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you are everything I want (but more than I deserve)

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Darcy took a deep breath and planted her feet solidly on the ground before raising the gun. Her hands were steady; her breathing even, yet her finger itched hesitantly around the trigger.

She was just about to pull the trigger when she heard Natasha step up beside her, “No, малютка. Since you cannot see your target, taking too long will make you doubt yourself. Without sight, you must rely on muscle memory and your other senses. Soon it will become a second nature to you.”

Darcy nodded her head and she felt Natasha push her arms back down.

“Now. Again.”


Darcy moved into Avengers tower on a Saturday.

She lugged all her belongings with her, aka one suitcase, a guitar she couldn’t even play, her replica Captain America shield, and her stuffed kitten, Logan, 15 blocks to the tower.

She had been bribed into moving into the tower. She hadn’t wanted to move. She liked her own little apartment even though Jane often called it a death trap. But now she was moving. All because of Tony fucking Stark. That man would be the death of her.

Stark had hired Jane a month ago, much to her excitement. And when Darcy met him, she had immediately threatened to tase him as she had done Thor, if he took just one step out of line. He just replied with a smile and soon they were thick as thieves.

Within an hour of meeting they had already conspired to break into Fury’s office.

And when he found out that she was living in a 2 by 4 apartment, he had demanded that she move into his tower. After refusing for a month, Stark told her that if she moved he would pay off all of her student loans. She immediately refused but not a day later she received a notice that her bills had been paid. And so now she was moving into a tower. With superheroes.

When she arrived at the tower, she was quickly stopped at security. She argued with the guard for over a half hour before he received a text message, from Tony Stark himself, claiming that she was legit. The guard apologized before pointing her in the direction of the stairway and with an exasperated sigh Darcy began her trek up to the 16th floor. It wasn’t until she reached the fourth floor that a voice from the ceiling informed her that an elevator was located to her right. Without a second thought, Darcy praised the ceiling before clambering into the elevator.

The next hour was blurry. She remembered vaguely finding a door with her name on it, but she quickly fell asleep thereafter. It wasn’t until after her nap that she realized the ceiling had talked to her. Darcy cautiously asked who it was and Jarvis introduced himself.

To say that from that moment Jarvis and Darcy became best friends would be a vast understatement.

None of the Avengers were present in the tower and wouldn’t be back for a few more days. So with no one other than Jarvis to keep her company, they quickly bonded and Darcy spent most of the day conspiring with him. Stark had trained him well.

When not creating pranks with Jarvis, she spent the rest of her time decorating her new apartment room and hung up a whiteboard on the front of her door. Her room was on a floor with four other apartments. One was for Jane and Thor. Another was for somebody named Legolas, who she assumed was Hawkeye and not the character from Lord of the Rings. One just had an obvious spider sticker on it. And the last one was blank.

Since no other Avengers were present in the tower, not even Jane or Pepper, Darcy made herself at home. She took over the entertainment room and downloaded all of her favorite video games. She connected her Netflix to the huge theater TV screen. And she took over the kitchen. After asking Jarvis if any of the Avengers cooked, and receiving an almost amused “no” from the AI, Darcy decided to bake for everyone.

She made 5x the amount of food she normally would and left it in the freezer. Jarvis assured her that he would inform the Avengers of the food she made for them.

As the night grew closer, Darcy finished binge-watching her new obsession and she retired to her new bedroom and had one of the best nights sleep of her life.


Darcy didn’t think she would meet any of the Avengers for a few more days. But boy was she wrong.

That night, while she was sleeping, Natasha broke into her room and settled herself onto Darcy’s couch.

The next morning, Darcy clad in her Hulk pajamas, stopped short when she found the redheaded assassin sitting on her couch drinking her coffee.

“Who the fuck are you and why are you drinking my coffee?”

The woman in question put the mug down, before standing up and taking in the young woman in front of her.

“If I were Hydra you would have been dead 12 hours ago.”

“Well, at least I would’ve gone out happy. I had a dream I was getting some love from Captain America himself. Man his tongue…”

The woman’s face remained impassive, but Darcy swore she saw a little glint of amusement in her eyes, “I will train you.”

Darcy raised an eyebrow before nodding her head. The woman scrutinized her for a second longer before nodding and leaving the room.

“Hey, j-man.”

“Yes, Miss Darcy?”

“Who was that?”

“That was Miss Natasha Romanoff. Better known as the Black Widow.”

Well, that explains a lot.

Natasha’s idea of training was running 5 miles at 4 am and then retiring to the gym where they would weight train and fire guns until 8 am. Every morning, Darcy’s alarm would go off and she would drag herself out of bed, hair crazy and still half asleep. She would somehow make it down to the gym, where Natasha would promptly knock her on her ass.


Darcy met the rest of the Avengers one by one.

Clint shot her with a nerf gun. Multiple times. And when she complained to Natasha, she just told her that if she paid better attention during her training she would be able to avoid getting shot.

As the days passed, he kept shooting her. She never actually saw him. He was a ghost. According to Natasha, he only traveled by way of the air vents.

One day she was talking to a cute Agent in the hall and just as she was about to get to the date asking, a nerf dart shot out and whacked her right between the eyes.


A chuckle echoed from the vents and Darcy swore in that moment that she would get her revenge.

After two weeks of torture, she was at her wit's end. So with the help of Jarvis, she locked all of the vents instead of one. The one that led to Stark’s private bathroom.

She knew the plan had come to compilation when Jarvis informed her that Mr. Barton had entered Mr. Stark’s suite bathroom while he was in the shower.

An hour later, a pale-faced Clint arrived at her door.


Bruce met Darcy on a Tuesday.

She walked into Jane’s lab finding a scruffy man bent over a microscope.

“You’re scruffy and sexy and I want to adopt you.”

The man’s head snapped up his eyes wide as he took in the smiling woman in front of him.

And adopt him she did. Every few days she would drag him out for lunch and when they got back even though he would refuse to admit it, he always felt happier.

Captain American had been on a mission for Darcy’s whole first year in the tower. He was out looking for his best friend turned Hydra assassin.

Little did Darcy know one year into living in the tower, she would finally meet them both.


“Focus, малютка.”

Darcy shook her head and quickly raised the gun again. This time instead of hesitating, her finger went straight to the trigger. But as she began to pull the trigger, the door to the gym slammed open and a loud shout caused her hand to jerk, igniting the gun.

Another loud shout rocked the room and Darcy ripped off her blindfold to see a gorgeous man standing in front of her, blood rolling down his arm.

The man glanced down at his bleeding arm before looking back up in disbelief at the woman in front of him.

“You shot me!”

Darcy’s mouth was wide open as her gaze swung from the man to Natasha, the words stuck in her throat. Her arms dropped down, her one hand gripping tight to the smoking gun, her other hand running over the top of her thigh. Those words….those words had been ingrained in her mind all her life. She hadn’t thought she would actually shoot somebody, she had figured it would’ve been a nerf dart or laser tag. That's why Clint had put her so on edge. It wasn't just the fact that he wouldn't stop shooting her but for the first few weeks, she swore he was her soulmate. But that was quickly forgotten when she shot him in the ass and he yelled at her saying that only he was allowed to shoot people in the ass because he was Cupid.

“What are the odds of you hitting his real arm instead of the one made of metal?” Natasha snorted.

Darcy turned pointing an accusing finger at Natasha, “I told you I wasn’t ready!”

Another man stepped into the room and immediately went right over to the bleeding man, “What happened?”

The man raised an eyebrow before gesturing to Darcy with an amused expression, “She shot me!”

The other man turned to face the blushing Darcy, whose eyes grew wide as she recognized the man. Captain America. She shot Captain America’s friend. Friend. She had shot Captain America’s Best Friend aka Hydra’s Best Assassin, who was also her soulmate. Just kill her now.

The Captain opened his mouth, but before he could speak Darcy ran up to him, ignoring the man beside him, not wanting to deal with that now, “It’s her fault! I am so so sorry. I knew I would hurt someone. But someone,” she threw a glare at Natasha, “said I needed to be taught.”

“If it helps, I didn’t think you’d actually shoot anybody,” Natasha said with a smirk.

Without warning, a laughing Clint dropped down from a nearby vent, “Oh, I can’t wait for Stark to see this footage.”

“He already has,” Stark said sauntering in the room with a smirk. He walked by the bleeding man, whacking him on the back, “You’re even worse with women than Capsicle is.”

The Captain rolled his eyes and turned to say something but was once again cut off when Stark turned to Darcy, “Spawn! Thank you for doing what I wish I had done weeks ago!”

Darcy glared at Stark, “Tony, shooting people isn’t nice. We’ve already had this conversation.”

The bleeding man scoffed, “Says the girl that shot me.”

“I said I was sorry!”

“No you didn’t- wait.” His eyes widened as his hand flew to his ribs, Darcy’s eyes following, knowing that her words were there. But before he could say another word, she was already halfway out of the room.