Even after he removes himself from inside her, they could not be parted for long. The two fall into an embrace, and stay there, each caress a soft comfort. For how long they stay that way, she does not know. Time has ceased to hold meaning, or maybe it had stopped just for them. She has never felt safer than this, with his arms wrapped around her, and tells him so. He seems shocked to hear it, no doubt thinking of the many deaths he has been responsible for, just how many real beating hearts he has held in his hands.
At the same time she sees an overwhelming sense of joy in his face. She can see it in his eyes now that he loves her already, but this is a man for whom words have never come easily and for whom everything was new. The way his hands move along her body, the way his eyes gaze into her own, say everything he is not yet able. She is overjoyed he feels safe enough to share his feelings with her even in this way. It is one of the reasons she feels so safe in his arms. So whenever it looked like he could not find the words he wanted, she would give little kisses, and the tension in him would ease.
"Bellanaris...there is something I want to ask." Fenris says, after a while. "There are words I wish to say, you deserve them and more...and yet I...Will you be patient with me...till I can say them?"
"You deserve them too, Fenris, but I will wait until you are comfortable enough to say them before I say them back to you." She said, and smiled brightly, snuggling into him more as he pulls her in just a bit tighter. "Olia shar na eisi sholol sul'ema."
"What does that mean?" He asked, kissing her forehead.
"Only what you are willing to give." She sighs, pleasantly.
"Something you said caught my attention, a word you repeated many times...quite happily, I might add. Sal. What does it mean?" He asked, curious. He can see the blush cross her face.
She smiles, and whispers. "In this case? Again."
"And what does Ir 'nar mean?" He asked, a huge grin on his face now.
She could not help but look into those deep forest green eyes, as she replies. "I am yours."
Just then, someones stomach growls and breaks up the intensity of the romantic moment. Both begin laughing instantly, but neither will admit to owning the offending stomach growl.
"I suppose that means we need to try to venture out of the room and join civilization...if only to get more food, and come back." Fenris states, regrettably.
"Do we have to?" Hawke asks, with a pout. "This is the best place in the Hanged Man right now. I'd hate to just leave it." She rotates her hips against him as proof of her argument.
"Mmmhmm...I have to agree with you there, but somehow, I think it will wait for us...Bellanaris, did I hurt you? I was afraid maybe I was too harsh,...too forceful with you." Fenris said, as he began trying to tell her of his fears, which she quickly silenced with a kiss.
"Fenris, no, you did not hurt me. I enjoyed everything, and I do mean everything." She said, sealing it with another kiss. "I dare say I may never want to make another decision in the bedroom again."
"But Bellanaris...you've not seen yourself yet." Fenris replied, regretful. "I've left marks."
"Oh my...I rather like that one." She said, gingerly touching a bite mark on her shoulder. "If it makes you feel better, I've left one on you too."
"What?" Fenris asked, not believing her but there it is on his shoulder as well, and then smirks.
"I still can't believe you let me order you around like that, that you were willing to call me Master." He said, after a while, blushing all the way up to his ears.
"Well, I wasn't expecting you to take my remark quite so...literally, but I have to say...The results were well worth it." She said, with a pleasing smile as she thought back to their previous activities.
"Just so you know, there are many other fantasies I have of you." He says with a small grin. "Visu pulchra sis, mulier."
"Ir 'nar." She says soothingly. "Now, let's go get food. I want to see if we really can make it back here before anyone notices we're alive, and then you can tell me the meaning of what you've just said to me."
"It means, You are a beautiful sight, woman." He replies, with a small grin, before leaning in for a kiss.
Clothes seem like such a bother at this point, and they almost don't even make it to them, but neither wants to walk throughout The Hanged Man naked. Though there were several 'pauses' before they were actually able to make it to the door of the room. They leave the room once fully dress, and make their way to Coriff to see about food. Fenris chuckles a bit as he hears her grumbling about food puns she's used that no one finds funny.
Neither of them seem to notice Varric standing at the door to his room, eyebrows raised to his hairline as he watches them, not sure who's winning the bet now. He's not about to disturb them to find out either, but his mind is already racing with new material for his stories. There are several things he sees in quick succession, almost as if it's all trying to hit him at one time. The two are lost in each other with gentle caresses, small kisses, sighs, and smiles. He has to do a double take to make sure he's seeing things right.
Broody is smiling, actually full blown face splitting ear to ear smiling! This is a day that needs to be marked down on the calendar for events no one ever thought would happen. Even as Varric stares straight at it, he's not sure he's seeing things right. He may need to find the elf a new nickname if this keeps up. As it is, it looks like the elf's face might crack apart with that grin he's wearing.
Fenris looks at Wolf like she's the only light in the room, and Varric can't blame him. That woman is a force of nature in her own right. Neither of them had ever been much in the way of public displays of affection, but Varric does not miss the way Fenris caresses her face or that Wolf gently leans into the touch as if on instinct. That's another thing he can't seem to believe, even as he's seeing it with his own eyes. They can't seem to stop touching!
Every few feet, there seems to be some kind of pause that results in more kissing or a caress of some kind. Wolf would trip over one of the floorboards that Coriff needs to get fixed, and Fenris would to catch her with one arm around her waist and another holding her hand. She would smile at him, and place a small kiss on his lips. This would usually result in the pauses Varric is witnessing, as it does not look like the elf can resist her, or that she could resist the elf. At one point, Fenris gets a mischievous glint in his eyes, and really does pin her up against the wall, arms above her head as he holds her hands in one of his own...If only to kiss her more deeply, as he caresses places on her Varric pretends she doesn't have, before they break apart with difficulty and begin walking again. Isabella would have approved.
To be honest, Varric has never seen his best friend like this with anyone. She's softly smiling, looking completely love-struck as the two slowly make their way. Despite all her mischievous teasing and scheming with Isabella, Wolf has always been very reserved. The entire party could walk in and see them like that, which was probably about to happen anyway, and he doubt the two would even notice. He smiled, and went back to his table to prepare for the game.
Hawke is surprised to find that it is not breakfast in fact, but past noon and going well into evening. That would explain, now that she thinks about it, why everyone is sort of shuffling in right at that moment. Varric always hosted Wicked Grace nights. No one seems to really see them or says a word to them as each one heads back to Varric's room for Wicked Grace. The couple get their food, and make their own way back to Varric's palatial suite. Sadly, Hawke's room would just have to wait. Maybe they would have been more successful if only one of them had gone for food, but the thought of being parted at the moment seemed impossible to fathom.
The two are still kind of lost in their own world, even as they sit amongst their friends. Fenris has an arm wrapped around her possessively. Her legs rest over one of his own, as she holds the plate for them to pick their food from, as somehow they are able to fit onto the same chair. She rests her head on his shoulder, which is thankfully spikeless at the moment as he did not feel the need to wear his armour simply to go find food. If the others notice a change in her demeanor, they do not say so, though Varric is not subtle in his gaze.
Though she and Fenris have been unable to hide their smiles, after a while she gets a bit irritated, and looks to Varric with a sharp eye, and says. "Din ei tuav, Durgen'len." Not a word, dwarf.
"I wasn't gonna say anything, Wolf." Varric replies, raising his hands in mock surrender. He has no idea what she said, but the tone was clear enough. Both Merrill and Fenris choke on their food.
"Thu melana ema na harthem' em?" Merrill asked, looking up in shock. How long have you understood me?
"Eilar. Ahnsul? Ahn air ga'lin brithal eir? Ahnas del?" Hawke replies, thinking nothing of it, not realizing she has slipped into the language her father taught her. Always. Why? What is everyone looking at? What's wrong?
"Bellanaris, you aren't speaking in Trade. You are speaking Elvhen." Fenris whispered, in her ear. As he said that, Hawke began to look a little green, her breathing became erratic, eyes darting to check the exits.
"Hawke...Why did you never tell me? I thought I was all alone." Merrill asked, softly. "I know I live in the alienage, but still."
"You've seen Carver, Merrill, how human he looks. I'm only half. I've hidden all my life, I just never thought to stop." Hawke replied, still unsure how long it would be before she bolted from the room. Fenris gently took one of her hands, and he was currently rubbing along her spine with his other one. It visibly relaxed her. When she looks to him, it is with gratitude as she says. "Na'ran ena'ansal."
"I don't know what that means, Bellanaris." He said, with a playful grin.
"She said 'You are a blessing'." Merril translated, and then becomes instantly happy. "Oh, that's sweet. Does this mean I win?"
"Don't distract us yet, Merrill, dear. Hawke, why didn't you tell us?" Aveline asked, actually looking hurt.
"I...I just...I've always been hiding. It's become second nature. Gamlen is family, and he...Well, you've met him...It was just easier to hide, and it felt too late to un-hide when I realized I didn't need to anymore." Hawke tried to explain. Her friend eased up a bit, but Anders stared at her more intently now.
"I don't understand, it's not like you...Oh...Oh...." Anders had been about to say it's not like you look elvhen, but then he remembered what Varric said about everyone having a thing for her legs, and then he noticed her eyes were just a little bit bigger than normal, (How had he never noticed that before? Was this why she hardly ever let him heal her?) and then she tucked her hair behind her ears.
"You were saying?" She asked, before ruffling her hair back over her ears.
"Hawke, you and Carver are a part of our weird little makeshift family. Makers balls, you're practically our founders." Varric said. "Whatever secrets you have, are yours until your ready to share them. It's always been that way for us."
"Olia...shar na...eisi sholol...sul'ema." Fenris said to her, a reminder, hoping he'd said that right.
"Only what you are willing to give." Merril translated, before anyone could ask. "So, do I win?"
"It's Isabella win right now, though I have a condition to my bet that may take a while." Hawke said, with a smile, after a moment of thought. "I'm glad I didn't bet against myself."
"So, are we into sharing?" Isabella asks, sweetly.
"No." Both Fenris and Hawke state in unison.
"Well, double damn. Do I get to at least hear details?" Isabella asked, pretending to pout now.
"You were right about the electricity trick. It does wonders." Hawke says, grinning mischievously. Fenris silently nods in agreement, a slight grin on his face.
"What about the heated hands thing you were doing?" Fenris asked, looking a little embarrassed but playing along with her mischievousness. "I was quite impressed with that one."
"Now you're just being mean to me." Isabella huffs, but her smile says she isn't angry about it. "Can you at least tell me the colour of Fenris's small clothes? We have a bet going on those too."
"Where was I when that bet was placed? Now, I can see telling you what Varric's chest hair feels like, should I ever be lucky enough to touch it, but I don't know if I should be giving out such privileged information as the colour of Fenris's small clothes." Hawke replied, with a grin, thinking that she was glad he didn't actually wear any. Fenris could only blush slightly in embarrassment, but it had not been the first time Isabella guessed the colour of his smalls in public. It was, however, the first time anyone else could actually tell her what she wanted to know.
"Come on, let's play some Wicked Grace. I need to earn back some of the money I lost betting on Wolf's love life." Varric announced.
The rest of the night passed by with little to no incident. Carver's jaw hit the floor when he got there, realizing his sister was speaking in elvhen around their group of friends. He was like her in that he'd simply never thought to say anything to them. Gamlen's constant degrading behavior was another reason he had kept it to himself, but he should have known that this group would be different. Carver shared the latest Barkspawn verses the Guards stories, and had everyone laughing by the time he'd decided to stick around and play a few hands.
He eyed Fenris suspiciously, when he realized the next thing that had his jaw hit the floor. In all honesty, Carver never thought his sister would venture out to find someone after the mess that happened before. She had always been especially cautious after that. Playfully teasing her friends had been something new for her, but that was as far as she had ever taken her flirtatious behavior. It was good just to see his sister happy.
However it was also strange that Fenris actually knew how to smile instead of brood. He wasn't sure what his protective brotherly instincts were suppose to do about this. He wanted to see her happy, but he needed to make sure she'd never be hurt like before. It was an interesting development when he was told that Isabella held the lead, though Carvers and Fenris's bets still held, and that his sister's bet was the long con kind.
"Fenris, do you mind if I have a word with you? It's important." Carver asked, trying to appear as calm as possible.
"Outside then?" Fenris asked, curious.
"If you don't mind, yes." Carver stated, trying to ignore his sister's curious gaze. She had stood up to let Fenris up out of the chair, and he made his way to the door.
"Carver?" She asked, but he knew what her tone meant. Please be careful, I like this one.
"I just have some questions about training exercises, ideas I want to run by Aveline after I've worked them out with Fenris." Carver stated, which was only partially true. She didn't look like she trusted it, but she let it slide.
"Bellanaris, it will be fine." Fenris supplied, easing her tensions, and left when she nodded. Once they were outside of the Hanged Man, he said. "Alright, we have about 5 minutes before one of them tries overhearing why you really wanted to talk to me. So, start with the important stuff, and we'll end with the training thing."
Carver had to laugh at that, but he calmed down, and got down to business. "What I have to say won't take very long. Do you know what happened with her last relationship?"
Fenris nodded. "I am uncertain if she told me everything, but she told me enough...what she felt comfortable sharing. I've seen the scars."
"Then you understand just how much she trusts you. Break that trust, and I'll break your legs. Got that? I don't get the chance to do the whole protective brother thing very often, but I won't see her hurt like that again. It took too long to get her back to herself, and Father isn't here this time." Carver explained.
"Carver, I can not promise that I won't hurt her. This is very…new…for me. The only thing I can promise is that I will not physically hurt her." Fenris replied.
Carver made a disapproving noise, but said. "I suppose that's more honest than 'I swear I'll never hurt her'. One more thing, keep her safe while you lot are down in the deep roads. I don't think you realize yet just how reckless my sister can get."
"That I can promise easily." Fenris agreed. "Now, about that training thing."
"Now, I'm not taking about the whole glowing bit, but I was thinking maybe you could help train some of the guard in some of your sword fighting techniques, act as an opponent, things like that. Barkspawn is great, but I think the guards could use a bit of a change up every once in a while." Carver said, becoming very business like, wondering just where the others were trying to listen in from.
"It is something I will have to consider. I can promise nothing else." Fenris replied, matter of fact. "You should talk to Aveline before we get back though."
"Alright then, let's get back before Isabella tries to ply Sister with enough ale to get her to give up the colour of your smalls." Carver said, with a sigh, but the look on Fenris's face had him laughing outright. "She's already asked her, hasn't she?"
Once back inside, Fenris sat in a previously empty chair. Isabella kept trying to get Bellanaris to describe how she performed the electricity trick, and just what were the colour of Fenris's small clothes, though Fenris wasn't sure if that was meant to annoy him or Anders. It was certainly doing both, though he was having a difficult time being annoyed with Isabella when Bellanaris began caressing small patterns over his heart. It felt like she was weaving herself into his heart, knowing that he had offered it to her without words. Anders is definitely more annoyed than him, and could not stop glaring at the two of them, which Fenris was selfish enough to take a small amount of pleasure in. He counts himself lucky to be the one she wanted.
Bellanaris just ignored the glaring from Anders, and the questions about small clothes from Isabella, fully immersed in a conversation with Merril in elvhen. Aveline couldn't be happier to be wrong about her bet, and wished them both the best of luck. At which time, Sebastian walks in and is instantly filled in on Bellanaris being a half elf, and taken with Fenris. The tevinter elf is not sure whether the look that crosses the Chantry brothers face is relief or regret.
"Don't worry, Sebastian. Isabella will still try and tempt you." Bellanaris stated, looking to her friend.
"I think he was interested in the package deal of the two of us on him, sweet thing, but since you aren't into sharing..." Isabella said, letting her sentence trail off. Sebastian is already blushing by this point.
"How long have you been trying at him?" Fenris suddenly asked, shocking everyone.
"A few months, maybe? Not long before Hawke brought you in here." Isabella asked, suddenly suspicious. "Why?"
"It's just...to have so many under your belt...you haven't even managed to get him out of his armour yet, let alone his smalls. Why is it you don't guess the colour of his smalls anyway, or do you just assume they're white like his armour?" Fenris noted, sending Bellanaris into fits of giggles. "I thought his past was filled with sin and debauchery. I'm actually surprised you didn't try and get Anders to do the electricity thing on him just to see..."
At that precise moment, Merrill pops in out of nowhere and stands just behind Sebastian. Before anyone can warn him or ask what she's doing, she charges her fingers with just a touch of electricity and slowly runs them up Sebastian's jawline and along his ears. The chantry brother is unable to stop himself from a small moan, before sitting down suspiciously quick like while sporting the deepest blush anyone has ever seen on him. Carver looks completely crest fallen, before Merrill turns right around and does the same thing to him. She goes back and sits in her seat without another word.
"Merrill, where did that come from? You could have helped us tease him mercilessly!" Isabella said, incredulously.
"But I wouldn't have teased him. I'd give him anything he asked for." Merrill says, sweetly, and goes back to looking at her cards.
"Now the only question is which him is Merrill talking about? Sebastian, Carver, or both? Do we have a bet on that?" Hawke asks, causing both men to blush furiously.
Waking up next to Fenris that morning only reaffirmed that the last couple of days had not been a dream. She looked up at him sleepily, realizing that he was already awake and gazing at her. He offered her a warm smile, something she is glad to see more of, and she could only return it. She kissed along his collar bone as a sleepy good morning to him. It was a sentiment he began to share, and the two began kissing each other softly. She could read in his touch everything he wished to say in words, and tried to respond in kind.
Being in his arms every morning was going to become addicting. Having someone who wanted to make love to you every morning was not a bad way to spend a life, even if she never knew the life her mother was born into. Each kiss they shared became more heated, more passionate, and soon the clothes were gone again. She vaguely wondered why they even bothered wearing them. He was only just beginning to move inside her when a very loud kind of panicked knocking began emanating from the door. This was not what either of them wanted right now.
"Maybe, they'll go away." Fenris whispered, and kissed her forehead. To the offending knocker, he called out. "I suggest you leave…now."
"Hawke? Are you in there? Hawke! I stayed up all night working on the Manife-"
"Don't you dare open that door!" Hawke shouted, angrily, though it didn't stop Anders from trying to do just that. "Maker help you, if you barge in here just so you can pretend to show me the newest copy of the manifesto, I will set it on fire and shove it up your ass! Damn it, Anders!" It's at this point the door opens, and only Fenris's quick reflexes at pulling the covers over them save them from being completely nude. Anders froze, stacks of papers in his hands, eyes wide, and he must know not even Fenris can save him from what is about to happen. "THAT'S IT!"
He bolts out of the doorway, papers flying everywhere, but it is not enough to save him. Fenris had removed himself from her, knowing this was not going to end well for Anders. He looks like he wants to go after Anders himself, but she's beat him to it, so he would just have to find pants or something. Hawke wraps the covers around her like a makeshift toga and sets off, sending columns of flames down the hallway after him. She's shouting every blasphemic phrase she can muster, and a few she just made up on the fly. Anders bolts into the public bar section of The Hanged Man, thinking that he is safe from her wrath, but she walks through that door without a second thought, and continues sending flames at him.
Most of her friends have gathered as a bit of a send off breakfast deal before the expedition sends off later in the day. They only lazily watch as one of their friends gets nearly slow roasted as he's being chased by the friend who is doing the said slow roasting. This was the best entertainment anyone could really ask for. They are too enthralled to start placing bets, which is saying something. Anders trips and falls on his ass, an arm shielding his face, trying to scoot away... not that it would do him any good.
"Bellanaris, I think he gets it now." Fenris said, gingerly, looking a bit haphazardly dressed in only his trousers as he steps just in front of her enough to place an arm around her, and looks back to Anders. "No more bursting into Bellanaris's room uninvited. Isn't that right, Anders?"
"He does truly look repentant, if not extra crispy." Sebastian agreed, solemnly, as he tried to look anywhere at anything except Hawke.
"Tel baesia aelyl!" She shouts, angrily. Not nearly enough! No one asks her to translate. She shakes her head, and continues. "You could have waited to show me the manifesto copies, Anders, but you had to act like it was urgent business, which means you only wanted to pry because you were curious or jealous or both. Even when Fenris told you to leave, you still felt the need to barge in on us. You couldn't even come up with a halfway decent lie!"
"Come on, let's get back to the room...so you can get dressed. Anders will still be there to yell at, I'm sure." Fenris said, trying to guide her back.
She looks up at him suddenly, with tears that can no longer hide behind her eyes, and she cries into his chest as he holds her close. Fenris is a little surprised at how quickly she went from anger to tears, but does not try to stop her. Hawke can hear him every so often telling her that it is okay and not to worry about it anymore. She can only let him walk with her back to their room, as she cries broken bits of elvhen she knows he does not quite understand. She is lucky that it was too early for normal customers, but at the moment she can not bring herself to care.
Anders sees the scars of whip marks along her back as Fenris guides her back to their room. There is a story behind them he supposes, not that she has seen fit to share it with him. He does not miss the way Fenris gently caresses the scars that grace her back, the loving embrace the two share as Hawke is guided back to the room, or the pointed glare he gets from the elf as they leave either. Their other friends can only look at him with disbelief. Everyone who had seen the two of them over the past couple days knew she was happy, so they could not fathom why he thought to interfere in that.
She had been right about everything she'd shouted at him. The Manifesto copies had been a lie, but it had been the only one he could think of at the time. This was the last time he listened to Isabella's advice. Just go in there and tell her how you feel, she'd said, she'll either accept you or light your ass on fire. He had to know if it was true that Hawke had truly fallen for Fenris.
He had to know if his chance was truly gone. Anders had always told her that a match between himself and her would be a bad one when she would so brazenly tease him, that he would end up hurting her, but that did not stop him from wishing things could be different. Visions of her plagued his dreams in the Fade. Justice shouted at him that she was a means to an end or a distraction, but she could not be both. Maker forgive him, he ached for her.
What he wouldn't give to have her for himself, and yet she chose Fenris. Had he pushed her away too forcefully? Should he have tried to let her in? Why had he pushed her away at all? Justice harped on about freeing the mages, but he was starting to feel worn down.
Was he not allowed to have any of the happiness he fought for? The day he saw her lovingly held by Fenris, that animal that barely passed for a man, had woken him up to the very real possibility that she could be out of his reach. The truth was that she always had been. Anders had not expected to find Fenris in bed with her when he barged into the room, to find them like that. The few seconds he'd been in there it was clear to him that she had surrendered herself to the man above her.
Apparently, Anders mused ruefully, when Hawke devotes herself to someone she really devotes herself to them. He is embarrassed that he's seen them this way, but wishes more than anything that it had been to him that she'd surrendered herself. He hadn't expected her reaction to be quite so volatile. The woman who beforehand would hide the extent of her magic even from her friends, had brazenly taken to casting magic in anger at him in public whilst mostly naked. Those last two words echoed in his mind, mostly naked, despite the smell of burnt feathers filling his nose.
He hadn't realized she'd slowly become more comfortable with casting her magic in public over the last few weeks. She'd literally just set his ass on fire while walking around in nothing but a bed sheet! It was something he had been trying to get her to see that she could be for the few years that he'd known her, that she could be comfortable with her magic. She was the most powerful mage he had ever run across, and he couldn't fathom why she hid it from the world. With her power, they could turn back the tide for the mages.
He hadn't realized that the mage-hating Tevinter elf, out of all the blasted people in Thedas, had done what he could not. Fenris had made her feel comfortable with her magic. Varric had tried to explain it was one of those 'at first sight' deals, but Anders hadn't listened. Instead, he had gone to Isabella for advice. In hindsight, that had not been the best of ideas.
"Blondie, for the sake of the story you can be certain I will tell later, may I ask what you were thinking? Walking in there like that, you had to know that was suicide. Why didn't you just listen to me?" Varric asked, as he watched Anders get up and check to see how badly his coat was burnt.
"Would you believe temporary insanity, and the ill advised idea of asking Isabella for advice?" Anders asked, with a grin. "I thought that...maybe I wasn't seeing things right.….that maybe I'd missed my chance...I don't know...I don't want to hurt her, but I...why him?..."
"Anders, are ya daft? Invading her privacy in such a way will not convince her to trust you more." Sebastian stated. "Besides, even a blind man could see that he loves her."
"I smell the burnt feathers from here. Pay up." Isabella says, in greeting. Varric passes her a few silvers.
"Hey, what about me?" Carver objected.
"Technically he made no move on her, he just invaded her privacy, and maybe saw her naked." Varric replied, checking the book. "You missed the fireworks show."
"Wait. You saw my sister naked?" Carver asked, angrily, looking to Anders.
Just then Fenris , now fully dressed, walks into the public area of the Hanged Man, luggage hanging off his shoulder, and stops where they are.
"Never do that again." He says, without looking at him, and walks out the door. Hawke comes out a little while later, now fully dressed and bags in tow. She does not even look at Anders as she passes him.
"Let's get a move on, everyone. We have to meet Bartrand in 20 minutes." Varric said, getting everyone out of their revere.
A/N: Anything Fenris says in tevene is Latin. Any elven is the dragon age and project elven on archives of our own.