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That's Cute, Baby

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The day Adam learned that he was pregnant was one of the worst days in all his years in L.A, and that was before the big news.

At the morning, he went to work, late, only to hear that he had been fired for his position as a waiter; not his fault, it was just that the cafe had to downgrade and as the newest addition, it was him that had to go.

It was not that bad, Adam psyched himself. Too bad that the entertainment agency he was listed on had nothing to offer at that moment, either, nothing outside stripper gigs. Adam had even seriously considered them, until he noticed that they were all for private stag parties. In this town, that meant a little prostitution on the side, and Adam hadn't sunk that low, not yet.

At Traider Joe's, he had to leave most of his stuff at the cashiers because his credit card bounced and his last gift card from his mom didn't cover it all. At home, he almost stepped on the rent raise notice waiting on the floor. The raise meant that he would have to move, as he was struggling with the rent as is.

Well, what the hell then. Without calling Brad or Alisan for moral support, like he had originally planned, he capped both of his new purchases: A bottle of the store's cheapest red wine and a pregnancy test. As signs went, the day didn't bode well, but neither would procrastinating. The wine tasted like crap, and the stick turned blue. Well. Shit.

Adam slowly emptied the bottle, glancing every now and then to the garbage can where he had thrown the pregnancy test. Nope, still blue. The test boasted cheerily it's plus sign until Adam stuffed the thing to the bottom of the bin.

What would he do now? He didn't have a health insurance. He couldn't afford to a proper neo natal care, hell, he couldn't afford to buy even food at the moment. Abortion would be free if he would go to a clinic... But he didn't have to decide on it right now, right? Because he was now only in a week... How many? When was the last time that he had even had sex, never mind the kind that could knock him up?

Adam went to search another bottle. Wow, how was it even possible that he hadn't had sex after... Holy shit. Adam sat down, straight on the floor as there weren't chairs near enough. The last time he had had sex at all had been with Kris Allen, the American Idol dude. And even that had been kind of a fluke, a brief romp in Allen's hotel room, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity after an embarrassingly long dry season. And if it meant what it probably meant, Adam Lambert, an L.A. nobody, was expecting Kris Allen's illegitimate baby.


The next morning found Adam still broke, unemployed, due rent, hung over and yep, still pregnant. He brewed himself a huge mug of coffee and nibbled some dry toast, thinking. So now he knew why he had felt so under the weather a while ago, with the flue symptoms, back pains and sudden bouts of fatigue. He rose and picked his mug up only to then notice that he had left over half of his coffee to go cold. Usually he would have drowned the rest of the coffee cold without thinking it twice, but now it felt really unappealing. He poured the sludge to the sink. Huh. Shit if he was going to cut his caffeine habit for this, but it looked like his body was cutting his consumption naturally.

Then, what's next? Brad, or Danielle? A man of attitude or a woman of sense?

He called Brad. He didn't think that he was ready for sense yet.

After inviting Brad (who had to be seriously threatened for him to come before noon) and settling his nerves with two beers (because apparently booze felt still a-okay to his body), Adam just threw it out there. Then he listened, seething, as Brad laughed for five minutes.

"You don't believe me, you fucker!"

"I do, I do!" Thankfully Brad was settling down now, before igniting homicidal urges from Adam's side. "I just... You are that guy. The clichéd knocked up groupie guy!"

"Oh, shut it! So not the point!" Adam hated to be that guy.

"How did you even let him fuck you, anyway? He looks like your dream twink! You never let your twinks fuck you!" Then Brad's eyes got particularly gleam-y "Did you have an oopsie? Didn't get it up and had to give him tail to cover it up?"

"No! And again, so not the point!" Adam had never had to do that. Well, almost never. "We met at a nightclub. Hell if I know what he was doing there, but he was game right away. It just turned out to be that Kris Allen doesn't read gay. He is totally illiterate in reading top and bottom signs. So he let me pick him up and we were already naked on his nice big hotel bed before it came to him that I went with him to fuck himand not other way around."

"Adam!" Brad couldn't hold his laugh.

"He was Kris Allen! Have you seen him? Would you say no to him?" Adam flailed a bit. He completely blamed hormones for that. "He was so tiny and eager, I couldn't let him down! He could have been traumatized and turned back to pussy for life, or something!"

"You let him fuck you because you're such a nice guy! Oh my god!"

"That's pretty much it."

"And of course he fucked up with the condom." Brad sobered up for a moment. "You did use condom, right?"

"Yes. I guess he really fucked that up, then."

Brad opened new bottles. "He really ought to be send back to the gay school."

After a long drink Brad seemed to be more ready for a serious conversation. Adam wasn't so sure if he was.

"So, now the most important question of how the hell it was you that end up knocked up is settled, we get to the next one; You keeping it or terminating it?"

Oh hell. Adam kind of already knew his decision, he just wasn't really ready to say it out loud. "Keeping it, I guess."

Brad slammed his beer on the tabletop. "Really? Have you really thought all that what it means?"

Adam felt a bit insulted. "Yes, really. And I haven't thought about all and everything yet, I just found out yesterday. At this point I'm just pretty sure that I'm not doing the free clinic walk of shame, what ever that turns out to mean."

"Okay, then." Brad looked at him like he was re-estimating him now. Adam thought that being pregnant didn't mean that you got a personality transplant so the ogling was a little un-called for. "The next step: Contact Kris Allen."

"I don't want anything from him! I won't do the celebrity baby daddy thing!"

"Maybe you should. You can't keep on living on ramen noodles and it's looking like your next residence is in my couch. If you don't have a large sum of money that I don't know of, it's either contacting his management or moving back to leech on your mom."

"Um, I haven't told my mom yet. And anyway, I don't think she is making that good of a money, either. Of course she would take me in, but I would rather not. Really, really rather not."

Brad looked almost genuinely sympathetic. "I hate to say it, but that doesn't leave you much choices, honey. And don't you think that Allen has the right to now about the baby?"

"I guess so. Though, I have never heard about a case where a rich celeb would have been happy about baby mamas or dadies coming out of the woodwork to demand child support." How does a person even a contact a celeb in a matter like this? Through his record company? Should he hire a lawyer? "I'm not hiring a lawyer."

"I don't know, maybe you should."


Adam did not get a lawyer. He didn't have the money, and those who took cases for free? Yeah, of course they wouldn't leak the story of Kris Allen's illegitimate baby, of course they wouldn't. Client confidentiality and all. Sure.

Instead, Adam called Allen's management company. After about twenty tries he gave up trying to get a hold of anyone actually important. He also gave up trying to be discreet. "Look," Adam finally said to the 7th assistant from the left, or candy striper of who ever the hell she was. "Let's just say that in my hands, there is an offer of 45 000 dollars from TMZ for a story about Kris Allen banging a male fan pregnant. Are you really, personally ready to bet that I'm bluffing?" Which of course he was. About TMZ, not about being pregnant.

The woman on the other end made a little "eep!" sound and then fell silent. She came back again only when Adam was already wondering if the line had been disconnected. "Um, could you say that again? I'll forward your message and someone will call you."

They didn't call. A day later, the Powers That Be visited personally. Adam opened his door and three persons in power suits invited themselves in.

"You are from Kris Allen's management, right? And how did you know where I live?"

The female suit let got of her scrutiny over Adam's flat to concentrate on him, her expression giving out an impression that she was smelling something unpleasant. What were these corporate suits doing in his home, anyway?

"We are from the management, but we are not here in the capacity of presenting Mr. Allen. And, we did a background check on you."

Of course they did. How very mundane of him to even ask. "Don't you want a blood test, to make sure I'm not lying?"

"Nope. No testing of any kind, paternity or other."

The male suit number one opened his briefcase and drew out a handful of papers. "This-," he indicated the papers, "is a good deal. You'll receive a single payment of five hundred thousand, plus 700 a month until the child turns 18, pending on there being a living child. And I must inform you that Mr. Allen paying you that sum in no condition indicates that he would admit on the alleged paternity of your child. The money is enough for your pregnancy healthcare, and to buy a house and a car. Or buy whatever, we don't care. All you have to do is to keep quiet. You don't contact Mr. Allen, don't alert the media and you don't sue him for paternity. You do any of these and we'll sue you from a breach of contract for a sum that you won't ever be able to pay back."

Despite Adam's ears ringing for just hearing about those sums, those pompous assholes really started piss him off. "And if I won't sign? What then?"

The suit didn't answer but just placed the papers and a gold colored pen on the coffee table. "Just sign these, there are post it-notes to mark where, and you'll get this, right now." The suit hold up a cheque written for, holy shit, five hundred thousand dollars.

"Can I have some time to decide? A week?"

The suit obviously didn't like the idea. Adam felt no pain killing his momentum.

"You'll get four days. After that, the deal is off the table."

The suits left the contract for him to read over. (Though they took the cheque with them, and that nice pen.) Adam considered calling to his dad or Neil to check it for the small print, but in the end, he didn't dare to. Instead he called Brad again.

Brad came a brought a new bottle of wine with him. He also brought a carton of orange juice, "for the baby."

"Thanks, Brad. If you would have brought vodka instead of wine, we could have had screwdrivers." Brad just blew him a kiss and went to check the contract.

Third glass in, Brad was ready to give his opinion. "Don't sign it. You can get much more if you sue him for paternity!"

"I don't want to sue him for anything! I'm rather thinking, if I'll take it, then I couldn't ever tell the kid about his other parent, at least not until he is an adult."

"Yeah? Weren't you a couple days ago all Oh, he must never know?"

"I changed my mind, okay? A person is allowed to do that every now and then." (Adam thought this as a very rational thinking. After all, he had settled for the orange juice.) "And this paper, it would stand for eighteen years. Universe knows what will happen in that time!"

"So, again, don't sign it. Demand paternity. Demand that the dude will meet his kid every once in a blue moon. If you think that it will make you a better parent, by all means."

Brad continued his way to some house party where Adam was probably invited too, and certainly was forgotten the whole thing. Adam had the time to change to his sleep clothes (boxers and a tee; it looked like being pregnant did strange things to one's modesty), when his doorbell chimed. Damn Brad.

Adam yanked the door open. "Did you forget something?"

"Uh, no?" It wasn't Brad. It was Kris Allen, standing at his door.

"Oh, hey, Kris Allen." Seriously, the dude short-circuited Adam's brains.

"Can I come in?" Kris wasn't that sure of the situation, either.

"Uh, sure." Adam gestured him to come in and shuffled to his living room. "You want coffee or something? Orange juice?"

"No, I'm good." That left Adam to just standing there, half dressed, wondering if it would be rude to brew coffee just for himself.

"Is it true? That you are having my baby?" If only Adam would know how to read Kris's face.

"Yes. I... It's yours, yes. I'm sure."

Kris came slowly towards him, eyes shining. He wouldn't hit a pregnant dude, right? Right? Unless he wanted to execute that termination option right now!

Adam had just the time for the panic to raise its head when Kris came to stand just before him and then dropped to his knees. "Can I?"

Adam didn't have the time to respond before Kris's hands were on Adam's torso, hesitantly patting Adam's still quite flat stomach. "Um." Adam didn't know what to say because what the hell was happening?

Kris's hands settled on top of Adam's stomach. He pressed his cheek against the frayed t-shirt. "Hey, baby. This is your daddy. Yes, it is! I can't wait to hear you, and see you and meet you!" Kris's voice had risen to a high register, the one that people used when talking to small dogs and babies. Hi, baby, hi! Daddy loves you!

Okay, this was getting way too freaky. "Okay, just, get up from the floor, and sit down, or, uh." Adam tried to pry Kris's hands off, still gently at this point.

Finally Kris disentangled himself from Adam's middle and sat on the couch. The guy was smiling big and looking sincere. (On the other hand, as far as Adam knew, Kris Allen always looked sincere.)

"You are... Happy about this?"

Now Kris looked sincere and flustered. "The timing could have been better, and I would have liked to know you better first, but about the baby? Yes, I'm happy about the baby." Kris smiled even bigger if that was possible.

"But, but!" Adam stood in front of Kris with all his height. "You offered a five hundred thousand to get rid of me!"

For a second, Kris didn't react, like he wouldn't have understood what Adam said. Then his face turned red.


Was Kris offended by Adam spelling it out loud for him? "Now that I think of it, is that such a high price, really? For buying yourself out of fatherhood?"

Kris had stood up and was now pacing in Adam's tiny living room. "They must have made you the offer without me knowing! I wouldn't have heard a thing if my PA wouldn't have told that there were some strange preparations going on, like crisis management. I'll double her pay."

Kris dug out his phone to write down a note, possibly about the said pay rise for the PA. When time of stress, do something familiar; Adam knew that coping mechanism.

"Wait." Kris stopped typing. "Did you take it? The offer?"

"No, I didn't!" Adam grabbed the contract papers, now looking a little worse of wear. "See? Not signed!" Adam would have torn the pages in half if the gesture wouldn't have looked too dramatic to be taken seriously. "You know what? You can take them with you!"

Kris looked somewhat defeated. That it must look like when one is disappointed of one's management. "But… You are keeping it and you'll let me be the father?"

"Yeah." Adam felt ridiculous saying it aloud. He was going to have a baby! With Kris Allen!

Now the smile was back again. Kris punched a few more letters to his phone, muttering "no, triple her pay." Then he put the phone away and moved his attention back to Adam. In truth, that amount of full interest felt odd.

"I'm so sorry about my management. They shouldn't have approached you behind my back, or made the attempt to buy you off in the first place." Kris took a step forward, all open and nonthreatening.

Adam took a step backwards. "That's okay, you didn't know so not your fault."

"In a way it was, after all, they work for me. But… Why didn't you just call me?"

"It wasn't that easy to contact you."

"No, I understand that it might have been scary but-."

"No, I mean really difficult. I wasn't easy to contact anyone even in your management. Try sometime to get past the reception secretary, she is a beast. It would have been impossible to get your number."



"Adam, I programmed my number into your phone the night we spent together. I dug it out of your jeans pocket, and left it in the middle of my side of the bed. With a rose that I plucked from the vase, from the other end of the suite!"

"Oh." Oh shit. "So I guess I didn't notice it?" And he had thought that the other had been an inconsiderable asshole. Oops. And on that thought… "So for all this time, you thought that I chose not to call you?"


"Well. This is almost embarrassing."

Kris rubbed his face, looking a little tired, a little lost. "Okay, it doesn't matter. It's not that I actually waited for you to call or worried every time when I had to put my cell on mute that you would call just then. Or like it's not like I didn't call to you because I was a moron who didn't got your number because I thought that it was your turn to make a decision to contact me."

Adam didn't catch even half of what Kris said, because it had turned to an incomprehensible mumble at the end. "Um, let's go with that then." Let's not upset further the tiny father-to-be who might actually carry some responsibility.

Then Adam got more urgent things to consider because suddenly he felt the familiar ringing in his ears. "Um, I don't feel so good. I need to sit down." The whole thing was turning even more embarrassing.

Adam took a hasty step towards the nearest kitchen chair and managed to prop himself there before the fuzzy lights appeared on the edges of his vision. He planted his elbows to the table and held his head. Kris was saying something, sounding very alarmed, but Adam couldn't really hear him. He wouldn't faint! Swooning wasn't his thing, and being a bit pregnant shouldn't change that, damnit.

After a short moment Adam felt the ringing in his ears, the black spots and the heat rush recede. He hadn't actually lost his consciousness, thank the universe.

"Adam? Adam? Are you better? Should I call to someone? An ambulance? You want anything?"

Oh. Kris. Right. "I'm okay, I just got a little dizzy. No need to call anyone. And tea would be nice." Give him something to do, let him feel like he is helping.

Adam sat and gathered his wits while Kris banged around in the kitchenette and finally produced an adequate cup of Earl Grey.

"There is quite an amount of caffeine in there, you know."

"Yes, I know." Kris was way too easy to bait.

"So technically, you shouldn't drink that because it's bad for the baby."

Adam took a huge gulp, almost burning his mouth. "So, in practice, see how I don't care?"

Kris looked a bit taken back about that. Oh jeez, the guy had been sure about his impending fatherhood for less than an hour and he had already turned to a pregnancy nazi? A fluffy, concerned pregnancy nazi, but one nonetheless.

"The thing is… The thing is that I want to be a father for the kid, and be open about it. I want the responsibility. And I want to be part of it, all of it. I want be with you the day we hear the baby's heart sounds the first time, and renew my will to include the baby and you too, and shop for stuff, and take care of you also when you feel like crap and your favorite jeans won't fit you anymore."

His D&Gs actually were pretty impossible to pull full way up already, but this wasn't a moment to share that. "You'll rub my swollen feet, too? Go hunt in the middle of the night the last tub of Ben & Jerry's Berry Voluntary?"


"I was joking about the foot rub."

Kris kept his stand. "Well, I wasn't."

Okay, now it was Adam's turn to feel scared, because there was supporting a person through pregnancy and then there was taking over one's life.

"To be honest about it, we don't really know each other yet, but. If I'll give you money for your baby needs, will you take it? Sorry, but I just have to ask."

"For the baby necessaries, yes." Adam didn't felt really good about it now, but that had been the whole reason for contacting Kris in the first place; because Adam didn't have the funds to go through this alone. Emotionally, he would have handled it by himself just fine. Really.

"And for goodness sake, buy yourself some nutritious food! You have like, saltines and beer and nothing else in your kitchen!

That was such a lie. He had the orange juice too, and possibly there were stuffed olives, somewhere. "But you are supposed to eat saltines! They are for not barfing!" (That Adam had bought them from Costco when he hadn't been pregnant yet and then had just forgotten them had nothing to do with this.)

"You are not supposed to have beer!"

"They're just in my fridge! At this point, they are mostly for my friends, I'm not drinking one now!" Adam raised his mug to make a point. "And what the fuck, you couldn't wait for fifteen minutes before you turned all social service on me. You want to buy me groceries, fine, but if you try to police my actions in any way, you are not welcome here anymore."

"You almost fainted!"

Adam didn't bother to comment but only gave Kris a stink-eye.

"Okay, okay." Kris backpedaled quickly when he saw that he was using up his welcome, and fast. "I'm not trying to be condescending here or limit you in any way, I'm just worried. I want to take care of you, that's my job now."

Kris Allen personally seeing that Adam ate healthy from now on? Adam had some doubts over that.

"How about we go together to get some food here, fill the cupboards and we can get some unhealthy stuff too. Like, um, chocolate. It will be fun, I'll drive!"

Adam stood, trying out his after-a-fainting-spell sea legs. Okay, they would try this out, and see where it would go.


A few weeks later, it still looked like Kris had really meant what he said. He went with Adam to his doctor appointments. (Their first visit together was Adam's first visit overall. Kris tried to act supportive when Adam got chewed on for not coming sooner.) They had mall dates where Kris threw his reason out of the window and just bought stuff for Adam. Mostly just food and stuff for the baby, but also vitamins and paternity clothes and toys. Adam drew the line on furniture because he didn't have the room to even storage them in his flat, never mind an actual nursery.

Shopping and baby stuff felt such fun that Adam really didn't stop to think about it. He didn't have a job or any kind of short-term career plan beyond a vague thought of taking a paternity leave of sorts. And why would he share his singing dreams with Kris Allen, the contemporary radio king and concert god, anyway? It would only open a whole new set of issues that he just wasn't ready to talk about.

And Kris? Kris seemed to miraculously find time whenever it suited for Adam to enjoy his company. He even answered his cell almost every time, although Kris was usually the one to call to check on him and the baby. Kris had given him his Personal Assistant's number, but Adam had never had to use it. Kris didn't show up in tabloids and his fan sites continued without rumor leaks. No matter how assholeish some of Kris's PR guys were, they sure knew how to keep things under wraps. For Adam, the status quo was well too easy to presume to keep.

Adam noticed that something was going on immediately when Kris showed up in Adam's doorstep with a take-out lunch. There was nothing suspicious about the lunch, Kris bringing them food to pig out on Adam's sofa was pretty much a pattern now, but the look on Kris's face got Adam immediately suspicious.

Adam waited until they had opened the cartons first because he was hungry, damnit, but after that he went right to the point.

"So, what's with the thing? The thing that makes your face flush and your feet kick?"

"Um-." Kris's "casual" was totally busted. Adam hoped that he would skip the What thing? -shtick.

"And, your hands look pretty shaky. I bet that it's because of the thing."

Kris set his food down. "I reserved us seats on flight to Arkansas. You know, to meet my mom and dad. The whole family, really, they all pretty much live all in there still. I have dozens of cousins that will love you to death, I'll just know it."

Oh boy. Even knowing Kris as little as he actually did, Adam should have seen it coming. Except that he hadn't.

"Conway is a really pretty town. Probably too quiet for your tastes, though, but it's great! There is this restaurant that we just have to visit, and not only because they'll give me free cheese dip for life. And then there is this watering hole, that was like our teenage make out spot, and-."

"Kris. I don't even know you. We aren't dating."

"But..." Kris made the kicked puppy –face. Déjà fucking vu. "You accepted all my gifts. You like to talk with me when I call, and you always tell me how you've been..."

"They were for the baby, and I tell you how I have been because I'm carrying your baby. And you… You want me to meet the parents!"

"Oh." Kris looked like Adam had just slapped him in his face. "Okay. I-. I understand, and can respect that."

"Good. Thank you."

"But you could still come to Arkansas with me. Please come."

"I don't know..."

"Because of the baby, Adam. We might be far from a conventional family, but we are still a family, if not a couple. My mom wants to meet the daddy of my baby, and you need to see the baby's grandma. We can skip the rest, the cousins and restaurants and all that crap."

Kris might have a point. The kid would deserve to know his grandparents, so maybe it would be easier for all if Adam would meet them first, when he was still in one piece. "Um. Okay."

"Really?" Kris's bewildered, happy smile could almost make the trip to Arkansas worth it. Almost.

"Yeah, really." Adam hadn't truly realized that Kris taking his future fatherhood seriously meant also that Adam would be permanently attached to Kris's family as his child's baby daddy. For Kris's mother, he must be like an evil, unwanted daughter-in-law. The thought was rather concerning.

Adam dug into his food. Carbs for the comfort. "So, when was this trip to the nostalgia land was supposed to be, again?"


A week later, the day when they were supposed to fly to Arkansas ("Do they have airports in Arkansas?" "Shut up."), Kris had wanted to pick Adam up hours earlier than what Adam had expected. Adam had managed to wrangle out of Kris only an obscure mention of a surprise as a reason for the early rise, and even that had been after he had accused Kris to be those worrywarts who can't help but go to the airport something like ten hours before their flights leave.

Adam waited on the boardwalk for Kris to arrive, having pulled almost a semi-miracle stuffing all his stuff for a weekend trip to only a single compartment-fitting case. He was really roughing it, because taking only two pairs of boots for the whole trip? That was adventurous. He did pack his products and his makeup bag, because if he would start now to pretend to be all nice, fresh and normal, he could just as well go back to his flat and… throw ashes on himself. Something like that. No matter that his black skinny jeans happened to be from a line of paternity pants, he would stay true to his style.

Kris exited the morning traffic and stopped to pick him up. He didn't react on Adam having his full day-time glam on, which Adam counted as a good sign. On the other hand, Kris looked like he definitely had something on his mind, so maybe he just hadn't noticed.

They drove a good while, somewhere to the hills. Kris was giddy, explaining that they would have to make a small stop before continuing. To where, Adam didn't bother to ask, because grilling Kris when he was this obviously exited about his surprise would be just mean.

They parked the car in front of a nice looking, decent-sized house. It didn't have a car on the driveway, or anything really that would show that the house was lived in.

They exited the car, Adam wary and Kris bouncy. Oh no he hadn't… Except, of course he had. This was the father-to-be Kris fucking Allen, after all.

Kris sprang forward to the front door, probably so Adam wouldn't notice that he opened the door with keys. Adam played along and walked in without demanding to know what the hell Kris had been thinking.


The house was empty. Ready-to-move-in empty. Yeah. Quelle suprese, indeed.

It had four bedrooms, an inviting kitchen and a small backyard. It was airy and lovely and brown, kind of generic in a homely way. The only thing missing was the picket fence. Sure it was nice but nothing that Adam would decide to buy in a million years, if he ever had the kind of money, that is.

"I don't know..."

Kris's eager smile turned to uncertainty. "You don't like it?"

"It's not that I wouldn't like it..." Kris was now biting his lip. "You already bought it, didn't you?"


For a moment Adam felt a bit lost. What the hell was he doing? How the hell was this situation in his life, anyway? "I know that you try to be nice, and you think what's best for the baby, but I don't like the idea that you could just place me to live where ever you think is the best. We already decided that I would take support from you, but no matter how family-oriented the house looks, it makes me feel like a kept boy."

Kris looked chest fallen. "…I thought that you would like it. But we could find something else? With a pool? A child-proofed pool."

Aaand he was back to eager, an eager-to-please eager. Oh hell. "Kris, it's just a house. I can live here, it's really not a problem. You might have noticed that I'm getting evicted in a few weeks, so this is fine. You can sell it after the kid is born."

"But, I bought it for you."


"It would be your house, so if you ever had a fallout with me, you wouldn't have to worry about me kicking you out." So Kris had thought about the kept boy situation.

"That's actually really sweet of you to think that. But…" Adam couldn't believe that he would ever in his life say no to a house. How was this real?

Kris went a little red and rubbed his neck, kicking the ground absently. "So what would you say about us two going house hunting, together?"

"You would… We could do that?" Adam looked at the perfectly nice, sterile little house.

Kris smiled at him, again looking genuinely happy. "Yes, we could do that. Let's do it, right next week."


They arrived to the airport with still enough time to eat lunch and for Adam grow completely bored of waiting. His belly wasn't really even that noticeable size yet, and still it felt uncomfortable to sit in the otherwise nice waiting lounge.

"I've never been in a VIP lounge before. Free coffee and less screaming kids. Must be nice."

"We got business class seats, too."

"What, not the first class? And I'm joking, by the way."

"There aren't first class seats available on this flight. But we must fly over seas, sometime. The first class in French and Thai airlines are the best."

Adam winced as the twinge at his hip got sharper. There was some strange stuff happening at his body at the moment, loosing of the joints or something. It was perfectly normal, the doctor had said, and Adam had totally forgot the whole thing. But that had been before sitting in the car on the way first to the house and then to the airport and now sitting here. That had wakened up his aching hip joints. The flight would be uncomfortable at very least.

"You alright? You want me to get you something? Water?"

Adam eased himself from the bench and stretched his body. "No thanks. I think that I'll walk around a bit. Watch my stuff?" That request would keep Kris stationed to where he was, which suited Adam well.

Adam went to the VIP lounge's complimentary beverage station and got some water. Had he waddled? No, he hadn't, Adam decided. The bad thing was that he suspected that he had shuffled is feet instead, like people in pain and creaky joints did.

He washed down two pain pills, his back turned to Kris. The pills were prescribed by his doctor and perfectly safe, but he just preferred Kris not seeing him taking them. Maybe his quota of Kris's mother hen mode was already full for the day, but Adam just didn't want to deal with Kris's fretting right now.

He sighed when he felt the first wave of relaxation come. Ah, better. He turned to take coffees for him and Kris. Even when it came from a machine, it smelled heavenly. The VIP lounge was a way to travel. And his screaming kid would enjoy the VIP lounge experience, too, if possible.

Kris looked relieved when he returned. Adam hoped that it was because of the coffee he brought with him, and not because Kris would have been following Adam's moves across the hall. Adam settled back to his uncomfortable lounge chair (and hell if he was going to stand up again before the boarding. Unless the bathroom need struck, that was) and tried to come up with something to occupy his mind.

"How many bedrooms do I need, anyway?" With the question Adam had invited Kris to the conversation, and the man sipped his coffee, attentive. Adam used his fingers to count. "One for me, one for the kid, then a study and a quest room… and a room for you, too?"

Kris looked at him. It kind of broke Adam's heart to see Kris like this, so uncertain about his position in his kid's and in Adam's life.

"I mean, there will be a room for you if you only want one, I'm fine with it." Or maybe he was assuming too much. "You do want a room?"

Kris let out the breath Adam noticed he'd been holding. "Yes, a room for me would be very nice, thank you."

"I like to have you around. And when the baby is born, I will without remorse make you carry as much as the baby load as you can take, like, without falling on the ground dead." And Adam couldn't have done the "divorced parents" –house swap with a really small baby, anyway. Small child's memory was short, the baby unable to develop outmost important relationships if the person in the baby's life would change all the time. Adam had had the time to dive into pregnancy forums.

"Of course I will help out. I really want to."

"Good. So you better not be touring on the other side of the world when the kid will be born."

Oh the look on his face! Kris's eyes got vide and he scrambled for his iPhone.

"Um, when was your estimated delivery, again?"

"You got to be kidding me! You act like a fucking father of the year, and you ask me that?

Kris eyes were now panicky wide. "I couldn't pencil the delivery in my official schedule, or anything about you, the info would have leaked! I'm so sorry, I'll try to figure something out!"

"You actually did have some job trip abroad scheduled at the delivery time, did you?"

"Yes. But I'll change it, I swear!" Kris looked ashamed, and very very sorry.

Adam wanted to sigh again. "It didn't come to you that you could have used some code in your markings? An euphemism? Like 'family incident' or something?" He really should dig up the number for Kris's assistant and schedule a meeting with her, as it looked like Kris was unable to keep up with the practical side of things. How the hell had Kris managed to spend that much time with Adam, anyway? What had he cut off from his previous timetables? Adam noticed that he didn't know.

"…I still got a room in your house?"

Adam's heart ached. Hormones, it had to be because of the hormones. "Yes. Of course."

Kris looked so grateful of his words that Adam had to pick up his coffee again to not hug him and bury his face to Kris's neck. Sometimes he just loved how achingly open Kris was, even with all the things that they didn't share.


Adam was pretty much ready to keel over when they finally got out of the plane in Arkansas. His feet felt so swollen that he wondered how he would manage to slide his boots back on once he took them off. Maybe he was cursed to wear Crocs for the rest of his pregnancy. Lime green ones. He would grow out off all his clothes and would have to stay in because nothing would fit but the maxi shirt with FRANKIE SAYS RELAX printed on it.

"You okay? You don't look so good."

Adam forced his shuffling walk to a more relaxed gait. "I'm okay, just tired. You said that your parents would be waiting for us?"

"Yeah. And a word of warning; they might be waiting with welcome signs and balloons and stuff."

Now Adam felt almost faint. "Really? They don't think that it would go against you trying to keep low profile?"

"They don't think things like that. They always forget that me being famous would be something that they would have to take in consideration."

"Okay. Balloons. Anything else you want to warn me about? You haven't given me that good a briefing about them. I'm flying blind here."

Kris smiled absent-mindedly, looking around to find his parents as they had arrived to the arrival area. "Nonsense. They'll love you."

Adam was about to say something not-so-positive about the whole situation, but he never got to it because Kris's parents were suddenly there. Kim Allen didn't have balloons but she had a giant teddy bear with her. With a little green jumper on saying "Welcome Home!!" Oh puke. And then he was hugged by this stout little woman who smelled like real apple pie and a man who looked like Kris, and who was… Crying? Did Adam see a tear in his eye? The whole family had to be nuts.

After the joyous meeting (from Allens' side) and a more formal introduction (for Adam's benefit) they continued to Neil Allen's car. Kris carried the teddy, as Adam had unceremoniously dumped the bear to him right after receiving it.

At the car Adam let Kris handle the talking and got to really look at his kid's grandparents. So this was what the female genes from Kris's side looked like. Not bad, if a baby girl would end up looking like her. Adam had he habit of calling the baby a he but they didn't have a certainty of which it was going to be.

Neil didn't seem that bad, either. A little weepy, but Adam didn't know that many straight southern men, so he didn't have anything to compare to. The white hair was a plus. That he still even had hair was a definite plus.

Their first night at the Allens was just them, and Kris's brother (who again got Adam's alarms ringing about his kid's future hair situation). The evening's entertainment was entirely based on eating; Kris helping his mom to make dinner, the mom in question wanting to share his "secret" dump cake recipe with him (oh for fuck's sake), and eating. Eating eating eating. That maxi shirt scenario was starting to look more and more probable as the hours went by.

Blame the sugar coma, but by the desert, Adam was feeling rather serene. Maybe Kris's mother would exceed Adam's expectations of southern future grandmothers.

"And in what church did you belong to, again?"

Or she wouldn't. "I'm a non-practicing Jew."

Kim Allen's smile froze for a second. Adam didn't want to think that that would have been a sign of contempt, but rather that she had just been surprised. Trust Kris to not tell his parents anything that would have been useful for lessening the first meeting cultural clash.

"Oh. Hm. We'll raise the baby multi cultural, then."

Adam just smiled weakly at that. It didn't sound that bad, really, except maybe the "we" part. Adam didn't voice out that his side of the culture wouldn't be Jewish per se, but rather L.A. Gay.

"And you have to remember to give me your mom's phone number, I'm sure that we'll find plenty to talk about!"

"Yeah, of course." Adam kept his smile on. Yeah, not going to happen. He would rather fall down dead than give the number, because he hadn't actually told his mom yet. Or his dad, for that matter. So, he was a lousy son. What else was new.

The sleeping arrangements at the Casa Allen turned out to be rather tricky. The Imaginary Handbook of Sleeping Arrangements might say that the "let's pretend that you aren't having sex" –rule would stand as long as your Spawn and his Significant Other weren't a) married, or b), already having a baby, but what do you do when the young couple is having a kid but they aren't actually a couple?

Kim had went with the "Let's pretend that you are a couple anyway" –route, not knowing that because of her arrangement, Adam and Kris were sleeping the first time through the night in the same bed. First time for everything, Adam mused, both for the bed situation and for the parents pretending that their kid was having sex when he wasn't.

"Why don't we have sex, again?"

No answer. Adam nudged Kris, but he had already fallen asleep.


The rest of the visit went quickly. Adam couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Kris's parents seemed to genuinely like him, and wanting to welcome him to the family. He couldn't understand why. Wasn't Adam just a handicap to Kris? Why would they be nice to Adam when their grandkid wasn't even born yet? They we even rather relaxed towards the whole thing. They weren't overly protective towards Adam and the kid either (like their son was), of which Adam was grateful. Kim had just asked if he smoked, and after hearing that the answer was no, she had dropped the issue.

Despite the visit being actually quite… nice, Adam felt like he could truly relax only after they were on a flight back to L.A. (Thankfully minus the teddy bear, as they were still traveling only with their carry-ons. Kim had promised to post the bear to them.) Kim Allen had been nice. Neil Allen had been nice. All the fucking nice was a bit overwhelming right now.

"Adam?" Kris looked over him, all concerned and nice.

"I'm just-. I'm a bit tired and my feet are swelling again and I'm sure that I gained five pounds there and what if I'll have to wear Crocs and I haven't told to my mother yet! Your parents know, and they were so great about it, and my mom doesn't know and what if she gets mad about it?"

"No she won't. And even if she would, just a bit, she still loves you and she will get over it."

"You think so?" Adam wiped his eyes. Oh great, now he was looking like a raccoon. Did he have a mirror? Getting up and to an airplane bathroom just to fix his face was out of the question.

"I know so." Trust Kris to say the right things. At least sometimes.


Meeting the grandparents-to-be left Adam quiet for a few days. He was fine with the idea of having a kid; As Adam saw it, anyone with a heart and half a brain could do it. You just fed it and clothed it and did things that were good for it. It was the thought of suddenly having a family of his own that left him unsettled. He had had a rather nice and supportive childhood, and the things were good with his parents and his brother, he liked to think. (And when was he planning to tell them, anyway?) It was just that somehow he had never thought that he'd have his own little family unit, no matter how unconventional one. And it wasn't only about kids, either. He'd never dreamed about a family unit of any kind; him, a guy and a fat cat named Elvis, or him, a guy and their names in a shared mortgage. And now? Now it was him, his kid, and the kid's father. Forever. It took time for the thought to sink in.

Adam was packing his clothes away for the move (to the house they hadn't bought yet) when he heard Kris coming in. He had given Kris a key after his hair appointment had run an hour overtime and he still had found Kris on his door awaiting. Adam pushed himself up from the bed and went to greet him. Maybe he had brought take-out.

He hadn't. "So, guess what happened today?"

Adam guessed from the tone of Kris voice that this wouldn't be funny ha ha, even if Kris tried to be nonchalant about it. "What?"

"Me and my Sony guy listened some demos that were sent for my consideration, and guess who was singing in one of them? You were."

Busted! "Uhm. I've done some session work, recorded demos for songwriters to pitch their work."

"You never told me that you were a singer!"

"Yes I have! Uh, mentioned. In passing."

Kris didn't look very satisfied with his answer. "So I didn't, like, rub it into your face because I didn't want you to think that I was after something. And don't you dare to say that me slipping you a demo wouldn't have stopped you from programming your number in my cell!"

"Which you didn't use!"

Argh! "You knew that I sing!"

"Not professionally!"

"So what did you think my profession was!?"

"Uh." Now it was Kris's turn to get flustered. Kris did it so much better than him.

"A waiter? A wannabe actor? Bohemian artist? What, in a couple of years I'll turn thirty and you thought that for all this time I have been just bumming around? You thought that being your baby daddy would be a career enough for me?"

"No, I-. I guess I just haven't thought about it."

"Maybe you should have. And maybe we should actually tell each other these things and get to know each other."

Adam went to rummage his cupboards for food, since his baby daddy had so thoughtlessly came here without a sacrifice for the god of hungry pregnant beings. And he wouldn't ask what Kris had thought about his singing! No way! At least neither of them had stormed out. Maybe they would learn to argue like regular sensible people someday.


Wow. His own house. Adam still couldn't help but grin like a madman when he wandered again through the house. He loved his house! Well, legally speaking not really his house, but close. At the moment it was in Kris's name, and he would gift it to the kid right after his birth. And as Adam would control the kid's assets as long he was a minor, so. Almost his house.

And what a house it was! Not extensively large, but interesting and quirky. A young architect had designed it for himself before he married and moved to Canada. And yes, it had a small pool and a room for Kris. The nursery was still pretty bare, but that was mostly because Adam didn't believe in nurseries. (Believe, Kris had asked. What was there is to believe?) The kid wouldn't really notice the décor for the first couple of years, and Adam didn't plan to torture his own eyes with neither pastel or primary colors. If he would get his will through, it would be just an all white room and then in a couple of years later a jump straight to the Cars and Dora wall decals or what ever the hell would be in at the time.

Adam picked up his ringing cell phone, cutting a cardboard box labeled "kitchen" open at the same time. Kris had offered to buy him all new fine-as-hell kitchen appliances, but Adam had refused. He liked his mismatching tableware and appliances, all either inherited from his grandma, flea market finds or dollar store quick fixes. His stuff had soul.


"So, he bought you a minivan yet?" Brad. Of course it was Brad.

"No!" Adam made his exclamation with his best duh!voice.

"You better come up with an idea of some other car quick, or someday he will drive one to your driveway."

Adam made a horrified sound. He was only half kidding.

"And he already paid for it! And it's powder blue!"

"Oh no, don't even kid about that!"

Brad changed his tone of voice to more serious. "He'll really do that, you know."

Adam sighed. "I know. I never thought that I would ever say this aloud, but I wish that he would stop buying me stuff. I feel like he's trying to buy my company."

"Maybe he is, but he hasn't realized it himself. He is butting in in your life, or at least he feels like it, and it's easier to show up to hassle you when he has an excuse. And when you are rich, buying things always feels like the easiest excuse."

"He doesn't mean it." And when had Adam started to defend Kris to his friends?

"It's easy to do things like that without meaning it when money isn't an issue. At least he comes with the presents."

"What do you mean?" Of crap. One of his McDonalds' Coke glasses had shattered in the move. That had been the green one, his favorite.

"He could just Fedex the stuff, like, outsource buying the affection of his future child."

"Oh, don't be so mean!"

"One of us has to be! Where is the jaded, cynical Adam that we all love? You are cuckoo over him already!"

Nah. He really wasn't.


Adam and Kris were at Wall-Mart, of all places, when Adam first time witnessed a fan encounter. On hindsight, it was a good place to get caught, since no one spared a glance at him. The situation could have been vastly different in they had been spotted having lunch in one of the upscale restaurants that Kris sometimes enjoyed bringing him.

They were just minding their own business, Adam was trying to decide what kind of toaster he wanted to replace his Old Trustful that had finally come to the end of its service, when they noticed a group of teenagers giggling on the other side of the kitchen appliance section.

"Don't look up now but we have been spotted." Kris murmured to the blender in front of him.

"What? What happens now?" Adam automatically took a step away, both to put more room between him and Kris, and to make a little more distance to the girls.

"Just act normal. Smile. Try not to gather attention."

Adam hunched a little and stuck his hands in his jacket pockets, trying to camouflage his stomach with the position that naturally stretched his jacket away from his middle. Normally Adam wasn't a person to shied away from attention, but now he really really didn't want it. He was pregnant and really just a regular dude who didn't want to end up as a gossip column fodder with his belly.

The girls were just regular fans, thank goodness. But even the regular fans all had cell phones, and they weren't afraid to use them to take pictures, send twitters and call to pretty much everybody they knew, it looked like. Adam managed to slink in the background. He didn't just go and leave Kris to fend the fans off his own, but he was very tempted. Instead he hung back and tried to look like an assistant or something.

Why didn't the girls just leave after getting a picture and an autograph? What did they want from Kris? Couldn't they see that he had his own business to get back to?

By the time they finally drove away, Kris's smile had worn thin. The last fifteen minutes his eyes had worriedly roamed the store, keeping an eye on Adam and looking for a store personnel for help. Finally two store security guards had come to Kris's rescue and they had escorted him and Adam from the store and to their car.

A couple minutes later Kris was back to his cheerful mood, when Adam still felt shaken.

"C'mon, it wasn't so bad. They were only fans and not paparazzi or anything. I'm still a regular guy. I can go out and do regular stuff. I got used to the attention, and you will, too."

"But… They didn't leave after they got what they wanted! We had to leave our cart and leave unpaid because they didn't let us be! …And what do you mean I'll get used to it? Was that normal? And why would I get used to it, I'm not a celebrity."

"Erm… eventually?"

"Eventually get used to it or eventually will become a celebrity?"

"A little bit of both?"

"That," Adam said, wrapping his hands to hug his stomach, "wasn't a good answer."

"Okay, I'm sorry about what happened. I know that it might have come as a bit of a shock, especially at the first time, but Adam, being a musician is my job. I have to gain media attention when I'm selling my albums, and if that comes with an interest towards me on my free time, I'll just have to live with that."

Kris glanced at Adam, now worried again. "Is that going to be an issue? I promise you, I'm not like, Britney famous, and I'm never going to be. I'm more like John Mayer famous. And no one gives a shit about John Mayer."

"No, it's not going to be a deciding factor or anything, but it's that it came so sudden. Maybe I forgot that you are a celebrity. Which is almost funny when you think how we met."

"You went with me to the hotel because I was a celebrity?"

"No, I went with you because you were just my type. Except that my types usually bottom."

Kris blushed. Yup. Still his type.


Adam sipped his virgin daiquiri. Having no mood for dancing and his friends and Kris stuck near the bar, he found himself on his own at their table. It was a rare occasion that he ended as the table flower, usually it was him that kept the eager court around him, but he didn't mind. Being back at the club scene after being away just a few weeks felt oddly taxing for him. Adam blamed his pregnancy for that.

Being sober when everyone else were getting their drinks on was a weird experience. Having no car, he hadn't been the designated driver for years, and it now occurred to Adam that some of his regular club acquaintances he had never even met while not under the influence. He didn't consider himself a party animal or a seriously heavy drinker, but he had to admit that he had been developing a habit.

When Brad had called and practically begged him to join his friends on a night out, Adam had hesitated. He loved his friends, but admittedly limiting himself to daytime visits, lunches and long calls had cut severely his time with them. Shouldn't he be spending more time with them, not less, taking in that he would be tied to the kid in a few months time?

Adam didn't want to end up being a house mouse, so he had agreed to come. Adam didn't want to change, he liked how he had been before this whole pregnancy plus Kris –thing. And still he had changed, if only because the sheer exhaustion from being pregnant.

Adam had invited Kris to come along with him, wanting his friends to meet him. He had worried that his friends wouldn't have given Kris even a chance to get to know them, but his fears were in vain; Kris had suffered the initial teasing like a champ. At the moment he saw Kris at the far end of the bar, chatting away with Danielle.

"A guy like you shouldn't sit alone. Can I sit?"

The man was blond, cute, lithe and a bit younger than him. Adam offered him a pleasant, non-committal smile. "You offering to rescue me? You end up sitting all alone, and then three, two, one, you'll explode?"

The man took it as an invitation and he sat in Adam's table. "More like poof, you disappear. Isn't it all about appearances, here?"

Pretty, cynical and smart. What's not to like?

They were deep in conversation, Adam and the pretty guy (Paul or something, Adam wasn't listening that deep), when suddenly Kris was there.

"There you are honey!"

What? Kris was all smiles. And then he came straight to Adam's personal space and placed his hand on his stomach. That drew all attention to the bump, previously unnoticed because Adam had been sitting.

Kris even made some cooing noises towards the stomach. "When were you due, again?"

The blonde handsome took one look at Adam's stomach and one look at Kris. Then he nodded, made a little mock salute to Adam and there he went, not even bothering to figure out some white lie for why he had to go.

Oh no you didn't! Kris looked flushed, and way too smug for Adam tastes. That mood went down quickly when he saw Adam's face. "I thought that he was bothering you, so I came by and-."

"Just shut it!"

Adam got Brad's attention and motioned that they would be leaving. Brad looked confused but gave Adam a sign that it was okay, Brad would tell the others.

Adam dragged Kris out of the club by hand. Kris had had a one too many and the night was ruined anyway so they might as well leave. Kris had offered to keep it non-alcoholic for the night, but Adam had insisted that Kris shouldn't go dry just for Adam's sake. He had expected Kris to drown a beer or two, and not this stupid confrontation.

Adam halted his brisk walk and turned to Kris just outside of a hearing distance from the club's entrance. Kris opened his mouth to talk but Adam silenced him again.

"Don't try to bullshit me, Kris. I was having fun, I was flirting with a cute guy. I'm pregnant, not dead, Kris!" And didn't he dare to use the puppy dog face again, Adam was getting immune to it. "And putting your hands on my stomach without asking, in a public place, and making a fucking claim on me over some stranger? I… I'm revoking your rights to talk to my stomach for two weeks!"

For a second Kris looked almost devastated. Adam wanted to understand why. Did the talking-to-the-stomach –thing really matter to Kris that much? Or was he just upset because they were fighting?

"Why did you do that, really? And I mean really?"

"I… I guess I was jealous?" That wasn't selling it, Adam hated jealousy.

"Or I… Jealous is a wrong word for it. I don't want you to not talk to any other guy. I wanted to be that guy you smiled to. It hurt that I wasn't."

"Oh." Well. Hearing that… It felt strange. A validation would be a too self-centered word to describe it. He felt… elevated? hearing that from Kris.

"You know it didn't mean anything. And I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know." Kris stood by his side, looking down, hands I his pockets.

"Oh c'mon. Don't be sad!" Adam nudged Kris with his shoulder. "Let's go hunt down a café that sells ice cream at this time of night. Just us two."

So the night out with his friends turned on halfway a night in with Kris. Again. Adam couldn't say if it was a good or a bad development.


They sat side by side on Adam's new couch, eating popcorn and watching YouTube videos from the new flat screen, now jacked to Adam's laptop. Kris had invented a kind of a boys' night for them, probably as to give him a reason to spend the night in Adam's house even when the kid hadn't been born yet. Adam liked them; he got good company free from any social niceties, the kind like providing an actual conversation and seeing your guests out before you zonked yourself.

Now, however, Adam had something else on his mind. He leaned to Kris. Kris leaned back to Adam. Okay, then the next stage. He moved his leg to brush against Kris's for the whole length. Kris froze.

Adam put down the popcorn and hoisted himself to sit on Kris's lap, facing him. He had never thought this as a very toppy position, but counting in how his larger body engulfed the other man… Wow. Learning something new every day and all that shit. Adam ducked his head down to catch Kris's lips for a kiss. They both froze before they got to it, looking into each other's eyes. Kris finally reacted.

"Uhm, what… This is…

"This is me, initiating sex. With a friend." Adam threw Kris a lewd smile for a good measure.

Something flashed in Kris's face, but it was gone too quickly for Adam to catch it. "I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Why not? I'm in the mood, and I can bet you that I can get you in the mood too, in three minutes or less." Adam reached again to kiss Kris, and this time he managed to treat himself with a lovely kiss before Kris pulled back.

"Let's not get ourselves in a situation that we might regret later, Adam." That didn't sound convincingly determined enough for Adam, as Kris was breathless from only one kiss. However Kris managed to wiggle himself from under Adam and off the couch. Adam turned to sit properly and face Kris again.

"C'mon! I want sex! Do you know how long I have gone without having sex with anyone but my own hand? Okay, scratch that, you do know that. But now I'm actually having a hard time reaching my dick. I need sex, and as the one that put me in this state, and disfigured my current body, your responsibility is to provide it to me!"

"But... We aren't dating..."

"Who talked about dating? Not me! I talked about sex. A blowjob from a friend."

Kris just bit his lip, anxious.

"We are friends, are we? We'd had sex before, and you have said again and again that I don't look like an ogre. You can't take that all back!"

"But." Adam didn't get why Kris had an issue about this.

"You rather that I go somewhere else to get my fix? I know some friends that would be willing to help, despite or maybe because of the belly!" Adam wasn't sure if he would do it, but as a threat it seemed to work fine. And he really, desperately wanted to get off, so if Kris would keep clutching his pearls, Adam might as well do it.

"No, no, I'll help you out!"

Gotcha! Adam should have come up with this idea a lot sooner. "Now service me, you gorgeous man!"

Kris came to him, eagerly. With Kris's little ethical problem out of the way, it looked like he would be taking to this new challenge with a great enjoyment.


You don't usually see your friends on tv, so for Adam, seeing Kris visiting some-or-another music show was still a novelty. Kris's management had cranked his publicity duties up because his first single from his new album was coming up, and Adam still caught all his television appearances if he only could.

"Is something special happening in your life at the moment, Kris? There has been reports of you looking rather dreamy." The reporter chick was baiting him, not really expecting anything.

But Kris's face turned really dreamy then. He smiled widely to the reporter. Oh no.

"Don't say it!" Adam yelled to the television.

"Actually... There is. There are pretty happy news. I'm going to be a father."

"Gah!" For a moment Adam wasn't able to even swear properly. Kris had said from the start that he wanted to be open about it, but they had both done a magnificent job of avoiding the issue of going public – this far.

On the television, the reporter made almost the same sound, if higher and a bit professional.

"It was a happy accident, really. It wasn't planned, but I'm really happy bout it. I and the baby's father, we are really good friends."

"OH REALLY? Let's see about that after this!" The little fucker! Warn a guy first!

"You are having a baby with a friend? Your friend is a man? It's a male pregnancy?" The chick on tv was anything but drooling at the news right now. Kris Allen had officially came out in her interview! With a baby! That was an accident! With a fuck buddy or the like!

Adam was sure that at that very soon magazines and photo agencies would be feverishly going through their Kris footage, trying to find a guy friend that turned out in several different pictures. A picture showing any kind of intimacy would be worth a penny, and a picture of Kris with a dude who was pregnant would be straight gold. Pictures along those lines would show up, now that people knew what they were looking at, and in the end Kris and he hadn't been that careful.

Kris continued on television. Yes, it was really exiting. Yes, he thought that his fans would support him, no, he didn't think that he had let them down.

Let them down? Why? And was this broadcasted live? Oh shit, he had to call his mother! Adam scrambled for his phone. The lousy son thing would really kick him on the ass this time if his mom would learn about this from some tabloid.


On that evening Kris came with both take-out and Ben&Jerrys. Adam grabbed the ice cream from Kris's hands and headed to kitchen. He would not settle down for Kris's meager offerings, he was too angry for that! But that didn't stop him from stuffing the dessert to his freezer. No reason for a good thing to go to waste.

The ice cream saved for later, Adam turned to Kris. The man had followed him to the kitchen, obviously knowing that he would get chewed. Adam had had the whole afternoon to fume, and Kris was going to get it.

"Hey, guess what! I hear that you are going to have a bastard child with a groupie! Or was it with some wannabe singer, I forgot which!"


"And hey, how convenient for you to get all this extra publicity just when your record is coming out! Was it all your idea or did the suits help you out with it?"

For that barb, Kris hadn't prepared himself for. "Hey, that's uncalled-."

Adam threw his hands up, frustrated. "I can't believe you! When you fuck things up, you surely do it with a bang! You want to announce that you're having a kid? Let's do it without warning the baby daddy, and let's do it in a live national fucking television!"

"You read your Twitter recently? Visited TMZ?"

"Of course I have! And you are all over it!

"Well, check out the time stamps again. Twitter lighted up before I went live. I got a heads up from my PA just a few minutes before I went on air that TMZ had a story and they were ready to publish. So I had to do it. Now we went public with it voluntarily and no-one could make it a big secret scandal."

That punched the air out of Adam's parade. "Oh fuck this."

Adam went to the freezer to fetch the ice cream back. The situation required the whole pint and straight from the carton.

"I don't even know what this means, really. How big news is this? I'm just worried about my privacy."

Kris leaned to the kitchen table. He looked tired. "Adam, I have been sitting on top of the baby news for months now. I have been giving you privacy. My management wanted to sell us on the cover of People, and make you the sob story of the month."

"Shouldn't we have agreed on, dunno, on a some kind of strategy? You went public with it, and I just sat here and watched! They might have forced your arm with this, but I still felt really fucking dumb hearing about in on tv. Not to mention calling my mother, that wasn't exactly a joy."

"Yes, we should have had a strategy. But we didn't. So what about now? Let's act, not just react." Kris sat down and dug into his bag of Thai takeout. "And you don't mind that we conference call to my PR guy, because the two of us? Let me tell you, we both suck at this."


The next day after the Big Reveal was actually a calm one. Maybe Adam had miscalculated the interest towards them.

The second day he actually left the house. Nope, no miscalculation here. Now that the story was out, someone had tattled because the paparazzis were waiting outside his gate. Kris had snuck out the previous day so they wouldn't get photographed leaving together. As Adam saw it, "Previously unknown pregnant dude walking to his car" was the most boring thing ever. Nevertheless, there they were, snapping away and trying to get a reaction out of him. How much do you get child support!? When are you due!? Did Kris try to make you take an abortion?! Looks like it should be him that's preggers, not you!

The largest media scrutiny lasted only few days, but even that was enough. Adam couldn't just fly under the radar, not if he wanted to leave the house; a six foot plus heavily pregnant guy with jet black hair and eyeliner was a rather striking sight and hard to miss.

He tried to do it like Kris; smile disinterested, don't look at the cameras, and don't react to anything but on a friendly distant manner. He had dreamed of being famous, not even that long time ago, but this wasn't it. Maybe it was because he was pregnant, or because it felt like the interest was undeserved, unfounded and uncontrolled. Whatever it was, at this time this wasn't his thing. Kris had asked if he wanted a bodyguard, but to that he hadn't agreed to; it just felt so unbelievable.

But as these things went, the most dire interest died quickly. They had helped the matter by not taking any offers from magazines and avoiding doing anything buzz worthy in public. (Though Kris had developed a habit of trying to hold Adam's hand in public, which Adam thought was ridiculous since they hadn't done that before they were found out.) After that, it was only the fan interest that stayed.

Adam slammed his laptop closed and threw himself backwards to fully lean on the couch's backrest. "Your fans hate me!"

"No they don't, they love you!"

Adam waved a tired but still flailing hand motion. "They say that I'm a starfucker, and opportunist and a fat whore!"

"You aren't fat, you're pregnant!" Kris seemed to have the gut reaction to that one down. "Okay, so some fans love you and some hate you. And some do both; I haven't tried to figure out how that works. Just, don't Google yourself."

"I show up in Google?"

"Don't do it!" Kris reached to take the laptop from Adam's reach, but he snatched it back.

Two hours later Adam's pushed the computer back again. "The internet says that Kris/Cale is the only true pairing, and any other ship is a lie."

"You have to step away from the net, man. Reading that stuff about yourself, that just isn't healthy. Stress is not good for you."

"I know that it's not that serious, but some of those fans… Damn scary." Adam looked at Kris, who looked both concerned and amused. "You don't have anything going on with Cale, right?"

"No, of course not! It's all fan service, just goofing around on stage."

"Well, good."

"Adam Lambert, are you jealous?" The glee in Kris's voice couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

"No, I'm not! Not jealous for the real you, just… There are thousands of people thinking that I'm a some kind of cosmic mistake in your life. My friends, and my mom might be reading this crap! You can't say that it wouldn't eat a man, even when we know that it isn't true."

"The fans don't matter where it really counts. They don't know us. I'm sorry that you feel bad about this, but I can't be sorry forever, and I can't apologize for being me."

"So what are you asking? For me to not feel like shit when I find cell phone pictures of me at Starbucks, with some really fucking unflattering comments attached, both in your fansite and at Perez? And by the way, your site is currently fighting over on whether or not pictures of me without you are relevant to post."

"I'm not trying to belittle your feelings, Adam, but I can't turn into a hermit and I'm asking that you don't, either."

"So let them just take pictures, then? But what if our kid has like, two heads?"

"Adam!" Kris had trouble keeping straight face to Adam's seemingly serious question. "Okay, if the kid has two heads, then we will escape to the desert so he can grow without being photographed. But until then, we'll just have to deal."

Adam wasn't satisfied with Kris's reaction, but maybe he could learn to ignore what was said. It wasn't like they knew him at all. He sent Kris to fetch him the charger for the laptop. Ignorance must be a bliss when it came to this, but he just had to create an account for lurking around. It wasn't snooping, it was market research.


"I want to take you out for a dinner, as my date."

For a second, Adam didn't understand the question. Kris was proposing... something. When in doubt, repeat. "You want to take me out for a date?"


"But we already spend almost all of our free time together, we shop together and eat together. We have almost a nightly date with my couch. So why would you want to take me to a date date?"

Kris was getting frustrated. Down, boy. "Because I want to, okay? I really like you. I'm your baby daddy and I'm your friend, and I would love to-. I would like to be your boyfriend, too."

"Kris, all the time we have been together-. No I don't mean together together, but like, been in each other's lives, has been under special circumstances. Me being pregnant." Adam saw that Kris opened his mouth to cut in but Adam gestured the other quiet keep quiet and continued. "And I'm sorry to say that one round of drunken sex in a hotel room doesn't count as being together, either."

Kris shut his mouth again, looking stubborn.

"Hands up all who can honestly say that they felt some instant connection then."

They both kept their hands were they were, but Kris still held his stubborn stand. "I did leave my phone number, though. We don't know what would have happened if you would have simply checked your phone then."

"But we don't know if we would have ended up in each other's lives without me being pregnant. You don't know me in any other state. And in a month or so the situation is going to be entirely different again. "

"Does it really matter that we got the order all wrong?" Things might change after the baby is born, you might… find another and I might end up as a weekend dad, but there isn't a reason for to not try. I want to try. There won't be another for me, I know it."

"Kris, I…" Kris looked so afraid, so full of hope. "Give me half an hour to think?"

Kris nodded, not saying a thing, and Adam fleeted to the next room.

Okay now. Had he had sex with, or gone to a date with anyone since Kris? He hadn't. Whoa. Sex, well, the lack of sex had been pretty clear, but why hadn't he even noticed the emotional dry spell? Never before had he gone without a boyfriend for longer than a few months without feeling almost desperate about it. But this time, he had been with Kris, his not-boyfriend. There really hadn't been a dry spell, because of Kris. Whoa again.

Adam hurried (waddled, really) back to Kris, who till stood in the same place where Adam had left him.

"Why didn't anyone tell me that we were already together!"

"Um." Kris looked hopeful.

"That was a rhetorical question. And yes I go to a date with you, and be your boyfriend."

Kris came to him and planted himself against Adam, giving him a full body hug. He had to aim for Adam's side because of Adam's stomach.

"I think I love you." That was mumbled to Adam's neck, but he still had no troubles hearing it right.

"I think that I love you too. Which is a good thing because we are already only a toaster away from being married."


They had the kid, and lived happily ever after. They never got married. They got the new toaster, though. It was Ferrari red.



"Dragon, we have to go now. You don't want us to be late, don't you? Daddy is waiting for us." Kris held the bundle of clothes to his son.

"But I don't want to change!" The little redheaded boy was still in his beloved Spiderman pajamas, his hair sticking out every which way.

Kris sighed. Dragon had been so exited when he had heard about his new little sis, but now, when they were supposed to go meet her in the hospital, he wasn't so keen on the idea anymore.

"Dragon!" Dragon looked back at him, stubborn. Oh, fuck it. It wasn't that serious. Kris could almost hear Adam saying it in his head. If Brad and Angelina could go out with their kids looking like they'd dressed themselves, so could he.

When Kris got Dragon out of the car he noticed the papparazzis outside the hospital. It looked like the price offered for the first picture of the new baby was a record breaking one, at least for when it come to Kris and Adam. Kris hurried Dragon past the paps, talking to him and trying to distract Dragon from reacting to the photographers. Oh well. Pictures of Kris Allen and his son in Spiderman PJs visiting a hospital had to be worth something, then.

"Daddy we heard your song on the radio!" Dragon burst out as a greeting to his father. Kris followed his son to the sunny private room and gave Adam a quick kiss as a hello.

"Really? The short one or the long one?" Adam had done the vocals for a song composed for an airline commercial, and the song had met such a great response that it had been released for radio. This time they had heard the commercial on their way here, so that would be the short one.

Adam never got his answer because Dragon had spotted the baby. Kris's little girl was sleeping in her bedside cot, tucked in under a pink blanket and accompanied by a sparkly unicorn plush toy. Less than a week old, she still looked rather thin and smushed, but the cute was already there to be seen. Dragon watched the baby with wonder. "What's her name?"

Kris looked at Adam. Uh huh. No way. "Again, we are not naming her Unicorn. No. I deserved a veto right from the last time."

Adam just looked back at him, not wavering.

"And don't use that "I birthed her in great pain" –face, it was a cesarean and you slept the whole time!"

"Did you carry her for nine months?"

"The name is for the rest of her life!"

Adam carefully picked the baby to his arms and then slowly sat more upright on his bed, waiting. Dressed in ugly hospital clothes, he looked exhausted and in need of a shower. Kris had never seen anything more beautiful.

Damn. Kris sat on the bed and picked Dragon to his lap. "Dragon, meet your new sister, Unicorn."

Adam's eyes sparkled with joy and amusement. It was almost worth it. "I love you too," Adam mouthed silently at him.

No, Kris corrected himself. It really was worth it.