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Think Of You

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Love at first sight. It’s an expression we hear a million times as we grow up. You see someone across a crowded room or a busy subway and BAM you’re instantly in love. Personally you believe this is utter bullshit. Lust at first sight? Sure, you wholeheartedly believe in it. You're not ashamed to say that you fell in lust with every single member of the RFA the day you joined. But love? No; it’s impossible to love someone without knowing who they are. And you don’t just mean their outside personas that they present to everyone in the world to seem “normal”. Everyone has a mask they wear to hide who they truly are. Even Jumin goes home at night and utters a sigh of relief that he can finally drop that facade of being in complete control. You know; you've had enough late night conversations. He tries to hide it from you, but it slips; it’s not hard to do.

Saeran was different; his mask was one of someone else’s making. It was a mask that he was forced to wear for so long, with no relief that he came to believe it was really him. How many people could go through years of being drugged, tortured and brainwashed and still have any semblance of who they really are? The fact is that Saeran was molded into what he became.

Then there was Saeyoung. Seven oh Seven, God Seven, Defender of Justice, Master Seven, Luciel; the names went on and on. The man it took you eleven days to fall head over heels for. No, it wasn't love at first site; You fell in love with Saeyoung’s mind long before the possibility of meeting him in person even crossed your mind. He made you laugh, he kept you company when you were alone, he went out of his way to make sure you were comfortable even if he couldn’t be there personally to see to your needs. And when you finally saw him, you were already in love with him. Everything about him was precious to you and you fought like hell to make him realize he cared about you too.

In the end, you were together, as it should have been. You did your best to help him drag his brother out of the dark hole that he had been living in for so long. You did what you could to make him happy and healthy. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight. But slowly, day by day, Saeran opened up to you; opened up to Saeyoung anyway. You were the reminder of the evil things he had done. He avoided you when he could and when he couldn’t he did not speak to you. During mealtimes you could see him stealing quick glances your way, sorrow and regret on his face. But you three lived together peacefully. Saeyoung and you planned for the future; for a future filled with the happiness that the twins never had.

But then you did the worst thing you could have ever done; you fell in love with Saeran.