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i will love you when you are a still day, i will love you when you are a hurricane

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In retrospect, maybe Joe really was a fucking idiot.


They were in Hershey, PA when it happened. Joe was (severely) hungover, Hayley a little ball of bright hair beside him even through his sunglasses. He was sluggish and sensitive, dressed down in a hoodie and sweats, desperate for some damn coffee because he couldn’t have another beer and could still taste Jack in his throat whenever he coughed.

“You going to die?” Hayley asked quietly, whispered, because the rest of the world was too loud. Joe hummed in his agreement, tugging her hood up over her hair because it was so painfully bright in his peripheries.

There was little about corporate America that Joe actually liked, but having a Starbucks on every corner was definitely handy. He followed Hayley in, holding the door open for her to walk under his arm and into the building. She patted him lightly on the stomach as she went in, pushing her hood down since the building was relatively empty at 5:30 AM. He should be asleep, or passed out, but the lure of some coffee to start off his day before maybe taking a nap was too strong. That, and he could probably get Andy something, since he’d be up in about an hour anyway, and that could maybe result in some making out if he was sober enough.

Hayley ordered first, hands on the counter and moving up to tip toes with a narrow to her eyes to read the menu. She, blessed be, ordered something for Joe, as well, that sounded like the words venti and pike. And, with a light push of his elbow into her side, she ordered something for Andy, too.

“You smell like a bar floor,” Hayley commented while they waited for their drinks, Joe resting his weight against her lightly.

“I think I might have licked one,” he mumbled, sniffing loudly to clear the mucus from his nose and trying to clear his throat of whatever was sticking to it.

Hayley’s laugh was a short thing. “You’re disgusting.”

Drinks in hand, Joe didn’t have the vitality to start heading back, so they grabbed a table. Hayley talked, mostly an absent thing, because for some fucking reason she was a morning person. It had been an accident, running into her on his way back to the bus, but he was glad she’d dragged him along because despite burning his mouth on his coffee, it was definitely helping.

For the most part, he kept his forehead pressed against the cool table. His body ached something fierce, and he wasn’t about to go and try to crawl into bed with Andy to make him feel better and maybe whine a little (a lot) when he was still slightly intoxicated. He hissed when he felt a hand smack the back of his head, rolling his head until he could see Hayley’s smug face.

“Are you even listening?”

“Jesus fuck, what is your problem?” Joe hissed, rubbing his hand against the back of his head, tender and sore. “You on the rag or something?”

He could see Hayley smirk, unaffected, before her eyes flicked over and a knit went in her brow. A second later Joe knew why.

“You really shouldn’t speak to your girlfriend like that,” a voice said, lightly accented, out of Joe’s immediate line of vision.

Hayley’s laugh might have been offensive at any other time, but Joe was more bewildered, looking up to see a young woman standing there. She had a long, dark coat on, thick curly hair that resembled his but more tame. She definitely looked pissed but Joe couldn’t really care because he had no fucking clue who she was.

“Excuse me?” he said, voice tight, because this really wasn’t the morning for it. He was fucking exhausted and Hayley just looked infinitely amused, taking a sip of her coffee and raising her eyebrows at him.

“You should respect your girlfriend more than that, to devalue her emotions like that,” this woman said again, pointing to Hayley. Joe looked at her heavily ringed finger. “You should respect women more than that.”

Joe was a little dumbfounded, looking to this strange woman before back to Hayley, repeating the cycle over and over again until he finally managed to say, “Lady, I respect women so much I don’t date them.”

Hayley actually laughed at that one. The woman’s brows furrowed, looking between Hayley and Joe, connecting the dots and letting out a soft humph.

“Perhaps its for the best, then. Until you learn.” And then she was walking away, leaving Hayley and Joe staring at her back until Hayley was laughing, loud and hard.

“I’m glad you find this funny,” Joe said, decidedly more awake now but no less hungover. He downed the rest of his coffee, grabbing Andy’s drink before standing. “Let’s get the fuck out of here before I’m accused of being homophobic too, shit.”

“I don’t know, she did kinda have a point…” Hayley trailed off, grinning, screeching when Joe wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her in for a noogie.

They made their way back to the car, Joe shoving Hayley whenever she got too close to him. In the passenger seat, he looked back at the Starbucks, saw the woman standing outside the store to the left and staring at him. Her lips were moving, saying something, but Joe couldn’t understand what it was. It was unnerving, and he really was tempted to flip her off. Instead, he pulled his hoodie up tighter, watching her walk into the store, confused as to who would just go up to someone without any pretense like that.


The first thing Joe heard when he got on the bus was a girl screaming. The second was a girl screaming his name.

It sounded vaguely like Andy, kinda, maybe a little too high pitched but enough to make Joe panic from his stomach up through his chest. He put the coffee down, making a run for the sound, managing to jump over Pete as he was either pushed from the bunk by a surprised Patrick or willingly fell to see what was wrong.

“Andy!” Joe yelled, checking his bunk to find nothing. Then he checked his own bunk, still nothing, until a meek voice came from the bathroom.

“In here.”

Pete and Patrick were both up, half dressed, looking groggy and concerned. They all paused outside the bathroom, waiting a breath until the door opened and oh.

It was Andy, kinda. Joe’s eyes immediately went to his chest, the colorful tattoos now covering two breasts instead of a flat chest. Up to his face, Joe could see the difference there. There was no stubble, not even a trace, his features a little softer and smoother. His hair hadn’t changed in length, short and smoothed back, looking relatively androgynous and--

“I have the weirdest boner right now,” Pete announced, earning an elbow to the gut from Patrick.

“Why am I a girl?” Andy asked, a little too loudly, and yeah, he was probably freaking out. Joe honestly didn’t blame him. But then again, his head was going Andy and girl and smokin’ hot so it was hard to concentrate. “Stop staring at my tits!”

Joe pulled his eyes away, looking at Andy standing there. He was so slight now, without the bulk of his arms and his shoulders. He was smooth and slender, covered in tattoos, the swell of his hips visible with the way the waistband of his basketball shorts looked a little too tight.

And then there were his tits.

“I, uh,” Joe started, feeling a little dumbfounded. “I, what?”

“Why are you a girl?” Patrick wondered aloud, and how was he able to think when Andy was a fucking girl and was so unbelievably hot? At least Pete seemed just about as braindead as he was.

“I don’t know,” Andy said, and his voice was softer, without that rolling sort of tenor timbre to it that Joe loved. “I went to sleep and had a dick. Now I’m awake and I have ladybits.”

“Wait,” Pete said, Patrick slamming a hand over his mouth before the rest could get out. Which was pointless, since Joe finished the thought for him anyway with, “You have a pussy?”

“I feel like I would be a little let down if I lost most of my muscle mass, my normal voice, a majority of my body hair, add tits, and didn’t get a pussy,” Andy pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest in a natural movement from before but now he had tits and they were perky, nipples a splash of pink against the color of his tattoos.

Okay, calm down. It had been, what, only five years since the last time he’d seen a perfect pair of tits in front of him that he could touch. He loved Andy, loved every inch of him. He loved his cock, the way it fit perfectly in his mouth without being too much or in his hand when he was soft. He loved having sex with Andy, fucking him, getting fucked, hard and dirty with clawing and biting. Or soft and sweet, laughter between thrusts that they swallowed. But there were things he missed about having sex with girls. Vaguely, like how you miss friends from college that you had good times with and if you ran into them again you wouldn’t outwardly avoid them.

“Uh,” Patrick began, because Joe and Pete were lost to the world. “Why don’t you put a shirt on so we can all think clearly and we’ll have a band meeting. Sound good? Yeah, good.” He grabbed Pete by the back of his hair, dragging him clear to their bunk and shoving him in. Meanwhile, Joe just continued to stare, this time into Andy’s eyes, and shit.

“Hey,” Joe said softly, opening his arms to take Andy into a hug. He could feel his tits pressed against him and that was distracting, and he couldn’t really hide the fact that he was hard as a rock, but Andy was freaked and Joe was being shitty. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, okay? Are you okay?”

“What’s going on?” Andy mumbled into Joe’s chest and shit, he must have shrunk a couple of inches because he could tuck into Joe perfectly now.

“I don’t know,” Joe said, smoothing his hand up Andy’s back. Even that was different, too. Smooth, soft skin that wasn’t covering the hint of hardened muscle. “I don’t know. Do you want me to grab you a shirt?”

“Yeah, sure,” Andy said in a soft way that had nothing to do with his voice and everything to do with how he was feeling. It made Joe feel guilty for a moment, because Jesus what was he, an animal? His boyfriend was suddenly a girl and all he could think about was fucking her. Him. Him.

Joe went back to the bunks while Andy closed the bathroom door again, looking around the ground in order to find a tank top that was his. He sniffed it to check cleanliness, deeming it fine, before knocking once on the door. Andy opened it a sliver, just to check and make sure it was Joe, before he opened it up a little further so he could go inside.

“I grabbed this for--mmph!”

Whatever he had been expecting (give Andy the shirt, maybe ask to touch his boobs) it was certainly not Andy throwing himself at him. Arms around Joe’s neck, mouth stale with sleep but Joe kissed him back, cupping his hips, trying to get over the fact that they filled his palms so much more than before.

“Thank you,” Andy said when they pulled away, grabbing the tank top from Joe.

Joe was still a little dazed, grinning like a moron, before murmuring, “No thank you,” and heading out the door.

Patrick and Pete were already sitting on the couches, Pete absently fiddling with a guitar to keep his hands busy while Patrick looked deep in thought. They both looked up when Joe sat across from them heavily, hands covering his face, not even bothering to hide turned on he was.

“My boyfriend is a girl,” Joe repeated, because he honestly couldn’t believe it. Out of all the weird shit in his life, this had to take the cake. “A really, really, really hot girl.” Which made sense, because Andy was a really, really, really hot guy, he just never knew the opposite would be true,

“He really is, though,” Patrick added, absent like an afterthought, jumping when Pete elbowed him in the ribs. “What! You know he’s attractive. At least I had the common decency to not stand there and stare directly at his tits.”

“They’re nice, okay?” Pete defended, sounding like it wasn’t the first time. “It’s been a really fucking long time since I’ve seen a pair that close.”

“Right, and the same doesn’t go for me?” Patrick snapped back.

“Preach,” Joe added, everyone quieting down once Andy was out of the bathroom again.

He looked a little better in the tank top, but it was too big for him, showing off the ample curve of his breasts from the side. Pete was attentive immediately, sitting up, then flinching away before Patrick could hit him again.

Joe opened his arms up again for Andy, marvelling a little at how he could just fold himself up into a ball and tuck into Joe’s side. Joe took his unzipped hoodie, covering Andy up with some of it, tugging him closer to rest against his chest as they all just kinda sat there.

“So, did you do anything different last night?” Patrick finally asked, Andy shaking his head no against Joe’s chest. “Well, what about this morning?”

“I woke up to piss and had a surprising lack of dick,” Andy answered, muffled by Joe’s shirt.

Pete hummed out thoughtfully, scrubbing a hand through his hair before motioning to Joe. “Okay, did you do something weird?”

Joe blinked, because he hadn’t thought of that. Had he done something weird? He’d been drinking last night, but that wasn’t that strange. It had been him and some of the Paramore crew, and he still remembered everything clearly until morning. He’d been a little groggy when he’d run into Hayley, but--

“Oh god,” Joe said suddenly.

The woman at Starbucks.

Andy shot straight up, eyes narrowed. “What did you do?”

All three sets of eyes were on him now, making him a little nervous at the scrutiny. “There was this crazy ass woman, it wasn’t my fault!” Joe immediately went with, and that didn’t put anyone at ease.

Instead, Andy gripped his chin hard (soft, smooth fingers that were just as long as they’d been) and forced Joe to meet his eyes before biting off each word. “What. Did. You. Do.”

“I was with little red, okay? And I’m hungover as fuck, we’re in starbucks, and she’s talking to me about something but I don’t fucking know because it was 5:30AM and I’m not a morning person, baby, you know that. So she hits me on the back of the head and I ask if she’s on the rag because that was a bitch move and then suddenly there’s this crazy lady there talking about how I need to respect women!” Joe glared at Pete when he snorted as much as he could with Andy’s death grip. “And then I told her that I respect women enough that I don’t date them and now you’re a girl? I don’t know how!”

Andy’s face looked stormy, mouth tight and eyes narrowed. “What. Did. You. DO!” he yelled, entirely too close to Joe’s too tender brain, making him cower and whimper. “Are you serious? You say some stupid shit and suddenly I’m the one with the wrong parts?”

“She said I needed to learn how to respect women!” Joe said quickly, hands against Andy’s arms to try and calm him down and mostly to prevent himself from getting punched. “Maybe that’s all I need to do!”

“Dude,” Pete started, rubbing the back of his neck lightly. “It’s not like you’re some misogynistic asshole running around. You respect women already. You just made a stupid ass comment.”

“I know,” Joe whined out, turning his attention back to Andy. “Baby, I’ll fix it, I promise, okay? Just stop looking at me like that. I think she has a shop right next to the Starbucks and--where are you going?”

Andy stood up sharply, cutting Joe off. He very pointedly didn’t notice the movement of his chest, and fuck Andy had to be at least a C cup.

“We’re going,” Andy said, yanking the shirt up over his head as he walked away.


“We’re going!” he said again, yelled this time, and Joe just sighed in defeat. Patrick and Pete looked a little frightened, watching Andy grab a shirt from his own clothes pile before slamming the door to the bathroom shut.

“You dun fucked up,” Pete said quietly, Patrick nodding in agreement.

“Fuck,” Joe said to no one in particular.


They rode to the shop in silence, mostly because Andy was fuming and Joe was too afraid to say anything. It was rare that Andy was this angry, but Joe couldn’t even fault him for it. Wouldn’t. Because he knew that he’d be just as freaked out if the same thing had happened to him. And he would be just as pissed if it was someone else’s fault.

Andy added a hoodie to the shirt he’d found, zipping it up all the way and turning the AC on in the car. They needed to get this fixed soon, because the summer heat was going to kick in and it wasn’t just like Andy could take the hoodie off and walk around. His tattoos would be a dead giveaway as to who he was and how were they supposed to explain that he was a girl?


“Don’t,” Andy said sharply, slamming on the brakes to park, sending Joe into his seatbelt. “Don’t even, okay?”

Joe wanted to get angry. He felt the flare of it inside of him light, like a match, but it dissipated just as quickly. It was kind of his fault, as much as the crazy lady was at fault, too. But they were going to make it right.

It was awkward to walk into the shop. It looked like a normal hipster meets stoner shop, with jewelry, posters, tapestries and incense, reeking of patchouli. It wasn’t anything Joe hadn’t seen before, or spent time in. Andy seemed to take it all in for a minute too before he was moving forward towards a woman behind the counter.

“That’s not her,” Joe warned quietly, like he thought that Andy was going to launch himself at the woman for no reason. That would be silly. But he was pretty pissed.

“Hi, excuse me,” Andy said, sounding as polite as ever. The woman looked up between them, taking in Joe’s bloodshot eyes and frown, the way that Andy seemed a little too tense, and simply huffed out a sigh.

“I thought you’d be coming,” she answered, lacing her fingers and looking to Andy. “I presume you to be the boyfriend she cursed?”

“You presumed correctly,” Andy said, resting his hands on the glass case that she was sitting behind. It was filled with glass plugs and other jewelry, including some bowls. Joe stared at them listlessly. “Listen, I know my boyfriend said something offensive, I get it. He was, I assume, hungover, if not drunk, and it was said to one of our good friends that he knew wouldn’t be upset by it. Now, please turn me back into a dude.”

The woman pursed her lips, rubbing her temples slowly. “Vida, vida. I wish I could. However, my daughter is rash, impulsive. Our community is matriachal in nature, and to disrespect a woman’s body or person is the utmost offense. That is why, I believe, she casted a curse on your boyfriend.” She stopped, looking at Joe before to Andy. “I’m sorry, but I cannot do anything.”

“Why?” Andy hissed out, and for a second Joe actually did think Andy was going to hit her, reaching out a hand to settle at the small of his back, rubbing in slow circles. “Why do I have to be the girl?”

“Truth be told, I think she was aiming for your boyfriend here,” the woman pointed to Joe. “But she’s young, yet. Her magic is strong, though. It must run its course, unless your boyfriend learns his lesson.”

“For how long?” Andy’s voice had gone quiet again, rubbing at his eyes in time with Joe rubbing at the small of his back.

“I… could hash a guess,” she offered, shrugging. “Without the intended moral learned, then perhaps a year or so?”

“Can’t we talk to her? Get her to remove it?” Joe tried, because Andy looked like he was either going to break something or cry. “I can apologize, I really am sorry. It’s just… we’re in a band and Andy… he can’t perform like this. And we can’t really explain what happened.”

The woman shook her head sadly. “She’s not here. She told me about what she did, or what she thought she had done, and left. I haven’t a clue where.”

“She’s your daughter?” Joe asked, rubbing his hand further up Andy’s back. “Can’t you just, you know, call her?”

“Daughter is what we call all the young women in our culture,” she explained through a sigh. “I’m no more related to her biologically than I am to you. The same goes for the burden of responsibility--I have none. No way to reach her, no way to turn you back.”

“But… But…” Andy tried, pressing a hand to his mouth and Joe was getting incredibly more worried that he actually was going to cry. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Corazones,” the woman said lightly, a faint smile on her lips. “There is a lesson to be learned here, somewhere. If she wanted you to learn a lesson, it would not be unrealistic. To respect women is not so difficult, yes? Perhaps just show one another you love each other.”

“That’s a lot harder than it sounds right now,” Andy said, rubbing the hand from his mouth to his eyes. “If you see her again, please, please give us a call, okay?”

Andy jotted down both of their numbers, handing it to the woman, who took with with a small smile. “Be good to one another, everything will be okay,” she said, just as someone walked into the shop. It was time to go, Joe steering Andy out of the way, looking a little dumbfounded, and it just made Joe feel even more awful.

He took the keys from Andy, tucking him into the passenger seat and trying desperately not to look at him the entire way home and try and focus on the road. It was hard when he looked so small though, feet up on the seat, his chin resting on his knees. It was a stupid move, but he reached over, taking one of Andy’s hands in his and just holding it, resting it on the console between them. He half expected Andy to pull away but he didn’t, letting Joe hold his hand, not letting go until they had to get out of the car. And even then, Andy took it again once they were walking towards the bus.

Patrick and Pete were right where they left them, looking up hopefully and immediately dropping the look at their faces. Joe nodded, once, let Andy lead him to the back room and shut the door behind them. Joe was a little out of his league, Andy letting go of his hand at the door, walking further into the room and stripping out of his hoodie.

“We going to talk about this?” Joe asked, leaning back against the door. He tried not to suck in a breath as Andy pulled his shirt off, all those tattoos exposed once again. But then he didn’t stop there, dropping the shorts and god Joe was going to go crazy, able to look at the curve of his ass, fuller and smoother than it had been before.

“I’m going to take a nap first,” Andy said, turning to face Joe and yeah, there was definitely a dick missing. “Have you even slept?”

Huh, fancy that. He hadn’t. What a silly thing to forget, because now that he’d been reminded, he was fucking exhausted. He stripped himself down, too, watching carefully as Andy moved to lay down onto the bed. He was beautiful like that, that soft body sprawled out for only Joe. He didn’t know how much he could touch, but he was fully aware of just how much he wanted to. It was evident in just about everything about him now, from his half-hard cock to the eager way he crawled into bed and pressed himself against Andy’s back when he curled up.

“I’m really fucking mad at you,” Andy mumbled when Joe pulled the sheets up over their bodies, settling down. “But I do love you.”

“I love you, too,” Joe answered automatically, kissing the curve of Andy’s shoulder before hugging him tightly. “Anyway you are, I love you.”

Andy hummed out and then fell quiet, conversation over and nap time commenced.


When Joe woke up, Andy was texting Hayley.

“Think she’ll help me get some clothes or something?” Andy asked, sounding a little too vulnerable.

Joe was entirely too groggy, only two hours of sleep after nothing, and now that he had a chance to touch Andy he wasn’t giving it away. He stayed in neutral territory, skimming over the flat of his stomach, the curve of his hips, over and over again until Andy was probably a little too warm but they were meant to be comforting.

Still, Joe nodded at the question, mouth warm and wet on the curve of Andy’s neck. He was tiptoeing around what he actually wanted to do, wanted to touch, but he was thankful that Andy was letting him touch at all. He’d been pretty pissed off to begin with, though anger never really lasted long with Andy anyways.

Joe didn’t know how the text conversation was going, too busy keeping his face pressed into the crook of Andy’s neck. He froze when Andy let out a sigh, thinking he’d stepped too far, but then Andy’s hand was closing over his and moving it up, up, enough to cup the curve of his breast and oh.

“Yeah, get used to it,” Andy said quietly, hands still busy texting. “Because these are the last tits you are ever going to touch, buddy.”

The thought didn’t scare him as much as he thought it would, weighing Andy’s breast in his hand gingerly. He wasn’t sure how sexual he was supposed to make this, but worse case Andy would just punch him, so he rolled his thumb against his nipple and was thoroughly pleased and the rush of air from Andy that he got.

Andy’s phone was ringing, definitely Hayley, and Joe didn’t see any reason to stop. There was some laughter, some disbelief, Andy listening attentively all while Joe touched him. Back and forth between his tits, squeezing and touching until he was comfortable with the weight of them, how Andy liked to be touched. He could tell by the way his voice dropped, or when he squeezed his thighs together for some type of friction.

It was strange to think about mentally, Andy having tits and a pussy, but his body was completely fine with it. More than fine, judging by how hard he was and how eager he was to touch and explore. He gently eased Andy onto his back, moved to kneel between his legs, and just touch. He ran his hand from his tits down over his side, skirting up the back of his thighs to hook on his knees and spread his legs a little and oh god. The moan he let out wasn’t even his fault, Andy smacking him on the chest before murmuring something to Hayley.

“Can I?” Joe whispered, because Andy definitely didn’t have a dick. He had just about the same amount of hair, though--neatly trimmed down, just a shadow between Andy’s legs that made Joe want.

The nod of Andy’s head couldn’t come fast enough, Joe hooking one of his legs around his waist to free a hand. And dear god Andy was wet. He was wet for him and that thought alone nearly short circuited his brain, hips thrusting once off of some baser instinct while he moaned.

Andy hung up the phone in a hurry, tossing it aside on the bed and looking up at Joe. He looked so familiar and yet so different, Joe leaning down to kiss him while his fingers traced Andy’s slit gently, teasing, feeling how wet he was already.

“Hayley’s coming over,” Andy murmured into his mouth, hands coming to Joe’s hair to card through it.

“Think she could help?” Joe asked, half paying attention to the conversation. Not even half. About eighty percent of his attention was currently between Andy’s legs, rubbing up and down with his thumb until it was slick.

Joe wanted to record the sweet little noise that Andy made when his thumb found his clit, head pushing back into the bed while Joe drew lazy circles around it. He pushed the hood up, careful not to be too rough, instead getting a wiggle of Andy’s hips and a quiet moan.

“How’s that feel?” It was obvious, but Joe always liked to talk. He liked to get Andy to respond, in something more than just his whimpers and sighs. Besides, Andy seemed a little nervous, thighs shaking and breathing shallow.

“I can see how girls enjoy this, yeah,” Andy murmured, making Joe smile and kiss him a little deeper, tongue against Andy’s while he continued to roll his thumb. Up and down then side to side, keeping his pace slow, leisure, until Andy was speaking again. “The build is different… It’s, fuck, like everything down south is tight and hot.”

“Everything does seem tight and hot,” Joe commented, laughing when Andy pulled his hair a little. “Do you want me to--”

“Guys, Hayley’s here!” Patrick called through the door, making Andy whine a little in frustration. He sat up, Joe still between his legs, looking at how hard Joe was before back down to his own body, new and strange. Joe kept his hand where it was, letting Andy watch as he teased him, smiling when there was a frustrated groan and Andy shoved him away.

“I shouldn’t have sex with you,” Andy said, grabbing the basketball shorts and tugging them up roughly. “You’re an asshole.”

Joe sucked his thumb into his mouth, licking the taste of Andy from it while he made eye contact. That dissolved Andy into another helpless groan, covering his face with his hands and Joe could tell that he was blushing. He tasted the same, more or less. There was a lot more of it, but he tasted the same as when Joe normally went down on him.

“You love me,” Joe pointed out, not protesting when Andy was suddenly wearing his shirt from earlier and it went down to his thighs instead of looking like a normal human being. “A lot. And because I want to eat you out. A lot.”

“Dickhole,” Andy said through a sigh, throwing some sweats on the ground at Joe. “Now get your ass up."

Joe moved to tug on the sweats, thankfully black but it was still obvious that it was boner city for him. Andy looked fond, if nothing else, kissing him once more before they were exiting the back.

Sure enough, Hayley was there, sitting on the counter while Pete and Patrick were on the couch. She let out a low whistle when she saw Andy, grinning widely. “Hello beautiful,” she greeted, looking Joe over once before rolling her eyes. “And beast. So, you’ve got lady bits because Joe has no foresight?”

“I have foresight, okay,” Joe defended weakly, sitting on the couch with his arms stretched over the back. Andy settled down too, knees to his chest but leaning against Joe.

“Apparently,” Andy actually answered, rubbing a hand along his neck. “And I have no idea what we’re going to do. We met this older woman who said the one that.. cursed, maybe, I’m not quite sure what the right verb here is… but she’s gone. And without Joe learning his big Disney moral lesson, I could be this way for a year.”

Hayley shrugged, nonplussed. “Being a girl isn’t so bad. I rather enjoy it.”

“Be that as it may,” Patrick began, looking between them. “As it is, we can’t have Andy play with us. And the next show is in two days.”

“You could still play shirtless,” Pete offered through a grin. “It’ll look a little different, but I’m sure it’ll be awesome.”

“Pete, I swear to god--” Joe started, only to be cut off by Andy saying, “I really can’t play, though.”

There was a sadness in his voice that made Joe’s insides twist and his every instinct to make it okay. But he couldn’t. The group fell quiet, solemn, because if Andy was stuck like this for a year, then he couldn’t play with them. They couldn’t even pass him off as someone else because of all of his tattoos. And there really was no feasible explanation for what had happened.

“I might not be able to play for a year,” Andy said again, sounding just as upset.

“Well, hey now,” Patrick started, and Joe thanked god that Patrick was excellent at soothing. “We can figure something out. We can get a temp for the next show, you know Max would do it. And then… well, we can figure it out. I promise.”

“Yeah, dude,” Pete said, nodding along. “We’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it.”

Andy didn’t look that consoled, but he nodded as Joe kissed his temple warmly and rubbed a hand up his back. Slow, soft caresses that he was used to but felt so much more different now that Andy wasn’t in a man’s body.

“How about we get you some clothes,” Hayley offered, jumping down from the counter and walking over to hold her hands out to Andy. “We can get you some stuff that fits, and maybe a bra or two, because your back will definitely start to hurt if you don’t get some support.”

Andy took her hands, letting him haul her up, Hayley wrapping him up in a hug and whispering something when they were close. Joe watched like a hawk, getting up to go find a shirt, before Hayley was pushing him back down.

“Nu-uh, no boys allowed,” she said, Andy giving a small smile before disappearing back towards the bunks. Joe watched him, brows furrowed, before looking up to Hayley.

“Andy’s a boy,” Joe pointed out.

“No boys with dicks,” she corrected, coming to sit down next to Joe and pat his leg gently. “I’ll talk to him, it’ll be okay. I’m sure he’s just freaked out and you all kinda keep staring at him like you’re going to eat him, Pete.”

“I’m getting better,” Pete defended immediately, motioning towards where Andy had disappeared to. “It’s just weird, okay? He’s really hot and he was shirtless and my dick is confused.”

“It’s Andy,” Hayley said, exasperated. “He’s your best friend. You’ve known him for entirely too long. All that’s changed is the packaging.”

“Hot wrapping paper,” Pete mumbled, rubbing his hands over his face. “It’ll be okay. It’s just new.”

“Yeah,” Joe said, nodding his head a little. “Things will be better once he gets comfortable and we can all just… focus.”

“Boys,” Hayley shook her head with the word, like she’d said flesh eating parasites. “Maybe you guys do need to learn a thing or two about respecting women. Except Patrick.”

Patrick grinned widely at her, offering a salute, while Pete just gaped wide-eyed between them. “Patrick stared at his tits too!”

“No he didn’t,” Joe pointed out. “He just said that Andy was hot. Which he is.”

“Thanks, Joe,” Patrick said, smiling faintly. “Anyway, it’s Andy, guys. I know he looks different, but it’s still him. And he’s in a committed relationship.”

“That’s right, Wentz,” Joe said, scratching over his stomach lazily. “You leave my super hot, androgynous boyfriend alone.”

“I feel like I’m in 2006 right now and Ryan Ross is running around,” Hayley said, coming to stand once Andy reappeared again. “Come on, sailor. Let’s go get some essentials, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Andy echoed, looking at Patrick and Pete before to Joe. He leaned over, a hand against Joe’s shoulder, to kiss him softly, push their noses together in a brief affection. “You want me to get anything specific?”

It was both touching and made Joe feel like a douche that Andy would ask him what he wanted to see Andy in. It made him feel like even more of a douche that he could think of several hundreds things to say earnestly. Joe wanted to see Andy in anything and everything.

“Anything you want, babe,” Joe answered instead, reaching out to squeeze Andy’s hip before kissing him back softly. “Anything you’re comfortable with.”

“Thirty-four new pairs of sweatpants it is,” Hayley piped in, looping her arm through Andy’s in order to drag him away. “I’ll take good care of him, don’t worry!”

“Please do,” Pete said, sounding genuine. “We love him. We love you!” Pete said a little louder, since Andy was already out the door.

“We love you,” Joe echoed, letting out a sigh and rubbed his hands over his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time today.


It was Pete and Patrick’s night to use the back room, so Joe grabbed their sheets and rolled them into a ball before heading to Andy’s bunk. He could go into his own, potentially, but it was full of his and Andy’s laundry and it would just be exhausting to clean it off before going to sleep because he really needed to get some fucking sleep. So he tossed the sheets in his bunk for tomorrow night, sliding into Andy’s bunk, and passed out.

As much as he loved Hayley, he hated her. Especially when she was poking him in the forehead, over and over again, opening his eyes to see her grinning face.

“Sup,” Joe croaked, stretching his arms over his head with a wide yawn. It clicked to him that if Hayley was there that meant that Andy was back, propping himself up on his elbow and finding his phone to check the time. “Jesus fuck, did you murder him? It’s been five hours.”

“We got dinner,” Hayley said, checking her nails nonchalantly before she was grinning again. “Do you wanna see him?”

Despite being perpetually hungover and a little cranky, Joe was immediately out of the bunk, hiking up the sweatpants that had fallen down a little too low.

“You’re gross,” Hayley said, using her foot against Joe’s ass to shove him.

“My asscrack is a gift,” Joe offered, tying them a little tighter as he went. “You’re welcome.”

Joe’s eagerness betrayed him, ending up in the front of the bus and staring at Andy, who was sitting across from Pete while Patrick was in the kitchenette. He looked… like Andy. A pair of dark skinny jeans that fit him beautifully, tight like the pants that Pete used to wear, and a black tanktop. Andy was definitely wearing a bra now, just a hint of cleavage that made Joe want to bury his face there. He definitely looked more comfortable, looking away from Pete to meet Joe’s eyes, grinning widely. And it looked like he was even wearing some makeup, a little bit of eyeliner, maybe something that made his eyelashes a little longer.

“Hi,” Andy said, making Joe move for the first time. He pushed some bags aside in order to practically tackle Andy, wrapping arms and legs around him, kissing all over his face.

Andy tried to kiss him back through his laughter, getting a hand out from being trapped between them and wrapping it around Joe’s back. It was so odd, having Andy smaller than he was used to. Shorter in inches and just in size, that Joe could completely overtake him now.

“Hi, you look beautiful,” Joe said, another kiss to Andy’s temple before he was sitting up like an actual person, looking at the bags. There were only three, which made sense because it was Andy, but Joe’s eyes settled on the familiar pink one behind one that had two shoe boxes. And then his brain kinda melted a little.

“You didn’t,” was Joe’s first response, pushing the shoe bag away and yep, that was definitely a Victoria’s Secret bag. “You definitely did, oh god.”

Andy gave a nonchalant shrug. “When in Rome, dude. I’m stacked.”

“It’s a little unfair,” Hayley said through a sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “He gets boobs and they’re infinitely nicer than mine.”

Joe narrowed his eyes. “You saw them?”

“Everyone on the bus had already seen them,” Andy said, pointedly staring at Pete. Pete just grinned, holding up his hands helplessly.

Joe let that one slide, poking through another bag that seemed to have clothes in it. Maybe another two pairs of jeans, some black tanktops and v-necks. Definitely Andy shopping. He didn’t want to look inside the Victoria’s Secret bag yet, mostly because there were still people in the room (Pete) and he didn’t want to add to any spank bank fantasies (Pete).

“I got him in a dress,” Hayley offered, winking at Joe before grinning. “Absolutely stunning.”

“He always is,” Joe said, more absently than anything, looking up a little surprised when Andy pressed a kiss to the curve of his neck.

“Gross. Well, I’m out. We’re hittin’ the road again soon and I sure as shit don’t want to be on this bus.” Hayley bid them farewell, leaning over to kiss Andy’s cheek and whisper something else that Joe didn’t catch but immediately made him suspicious.

“Send the boys our love,” Patrick said absently, headphones around his neck and laptop propped open on his thighs. Pete saluted her goodbye, head against Patrick’s shoulder to watch whatever they were watching, sharing earbuds now.

Hayley gone and Patrick and Pete occupied, Joe could turn his attention to Andy. He cupped his jaw, turning his face this way and that, kissing the curve of his cheek to smile against it. So strange to not feel the stubble there, nothing but smooth skin.

“How are you doing?” Joe asked, voice low but serious. He could still see the pained look in Andy’s eye when he realized he couldn’t drum with them, or the panic when the woman at that weird hippie store told them there was nothing she could do. “You look calmer.”

“Yeah,” Andy agreed, smoothing a hand back through Joe’s hair. “Hayley helped a lot. I’m okay. I’m not happy about it, but I think I’ll be okay.”

“No one’s happy about it,” Joe pointed out, stroking his fingers back through Andy’s hair. It was maybe a little longer, come to think of it, the sides of his head shaven neatly. “I’m going to work on fixing this, I promise.”

“I know,” Andy soothed, kissing Joe once and standing. “I brought my leftovers for you if you want. I’m going to go put away this stuff. Do you know my feet shrank?” Andy lifted a foot, showing off the new pair of combat boots he was wearing. “I’m so small now.”

“Yeah,” Joe said, catching Andy’s foot to make him hop a bit, laugh out. “But it’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Andy agreed, scooping up his bags before smiling at Joe. “It’ll be okay. Food’s on the counter, feel free to feast. And I’m shoving these in your bunk with the rest of our shit.”

“My bunk is yours to shove, dear.” It felt okay, then, looking over his shoulder and seeing Andy smile at him before disappearing back to the bunks. Having Patrick and Pete pressing close, watching something, with Pete’s attention mostly on Patrick’s reactions to it. Standing in the middle of their kitchenette in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, eating some dahl and papadums, he felt kinda okay for the first time that day. Probably because it was his first meal of the day, but still.

“Do you guys want the back tonight?” Patrick offered, tugging his headphones off while Pete shut the laptop and grabbed it. “You guys can have it, you know.”

“Nah, thanks though,” Joe said through a mouthful of food, oddly touched. “Now that Andy’s tiny it’ll be even easier to squeeze into his bunk.”

“Okay, we’re going to head back then,” he said, motioning in the general direction of the back lounge. “If anything happens…”

Joe waved him off with the fork, shaking his head no. What else could happen? He hadn’t knowingly disrespected anything else, like pigs or something, so he didn’t think Andy was going to turn into something other than how he was stuck right now. If he did, Joe was going to be either really impressed or really pissed.

Dinner finished, he was just about ready to go to bed again. It was just shy of nine, but he was exhausted from mostly the emotional exertion than anything else. That, and he was definitely hungover still. He could probably convince Andy to snuggle up and watch a movie no problem.

Walking into the bunks, Joe was suddenly faced with his shirtless boyfriend wiggling out of a pair of jeans, and that was definitely not something that he was prepared for. There was a lot of movement, a lot of hip swaying, and when Andy squirmed to face him, Joe managed a smile that felt a little too tight.

“I’ll never get how girls do this,” Andy said, sitting at the edge of his bunk and sticking his legs out. “Help me and I’ll let you feel me up.”

“Sold,” Joe agreed, coming over and lifting Andy’s legs enough to get between them. There was the barely there peek of black lace underwear, matching the bra, and that was almost enough to have Joe call it quits and tackle Andy with his damn jeans around his thighs. Instead, Joe took one leg at a time, inching the material down until he could throw the jeans into his bunk, grabbing Andy by the thighs and tugging him closer a little roughly.

Andy didn’t seemed to mind, on his back half-inside the bunk, wrapping his legs around Joe’s waist. “Still remember how to take off a bra?” Andy asked, the cheeky little shit, sprawled out and beautiful as always.

“Just let me look at you,” Joe found himself saying, wanting to take it in. He needed to relearn this body, but it was still Andy. He still knew every tattoo, every inch of pale skin. That scar on the inside of his elbow from Joe swinging his guitar at practice one time. The notch of skin missing on his shoulder from the car accident years and years ago. The black against Andy’s skin was too good, even better when Joe worked a hand behind his back in order to unclasp the bra.

There were red marks on Andy’s shoulder, touching them lightly with his fingers before leaning down to kiss them. “You wanna snuggle and watch a movie?” Joe asked while he was close to Andy’s ear, close enough that Andy could turn his head and kiss him easily enough.

“Yeah,” Andy breathed against his mouth, making Joe smile. “Grab me a shirt though? I’m going to punch Pete in the dick if he stares at my tits again.”

“I support you wholeheartedly,” Joe said, inching out of the bunk so he didn’t smack his head and reaching into their laundry. The shirt he grabbed was actually his own, a Black Sabbath t-shirt with holes around the armpits and the hem. It was too big on Andy, flipping something possessive in Joe’s stomach, because usually they could swap clothing with no problem but now Andy was tiny, tinier than Patrick, and it was hot.

They used Andy’s iPad since it had the better graphics card, Joe climbing in once Andy was situated. It was easier to do now that they weren’t two fully grown men trying to squash into a bunk. They still did, when it was Pete and Patrick’s night to have the backroom, because as much as sleeping pressed against someone during the summer was a little uncomfortable, so was sleeping without someone that you’d shared a bed with for almost three years consecutively. He had no idea how Pete and Patrick managed while Patrick was on tour.

Andy settled on Howl’s Moving Castle from a torrent site, resting the iPad against the wall while Joe curled around him. Andy pillowed his head on Joe’s bicep, pressed together from head to toe in a way that Joe knew would have them sweaty and sticky in the morning, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t, because Andy was okay, snuggled against him, and things would be fine. They would be fine.

They could live like this, he thought, kissing the curve of Andy’s shoulder while Andy traced those lazy patterns over his forearm that he knew Joe loved.


A day passed, and then two, with no change. Andy was still a little strange, sleeping a lot and going for long runs when he could, but that was probably normal when you spontaneously changed gender like he had. Joe tried to give him the space that he needed, because sometimes that just happened. Andy got into his head, needed time alone, and that was fine. That was part of a relationship, really. Pete apologized and restored Andy’s eye level, and Joe felt… well. Okay. Things weren’t normal, but they were okay. He spent a lot of time on the internet, reading feminist literature, trying to figure out what the fuck he was going to do in order to get his boyfriend’s dick back.

(“Maybe you should, I don’t know, woo him,” Jeremy offered, the two of them lazily sharing a bowl. “Buy him flowers and shit.”

“It’s still Andy,” Joe said through a sigh. “He likes flowers to stay in the ground. Maybe I’ll buy him a new crash cym. “)

As it turned out, Max really was more than willing to come help out with drums for the show. Andy was all bundled up in the middle of the summer heat, hoodie zipped up and hood on to make sure no one recognized him when he snuck backstage. It was probably a good sign that Max didn't even recognize him, so they left it at that instead of trying to explain.

Pete told the crowd that Andy was sick, needed some time off, because it wasn’t anything life threatening but he needed to recover. Joe told them that he missed them all and sent them his love. It was a little touching, just how sad people seemed to be. Andy would have appreciated it, Joe knew, forever a little insecure at his place in the band and the attention from the fans.

Their show felt weird, because Joe was so used to turning around and see Andy grinning at him, or just banging the shit out of the drums. Max was a little calmer, needed to focus more, because their music wasn’t like breathing to him. It wasn’t second nature, because they weren’t his rhythms. They were Andy’s. Built for Andy’s capabilities and strengths, and introducing another drummer was difficult.

But nothing was as difficult as returning to the dressing room and seeing Andy slumped on the couch and scrolling through his phone listlessly. There was usually a positive energy after the show, but they all felt a little defeated, and seeing Andy sitting there by himself was a nail to the coffin.

“We gotta figure out a way to get you to play,” Pete said, sitting next to Andy and wrapping both his arms around him.

“We really do,” Andy said, all of them vehemently trying to ignore the way his voice cracked.

“I got it!” Hayley said randomly later that night, all of them piled into the Fall Out Boy bus for a rousing game a Uno that resulted in Joe being called a dirty fucker more times in one hour than his entire life. “Why don’t we just cover the tattoos?”

Pete and Patrick paused, considering, looking to Andy. Joe looked, as well, because were the tattoos really the problem? Also. “How are we going to cover his entire body?” Joe asked, motioning to Andy’s arms and neck and legs, all visible since he was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tanktop. “Literally, his entire body. I’ve seen it.”

“A, gross. I didn’t need to know that,” Hayley started, ticking off her fingers. “B, we just need to cover the parts that people will see. So his neck, chest, and arms.”

“But he still looks like Andy,” Aaron pointed out, placing a draw four card and Joe just really, really wanted to strangle him. “So… that’s going to be weird.”

“We can do something about that,” Hayley said, nodding slightly. “If we take him out of jeans, combat boots, and black t’s and shove him in dresses, that’ll definitely be a start. Makeup can literally change his bone structure.”

Andy hummed out, placing down a red three. Safe territory. “That’s true. I saw a video online about it once. It was with a drag queen, though.”

“Drag queens are people too,” Patrick murmured, placing down a green three on top of it, laughing when Pete shoved him over. “But yeah, maybe we should look into that?”

The next day, Hayley came at them with her iPad and a youtube video. “I think I found our solution,” she said, sitting right between him and Andy, wiggling a little to make enough room for herself before hitting play.

It didn’t seem like much at first, just a man sitting there, staring at the camera. He had some pretty rad facial piercings, but that was probably the extent of it. Then he was taking off his shirt and, okay, well. Joe wasn’t really attracted to dudes outside of Andy, but he guessed he was good looking, all things considered. But then the guy was reaching forward, grabbing something round and showing it to the camera. He started rubbing in aggressive circles at his chest and oh, oh. It was makeup. The dude was literally covered in tattoos and they were concealed flawlessly by this makeup.

“Order some,” Joe said immediately, looking over to see Andy grinning at him. “Order some right now.”

“I’ve got a friend,” Hayley said, shrugging slightly. “She does makeup. Agreed to come out and help out with covering the tats.”

“We’ll pay her really well,” Joe promised, unable to stop grinning because yes, this was excellent. “When can she get out here?”

“With the stuff? Tomorrow. She’s pretty chill,” another shrug before Hayley was jumping down, motioning with her head. “How about we go get you some fancy clothes, pretty lady? Preferably in my size so I can steal them later.”

Andy laughed, sliding off of the amps as well. “Yeah, sure, okay,” he agreed easily, turning to kiss Joe. “I’ll be back later? Try and do some more feminist soul searching.”

“It’s all I do anymore,” Joe answered seriously, catching Andy’s chin and pulling him in for another kiss. “Enjoy buying some cute, girly clothes.”

Andy wrinkled his nose, flipped Joe off, before he and Hayley were off again and Joe let himself stare at Andy’s ass, shameless.

Without Andy around, Joe found Jeremy to smoke up with, sitting on top of the bus in the afternoon sunshine. They had a show tonight, but hopefully it would be the last that Andy had to miss. With their plan in action, it was easier to breathe, to think that maybe things would be okay.

“What’s it like?” Jeremy asked, both of them shirtless and laying on the warm metal of the roof. “Having a girlfriend?”

“He’s not really my girlfriend,” Joe said, rubbing a hand over his stomach lazily. “He’s my boyfriend still. He just, you know, has a vagina now. And great tits.”

Jeremy nodded, maybe in agreement but probably just acknowledging. “You know, it’s really cool that you’re like this,” he said, hand motioning over to Joe. “That you’re so chill and you love him for who he is.”

Joe laughed, rubbing a hand through his hair, stretching his arms up above his head. “He’s Andy, you know? I’ve known him since I was seventeen. We’ve been together for just about five years. If I wasn’t in it for him, then I wouldn’t be here.”

“Still,” Jeremy said, rolling over onto his stomach now. “It’s still pretty cool.”

Joe barked out a laugh. “Thanks. We all know cool was what I was shooting for.”

After smoking and sunbathing, he didn’t really know what to do with himself. Normally he’d bug Andy, or help set up, but it wasn’t nearly close to showtime yet and Andy was off getting dresses. There was Pete or Patrick, maybe, they were always good for maybe a movie if Patrick was up. Or jamming. So he headed towards the bus, taking one step on before hearing a moan, and yeah. He wasn’t about that right now. He loved Pete and Patrick, but it’d been about two weeks since he’d last gotten off by something other than his own hand and he just couldn’t handle it right now.

So he took a walk. It was a little risky on a show day, but Joe didn’t mind seeing some fans. He went about five minutes before there was a group of girls, calling his name, waving at him, and he waved back. Signed some autographs, talked for a little, because he did genuinely love the fans. They were usually polite, usually just wanted to talk and hang out because while Joe had met thousands of fans, they had only ever met him once. It was important to him to make that worth it.

Signing autographs was always weird, still, just because he didn’t think it was worth much.

“We, um, made something for Andy,” one of the girls said, Michelle. It was just a card in an envelope it looked like, but Joe still smiled, took it from them and rubbed his thumb over Andy’s name fondly.

“Thanks, ladies,” Joe murmured, tucking it into his back pocket and nodding. “I’ll make sure he gets it, don’t worry.”

By the time he got back, Hayley was back so that meant Andy was there, too. She caught his eye, ambling over to him with her hands clasped at the small of her back and a grin on her face.

“How’d it go?” Joe asked, wrapping his arms around her when she came in for a hug.

“Good,” she reported, stepping back and resting her hands on her hips. “Got him lots of nice things. Sarah’s on a plane here now, so she’ll be here at night. Said she could crash with me.”

“You’re my favorite,” Joe said, cupping the back of her head and kissing her forehead lightly, murmuring against it, “No matter how high Jeremy gets me.”

Hayley laughed quietly. “Wow, that’s something else. But you should probably go see your boyfriend.”

“Right,” Joe agreed, booping her nose lightly before he was moving on. A few large steps had him at the bus, opening the door and easing up just incase there was a round two going on. No noise was good noise, walking up the steps and finding Patrick on his laptop, shirtless in a pair of basketball shorts that were Pete’s.

“D’you walk in early?” Patrick asked without looking up from his laptop, making Joe pushed his hat down over his eyes as he walked by.

“You still moan like an angel, P Steezy,” Joe said, ignoring the way Patrick flipped him off, heading back towards the bunks.

“He’s in the back room,” Patrick called out.

Joe didn’t bother to knock, just opening the door to find Andy there, facing away from him. He was definitely in a dress, white and flowy that hit about his mid thigh. It looked like cotton, thick white straps that hid his bra, tight around the chest and waist before going all flowy and god was he lucky.

He let his fingertips trail over the curve of Andy’s shoulder, bending down to kiss the opposite shoulder softly. Andy made a quiet sort of noise, leaning back against his chest, and Joe wrapped his arms around his waist securely.

“I take it dress shopping went well,” Joe murmured, looking down the front. The neckline dipped a little, looked sorta liked a heart, with a couple buttons down the middle. It was flattering, pretty, and judging by the fact that there were six more bags of clothes, he and Hayley were definitely the same size.

“It did,” Andy answered, tucking his face into Joe’s neck. “You wanna help me take it off?”

“Yes,” Joe answered quickly, too quickly, Andy laughing at him. “Yes, absolutely.”

There was a zipper in the back, Joe’s fingers feeling too big, too clumsy, for a second. He lowered it slowly, watching the colorful face appear on Andy’s back, obscured only by the clasp of his bra. Joe took his time, lowering the zipper all the way, gently brushing the strap of the dress off of one shoulder before the other. It just fell to the ground after that, finding Andy wearing the same black bra from yesterday but with a pair of white panties this time.

“Thanks,” Andy began, Joe humming out in acknowledgement before kissing the top of Andy’s spine. “For being patient, I mean. I know you--”

“Don’t,” Joe said, nose nuzzling the nape of Andy’s neck. “Don’t thank me for being a decent human being. You were freaking out, okay? I wasn’t going to jump you.”

“I know, I know,” Andy soothed, turning around in Joe’s arms. “But, you’re. You’re great, you know. And I do want to fuck, believe me. I didn’t know girls were always this fucking horny. But…” He trailed off, leaning up to kiss the side of Joe’s mouth.

Joe returned it, softly. “I get it, really. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Exactly,” Andy breathed out, sounding a little relieved. “Just… let me get comfortable with this body and then I swear you can do whatever you want for as long as you want.”

Joe smiled, fond, cupping Andy’s jaw for a slower sort of kiss. Chaste, still, just lips against lips. Andy hummed into it, slipping his hands up the back of Joe’s shirt, leaning into the kiss and this was good. Joe was far more concerned with Andy than his dick. He had a hand if it was necessary to get off.

“You should take the back room to yourself tonight,” Joe said as he pulled back, rubbing his thumb against Andy’s bottom lip. “So you can get some time to yourself without someone hovering over you.”

Andy looked tentative, eyeing Joe. “Are you sure?” he asked, and Joe nodded, because he was. He wanted Andy comfortable. It was hard to properly freak out when there was always someone around, especially when it was three other dudes. Hayley helped, but beyond her, this really was a male dominated tour. He needed time by himself, which was understandable.

“I miss you,” Andy murmured into Joe’s mouth, arms winding around his waist, sneaking down into the back pockets of his jeans to squeeze his ass. Andy pulled a face, grabbing something and taking it out of Joe’s back pocket. “What’s this?”

“Oh!” Joe remembered, looking down at the card. “I went for a walk and hung out with some fans. They gave me that to give to you.”

Andy opened his mouth, brows furrowing, before tearing into the envelope. Inside was just a single card, made with some construction paper, a get well soon with a little letter about how much Fall Out Boy meant to them and how he was their favorite member.

“Wow,” Andy murmured, touching the card lightly. “That was really nice of them.”

“Yo guys! Time to start getting ready,” Pete called through the door, startling them both a little. Andy still looked a little touch, placing the card down on the side table there, smiling lightly.

“Sarah’s supposed to get here tonight, so this will be the last show you have to miss,” Joe pointed out, grabbing a pair of too-skinny jeans and tossing them to Andy. He caught them effortlessly, sitting at the edge of the bed to start to tug them on. “It’s going to be weird to see you without tattoos.”

“Weirder than seeing me with tits?” Andy asked through a laugh, standing up to jump and wiggle his way into the jeans.

Joe watched fondly, leaning back against the door with his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, yeah. You still look like you right now, more or less. You without tattoos would just be… weird.”

“Softy,” Andy accused, grabbing a tank top before one of Joe’s ratty hoodies and tugging it on. He pressed against Joe, pressing him into the door, leaning up to wind his fingers through his hair and kiss him. There was a little more tongue to this one, some subdued heat, and Joe really hated the idea of not being able to wrap around Andy at night but it would be okay. He would give Andy as much space as he needed. Besides, kissing was wonderful. Andy was still Andy, his lips a little fuller but he still tasted the same, still let out the same sort of breathless noise when Joe scraped his nails up his spine.

“Guys!” it was Patrick this time, right outside the door, making Andy jump and laugh.

“Okay, okay, let’s go,” Andy murmured, kissing Joe one last time before reaching around him. Joe backed off the door enough to let Andy open it up, Joe holding it open for him to go through.


The show went well enough, still strange, but there wasn’t the heavy burden of uncertainty in his chest. They told Max that they’d have a new temp tomorrow, since he had a family to get back to, and thanked him to the moon and back. Afterwards, when the show was done and over with, Andy didn’t look nearly as upset as he had after the previous show. In fact, Joe got a kiss right out the gate, Andy pressing against him despite sweating like a hog.

“You guys sounded great,” Andy murmured between kisses, pushing back some of Joe’s hair from his sweaty forehead. “I never get to just watch you play.”

“Oh, um,” Joe began, a little blindsided. “Thanks, babe. It’s not the same without you.”

Patrick and Pete sent them a little sidelong look, Pete smirking. “Yeah, he’s really hot, isn’t he?”

“You, shut up,” Andy pointed a finger at Pete, then one at Patrick. “You, make sure he does. And you,” this time it was Joe, Andy’s fingers hooking into his belt loops to tug him a little, “You come with me.”

Joe was still a little stunned, letting himself get tugged, shooting Pete and Patrick a worried look only to get a thumbs up. Andy pushed his hood up so he wouldn’t get recognized, taking Joe’s hand instead to lead him by that. And then there was a door, and darkness, and then Joe finally fucking got it.

“Jesus fuck, Andy,” Joe whispered harshly, sucking in a breath once he felt Andy get to his knees. Joe reached out for the door handle, finding the sliver of a lock and twisting it, making sure they wouldn’t get interrupted. “This is unexpected.”

“Are you saying no to a blowjob in a dirty closet?” Andy asked, sounding amused, fingers already tugging Joe’s jeans open and bringing them to his thighs with his underwear. He was sweaty and unshowered, could only imagine how rank he smelt, but Andy either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He just pressed his face against the side of Joe’s cock, right against his pubic hair, nuzzling and flicking his tongue out to lick the base.

“I’m not, I’m not, oh fuck,” Joe bit out, hands immediately going to Andy’s head to push his hood off and bury his fingers in his hair. It was longer, Joe able to get a good grip on it, tugging a little harder and getting Andy to hiss out and buck.

Joe had made plans with himself. He would let Andy have the back tonight, have some alone time, not bother him or text him at all. Joe would sleep in his own bunk after cleaning out all the clothes, jerk off quietly to the thousands of thoughts in his spank bank, both real and imagined, all involving Andy. He would get a decent night’s sleep, maybe wake up early, go for a walk, and trying and figure out what he was going to do about changing Andy back.

Instead, he was fucking into Andy’s mouth with vigor, and in the dark he couldn’t tell if Andy had tits or not, he was just Andy, and Joe missed this. The simplicity of being with him, before shit got so complicated. He missed being able to touch in the ways he’d done so for years, hated that his confidence was hurt by this. He hated that Andy was upset about it, uncomfortable in his own body. But the smooth slide of Andy’s throat around his cock, pressing him down, down, until Andy was making these delicious little noises with his lips wrapped around the base of his cock, that was familiar. Effortless.

“Andy, god, I miss you,” Joe gasped out, hating the emotion in his voice. He let Andy pull off, jerk him with a steady hand, dappling kisses over Joe’s hips and thighs. He dragged his tongue up the crease of his thigh, panted wet against his skin, and if it was before, Joe knew that Andy would be jerking himself off too, getting off to sucking Joe. “Baby, please--”

When Andy took him down again, Joe knew that it was all over. It curled his toes and made him arch, tossing his head back and hitting the wall with a loud thunk. He didn’t even register it, couldn’t focus on anything aside from the perfect suction of Andy’s mouth, milking him through his orgasm, touching him just shy of too hard that Joe liked. Andy might not be as strong as he was, but he could still rake his nails from Joe’s stomach to his thighs, leave marks that would last for days, pull off once he’d swallowed everything down and suck a hickey onto Joe’s hip.

It was hard to think, sitting there while his mind spun and his thighs trembled from keeping his body weight up. Andy licked a long line from the base of his cock up to his stomach, pushing Joe’s shirt up as he went, until Joe had to grab him by the bicep and drag him up roughly for a hard kiss. Biting, pushing his tongue into Andy’s mouth to taste himself there, rolling them to pin Andy against the wall to return the favor but--

“Do you want me to--” Joe began, because he needed to ask.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Andy cut him off. “That was for you. I forget how hot you are sometimes.”

“Wow, hey, thanks,” Joe said between kisses, working his hand up under Andy’s shirt, keeping his hands to the line of his back. The cool down was always the best, pressing close to one another, Joe’s heartbeat returning to normal with Andy pressing kisses all along his throat. Andy even tugged up his pants for him, redid the zip and his belt, which Joe was glad for because his motor skills were not the best.

Joe let out a whine when Andy pulled away, pushing at Joe’s shoulder, coming back to grin against his cheek but other than that, they needed to get going. Andy laced their fingers together, though, tugging Joe out of the closet and using his free hand to put his hood up again. Joe was still a little wobbly, swaying from side to side as they went, finding their way back to the dressing room.

Andy was smart enough to knock before entering, getting a quiet come in before opening the door. Patrick and Pete were just sitting on the couch, Pete’s head in Patrick’s lap. Pete gave him a thumbs up, which Joe returned, lifting Pete’s legs and slumping down onto the couch next to Patrick, placing Pete’s legs in his lap.

“You know we can’t sleep here,” Andy said, hopping to sit on the vanity table, crossing his legs and watching them with a smile.

Pete whined, high in his throat, turning and pressing his face into Patrick’s crotch. Patrick hissed a little, jumped with a, “shit Pete get out of there!” that had them all laughing.

Joe caught Andy’s eye, sleepy and sated, something in his chest unwinding further that they were going to be okay, probably.


Things sort of fell into place when Sarah arrived. Maybe.

“Which one am I covering?” she asked in lieu of a greeting, looking to the four of them with a hawk’s eye.

She was, Joe thought, the type of woman that both terrified and excited him. Half of her head was shaven, the rest of her hair long and blonde, falling in curls past her shoulders. She had a septum piercing, heavy eye makeup, and the same combat boots, jeans, and tanktop uniform that Andy had first worn, yet she seemed to wear it like a battle suit.

Joe looked over at Pete, staring a little wide eyed, and yeah. Same.

Andy raised his hand, smiling at her warmly. “Yeah, it’s me,” he said, making Sarah smile slowly. Predatorial. “Lucky you, right?”

“Definitely,” Sarah said, and Joe wanted to stand, get between her and Andy, because he definitely didn’t like the look she was giving him. “Can you take your shirt off?”

“Maybe in the back?” Joe offered, voice a little high with panic.

Sarah looked at him once before back to Andy. “Boyfriend?”

“Five years,” Andy answered fondly.

Andy motioned to the back room, Joe following him first with Sarah trailing behind. Joe sat on the bed immediately, hands between his knees, thinking about how Andy had spent the entire night alone here last night. With the door shut, Andy turned to Joe to work the zipper of his dress--another soft, cotton thing that was floral this time.

“All these rad tattoos and you want to cover them up?” Sarah asked, crossing her arms over her chest while Joe pushed the straps of the dress down, only unzipping it enough to bare Andy from the waist up. He smoothed his hands over Andy’s back, smiling lightly when Andy looked over his shoulder to him.

“Yeah, just for a little,” Andy said, grinning over to Sarah. “I lost a bet.”

“All the same to me,” Sarah said with a shrug, coming over and touching Andy’s shoulder, the base of his throat. “You’ve got great skin, so it shouldn’t be much of an issue. The dermablend shit isn’t going to go anywhere when it’s on without the special soap.”

“That’s a relief,” Andy said, nodding his head. “Yeah, let’s do it now then.” He turned to Joe, standing between his legs and cupping the back of his head. “You want to stay or you wanna be surprised?”

Joe rested his hand against Andy’s hips, fingers splayed, looking up to him with a slow smile. “How about a surprise?” What Joe really wanted to do was sit and stay and sulk, watch Sarah touch Andy so freely. But he couldn’t.

Andy’s kiss was sweet, soft, standing back so that way he could help Joe stand. “No touching below the belt,” Joe warned Sarah, trying for light hearted because he really didn’t know her.

“Not unless she asks me to,” Sarah said with a wink, shutting the door behind Joe.

Hayley was there again, wedged next to Patrick on the couch. “She’s nice, right?”

“If she touches Andy, I’ll murder her,” Joe said, sitting down heavily on the opposite side, scrubbing his hands over his face.

Pete grinned around a sub, coming to sit next to Joe and offer him the other half. He took it, because why the hell not. He maybe had a long time to wait, because he wasn’t quite sure how long it would take to get Andy covered.

“I think she has a girlfriend,” Hayley offered, not sounding alarmed. “Don’t worry, caveman. No one’s going to touch your hot boyfriend.”

Joe grumbled around a mouthful of sandwich, not convinced, but it was something he’d get over. No one seemed to want Andy in this undeniable sort of lust way before, when he didn’t have tits. It was just Joe and some fans, really. Now, it was just… weird, everyone telling him how attractive Andy was like Joe didn’t know he was the luckiest dude in the world.

In the end, it took about forty minutes to get Andy completely covered. Sarah left the room first, grinning wide, looking a little sweaty but proud.

“She looks great,” Sarah said, coming to lean against the counter. “It’s a shame to cover the tattoos, but you’d never be able to tell.”

“Let’s see it!” Patrick said, sitting up from his slouch.

It was weirder than seeing Andy with tits. The person that left the back room wasn’t even Andy. It was a younger looking girl with creamy skin, dark blue eyes, and her short-cropped hair brushed back but voluminous. She had some natural looking makeup done, with thick brows, light pink cheeks and long lashes. She was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, standing there in her dress with her arms dangling awkwardly by her side, but she wasn’t Andy.

“Holy fuck,” Pete said first, looking from Andy to Sarah, back again. “What did you do?”

“Covered her tats and did some face makeup,” Sarah said with a shrug, like she hadn’t just turned Joe’s rocker boyfriend into a… a… sweetheart. “Thought we were going for a girl next door thing, so I did what I could since she had a badass cut.”

“Does it look… different?” Andy asked, holding the hem of his dress out a little, giving a spin. It was all creamy skin, pale and beautiful and unmarred. Joe couldn’t even see the hint of tattoos, even on his back and chest. And it looked natural, too, like a needle had never touched the skin.

“Are you kidding me?” Hayley asked through a laugh, clapping a little. “You look phenomenal!”

“Seriously, Andy, it’s a complete 180,” Patrick said, resting his chin on his fist.

Joe realized he hadn’t said anything when everyone in the room looked at him, still a little dazed from the surprise. He couldn’t stop staring at this person that was nothing like he knew, what he’d spent fifteen years of his life with. It felt a little dirty, like cheating, except this was Andy. It was the first time he was actually uncomfortable by Andy spontaneously changing genders, and that clung to his ribs.

“Do you like it?” Andy asked quietly, and Joe knew that he was talking to him. Did he like it? No. He didn’t like any of this.

“You look beautiful, baby,” Joe murmured, reaching a hand out for Andy to take. And he did, letting Joe tug him into his lap. “Am I allowed to touch it?”

“Yeah,” Sarah said with a shrug. “That stuff isn’t going anywhere. Maybe after the show I’ll need to put a little more setting powder, but other than that, touch away.”

So Joe did, smoothing his hand up Andy’s arm, feeling all the soft skin. When he pulled his hand away there was nothing on his fingertips, a little strange, a lot strange. He showed his hand to the rest of them since they’d been watching, leaning in to press a kiss to the side of Andy’s neck.

“We need to think of a name for you,” Hayley pointed out, pressing a finger to her lips in thought. “Since you can’t just be Andy.”

“Yeah,” Patrick agreed, nodding. “Did you ever think about what you’d want to be named if you were a girl?”

“Azalea,” Andy answered immediately, getting a laugh out of them. “What! You’ve thought of it, too.”

“It’s a pretty name,” Sarah said, grinning at Andy, and Joe just wanted to cover Andy up and keep him safe. He settled for smoothing a hand up Andy’s back, rubbing at the nape of his neck warmly.

“Well, this is excellent,” Patrick said with a clap, grinning widely. “Who’s ready to play a show?”


“So, we’ve got another temp player with us tonight,” Pete said into the microphone, listening to the roar of the crowd with a smile. “She’ll be with us until Andy comes back. And because we missed him so much, we made sure that they had the same haircut.” More screaming, some shouts of, “we miss Andy!” audible from the crowd, but it was mostly just white noise. Joe strummed his guitar a little, turning to face Andy, watch him grin and twirl his drumsticks between his fingers.

“Her name is Azalea, but we like to go with Az the badaz,” Pete continued, Patrick smirking over at him. Andy played the drum punchline, making Joe laugh.

“Only Pete calls her that. But seriously, show Azalea some love because she really is a badass!” Patrick continued, clapping his hands, the crowd going wild for Azalea--Andy.

It felt kinda okay again, finally. Joe finally felt okay on stage, with the hard pulse of Andy behind him, playing the parts he knew so well, the heartbeat to their songs. Whenever Joe closed his eyes he could see them just like they were a week ago, strong and sturdy, without having to lie and think of ways out of the mess that Joe had gotten them into. He felt good, confident, and tried not to let that spoil whenever he turned around to see this girl sitting where he was used to Andy sitting.

He really did try.


Andy still skipped out on after show signing, because it really wasn’t worth the risk. The fans gave them all stuff to give to Andy now, feel better soon cards and other little trinkets that they all pocketed with promises to relay. Joe needed a beer, or a stiff drink, promising some of the Paramore crew, Jason, and Nick that he’d be out as soon as he changed, maybe drank some water, and charged his phone up.

What he got instead was Andy texting him to get back to the bus ASAP, which made him worry in a vague sense. Maybe hope a little, too, because Joe had been extra conscientious of the female fans, making sure that no one was bothering them and that they all had a safe ride home and a good time. They all had, which was reassuring, because Joe really did care. Some of their fans were pretty young, and he would hate for anything to happen to them.

Instead, what Joe got when he walked onto the bus was Andy standing in the middle of the bunks, staring him down. It was one part terrifying and two parts unbelievably sexy, because he’d gotten rid of the dress and was wearing matching bra and panties, both pale pink with black lace over it. Also a little surreal, because Joe could see where Sarah had stopped with the makeup, the very tops of Andy’s thighs all the way up to just under his bra filled with color. It relieved Joe a little, reminded him that it was still Andy underneath all of it, after all.

“We gon’ fuck,” was all Andy said, turning around and god damn, he was a lucky man. The face on Andy’s back stared at Joe just like it always did, his brain needing a second to catch up with the request--demand--following Andy through the bus with clumsy feet. He was thankful that Andy left the door open for him because he felt stupid with the permission to touch, not knowing where to start but wanting to maybe try everywhere all at once.

It was Pete and Patrick’s night in the back, but Joe thought they would understand. If not, Joe could probably make them, standing there and watching Andy sprawl out on his back in the middle of the pullout. It would only be better if all of Andy’s tattoos were still there, but that was fine. Joe could work with it. It was still Andy after all.

Joe got his shirt off while he toed at his shoes, Andy just watching him with those amused eyes. His pants came next, kicked off with his underwear, before he was kneeling on the bed and dragging Andy close by the ankles.

“Barbarian,” Andy accused even as he surged up to meet Joe’s kiss, spreading his legs wide to let Joe slip between.

He was used to the feeling of hair under his palms when he would skim his hands up Andy’s legs, meeting nothing but smooth skin. And that wasn’t bad, new, but not bad. He didn’t waste any time, fingers hooking in Andy’s panties, beginning to inch them down, stopping only when Andy placed a hand over his.

“You can keep them on,” Andy murmured, teeth catching on Joe’s bottom lip. “If you want.”

“I’d ruin them,” Joe practically growled out, pulling them down all the way and throwing them aside so he could spread Andy’s legs wide.

Definitely no dick, but a little different. “You shaved,” Joe mumbled, because now he could see everything--Andy’s pretty new pussy, flushed pink against all the paleness of his skin, thick lips and just a hint of clit. And the smell, god, Joe would never get over it, ever.

“I thought you might like it,” Andy said, hands above his head to grip onto the sheets, and Joe wondered if he was blushing under all that makeup. He might be, considering Joe had him spread wide, intently staring at how wet the slit of his cunt was, all the way down to the tight, pink furl of his asshole.

Did Joe like it? He liked anything about Andy. He never cared if Andy shaved or not. Hell, more often than not Andy didn’t bathe. It just never mattered to him, just like it didn’t matter now. The only thing he cared about was Andy being comfortable.

“If you like it and you’re comfortable with it, yes,” Joe breathed out, sliding his hands along Andy’s inner thighs to push them further apart. “If you don’t, then I don’t. It’s your body, babe.”

Andy let out a sigh that sounded more like relief than anything. “Oh thank god because it was a fucking pain,” he whined, resting the flat of his foot against Joe’s back once Joe bent down a little more. “And I think I cut myself.”

“Oh?” Joe hummed out, resting a little further back on his knees so he could get comfortable. “Let me kiss it better.”

There were a few things that Joe missed about being with girls. Tits were number one, because regardless of gender or sexual orientation, literally everyone loved tits, or at least appreciated them. Number two was multiple orgasms, followed closely by number three, which was eating a girl out. Joe loved the mess of it, loved his cheeks getting wet and her thighs squeezing around his head. He loved working a couple of fingers up inside of her and just letting her go, over and over again, relaxing after the last hard crest of one orgasm before diving back in for more. He loved leaving a partner sloppy and sated, thoroughly fucked and sweating.

It was only about a hundred times better that he got to do it to Andy.

Joe started with some light kisses along the crease of Andy’s thigh, up over his mound, nuzzling against his lips to just breathe in. Andy’s thighs were already trembling a little, fingers trying to tug the elastic out of Joe’s hair.

“You’re going to want to leave that in,” Joe pointed out, lifting his head up enough to meet Andy’s eyes over the swell of his breasts. “Believe me.”

Instead of taking it out, Andy just worked it a little looser, so he could slide his fingers into Joe’s hair. Maybe Andy had gotten some nails out of the gender change deal, because the scritching was fantastic and had Joe resting his face against Andy’s stomach, enjoying the sensation. Maybe later, when he was done and Andy was boneless, but now, there was something he’d been wanting to do for almost a week now.

Joe moved his kisses with purpose, over Andy’s inner thighs, against his pussy lips. He was already so flushed, dark pink and absolutely gorgeous. The skin was silky smooth, tasting a little bit like soap when Joe licked a thick stripe up the left lip, then the right, listening to the way Andy’s breathing got shallow. It was anticipation that was always the best, listening as Andy shuffled around, reached out to grab a pillow and tuck it under his head so he could see and just, wow.

It was more mercy to himself than Andy, licking between Andy’s lips, burying his face there to finally taste. It tasted like Andy, just so much more of it, nosing wetly at his clit while he lapped at his pussy lips. It was probably a vain effort, to try and lick Andy clean, but the loud whimper Joe got was enough to keep going, over and over, pulling back only slightly to breath when his lungs started burning.

“Did you do this to yourself?” Joe had to ask, one hand falling from Andy’s thigh in order to spread his pussy apart with two fingers, licking into it and steadfast ignoring his clit. “Hm? Did you play with your clit a little, press some fingers up inside of you and think of my cock?”

“Yes,” Andy hissed out, grabbing Joe’s hair just shy of too rough. He knew that he’d asked the question, but the visual was a little much for him, moaning out against Andy’s skin.

“Did you like it?” That was always the next question, because he’d met some girls that just didn’t like penetration. Not when they masturbated, at least, and Joe wasn’t quite sure where Andy’s pussy was on that level. He could be too tight, need to ease into this slowly, work Andy up a shitton before he could even think about fucking him.

“It was… uncomfortable,” Andy confessed, rising up onto his elbows before sitting up, pure core strength, in order to take off his bra and toss it aside. Joe didn’t mourn the loss, staring at Andy’s tits in his face, craning his neck forward enough to catch a nipple in his mouth and suck. It had Andy gasping out, both hands on the back of Joe’s head to bring him closer to his chest. “Just… make me feel good. You always do.”

It was a heavy burden to bear, but one that Joe took happily. He pushed Andy back down gently, not nearly as hard as he might have been once upon a time. It was a different game now. Just like the other night, when Andy had pushed him into that closet, this was going to be about Andy.

This was for him.

“I will, baby, I will,” Joe assured, kissing his way back down Andy’s belly, pausing to suck a nice hickey onto his hip so that way they would match in marks. His face was already wet from Andy’s juices, smearing it over Andy’s skin, not caring in the least. Sex was supposed to be messy, and it’d definitely never stopped either of them before.

He had to be careful, pay close attention to Andy’s body for any signs of too much. He knew some discomfort Andy would bear through, considering Joe had fucked him in the ass enough to know his tells. But he didn’t even like Andy to be uncomfortable, not even for a second, not even knowing that it would get better. So Joe went to work on Andy’s clit, using two fingers to hold his lips apart and lap at it, grinning only slightly when Andy let out a low moan and tried to grind against his face.

It was definitely a good sign when Andy’s hips couldn’t stay still, arching and swaying. Joe wanted to hold him down, make him take it like he would have if he’d been sucking Andy off, but this was different. He needed Andy’s body to tell him he was doing a good job. Especially when he actually took Andy’s clit between his lips, sucking in time with flicking his tongue over it, making Andy clench his thighs around Joe’s face.

“Oh god, oh god,” Andy breathed out, fingers tight in Joe’s hair, thighs trembling and Joe knew what was coming. He resting his free hand against the flat of Andy’s belly, thumb dipping down so he could pull the hood of his clit up and lick at it directly. For a second he thought it was almost too much, wouldn’t be surprised if it was, but then Andy was crying out and trying to curl up, clit throbbing in Joe’s mouth and yes, there it was.

Joe lightened his touches slowly, pulling his mouth off to lick down the entire length of Andy’s cunt, keeping his thumb rubbing tight little circles just above his clit while he shook with his orgasm. Joe managed to watch, too--Andy’s lips parted, eyes screwed shut as he let out these soft, panty moans and it was just fantastic. He was really looking forward to make it happen a couple hundred more times.

“Are you going to--” Andy began when he saw Joe’s head go down again, letting out a louder moan this time when Joe took his clit into his mouth and began working it again. The wet sounds in the room were almost as much of a turn on as the taste of Andy, sucking and licking, saving his teeth for a light nibble on one of Andy’s puffy lips.

One orgasm down, Joe felt a little better about resting a finger at Andy’s hole, gently rubbing while he nuzzled his face into his skin. Just the tip of his finger in and all Joe could think of was tighthotwet over and over again. Maybe a little too tight, using one hand to keep Andy’s hips pinned to avoid having him push back on Joe’s fingers. There wasn’t a need to rush. He could probably get another orgasm out of Andy before doing anything more.

It was just as quick the second time, too, sucking at Andy’s clit while he flicked his tongue against it over and over again. He felt Andy’s thighs around his face, trembling hard, this time working his finger into him to the knuckle before he was cumming, clamping down on Joe’s face with his thighs in time with his pussy around Joe’s finger. Andy let out a wet sort of noise, his hand over his mouth to stop it and if Joe had a free hand he would make sure that the world heard Andy right now.

Joe backed off again on the cool down, licking his lips, kissing a line from Andy’s inner thigh to his knee. He kept his finger inside of him, though, not moving or really doing anything other than just touching. Andy’s grin was wide, his face sweaty from the sex, making Joe reach out and push his hair back and off his forehead.

Andy caught his wrist surprisingly, pulling Joe’s hand to his mouth for a kiss. Joe knew for a fact that his hands reeked of pussy, but apparently Andy didn’t mind. He kissed each and every fingertip, down over Joe’s palm, a nipping kiss to Joe’s wrist. Warm, affectionate, and lazy.

With Andy so relaxed, Joe took the opportunity to slip his finger in further, pushing a little more, watching Andy’s face intently and all he got was a little surprise. “Wait, again? Seriously?” Andy asked, Joe just grinning before settling between his legs.

Andy was so warm and wet, Joe minutely thrusting his finger in and out for a couple of moments, just letting Andy get used to the feeling. He was definitely in no position to take Joe’s cock--as it was, Andy was tight around one finger, vaguely making him think back to the first time they’d fucked.

“How’s my finger feel?” Joe asked instead of answering the question, nose nuzzling against Andy’s damp clit. “Good? Too much? Not enough?”

Andy pressed a hand over his eyes, falling back down onto the bed. “Feels… fine, I guess. Not like anything, really.”

Good. That was good. Joe started working the finger in and out, just letting Andy get used to the friction of it while he sucked lightly on his clit. Not enough to get anything done, more so just to tease, because Andy was probably stupidly sensitive by now if the gasping noise he was making was any indication. Joe was careful not to do too much, flatten his tongue against Andy’s clit and wiggle it from side to side.

After a few minutes Joe was comfortable enough to start curling his finger up, making sure to use the pad of his finger. The first gasp from Andy had him grinning, the second laughing out, and the third launched him into action. He pressed his mouth against Andy’s pussy again, lapping and sucking at his clit while he moved his finger over and over again. Another thing Joe had missed about sex with women--self lubrication, because by the time Andy was cumming again, hard, Joe’s hand was soaked and his face wasn’t doing much better.

“Enough,” Andy croaked out, trying to close his legs around Joe’s face. He was twitching still, legs occasionally jerking with it, breathing rapidly. One finger was fine, g-spot was good, but two fingers and Joe would be satisfied.

“Just one more, baby,” Joe cooed, licking up the mess from around Andy’s pussy, careful to avoid his clit on this one or any of his stubble scraping against his skin. “Think you can do that?”

“I’m going to die,” Andy said, reaching down to cup the back of Joe’s head and bring it against his cunt again, making Joe grin. “How do women handle this?”

“Stronger creatures than we are,” Joe murmured, blowing some cool air over Andy’s pussy just to watch him twitch and arch. He did it again and again, bending down enough to lick around Andy’s opening, where his finger had him spread. He teased with a second finger, pressing against Andy’s hole, eyes flicking up to watch Andy’s face to find him blissed out with his eyes shut and his lip sucked into his mouth.

Joe eased his way in slowly, because this he was used to. Just the tip of his second figure with the entirety of his first, then half and all, making sure that Andy’s face wasn’t screwing up in discomfort. In reality, Joe was probably being too careful with Andy. After three orgasms he should have no problem taking two fingers. But Joe wanted to make sure, watching like a hawk for Andy’s reactions as he carefully eased his fingers into him.

Part of Joe wanted to make this one last, really push it out of Andy to see if he could get him off with just penetration. Joe started moving his fingers slowly, keeping them straight, just letting Andy get used to the girth again. He kept his mouth away from Andy’s clit still, instead kissing his inner thighs, licking the sweat there, rubbing his face against them for the nice hiss from Andy and the knowledge that there would be beard burn tomorrow. In and out until those same soft, wet noises were back, Andy’s pussy practically sucking him in with every thrust, his hips rolling to meet them.

Joe crooked his fingers again, focusing on the feel, wanting to laugh when he heard Andy gasp out and felt that little swollen spot, a little rougher than the rest of him. He started slow, just pushing his fingers into it in a hither motion, loving the way Andy’s hips absently undulated and he sucked his lip between his teeth. Then a little faster when Andy started to pant again, pushing his head back into the mattress, arching his back up from the bed only to have the sheets stick to his skin. Joe rested a hand against Andy’s pubic mound, rubbing from that side as well, fingers working in tandem until Andy was quivering with it, knuckles white with holding onto the sheets.

Keeping mindful of being careful, Joe brought his face down one last time to Andy’s clit. He spit first, just to make sure there wasn’t any hard friction, before sucking the swollen nub into his mouth. Listening to Andy cum was always one of his favorite past times, but now it was just so much more, getting his head trapped between Andy’s thighs every time, listening to Andy sob out a moan and thrash a little while Joe tried to keep his rhythm going, keep applying pressure, because maybe, maybe, he could keep it going.

Turns out he definitely could, keeping his fingers steady while Andy cried out again, and Joe’s gut twisted at the wetness from the corner of his eyes but he knew that it was good, that he’d done well. Joe eased off his clit, pressing one last wet kiss to it, watching Andy’s body tremble and twitch in the aftermath of it. He pulled his fingers free slowly, unable to stop himself from sucking them into his mouth, not tasting any blood and that was the best victory of them all. Well, aside from Andy laying naked and boneless on the bed, legs finally shut as he curled into himself and trembled.

Joe didn’t waste any time, laying behind Andy, curling around him and wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him close. He kissed over Andy’s shoulders, back, neck--anything that he could reach, anything to soothe him. He stroked his hand over his stomach, over his sides and hips, massaged his thighs lightly because he bet they ached at least somewhat from Joe holding him open for so long.

Joe kissed the sweaty nape of his neck, the curve of his shoulder, the top of his spine. He smiled into Andy’s skin when Andy took his hand, laced their fingers together, kissed each of his knuckles softly. Joe definitely needed to do some clean up and get off, but it could wait. He would wait until Andy got the comfort and cool down that he needed.

“You’re never allowed near my pussy again,” Andy said after several long minutes of Joe just petting and kissing him. “My god I think I blacked out. I definitely cried a little.” Andy wiped at his eyes while he laughed, Joe grinning down at him to kiss the corner of his mouth affectionately.

“Let me get up and grab a wash cloth, yeah?” Joe mumbled, kissing Andy’s lips, smirking when Andy shoved his tongue into his mouth, pulled back to slide his tongue over Joe’s lips.

“You are fucking drenched with me, oh my god that’s so hot,” Andy whispered quickly, rubbing their noses together. “You reek and it’s stupidly hot.”

Joe was content to leave it at that, kissing Andy’s forehead once before trying to pull back. Except Andy kept a firm hand on the nape of his neck, his other snaking down Joe’s torso to wrap around the base of his cock and oh.

“You don’t,” Joe began, throat feeling a little dry and he could feel his cock throb. “You don’t have to, Andy. This was for you.” Joe kissed him once, twice, pushing Andy’s head back into the mattress with it. “This was all for you, okay?”

“Jerking you off can be for me, too,” Andy pointed out, definitely not pouting when Joe lead his hand away, kissed his palm, and set it down. Joe laughed, warm and husky, kissing Andy’s bottom lip before sliding off the bed and heading out the door.

Pete and Patrick were definitely on the bus, looking up probably in time to watch Joe’s naked ass go into the bathroom. They’d seen worse, definitely walked into worse. Joe grabbed his washcloth, the one for his face, wetting it generously with cool water. He was so hard it was painful, though, looking down to his cock before back to the door.

It took a total of maybe seven or eight strokes before Joe was cumming into some toilet paper, spilling over his fingers but containing most of the mess. He had to sit down afterwards, take a few deep breaths, because he was a little lightheaded and it was hard to think of anything besides the fact that he was literally drenched in Andy’s cum.

When Joe felt like he could walk again he stood up, rewet the washcloth with cold water, and let it dangle in front of his cock when he walked out of the bathroom. Pete and Patrick both looked up, winced, Pete shielding his eyes plus Patrick’s.

“Yes, you can have the back room tonight, Jesus. Just put your dick away!” Pete said immediately, Patrick smother a laugh in his shoulder.

“I love you both,” Joe croaked, turning and slipping through the door again.

Andy was damn near asleep, letting Joe rearrange his legs to wipe between them. Andy moaned out when Joe wiped the cloth over his pussy and thighs, up over his stomach. The makeup had stayed on surprisingly well--Joe still couldn’t see any of the tattoos, except for maybe a hint of them on Andy’s back.

Joe tried to wipe himself down too, found that he didn’t have the energy, and just flopped into bed behind Andy. He resumed curling around Andy, arm around his waist, tucking his knees behind Andy’s legs, still floored by the fact that he could engulf him completely now.

“I’ll eat you up; I love you so,” Andy whispered, barely there, tipping the edge between conscious and sleep.

Joe smiled into his shoulder and squeezed him tight.


It was as hard as it’d ever been to get out of bed the next morning, wrapped around Andy in a warm cocoon of too hot skin. It was a necessary evil, though, because he had to pee like the dickens and it was just about 10AM.

He braved the trip naked again, because Patrick was definitely still in his bunk and Pete was probably half asleep if he was even awake. He didn't see anyone though, taking a leak and splashing some water onto his face, brushing his teeth because why the hell not.

The trip to the kitchen was probably a little ballsy, but whatever. No one was in the front when Joe walked to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water and some grapes, for both sustenance and comedic value. The indignant squawk he heard on the way back was definitely Pete, making Joe laugh as he slid in the backroom.

Andy was already awake, resting on his hip with his back twisted to lay flat against the mattress. He was in the middle of stretching when Joe came in, looking beautiful as ever with his mussed hair and eye makeup smeared.

"I brought food and water," Joe said, easing a knee onto the bed before just flopping down next to Andy, handing him the water bottle and bunch of grapes

Andy hummed out, turning to face Joe with a smile. "Such a provider you are. Excellent for rearing children."

"I want no less than eight," Joe said through a grin, leaning forward to kiss Andy. "But really, eat and drink something. I'm scared I put you in a sex coma."

"That was pretty great," Andy agreed, sitting up enough to uncap the water bottle and take a few long pulls from it. Joe took the opportunity of Andy's exposed back to smooth a hand up his spine, stopping just below the makeup.

They ate in relative silence, Joe occasionally opening his mouth to let Andy feed him a grape or six. He kept touching because he could, trailing his fingers up higher over Andy's back to touch the makeup. There was definitely a hint of tattoos underneath it now, barely noticeable until you knew what to look for.

"How do you feel?" Joe asked, sitting up to kiss Andy's shoulder, neck, temple. Andy moved into each kiss, eyes closed and a smile on his face.

“Sore, actually,” he murmured, turning to kiss Joe on the lips. “But a good sore. The kind that I like.”

Joe knew exactly what he meant, feeling his face heat up with a light flush. The kind of sore that would make Andy shift on his drum set, tilt his hips when Joe looked at him, trying to get comfortable but completely unable to.

“I kinda meant, you know, in general,” Joe said, waving a hand around absently. He let out a grunt when Andy flopped on top of him, resting his head against Joe’s stomach, pillowed there. Their bodies were facing in opposite directions, turning his head to bump his forehead against Andy’s shin. Joe reached out, traced up the curve of his hip, turning his face to kiss his anklebone. “Hey, itty bitty feetsies.”

“I know, right?” Andy splayed his toes, wiggling them at Joe before trying to put one up his nose. Joe laughed, moved his face away, slapping Andy’s ass lightly. “But I feel… okay, I guess. I’m not, you know, happy about it still. But we found a way that I can play. I have even less responsibility to go to interviews and stuff now. I get to be super cute and have a super hot boyfriend who plays my pussy like a fiddle, so.” A shrug, resting his cheek against Joe’s stomach as he smoothed a hand up over his chest. “Things could definitely be worse.”

“I could have gotten you turned into an animal,” Joe pointed out, taking Andy’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “Like… a cat or something.”

“I would piss on everything you love,” Andy murmured, kissing Joe’s stomach softly before nuzzling into the warm skin. “And shove my asshole in your face.”

“You do that already,” Joe murmured, letting out a noise of protest when Andy started to move. “Where are you going?”

“I need to go for a run,” he answered, leaning over to kiss Joe. Once, twice, until Joe was winding his fingers into Andy’s hair and trying to keep him down through Andy laughing.

“You need to stay and continue to have sex with me,” Joe whined, though he did let Andy go. Andy stood, bending over to find something to wear. Joe took the opportune moment to stare at his ass fully, the hint of pussy lips that were still flushed pink.

“You can come to, you know,” Andy said, looking over his shoulder to Joe, shooting him a dry look when he found his panties and tugged them on. “I like you enough.”

“No gracias,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand, sitting up and grabbing a pair of sweats to tug on. Maybe he’d shower or something useful. “I have plans.”

“Smoking and sunbathing are not plans,” Andy pointed out, finding his bra and putting it back on. He grabbed Joe’s shirt before Joe could, tugging it on over his head. It did something to the pit of Joe’s stomach that his shirt engulfed Andy now, reaching his thighs, entirely too big. It made Joe grab at Andy’s hips, tug him close and push the shirt up to kiss his stomach, one and then twice, because he was a greedy little shit.

“Pete might have some sweats you can borrow that would fit,” Joe recommended, licking his thumb and trying to rub away some of the makeup smudged under Andy’s eye.

Andy just laughed, batting his hand away. “Okay, yeah. I’ll see you in an hour and a half? Try not to get into any trouble and anyone else in the band turned into something else.”

Then Andy was walking away while Joe collapsed back onto the bed, arms over his head in a slow stretch. “You never let me have any fun!” he accused, smiling to himself when all he got back was the shadow of Andy’s laughter through the door.


“Did you have your big, feminist revelation yet?” Pete asked, coming to sit on Joe’s back since he was sprawled out on the couch on his stomach.

“Nope,” Joe answered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, shifting when Pete laid across his back and hooked his chin over his shoulder to read what was on his laptop. “But I did learn that the whole women make 77 cents to the man’s dollar only counts for white women. Latina and Black women make significantly less.” It wasn’t something that necessarily surprised Joe, but it was depressing as shit still.

“That’s rough,” Pete agreed, nodding. “I took a women and politics class once, brutal shit. It’s basically ‘let’s get some old dudes in a room to talk about what women should be able to do with their bodies’ over and over again.”

Joe sighed, resting his cheek against his laptop in defeat. “Which sucks, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it as one dude. We’re all feminists already, don’t have a problem with that. We respect women enough to not date them and not have to put up with our disgusting asses.”

Pete sat up, right on Joe’s ass, patting his back lightly. “Maybe, then, I don’t know. Focus on Andy? Buy him flowers?”

“I was thinking about getting him a new crash cym,” Joe said, having already looked at some online.

“Why don’t you two, you know, go out on a date?” Joe paused, turning his head enough to look at Pete with his eyebrow raised. It was rare to see Pete blush, or shy, but there it was, sitting on his ass. “I mean, sometimes I wish I could take Patrick out, you know? Have a nice dinner, talk about everything or maybe nothing since we spend so much time together anyways. Light a candle afterwards and do the do in a sexy, soft kinda way.” Pete paused, quirking one side of his lips up in a small smile. “Andy doesn’t even look like Andy anymore. You guys could go out and have a really nice time together.”

It was true, though. He didn’t think that he and Andy had ever gone out on a date. At least not a romantic one. They’d gotten food together alone, but that was different. Things were different, because the only people that knew Andy was Andy now was them and Paramore. So this could potentially be a blessing to the situation, that Joe and Andy could go out and no one would pay them any mind.

“Maybe you’re right,” Joe agreed, nodding his head a little the more he thought about it. “We’ve got a hotel tomorrow night and no show. We could definitely go on a date then.”

“And if you wake up and your boyfriend has a dick again, congrats!” Pete said, patting Joe lightly on the shoulder before getting up. “Glad I could help. Speaking of boyfriends, has mine risen from the dead yet?”

“Yes I have, you big soft noodle,” Patrick said from the bunks, and there was that blush from Pete again paired with some nervous laughter. “I’d want to take you out on a date too, you know.”

“How about Joe leaves the bus and I’ll tell you in great detail what I would like to do to you?” Pete said, loudly enough for Patrick to hear while staring pointedly at Joe.

Joe sighed, long suffering, but they did let him and Andy have the back last night so he couldn’t complain. He only saluted Pete, pausing long enough to grab a tank top and head off the bus before he could hear anything or see anything.


“I’m going to ask Andy out on a date,” Joe said quickly.

There was a pause on the other line, a brief hint of static, before his mother simply said, “Sweetie, haven’t you two been dating for a while now?”

They had a show back in Chicago a little while ago, and since it was home, they all went to respective houses. Pete and Patrick split time between Gale’s and Patricia’s, but Andy crashed at Joe’s place. His mom had known about them for a while now, but it was just good to watch his mom and Andy put around in the kitchen, or Andy and his dad sit down and watch a game together.

“Yeah,” Joe answered. “We’ve just, you know, never gone out on a date before.”

“Well, that’s really sweet.” Joe’s mom sounded fond, because she had always loved Andy and was forever thankful that he was there to look out for Joe. Now they just had sex, too. “Are you nervous?”

“Yeah,” Joe said through a laugh, running a hand through his hair. “I’m really frickin nervous, ma.”

“Good,” she responded. “You should always be nervous. When you’re not nervous, then you’ve gotten too comfortable.”

Joe thought on that for a second. “Do you get nervous when you and dad go out?”

“Every time,” she answered, and Joe could hear the smile in her voice. “Send Andy my love, and make sure you’re a gentleman.”


“I’m going to ask Andy out on a date,” Joe said later that night, catching Hayley’s arm backstage.

Hayley paused, looking at Joe’s hand on her bicep before up to his face with her eyes wide. “Congrats? I’m not Andy. I also need to go on stage now since I’m in this little band, you know. Paramore.”

“Why am I freaking out!” Joe yelled, watching Hayley walk away from him with a shrug and a shake of her head.


“I’m going to ask Andy out on a date,” Joe told Jeremy, both of them sitting on some amps, legs dangling and sharing a joint.

“Do people still do that after five years?” Jeremy asked aloud, not really to Joe, a soft sort of wonder in his voice. “Because that’s really sweet if it’s true.”

“I don’t think you can do an implied date,” Joe said, flicking his lighter over and over again. “Because then that’s just hanging out. I can’t be like, ‘oh, you wanna grab some dinner?’ because Andy will be like ‘sure, yeah, great’ and then wear flipflops and basketball shorts.”

“Are you going to dress up?”

“Uh, well,” Joe started, scratching a hand back through his hair before passing the burned out joint to Jeremy. “I thought so, yeah?”

“Good,” Jeremy said, nodding his head in agreement. “Good.”


“I’m going to ask Andy out on a date,” Joe said quickly.

Patrick and Pete just stared at him.

“Are you, like, asking our permission, old school style?” Pete said after a moment. “Because, dude, I kinda gave you the idea.”

“Are you high?” Patrick asked, paused, nodding his head. “Retract that. Yes. Are you freaking out?”

“I thought smoking would calm me down and it worked through a whole conversation with Jeremy before I started freaking out again.”

Patrick laughed lightly as Joe began to pace, back and forth. “You realize that it’s Andy, right? He’s not going to, you know, say no.”

“But what if he doesn’t actually want to?” Joe asked, whined, sitting down on the opposite couch and dropped his hands into his face. “I don’t want him to feel obligated to.”

“I’m sure he won’t,” Patrick soothed, getting up to sit next to Joe and pat his shoulder lightly. “I’m sure he’ll be delighted to go out with you.”

“Just promise him that the night will end with whatever you did last night and I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Pete said through a laugh, Patrick rolling his eyes and wrapping an arm around Joe’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Joe said, chewing the nail of his thumb for a moment. “Yeah.”


“I’m going to ask Andy out on a date,” Joe said.

Andy blinked. “Joe, I’m Andy.”

Oh god, smooth. Excellent. Joe cleared his throat, smiling at Andy, tucked into his bunk with his laptop open and a movie playing. “I’d like to ask you out on a date. You know, a nice one where we wear nice clothes and pay too much for dinner.”

Andy smiled, something warm and sincere, looking down into his lap first before looking at Joe. “I’m, yeah. Definitely. Good. I’d love to go out.” And it didn’t matter how old you were or how long you’d been dating, when someone looked at you like Andy was looking at him, it made your stomach go and your heart beat a little faster.

“Okay,” Joe said carefully, registering that it was a yes before he was grinning too wide. “Okay, great. How about I pick you up at five?”

Andy laughed. “We’re sharing a hotel room, but I’ll be sure to be ready for five.”

There was entirely too much smiling going on for their kiss to work, but it was fine. Great. Because Andy was smiling and kissing him, sitting in his bunk in one of Joe’s shirts and his tattoos visible because he had to take a shower. They would have to keep the makeup on during their date tomorrow, but afterwards, maybe he could coerce Andy to take a shower first.

“You going out tonight?” Andy mumbled against Joe’s lips.

“Yeah,” he murmured, smiling when Andy nibbled on his bottom lip. “Can I come forcibly snuggle with you after?”

“Sure,” Andy said, brushing some hair from Joe’s face with one of those bright smiles. “Have fun.”

“Yeah,” Joe said, backing away with that same smile. “Yeah, I will.”

Five years later and they still had it.


They were traveling during the day, so there wasn’t much for Joe to do besides curl up with Andy in their bunk and watch movies. He was hungover beyond belief, but Andy was a merciful lover, got him some Gatorade and snackies before they left last night. Joe used his phone to find a good restaurant near the hotel within walking distance, making reservations when Andy was in the bathroom. Other than that, there wasn’t much to do aside from wait for the bus to stop.

Once it did, Andy was dressed and Hayley was there. “I’m stealing your boyfriend,” she announced, taking Andy by the arm while Joe made a little indignant squawk.

“The fuck you are,” he protested, motioning around them. “Tonight is date night, little lady.”

“Not until five,” Andy reminded him, smiling and kissing him quickly on the lips since they were out on the street. “I’ll be back, I promise.”

Joe grumbled, annoyed, but it would give him some time to maybe plan out what they were going to do. Or at least maybe iron his shirt. He let them go with a wave of his hand, grabbing the overnight bag they had both packed. He was exhausted still, but there was a pool and aquatics had always been a weak spot for him. He managed to convince Pete to come down with him, both of them splashing around and trying to drown one another while Patrick watched from the edge.

“Where are you guys going to go tonight?” Patrick asked, kicking some water into Pete’s face when he got too close.

“A restaurant down the street. I already called to see if they could do some vegan options for both of us, he said yes, so we’re good,” Joe said, floating on his back, looking up at the ceiling. “I think it’ll be nice.”

“Maybe we’ll have our own romantic night in, huh?” Pete offered, smiling softly to Patrick. Patrick let him get closer and closer still, until he was standing between Patrick’s legs, leaning up to kiss him but really grabbing Patrick and throwing him into the water.

The dispersal of water had Joe off balance, dunking under before coming up with a laugh. “Patrick, dude,” he said, watching as Patrick yelled and tried to drown Pete, half-successful considering Pete swallowed a mouthful of water while laughing.

“Why do I still trust you!” Patrick yelled, shoving at Pete’s head, even when Pete scooped him up and held him tight. “Fifteen fucking years and I haven’t learned my lesson yet!”

“And you never will, my love,” Pete said, kissing Patrick lightly on the forehead. “And you never will.”

That much was true. Joe pulled himself out of the pool with a roll of his eyes, checking the time on his phone. It was just late enough that he could start getting ready and maybe not be super early.

“You two have fun not killing each other,” Joe said, wrapping the towel around his head and grabbing his shirt before heading upstairs.

Andy was still gone when he got back, tossing the towel from the pool and his swim trunks over the shower bar to dry. He debated on whether or not to shower, which turned into a debate on whether or not to shave. It was a nice evening out. He should shower--hell, Andy was probably going to--and shaving was a good idea too. So he got in the shower for some business, actually wet his hair down and washed it, letting the room fill up with steam so it would be easier to shave.

Joe made it a point to stand under the hot spray of water, eyes closed and head tilted back, just thinking. He had the time to, anyway, and there was nothing better than shower thoughts. He considered a few new rifts in his head, used his fingers for positioning, pleased about that. He thought about the woman from Starbucks, the lesson he was supposed to learn, and hoped that this date would bring them closer to that.

Shaving took a whole fifteen minutes and he didn’t even cut himself, wrapping a towel around his head to let his hair try while he sat bare ass naked on their bed and watched Food Network. It was just a little after four when Andy came back, the keycard sound in the door making Joe perk up, grab the towel off his head and drape it on his lap in case Hayley was with him.

She wasn’t. It was just Andy, a bag in one hand and his keycard in the other. He was wearing a fluffy white robe, which meant he definitely showered and had Sarah apply more makeup to his body.

“Well don’t you look ready for a night out on the town,” Joe said, grinning fondly when Andy pulled a face at him, coming over for a kiss. Joe returned it, fingers going to the belt of the robe to try and undo it to no avail, Andy pulling away with a grin.

“Nope, not yet,” Andy chastised, moving away from Joe and motioning to the bathroom. “You done in there?”

“Yeah,” Joe said, swiping his towel over his crotch before tossing it at Andy. “Just hang that up for me please?”

With Andy in the bathroom, it was probably time to start getting ready. He’d miraculously found some clean pants, black jeans, that didn’t really have that many holes in them. The button up was a deep purple, and actually Patrick’s, a little too tight around his arms and shoulders but Joe had a blazer that fit like a dream so it was okay.

It took him a couple of minutes to find a clear pair of underwear, but he did, tugging those on before his jeans. His belt was another issue, but that was discovered as well. He didn’t bother with an undershirt, just grabbing his button up and sliding it on. He really shouldn’t have been as nervous as he was, fingers shaking lightly when he was buttoning up his shirt. He was hypersensitive, listening to the sounds in the bathroom, entire body jumping when the click of the door came and Andy stepped out.

It wasn’t as though Joe hadn’t seen beautiful women before in his life. He had. He’d been on stage with Victoria’s Secret models, who some would say were probably the most beautiful that America had to offer. And yet, somehow, they didn’t hold a candle to Andy right now. He was gorgeous, wearing a simple ruched black dress, strapless, hugging his curves and making Joe want to touch. He wasn’t sure where, maybe everywhere. Smear that makeup that covered his tattoos and just kiss every inch.

There was some red lipstick involved, some winged eyeliner, and Joe thought he was the most beautiful woman in the world. He opened his mouth to say as much, feeling his tongue too thick, Andy walking over with a light smile and beginning to button up his shirt for him.

“You look handsome,” Andy said, voice quiet, and Joe wondered if Andy was as nervous as he was. The gaze he got was a little shy, Andy averting his eyes, focusing on the buttons, and wow.

“I’ve never loved anyone more than you,” Joe said suddenly, making Andy freeze. It was true, Joe knew. He’d never loved anyone more and he never would. Well, unless he had a child. That was a different kind of love, though. This one curled around Joe’s heart, squeezed tight, releasing the pressure only to do it again.

Andy smiled, though, like he couldn’t help himself and it probably hurt to smile that wide. He finished up Joe’s shirt and reaching over to the bed in order to grab his tie, sling that around his neck, and begin to do it up. “Do you really like it?” Andy asked softly.

It was still weird, seeing Andy without all the tattoos. It was still weird that he was a girl. Joe missed his boyfriend to the moon and back, even more evident now because what he really wanted to do was to take Andy out as himself. Both of them helping one another button up their shirts and tie ties.

“I do,” Joe said, because he didn’t know what else to say. He did like it, aesthetically, there was a very beautiful girl before him. It just wasn’t what he had thought he wanted.

“Good,” Andy said, patting Joe’s chest after he finished with the tie. “Because I spent ten minutes doing this stupid eyeliner thing myself.”

“You could have asked Pete,” Joe offered, and they both shared a laugh. Joe grabbed his blazer, tugged it on, smoothing his hair back enough to tie it back in a bun and then they were all set, the two of them. “Are you wearing heels?”

“Ah, yeah?” Andy said, looking down to his feet. They weren’t monstrous or anything, maybe two inch black heels. “I thought they would look nice?”

“They do,” Joe agreed, slinging an arm around Andy’s waist to kiss his temple. “You look beautiful.”

The knock on the door at had both of them frowning, Joe walking over and opening it only to be momentarily blinded by a camera’s flash.

“Surprise, bitch! Paps bustin’ into your room,” Pete said, pushing into the room while Joe was still disoriented.

“What are you doing?” Andy asked, sounding more amused than annoyed, which was good.

“We wanted to get some pictures of you two being precious,” Patrick said, sidestepping Pete and Joe battling and sitting on one of the chairs. “Very ‘mom and dad on baby’s first date’.”

“Which one are you?” Joe asked, slapping Pete on the back of the head when he took a picture up Joe’s nostrils.

“Dad,” Patrick answered, motioning over to Pete. “Mom.”

“At least for tonight,” Pete offered with a wink, lowering his iPhone and smiling at them. “But no, really. I thought you guys might like to have a nice picture of the two of you before your cute date.”

Joe looked at Andy before back to Pete, lips pressed together. “Yeah, actually. That’d be nice.”

It did feel a little like prom, Andy coming over to him, wrapping his arms low around Joe’s waist. Joe kissed the top of his head lightly, smiling over to the camera while Pete just took pictures. They didn’t have a lot of pictures of themselves like this, and it was an advantage, he supposed. One of the few advantages of having your super hot boyfriend turn into a super hot girl was that no one would know that it was him you were kissing.

Pete stopped, looking through the pictures with a heart pressed against his chest. “They grow up so quickly,” he said, Patrick standing to look at the pictures of his shoulder with a smile.

“I’ll send them to you,” Patrick said, taking Pete’s phone and flashing them a smile. “Now you kids have fun. Come on, ma, we’re going to do grown up things.” Patrick grabbed Pete by the arm, waving at Joe and Andy warmly, barely able to hear Pete go, “But I don’t want to do my taxes.”

That nervous flutter was back as soon as the door shut, making Joe rub the back of his neck before looking over to Andy, catching him smiling. He reached out, rubbing Joe’s lips with his thumb, because hey, Joe had forgotten Andy was wearing lipstick when he kissed him.

“Good to go?” Joe asked, catching Andy’s hand and kissing the back of it. Andy nodded, smiling in his consent, even laughing a little when Joe offered him his arm.

“For you, always,” Andy murmured, sweet and cheesy, holding the door open for Joe and slipping his phone and keycard into Joe’s pocket.


The restaurant was definitely romantic, with dimmed lights and a lot of crimson hues. Joe had requested the outdoor seating, a terrace that was covered in glass that had water falling down it. It made Joe had to pee, vaguely, but there was soft music playing in the corner with a little space for couples to dance if they wanted. There was even a candle on the table and a single white rose, reaching out to hand it to Andy just to watch him smile.

They talked about nothing and everything. Joe mentioned having spoken to his mom, that she sent Andy her love, and that resulted in explaining to Andy the minor meltdown he’d had before asking him out on a date. Which, in retrospect, was stupid. Andy wouldn’t say no, ever, especially not with the way his eyes sparkled a little when the waiter acknowledged that they would alter any dish to his vegan tastes.

There were lapses in silence, byproducts of spending so much time around one another and being so damn comfortable. Joe watched a couple dance, slow and sweet, lingering desire to do so but knowing that they couldn’t. Except… that they could. Because right now, they were just a lovely hetero couple out on a date.

Also, because he and Andy couldn’t really dance. Which was exactly what Andy pointed out when Joe asked him to.

“It’s pressing close and swaying,” Joe dismissed with a wave of his hand, reaching it out after for Andy to take. “We can definitely do that.”

And as it turned out, they could. Joe walked them over there slowly, spinning Andy around with a grin before bringing him closer to his chest. A hand on Andy’s hip, their own fingers laced together and nestled under Andy’s chin, it was sweet. Romantic. He wanted to look at the other patrons, maybe to see if anyone was watching, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t open his eyes, cheek resting against the side of Andy’s head, thinking about doing this when Andy was back to normal. Maybe set up their own dinner somewhere on the road, play music out of a boombox and get Andy to dance with him.

It only helped that dinner was delicious, the two of them falling quiet for most of that. The offer for dessert was tempting but denied, just because Andy didn’t want them going through the trouble of making anything particularly fancy for them. At the end of it all, they left the restaurant holding hands, Joe’s blazer around Andy’s shoulders, only about a block away from the hotel.

“You want a piggy back ride?” Joe offered, noticing Andy a little wobbly on his feet.

He could tell Andy was torn between desperately wanting just that and being polite. But when he groaned out a, “yes,” and took his heels off before jumping onto Joe’s back, Joe knew that it was the right decision. Andy was so slight now it wasn’t even a problem, Andy kissing softly at his neck and Joe threatening to use Andy’s legs to kick the people they walked passed until they were both laughing.

Once they were in the hotel room, Joe safely deposited Andy onto their bed, watching him sprawl out with a slow stretch.

“You wanna take a shower?” Joe offered, sitting down and taking one of Andy’s feet into his lap to massage at the arch.

Andy was groaning in a second flat, back arching off the bed and watching Joe with lazy eyes. “We’re going to have really romantic sex tonight, aren’t we?”

Joe laughed fondly before nodding his head. “You bet your ass we are.”

Andy let Joe scoop him up, carry him bridal style to the bathroom, narrowly avoiding bashing his head into the doorframe. Once on his feet again, Joe had this giddy feeling when Andy turned around and let Joe undo the zipper to his dress. It fell to the ground in a silky pile, Andy wearing that same black bra and black lace panties, looking absolutely beautiful against his skin.

Getting Joe out of his clothes was a little more time consuming, but he leaned against the sink and let Andy work. Andy undid his tie, letting it fall haphazardly before starting on the buttons of his shirt. Every button revealed more skin that Andy kissed, over and over again, until Andy was kneeling in front of him and tugging his shirt out of his pants. Then came his belt, undoing and pulled through the loops, before tugging his pants and boxers down in one go.

“Gunna wash this crap off you,” Joe drawled lazily, fingers running over Andy’s shoulders and arms when he stood again. He brought Andy’s body closer to his so he could reach around, undo the back of his bra and take that off, throw that away.

“Yeah, it’s weird having it on,” Andy murmured, tilting his hips when Joe slid his hands down his sides, letting the panties slide between his middle and forefinger in order to push them off.

Joe let Andy deal with the temperature of the shower, going back to their bag and grabbing the special soap they needed to use in order to get the makeup off. He was eager to have Andy all tattooed again, slipping into the shower and momentarily getting sprayed in the eyes with some water.

Andy laughed, pushing him against the side of the shower to avoid the water, the lipstick wiped off but leaving Andy’s lips looking pink and vulnerable like they did when Joe spent too long kissing him. So Joe kissed him, an arm wrapping low around his waist while the other cupped his jaw.

Joe was eager to get the makeup off, pulling back and grabbing a loofah to lather up. It was a little amazing how it worked, rubbing at Andy’s skin, watching all the color come back and it settled something in Joe he hadn’t been aware was frayed. It was saying something that he was more concerned about Andy’s tattoos being gone than his dick. The tattoos were Andy’s heart, the dick was just a little biology.

“There they are,” Joe crooned, rubbing a little harder against Andy’s throat. The skin was flushing pink, but it was there, tattooed and beautiful. “Thank fuck.”

Andy grinned at him, resting back against the wall of the shower when Joe went to his knees to start to wash his legs. This close to Andy, Joe couldn’t help but lean forward, pushing his face between Andy’s thighs and nuzzle against his pussy. He grin when he heard Andy gasp, tongue snaking out to press between his lips, press against his clit.

“Save it for the bedroom,” Andy murmured, fingers going into Joe’s hair to tug him away. Which was fair enough, Joe coming back up since Andy’s legs were clean, kissing him under the spray of the water. They made out lazily, until their skin was a little too soft, bordering on wrinkly.

Joe was sure to wrap the towel around Andy first, dry him off just to get more time to touch his skin. He was so beyond thankful that he could see his tattoos, kissing the lines, trailing his tongue over them. He paid less attention to himself for drying off, a quick couple of swipes before trying to tug Andy into the bedroom.

“Uh, wait,” Andy said, pulling his hands from Joe’s. Joe paused, brows raised. “I’m going to, you know--”

“If you say ‘slip into something more comfortable’ I’m going to blow my load. Everywhere,” Joe warned, an empty threat but the kissing had gotten him a little excited.

Andy grinned. “I bought lingerie.”

Joe’s groan was louder than he intended it to be, rubbing his hands over his face. “You’re trying to fucking kill me. I know you are, and it hurts, Andy. It really hurts.”

“Go sit in bed, you big baby. Maybe jerk it a little, I don’t know,” Andy shooed him out of the bathroom with his hands, closing the door as soon as Joe was outside.

He didn’t end up jerking it. What he did do was grab the two candles he’d bought earlier because he had decided it would be a great idea, getting his lighter and lighting them. The room was still dark, but the light from the moon plus the candles definitely made sure that they could both see.

It was a little awkward, sitting alone in the center of the the best, back against the headboard, and just waiting. He thought that maybe he heard some soft swearing, covering his smile with his mouth when he heard the door open.

It… looked like a bathing suit, really. Or at least that was the closest thing that Joe could think of. If bathing suits were made out of lace. And gave Joe boners. And were completely see through. It was a pale shade of pink, maybe, stark against all the colors on Andy’s body. It looked like it maybe tied around his neck, the lace coming over to cover Andy’s tits (barely), the pink of his nipples visible and hard. The material left a clear V of skin visible to just the top of Andy’s stomach, the rest hugging his curves tightly like a bathing suit.

Joe had to blink a couple of times, watching as Andy turned so Joe could see the lace up back, the curve of his ass accentuated by the thong cut of the bottom of the piece. He had no idea what this thing was, but Andy needed eighteen of them. Stat.

“Holy shit,” Joe finally managed to breathe out, kinda glad that he hadn’t started jerking off. The best part was that Joe could still see Andy’s tattoos, visible through the lace, which just made everything so much better. Especially when Andy rested a knee on the bed, then another, before he was crawling towards Joe.

“It’s called a teddy,” Andy informed him, straddling Joe’s lap with a light shrug. “I figured you’d like it. Besides, I look amazing in this.”

Joe reached out, brushing his thumb against Andy’s nipple through the material. “You really do, babe,” he murmured, leaning forward to press his face between Andy’s tits. The skin was warm, wiggling his face back and forth to successfully motorboat him.

Andy’s laugh made him smile, as did the way he hugged Joe’s face closer to his chest when Joe took one of his nipples into his mouth. The lace didn’t taste like anything, but it was flushed dark from Joe’s spit when he pulled back, blowing over Andy’s nipple and making him shudder.

It was still a little surreal, sliding his palms up Andy’s thighs, over the curve of his hips to tug him more fully into his lap. He still tasted the same, reacted the same way, even sounded pretty damn similar. Without his tattoos, though, Andy was someone completely different to him.

They kissed for a long time, Andy sitting in his lap and running his fingers through his hair. Joe kept his hands in safe territory, trailing over Andy’s back, fingertips against his spine in a soft caress. Honestly, if all they did was make out while Andy wore stupidly hot lingerie, that was okay with him. Totally okay.

“I want you to fuck me tonight,” Andy whispered into his mouth, and, well.

“I can definitely do that, yeah,” Joe agreed, nodding his head and leaning up to kiss Andy a little more, teeth against his bottom lip. “Yep, definitely.”

Andy grinned against the curve of Joe’s neck when he pressed his face there, making Joe slide a hand up Andy’s back and to the ties of the teddy at the nape of his neck. The silk felt flimsy between his fingers, pulling the bow free and pulling back enough to watch it the triangles of fabric fall and reveal Andy’s tits.

“For scientific purposes,” Joe began, reaching out to cup Andy’s breasts softly, trail his thumbs over his nipples. “What size cup are you?”

“C,” Andy answered, looking down at Joe’s hands on his skin. “As in curvaceous as fuck.”

Joe huffed out a laugh before dipping his head, taking Andy’s nipple into his mouth again. Andy had liked this as a boy, and apparently liked it just as much as a girl, back arching to get Joe closer, hands working through his wet hair to cup the back of his head. It felt a little strange sucking at Andy’s tit, just like it always did when Joe had done it to other girls, but the soft noises from Andy’s throat were worth it. So worth it.

It was a lot easier to get Andy on his back than it used to be, Joe rolling them to have him sprawled out on the bed. The teddy thing was gorgeous and all, but Andy had to have known realistically that he was only going to be wearing it for about twenty minutes, so Joe didn’t feel guilty as he peeled it down and tossed it aside to have Andy naked.

Joe leaned over to the side, settling down on his hip in order to lay down next to Andy and kiss him. One hand cupping Andy’s cheek, the other gently working its way over his body. He thumbed at one of Andy’s nipples again, just to hear Andy hiss, maybe kiss him a little harder. He did it over and over again just to hear those little gasps, to see Andy pull back with a smirk before tugging Joe’s head down for another kiss.

In reality, Joe could probably spend an entire night just making out with Andy’s tits. He was familiar with their weight, the soft curve, the way the tattoos molded over the skin and looked so much more different than when Andy had nothing.

“I’m going to get you off once or twice before it’s penetration nation,” Joe mumbled into Andy’s mouth, smiling when Andy pulled back to bark out a laugh.

“We’re supposed to be romantic! You even lit candles,” Andy said, motioning to said candles as Joe rolled on top of him again. Andy’s hands went to his shoulders, rubbing softly before trailing down his arms, over his back.

“I am being romantic,” Joe protested through a smile, dipping his head to kiss Andy. “You’re really tight and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“So help me god if you start singing Like a Virgin,” Andy murmured, lifting his head to kiss Joe again, nails against his shoulders. “I will end you.”

“That was one time,” Joe complained, sliding down Andy’s body enough to kiss his collarbones, the center of his chest, just above his navel. “And let me tell you, the first time I fucked you I felt like a virgin.”

“You were so sweaty and nervous,” Andy sighed out, sounding just shy of loving, pushing some hair out of Joe’s face. “All shaky and high pitched. Like a chihuahua.”

Joe nipped at Andy’s hipbone for that one, settling on the bed comfortably and licking the crease of his thigh. “And now look at me. I don’t even bat an eye before stickin’ it in you.”

“Not true,” Andy pointed out, because it really wasn’t. Joe was nervous every time. He treated Andy like glass, unless it was one of their rough mood nights, but usually he spent way too long fingering Andy open before he was comfortable doing anything.

“Well,” Joe began, pushing his arms under Andy’s thighs to make sure he could hold Andy down comfortably. “Maybe some day.”

Joe was glad that Andy had skipped shaving in an odd way, because the stubble was familiar. He started off with the usual dapple of kisses--over Andy’s mound, tracing both lips, down his inner thigh and then back up. Andy was slightly propped up against the headboard so he could watch, Joe looking up to see him staring intently at him.

“You’re really amazing at this, you know,” Andy murmured, voice fond, reaching a hand out to trace the line of Joe’s nose. “I’m sure thousands of women are upset you’re off the market.”

Joe nuzzled along Andy’s slit, tongue sliding against the skin just slightly to feel the wetness between his lips. “I wouldn’t say thousands,” he said, kissing Andy’s clit. “I’d put the number in the thirties, maybe.”

Andy’s laugh melted into a moan when Joe used his thumb to start rubbing light circles over his clit, watching his thumb get wet, pulling apart Andy’s lips to lick between them. He did miss having sex with women. A lot more in the beginning of their relationship than now, back when sucking cock was still foreign territory and he missed the familiarity of eating a girl out. Now he didn’t even think about it before this. It was probably a side effect of getting old, settling down.

It didn’t really matter the body parts. What mattered was that he had Andy arching underneath him, letting out a stuttered moan of Joe’s name. The hand that had been pushing through his hair went to the back of Joe’s head now, pushing him down while Andy grinded against his mouth. Joe let him, looking up with his tongue pressed inside Andy, watching Andy watch him with those lidded eyes and his lips parted.

Eventually he needed to breathe, but that didn’t last long, pulling back only enough to get a good breath through his nose before taking Andy’s clit into his mouth. He was a little less tentative this time, listening to Andy’s gasps, feeling the way his thighs shook. He was careful still, though, when he pressed a finger up inside Andy. Last time he’d said that it didn’t feel like much, but this time Joe got a moan out of him and felt a little less overwhelmed.

“Jesus, Joe, keep going, keep going,” Andy rambled out, head pushed back into his pillow. Joe curled his finger, not even bothering to hide his smirk when Andy’s hips jerked after three or four thrusts to find the right angle. “Yes, yes, oh god.”

Andy tugged on Joe’s hair just shy of too hard before he was cumming, grinding his pussy against Joe’s face, making it a little hard to breathe or concentrate but none of those were really needed when Andy was clamping down around him, clit throbbing in his mouth. And Joe fingerfucked him through it, sucking on his clit, until Andy was pushing him away by the forehead when it became too much.

“God damn it,” Andy breathed out, a hand coming to his forehead. Joe couldn’t help his grin, kissing the crease of his thigh, the flat of his belly, while he let him cool down. “Smug asshole,” Andy accused, sniffling a little to clear his nose and humming out after.

“I give you orgasms and get called an asshole,” Joe deadpanned, tongue dipping into Andy’s navel before biting lightly. “Somehow I feel like this is unfair.”

“That’s life,” Andy mumbled, sitting up and dragging Joe up for a kiss. His mouth and cheeks were wet, just like before, and it sent something white hot down Joe’s spine that Andy thought it was as hot as he did. “Think I’m ready for your cock?”

Joe groaned, long suffering, resting his forehead against Andy’s shoulder while he steadied himself. “No,” he answered honestly, looking between them before slipping two fingers between Andy’s lips, beginning to ease them inside slowly.

Andy gasped out against his throat, hands cupping his neck to bring Joe’s face up for another kiss. “I’m ready, really. I swear.”

Still, Joe fingerfucked Andy slowly, rotating his hand so his could use his thumb to rub over his clit. He let Andy tug him down to the bed, so he was half laying on top of him, rubbing his fingers up and down inside Andy until he was squirming and clawing.

“Joe, Joe,” Andy gasped into his mouth when Joe picked up the speed, wet sounds filling the room and making Joe buck a little against the side of Andy’s hip.

The second orgasm came with a muffled scream, Joe taking his thumb off of Andy’s clit since it would be a little too rough while Joe continued to fuck him. Watching Andy cum from between his legs was great, but there was something about an aerial view that did it for him, too. Watching Andy’s thighs clench around his hand, his back arch clear off the bed. There would definitely be some nail marks in his shoulders tomorrow with how hard Andy was clawing at him, but that wasn’t even remotely an issue. Hopefully there would be more before the night was over.

Joe pulled his fingers out to wrap his arms around Andy when he rolled towards him, hold him closer and kiss his sweaty forehead. There was some minute shaking, Joe trapping Andy’s legs between his own, murmuring softly, “it’s okay, you’re okay, you did so good baby, you’re so beautiful”.

“I hate you,” Andy croaked against Joe’s chest, tilting his head back enough so Joe could kiss him.

“Such belligerence towards the bringer of orgasms,” Joe said through a smile, brushing some hair off of Andy’s forehead, thumb trailing down the straight of his nose. “You okay?”

“I think you should fuck me now,” Andy mumbled, kissing Joe’s thumb when it brushed against his lips. “Actually, no, wait, get on your back. I’m sucking your dick until you can’t see straight.”

Joe let Andy push him over, laughing, cupping his hip when he moved to straddle Joe. That was a nice view, too, Andy’s flushed face over his, tits just about level with Joe’s mouth if he moved accordingly. He made Andy sit up, moved him back a little, grabbing the base of his cock to slide the head between Andy’s pussy lips in a tease. Over and over until Andy’s thighs were shaking, leaning back enough so that he could watch Joe tease his clit with his cock, the head glistening wet.

“Well, that’s fun,” Andy breathed out, shifting his hips out of Joe’s reach. “Let’s store that one for later use.”

“Yeah,” Joe agreed easily, watching Andy dip down between his legs.

Joe let out a hard breath through his nose at the first touch of Andy’s tongue to his cock, brain momentarily melting because Andy was definitely licking his own juices from Joe. He couldn’t even managed to look, eyes screwing shut, fingers going to Andy’s hair to tug lightly at it. Like this, it was easy to think that Andy hadn’t changed. He was still just Andy, tonguing Joe’s cock lazily, rolling his balls because he knew Joe loved it.

He didn’t think that Andy’s threat was idle, preparing himself for being teased mercilessly. It took Andy at least ten minutes before he was even wrapping his lips around Joe’s cock, spending his time kissing the length of him, over Joe’s thighs, licking under Joe’s balls and taking them into his mouth before he was even nearly ready to go down on him.

But when Andy finally stopped fucking around, god. Joe was a fair player when it came to sex. He liked giving just as much as he liked receiving, and if not, he liked giving just a little more. It was hard for him to get off if he didn’t think his partner was into it, or didn’t want to be doing whatever at the time. It was one of the reasons why he loved getting head from Andy’s so much--it was obvious that Andy loved it, that he got off to it, too. It showed in his face, in his eyes when he opened them to look at Joe with a mouthful of cock.

And Andy was stupidly good at it, knowing all of Joe’s spots to hit. He was sloppy with it, pushing his face down and gagging on Joe’s cock, leaving thick spit behind that connected the head of Joe’s cock to his lips. Joe could only watch for so long before he had to take a break, tilt his head to the side and think of the queen or Bill Murray.

Eventually it was just too much though, cock all the way down Andy’s throat, opening his eyes to see Andy’s nose pressed to his stomach and it was any wonder how he was still able to form a coherent thought.

“Enough, enough,” Joe moaned out, fingers twisting in Andy’s hair to bring him off. Andy looked a little smug, sitting there with swollen, spit-slicked lips that Joe wanted to lick clean. “This is going to last, like, five seconds. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

“They make it seem like it lasts so much longer in the movies,” Andy said, kissing the tops of Joe’s thighs before moving up and laying on top of him. Which was great, because that meant that there could be more kissing, which Joe was completely behind.

He wasn’t sure if Andy started it first, or maybe it was him, but eventually they were just rolling their hips against one another, moaning quietly into their kiss. He felt a little like he was sixteen again, which was as exciting as it was frightening. Seconds away from blowing and yet too excited to do anything about it.

Joe could taste Andy’s smile as he rolled them over, pressing him down into the mattress with his weight. Andy hitched his legs around Joe’s waist just so they could get more friction, grinding against one another, everything a little too wet between them but it was perfect. Andy was perfect.

For a moment, Joe contemplated if they should use a condom or not. He didn’t know if Andy’s girl parts were even all there, and if they were, if they were fully functional. It seemed silly to worry about, and it only lasted a couple of seconds before Joe just didn’t care, sorta thought of a child with Andy’s dark blue eyes and his own crazy hair.

Fuck, he was getting old.

“Romantic evening is giving me a lot of feelings,” Joe reported, resting with his forearms on either side of Andy’s head, bracketing him in as he kissed him.

Andy hummed into the kiss. “Are they… romantic feelings?” he asked, his hands smoothing down Joe’s sides.

“Heart wrenchingly so,” Joe answered, pressing their foreheads together, feeling both their breaths catch when Andy moved a hand between them so he could line Joe up properly. There was more teasing, sliding Joe’s cock against his slit, Andy twitching faintly whenever the head pushed against his clit.

“Good,” Andy murmured, tilting his head up to catch Joe’s mouth in a kiss. “Now make love to me.”

That phrase. It almost had Joe laughing, rolling his eyes, because maybe that was a little real. But then Andy was arching towards him, and Joe pushing forward, beginning to slowly inch his way inside of Andy because as much as Andy said he was ready he was a dirty liar and Joe didn’t trust him for a second. It wasn’t that bad, though. The resistance was pretty well distributed, just Andy’s body getting used to Joe, feeling a lot like fucking Andy in the ass, sans the self-lubrication.

Once they were flush, Joe started kissing Andy again. Sweet little peppered kisses over his face, because his nose was scrunched up and his eyes were closed. “I told you so,” Joe singsonged, laughing when Andy shot him a dirty look.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. I just feel… full,” Andy answered, rolling his hips a little and making Joe shift inside of him.

There wasn’t much thrusting to begin with, just a lot of kissing and grinding. Joe needed Andy to relax before he even wanted to try to move, but this was also good. The friction and the tightness of Andy around him and Joe could totally get off to just rolling their hips together. Being this close meant that he could watch Andy’s eyes, the way his eyelashes fluttered before his eyes fell shut, sighing out softly. Joe wanted to kiss every inch of him, like he hadn’t already.

Joe followed Andy’s cues, especially when Andy cupped Joe’s hips and pushed him out just enough, just enough to feel the slick grip of Andy’s cunt, before pushing back in. He let Andy control the depth of the thrusts, because it didn’t matter to him. All that mattered was that he could bury his face in Andy’s neck, kiss the skin there, hold him close when he started to slowly fuck him.

There was that nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach again, just like when he and Andy had first started having sex. There wasn’t any pretense that they were just fucking around--even from the beginning, when they decided to start doing this, they were playing for keeps. It made Joe nervous to think about even now, having been in his mid twenties and sorta of just accepting that this person was going to be yours now, for as long as you two could stand it. Touring together with The Damned Things lead into doing some shit by themselves before coming back to Fall Out Boy, and that felt like coming home except in a different way because they were all together and things had felt right, watching Patrick and Pete share headphones and sit too close while Joe had his head in Andy’s lap for a catnap.

It was that same nervousness that he felt the first time he saw Andy naked and knew he had permission to look. The same nervousness when they had started fooling around. It wasn’t the bad sort of nervousness, the awkward mix of scared/anxious. It was more anticipatory, rolling in the pit of his stomach and occasionally fluttering like butterflies.

“Joe,” Andy gasped out, nails against Joe’s back now that they had a shallow rhythm going. There wasn’t any need for anything more, Joe knew. They weren’t going to last long and it wasn’t even embarrassing.

“You feel amazing,” Joe mumbled against Andy’s neck, kissing the tendon that was standing out. “You’re amazing.”

Fingers in Joe’s hair tugged him into a kiss, Andy’s free hand slipping between them. Joe had half a mind to push Andy’s fingers out of the way, start rubbing at Andy’s clit for him, but who better to do it than Andy himself? Plus, it allowed Joe to run his fingers through Andy’s hair, still bracing his weight on his forearms, shallow little pushes of his hips that were almost too much then.

Joe wanted to keep this moment forever. The way Andy looked in the candlelight, the way their bodies felt together, like old dogs learning new tricks. He really was getting sentimental, feeling his eyes sting a little when Andy’s vulnerable face was turned towards him, eyes opening slightly to look at Joe. Maybe not even at him, but through him, and that was the scariest part of all.

Feeling Andy’s body start to tense up was a little surreal, the two of them just staring at one another like they couldn’t stop. It was doing stupid things to Joe’s chest, making it feel too tight, especially when he got to watch Andy’s face screw up and his lips part in a loud gasp when he finally came. Joe had to kiss him through it, entire body focused on the feeling of Andy clamping around his cock, and that was too much for him, too. Watching Andy on top of being able to feel him, see him gasp and moan just for Joe, it was too much for his stupidly worked up brain. He was cumming, pushing his hips into Andy a couple of times, letting his orgasm work through him hard. Harder than it had in a long time, leaving him drained of any will to keep holding his weight up.

Romantic sex was definitely great, Joe decided, a little dazed as he rested his head against Andy’s chest. They were both sweaty and panting, Andy’s fingers curled in his hair, Joe’s arms tight around Andy’s body because he wasn’t letting go. Ever.

“Yeah, go team,” Andy cheered quietly when his heartbeat was starting to return to normal. It made Joe laugh softly, too tired to lift his head from listening to Andy’s heartbeat.

“Yeah Team Romantic Sex,” Joe joined a moment later, letting out some breathy noises to mock a crowd going wild.

They weren’t going anywhere, but Joe definitely needed to not crush Andy to death. Another downside to the change. But he did roll to the side, taking Andy with him, both of them resting on their hips now so they could rest their heads on the pillow and stare at one another lazily. Joe was stupidly lucky, but the best part was that he knew it. He knew Andy was the best thing about him, about his life, even with Fall Out Boy coming up a close second, because Andy wasn’t going to leave. He never was.

“I’m--” Joe started, watching Andy’s eyelashes flutter shut sleepily. “I’m so in love with you.”

Andy’s eyes opened again, looking at Joe quietly. It didn’t make Joe nervous really, just a little anxious, because it wasn’t as though they never told one another that they loved each other, they did, but even Joe knew the sheer amount of emotion in his voice.

“You’re a big sap,” Andy murmured, reaching a hand out to cup Joe’s cheek, tugging his face closer for a kiss. “I’m stupidly in love you with, and I’m a lucky man.”

“You are,” Joe agreed, the tension easing out of his chest. He didn’t want to, but he reached over, licking his fingers and putting out the candles because otherwise they would forget and burn the hotel down. “We both are, probably.”

“Probably,” Andy agreed, grabbing the comforter and tugging it over both of them, settling against Joe’s chest with a soft sort of yawn. “I had a really good time tonight.”

Joe wrapped an arm around his back, fingers coming up to rub the nape of Andy’s neck. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say before you kiss me good night and get out of the car?”

Andy leaned up to kiss Joe. It was a press of lips, little else, making Joe smile when he pulled away and settled down again.

“Good night. Now get out of my car.”


Andy didn’t turn back into a boy, unfortunately, but they did start fucking an astronomical amount. Fortunately.

Joe wasn’t old by any means, but he’d been in a committed relationship for about five years and, well, things eventually did slow down. There was probably a month span when Fall Out Boy first got back together that he and Andy hadn’t managed anything other than lazy handjobs at night or in the morning, too tired to do anything else. Running around constantly was exhausting and they were getting older, as shitty as it was. Sex was fine and dandy, but they had far surpassed that stage in their relationship where they could both agree they were too tired or bloated or hung over for sex and watch a movie instead.

Now, though, Joe was exhausted from having sex. Romantic Night had been wonderful, fantastic, but now that Andy was comfortable enough in his body and Joe wasn’t so freaked out, they had a lot of ground to cover with exploring Andy’s new bits and all the wonderful things that came with with (ie. self lubrication).

Fucking in closets before shows with Andy’s dress pulled up to his hips and his panties pushed aside, Joe cumming deep inside him to leave him messy and wet throughout the entire show. Waking up to Andy jerking him off lazily, or Joe working a hand between Andy’s legs to finger him awake. Joe laying on his back in their bunk, Andy on top of him, chest to back, while Joe fucked up inside of him. Fucking on practically every surface of the bus was another fun one for them, not so much Pete and Patrick, who had probably walked in on them having sex more times in their two-week span of sexual deviancy than they had in the five years they’d been together before.

Andy never did anything with Joe while he was drunk, but being high was a softer line. And, shit, Joe wished that he could have taken a picture so he could live in the moment his entire life when he was sitting there high as fuck, eating a bag of chips while Andy rode his cock slowly, because it had been perfect.

And it wasn’t just the sex. It was running around late at night together like teenagers, stupidly in love. It was kissing Andy under the stars, hands on his hips, lifting him up to sit up amps so they could kiss more easily. It was watching the sun set against the curve of Andy’s shoulder, laying in the grass with his head in Andy’s lap while they all jammed out in the late summer’s sun. It was Joe pulling Andy into his lap when he walked passed him on stage during an acoustic part, kissing him square on the mouth surrounded by hundreds of people that cheered for them so loudly it was deafening.

(There were pictures on the internet of them, of Joe and Az being precious, fans asking him how she was doing, if they were dating, and where was Andy. Joe was still blissfully happy with it, unable to much other than smile like a moron whenever anyone even mentioned Az or Andy.)

It was taking Andy out on more dates, not so formal but still wonderful. It was being able to hold his hand in public, pull him close for a kiss whenever he wanted, touch him freely. It was Andy looking over at him and smiling, just smiling, cheeks dimpled with it and Joe smiling back because how could he not? He was falling in love with Andy all over again, every piece of him, and it stopped feeling dirty or like he was cheating because maybe this Andy was here to stay and that would be okay, kinda. He guessed. He still missed Andy as a boy like hell, but Az was wonderful in her own way.


After over a month of Andy being a girl, Joe woke up with blood on himself and the sheets.

For a second, he thought that one of them had been hurt. It was a hotel room night, and maybe Andy liked being tied down sometimes, so. But he sat up, saw the blood, panicked heavily for fives minutes and checking them for cuts before realizing where the blood was coming from. And then that only let to more freaking about, afraid that he had hurt Andy, pushing him onto his back and parting his legs because maybe--

Andy woke up with a sleepy noise, pushing some hair out of his face before craning his neck.

“Did I hurt you?” Joe asked, worried.

Andy let out a noise that was something between a squawk and a scream. “No, I have my fucking period.”


Joe sat a little dumbly on the bed while Andy got out of bed and ran towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Joe couldn’t really tell if Andy was upset or embarrassed, because he at least didn’t need to be embarrassed. It was fine. Joe picked up his phone with one hand and called Hayley, picking at some dried flecks of blood on his leg with the other.

“I have you in my phone as Froman and it makes me laugh every time,” Hayley began in lieu of a greeting.

“Andy got his period,” Joe responded quietly.

“I’ll be over in five minutes,” she said, hanging up.

Joe took the five minutes to call room service for some new sheets, get up, and put some pants on. House keeping got there before Hayley, oddly enough, Joe handing them the stained sheets and letting them fix the bed up again with the new, fresh ones. Thankfully there was nothing on the mattress, because he didn’t need Andy feeling any worse than he probably did.

Hayley slipped into through the door as house keeping was leaving, dressed in sweats in a tanktop with her hair everywhere. Joe looked at her and they both just shared a look that spoke of a mutual agreement not to make fun of one another right then.

“I didn’t know what he wanted to used so I brought both--are you covered in blood?” Hayley interrupted herself, looking at the blood along Joe’s hands and the smears along his stomach from when Andy must have thrown a thigh over his body to cling.

“Maybe,” Joe responded. “It’s not a big deal, it’s just blood. Don’t make him feel worse about this.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Hayley said, shaking her head and putting her bag at the end of the bed. “Like I said, I didn’t know if she would--”

“He,” Joe corrected immediately, sitting down at the edge of the bed.

Hayley pinched an annoyed face. “Right, sorry, usually the context doesn’t really need masculine pronouns. But, I didn’t know what he would want to use so I brought a variety of both.”

If you polled a hundred men, or even ten, the top answer as to why they were thankful they were not women would be periods. Or maybe pregnancy. But top two would definitely be periods and pregnancy. Joe looked at the tampons first, different colors, not having any idea what they meant.

“Purple is light, yellow is regular, green is super,” Hayley explained, like that was supposed to mean something to him, sitting next to Joe on the bed and tucking her hand between her knees. “I brought the same for the pads.”

The shower stopped running at some point, the door opening to have Andy standing there in a bathrobe with his hair wrapped up in a towel. He looked somewhere between mortified and upset, because Joe was still kinda covered in blood and now there were tampons and pads everywhere.

“This is not happening,” Andy said.

“Babe, it’s completely natural--” Joe tried to say, cut off by Andy snapping at him, “This isn’t natural, Joe! I’m a fucking dude.”

He knew he shouldn’t be upset or affronted, because Andy had the right to be a little freaked out. A lot freaked out. So Joe just sighed, motioned a hand between Andy and Hayley until Hayley was nodding in understanding: take care of him. Joe pushed past Andy into the bathroom to grab a shower and maybe reconsider his life with some hot water involved.

He showered for maybe forty-five minutes, just standing under the spray for a while, shampooing and conditioning his hair, which was always an effort. He wasn’t mad at Andy, not really. He knew that Andy was stressed and he probably would be pretty pissed if he woke up with tits and a vagina, and then had to bleed from it for like a week. It was stupid that he got snapped at, and probably under any other circumstance he would be pissed, but now he just kinda felt a little dejected. Things had been really great lately. Like a fairy tale, which was stupid. Joe had already gotten his fairytale once upon a time, when they first started dating and Andy actually said yes.

By the time he walked out of the bathroom, Andy was sitting at the edge of the bed in one of Joe’s shirts with a tampon in his hand. He looked up at Joe, and it was hard to pretend like Joe didn’t know he’d been crying. Which, okay, even if he had thought to be mad he definitely couldn’t be because now Andy was really upset and it tugged at Joe.

“Can you help me put this in?” Andy asked, holding the tampon up to Joe and not meeting his eyes. Joe took it, looked at the little tube with his head cocked. “Just push in the barrell to the grip and then push down the little stick thing. I can’t… I can’t figure it out and it’s the last one so.”

“Sure,” Joe said through a shrug, because why not. One time during sex Andy shit on him. It was an accident, and it was embarrassing for both parties, but they got over it. This was barely anything. “Why don’t you lay back?”

Andy did so, flopping back onto the bed with his arms spread out and a long sigh. Joe kneeled at the foot of the bed, face heating up when he remembered the last time he’d done this was to eat Andy out before fucking him within an inch of his life last night.

Instead, he spread Andy’s tentative thighs, stroking the soft skin to relax him a little, maybe. It wasn’t that big of a deal, really. Joe used one hand to part Andy’s lips, slid the barrel in, pushed down the end, and viola. Done. There was a little blood on the barrel when it came out but that was easily thrown away in the trash, Joe coming to sit on the bed next to Andy.

“I can’t even feel it,” Andy said, maybe a little in awe, wiggling his hips before sitting up. “Well, the tampon. Everything just feels a little sore and crampy.”

“I’m sorry,” Joe said, and found that he genuinely was. He was genuinely sorry that Andy had to go through this, and then partially horrified because if Andy was menstruating then he definitely could have gotten pregnant since they hadn’t used a condom at all.

“I’m sorry for--” Andy waved his hand vaguely, but Joe understand. Sorry for earlier. Joe kissed Andy’s shoulder, resting his forehead against it. Apology accepted. “Bus time is coming.”

“Yeah, I think there’s a CVS around the corner and I wanna grab some smokes while they’re still cheap. Do you want to pack up and I’ll meet you on the bus?” Joe asked, getting up and shucking the towel in favor of finding some boxers and jeans. His shirt came after, tugging a tank top on, shaking out his wet hair a little.

“Yeah,” Andy said, not having moved from his spot on the bed, just watching Joe. “Sounds good.”

Joe tugged on some sneakers before leaning in, kissing Andy quick before heading out. He figured he could pick up some cigarettes, and maybe some Midol and chocolate for Andy, if they had anything vegan. Midol was definitely supposed to help with cramps, which Joe wasn’t really sure if he was having, and Andy always did love chocolate. There was even a nice worker there that walked him to it, congratulated him on being a great boyfriend.

Andy, however, didn’t think so.

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” Andy started once Joe held out the Midol and the chocolate bar. It was even good chocolate--Dove’s Dark Chocolate and Orange Peel.

“What?” Joe asked, genuinely confused, lowering his hands a little.

“Is this funny to you? Me on my period so you get me some Midol and chocolate?” Andy continued, shoving their overnight bag into Joe’s bunk and oh, shit.

“I’m not making fun of you!” Joe said quickly, turning to look at Andy. “I thought that, you know, it might help. The Midol is supposed to be really good with cramps, you know? Marie used to have me get it for her. And you like chocolate and I heard that helps too… for, I don’t know. Relaxing. It’s even vegan!” Joe wasn’t sure why he was so desperate sounding then, frowning a little while Andy just stared at him a little wide eyed.

“Shit,” Andy said under his breath, taking the Midol and chocolate, thank fuck. “I’m sorry, Joe. I just… I think Marcus heard something and he said something to me--”

That had Joe angry, flaring up quickly. “Where the fuck is he? I’ll fucking--”

Andy’s hands on his face stopped him, bringing him down for a soft kiss. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m just sorry, okay? I’m all fucked up and upset and I shouldn’t keep snapping at you. Thank you for the stuff.”

“You’re welcome,” Joe grumbled, still slightly miffed at Marcus and he would definitely be having a talk with him. But Andy was pressing close to his warmth so Joe wrapped his arms around him, rocking both of them in an attempt to soothe Andy a little.

It worked, more or less. Andy was yawning after a minute or so, pulling back and kissing Joe softly. “Come on, I’m exhausted. You want to watch a movie while I take a nap?”

Snuggling was definitely something that Joe could get behind, especially if it made Andy feel any better. So they slid into Andy’s bunk, which was effectively their bunk, and Andy slept with his face pressed into Joe’s chest while Joe watched Spotless Sunshine of the Eternal Mind and just felt bad. He felt awful that this was happening to Andy because of him. Sure, he’d enjoyed the sex a lot. Sex with girls was a lot less complicated than boys, and Andy was fucking gorgeous. Absolutely, insanely gorgeous and if Andy had really been a girl then she would be out of Joe’s league. They’d been having such a good time together it was almost easy to forget that there was anything else. But now, like this, Joe just felt bad that there wasn’t anything he could do, because he couldn’t think of anything to do.

Joe missed his boyfriend like hell. Laying there with Andy sleeping against his chest, things just weren’t the same. Andy as a girl wasn’t anything near Andy as a boy, and it wasn’t Andy’s fault. There were subtle differences, like Andy asked Joe for things that he would normally just do, or quiet moments of self-doubt that Andy never had before. And it wasn’t like Joe blamed him, he didn’t. It made him feel even more guilty that he missed Andy being a guy because he was sure as shit that no one missed Andy being a guy more than Andy.

It was just a really shitty cycle of feeling shitty and guilty.


Andy did end up getting some pretty bad cramps, which only made Joe feel worse. Andy had gone for a run, felt a little better, but by about noon he was curled up in the bunks in a sweatshirt and sweatpants, moaning vaguely in pain.

“What do we do?” Patrick asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

“I haven’t had to deal with someone on their period in, shit, a long time. Ashlee didn’t really get hers,” Pete answered, frowning slightly.

“I’ll just,” Joe started, moving towards the bunks and rummaging through their miscellaneous shit one before finding it with a triumphant little noise. It was just a little cloth bag with some beans in it that they used whenever their necks or shoulders hurt. “Maybe heat this up and it’ll help?

Patrick clapped in victory. “Good fucking idea, great idea.”

So Joe heated up the little pad until it was just shy of too hot, easing into their bunk to see Andy look at him out of one eye, the hood up over his face and covering most of it.

“Here,” Joe said quietly, moving a little to slide the heating pad up under the sweatshirt and rest low on Andy’s hips. “Maybe this will help a little.”

Andy didn’t look convinced, but he did wrap his arms around Joe, keep him there. That was okay, too, Joe wrapped his arm around Andy, his hand rubbing circles at the small of his back.

“This really fucking sucks,” Andy mumbled against Joe’s throat. “Like, I hate this.”

“I know, I know,” Joe said, feeling like a dickhead because he couldn’t exactly say that everything was alright, because Joe didn’t know how to fix it. “I’m here.”


Joe had a picture in his phone of Andy. Well, he had a lot of pictures in his phone of Andy, but Joe remembered the day perfectly--it was August 3rd, in Texas, and they’d gone for a walk. Andy had skipped ahead of him in the field they were in, that they were exploring because the bus had parked next to it. His tattoos were still visible since Sarah hadn’t covered them for the show yet, and he was in a white sundress with a straw hat on, true Texan style.

The wind had been blowing in the picture, one of Andy’s hands going to keep the hat on his head while the other arm was thrown up in the air. The tall grass was swaying with it, burnt yellow with the hard summer sun. Andy’s skin was illuminated with warm light, the sunset in front of him, his back to Joe, and Joe kinda wished that he could have gotten Andy’s face because he knew exactly what he would have seen--Andy’s head tilted back, eyes shut, a smile on his face.

He printed the picture out at a CVS in Phoenix, Arizona and taped it up in their bunk.


They had a show the next day that Andy played through, even though he was not particularly happy about it. He still sounded excellent, though, and no one noticed anything different other than those that knew that it was Andy there, not hot Az, and that Andy had his period.

Andy was a little grumbly, just like he’d been for the past couple of days, and normally he would just take off and walk for a couple hours with his iPod, but he was exhausted. The temptation to go out was a high one, but with Andy as miserable as he was, Joe wasn’t going to leave him. So they ended up doing some more snuggling, watching another movie.

Joe tugged Andy a closer for a hug, chest to chest, until Andy was hissing because his tits were sore and Joe had been squishing them.

“I remember when we used to fit together a little better,” Joe pointed out, a joke, but then Andy was letting out a hard sigh and pushing away from Joe.

“What?” Joe asked with a frown, watching Andy grab the hoodie from the end of the bed and shrug it on without answering him. “What?

“Nothing,” Andy snapped, sliding out of the bunk. Joe couldn’t even help himself this time. He couldn’t talk himself down, parse out how Andy could have felt about the situation. Joe’s anger lit like a fuse, quick and bright, sliding out of the bunk.

“What are you being a bitch about now?” he asked, because he was a fucking idiot. He knew he was an idiot when Andy turned on his heel, twisting to look at Joe with his eyes narrowed. But it had been like this for days, Andy getting annoyed or angry, and Joe was doing his fucking best to make sure that Andy was okay and it really, really wasn’t helping.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Andy asked, arms crossing over his chest before wincing. “Get the fuck out of my face.”

“Oh, no, no,” Joe said, and it was on. Oh god was it on. “Do you think I like this shit?”

“Do you think I like this!”

“It must be really hard for you for everyone to think you’re really hot and want to fuck you,” Joe spat back. “You get to play make believe and pretend for a little while, in the mean time I try to figure out how to help us out.”

If it was Andy, Andy Andy, then Joe would have just gotten right into his face. As is, girl Andy was acting like normal Andy it was confusing, Joe needing to tilt his head down to meet his eyes when he got into Joe’s face and hissed, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that you were still trying to figure this out. Do you know what it’s like to bleed for days straight? Hm? You cut your thumb last month and almost passed out!”

“It hurt, okay!” Joe yelled, arms going up in the air. “I’m sorry about you being on your fucking period! Really, I am! That’s gotta be really awful to have an excuse to be a raging bitch.” They were screaming now, Andy red in the face with it. Oddly enough, it was the closest to looking like actual Andy that he had this entire time.

Andy’s laugh was more of a bark. “Aren’t comments like that what got us in this mess in the first place, remember? Oh wait, not us. Just me! Because you’re a fucking asshole!”

“I am a fucking asshole! You happy now? I know this is my fault and I feel so fucking guilty!”

It must have hurt, because Andy paused, winced, before he was snarling. “Oh yeah, you seemed really guilty when suddenly I had tits and a pussy and you could fuck a girl again without cheating on me.” That hurt for a sharp second, stunning Joe briefly. Granted, it wasn’t as though Joe hadn’t initiated any sex during this time. He had. So had Andy. And he had waited until Andy was comfortable before they had sex, had tried to take care of him. Then he thought that they were just making the best out of a bad situation.

“God, I miss my boyfriend because I don’t know what the fuck you are but you are not him!” Joe screamed right back, right into Andy’s face, and for a hot second he thought that Andy was actually going to punch him. It looked like he was considering it. Instead, Andy turned around again, walking straight into the bathroom and slamming the door shut as hard as he could.

Joe turned around to see Pete and Patrick awkwardly standing there, Patrick looking anywhere but Joe and Pete looking a little disappointed.

“What?” Joe snapped, Pete’s brows furrowing and his mouth setting.

“Maybe you should go talk a walk, hothead,” Pete said, all of them pausing at the sound of a wet sob that just went straight through Joe like a knife. Every inch of him wanted to be in that bathroom then, curl around Andy, apologize, because of course he didn’t want to be a girl anymore than Joe wanted him to be and it was Joe’s fault.

“Yeah,” Joe said, scrubbing a hand through his hair and pushing past them to leave.


If asked, Joe really couldn’t say what he’d thought about the entire time he walked. It was pointless, absent, just moving for the sake of motion and letting himself cool off. They didn’t fight that often, but they did fight. Things weren’t perfect, they never were, and Joe didn’t think that this was a be all end all. He’d been an asshole, insensitive, and he’d apologize. Andy would forgive him, apologize too, and they could talk about it like normal human beings once Andy wasn’t so upset.

It was those thoughts that he carried with him, over and over again. Things would be okay. No matter how strong a relationship, fighting was never fun. Pete and Patrick did it a helluva lot more than he and Andy did, and it was still frightening every time. Patrick had a high threshold for Pete, but sometimes it snapped. Sometimes Pete snapped at Patrick, because Patrick was great but everyone had their flaws. They would scream and holler, a veritable war path established, but after a day or three at the most, they were fine. They could talk about it, talk to each other, and just remind one another that they loved them.

Of course, that didn’t mean that Andy and Joe didn’t run interference every so often. They were all close, but Andy and Patrick were similar people, and so were Joe and Pete, so it usually went that way. But Pete always took fighting hard, just as hard as he took anything involving Patrick. There was always that very real fear of what would I do without him, Joe? I wouldn’t even be alive that came to light every time they fought. They loved each other too much, had been through too much.

The same went for him and Andy, to a degree. As much as Joe knew that they weren’t going to break up, he couldn’t help but think about life not being with Andy. It made him inherently nervous, thinking about not being able to wake up wrapped around him, kiss him awake. It made him nervous to think about not spending holidays with him, or not being able to turn around and mouth I love you on stage so no one could see aside from them. It scared him to think of how much of himself was made up of a hole that Andy had carved over the years, settled in and filled.

It was last call for busses when Joe finally got back, punching the code in and hopping up the stairs. All was quiet for the most part, the sound of Marcus snoring in the background, the faint click of a laptop from Andy’s bunk. He hated the sick feeling in his stomach, the nervous/scared that tightened in his throat.

Andy didn’t even startle when Joe pushed the curtain back, just resting his head against the wall and looking at Joe. He didn’t look particularly mad, maybe just a hint of sadness, like the same thing Joe had been mulling over for the past two hours had been going through his head on repeat, too. What would Andy do without him? What would they do without each other?

Joe dropped his head in Andy’s lap, pressing his face into his stomach. It took maybe a couple of seconds before Andy was sighing out, pushing his fingers through Joe’s hair, but those seconds felt like hours.

“I’m sorry,” Joe said quietly into Andy’s (his) hoodie. “I’m really sorry.”

“I am, too,” Andy said, and like that, Joe could breathe again. He knew it was the same for Andy with how he tried to tug Joe into the bunk, Joe laughing out quietly and just doing it himself.

“I am an asshole,” Joe said again, curling up against Andy’s body, keeping his head in his lap to let Andy’s fingers work through his hair. “I was just… I miss you being a dude because things were so much easier. And I know you do too so it’s stupid and selfish for me to be upset but--”

“It’s not stupid and selfish,” Andy murmured through another sigh. “You can feel how you want. It’s… a big change.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Joe said again, because he wasn’t sure what else to say at this point. “I’m really fucking sorry.”

“S’okay,” Andy murmured, leaning down to kiss Joe’s forehead. “We’re both really sorry. That’s how these fight things work.”

“Yeah?” Joe asked, dragging Andy down enough to lay with him. He was careful, just in case Andy was sore still, wrapping him tightly in his arms.

“We can talk more about it tomorrow,” Andy murmured, pushing Joe’s hair away from his face and kissing his forehead lightly again.

“Yeah,” Joe agreed, feeling his chest unwind for the first time in hours. “We’ve got time.”


They did actually talk about it, sitting in the dewy grass outside the busses early in the morning so they wouldn’t wake anyone else on the bus. Joe told Andy how he felt about everything, about feeling guilty and angry and upset with himself, helpless than he couldn’t do anything, and then more selfish and guilty because Andy must have felt worse. Andy told him about how insecure he’d been, thinking that Joe maybe preferred him as a girl, which wasn’t the case at all as Joe vehemently interjected, and that things just got a little fucked up because they hadn’t really been saying what they wanted.

Joe managed to tell Andy that he thought that he was a beautiful woman and was very lucky to have him as such, but he also loved his boyfriend and preferred him. Andy told him that he was thankful for Joe being sensitive about it, because he recognized that Joe had tried. Andy cried a little, and maybe Joe did too, but things finally, actually, felt okay.

Things were fine, really. He and Andy had finally stopped tiptoeing around the fact that they were both upset that he was a girl and making up for that fact by trying desperately to make one another feel better. It was good to not have to try and pretend constantly, took a lot of strain off. If Andy was going to be a girl for a year, then they could probably make it work. That didn’t meant there weren’t going to be anymore fights, but at least they knew where they stood.



Joe really didn’t feel like drinking after the show, waving off Nick’s invitation with a faint smile. Andy was playing Old Republic in the dressing room until they kicked him out, so Joe wandered the parking lot a bit. He thought about grabbing his guitar, working through some stuff outside since it was a nice night, but on his way to the bus he saw Hayley sitting by herself and decided to join her.

“Hey,” she greeted casually, pressing a blade of grass between her thumbs and blowing into it to try and make noise.

“Hey,” Joe returned, stretching out in the slightly-damp grass right next to her, looking up at the stars.

It was comfortable, the silence between them. A lot had been happening lately and Joe was a little exhausted of it, but he definitely felt better. The past month had been a whirlwind of shit, too much and not enough, making his head and heart hurt but things would be okay. He was pretty certain of that. There was just one more thing he needed to do.

“Hey,” Joe said in the quiet of the night as he sat up, breaking their silence. “I’m sorry, you know?”

Hayley stopped blowing between her thumbs long enough to look at him with a tilt of her head. “For what?”

“For what I said that day. It really was, you know, insensitive,” he explained, motioning a little to her with his hand. “You know.”

“Oh, that,” Hayley said through a light laugh, shoving at Joe’s shoulder. He rolled with it, moved away before coming back to rest their shoulders together. “You know I don’t care.”

“I know, but just because I’m a good guy and we both know I’m a good guy and it was a joke doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have said it,” Joe continued, looking to her with a half-smile. “So, I’m sorry.”

“Uh, thank you?”

Joe laughed, slinging an arm around her shoulder, squishing her face against his chest while he aggressively rubbed his face into her hair. There was minimal fighting involved, eventually the two of them just resting against each other.

Joe’s phone broke the silence, pulling away in order to reach into the pockets of his jeans. Andy. “Hey babe,” he greeted, Hayley blowing a few kisses at him before she was falling back, arms above her head, to look up at the stars.

“My dick is back.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Joe said before he could help himself, startling Hayley enough to sit up again, look at him a little concerned. “All I had to fucking do was apologize?”

And then Hayley was laughing, loud and hard, reverberating off the busses in the parking lot. Joe swore again, hung up the phone, throwing it into his pocket before shoving her over roughly into the grass. She just continued to laugh, though, louder and harder, the sound of it following Joe into the parking lot and across, practically running to his bus.

Andy was already in the front waiting for him, shirtless and blessedly flat chested. The stubble on his face hurt when Joe kissed his jaw, his neck, nipped at his Adam’s apple before kissing his mouth.

“What did you do?” the same words that Andy had asked him over a month ago, but with a different sort of tone to it. Softer, and Joe could hear the smile in his voice. “I like… fainted, and then I woke up as a dude in a dress.”

“I fucking apologized to Hayley for what I said and then your dick came back, it’s an August miracle.” He was so fucking happy, kissing Andy again, rubbing his hands along the curve of his shoulders, broad and thick, not having to bend down nearly as much as he once had to.

“Well, okay,” Andy murmured between kisses, a little dazed but definitely into it by the way he was pressing up against Joe, blissfully hard.

“Dear god, fuck me,” Joe said quickly, biting just under the curve of Andy’s jaw. “Throw me around and talk to me and fuck me.”

“Only if you say that you’re my butt slut first,” Andy muttered, tilting his head back to let Joe suck at his neck. The tattoos were back, looking just right, and it took Joe a moment to recognize the request before he was laughing out.

“I’m your butt slut, and I hate you, please have sex with me,” Joe rattled off in rapid succession, moaning out when Andy slid a forearm under his ass to haul Joe up and carry him. Joe didn’t know where Pete or Patrick or anyone was, but they better get the fuck outta dodge because they both meant business tonight.

Stripping out of clothes was quick, solitary, Andy throwing Joe onto the bed before they started going at it. Joe started with his jeans first, tugging his shirt off before they were even down his knees, letting Andy tug them off completely since he’d only been wearing basketball shorts. Once they were both naked, Joe had to stop for a moment, hold Andy back while they both panted.

“Let me see, fuck let me see you,” Joe mumbled, skimming a hand down Andy’s chest to wrap around his cock, stroking him a few times. “Feel the same?”

“Yes,” Andy hissed out, moving further up, knees on either side of Joe’s face to press the head of his cock against his mouth. “Now open up.”

Joe did as he was told, because sometimes Andy used this voice that bore no argument and it was probably the hottest thing in the world. That, and he’d really missed Andy’s dick. He didn’t even bother to tease, no finesse whatsoever, just opening his mouth and letting Andy fuck into it shallowly enough to have them both panting and entire too worked up for grown ass men.

“Shit, Joe,” Andy rumbled, actually rumbled and it was his normal voice and Joe could only reach out, grab Andy by the throat, and flip them over he so he could actually go to down on Andy’s cock. Take him down, all the way down, because deepthroating was a trick he’d learned maybe two months into sucking cock and it was something he liked to exploit shamelessly now since it usually ended in Andy thrashing and crying out like he was now.

It could only last so long, not when they were both this aggressive. Andy sunk a hand into his hair, pulled hard, making Joe crawl up the length of his body so they could kiss sloppily.

“Start fingering yourself open,” Andy breathed into his mouth, making Joe moan once and then hiss when Andy wrapped his fingers around his cock and stroked a few times. “I’m going to go get some lube.”

Joe did as he was told, because it would really only end in good things for him. He worked a finger up into himself no problem, but it had been a while since he’d been fucked, so he knew he’d need Andy’s fingers and some lube before he was ready for anything.

After hearing a scream, it occurred to Joe that Andy had left the back naked, which only made him laugh out. There was some yelling, and when Andy opened the door to slide back in, he heard Patrick yell, “I’m glad your dick is back, now put it away!”

Joe was laughing as Andy fell ontop of him, kissing him hard, biting, but they were both smiling. Joe pulled his finger out of himself, letting Andy take over, kneeling between Joe’s splayed thighs like he belonged there and wasn’t that just perfect.

“I should have gotten a strap on,” Andy said, like people just say those sorts of things when they’re pushing two slicked fingers into your ass. “And fucked you within an inch of your life.”

“Oh my god,” Joe punched out, slapping a hand over his eyes because he could picture it. He could picture Andy as a girl, covered in all those beautiful tattoos. Narrow waist, huge hips and tits, just fucking into him hard enough to have his tits swaying and Joe sore for days afterwards. “Now you think of this!”

“I was a little preoccupied at the time!” Andy pointed out, fucking his fingers up and hard into Joe, making his hips jerk and a startled little sound leave his lips. “I’ll fuck you twice as hard now, for good measure. Butt slut.”

Joe’s laugh was quickly cut off by Andy on top of him again, those two fingers turning to three, burning hot and uncomfortable but Andy kissed him through it. He wanted to touch Andy all over, remember the curves of his real body, fit them together again like they had always fit--a little too much but not enough.

Instead, he got Andy hauling his legs up, spreading them wide, spitting on Joe’s cock in order to jerk him off while he fingered him. It was payback, Joe knew, for teasing Andy so much when he was a girl. But that was fine, Joe’s fingers twisting in the sheets, moving his hips to try and get more but fucking with four fingers was just awkward and he was already feeling a little too full. Just enough that Andy fucking him would burn sweet, but it wouldn’t actually hurt. That was what he needed.

After a while, after dragging Joe to the edge of cumming three times before backing off, Andy gave him just that. He pushed in impatient, sweat on his forehead and he was beautiful. Absolutely handsome. He was the most gorgeous thing that Joe had ever seen and he wanted to tell Andy that except Andy was pushing his cock inside Joe and that was it, show time.

The first slap of skin against skin made Joe throw his head back and laugh, hair all over the place, so far beyond happy that it didn’t matter when Andy pulled some of it by bracing his weight with a hand by Joe’s head. His other arm was hooked under Joe, strong at the small of his back to keep Joe up, fuck into him hard and fast like it was the only thing on his mind.

“Did you miss this?” Joe asked, because he was a little shit, resting his feet against the bed to help Andy keep him up while Andy pounded into him. “Did you miss me tight around your cock?”

Shut up,” Andy hissed, pulling back to look down the line of Joe, hands cupping his hips and pushing his thumbs into Joe’s hipbones hard enough to bruise. “I thought about it every fucking day.”

That was reassuring. Joe arched his back a little more, gave Andy a better angle, because he was a huge fan of the prostate and Andy was damn good at finding it. And once they did together, through trial and error and repeat repeat repeat, it was all a little bit of a blur. There was biting and kissing, the taste of blood in Joe’s mouth that he realized was from Andy because it was dribbling down his chin, caught on Joe’s tooth. There would be bruises and scratches, bright little red lines down Andy’s arms, over Joe’s chest when Andy grabbed his shoulders to fuck into him harder, stronger.

Joe belly was wet by the time Andy even thought to wrap a hand around him, rough even with that, making Joe bite into his shoulder to hide the whimper there. Bite too hard because then Andy was hissing, releasing Joe’s cock to pull his hair, snapping his head back for another kiss.

They were going to be sore and battered for days, but Joe couldn’t find it in him to care. He wanted to protest when Andy pulled out, biting off a sharp sound because he was getting flipped so effortlessly because Andy was Andy sized again and it was fantastic. Flipped onto his hands and knees, shoved around until Andy was spitting into his hole once, twice, fingers pushing in and then replaced with his cock. Joe couldn’t even move--one of Andy’s hands on his hip, the other in Joe’s hair to press his face in the mattress.

The angle let Joe thrust back a little better, gave Andy more purchase when he braced his feet against Joe’s calves and just fucked. Hard and loud, the entire bus aware of what was happening and Joe couldn’t care he was so happy. His asscheeks burnt something fierce from the constant slapping of Andy’s hips and occasionally Andy’s hand, his neck aching from Andy shoving his head down again and again, bracing some weight against it.

“Oh god, oh god,” Andy murmured, breathless, almost a sob, because Joe knew he was going to cum. It took a lot of conscious effort to clench up around Andy, over and over, until Andy actually did sob out a rough noise and fuck into Joe once, twice, before he was cumming. And, because Andy was a conscientious lover, he even remembered to take his fucking death grip off of Joe’s hair and begin to jerk him off in a way that was all business and pleasure.

Joe was just as close, eyes rolling into the back of his head and toes curling when he came with Andy still buried deep inside of him. It was too much for Andy usually, getting too sensitive after an orgasm, and Andy’s soft whimpers said that was still probably the case, but he didn’t pull out. He didn’t pull out because he knew Joe loved cumming on his cock, and because he loved Joe as much as Joe loved him.

They were a sweaty, sloppy, sated mess, covered in blood, sweat, tears, and cum. Joe fell onto his hip as soon as Andy let go of him, wanting to curl up a little, but then Andy was panting heavily on his back beside him. Everything hurt but everything was so great, laughter bubbling in Joe’s chest before Andy was laughing too, the both of them unable to stop.

“We’re fucking animals!” Joe yelled the last part over Andy laughing, pressing his palms to his eyes with his cheeks hurting from smiling too much.

“Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!” was yelled through the door by Pete, making them both laugh all over again.

The cool down was nice, Andy and Joe just laying there together with Joe on his hip and Andy on his back, their laced fingers the only point of contact. When Joe could breathe and think properly again he rolled over, right against Andy’s side, propping himself up on an elbow and whistling softly.

“These will look so badass on stage,” Joe offered, his fingertip tracing some of the scratches on Andy’s arms. Some parts were even bleeding sluggishly, which made Joe feel kinda bad but not really.

Andy’s hum said he didn’t care either. “I wouldn’t show anyone your back or chest,” Andy pointed out, and yeah, come to think of it there was that fresh bite that definitely said Andy’s nails had been there.

Andy’s lip was swollen from where Joe must have bitten him, the bleeding stopped, so Joe kissed him softly. One kiss turned into two, and then three, Joe wrapping his arms tight around Andy and letting out a stuttered breath.

“I’ve been missing you to death,” Joe whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

“Progress report: don’t quote our band at me,” Andy mumbled, cupping Joe’s jaw and kissing him right back.


The next day, Andy was still a dude and Joe couldn’t be happier.

“Jesus Christ,” Pete said as soon as he saw him, Joe only wearing a pair of sweats. “That’s some victory sex.”

“Have Patrick turn into a girl sometime and we’ll see how it goes,” Joe croaked back, going into the fridge for some orange juice and drinking straight from the carton.

“Your back looks like you were mauled by a wild cat,” Pete continued, standing up and reaching out to touch. Joe squirmed away minutely, the skin sensitive still, glaring over his shoulder at Pete. He knew what he looked like--both hips bruised, scratches down over his back and chest, vivid bite marks along his collar. There was also a second entrance to hell between his asscheeks, and he knew he was going to be sore for days. He was happy with it, though. It meant that Andy was back to being Andy.

Speaking of.

“That’s mine, you neanderthal,” Andy said, walking onto the bus with Patrick but more importantly coffee. Joe took his with a kiss, putting the OJ back in the fridge. “You could have at least used a glass. I don’t know where your mouth has been.”

“Oh really?” Joe asked, raising his brows and shimmying a little closer to Andy. “I could give you a replay.”

“Oh, please do,” Patrick said, sitting down next to Pete and handing him his coffee. The two of them were a deadly pair: Patrick leaning with his elbow on his knee and his chin braced against his fist, Pete leaning forward to look at both of them intently. “We so desperately want the visual recording that went with the audio.”

“You try not getting fucked for a month and then come talk to me,” Joe answered, nonplussed.

Joe could see the scratches down Andy’s arms, knew that if he pulled Andy’s shirt to the side he would see the thick bruise on his shoulder as well. For the first time in a month, Joe felt like he could breathe again. An easy in and out, sitting down on the couch with Andy resting next to him, debating the merits of marathoning Star Wars during their next travel stretch with Patrick.

This was it. This was home.


“As you guys can see, Andy is back,” Patrick said, untwisting the cap of his water bottle while the crowd cheered loudly. It kept going and going, Andy smiling on the jumbotron, resting his hands over his face to hide it before waving lightly. “We’re really glad to have him back, though I think Az did a really great job. Can we give her a round of applause?”

Joe could barely hear anything over the clapping, which was good. Az had definitely done her job well. “And even though Andy isn’t nearly as cute as Az, we’re definitely glad that we have him back so we can finish this tour off with a bang!”

The crowd’s cheering was deafening, Joe smirking a little and running through some chords in an absent way. He caught Andy’s eye, knowing, mouthing I love you before turning around, starting in on Where Is Your Boy Tonight.


Joe was hungover beyond belief, alone in Andy’s bunk because Andy did things like get up early and run. He’d stumbled in at around 4am with Pete, leaving the Paramore crew to go back to their own bus. They’d tried to be quiet, but Patrick was already up, which lead to a lot of making out that Joe did not need to see while he was trying to fix a sandwich and drink some water before slipping into bed with Andy. If he was a nicer boyfriend he could have just slept in his own, but he wasn’t, and Andy was a saint.

The alarm had gone off at six for Andy, rolling over Joe, uncaring that Joe had been sleeping, because Andy wasn’t really a saint. Now Joe was awake, blinking his eyes open at almost two in the afternoon. They didn’t have a show until later, didn’t have anywhere to be, but he could hear talking and laughter on the bus that made him feel at home. He rested on his back, scratching absently at his stomach, ignoring his hardon and looking at the pictures in their bunk. Stupid shit, mostly, like letters from home and one picture of Joe’s guitar collection that Andy had taken and taped up because he was a dick. Some of their family, Christmas cards they’d received, and Joe’s dog. One picture of the band, right after their first show off of hiatus. That one that Joe had taped up of Andy in the field in Texas. All familiar little things.

There were two that caught his eye, though. It was the picture of them, not them them, but when Andy had been a girl. It was right before their date, too, when Pete had busted into their hotel room to take pictures that he’d never seen until now. This one was nice, though. Their bodies were turned into one another, Joe’s arm around Andy’s waist and his hand at his jaw because it looked like he’d been ready to kiss him. Instead they were laughing, Joe’s head thrown back with it, the laughter on Andy’s lips but his eyes were on Joe.

The second was still them, still part of that photo set. Andy was looking at the camera, smiling wide, all red lipstick and beautiful face that was flawless. And this time it was Joe looked at Andy like he was hopelessly in love, and that much was true. It didn’t really matter what Andy looked like, Joe was just hopelessly in love with him.

Rolling out of the bunk required effort, but Joe did it. He hiked up his basketball shorts, followed the sounds of yelling to the back room. Patrick and Andy were there, playing something on the xbox, Pete on the bed with his laptop.

“You fucking fucker,” Andy hissed, slamming buttons while Patrick just laughed, because he was ruthless with video games. Andy lost, or died, Joe didn’t know, but then he was looking up at Joe with that same look. That same one in the picture and god did they always look at each other like that?

“What?” Andy asked, confused.

“Nothing,” Joe answered, flopping down next to Pete on the bed, using his thigh as a pillow.


The tour ended in Cali, which meant that they could crash at Pete’s place. Pete’s place also meant their own bed, kinda, and Bronx, which was probably the best part of LA. He and Andy were never fond of the city, since Andy still loved Milwaukee and Joe was more partial to NYC, but they loved Bronx, loved spending time with him. Bronx made Joe wonder if he should talk to Andy about kids, walking in on the two of them practicing some drums, or passed out on the couch with Adventure Time on the TV.

Without the hustle and bustle of tour, it was easier to fall into being with one another. They could relax a little, recuperate, because Joe loved tour but you never really realized how exhausting it was until you had some time off. Especially when you could have your own kitchen and cook again.

He’d been thinking about the idea for a while, ever since he and Andy had gone out on their date. It was relatively easy--get Patrick to lure Andy out for a while, convince Pete to help him cook because they were both disasters in the kitchen but together they could pull off at least pasta. Add in thirty pillar candles, a small table with half a dozen roses, and some music, by the time Andy came home and Patrick shoved him through the slider, a romantic dinner for two was set.

It felt a lot more natural to be sitting in Pete’s backyard than it had in that restaurant. He could see Andy’s eyes light up, pressing a hand over his mouth to hide his smile before looking away from Joe.

“You sap,” Andy accused, though he let Joe tug him into a hug, kiss him sweetly.

“I sap for only you,” Joe mumbled, sharing Andy’s smile.

They talked, ate dinner, danced. Everything they had done that night except it felt a lot different. Joe had known their relationship to be strong before, maybe nothing like Pete and Patrick’s, but they were secure. Now, now it just seemed so much more like cement. They were good together. They made each other better. They were definitely supposed to be together and Joe didn’t want anyone else.

Romantic sex was just as good, if not better, with the actual Andy sprawled out underneath Joe. Joe’s chest squeezed and tightened just like it had that night, but there was so much more to it. Looking at how Andy’s skin turned warm in the candlelight, the tattoos almost moving because of the flickering, it was too much. Way too much. It made Joe hide his face in the curve of Andy’s neck because he felt too vulnerable.

Laying together afterward, curled up against Andy’s back, half asleep, Joe thought marry me. He didn't even realize he said it out loud until Andy’s fingers stopped the lazy circles they’d been tracing on Joe’s forearm, lifting his head minutely before dropping it down onto the pillow. “Yeah, okay,” he answered, starting up the circles again, and that was that.


Joe had a picture in his phone of Andy. Well, he had a lot of pictures in his phone of Andy, but this one was from that time, when Joe had set out a nice dinner for them in Pete’s backyard and he asked Andy to marry him. He’d taken it with his phone, a little shaky, but it was probably his favorite. It was just Andy, sitting there, smiling at him. The candlelight made his face warm, eyes looking dark in the night, not looking at the camera but at Joe. He was smiling, a little too wide, like he tended to when it was just him and Joe, and maybe that was why Joe loved it so much. It was really the only picture that showed Andy as he loved him--eyes happy, crinkling at the sides with a smile.

He printed the picture out at a CVS in New York, and taped it up in their bunk at the start of their new tour.