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Believe

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He feels like he needs to drop to his knees and beg her to leave. What kind of fucked up place are they in? He’s spent seven years wanting her to stay, to follow him on his quest. And now, just as he’s ready to believe – not in aliens or the truth, but in something as ironic as love – he’s pushing her away. They’re seasoned at the subtext, the passivity, the undercurrent of their strange relationship. But what he needs to hear now is something grand and declarative. He needs the okay, Mulder, I’m going home and I’ll stay safe.
She scoots back against him, sniffing. “I’ll be fine, Mulder. I need to stay. We’ve come so far and I need to see this with you.”
“You’re not well. Go home, Scully.” Please. Just for me.
She rolls over and strokes his jaw line, gently scratching at his stubble with a finger and thumb, her eyes half-closed and a small smile playing across her lips. His body reacts and he shifts back in embarrassment. It’s still new and if he loses himself in the sounds she makes and the way she guides him inside her with the most erotic mix of coy and confidence and the way her hair feels against his bare skin, if that happens now, she’ll stay and that isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. He knows she has to leave. Just knows.
But she stays. She packs a backpack with water and her flashlight and she smiles at him as he checks in with Skinner. He is distracted by her, by her presence. She is here. She is with him. And they are going to see the UFO.
He pockets his phone. “Skinner is concerned. He wants us to go back to Washington tonight.”
“Mulder,” she says. “This is everything you’ve worked for.”
He knows. He knows that. “The gunmen told Skinner there’s evidence they’re looking for me. I don’t…”
She flicks her hair from out of the collar of her jacket. “What evidence?”
“That Billy Miles and the other abductees have the same electro encephalitic brain trauma that I had earlier this year. That it’s not you who’s at risk, but me.”
“What? What does this mean?”
He’s sure she knows what it means. But she’s determined to be with him when he sees the fruition of his pursuit. “It means we need to be careful, Scully.” He drops a kiss on her head and she steps into him. She fits him. Everything about her fits him and it’s only now that he sees this clearly. Maybe this is his God showing himself. He has spent so long praying for the truth that his God is offering up the treasures of his brightest dreams. She looks up at him, into him. He feels her as surely as he feels his own heartbeat. She is inside him, his skin, his thoughts, his being. They are one and he pulls her tighter, feeling her delicate frame even through the bulk of her night gear. He feels her juddering breath and he kisses her like he can save her soul.
“We should go, Mulder. Let’s see what’s out there for us.”