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Don't Take My Sunshine Away

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caligulasAquarium (CA) began trolling cuttlefishCuller (CC)

 

CA: fef i know you hate me

 

CA: but hear me out

 

CA: im sorry

 

CA: im sorry for everythin i ever did to hurt you and sol

 

CA: im sorry for ruinin our moirallegiance

 

CA: im just so sorry

 

CA: so i guess this is goodbye

 

CA: see you in the next life fef

 

caligulasAquarium (CA) ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller (CC)

 

cuttlefishCuller (CC) began trolling caligulasAquarium (CA) 

 

CC: -Erifin?

 

CC: -Erifin answer me

 

CC: I'm coming to get you so stay w)(ere you are

 

cuttlefishCuller (CC) ceased trolling caligulasAquarium (CA)

 

---

 

dO iT usE thE bladE no usE iT yoU uselesS idioT dO iT

 

Eridan stumbles back, staring at the black husktop screen. What have I done? Why couldn't I just leave her alone? Why did I have to drag her into this?

 

He tried, he tried so hard. He tried to be the best. He tried to help. He really did.

 

alL yoU diD waS hurT theM

 

No. Stop. Please stop stopstop please please please

 

The table creaks as Eridan trips back onto it. He scrambles towards his wall, his little compartment. His secret.

 

His blade.

 

Yes, his blade. A 3-inch silver blade with a black handle. Although, it's not very silver anymore with all the dried violet.

 

Ha.. Violet.

 

The color of royalty. The color of elegance. The color of a highblood. The color of someone who is collected, cold, cruel.

 

The color that holds a role Eridan wishes he could fulfill, but he just can't.

 

And it hurts. It hurts more than words can describe. And he's tried. Oh, he's tried explaining it. The closest thing he can think of is agony. A burning, fierce agony, trapping his heart in a hurricane of hellfire, making his brain shriek with the force of a thousand people suddenly smothered in flame and stardust.

 

He's breaking inside. Nobody notices, nobody cares, nobody even listens when he speaks because they all think he's desperate and rude and he's so stupid and why wouldn't he just give up and-

 

theY telL thE trutH yoU knoW

 

The scarf is his best friend. Fef's old scarf. The only thing he has left of her, really. She took his heart when she left. 

 

Not that it's her fault. Eridan knows it isn't, even as he stuffs that old ragged scarf in his mouth to smother the soul-racking sobs coming from his mouth. He knows it's not her fault as he brings his silver-violet blade down and tears his shirt open. 

 

It's not her fault, he whispers through the pain of the sharp edges knocking against his spine.

 

It's not her fault, his mind bellows. It's not her fault, because it's yours.

 

And that's what he chokes out to her when she kicks down his door and gasps out a "No!"

 

That's what he whispers like a mantra as she holds him in her arms, weeping and screaming as she starts to sing that old childhood song.

 

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." Her voice is wobbling and flawed but that's what makes it beautiful to him.

 

"You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you." Eridan very much doubts that, because after all, who could love a monster like him? 

 

nO onE coulD lovE yoU

 

"Please don't take my sunsh-" Here, Feferi stops with a broken half-gasp, half-sob. Here, Eridan takes Feferi's hand in his and presses a small charm in her hand, in the shape of a diamond. Here, the light in Eridan's eyes finally flickers out after so long of fighting to hold on. 

 

Here, the rest of the group come racing to the seadwellers, drawn to a loud, broken wail, and gather around as they stare at Eridan. Here, they get a glimpse of his happiness, and his fear, and his anger, because they know the blade lodged in his stomach isn't Feferi's, not at all. Here, they see a broken shell of a once-great troll; now nothing more than a corpse with its lips quirked up and scars littering its form.

 

Here, is when the last tone is heard. 

 

"Please don't take my sunshine away."

 

Here is when Feferi died and survived. Because what came out of that room was not Feferi. 

 

Feferi died with her childhood moirail.