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Wedding of the Year

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If Bruce had it his way, they would have eloped on a private island, far away from the darkness and drama that was and always will be, Gotham City. He would bring only Alfred as a witness (and also because the butler would kill him for not inviting him) and send the kids a proper "Just Married" video email. He figured that would have been appropriate enough. Maybe some of them would have been irritated by the lack of notice, but everyone knew they were engaged and the older ones especially understood why time and discretion were so crucial to the secret lives they led. They'd eventually offer their support.

However, he did not get to have it his way at all, which was incredibly ironic given it was his wedding day. Selina would have likely opted for a more private affair as well, but apparently the public needed to know they could trust Bruce Wayne as mayor and sneaking away to have a quick and secret wedding seemed suspiciously like something the playboy they assumed he was would do. Nobody wanted that Bruce Wayne to protect their city from corruption. No one trusted that Bruce Wayne could. So, he was offered counsel by Lucius and Alfred along with statistics drawn up by Tim and Barbara that he should have a more public wedding. 

It wasn't open to the public, but it would be in Gotham and he knew they'd be floored with photographers when they left the church. He still wanted it to be a small get together, as small as possible, but Alfred insisted he actually enjoy the most important day of his life and invite friends. Bruce didn't enjoy having other heroes taken away from the homes they protected to see him stand on an alter and say "I do", but Selina agreed that if they were going to do this, they might as well go big for once in their lives. 

"You've got your vows, right, Master Bruce?" Alfred straightened his tie as he had the first day he'd taken him to school after his parents died. He'd been straightening his tie, even if he didn't need it, ever since. He wondered if that was a tic Selina would take over from now on. Silently, he hoped not. His oldest friend and mentor-- neigh, father figure, stood before him and looked up at him with hopeful and kind eyes as he always had. He remembered a day when he was a foot smaller than Alfred Pennyworth, but in Bruce Wayne's eyes, he would always be lesser of a man. Everyone would. 

Bruce smiled and patted his chest, indicating he had the note in his breast pocket. 

"Very well." He nodded. "The boys are all ready. I might say, they all clean up quite nice when they want."

"They're doing it for me. They hate dressing up, well, except Dick. He loves hamming it up."

"Ah, yes, Master Richard has always had a propensity for flair."

"And always will. Although, I'm still unsure about Harleen and Pamela being in my wedding."

"You don't exactly get much reign over the bridesmaid choices, sir."

"At least Barbara, Cassandra, and Stephanie are there as well. Hopefully they'll keep them straight."

"How do you think I feel, Master Bruce? I've got to walk down the aisle with Poison Ivy. Are you absolutely sure about having me as your best man?"

"More sure than I am of most things, Alfred. You're the one person in this world that's always been beside me, through thick and thin. You've raised me from a small and defenseless boy to a dark and delusional man to a..."

"... Less dark and delusional man?"


"Perhaps as Master Jason would say "less pissed off", sir?"

"That seems appropriate. Anyway, it would be blasphemous not to include you in my wedding, let alone as my best man, because you've always been the best man in my life."

The old man's eyes seemed to glisten as he blinked furiously and nodded. "Yes, well, I will try to keep Poison Ivy in line, but no promises towards Harley Quinn. Master Jason was an interesting choice as a pair."

"We were hoping crazy outweighs crazy sometimes. If Jason's got Harley next to him, maybe he won't try any funny business, because he'll be too worried making sure she doesn't blow anything up."

"Ah, that seems like wishful thinking to me."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "Damian promised me a safe and violence-free wedding as his gift to me, despite his vehement disapproval of my choice in bride."

"He'll come around."

"I hope so." Bruce sighed and turned away to look in the mirror. He realized how much older he looked, the years of carrying guilt-ridden burdens taking their toll. However, in his eyes he looked younger than ever. No longer were they dull or absent of light or hope. He knew there was more than the mask now and although he sometimes still believed he didn't deserve such love and affection surrounding him, he knew he had to embrace it to continue being better at what he does. Part of him still felt trying to have it all was a setup for failure and further heartache, but he was wise enough to know that trying in itself was worth it. 

"I never thought this day would happen. Not in a million years."

"I always did." Alfred's voice was soft like silk and delicate as a feather, a smile playing at his lips. "I wanted nothing more for you than to find the love you deserve and to let yourself really be happy. Your parents always wanted that too. They'd be very proud of you, sir."

"And eternally grateful to you. As I am. For being my father, teacher, and friend."

He stuck out his hand. "It has been my honor. Now, I believe it's time we go get you ready to meet the new Mrs. Wayne."

"That it is."

Bruce ignored the hand and pulled him in for a firm embrace instead, patting his back and wishing he could somehow properly thank him for all of his years of loyalty and getting him to this point of self-actualization in one hug, but he knew he couldn't. He would owe Alfred for life, even if he didn't see it as such. Still, the excitement that bubbled up inside him at the thought of Selina Kyle becoming Selina Wayne dissolved much else thought. He knew it was foolish to be overly optimistic when it came to getting the entire Justice League together for a romantic event. Dinah and Ollie's previous weddings have been anything but smooth in the past, but as long as the kids didn't do anything too stupid and he got to walk away with Selina as his wife, it would be an alright day.

Really, what could go wrong?


Five minutes later...

"UNHAND ME, TODD OR I WILL CUT OUT YOUR TONGUE AND HANG YOU FROM THE ROOFTOP FROM IT!" Bellowed Damian Wayne as he attempted to fight his way from Jason Todd's grip. Jason was showered and clean-shaven, dressed in a tuxedo that seemed out of character especially as he carried his little brother over his shoulder effortlessly. Damian's attempts at escape were futile, though, as Jason was the most physically strong out of all of them and his wiggling, biting, and scratching only tightened his hold.

"Ooh graphic, I like."


"Get in line. A lot of people have already made me feel that way. And here I thought you of all people would be game for a little fun during this wedding, considering you're the only one who doesn't want this to happen."


"Really shouldn't have forgotten the gag at home." He sighed wistfully. "Oh well. At least no one's here yet, right?"

Well, that's what he thought, because shortly after he said that, one of Bruce Wayne's sports cars pulled up in front of them. This obstacle didn't erase the seemingly permanent smile that was etched on Jason's face. 

"Damian!" Dick slammed his car door shut, dressed in a tuxedo of his own with his hair combed neatly for once. "I got your distress call. What the hell, Jay?"

Jason groaned. "Really, brat? You told on me?"

"I had no choice. You kidnapped me and planned on defaming my character by unleashing me to the public like this-- like a wild dog or something!"

"Dogs don't wear that, dummy."

"Jason, come on!"

"Well excuse me for trying to liven this wedding up by filling in some missing parts."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" 

Jason finally placed Damian down and held him back from his head as the boy tried to swing at him.

"Bruce and Selina don't have a flower girl."

Dick's eyes widened and he fought to keep a smile off his face for Damian's sake, who was already bright red in anger and shouting obscenities. Not to mention, he was starting to succeed in his backlash at Jason, drawing blood on his left cheek. The fact that the young boy had a fluffy and very pink floral dress on top of his tux made the violent reaction all the funnier though, so he had to cough to hide his own amusement. Unfortunately scuffles with Damian don't take long to transform into involving swords and Jason rarely ever left home without a weapon of his own (his father's wedding not being one of the rare occasions he forgot one), so the day started off promptly with a call to the GCPD from a bystander that three of the Wayne boys were "playing with sharp knives" in St. Peter's parking lot.

May the games begin.