"Captain's log. April 28th, 30XX. All is as it should be. Commander P has reported that the new vitamin-infused water tested positive for consumption. We will rewire the main water pipes in about a week. Trajectory is once again passing the dwarf cluster CTB+B. Predicted pass point is- WOAH!" Commander Krupp was cut short as he started floating out of his seat, his camera automatically ending the broadcast. His soda shot out of its cup, floating in midair and doing loop-de-loops around the commander's head tauntingly. The commander just floated there, not sure what to say. Had the gravity malfunctioned? Maintenance check? Commander P joking around with him? He watched an unfinished sandwich drift upwards, topping by topping. What could have caused this-
Commander Krupp got his answer as the gravity had abruptly turned back on- to max. He plummeted to the floor, face-first. Soda rained down on him and sandwich debris fluttered down onto his back. Everything was still for a good few seconds, but then the commander hoisted himself up limb by limb, wiped what used to be his lunch off his face, and took a deep breath...
"GEORGE!! HAROLD!!" A guttural rage spread all throughout Commander Krupp, as his siren song for all who dared cross his path echoed and wobbled throughout the rooms, bounced off the pipes and skipped through the vents. These cries had silenced nearly everyone in the area.... except two quiet titters coming from near the Gravity Control Room.
"Oh man... That one's an oldie but a goodie! Thanks for snagging the keys again, Harold!" George giggled, giving Harold one of their patented quiet-fives.
"Well, thank YOU for giving me the idea, George!" Harold replied, returning the gesture. The two boys gave one more hearty chuckle, then with a knock of George's elbow and the busting of a loose vent, the two boys were off. "Gosh, it's always so dusty in here! Do they ever clean these things?" Harold complained, batting away a cobweb in disgust.
George rolled his eyes in amusement. "Of course they don't. The only ones who actually come down here are me, you, and..." George trailed off as something small and furry brushed up against his leg.
"SULU!" The boys exclaimed happily, as they looked at their bionic buddy. Sulu squeaked in reply, jumping into Harold's hair as the boys moved through the maze of vents. Turning left, right, left... the boys knew the way like the back of their hand. The path they always took was spotless, and you could tell where they would never go, as they were coated in a fine blanket of dust. The boys smiled at each other as they could hear the familiar stomps of their rotten commander beneath them, knowing he would never find where the boys had gone. George gave Harold a nod as they ventured forward, finally coming to their destination. Sulu unscrewed the vent screws, ran off and the two boys popped out, relatively unharmed aside from the dust.
“Welcome back, boys. You didn’t get into too much trouble today, did you?” Mrs. Hutchins said, as she sat in her hover-chair, reading the weekly bulletin.
“Not much, just the usual,” Harold giggled mischievously.
“I hope it wasn’t much. This is the fifth time this month, you two!” Mrs. Beard said sternly as she walked up to the boys. “...But I’ll admit, turning the gravity off on the commander was a little funny,” She finished, crouching down and ruffling the boys’ hair. “Now go finish your homework for the day.”
The boys ran off to their room and grabbed their tablets, eager to get it over with.
“Hey, George… How do you carry this again?” Harold asked, leaning over to talk to his pal.
“Oh, that’s easy. You just take this, see? Then put it over here so that it has a friend…” George went on and on, explaining to his friend, but a very different pair of people were also talking at the moment.
“So, the gravity got turned off again, I see?” Commander P said nonchalantly, drawing overtop a cartoony image of a brain.
“YES. IT DID,” Commander Krupp angrily responded as he paced back and forth in the meeting room.
“You really should learn to keep an eye on those two.” Commander P smirked snidely, not bothered at all by the slight rumble his co-commander’s footsteps were causing.
“I HAVE been! For several years! They always manage to evade my grasp! No matter what I do!” Commander Krupp growled, pacing faster.
Commander P chuckled. “Remember that one time when you tried to set up security robots? They drowned themselves in the community pool. Oh, oh, how about that camera system? That went down almost immediately, as soon as they had clogged the circuits by throwing pies at the cameras!”
“You built most of those things, you know,” Commander Krupp said, shooting an accusatory glare at Commander P.
Commander P’s face darkened. “Oh. Right,” he muttered grimly.
“That’s besides the point. You listen here, P! I’m gonna get those two boys someday… I’m not quite sure how yet, but I will. One day very, VERY soon,” Commander Krupp said, a malicious grin spreading across his face.
“Yeah, I sure hope it’s soon, bub. Melvin’s presenting the TT-2000 prototype tomorrow,” Commander P grunted, completely ruining the dark and ominous atmosphere.
“That was TOMORROW?! Oh my gosh, I totally forgot! I NEED TO GO CHANGE THE SCHEDULE!” Commander Krupp panicked, grabbing his hat and rushing out the door.
Commander P grumbled, going back to crossing out a small purple area of the brain aggressively.
“Professor! I mean, Commander! Sir! Mr. P!” An array of titles were being spat out as a tuft of ginger hair could be spotted running into the room.
“Melvin! Just on time! I assume the TT-2000 is ready?” Commander P greeted the young boy.
“Yes, with all the special accommodations you requested, sir!” Melvin said excitedly. “This will grant me extra credentials, right?”
“Of course, kiddo,” Professor P said absentmindedly, tousling the boy’s hair and sending him on his way.
“...And that’s how you carry it?” Harold asked a final time.
“Sure is, buddy,” George finished, patting Harold on the back as the two of them put their homework away and got out something more important- comic-making materials! The two boys looked at each other, twinkles in their eyes, and got to work.
George started with the lettering. “A long, long, long long long long time ago, there was a planet called… Underpantyworld!” Harold scribbled a pair of underpants onto the turquoise planet. “Yeah, that’s perfect!” George pat his best friend on the back, and then continued to weave their tale…
“Underpantyworld was a lot like our world, except… people only wore underwear!” Harold quickly drew on the mandatory jumpsuits everyone on JH-97 considered undergarments, and George nodded in delight. “One day though, they got attacked! And everything fell apart! So their king, Big Daddy Long Johns, and their Queen, Princess Pantyhose- wait, she’s a queen but also a princess? … Whatever. We can roll with it. Anyways, the… rulers, shot their little baby Underpants out to space in their finest spaceship, called the Waistband Warrior! And so, little baby Underpants grew to become the world’s greatest astronaut! Faster than Haley’s comet… More powerful than the pull of a black hole… Able to land on planets without getting a wedgie! He is… CAPTAIN GALAXYPANTS!!” The boys cheered, looking at their newly-finished comic. There the captain stood, exploring the cosmos… Harold sighed.
“Do you think we’ll ever get out of the ship? Y’know, actually explore space?” Harold asked wistfully.
“I hope so, Harold… I hope so,’ George said, patting his friend on the back, then getting up to turn off the lights.
“Night, George. We’ve got a big day tomorrow,” Harold whispered, tucking himself in and grabbing his stuffed dolphin.
“Night, Harold,” George smiled, and the two closed their eyes, eagerly awaiting the next day.