Albus Potter was helplessly blind. This was the only possible explanation, for he failed to notice he was in love with his very own best friend. He had only realized it on the summer before their 5th year, but somehow he was managing to keep it a secret through the whole year or that was it until the fatidic day happened. After all what would Scorpius even say? He would surely reject him, and it wasn't likely he'd survive that.
He asked himself how he hadn't noticed it sooner, how his skin would felt electric after they touched here and there, how his heart would skip beat when Scorpius said his name, how every time he caught sight of the blond guy he would feel like there were butterflies in his stomach, how he longed to be around his best friend, to hear his voice, to look at him, to just be next to him.
But then again who wouldn't fall in love with Scorpius Malfoy with his long beautiful blond hair and his equally pretty eyelashes, with his stupid cocky smile and his eyes that were so green Al wanted to drown in them. You wouldn't care Scorpius was smarter than you, smart made Scorp sexy, you wouldn't care he always made bad jokes, you wouldn't care he was completely oblivious about how perfect he was, you wouldn't care he was a better person than you were, you wouldn't care about rumors. What a wonderful suffering it was to be in love with him.
It was on that day that the Malfoy boy found out about his best friend ridiculous crush. Al was sitting in the common room eating breakfast and pretending to read a book while thinking about Scorpius when suddenly his cousin Rose snapped her fingers in front of his eyes also snapping him out of his infamous daydreams.
"Hello! Earth to Albus!" She said, looking pissed. She usually always looked pissed.
"Oh sorry Rose I got caught up in the book that's all" he answered shyly instantly turning almost as red as a tomato.
"Sure thing" she said rolling her eyes. "Can you tell your stupid best friend to stop asking me out? I'll go on the stupid date with him"
"Scorpius is not stupi... WAIT YOU WILL WHAT?" He said his jaw dropping to the ground.
"Go out on the date with him. I'll go. I mean as long as he shuts up about it after I do so" she said, as it it was completely logical.
"You are going on a date with Scorp? You?" He asked still in disbelief
"Why, yes, that's the plan" she was now looking at her nails, as if going on a date with the most handsome boy ever and, by doing so, breaking Al's heart was no big deal.
"So you will actually go out with him? You and Scorpius will go on a date?"
"Like for real?"
"The hell Al are you dumb or something? I just told you like 3 times already!" She said, rolling her eyes,again, and sounding more annoyed than normally "Anyway, since you don't seem to get any of what I'm telling you, I'll have to tell him myself! See you" immediately turning on her back she started to walk away with a few frustrated noises. As she was walking away Al got up and rushed to be on her heels.
"Rose! Rose I-I don't think you should go out with him!" he said desperately trying to think of something or a good excuse to avoid this tragedy. His heart would hurt every time Scorp talked about Rose, as if she was the most beautiful and brilliant girl he'd met and as if girls were special just because they were girls (which in Potter's opinion was totally unfair). If she went on a date with him, and they were all by themselves for a whole night he'd never shut up, and Al, Al wouldn't just have to hear about it every single damn day, he'd know it. He couldn't stand the idea of it.
"What did you say Al? Couldn't quite hear you" she said, still looking annoyed.
"I said" He started and tried to think of something but nothing came to his mind "I said that I don't think you should go on a date with Scorpius"
She looked surprised to say the least, and actually turned to fully face Albus.
"You don't? Why would you think such thing?" She said raising one of her thick eyebrows.
"I-I don't think you two match? Yes you wouldn't match at all, ask anyone you two wouldn't match" it was a weak point, but he couldn't come up with anything else, it's not like he could say Scorpius didn't like her, she'd know it was a lie and he liked the Malfoy boy too much to say something mean about him.
"Jesus Albus! Calm down it's a date we are not getting engaged. Plus he's the one who's always begging and bugging me to go out with him, why would you try to convince me otherwise? Aren't you his best friend or something?"
"Of corse I am! I just... I mean you don't really like him and I don't want him to get hurt" which was true, if Rose hurt Scorpius, Albus would never forgive her.
"He won't get hurt Al, I'll tell him exactly my intentions and believe me I won't sugar coat it. There is no need to worry about that" she said treating the situation, again, as if it wasn't that important.
"Look, if you want I can just try and convince him to stop bugging you and all, you don't have to go out with him" Al was nearly getting on his knees to beg her to not do it.
"It's okay Al, I think it will be a good experience, he is interesting after all, and kinda cute too? I don't quite know but I do want to go out with him, even thought he is an annoying brat"
Albus instantly felt his heart drop, Rose actually wanted to go out with Scorp? Al was screwed, screwed, screwed, screwed.
"Are you sure Rose? I mean I don't think you two would make a good pair at all, I mean no match! And he'd mess up your studies and stuff"
"Albus please stop. I'm going out with him and that's it. Okay?"
"But Rosie I-"
But he was cut off by a (in his opinion) much nicer and harmonious voice, a voice that made his knees weak and tied his stomach in knots.
"Hi" the tall blond guy said smiling widely at both of them. Al wanted to stare at that perfect smile forever, it felt like spring, like blooming, shinning, perfumed and charming, it felt light and it felt good. All that, could be felt in a smile, that is, if it was Scorpius smiling, it was a smile that could save the world but ruin the Slytherin-Potter's life. "Hello pretty lady" Scorp added, now looking at Rose, still with a gentle but now slightly more flirty and cocky smile.
"Hi Scorpius" Rose said not looking all that pleased but not pissed at all, which Al was sure his best friend would take as a start, since the taller boy was beginning to think the only expression the girl could make was one of pure disappointment, annoyance boredom and disapproval all mixed up.
"Strange to see you two talking" Scorpius said still smiling
"Nonsense! We are cousins we talk all the time back home!" Rose said and Al only let out a muffled 'yeah'.
"Oh not much in Hogwarts, I suppose that is why I am confused, pardon me." He said shrugging and his hand went to put his hair back. The other boy wanted to grab his hand right there and fix Scorpius hair himself. But he couldn't and he wouldn't.
"What were you talking about anyway?" the Malfoy boy asked and Albus wanted to say something else and keep his best friend away from Rose forever, so the date would never ever happen. Never.
But that didn't happen. What happened was that Rose faced Scorpius and her expression was even slightly happy, then she opened her freaking mouth and just fucking said it:
"I'll go on a date with you. I mean you are always asking so I'll go, but I'm just going so you'll stop bugging me and shut up, not because I like you or anything. Understand?"
Scorpius face lit up like a Christmas tree and Al felt his heart crunch and Merlin it hurt, it hurt so much he had to blink away the tears. His friend was about to say something but he couldn't stand to witness any of it, so he turned around and walked away rather fast. He wouldn't let anyone see him cry.
After a barely a couple of tears he decided that he wasn't going to let that stupid date get to him, and forced himself to stop. So he wiped them away and did his best to look presentable. But he had already lost his first class hiding in the bathroom, so he decided to at least spend his time on the library. And he really did try to read about something school related, but just as he was concentrating a pair of hands were pressed on both his shoulders. It was such a simple gesture but Al could tell it was Scorp, these gestures used to calm him down but ever since the boy became aware of his feelings these things made him tense up.
"You weren't in class but you are studying? That's nothing like you Mr. Potter" he had such a beautiful voice.
"Hey! I do study! And why aren't you in class? That's certainly very very unlike you Mr. Malfoy"
"Oh you see my best friend wasn't there, you know the same one who acted weird this morning? So I wanted to check up on him and make sure he is alright. He's worth skipping first period for" Al's heart skipped a beat but he was used to it by now, they had gone half a year like this, he was a pro at playing it cool.
"Everything is worth skipping first period, it's history of magic it's not only boring but also useless" he mumbled
"Hey it's not useless! And it is interesting c'mon!"
Al rolled his eyes, of course the fucking nerd his best friend was would like History of Magic.
"Not as interesting as Quidditch tho"
"Oh never! What could ever be more interesting than such a virtuous activity!" Scorpius said and both of them were soon laughing until they could barely breath. Their hatred for the sport had sarcastic jokes always coming and they'd always laugh.
"Are you okay Al?" Scorpius asked when they finally stopped laughing, his expression had now morphed into a concerned one.
"Yeah Scorp I'm okay, just a bit stressed"
"Yeah? What about?"
"I don't quite know to be honest" he lied feeling his stomach upside down with guilty.
"Yeah" he lied again, feeling even worse.
"You know you can tell me anything and everything right?"
"Yes I know" he lied again averting his eyes, the guilty feeling was creeping into him. He hated lying to Scorpius
"Good" the other boy said smiling which kinda made Albus feel guiltier but at the same time that smile no matter what would always make his day better and he smiled back. It was a tired smile but an honest one.
"So I have a date with Rose!"
"Yeah I know I was there" Al said looking down
"I know, it's just wow it's Rose"
"Yeah I know Scorp. Could you try to help me with a few subjects tho? You know we'll have OWLS soon and stuff"
"Merlin Al, don't say and stuff"
"Noted. So, will you help me? Or would you rather play Quidditch?" the other boy rolled his eyes but let out a laugh
"Sure. But we have to rush soon, Transfiguration starts at eleven forty"
"Okay douchebag now teach me something useless"
"It's not useless"
"Yes it is. Now don't be a disappointment like me and show me how smart you are"
"You are not a disappointment Al" the boy furred his eyebrows
"Yes I am, I'm a Potter who got into Slytherin and is best friends with a Malfoy, whom is his only friend, must I mention I even turned back time just to fuck up multiple times?" And of course I'm also gay and in love with you. He added in his head. He wasn't sad about what he just said (maybe a little about what he thought) it was kind of a joke to him already, it stopped mattering and it was even funny to think about it sometimes, so he was laughing a bit while saying it, and with honesty.
"Well at least I'd say I'm the best disappointment"
"Certainly the best I've ever met, that i can assure you." Both boys were now laughing, sometimes they needed to laugh problems off.
"Shouldn't we be quieter? We are in the library and all"
"Oh shut up Malfoy, you know nothing about the library, you are only ever at the Quidditch field" that was the last straw both boys fell into laughter, they were laughing so much they couldn't breath, it was enough for Mrs. Prince to threaten to kick them off. To which Scorpius responded trying to stop and to make Al stop. But as soon as she left, the brown haired boy was already laughing, and he didn't know but Scorpius would never be able to stop himself from joining such an lovely and enthusiastic sound. The young Potter liked the young Malfoy laugh quite a lot as well.
Scorpius Malfoy and Rose Granger-Weasley certainly didn't waste time. They had set the date immediately, actually on the same night. Al tried to forget about the god-dammed date all day and distract himself with school, thoughts on a certain blond guy, but as soon as they got to the dungeons his friend left his side and rushed to get changed, he didn't take long and left with a smile on his face. A fucking smile.
It was past eleven now and Al couldn't sleep at all, he went down to the common room and just stayed there, he sat near the so called window where you could see the lake. There he was, at nearly midnight and he was sitting next to a cold window watching the lake and missing his best friend, while Scorpius was out there with a girl, on a date. Out with a girl, having fun because Scorpius liked girls and not boys, and certainly not Albus. Not Albus. He would never like Albus. He liked Rose.
And that was when Albus Severus Potter felt his heart choke and fall out of his chest, crashing to the ground, it shattered completely and he knew that if he tried to catch all the pieces up he'd only cut his hands. It was awful, his chest hurt.
That's when the tears came, and they wouldn't stop coming, soon his vision was a complete blur, then he started hiccuping, his crying was getting louder and louder and honestly he felt like the world was ending, he had never felt so alone.That was so pathetic, this whole situation was pathetic, his whole life was pathetic, he was pathetic, and that made him cry harder, he had never felt so empty. He was a mess.
He was crying his heart and lungs out when Scorp came back. He was so deplorable he didn't even notice the other boy coming near him
"Al? Al! Why are you crying?" Scorpius asked but Al just cried even harder, he didn't want his friend to see him like that, he didn't even want to see his friend, but he did, he wanted Scorp to be there when he cried.
"Shhh Al it's okay" Scorpius said sitting down besides Al and attempting to hug him but the boy dodge.
"Al? What happened? Please tell me I I just want to help you"
"R-rose" Al muttered between hiccups.
"Rose? Did she so something?"
"N-No she didn't, she didn't" He managed to let out only to cry harder
"Then what? What happened?" Al couldn't even control himself so he just let it all out.
"S-she she she went out with you, you a-and her o-on a date and I d-don't blame her for wanting to I mean look at you, for fucks sake Scorpius you are so fucking beautiful everything about you is beautiful, and you are funny and s-smart and nice and so fucking hot, oh my Merlin you are so fucking nice and so fucking hot I want to touch your hair it honestly looks so soft and beautiful and your eyes they are the most beautiful thing in the whole entire world, I wish I could drown in them, and and and I want to feel your skin and your hands and I don't ever want you to go out with Rose or anyone that isn't me because it hurts it hurts so much it hurts so fucking much it fucking hurts" He chocked out faster than he thought he ever could, his tears still rolling down his cheek, Scorpius looked shocked and in a loss of words, and his heart broke again. Scorpius was so shocked, he'd never talk to Albus again, never, but there was no way out now. "I love you" he whispered.
"Al I-" Scorp tried to say but Al cut him off.
"No, it's okay really" And he dared to smile, a smile so sad it could break anyone's heart.
"Al no! Listen to me ok? When I was younger no one my age was ever around so I never knew what a friend was. And when I got into the train in the first year, I was so sure I wouldn't have any friends at all I didn't even want to try. But you talked to me, you were my friend, you taught me what a friend was like. And you sticked with me even when things weren't that nice by my side, even when people said horrible things about me, and you were always the good thing in my life you know? Even when it got dark. I don't care about grades, I don't care if people say I'm Voldemort son, I don't care about OWLS I don't care about Rose I don't even care about myself, you are literally the one thing I care about the most. I've loved you ever since I met you Al, you are literally the best person, no matter what you think, I can talk with you about anything I love talking to you, I love your eyes, I love your voice, I love your hair, I love your hands, I love your personality, I love how you hate Quidditch, I love how you annoy me, I love your dumbass jokes, I love how I can see your teeth when you are talking, I love it when you smile, I love it when you think I can't hear you singing when I actually can, I love your laugh, I love every single thing about you, all those things you call your flaws I love them and I love the way that you are. I would die for you in a heartbeat, I would do anything for you. I fucking love you Al"
Al was so shocked he took a while to notice Scorpius had both his hands on his face, his long fingers caressing his cheek, wiping away the tears.
"B-but then why? why would you go on a date with Rose? Why would you always say you have a crush on her?" Al asked.
"The same reason you told me you were alright this morning, I thought you'd hate me if you knew the truth, I thought I'd lose you. I thought you'd... You know"
"I would what?"
"Leave me, I thought you'd leave me, and I can't lose you Al, I really can't fucking lose you"
"I wouldn't, I-I won't. Promise."
"Good." can I kiss you" the question got Albus off guard, Scorpius hands were still cupping his face from wiping the tears, and Al just nodded in a loss of words but Scorpius just looked at him waiting for words.
"Y-yes, yes please" and to that Scorpius smiled and leaned in.
It was soft wet and reckless, kind of messy but undeniably good, Al felt like his heart was back on his chest, beating faster than what he thought was humanly possible. Their lips moved in perfect sync, so perfect he couldn't help but think his lips were made to kiss Scorpius Malfoy. He felt so good, it was so good but they stopped too soon, for the kiss suddenly became watery and salty. At first Al thought the other boy was crying but then he realized it was himself, and he had no idea as to why.
"Al? Why are you crying my love?" Scorpius said as Al felt his heart loop at the pet name "Are you okay? Oh. Is this okay?" Scorpius face was even more worried than before.
"Yes,yes it's okay it's good it's fantastic I just, I don't" stupid tears why wouldn't they stop coming? "I don't know"
"Oh, it's okay if you are not sure I'm sorry I rushed you it's ju-"
"No!" Al immediately stopped him "I want this okay? I want to kiss you oh my god that was so good please"
"Then why are you crying?"
"I don't know, I don't fucking know" he said but he couldn't stop crying no matter how angry he got at himself, he even choked on his tears.
"Shh it's okay, come here" Scorp said hugging Al, pulling him so close the boy was now sat on the others lap "Cry all you want love, I'm not letting go till you stop"
I never want you to let go, Al thought but couldn't say it so he just cried on Scorpius shoulder. It felt like he hadn't cried in ages. Like his mind was a desert, so dry and tore apart, so rough and full of hurt, the tears were the rain bringing life, turning the desert into a leviable place for once, washing away the hurt. The Dry was over, we'd dance and love again, the birds would come back, the rivers would grow again. Life had come back, and it had brought love, so much love, requited love. It was all new to him. But he knew it would be a good change. So he just let it all out, he just let go of his fears and held into the other boy. Oh and his love held him so close, Scorpius fingers were pressed gently into him and his arms felt like a shelter. He had never felt so complete, so whole. So loved. Loved by Scorpius. Scorpius love. Oh how it felt good to be loved by Scorpius Malfoy.
After a long while that didn't feel that much he finally stopped, as if he'd (finally) run out of tears, but he didn't move. He just laid his head against Scorp's shoulder. And they remained like that, in silence. It was a good silence, it didn't feel awkward, boring or insignificant, it felt like peace, it was comforting, it said what both of them could never put into words.
However the blonde guy let go of Al at some point and stranded up, looking down at Potter his smile was gentle and, his beautiful eyes, kind.
"C'mon" he said offering his hand "We should get some sleep, tomorrow will be a long day"
"Okay" Al said grabbing the other's hand. But instead of getting up he pulled Scorpius down, surprising the other boy. "Scorp"
"Can you kiss me again?"
This time there were no tears and Al second kiss was even better than his first one.