Sorry that I've been absent for a while. Computer problems abound it seems, and my computer is deleting my things! Also I'm trying to sell my artwork at conventions, and have been preparing for that too.
There is a lemon in this chapter, just so ya know
"Think nothing of it." He managed to say, and things returned to a quiet calm throughout the dinner.
Well that was certainly interesting, he thought, as he continued to watch Bell'anar'is. She had been dealing with the nobles comments for quite some time now, and none of them had seem to get to her…until they started talking about him. Maybe they had gotten to her before, and that had just been the last straw. The dizzy spell worried him more than anything else though. It hadn't been that long ago that Anders had given her the clean bill of health so she could start going out again.
She was highly advised against missions for the moment, even diplomatic ones. If he counted this as a mission, which he should have, dealing with the Nobles would definitely qualify as something she should not be doing. He should have realized she'd get worked up when the Nobles wanted to question everything. It was a good thing this event would not last much longer. If he could get her home without killing anyone, maybe they could relax with one of those nice hot bubble baths she loved so much.
At the moment, a noble from Orleis was desperately trying to talk her into some kind of hunting party he held every year. Bell'anar'is wasn't the slightest bit interested, but since she'd exhausted her frustration out earlier, she was playing nice now. It didn't go unnoticed by Fenris, but this fellow was flirting with her too. Even if he wasn't from the area, that speech of hers really should have clued the fool in. As repulsive as this man was, he did give Fenris an idea.
Some time away from Kirkwall might do her some good. Somewhere nice, and relaxing, and away from whatever a Wyvern was. It sounded ghastly, and exactly like something Bell'anar'is would do if she were feeling better, though only after the thing started eating people or something. He would speak to Varric and Aveline later about possible places to disappear to for a while, later. Those two had been a great support for them.
The next few hours are a blur, but they finally are able to leave the party. The moon is beautiful this time of night, and for once Fenris does not feel the eyes of High Town thieves on them. Somehow, Varric really has taken care of everything. He can not help but think she looks like starlight now. The moon highlights the markings, and makes her eyes shine even brighter than they are. As much as he hates that they happened to her, she wears the markings well.
"I hate that it always takes a catastrophe before I decide things." Fenris said, suddenly, as they continued along.
"That's not technically true. There were plenty of things you decided without a catastrophe." Bell'anar'is replied, with a grin. "I can think of at least one."
"That's not a good track record though, is it." Fenris said, with a smirk. "I still remember that night as if it were yesterday, but it seems that where before I only saw a troublesome woman who was about to get herself killed, I now see a beautiful goddess that saw fit to walk through death to stand by my side."
"Going for all the points, aren't you?" She teased.
"Maybe. How am I doing so far?" He asked, smiling as they continued on.
"Rather well, I'd say." Bell'anar'is admitted, and waited.
"That night at the Hanged Man is probably the only time, I think, that I've decided something before a catastrophe. That memory is one of my particular favorites, and you're always trying to give me new memories. It took me a while to realize why you do that, why you try and give me new memories at every turn." He mused. "Tell me something, if you could get rid of your scars…the ones on your back perhaps, would you do it?"
"No." Bell'anar'is admitted. "Though I hate that they happened, they have helped in their way to shape who you see now. Had they not happened, I might be different, might never have come to Kirkwall, maybe never have met you, or we might have never started a friendship. Erasing the scars would be like erasing myself."
"That is something I will have to think on. These markings have served me well, but if I had never gotten them…I don't know who I would be now." Fenris mused. They were close to the estate now.
"You asked me earlier, to translate what I'd said to you before. Would you still like to know it?" He asked, knowing her answer already.
"I've been amazingly patient today, considering I'm not very good at it." Bell'anar'is replied, coyly. "I think a reward would be in order."
"You have, but I may have to make you wait just a little bit longer I think." Fenris stated, opening the door for her. "I'm not sure you've earned it yet."
"I put up with a nobles dinner party." She fussed, sticking out her bottom lip a little to pout.
"Yes, and you nearly passed out at that dinner party. I should not have let Varric talk us into going." Fenris said, crossly. His mood having changed so quickly caught Bell'anar'is by surprise, and he tried to rein it in a bit better. "Seeing you like this tonight…the dress…the dancing…I will treasure that always, but I have discovered that you are an incurably stubborn woman with very little regard for self preservation."
He wrapped his arms around her, and drew her as close to him as she could get, before resting his forehead against her own.
"Just because you no longer knock on deaths door, does not mean you should invite him to tea. You are not out of the woods yet." Fenris said, gently, as one of his hands graced over where the wound had been. "I would rather not lose you to the foolishness of fussing at the nobles."
"Can you imagine? Father would never let me live that down. I can almost hear him scolding me for it now." She admitted, thinking of her father's reaction, and is brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Fenris laughing, a deep rich timbre.
"I think that's the first pun you didn't mean to use." Fenris stated, through the laughter.
"The perfect pun. We must tell Varric later." Bell'anar'is remarked, giggling.
Suddenly, they were jostled out of their laughter by Anders running up to them.
"You sent a messenger to me about Hawke?" Anders called, as he ran up.
"Yes, she…nearly fainted while fussing at the nobles." Fenris replied.
"Varric owes me 10 gold pieces then." Anders remarked, with some amusement, before turning to Bell'anar'is. "Well, let's get you inside and have a look at you. You can tell me everything while I give you a check up."
"Will that mean you win more money?" Bell'anar'is asked, with a smirk.
"Depends on what you tell me." Anders admitted, sheepishly.
She shouldn't be surprised really. She'd seen the way Fenris had talked to one of the servants at the party, but she hadn't thought anything of it. Now she knew that it had been to send a messenger to get a hold of Anders. He wasn't about to take second chances where she was concerned, especially not after what he termed 'The Arishok incident'. She couldn't even get mad about it really, and just smiled as they moved their conversation into the Hawke estate.
That was something else she had come to accept. Before even the passing of her mother, many in Kirkwall were calling the 'Amell estate' the Hawke estate. It seemed second nature now. Bodahn smiled as they entered the place, going to bed once he'd seen them in. He'd stayed up to make sure that Hawke and Fenris made it home. She was going to have to do something to make sure he took a day off soon.
"Hawke, what happened?" Anders asked, when they'd sat down in the study.
"Everything was going so well. Annoying nobles talked to me, women swarmed Fenris (At this, Anders arches an eyebrow and looks to Fenris, who looks slightly guilty with the blush he has now), we danced, good times." Hawke said, rambling a bit. "I was so worried about the dancing that I didn't even think about the forks…so many forks, Anders…and then this one noble decided he was going to take it upon himself to question my decisions…all of them, and I just couldn't take it. I stood up, and gave every noble in there what for, how to, and where to shove it. I nearly faint after that, and the host apologized to Fenris."
"Anders, do you mind staying here for now? You need to tend to Bell'anar'is, and I need to talk to Varric about something." Fenris asked, looking to Anders. He had a missive from the desk in his hands. "That might be a good idea. Templars were hanging about a bit too close to the clinic today." He replied, with a nod.
"I know I should have said something earlier, Bell'anar'is, but I promise I'll tell you all about it when I get back. It's just…the opportunity has presented itself." Fenris said, a bit hurriedly, before kissing her forehead.
She was left with a confused look on her face, but nodded. Fenris lightly kissed her on the lips then, smiling at her when he pulled away soon after.
"I promise." He vowed, and then he left.
"Well that was…" Anders said, trailing off.
"Worrisome?" Hawke supplied.
"Yes, but that is a pastime of yours." Anders remarked, teasingly, then went into full on healer mode. "Now, let me give you a once over, and then you can go into detail about that party. You know you want to."
It actually took less time than she thought. She'd just pushed her blood pressure beyond what it should have been in a short amount of time. It was enough to worry Fenris, and even Anders was surprised she'd managed it, but the good thing about being a mage was that healing went much faster. After that, she went into a more detailed account of what had happened at the party. Anders laughed when she described the panicked look on Fenris's face when the women of the party had swarmed him.
"Oh, that reminds me. I may need to borrow your translating skills again." She mentioned, with a conspiratorial grin.
"Oh? Will this get us into trouble?" Anders asked, unable to hold back a grin of his own.
"Maybe. He said…Makers balls, Anders, he…He'd mentioned that he'd planned to ask me to marry him in tevene, but lost the nerve and went about it the way he did instead. I'd asked what he would have said, and I think…I think he may have actually told me." Hawke replied, her eyes wide and her voice low.
"You want me to translate a possible marriage proposal?" Anders asked, incredulously. "This will get us into trouble. Have you considered this might get us killed? I rather like keeping my heart inside my chest, you understand."
"Maybe…" She said, sheepishly. "Someone has to be the bad influence till Isabella gets back."
"Isabella…" Something about the way Anders said her name made Hawke's eyes light up.
"Since when?" Hawke asked, leaning in like there was someone there who could overhear them.
"Since even before the kiss. (Hawke didn't have to ask what he meant by that) Why do you think she got so mad at me when she saw us?" Anders replied.
"I hadn't really paid attention. Wasn't in the best frame of mind at the time." Hawke admitted, regretful.
"It's a good thing she isn't a mage." Anders stated, with a bit of a grin. "Her daggers are dangerous enough. I had to calm her down, explain to her the state I found you in, and then explain all of the other options I'd run through trying to keep you from leaving that clinic in the shape you were in. I didn't succeed with that first one until I had went through all the others, while avoiding daggers no less. Not an easy task, that. Besides being angry at me for breaking our one condition, she is fiercely protective of you."
"I don't understand…" Hawke said, a bit confused.
"The lack of exclusivity?" He asked, and she nodded. "It went that way for a while. You know Isabella. She changes when she wants to, but only then. There's no forcing that woman to do anything she doesn't want to do. Her only condition for me was that I not try for you anymore. Everyone else would have been fair game, as she called it. Even after she stopped with others, she still went to the Blooming Rose a few times a week. She'd hire them, and then spend their time playing Wicked Grace and Diamond Back. That doesn't exactly mean she'd have stopped herself from inviting someone in if she found them interesting enough, or that she would stop me from doing the same."
"That sounds like Isabella." Hawke said, with a grin. "She'll come back, Anders."
"I hope so. Justice is getting restless without her here." Anders admitted.
"Justice has a thing for her too?" She asked, surprised.
"If you can believe it." Anders replied, with a grin. "The blackouts stopped for a while too."
"I'm still working through that list you gave me from before. I haven't found a connection to anyone yet, and everyone visits the gallows." Hawke admitted, frustrated at herself.
"Both Justice and I appreciate you looking. It would not do for someone to be messing with my magic, and when Justice realized what was happening, he understood why I came to you." Anders stated. "I think I've won him over that you're an asset to the cause as you are. You running yourself into the ground in a spectacular manner may have also helped. You worried even him. That's no small feat, you know."
"Oh, you know me. If I'm going to mess up, it's always going to be epic." She replied, with a bit of a teasing grin.
"Now, about my translating Fenris's proposal?" Anders offered up. "We probably don't have long before he gets back from the Hanged Man, and I'd rather not end up dead."
"I'm not sure I can remember it exactly, and my pronunciation is going to be horrid, but here goes… Scio te non…sunt obiectum habere,…sed tibi prium,… quam umquam… pro me,…et ego potest… non nudis…amittere te." Hawke began.
"Alright, if you pronounced all that correctly, he said 'I realize you are not an object to possess, but you are the first thing I have ever taken for myself, and I can not bare to lose you.' I assume there's more?" Anders stated, after a moment.
" Nihil est peius… quam cogitato… vivere sine te." Hawke said, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she tried to remember the words exactly.
"He said 'There is nothing worse than the thought of living without you.'" Anders translated, and then added ruefully. "Sometimes I hate how eloquent he is with words."
" Utinam stare…per tuum… latus semper, Amatus." Hawke continued.
"He said 'I wish to stand by your side always, Beloved.'" Anders translated.
" Videtur… ego cecidit… in amore…cum magia,…tua magica." She said, still concentrating.
"He said…Hawke, I'm not sure I should translate that…That's…Hawke…I never thought he'd say anything like that about magic…ever…" Anders exclaimed, disbelief and reverence clear in his voice. "For him to say that, even as he did, is monumental for someone who's been through what he has."
"You can't just quit on me now, that just makes me more curious to know!" She objected, practically whining.
"Hawke, if he kills me for this, Justice and I will haunt you forever." Anders cautioned, but it seemed she was undeterred. "Alright, at the risk of being lyrium fisted through the heart…he said 'It seems I fell in love with magic, your magic.' Was there anything else?"
"Just one last thing." Hawke replied. "Erit tibi…uxorem mihi."
"He said 'Will you marry me'. So you were right about it being a proposal. Are you sure the meaning of it wasn't cheapened by having another translate it? You could have waited, you know." Anders said, looking over her shoulder slightly.
"No. As I said to him before, I would have said yes to anything he asked, so long as he said it just like that." Hawke admitted, with a grin and a far off look in her eyes. "It was beautiful, Anders, and the way he held me as he said it…"
"I'm only surprised he didn't ask in elvhen too like before." Anders remarked, chuckling.
"I had considered it." Fenris stated, scaring the void out of Hawke. He didn't sound cross, but he didn't sound please either. "It appears I owe the dwarf 10 gold pieces. He'd bet that it was you that had told her what Amatus meant."
"Well, I feel like I should probably get going now. Things look like they're about to get a bit tense." Anders stated, as he rose from his seat.
"You will not, Anders. You will be staying." Fenris growled. Bell'anar'is cringed, and he realized it was because he sounded like he was angry at them. "Varric told me about the Templars. He said they had been in the clinic since you left."
"How…?" Anders asked, confused.
"I tend not to question the dwarf and his spy ring of elven urchins." Fenris replied, curtly. "You will stay here for now. Sandal has made sure, somehow, that Cullen is the only Templar that can get in here. Bell'anar'is, a word, if you please."
"Guest rooms are down the hall, past the kitchen, Anders." Bell'anar'is said, before following Fenris.
He is silent as they make their way to their bedroom. It had been his plan to tell her himself when he got back from his sudden meeting with Varric. He wasn't angry at her so much as he was angry for being robbed of the chance, though maybe it was his own fault for leaving her there with the one Varric had bet on. Fenris could practically feel how nervous she was, but did nothing to dissuade the feeling. She needed to know this hurt him.
"Bell'anar'is, did you think I would not tell you, that I would not admit what those words meant?" Fenris asked, keeping his voice even. He kept his back to her.
"That's not why I asked." Bell'anar'is replied, her voice sounded so small. Was she crying?
"Then pray tell, why did you?" He asked, still sounding accusatory.
"You have Merrill for when you want something I've said translated or for when you want to learn to say something in elvhen in order to surprise me." She stated, her voice so low now he could barely hear it. "I hadn't asked him that yet, but I was about to before you walked in. I wanted to surprise you too. I had to know if what you said was a proposal, so I could work out what to say to you."
"You…were going to ask Anders…to help you learn Tevene…to surprise me?" He asked, finally turning around to face her. the wind gone from his sails now. Well, shit.
"That was the plan, yes." Bell'anar'is admitted. "Anders doesn't even know that yet. I don't know if he'd agree to it or not."
"Bell'anar'is, I'm sorry. That was just something I specifically wanted to share with you myself." Fenris stated, still feeling more than slightly disappointed, but then wondered something. "How did you remember all of it? It was quite the paragraph."
"I had to concentrate." She still hadn't looked up at his face yet, choosing to look at the floor instead. "I am sorry. I should have waited."
He didn't understand. How badly did she think she'd messed up? He had wanted to tell her these things himself, sure, but that didn't explain her reaction to him now. She was shaking slightly, she was looking down, and he was sure he'd heard crying a moment ago. Seeing a betraying tear fall from her face, he gently cradled her chin, and guided her face to look up to his.
"I am disappointed that I could not be the one to translate that for you, but I think I understand now. I had not…considered that maybe you would want to do something similar to what I had done for you." Fenris admitted, his voice soft and loving now. "Thank you."
"But I haven't gotten him to teach me a phrase yet." She objected.
"Still, that you want to…even that is something for me to cherish." He replied, as he guided her to her writing desk to sit down, and he sat down on the bed. "Now, I believe I should explain my sudden departure. (Bell'anar'is nodded in understanding) I asked Varric to look into Varania for me. He was able to find her, make contact, and convince her that I was who I said I was. She's on her way here to meet with me."
"Fenris, that's…that's wonderful!" Bell'anar'is exclaimed, happily.
"I didn't want to mention it before, because I didn't want to get my hopes up in case it was a lie. It could still be a trap, even so. Danarius could be using her to get to me, or follow her here knowing that we are to meet." Fenris admitted. "If it is a trap, I would ask for your help, but I'm worried it is still too soon for you to fight as you do. If it is not a trap, I would like for her to meet you."
Bell'anar'is didn't even hesitate. "When is she suppose to arrive?" She asked.
"Sometime within the next few weeks. Varric will let me know when she gets here." Fenris replied, quickly. "Is it wrong for me to be nervous? What if this is a ploy? What if she really is who she says she is? What if she doesn't even recognize me?"
"We'll try to plan for everything, and if it is a trap, we have home advantage." She stated, easing his tensions.
"I like the sound of that." Fenris mused, the corner of his mouth tilting upwards slightly when she looked at him in confusion. "Home."
Well that word certainly had an affect on her. She practically melted into goo just sitting there at the desk. It really was a wonder to him how such a word could even be a part of his vocabulary. Bell'anar'is had managed to introduce yet another new memory into his life. At a loss for words, he kissed her softly, hoping that it would convey what he was at a loss to say.
Fenris was not expecting it to change into something with heat to it, but on second thought it had been months since they'd been able to make love to one another. He hadn't wanted to risk it even when it appeared to be safe, just in case the wound was aggravated. Without a word, he pulled her to stand in front of the chair without breaking the kiss, and guided her slowly to the bed.
"You have no idea just how much I wanted to rip you out of that dress at that damned ball." He said, gruffly. He began kissing trails along her neck. "Find some corner no one knew about…and fuck you senseless…until no one there could deny who you belonged to…I would have you shout my name to all of HighTown."
A garbled throaty moan was her only response, and he bit down on her collarbone slightly to illicit a gasp from her.
"Now, unfortunately, you are going to have to keep quiet tonight, my little mage." He whispered huskily, into her ear, slipping into the dominate role. "We wouldn't want the healer to barge in again, now would we?"
"Din, Taraes." She whispered back, keeping her voice soft. No, Master.
He does not tell her to stop when she begins trying to help him out of his clothes. He is already working to undo the small clasps along her back. The one bad thing about them is all the buckles and ties. Varric had to have a twisted sense of humour to include Tevinter fashion in his wardrobe choices for them. The sight of Bell'anar'is in such a dress had taken his breath away regardless.
As it slipped from her form, the dress pooled around her feet on the floor. Almost instantly, she stopped trying to work him out of his clothes, and wrapped her arms around her stomach. It took Fenris a moment to realize just what she was trying to do. She was trying to hide the scar from him, convinced that this somehow made her less beautiful than she had been before. This was something that he could not let her continue to believe.
"Drop them." He ordered, using the low octave he knew she could not resist. She only looked up at him, her eyes wide with fear and apprehension, and he tried again. "Bell'anar'is, if you do not lower your arms, how am I to appreciate all of you?"
She relented, though only slightly, by clasping her hands together before she lowered them, pushing her breasts up in an effort to distract him. This still hid the scar from him, though not as effectively as she would have liked. The look in her eyes told him that she knew what she was doing, and had a hard time relinquishing this last little bit to him. He backed away only slightly, and began to slowly work on the last of the clasps that held his tunic together.
Her eyes grew hungry as she watched him slowly work over each piece. She had told him, sometime during the party that night, that he truly had looked like one of those princes from her father's stories. Though it was hard to see himself in that light, what fascinated him the most was how this amazing woman in front of him looked as if she wished to devour him. She looked as if she were debating something, biting her lower lip as she was. When she moved her right arm to reach out to him slightly, he pulled away just a little further as if to tease her.
"Do you wish to touch me?" He asked, huskily. She nodded, and moved her right hand towards him again, her left arm still covering her scar. "No, Amatus. How can I let you do that when you hide yourself from me, when you won't let me touch every inch of you?"
"Fenris…it's…too awful…too ugly…You shouldn't want to…Please…" She tried to say, going back to holding herself again.
"You did." Fenris pointed out, warmly, causing her to look up at him in confusion.
With his torso now exposed, he pulls her gently into his arms and they stand there for a moment. Slowly, he takes her right hand into his own, placing it above his heart. He doesn't say anything yet, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. He smirked in spite of himself. Of course, she wouldn't understand the things he thought of himself, because she did not think those things of him.
"Bell'anar'is, you see these lines as marks of strength of will. You see them as beautiful, because they are a part of me, no matter how I came by them. You did not see the shame I carried, knowing in my heart that I was a weak and disgusting creature, because I knew no one would want someone so broken. You saw stories in my scars, not of shame, but of strength. The same can be said for you." Fenris said, before kissing the hand he'd held above his heart. His lips were now a mere breath away from her own, any closer and they would have been touching.
"The scars you wear now, tell a story to me. (He caresses the scars along her back) How a young girl fought off the temptations of demons for a week, enduring torture of nearly every kind, long enough for her father to come for her. Few others could have achieved such a feat, and even though I thought myself above such influences, I gave in to a demons offer when you never have. Your father knew the minute he saw you, what you had had to go through on your own. I can only imagine how proud he must have been of you, as he watched over you at night to keep the demons at bay, something I am sure he did out of love for you.
How she grew up, and fought for someone she did not know, risking her life even when that someone did not realize she offered such help freely. Many others would have left that man there, thinking it not their place to try and help him the way you did. How did he thank you, but to pin you up against a wall, and threaten to kill you. Even so, you continued to help him. (He caresses the smallest of her scars, the markings his gauntlets had left when he'd pressed her up against the wall that first day) He was more animal than man when you offered to help him, lashing out at anyone who looked like they might have magic on them.
I had never seen magic like yours, and I was convinced you'd be another magister like Danarius. I was a fool not to realize that there could be someone stronger than he, without the need for blood magic. I was a fool not to realize then that you were what every mage should try to be; Person first, mage second, more than a tool or a weapon. Many times, I have caught myself wishing that I had simply given in to the desire I had that day to kiss you senseless instead of threatening you as I did. Would I have known that this is where we would both end up, I may have attempted it.
(He moves to caress the scar she hides, and she hesitantly lets him) How that same woman was willing to sacrifice everything to save an entire city and the people she held dear. I watched as you preformed feats of planning that the Fog warriors themselves would have been proud of. You did with a city state, what Tevinter couldn't do with an entire country. You helped the city to fight for itself, and drive out the Qun. No one else, Bell'anar'is, has ever stood against an Arishok in single combat the way you did, and survived.
Those are the stories your scars tell me. There is never going to be another woman with stories quite like yours, not for me. Your magic is a part of me now, I can feel it in my bones, and I never want it to go away. That woman, that beautiful, brave, crazy, stubborn woman with no regard for self preservation, has never hidden from me before. Don't hide her from me now."
What was she suppose to do when he said such things to her? Surely he saw how afraid she was, how she trembled at the thought of what he was asking, but he just looked at her with eyes that spoke more than words ever could. She found herself looking down at the floor to keep from looking into his eyes, and lowered her arms the way he'd asked of her. Fenris tucked a finger under her chin, and brought her to face him again, kissing her till she found herself leaning into him, until she was no longer afraid. He was caressing the wound before she could think to stop him.
"You are beautiful, Bell'anar'is, every bit of you." Fenris insisted, moving to where she had to lay down on the bed to avoid bumping into him. "Tonight, I want to worship every inch of you, to show you how beautiful you are to me. You need to know that, I think, because I never want you to be ashamed of a scar like that again."
She wanted to tell him that she'd never thought he would think less of her. It was an insecurity of her own making, but when she tried to open her mouth to say something, he kissed the words away. He began kissing everywhere he could get to easily; turning her into goo as he kissed her breasts, kissing along the scar even though she was still nervous about it. He kissed it with such tenderness, like it was as much of a treasure as he thought she was. He was in between her thighs before she even realized it, and in her surprise she bit her hand to keep from yelling out.
"I told you that you would need to be quiet tonight, my little mage." He teased, his voice back to the deep timbre she could not resist. "What ever am I going to do with you?"
Even though he had asked it of her, well…more like ordered it really, she had never asked him to be where he is now. She had not asked him if he thought it to be demeaning for him, where he had been used so much for every purpose. It had been better, she knew, to ask him what he wanted. That had led to many surprising things, both were surprised that they enjoyed. He'd hooked one of her legs over his shoulder, and was about to kiss along the thigh when she stopped him for a moment.
"Fenris…we don't…we don't have to…if you don't want to…I've never asked this of you." She whispered, trying to convey her thoughts to him. He began kissing the inner part of her thigh anyway.
"I would not…be here…like this…with you…if I…did not want…to be, Bell'anar'is." Fenris said, softly, between each kiss. "I want this…want you…please, let me…I want you…to enjoy this."
She could only hum in response, putting an arm over her face as he began to kiss the most intimate part of her. He might not be a mage, but that tongue of his was magic. Hawke couldn't help the whimpering sound she let out when his tongue circled the little bundle of nerves he loved to tease so much. Was it possible to feel someone smile against you? She was sure she could feel him smile that smug smile of his, knowing that only he could make her sound like this.
He had been hesitant to try this with her, but the longer she had not asked it of him, the more he realized why she hadn't. She didn't want him feeling like he was back there, being ordered to do it because it pleased them. Yet, when he had demanded it of her, she had not only set about doing this for him, she'd enjoyed it. Now he thought it was a crime he should have corrected sooner. He would carry the memory of the little whimpers she made whenever he circled his tongue around her bud with him forever.
She bucked under him when he lightly sucked on it, and he grinned against her in spite of himself. Though she kept her voice quiet, she begged for him, gasping when he slowly moved two fingers into her. He wondered what humming against her would do to her, remembering what it had done to him, and decided to try it as he moved his fingers in and out of her. She gasped, and muffled the sound with the pillow.
"Tel dian…sathan…sathan, tel dian." She whimpered to him. Don't stop…please…please, don't stop.
He didn't know what that meant, but it sounded like begging for more. So he sped up his fingers just a touch, as he continued to suck and lick on her bud, and then he hummed again. It had been her undoing. She covered the sound, of her calling out his name, with the pillow. Another new memory, he thought with a smile, as he kissed his way up her body again.
"I think I shall cherish those tiny sounds forever, my little mage." He said, his voice filled with lust as he slowly entered her. "Bell'anar'is…I have missed this with you…"
Fenris set about a slow pace at first, not sure yet how much was too much now that they could finally be together in this way again. She responded by wrapping her legs around him, and he groaned. Makers breath, he had missed that, resting his forehead against her own for a moment. This would not be a physics defying stunt for Varric's friend fictions, but even this gentle love making shook him to his soul. He kisses her as she runs her hands along his back, gripping his shoulders, and he can't stop himself from picking up the pace.
"I have an idea." Bell'anar'is says, her voice barely above a whisper.
She isn't the only one having problems with keeping quiet, after all. Fenris had found that the sensation of being inside her again is too much to hold in, and had taken to moaning, with his face against her shoulder. He stops moving, and watches as she moves her hands about in odd motions. Suddenly he can't hear anything from outside, not even Barkspawn. The sound of the fire crackling in the fire place is the only thing he can hear, and it's so odd to him, that he moves away from her to test it.
He can't hear anything in the room, except for her breathing, and the fire. He sticks his head outside, and the sounds come back to him. Sure enough, Barkspawn is digging into the rug in the living room. Fenris closes the door, and returns to Bell'anar'is. She can't help but gasp aloud as he enters her again.
"Mea paulo magum…mea pulchra dea…Meum…Solum meum est…Tantum enim mihi." He moaned, nibbling on her neck as he continued to make love to her. My little mage…my beautiful goddess…Mine…Only mine…only for me.
She had taken to casting her slight healing spell on him again, and though it makes his eyes roll back into the back of his head, it is not what he wants this time. Gently, he takes her hands and pins them on either side of her head. When she goes to ask what is wrong, he kisses her before she can. Releasing her hands, he caresses everywhere he can get to this way. He can't help but want this to be special for her.
"Do not use your magic on me tonight, Amatus." He says, fondly, hoping she understands. "You are always taking care of me…I want…to take care of you…this time."
"Whoever said the magic was just for you?" She said, with an impish grin.
Fenris is surprised when she rotates her hips, and suddenly he is the one laying on the bed. This is something else they have never done, something else that would be normal for anyone else. He had been afraid it would remind him too much of before, but he is wrong. This is another new memory for him to cherish. He is unwilling to hold back the moan that hits him, as he throws his head back, gasping at the sensation of it.
The sight of her riding him has got to be the most exotic thing he's ever seen. The sounds she makes while in this new position are like music to his ears. He loves that he can grab her hips like this, but there is something more he wants. Gently, he pulls her to him till her face is closer to his own. What he does not expect, is for her to rest her forehead on his own the way he does to her.
"Ma' lath…" She whispers to him. My love…
He would think that this position would not do much for her, but he is wrong. She looks even more affected than him, and he is already nearing his end. Her pace has picked up, and he is afraid he will finish before her. When she lifts her forehead again, he takes one of her nipples into his mouth and begins teasing it. The affect is instant, and she begins moving even faster than she had been before.
Her moans fill the room, and his follow her. He can not help but to tease her other breast in the same manner. It is the tipping point, sending her over the edge. He follows soon after, gripping her hips as he thrusts up into her. The two rest in each others arms, not wanting to break the moment.
"That was…" He began.
"Wonderful." She sighed, happily.
"Your side…is it…" He asks, not sure how to say it.
"A bit tender, but it's fine." She replies, easing his tensions. He moves to kiss along the scar again.
"I think I've decided." He says, after a while. His head resting on her stomach, as he caresses from her scar to her hip.
"Decided what?" Bell'anar'is asks, running her hands through his hair.
"I believe I will keep that secret for now, Bell'anar'is." Fenris says, with a smirk. "As it is, the dwarf may already have bets."