. For Magnus. For the amazing man who was so focused on his pleasure for the entire night that he neglected his own need. Magnus could turn him into a quivering mess so easily and all that Alec wanted to do right then was to be good for him. To give back - to please and to hear Magnus say that he was everything that Magnus wanted.

“Yeah,” Alec eventually whispered, laying his head back at the pillow again, “one more.”

Magnus studied his face for a moment longer. Alec wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking for, but whatever it was he must have found it because he leaned in and placed a kiss near a corner of Alec’s eye.

“One more.”



There was something uniquely beautiful about the way Alec gave up all semblance of control.

It’d happened before. Sometime when they’d tied each other up for fun. Sometime when the world threatened to overwhelm him, and Alec needed Magnus to quiet down the voices in his head - the ones that told him he wasn’t good enough, or strong enough, or worthy of affection.

But this? This was different.

Magnus kissed Alec’s shoulder blade as the younger man writhed on the bed next to him. He allowed Magnus to have this, to have him, and this time his surrender was absolute. Magnus had not seen him so deep before, so lost in his pleasure.

Magnus was worried for a moment that Alec didn’t really want this, that he was just humoring him because he thought that was what Magnus expected of him. But that wasn’t true. Alec looked like a mess. He had wild bed hair and a flushed face and lips bruised red from kissing. But his eyes said it all. In his wide-blown pupils, Magnus saw the desperate desire to please. So Magnus laid down on the bed next to his lover and kissed him, reached between Alec’s legs to turn the new toy on.

And now Alec was shaking apart next to him, literally shaking, as he fought back against the drastically different sensations he was going through. Magnus was intimately familiar with the way oversensitivity worked, how you wanted it to stop and continue at the same time. Alec was struggling, trying not to flex his hips and rut against the bed. His cock demanded attention. His body was trying valiantly to harden again despite being utterly spent and, but at the same time, any kind of stimulation was downright painful after coming so many times.

Alec didn’t like pain, especially not in bed, but this was something different. The overstimulation and edging didn’t seem to bother him, so Magnus decided to keep that in mind for the days when Alec turned up at his doorstep again with fingers bleeding from shooting too many arrows. He could try and use this newfound knowledge and direct that need for pain into something that wasn’t so self-destructive.

But that was for much, much later.

“Alexander,” Magnus murmured against Alec’s overheated skin. One of his hands kept stroking the small of Alec’s back and his inner thighs and his ass, making sure the massager didn’t slip out of his body by accident. It was unlikely, since the toy was designed to stay in and keep the vibration directly over the prostate, but he wanted to be sure. “I can’t get enough of you, love. How amazing you look when you give me this. You are so good for me. My beautiful boy. You’re almost there, can you feel it?”

Alec only whined in response, but Magnus didn’t expect anything else. He kept talking, keeping up the steady stream of words, knowing that Alec needed to hear his voice even if he didn’t fully comprehend what Magnus was saying.

When it finally became too much for Alec, his mouth opened in a soundless scream as he arched his back and trembled almost violently through it. His eyes were squeezed shut and every muscle in his body was tense and pulled taunt. One of his hands shot up to slam against the headboard, hard enough to hurt, fingers clawing desperately as if he looked for anything to hold onto.

“Shhh,” Magnus soothed him, grabbing the searching hand and almost winced at the death grip that squeezed his fingers. “Easy, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

The sheets underneath him were mostly dry. Alec did not even get hard before the ecstasy hit him and oh, Magnus knew intimately how strong that kind of orgasm could be. The nephilim kept making those whimpering noises that could only come from overstimulation and Magnus decided it was enough. Alec didn’t even notice the toy being pulled out of him.

Magnus carefully turned Alec onto his side, “let me see you, love.”

Alec’s eyes were glassy and his pupils were wide-blown, but he was tracking Magnus’ movements, thankfully. There were tear tracks on his cheeks and Magnus wiped them down gently, his heart lurching at the way Alec nuzzled into his palm.

“I’m sorry, darling,” Magnus said as he pulled Alec in close and into his embrace. He was sitting with his back against the headboard now with Alec lying half on the bed and half in his lap, Magnus’ arms around Alec’s shoulders. “I think I may have pushed you too hard for your first time. We should have talked about it first.”

“Nah,” Alec murmured into Magnus’ skin, his cheek pressed against the warlock’s chest so he could feel his heartbeat, “‘I liked it.”

His speech was a little slow and the words were somewhat slurred, but the small, content smile on his face was enough proof that he was okay. Magnus smiled down at him, running his hand through the tangled black locks.

“You did so well, Alexander, coming for me so many times. I’m so proud of you.”

As if those words triggered something in Alec’s mind, the younger man squirmed a little and frowned, clearly trying to focus on something.

“What is it?” Magnus prompted.

“You’re still hard.” Alec shifted a little in Magnus’ hold and, before Magnus realized what was going on, he was leaning down to take him into his mouth. Magnus stopped him before that happened.

“You don’t have to do that, love. You were already so good for me.”

It was the wrong response, apparently, as Alec frowned at him.

“Don’t you want me to?”

And God, Magnus wanted it, wanted it so much, but Alec looked seriously out of it and Magnus didn’t want him to push himself any further. He could bet that Alec’s focus was completely shot. He didn’t want to risk Alec choking and ruining his endorphin high, not when he looked blissed out and happy like he was. But that frown persisted, as if Alec was trying to figure out a puzzle of some kind.

“I want to make you come,” Alec whispered slowly, almost hesitantly. “Why can’t I? Was I-- was it not good enough?”

“You were wonderful, darling,” Magnus said as he pulled Alec into a kiss, slow and lazy and probably with way too much tongue, but also oh so satisfying. Alec sighed into his mouth, his eyes fluttering closed as he let Magnus claim his mouth.

Magnus should have known. He should have known that the doubts still remaining in Alec’s mind -- that somehow always lingered -- would surface when he was like this. When he was vulnerable and exposed and too exhausted to fight his own insecurities.

“Here, love,” Magnus murmured into his lover’s ear as he wrapped his fingers around Alec’s own, “give me your hand.”

As far as handjobs went, it was as clumsy and uncoordinated as one could be, but Magnus didn’t care one bit. Alec’s hand was wrapped around him, stroking him and squeezing with just enough pressure that he felt his toes curling up in pleasure as he clutched at Alec. “Oh Alec, Alexander … my love…” Magnus had been close to the edge all night, just from bringing Alec off, so it wasn’t long before he was crying out and spilling into Alec’s hand, which kept moving even through his orgasm.

Later, as they laid on the bed with Alec’s head pillowed on Magnus’ chest and Magnus’ fingers brushing up and down the nephilim’s back, Magnus couldn’t help but to get lost in his thoughts. He tried to imagine universes where he didn’t get to have this. A world where he never met Alec Lightwood on that fateful night at Pandemonium. Or a different reality where Alec never had the courage to change his fate, to reach for the things he wanted in his life and instead ended up miserable, hiding who he was until the day he died. A world where Magnus never got to hold this beautiful nephilim in his arms, this trusting and remarkable young man that forced new life into the parts of his heart that had previously turned into stone. It was both amazing and startling that Magnus could hardly remember how his life looked before Alec walked into it.

“I remember the first time I looked into your eyes and my heart said ‘that’s the one’ ,” Magnus whispered into the dark, fully aware that Alec was already sleeping, if the steady rise and fall of his chest was any indication. “You will forever be my always.”