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It all started the night I was blackmailed by Jane to go with her to one of the parties Tony throws in his penthouse every week. We’d been living in the Avengers tower, formerly Stark Tower, for about 8 months working on the Einstein-Rosenberger-whatsit that Thor calls the Bifrost. It is still damaged  from Asgard’s side, so we’re going to try from our end. Tony just couldn’t resist getting involved, and by some strange and overlooked turn of events I came along to the Big Apple because no one seemed to think I wasn’t part of the package and no one objected.

Hey, I wasn’t going to remind everyone I was just the easily replaceable coffee girl. Especially when I was livin’ la vida loca in a tower full of spies, geniuses, super humans, aliens and whatever Vision is. Did I feel like an ant among giants? Absolutely. Do I care? Not a chance. I’ve just gotta make sure I don’t get stood on, that’s all.

So as I was saying, I usually don’t go to Tony’s audacious parties because of the ant stepping and all that, but Jane decided that she absolutely needed me to go with her, even though 20 minutes in, she’ll forget I’m even there, because she’ll be busy making disgusting goo-goo eyes at Thor.

I tried to get out of it, but she took my iPod and told me that if I didn’t go, she’d get Thor to zap it into next week with his thundery godish powers. Then she dragged me shopping and made be buy a dress. I really hate her sometimes. What’s so wrong with sitting in my room and playing Oblivion for the hundredth time?

Anyway, there I was sitting in the corner, trying not to get giant smooshed, or remind people that I wasn’t even meant to be there, drinking this redonkulous fruity cocktail in a fishbowl I can’t even remember the name of.

The music was all jazzy and I was alternating between enjoying my drink and staring holes into the back of my best friend’s head, the same best friend who managed to beat her own record and started ignoring me 15 minutes after arriving. I should buy her a trophy, or at least a bunch of stickers.

I guess I’d been snickering at the idea of putting her trophy stickers all over her barely legible sciencey notes, when I was snapped back to reality by one of the giants sitting down next to me in the corner. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see it was Loki.

Loki came back to earth when the whole Thanos thing happened, and surprised the crap out of everyone when he fought to save earth. A lot of people are still really unsure whether they can trust him, but like most of the Avengers, he’s needed and been offered a second chance and he seems to be doing okay so far. From what I’ve observed though, everyone else kind of tries to ignore him. There were still a lot of hard feelings and its only really Steve and Thor that have really given him any real belief, and then there’s Tony. Tony and Loki are always bickering like a witty old couple, but it’s obvious it’s just for fun, especially when they get together to prank people. I will never, ever forget the day Thor ate all those magic laxative pancakes and actually broke one of the toilets. Thankfully, the tower has a million toilets and he only damaged the one in his and Jane’s apartment.

I’d been stirring the floating fruit slices in my fishbowl, and tried not to squeak, but failed, when Loki leaned over and bumped my shoulder with his own. I looked up at him, surprised, and worried that if my eyes were any bigger, my contacts might fall out. I wasn’t allowed to wear my glassed according to Jane. I’m still not entirely sure why.

“What’s so funny?” He asked after taking a moment to take in my straightened hair and red dress.

I wasn’t afraid of Loki, per say. He worked with Jane in the lab, trying to fix the Bifrost, so I see him every day. But like I said, I try not to get ant-squashed or flag that I’m there by error.

“Jane’s still coming over to my apartment to use my toilet.” I said after blinking at him.

The smirk on his face as his eyes darted to his brother was contagious.  

I shifted my eyes over the crowd and saw Tony quickly look away from us. I felt my eyes narrow. Amateur move for a prankster, but maybe they didn’t think I was observant enough. If they’re going to try something, I’m going to have to make sure I’ve gotten to them first.

“You look pleasant this evening.” Loki’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. Pleasant? What?

Looking at him, he seemed uncomfortable. I flicked my eyes over to Tony, and sure enough he quickly looked away. Ooookay. Something is definitely up. I’m gonna have to keep my guard up.

“You look pretty satisfactory yourself there, Mischief.” He smiled slightly at the name I’d been calling his since he started working in the Lab.

“I have something for you.”He said not making eye contact. He reached into his pocket and handed me my iPod. I stared at it like it was about to explode.

“What did you do to it? You didn’t magically change all the songs to sound like sex noises did you? I’m not going to try listening to Ceelo and suddenly I hear skin slapping or grunting will I? That’s totally something that you and Tony would do, too. I swear to Oprah, if you two have done anything to my iPod, I’ll make you both regret it.” His eyes had gotten wider and wider the more I spoke, and his cheeks had turned slightly pink. Cute, Mischief can blush. I took my phone out and took a photo before he could react.

“What did you just do?” he asked confused.

“Photo for Facebook.” I replied distractedly as I posted it to my feed.

He cleared his throat. “I have done nothing to your iPod, Lady Darcy. I merely wished to return it, after I’d heard your objections to attending this evening. Now, Lady Jane can no longer hold you to attendance, should you wish to leave.”

I looked at him, trying to decide if he was lying, omitting or telling the truth. I had no chance. He is the God of Lies, after all. Was he trying to get me to leave for some reason? Realising that I may never know, I flicked my eyes to Tony, who was biting his lip and pointedly looking away. Yep, something is rotten in the state of Denmark. Deciding that leaving now is something they may have planned, I pointedly stirred my oversized drink.

“Nah, I’m good. I have a bucket of alcohol and I don’t think I could waste it.” I smiled sweetly at him and watched him look down to his hands, face still pink. He looked to be thinking hard. Hmm, let him try to prank me, I will make him regret it.

I watched the others mingling and laughing and I got the perfect idea. I looked at Loki from the corner of my eye as he was making pointed looks at Tony, who was giving him a thumbs up.

I leaned over and conversationally asked, “Do you think Steve jacks it to the star spangled banner?” I watched as the God of Mischief turned bright red. I quickly took a photo of that too. I heard him choke a bit as I hit ‘post’ in my Facebook feed.

Sounding strangled he asked, “Pardon?”             

Wanting to create a visual he won’t shake for years, I said, “Y’know. Sits against his headboard humming the American national anthem while giving himself a hand job.” I had to swallow down my laughter as his eyes grew comically large. I looked over and saw a worried look on Tony’s face and I knew now was the best time to get away, they’d be too distracted to prank me.

“I’m gonna go talk to Pepper, I need to find out where she got her shoes.” I smirk at him as I strut away. No pranks on me today, good sir.

After waiting about half an hour for Pepper to finish her conversation with Natasha and to notice me, I found out that they were Jimmy Choo and therefore I will never be able to afford them, even if I sold some of my organs.

Deciding that I’d had enough of literally being a tiny mortal amongst gods, I mean, I’m pretty short and it seemed the avengers required a 5 foot 10 minimum as a prerequisite. I decided to take myself downstairs to my apartment before it turns into a pity after party. I don’t bother saying goodbye to anyone, most of them don’t even realise I was even here. No biggie.


Monday came and I entered the lab bright and early with coffees and a box of fresh pastries. You know; the essentials. The usual suspects were in the Lab; Dr Bruce Banner, Jane and Loki. But in addition there was Tony Stark and Vision, who looked like he was waiting awkwardly for Tony to set up on a blind date. Tony, who was chatting to Loki and Jane about some kind of science things, didn’t seem to notice.

After setting the coffee and pastries down, I grabbed Jane’s more recent notes, if you can call them that, it’s more like a secret code that took me way too long to learn. Even Loki’s All-Tongue abilities can’t translate it, and he can read anything.

Mmm. Must not think about Loki’s All-Tongue before coffee. He’s also been accused of having a silver tongue and having previously spent time trying to watch his surprisingly sensuous mouth, I can assure you, it’s physically normal coloured. But then, I haven’t seen him in his Frost Giant form. It could still be silver. I heard from Thor that Frost Giants are blue.

I snorted. Loudly. “... I wonder if he has blue balls.”

The lab went still and I looked up from my transcribing to see everyone staring at me. Well shit, I guess they heard me.


After an awkward moment of everyone looking at each other and brushing off my comment as something normal for me, everyone went back to what they were doing.

I’d been transcribing the notes for about an hour when I looked up and saw Vision was still standing awkwardly by Tony. I put the notes down and made my way over. The need to comfort and distract Vision over took my mouth.

“So you’re like A.I software, a vibranium robot and a glowing space rock all mashed together?” I heard pop out of my mouth. The room went silent again. Wow, two for two Darcy, nice work. I internally gave myself a slow clap.

Vision took a moment to consider. “Yes, it seems that is the case.”

I smiled brightly at him. “You’re like a smore!”

“What is a smore?”

“Well, it’s where you take melted marshmallows and a bar of chocolate and mash them together on a gram cracker. Those ingredients alone have their own unique properties, but when you put it all together it becomes something new, complex and delicious.” I supplied happily.

He looked at me a moment. “So, I’m new, complex and delicious?”

I felt my face go red. “Um, well, maybe, I don’t know how you taste.”

He observed me again, before saying somewhat confused, “Should you lick me so we may find out?”

I died. I’m dead. My face must have gone so far past red, that it’s purple. I made a squeak and turned to Jane for help, who looked equally as astounded. Tony, Loki and Dr Banner were staring at Vision with unreadable expressions.

“Have I said something incorrect?” Vision asked after a moment of extremely awkward silence.

Tony looked around before, “Dibs not it.”

I was a fast second to call dibs, followed by the other two humans. Leaving a flustered and somewhat betrayed looking Loki to explain to Vision what he’d said. I guess they don’t have dibs on Asgard.

I shuffled over to Jane and pressed my side into her while biting the inside of my cheek. I could feel Jane silently shaking as she pressed back. This was going to be hilarious. Tony and Dr Banner clearly thought the same as they tried to hide their smirks.

Loki’s gaze bounced between Jane and I and the other two, looking annoyed and indecisive. Clearly he was unsure how he was going to pay us back. I think it’s going to be worth it.

Loki threw one last look of promised retribution over his shoulder, which earned a snicker from Tony, before turning to a very confused looking Vision. Loki straightened his back and clasped his hands behind his back, drawing my eyes to his ass. I was so caught up in the view; I almost missed what he said. Almost.

“It is improper for Lady Darcy to lick you or, for that matter, just anyone. It is important that she reserve licking for the person she wishes to be intimate with; someone who steals her heart.” He said regally.

I felt a warmth flood my chest. Holy crap! That was a crazy romantic answer.

“Oh Boo, Loki!” Tony said, moving forward. “That wasn’t nearly as humiliating as it should have been.”

I decided to go back to my desk to distract myself from the comment Loki had made while he and Tony bickered good-naturedly.

Trying, and failing, to focus on Jane’s notes, I gave up and pulled up my Facebook page. I decided to look for photos of Pepper and her gorgeous shoes so I could see if I could find knock offs, because I’m classy like that, when I found something that literally changed everything.

It was just a picture of Pepper and Natasha on Scott Whats-his-face’s Facebook page. And there I was, in the background looking awkward and frumpy near such elegance and poise. But it was what was even more in the background that really caught my attention. Behind me, maybe 20 ft, there was Tony and Loki. Tony had one arm over Loki’s shoulders, the other hand gesturing at me. And Loki was looking directly at me with unmistakable heart eyes. Like, I couldn’t even begin to try to imagine that the look on his face was anything other than yearning and adoration.  

Had he been trying to talk-talk to me that night at the party? Is that what was going on? It totally explains Tony’s complete lack of chill, also the ‘pleasant’ comment. Oh god, he was totally trying to come on to me!

I peeked over the top of my computer screen to look at him. He was talking animatedly with Jane at one of the whiteboards. It wasn’t like he didn’t do that every day, but I’m pretty sure that it looked different than usual. Or maybe I’m just seeing something more now that I know he has a thing for me.

I froze and felt a load of hulk sized butterflies begin to rampage in my stomach. Loki. Has a thing. For me! I’d looked, obviously, who wouldn’t? And he made me laugh and of course I had a thing for him. I mean, he’s Loki. What do I do?

He’s an actual facts god. I can’t just go up to him and grab him on the ass or anything; the idea of just asking him out was intimidating. I mean, look at him. And I can’t do it here in the Lab with everyone there. If I go to his door after hours, it will look so much worse.  

I spent the rest of the morning stealing glances at him, wondering how to move forward with this information.

It was coming up to lunchtime, when I was getting ready to get sustenance for my science nerds when Steve Rogers came in.... humming the national anthem.

I nearly died of laughter when Loki fumbled and dropped one of Jane’s weird homemade machines. I helped him pick it up, well I tried. A lot of it was me trying to see through the tears.

He was completely red in the face flustered, and it was just so adorable I couldn’t help it.  

“Wanna come get lunch with me?”

His answering smile was a little magical, ironically.