„I kind of… really…” I murmured, eyes focused on the can of hot coffee we had gotten from the vending machine a few minutes ago before we had continued our way down the streets of the quiet neighborhood, my fingers shaking despite the warmth of the drink. I did not dare to look up at Fuma as I continued. “…want to kiss you now.”
There was a moment of silence, and I wondered if Fuma had even heard me, before he choked on his own cocoa and began coughing uncontrollably. I blinked, looking up to see him lowering the can from his lips, gasping for air.
“… What?!” he brought out, his voice high, and I felt an unnatural warmth in my cheeks, considering the cold weather.
“I… I just… forget it” I murmured, my whole courage fading into nothingness as I brought my eyes back to my drink.
“How can I forget it?!” Fuma demanded. “I… really? I mean, you…”
“… Yes” I murmured, clearing my throat. “I mean, we are out for Valentine’s Day and stuff, and…”
“We went for dinner after work” Fuma squealed.
“And then we’ve been strolling through the streets for an hour talking!” I reminded him defensively.
“W… well” Fuma spluttered. “That…”
“Forget it” I repeated, trying to gulp down the tightness around my heart. “My bad, I… misunderstood.”
There was a moment of silence, before Fuma groaned, and when I tentatively looked up at him, he had his eyes closed and looked pained.
“It’s not like that, really” he murmured unwillingly. “I mean… I kind of… wanted to spend time with you? So it’s not really like you… misunderstood…”
I blinked, trying to make sense of his words, but Fuma did not elaborate, so I let out a very intelligent: “… Huh?”
“I don’t know!” Fuma whined in frustration, finally opening his eyes to look at me. “You are my friend. And a guy. I am not supposed to feel like this!”
My heartbeat was so loud that I could hear it droning in my ears as I stared at Fuma, because really, that was as close to a confession as I would get with Fuma.
“So… do you want to kiss?” I asked hopefully, and Fuma groaned.
“Don’t ask such things!” he complained, reaching out to push at my shoulder, making me spill some of the drink over my hands as I tried to keep balance. “Shit, I’m sorry!” he called in alarm as he saw me gasp in pain.
He dug into his pockets for a moment before pulling out a pack of tissues he had received as a giveaway earlier near the restaurant we had been to, pulling two out and giving them to me so I could somehow dry my hands, but the thin tissues did nothing to fight off the stickiness.
“We are terrible at this” I murmured finally, still uselessly trying to clean my fingers as Fuma held my drink. “I kind of imagined this more romantic. Valentine’s Day and all.”
“You and your romance” Fuma murmured, seeming embarrassed. “I’m no girl, you know. You can’t sweep me off my feet with your awkward babbling. This is not JMK.”
“At least I did something” I snapped. “That’s more than you can say.”
Fuma was quiet for a moment, before bending down and carefully putting the cans he was still holding onto the asphalt. I stared in confusion at first, before he came up again and abruptly grabbed my shoulders, making me drop one of the tissues in surprise.
“Fuma?!” I blinked when he stared at me in a weird mix between determination and panic.
“You wanted a kiss” Fuma replied, shrugging awkwardly. “So stop talking and let me kiss you!”
“I.. what?! Really?!” I asked, a little baffled, and Fuma glared pointedly. “Okay, fine, fine!” I nodded, putting the other tissue into the pocket of my jacket quickly, clearing my throat. “I am ready.”
Fuma rolled his eyes, but I just nervously licked my lips and closed my eyes.
I could hear Fuma take a shaky breath, and his grip on my shoulders tightened for a moment.
“You are such a freak” he murmured, and I would have opened my eyes to snap something at him, but then he detached one hand from my shoulder.
I jerked a little when trembling fingers cupped my cheek, the thumb gently tracing my cheekbone, and I gulped, holding as still as I could, afraid to ruin the moment if I did just one wrong move.
I stopped breathing when Fuma’s lips pressed against mine softly. First, both of us froze, as if no one dared to even move, but then, Fuma pressed his lips more firmly against mine, and I found myself returning the pressure.
Fuma’s lips were dry and clumsy as they moved against mine, and his fingers were still shaking where they were cupping my face, but he did not let go, as if determined to keep kissing me until it worked, and it was what made me respond, desperately trying to keep up with Fuma’s pace as my fingers found his jacket, pulling him closer.
Fuma’s hand went from my shoulder to my back, and little shudders ran up my spine as he pressed his body against mine, parting his lips a little to catch my lower lip, nibbling on it.
I could smell Fuma all around me now, the scent of his shampoo and cocoa, and it made me pull my arms around his waist, clinging onto him as I tentatively licked over his lips.
Fuma tilted his head a little to the side, and when his tongue finally found mine, all coherent thought left my brain.
We kissed until I did not even feel the cold of the winter night anymore, and when Fuma finally pulled away, I gasped for air, not even having realized how desperately I had needed it.
“We are still horrible at this” Fuma noted, sounding breathless as well, but his hand did not move from my cheek, and his other hand had fisted the back of my jacket.
“Well, we can practice?” I asked tentatively, making Fuma chuckle, though it sounded a little choked. “It can only get better from here.”
“I guess” Fuma agreed, resting his forehead against mine, making me close my eyes again. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
A wide smile broke out on my face, and I thought that even if that had possibly been the worst Valentine’s kiss in existence, I had gotten what I wanted, in the end.