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The Ruin of Francis Webster, MP

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WhatsApp Group Chat – The Ricardians
Francis, Richard, Julius, You

Julius Norreys
I suppose we ought to assume you have the details well in hand, Richard?
Or should I say, Cyprian does? 2:32 p.m.

Richard Vane
There is a suite reserved in my name. I believe your flight lands before mine so please feel free to check in. If there are any problems, ask for Yvonne. 2:38 p.m.

Julius Norreys
Naturally you have a woman on the inside. I should expect nothing less. 2:39 p.m.

Richard Vane
Don’t make it sound so sordid, Julius. She’s a relation of Zoe’s. A cousin, I believe. 2:41 p.m.

Francis Webster
Who changed the name of the chat? 4:02 p.m.

You
If I didn’t mention it before, I will be leaving Tuesday. I need to be back in London by Wednesday. 5:14 p.m.

Julius Norreys
Who do you think changed the name? As if Richard or Dominic would do anything half so fun.
And what IS it you do on Wednesdays? Must be bloody important to miss out the last few days of Richard’s so-carefully planned week of debauchery. 5:15 p.m.

Richard Vane
For goodness’ sake Julius, I invited you along to a conference. It’s hardly going to be that bloody movie with the three men in Vegas. 5:20 p.m.

Julius Norreys

Do you mean The Hangover?
Good lord Richard, do you ever leave your office? 5:22 p.m.

Francis Webster
Even I knew that one. 5:25 p.m.

You
Julius – it is important. 8:30 p.m.


David Cyprian
Travel Arrangements, Las Vegas
To: Richard Vane

Mr Vane,

I have arranged for your car to arrive at 2:30 p.m. I have taken the liberty of securing a car for myself as well and will meet you at the British Airways gate. Upon our arrival, we have a car that will take us to the hotel. We will have a suite while Mr Frey, Mr Norreys, and Mr Webster will be in neighbouring rooms. In deference to their particularities I thought it best they have separate rooms.

Your cousin Harry will arrive on Friday. I know it is perhaps not the most ideal way to meet, but as he is currently living in Los Angeles, I thought it would be best for you to meet on, shall we say, neutral territory. You asked me to inquire after his present situation and I have obtained the following information:

Harry Vane arrived in Los Angeles a little over three years ago and has been working part-time as an actor since then. He has tolerable talent and good looks, but is nothing extraordinary, if you don’t mind me saying. He has shown no signs of activism like his parents, although he volunteers at soup kitchens during the holidays. He is well-liked but has no close circle of friends. He currently lives in a flat with five other young people in West Hollywood. I offered to fly him in from Los Angeles but he expressed that he would rather drive.

That is the broad strokes. He seems, in all, to be a very unobjectionable man and I do not think it would even occur to him to contest the conditions of the will. I do think, however, it is rather cruel to drag him through the precise hoops laid out in the document. Perhaps as executor of the will you might find it in your power to circumvent or perhaps leniently interpret? Forgive me if I overstep.

Yours sincerely,
David

David Cyprian
Executive Assistant
Allan & Bovery
Bishops Square,
London E1 6AD, UK
+41 020 7946 0334
davidcyprian@allanbovery.com

 

Richard Vane
[DRAFT] Greetings from your cousin
To: Harry Vane

Dear Harry,

I believe we met when you were just a baby, but I can’t blame you for not remembering that. I myself was only a boy, and from what I recall you were rather noisy

I am sorry to hear about your parents (note: ask Cyprian for the obituaries again so as to have the dates correct)

Our grandfather has recently died and in his will he left a small sum to you. I am the executor of the estate and as such would like to meet with you in person to discuss the terms (this sounds like I’m going to execute him)

My assistant David Cyprian has arranged for you to have a room in the Bellagio, where I will be staying as well. I’d like to take you to dinner as cousins and hopefully as friends.

 

Richard Vane
Partner, Head of Corporate Practice
Allan & Bovery
Bishops Square,
London E1 6AD, UK
+41 020 7946 0335
richardvane@allanbovery.com


iMessage
Julius
Why certainly, I would love to accompany you to meet your young cousin. Is there a particular reason you are bringing me along, aside from the fact that you are clearly terrified of meeting him?

Richard
I am not terrified. I simply think you will help put the boy at ease. You have a knack for that sort of thing.

Julius
Careful. That was very nearly a compliment.
Why not bring David?

Richard
I hardly think it’s appropriate to bring Cyprian into my family affairs.

Julius
Ah, yes, of course. What was I thinking.


Harry Vane
hey its me quick q
To: Silas Mason

Silas—

I guess this long lost cousin of mine works as a lawyer in London, for some firm called Allan & Bovery. Do you know anything about it or him? I don’t want to put you to any trouble but I’d like to know what I’m getting into. I’m pretty sure it isn’t a scam. His name is Richard Vane.

Harry

Silas Mason
Re: hey its me quick q
To: Harry Vane

Harry,

He looks real enough to me—I looked him up and while I can’t say he has the best taste in political friends, he’s definitely your cousin. Whether or not you want to meet him is up to you. Your parents cut ties a long time ago, but I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to meet him.

If you come to London, drop by my shop. Don’t forget me when you’re wealthy as the queen.

Silas


WhatsApp Group Chat – The Ricardians
Julius, Richard, Dominic, You

Julius
Every bloody time I forget just how much I hate Las Vegas until I am back. I suppose it is an early preview of what the church says I will meet in the afterlife. 11:22 p.m.

You
Don’t worry, I’ve stockpiled adequate lotion for your delicate skin. 11:23 p.m.

Julius
I realize you are mocking me but rest assured I will be expecting this when I arrive. 11:24 p.m.

Julius
You will not believe who I just saw in the lobby.
Gabriel Ashleigh! What the devil he’s doing here is yet to be determined. 12:03 a.m.

Francis
You’re joking. 12:05 a.m.

Julius
I never joke about an arse that fine, dear Francis. 12:06 a.m.


iMessage
Harry
Hi is this the right number for julius?
It was rlly nice to meet u

Julius
Yes it is. I assume this is Harry?

Harry
Yep that’s me :)
Do you have fb?

Julius
I’m afraid I’m not one for most social media. But you may follow me on Instagram if you like.


@hvane223 is now following @norreys.


Gabriel Ashleigh
Rematch?
To: Francis Webster

Webster –

We never resolved the matter of the debt I owed you at the end of our previous meeting. I’ll admit I was not on my best form when we played, but hey, we’re in Vegas, right? Where else to make ill-advised wagers?

Meet you at the poker tables at 9?

Ashleigh

 

Francis Webster
Re: Rematch?
To: Gabriel Ashleigh

I think perhaps this debt should be settled in private. I am staying in room 1223. I will see you at 9.

Francis


WhatsApp Group Chat – The Ricardians
Richard, Julius, Dominic, You

Richard Vane
Has anyone seen Francis? I knocked on his room for at least a minute but there was no answer. 9:34 a.m.

Julius Norreys
It’s not even ten in the morning, Richard, and SOME of us sleep. 9:41 a.m.

Richard Vane
I found him. We need to talk. 10:15 a.m.

Julius Norreys
All of us?

Richard Vane
Yes.



David Cyprian
! Request to call
To: Marian Simmons

Please call me as soon as possible regarding Mr Webster.


EXCLUSIVE: MP Francis Webster marries partner in Vegas
MP Francis Webster of Lincolnshire marries Lord Gabriel Ashleigh of Warminster in Las Vegas after whirlwind romance.

Representatives of Francis Webster today announced that the MP from Lincolnshire has married Lord Gabriel Ashleigh of Warminster in an intimate ceremony in Las Vegas. Sources close to the couple say that while the wedding was unplanned, it was unsurprising.

“They are very much in love,” says one friend. “I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

Lord Ashleigh is best known as an internet personality and model. The two met through mutual friends and quickly fell in love. The notoriously private Webster has chosen in the past to keep his relationships out of the limelight, and his representatives have asked that the public respect the newlyweds’ privacy.


WhatsApp Group Chat – The Ricardians
Francis, Richard, Dominic, You

You
I must congratulate you, Richard, on your quick thinking, though of course now Francis will have to be married to the delicious Lord Ash for at least a year for appearance’s sake. 4:33 p.m.

Richard Vane
I’m afraid I can’t claim credit for it. David did most of the work. 4:39 p.m.

You
Well, congratulate David on my behalf then.
It was masterfully done. 4:40 p.m.

Dominic Frey
Francis, what on earth were you thinking? Gabriel Ashleigh, of all people. 4:42 p.m.

Dominic Frey
Has anyone checked on Francis? He hasn’t been in touch. 6:20 p.m.

You
I walked by his room and judging from the racket I would suspect the new Misters Webster (or Lords Ashleigh?) are enthusiastically celebrating their union. 6:29 p.m.
They’re fucking, in case that wasn’t clear. 6:35 p.m.

Dominic Frey
Amazingly enough I had managed to parse that. 6:41 p.m.

Francis Webster
I thank you all for your concern and assistance in this matter. While the circumstances were somewhat less than perfectly desirable, I cannot say that I am unhappy with the outcome. Perhaps there was a better way of handling the situation, but Gabriel seems content. It is early to say, of course, but I at least do not believe we need to worry about how to handle a separation. 11:52 p.m.

Julius Norreys
Good Lord, Francis, you don’t mean to say the two of you are really in love?
What HAPPENED last night? 11:54 p.m.

Francis Webster
As you know, I am notoriously private. 1:03 a.m.


@LordAsh
The rumours are true…


iMessage
Francis
Gabriel, you will tell me if you are having any second thoughts?

Gabriel
Honestly if you’d ever fucked yourself you’d know how stupid you sound
That didn’t come out how I meant

Francis
I mean about the marriage.

Gabriel
Why don’t you come over here and I’ll show you the second and third thoughts I’m having about you


@LordAsh
@francis want your cock ins me now darling im gagging for it



iMessage

David
At least they’re married now?

Richard
Yes, I suppose it could be worse.