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Is Love Enough?

Chapter Text

Alec waited on the bench in Central Park watching as the world went by.  Chilren playing, he couldn't help but smile a little at the face that that use to be him, laughing with his siblings without a care in the world.  Little do you know that the world is a sad beautiful tragic place and it can take just as much as it can give. He was brought out of his thoughts by a dip in the bench.  He didn't even need to look to see who it was, "do you think they even know?" He turned to look at Sebastian, he had a confused look on his face, "know what?"

Alec sighed, "that the chances of living a fulfilling happy life might not even be possible?"

"Alec what are you talking about?"

Alec sighed as a few tears slipped out of his eyes, "Sebastian I love you, but with everything that has happened, what you did, its unforgivable. I could think that it was a one time thing, that I could get past it but the more I thought about it the more it broke me.  Im leaving, I need to find myself, you were my first love, my first so many things but now its time for me to discover who I truly am but I need to do that by myself." He grabbed his hands, "I need you to find your true happiness, the one person that will love you unconditionally and that you can love back.  We both know that its not me and I've accepted that, just know that the only thing I want from you is to be happy."

Sebastian looked at him with tears falling down his eyes, he put his hand on Alec's cheek, "just know that I never meant to hurt you and I did love you, and I want you to know that you're not broken, we found each other at the worst time in our lives and we helped each other heal, just know that you too deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life that lights you up. Don't ever forget that."  And like that he was gone.

Alec’s laughed a little, but it was dry laugh with no emotions, he’s not sure if he ever did heal after his little brothers death, hell he’s not even sure if he didn't still blame himself. But he was going to try, he owed it to Max. Max had always talked about traveling the world, so that is what he was going to do, fulfill the wish that his brother always had. But more importantly he owed it to himself to try and find that happiness, that light and the only way he was going to even come close is if he tried.

Alec wiped his eyes, took one last look at the place that brought him so much peace, grabbed his bag and headed to JFK.  His sister and brother were waiting for him. Jace was the first to hug him, "bro, have a safe trip, live a little huh, if anyone deserves it its you." Alec smiled at him, leave it to Jace to make a situation a little lighter, he always loved that about him, he knew just when the right time was to make him smile.  He then turned to look at his sister, "look big brother, I know you're hurting right now but please promise me you'll take care of yourself and that you'll call or write just so I know that your ok." He looked at the young woman in front of him, "I promise you Iz, I love you, thank you for everything." She had tears in her eyes. He didn't know how long he would be gone for, all he knew was that he needed this. With one last hug for the both of them, he took off towards the plane that would bring him to his future.  When he got through security he took was last look at his siblings and waved, and with that he turned around and disappeared into the sea of people hoping for a fresh start.

Chapter Text

Three Years Later

 

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen welcome New York, the temperature outside is sunny and 75, thank you for flying Air France and we hope you enjoy your stay."

Alec got off the plane, he had a great time overseas but he missed home but most importantly he missed his brother and sister.  When he made it to the waiting area there was his beautiful baby sister, when she saw him, she squealed and ran into his arms so hard he almost fell. "I missed you too Iz," he didn't notice the tears falling down his face.

When they broke apart he noticed the ring on her finger, "so Simon finally proposed huh?"

She blushed, "yep but I told him I wouldn't marry him until my big brother came back into town."

He smiled, "you didn't have to do that but I thank you for it, so where’s blondie?" She rolled his eyes, "he got called into work, he's going to meet us later, big bro, you look different, you look lighter, happier."  He chuckled, "I feel lighter, to be honest Iz, this is the best I've felt in a long time."  She started to cry, "no Iz, don't cry," he gave her one of his signature big brother hugs. She broke the silence, "I'm just so happy for you, come on, lets get you home, I bet your exhausted."  He smiled and they made their way back to Izzy and Simon's apartment.

When they walked into the apartment Alec bumped into the entry table, "shit, Iz, why is it so dark in here?"  She had a smirk on her face, "I don't know, let me find a light."  When she turned the light on, he heard a loud "SURPRISE."  He had the biggest smile on his face, there waiting in the living room was Jace and Clary, Luke and Jocelyn who had been like parents to him when he got kicked out of his parents house, Simon and his sister Rebecca and Raphael his best friend. After hugging every one and thanking them for coming, they sat down and ate dinner and had drinks and laughed so much, he had a great time, it was definitely great to finally be home. After everyone left, he went to bed to get rid of some serious jet lag.

An hour after he went to bed, there was a loud bang on the door. Izzy got up yelling at the door, "alright alright, Im coming, calm down, moth.." before she could finish she was cut off, "Isabelle wheres Alec, have you heard from him." Izzy had never seen the look of worry so thick on her mothers face. "Mom whats wrong?"

Her mother had tears rolling down her eyes, she sat on the couch and put her head in her hands "so I was keeping track of your brother just to make sure he was ok and the last hotel he was staying at in Morocco, there was an explosion and I know I haven't been the best mother to him but I still worry about him and I just need to make sure he's ok, oh god what if something happened to him and I never got to say how sorry I am for treating him the way I did, oh god, what have I done, this can't be happening, oh god..."

Her rant was cut off by a door opening, and out walked a teary eyed Alec, "Mom, I'm right here."

Maryse looked up and launched herself into her sons arms, "oh Alec, Im so sorry for everything, I know that it won't make up for what I did to you but I want to try to do better, Im sorry it nearly took losing you for good to apologize and I understand if you can't forgive me, lord knows I don't deserve it."

Alec interrupted her, "Mom its okay, I'm right here, and I already forgave you, well about a few days ago but I still forgive you, but I would love to start over but with baby steps ok." Maryse had a big smile on her face, she looked at him, she could tell he was a different person, he had a bright light in his eyes, "I can do that." Behind them Simon had came out of the room and was comforting a crying Izzy while Alec and his mother embraced right there in the living room.

They broke apart and Maryse broke the silence, "right well I should leave, you're probably tired, heres my number, call me when your ready, I'd love to hear about your trip." She turned to walk away but before she could leave Alec stopped her, "Mom wait, how about brunch tomorrow, me you, Izzy and Jace, say 10:30?" His mother smiled, "I'd like that." When a final goodbye and a place to meet she turned and walked out.

Izzy turned to him, "Im proud of you." With that she went back to bed, Alec laid down that night with a big smile on his face.

 

 

Chapter Text

Alec woke to the sun shining through his window and loud noises of the city below, looking out the window he decided to keep up with his routine that he did every morning for the past three years.

He put on some shorts and a tshirt and running shoes and stepped outside to the smell of city air, “ahhh, its great to be home,” he took off and ran for miles. He found himself sometime later in Central Park and he sat on that same bench he sat on three years ago. Watching the world go by and the children, they stood there smiling and laughing without a care in the world. Before he didn't think it was ever possible to feel this happy but now he knew it was. They had so much to look forward to.

He was enjoying the morning breeze when he felt a dip in the bench and voice “do you think they know?” He was having serious deja vu right now. He turned and looked at the man next to him and boy he was beautiful. He smiled, “know what?” The beautiful man kept his eyes forward, “that the world is full of endless possibilities, that they can do anything they want to do?”

Alec smiled, if someone would have asked him that question three years ago he would have laughed in their face, “you know if I was asked that question three years ago I would have said they were crazy and would have told those kids to not get their hopes up.” He heard the man gasp, “but now I would tell those kids to not wait for the opportunity but to create it.” He looked at his watch, he needed to get back, he smiled at the man, “you have a wonderful day.” With that Alec ran back to his sisters.

A quick shower and Alec was ready, ready to put the past behind him, ready for a new future with his family. He and Izzy were at Taki’s within ten minutes where his mother and Jace were waiting, with a quick hug for the both of them they sat down. There was a heavy silence in the air until Izzy broke it, “so Alec how was your trip.”

Alec smiled at his sister as a way of thanking her for breaking the ice. Alec told them all about his travels of course a condensed version because if he described the whole thing they would be here for days. Maryse smiled, she could see that her son was in a good place, she still frowns a little at the thought of her son being in a bad place because of her. Alec noticed the silent tears falling from her eyes, “mom, what's wrong?”

She looked at him, “I'm so sorry Alec, I know I can never apologize enough. To know that I was the cause of your pain is something I'll never be able to forgive myself for.”

He grabbed her hand, “mom, look at me, yeah what you and dad did was awful but you weren't the only cause, everything that happened, with Max, Sebastian, it all hit me at once and I needed an escape.” He could tell she was wondering who Sebastian was, “oh you don't know about Sebastian, I met him about six months after leaving, he saved me, we were together about 6 years until I found him in bed with another man. I was mad at first but I realized that we were just holding on to the thought of us, we found each other when we were both in a horrible place, he healed me some but it wasn't until he did cheat that I learned I wasn't completely whole, a part of me was still missing. I didn't know who I was by myself so I went to find it.”

His mother tears weren't as heavy but they were still there along with a smile, “did you find it?”

Before he could answer the waiter came and took their order and Alec continued, “I did. It's how I found the strength to finally forgive myself for Max and how I found the strength to forgive you.” She was happy for him, “may I asked where you found it, if you don’t want to answer, if it's too personal I understand.”

“No it's not, I would like to tell you, as the days went on, it got better. I decided to travel after my London job, that's how it started, I was offered a job there for two weeks, then I decide after I would travel the world. I did it for Max, he always talked about traveling the world, all the places he wanted to go, he was so damn smart.” He wiped a tear from his eye, “when you kicked me out, I took a journal of his,” he pulled it out of his bag along with another notebook “it had all the places he wanted to go, so I let him be my guide, and everywhere I went I took a photo and put it in this notebook.” He handed them both to his mom.

She put her hand on the journal, “I remember this, you two were always writing stuff in this, I was wondering where it went.” Alec frowned, “I'm sorry I took it, but it was the one thing he and I had together and I couldn't bare to part with it.”

She handed it back to him, “you keep it, he would want you to have it, can I asked where you found it in your heart to forgive me.”

Alec smiled at that memory, “the last place I was before I came home, Casablanca, Morocco. Max loved that damn movie, he always wanted to watch it.” He heard Jace and Izzy laugh at that. Izzy spoke for the first time, “I bet it was beautiful.”

Alec smiled, “it was, it was everything you could imagine it to be. But I was sitting on a cliff that I had found the first day I was there, and I was looking out at the ocean and everything hit me all at once. Everything I had ever done, every choice I've ever made, every terrible and wonderful thing that's ever happened to me, it all led me to right there, to that cliff. And I sat there and I just cried, and when I was done, I finally felt completely free. So I decided in that moment to come home early.”

By the time he finished everyone at the table was crying, everyone in the restaurant was looking at them but they didn't care. Because in that moment they all knew everything was going to be ok. They were brought out of their silence by their food arriving.

Maryse was the first to speak, “I'm happy for you Alexander, it I'm guessing with you coming home that you have a job lined up.”

“I do, I start next month, I was in Paris before Morocco where I saw Raphael, we got to talking and he told me that if I ever came back to New York he would get me a job. I had already made a decision to come back, I just didn't know when. I did the interview and they told me that they liked my photographs so much, that they would wait for me to come back. So when I decided to come back early, I told Raphael and they said I could have the month to prepared myself.”

Izzy smiled, “so where is it.”

“Sorry Iz, I'm not allowed to say where until everything is officially complete, it was part of the arrangement.”

Alec was now looking at his mother, “so mom, how's dad.”

The whole table went silent, Maryse spoke first, “I'm sorry Alec I thought Izzy told you, we got a divorce, I found him in bed with another woman.”

Alec frown, “I'm sorry mom I didn't know.”

She cleared her throat, “it's ok, he wasn't a nice man, we all know this, I was always ashamed of myself for not sticking up for you Alec, but I was so caught in the money and perks of being married to a Lightwood that I didn't protect the one person I was supposed to love no matter what and I know you're tired of hearing it but I am very truly sorry.”

Alec smiled, “its in the past, what matters is the here and now and your trying and that means a lot to me.”

Jace spoke for the first time, “speaking of, is there anybody in your life now?” He said it with a smirk. Alec knew what he meant and so did everyone else.

“Jace I'm not discussing my sex life with you or anybody, that's mine but let's just say there were a lot of HOT nights," he said while wiggling his eyebrows.

When he said this, he looked at his mother expecting to see disgust but there wasn’t just a look of pure joy. And with that he knew things were going to be ok.

Maryse cleared her throat, “So Alec, now that your sticking around, do you have a place to stay?”

“No not yet but I'm going to look at some places after we finished eating.”

Then Maryse reached into her purse and handed Alec a key, he looked at it, “mom, what's this.”

She smiled, “that Alec is the key to your grandmother loft in Brooklyn, I got it in the divorce and I want you to have it.”

“Mom I can't take this.”

“Yes you can Alec, you were always the closest to her, we all knew you were her favorite, she would want you to have it and after everything, it's the least I can do.”

Izzy looked at her brother, “just except it big bro, she's been saving it for you and she's right Grammy would want you to have it.”

He looked at his mother, “thanks mom.” He got up and hugged her and she hugged him back and it felt like coming home.

The rest of brunch was filled with laughter. Maryse got up and paid the bill and met her children outside. Jace spoke first, “well that was fun, do you guys have anything else to do today, I'm off and Clary is at work.”

Izzy spoke next, “I'm free too, mom, Alec?"

Maryse spoke next, “I know just the place to go, follow me.” The next thing they knew they were in front of a furniture store. “you're going to need furniture for that loft.”

Izzy squealed, she loved to shop, Alec spoke, “mom this too much, you don't have to buy me things.”

She looked at her son, “no Alec, I'm making up for lost time and I don't want you to think I'm buying you, but I did the same thing for your siblings for their first apartment and I'm only doing what I should have been doing all along and that is taking care of my son, so come on let's have some fun.” She said while wiggling her eyebrows.

Alec just busted out laughing and they all launched into a fit of giggles, Alec looked at his mom, “alright let's go, come on Izzy I'm going to need your help, you know I'm hopeless when it comes to this stuff.”

Izzy laughed, “this is going to be so much fun.”

After hours spent shopping they were finally ready to call it a day. Alec wouldn't tell anyone but he actually had a good time. The store told them they would deliver everything tomorrow. They went back to Izzy’s where they had a game night with Simon and Clary and went to bed early since they all had a busy day tomorrow.

 

 

 

Chapter Text

Alec got up a little bit earlier then everyone, he wanted to go on his run but he also wanted to go to his grandmothers loft first but by himself. He remembers all the times he spent in there with her, she would talk to him but his favorite was when she would give him lessons on the piano. He loved the piano but he hasn't played it since his little brother died but maybe he'd like to try again, would he even be able to remember how to pay.

He shook his head to drown out his thoughts, when he got back to his sisters they were still asleep, he took a quick shower and was out the door. He stopped at his favorite truck to get breakfast and made his way to Brooklyn texting Raphael giving him the address and asking to meet him in a couple of hours.

Alec walked into the Brooklyn loft and when he walked him he was immediately in the kitchen, it had white cabinets with marble counter tops and stainless still appliance, he smiled, of course his mother would keep it updated. He walked into the living room, there were exposed brick walls everywhere and had beautiful hardwoods through out. But that wasn't what was breathtaking, his line of sight went straight to the balcony, he had forgot about that view of the Brooklyn Bridge it was his favorite he would sit out here and read for hours.

He was looking around and another object caught his view, looking at it, it was the baby grand piano his grandmother always had. He looked at it and tried to hold back the tears, walking over to it he ran his hand over it feeling the smooth surface, he sat down and lifted the lid up. He put his fingers over the keys and it all came flooding back, it was like his fingers were playing by themselves. He was so immersed in playing that he didn't here the door opening. When he finally looked up he saw Raphael just standing in the entryway.

Alec shook his head, “hey, how long have you been standing there?” Raphael smirked, “long enough, it's been a while since you played, hasn't it but it sounded beautiful.” Alec continued tinted to make little noises, “yeah, before I had never seen a reason to play anymore but now, I don't know if I'll be able to stop.” Raphael just smiled smiled at his best friend, “I'm really happy for you, that you were able to find yourself again, don't ever let that go.” Alec smiled back, “I won't,” clearing his throat, “alright enough with mushy stuff, you ready?”

Raphael chuckled, “yeah let's go.” They then went off get the things that Alec had sent back from his over seas trip. When they reached their destination, they were able to get everything in Raphaels car and headed back to Brooklyn. On their last trip unloading, Alec was laughing with Raphael and he was walking backwards but what he didn't see was the man leaving the apartment next door to his, Raphael yelled, “Alec watch…”

Before he could finish Alec had plummeted into the unsuspecting man. They fell to the floor, Alec cleared his throat gathering some of the stuff he dropped, “oh my god I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying atten…” by this time Alec had looked up, this man was absolutely gorgeous, he was wearing a simple outfit, just some jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt. Alec didn't realize he was staring until the other man cleared his throat, he spoke, and voice was beautiful, it was a velvety smooth, “it's ok darling, I don't mind being rammed into by a beautiful man,” as the man wink, Alec totally didn’t miss the innuendo.

Alec chuckled and stared right at the man and said, “me neither,” and he winked. It was the mans turned to be shocked and stare at Alec, he was clearly checking him out, oh this is going to be fun Alec thought.

The beautiful man broke the silence, “so you new to the area.” Alec chuckled “no, I actually was born and raised in New York but I just moved back after a three year trip around the world.” Alec just told a complete stranger about himself, for some reason this man made him want to spill everything, there was also something very familiar about the man but he couldn't put his finger on it.

“That's cool, see your moving in next door, that place as been emptied for as long as I have been here, people been trying to buy it for years.” Alec smiled, leave it to his mother to be stubborn to keep it, “yeah it was my grandmothers, it holds a lot of memories.”

The other man smiled, “right well I'll let you get back to it, I'm Magnus by the way,” he put his hand out but at the name Magnus Alec’s eyes went wide, could it be, Alec reached to shake his hand, “Magnus Bane.” Today had been a whirlwind of emotions and now the, he hadn't let go of the mans hand either and he was just staring at him.

Alec choked out “Mags,” the man recoiled he was frowning now, “what did you just call me.” All Alec could do was smile, now would probably be a good time to introduce himself. “I'm Alec. Alec Lightwood.”

Now Magnus was shocked, “Alexander,” all Alec could do was nod his head. Raphael, who was staring at his phone the whole time so he didn't have to watch his friend flirt jerked his head at the name Magnus Bane. But before Raphael could say something Magnus launched himself into Alec's arms.

Someone coughing brought them out of their embrace, Magnus looked up, eyes wide, “Raphael what are you doing here?”
Alec was looking between the two of them, “wait you guys know each other?” Then Magnus spoke again, “yeah we do and I take you two know each other.”

Alec chuckled, small world, “yeah, he’s my best friend.” Magnus was shocked, “right, well lets go inside, we should all talk.” Alec and Raphael followed Magnus inside. Magnus made them some coffee, there was an awkward silence till Magnus spoke first, “so how do you two know each other?”

Alec responded, “Raph and I have known each other well since I was about ten, after you left Magnus, he moved in next door and we’ve been best friends ever since,” he point between Magnus and Raphael, “how do you know each other.” Raphael finally spoke, “Magnus is my boss, well our boss.”

Magnus and Alec's jaws both dropped, well this was a conundrum. Raphael spoke again, “so how do you two know each other,” point between Magnus and Alec. It was Alec who spoke, “he lived next door before you did, and we were really close, we did everything together, he was my best friend but then he left and you moved in, that's why it took me so long to talk to you Raph, well because when he left, I was devastated, and I was afraid if I got close to you I would lose you too, but when Jace came to live with us, I took a chance and well you know the rest.”

When Alec looked at Magnus, he was a little teary eyed, he cleared his throat, “you know I was so mad at my mom when we moved, I didn't speak to her for a month, I missed you Alec so much. But here you are,” he then looked at Raphael, “when you say our boss what do you mean?”

Before Raphael could speak, Magnus’ door slammed open “Jesus Christ Magnus I've been waiting downstairs for thirty minutes, what the hell…” When the man looked around after finishing yelling Magnus cleared his threat, “you done yet?” Holding his hand out to tell him that he had guess.

The man spoke again “Raphael, what…” he was shocked at the other man, “Alec, ok someone tell me what's going on, Magnus, how do you know Alec, oh god please tell me you didn't sleep with our new photographer, dios mio.” Raphael chuckled and Magnus was red with embarrassment and Alec looked amused.

Magnus spoke, “ok Ragnor don't have an aneurism, there's a reasonable explanation for all this.” Ragnor was tapping his foot, “I'm waiting Magnus.”

Magnus then launched in to the story about how they all new each other, that Magnus didn't sleep with Alec, how they knew each other when they were kids before Magnus and his mother moved away.

Ragnor sighed, “oh thank god.” Magnus chuckled, “so Ragnor how do you know Alec?”

Ragnor laughed, “I hired him he's our new head photographer which you would know if you would bother to come to an interview every once in a while.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, Alec chuckled at that he could see he was the same over dramatic Magnus still, “Ragnor my dear cabbage, that's why your head of Human Resources, so I don't have to deal with all that but seeing how gorgeous Alec here is, I might show up more often to get a little bit of…eye candy,” he said with a flourish of his hand.

Ragnor rolled his eyes and Alec busted out laughing, everyone then turned to him, Alec spoke, “I see you haven't changed much Mags.” Magnus smiled at the nickname.

Ragnor had a look in his eyes, like everything had fallen into place, “so that's why you won't let anyone call you Mags.” Magnus had a little blush on his face, Alec smiled, “I don't get it.”

Ragnor chuckled, “anytime some one calls him Mags he gets pissy, at first I just thought he hated it, but now I see it's because that's what you always called him and I can tell you two were really close at one point. My guess is it hurt every time someone called him Mags because he missed you so much.”

Alec had a blinding smile on his space, “well here we are once again, living next door to each other, we're definitely going to have to catch up soon.”

Magnus smiled, “I'd like that.” Ragnor just rolled his eyes and looked at his watch, “right well Magnus we really need to get going we're suppose to meet Catarina at the club.”

“Damnit I forgot, alright,” Magnus turned to look at Alec, “you going to be around later?”

“Yep, all day, got a lot of work to do.”

Magnus smiled, “alright well then I talk you later, stop by, see how everything's going, I mean if that's ok.”

Alec smiled, “of course, I'm going to warn you, my mom and siblings and their significant others will be there and my mom will probably bombard you with questions.”

“That's ok, I'll be ready, plus I haven't seen them in forever, so it will be fun to catch up.” He said as they were walking out the door.

As Alec started to walk inside his apartment with Raphael, “alright well sounds like a plan, see ya later.”

As soon as Alec closed the door he had a huge smile on his face. Raphael was just staring at him, “dios mio.” Alec rolled his eyes at his friend, “what?” Raphael laughed, “I give you guys maybe three months before you start dating.”

Alec glared at him, “I have no idea what your talking about.” Raphael just laughed, “it's ok Alec, you two have something special, I can feel it, hell even Ragnor could, I know you haven't had anything serious since Sebastian but I really think you two could be great together.”

Alec smiled, it wasn't often Raphael got involved in his love life but when he did he knew he was serious, “you think?” He just nodded his head, Alec didn't know what was going to happen, but he would sure like to find out. “We will see.”

There was silence but was soon broken by a knock on the door, “that's probably the furniture.” He opened the door and an hour later he had a loft full of furniture. Now all he had to do was wait for everyone else to get here so they could help with arranging it. And hopefully Magnus would stop by later because we would love to catch up with his old friend.