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to discover the boy you lost

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 From the time he was born his parents had told him that Jewish and gay people and black people were bad. Dirty.




From the time he was born, he believed them.


Now he was 12 years old. A first year at the boarding school he'd just started at, Hogwarts. (He'd been an online school student: his parents didn't trust him enough to put him in public school but didn't love him enough to homeschool him.)


They were learning about the Holocaust in Muggle Studies.


He clicked from website to website on his bed, way past lights out.


"Jesus," he whispered.


His dad had been so wrong.


His dad had been so cruel.


Every protest he'd gone to - oh god, he could be condemning the people who were atheists or gay or pro-choice or muggleborn or Jewish or black or Muslim to the same kind of thing - he had been so wrong-


He was up until three in the morning.




He woke up at 6am.




He turned on the computer he used to do schoolwork and looked at the last page he'd been on. "Persecution Of Homosexuals In Nazi Germany"


He typed in gay discrimination.


"Concentration Camps For Gay Russians Set Up By Putin"


"Boy, 15, Commits Suicide Over Homophobic Bullying"


"Gay rights: a World of Inequality"


"Why Are Those Men Kissing? Explaining Homosexuality From A Christian Viewpoint"


"Are Bisexuals Part Of The Queer Community?"


That's stupid, thought Draco, seeing as the acronym is LGBT...


"Transgender Girl Killed For Her Identity"


"Queer Identities You Probably Haven't Heard Of"


Although he wanted to read them all, he clicked on that one.





Queer Identities You Probably Haven't Heard Of

By Mae Aarnolde


You've probably heard of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, and you probably know what they mean.


But have you heard of non-binary, pansexual, agender, asexual, gender-fluid, gender-flux, demisexual, bigender, or aromantic? In this article, we'll decode these terms and more.


Non-binary: A gender identity that is not strictly, completely, and always either male or female.

Agender: A lack of gender, neither male nor female

Genderfluid: A gender identity that changes fluidly

Genderflux: a gender identity that fluctuates; eg, one could be a genderflux girl and go between agender, female, and anything in between.

Bigender: having two genders, most commonly male and female

Demigender: a gender that is only partially; eg, a demiboy is part boy

Genderfire: like genderfluid, but the gender behaves more as a fire than a fluid

Jurega: like female, but on a different plane of existence

Proxvir: like male, but on a different plane of existence

Pansexual: attracted to people of any gender equally

(Many people will ask, how is this different from bisexuality?

Bisexuality is the attraction to two. Two groups of people: people of your gender, and people of other genders. Pansexuality is attraction regardless of gender)

Asexual: not feeling sexual attraction. Asexual people can still have sex or be aroused, but they cannot feel attraction to others.

Demisexual: can only feel sexual attraction to people after becoming close to them; a subset of asexual.

Autochorrisexual: cannot feel attraction without a disconnect; eg, can imagine sex with someone only if it's not them the person is having sex with.

Aromantic: Not feeling romantic attraction.

Demiromantic: only feeling romantic attraction after getting to know someone


If you have any questions or comments, please comment below!!


by Mae A


Draco reflected on this. He'd never heard of most of those terms before. None of them really seemed to fit, but then again, he didn't really understand most of them.


He scrolled down to where the comment box was.


* means required


Name:* Mira

Email or twitter:* miraisontwitter


Comment:* hi, i was just wondering if you could explain more about the gender identities? I don't understand how you could be more than one gender at a time, sorry. Thank you for your article, i learned a lot from it :)


That would have to be good enough for now.




Some time later, he found himself on a website for transgender boys and men.




Need a chest binder?


Passing tips from real trans men


How do I know if I'm trans?


How to naturally masculinise your body


Voice deepening exercise


Need a new name? Check here


He clicked on "how do I know if I'm trans?"


It turned out to be a survey. When he checked off a statement, it was bolded. 





I was born female but I identify as male.

I am unhappy with my breasts.

Isn't everyone? mused Draco.




Femininity is stifling.

I lean towards typical 'boyish' things to do (eg: weightlifting, biking)

I am nonbinary

I do not feel particularly connected to womanhood

I do not feel connected to manhood or womanhood

Because I'm still a kid...




I am unhappy with my body

I would like having a deeper voice

I am taking this survey right now

He debated being a smartass but ultimately decided to leave it bolded.




As a child, I enjoyed superheroes more than princesses

I would not be unhappy if someone referred to me as "sir"

Going through puberty felt like a betrayal from my body

You try getting boobs at age 8.




I have contemplated suicide

I don't like being referred to as "she"

I avoid using public restrooms

I feel uncomfortable in groups of girls

I have friends who are boys

It feels "wrong" when I get my period

I wish I were more muscular

I am a boy

I don't feel girly

My gender changes

Gender roles are dumb

I'd rather be a brother than a sister

I'd rather be a dad than a mom


Get results


He clicked.


24 of 32 of your answers suggest that you could fall on the transgender spectrum.


This test cannot tell you your true gender; it can only suggest what you look into.


Draco contemplated this. Sure, he'd never been particularly "girly."


But that didn't mean he was a boy.




He closed out of the tab and found himself back on the Google Doc he'd been typing up about the Holocaust and how it compared to the witch burning trials of the 14th century.


Because no matter how much his world was shaking, homework would always be there to haunt him.