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An Understanding of Ourselves

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The too-crowded yurt smelled of burning timber and flamekissed trout. Alison pulled her hair out of her face and back into a tight pony tail. While she was greatful that Helena had protected them, she was growing tired of this life.

She missed her house. She missed going grocery shopping at Costco on Saturdays. She missed not having to hide in the wilderness, with her bumbling husband and his best friend--her extremely pregnant, reformed killer, Ukrainian clone--playing Davy Crockett. And she missed her kids.

God, she missed her kids.

"Do not worry sestra Alison, tomorrow I will go hunting for deer." Helena broke the silence, and Alison's train of thought.

Helena was quite empathic. She must have picked up on her negativity, not that she had been hiding it very well.

"I know you grow tired of campings." Helena's kind smile hit Alison with a pang of guilt. "When Sarah gets sestra Cosima and we are safe, then we can go..." Helena's voice trailed off as she suddenly remembered she didn't quite have a home to go to apart from these woods. "You and Donnie Hendrik can go home."

Alison thought of what home meant. The last time she had been in her home, Donnie was hastily grabbing supplies as Helena helped her clean the blood off of her face, and take care of the body of the man who had been trying to kill them.

The man who Helena killed.

The man who Helena saved them from.

Alison blinked a few times, refocused her thoughts and brought herself back.

"Helena," she began slowly, careful to not seem judgemental--as was so easy for her to do. "You have been so kind to let us stay in your..." Alison searched for the right word.

"Yurt." Helena finished Alison's sentence for her.

"Your home." Alison stressed. "But do you plan on staying here when the babies are born? All alone out here, away from your family? Wouldn't you rather be with us?"

"Donnie Hendrick said my having babies makes you sad."

Alison closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, before stating the truth behind those words. "And that's why you left."

Helena nodded casually, taking the trout off of the grill. "There was no place for me."

Alison took the plate from Helena, locking eyes with her sister.

"Helena, you saved our lives. There will always be a place for you in our home."

-- 1 Month Later

Alison paced the floors of the basement, anxiously twiddling her fingers and she slowly wore a path in the plush carpet.

"I am going insane down here Donnie."

"I can see that." Donnie smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

Alison froze in her tracks and shot her husband a look that could kill.

"I didn't mean it like that, Ali."

Alison a month ago might have jumped down his throat, but Alison tried to find her new self and re-center.

"I know, Donnie. I just feel so helpless right now. Siobhan is gone, Helena is missing. I just need to do," Alison spread her fingers and gestured in front of her, "something."

"I know. I know. Come here." Donnie pulled Alison into an embrace. "Felix and Art have a lead on Helena. We're gonna bring her home."

Alison pulled away from the embrace, a wild look of inspiration in her eyes.

"What are you thinking?" Donnie asked, recognizing the familiar look on his wife's face.

"I know what I can do."

"Oh?" Donnie raised an eyebrow.

"Get the keys. We're going shopping."

-- 2 days later

Alison anxiously looked out the window, waiting to see the minivan pull up. It was hard to believe that everything was really over. That life would soon shift back to normal. Well as normal as their lives would ever really be.

But somehow she was okay with that.

She nervously fluffed the pillows on the couch, keeping herself busy.

She heard the engine shut off and looked again out the window, her heart leapt in her chest when she saw Sarah and Donnie helping Helena get two car seats out of the back of the minivan.

Alison smiled as she opened the door, and invited them in.

Helena smiled as she watched Donnie and Sarah sit the car seats in the floor.

The baby boys were quiet, one sleeping, the other wide-eyed and content.

Alison immediately pulled Helena into an embrace.

"Careful. Sore." Helena muttered, as Alison pulled away quickly.

"Sorry. Are you okay?"

"Much okay. I like your new hairs sestra. Very purple."

"Yeah, I needed a change." Alison said, walking over to hug Sarah. "Sarah, I'm so glad you guys are okay."

Sarah just nodded quietly, her mind still obviously racing from the past 48 hours.

"Well then, who is going to introduce me to my nephews?" Alison asked, her tone perking up.

Helena smiled, motioning for Donnie to give her the baby that was awake.

Donnie grabbed him gently from his carseat, handing him to Helena. The little boy nuzzled into the crook of her arm, fitting like a puzzle piece.

"Oh Helena, he is gorgeous." Alison smiled, as she stood beside her. "What is his name."

"No names yet." Sarah responded.

"I want to learn them first. Then I will give them fitting names." Helena elaborated.

"Wait til you hear how she tells them apart." Donnie said, smiling.

"Baby Orange is in his carseat." Helena stated, "this is Purple."

Alison looked at the purple socks on the boys tiny feet and smiled.

A tiny cry broke the calm of the room.

"Orange is hungry." Helena stated. "Sarah," Helena motioned and gave Purple to Sarah as she waited for Donnie to give her Orange.

Alison followed as Sarah walked to the couch, cooing softly to the boy in her arms. The two sat down together.

"Sarah, I don't know what to say about Siobhan. About everything really. But tomorrow morning I'm getting on a plane and for the first time in a month I'm gonna see my kids. And I have you to thank for that."

"You don't have to thank me Alison. We all played our part, ya know." Sarah said. They both sat quiet for a moment before Sarah spoke again.

"S' is--was really good with babies. She would have been head over heels for these two." Sarah smiled sadly, her eyes tired. "You wanna hold 'im?"

Alison nodded, reaching out to grab the little bundle of a boy.

"Hi there." Her voice was soft and cheery. "I'm your auntie Alison."

-- A few hours later

Helena had just gotten both boys to sleep when Alison pulled her aside.

"Sestra Alison, is everything alright?"

Alison nodded, taking Helena's hand. "I have something I want to show you."

Alison lead Helena outside of the house and across to the garage.

"Helena, I have never apologized to you."

A look of confusion crossed Helena's face.

Alison continued.

"I went on a trip a few weeks ago. I decided that I didn't like the person that I was very much."

"So you changed your hairs."

Alison chuckled.

"Yes, but that isn't all." She breathed in, resuming her train of thought. "Helena, I was awful to you. You never felt at home here. You were going to be a first time mom, and instead of helping you from my own experiences, I resented you. I drove you away." Alison wiped away a tear and continued. "You cared for my kids, you befriended my husband. You are family Helena. And I want you to know that you and your boys always have a place here."

Alison opened the door of the garage, and Helena's eyes went wide as she saw the changes that had been made.

"Now, don't make your final judgements because it isn't done yet. And I know it isn't quite the um, rustic home that the yurt was but--"

Helena interrupted, her eyes teary. "It's perfect."

Helena looked at the bear skin rug on the floor and smiled, "You hunt for bears?"

Alison laughed, before answering proudly, "Only on eBay."

"This will be wonderful home." Helena stated, still looking through the renovated garage. She eyes the boxes of craft supplies with curiosity. Alison took notice.

"I'm not going to use them anymore, but I figured you might. I almost threw them away."

Helena sighed, clearly overwhelmed by Alison's kindness.

"Once we get back from Florida with the kids, we'll get you settled in. Until then, you can stay in our bedroom. Sarah says she'll stay and help you out while we are gone."

"Thank you sestra Alison."

Alison smiled, reaching out to take Helena's hand.

"That's what family is for."