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Mulder fumbled with the key in the lock which seemed to be made more difficult by the ringing phone on the other side. He was finally granted access and lunged at the handset on the desk.

 

“Mulder.”

 

There was a pause on the other end and then a delicate clearing of a throat.

 

“Agent Mulder. It’s DSI Stella Gibson.”

 

“Hi, uh, Stella. What do we, er, I owe the pleasure?” Now he was clearing his throat.

 

“I’m on a case in Belfast and something has happened that I feel the need to inform you and Agent Scully,” she said in a clipped but not angry way at which the British excel.

 

“Okay. Scully’s not here. Should we call you when she’s back in the office?”

 

Another pause.

 

“No, that’s alright. If you could just pass it along.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“I’m investigating serial murders, and it appears last night the killer was in my hotel room,” said Stella in unaffected monotone. “I keep a journal, a dream journal, and he left me a message in it.”

 

Mulder’s stomach rolled at this information. He’s not sure how any of this involved him and Scully, but the thought of Stella being harassed this way made him ill. He has been on the receiving end of messages from psychopaths many times. Mulder could tell this phone call was difficult for Stella even with her calm tone.

 

“Not too long after our night together, I had a dream that featured both you and Agent Scully, and I recorded it in that journal. I wrote both of your names in it. It’s very possible that the killer read that passage. The journal is now in evidence. I don’t think there is any danger, but since it is now in the hands of the PSNI I thought you both should know.”

 

Mulder slowly nodded as if Stella could see him.

 

She continued in the wake of his silence. “Obviously, it was never intended for anyone but me to see. I apologize for you both being involved in this way, the invasion of your privacy--”

 

“Don’t apologize, Stella, please. Are you alright? Can we help in any way?”

 

“No, no, but thank you,” she said. “I just felt you ought to know.”

 

“Well, take care of yourself. Really. I hope you catch the son of a bitch.”

 

She smiled at his American tough guy term. “Goodbye, Agent Mulder.”

 

Stella replaced the phone in its cradle and stared at it. It was almost a relief that Scully wasn’t there. She knew that Scully wouldn’t have been able to brush it off the way he had even if she had tried. She sensed her same reserved discreetness in Scully, and knew this development would shake her. Stella hoped, in vain, that it would not sully the memory of their night for her.

 

She shook her head slightly as if that would stop her emotions about it all. She had work to do and a killer to catch.

 

***

 

Mulder entered his apartment and went straight for the answering machine. He hadn’t been able to get a hold of Scully all day. He hit play next to the blinking red light, hopefully.

 

“Call received: 8:01PM,” informed the automated voice.

 

Missed her by five minutes, Mulder thought.

 

Scully’s voice came over the speaker. “Mulder, it's me. I wanted to let you know that I'll be out of town for a day or two. It's a family emergency. I'll ...I'll call you when I can.”

 

He picked up the phone and quickly dialed. “Hey, Scully, it's me. Pick up if you're there. Scully? Are you there? All right, I just got, I got your message and I hope everything's okay. I'll try you on your cell right now.”

 

Panic started to set in as he called her cell. There was no answer there either. He left another concerned message. Frustrated, he hung up, grabbed his keys and hurried out the door, the news from Stella that he was supposed to relay long forgotten.

 

***

 

They rode back from the Cigarette Smoking Man’s fake office in silence with Mulder seething in the driver’s seat. Scully could feel it radiating off of him. After seeing the empty disk and the empty offices, she had felt so stupid, but the more she thought about it—as Mulder silently condemned her—the more pissed off she became.

 

As soon as he pulled up to the curb and before he could put it in park, Scully was out of the car. Mulder scrambled out and scoffed, “What the fuck do you have to be mad about?”

 

Scully stopped and breathed in deeply before turning around.

 

“Mulder,” she said, his name sounding like it was under the weight of a thousand UFOs.

 

He looked at her, waiting.

 

“I just ...I just want to go home.”

 

“Fine. Call me if you’re going to have another sleepover with Smokey. Or don’t. The fuck should I care.” He left her standing there, warring with a mess of conflicting emotions, but no energy to confront even one of them.

 

***

 

Mulder was trying to rally Scully with a pep talk, “That's the job, Scully—vigilance in the face of deprivation, the sheer will that it takes to sit in this crappy room spying on the dregs of society until our suspect surfaces. There's something ennobling in that.”

 

While she’s come to see his relentless enthusiasm in the absence of the most basic creature comforts as endearing, it was times like this that she wanted to pull her gun on him.

 

Seeing that she was still uninspired he was about to further ruminate on their lofty position in this filthy loft when his cell phone interrupted him.

 

Mulder took the call, and without an explanation left Scully to view the “dregs of society” on her own.

 

After her minor disbelief at his insensitivity subsided, and after dealing with her all too familiar ‘Mulder has ditched me again’ emotions, she felt an uneasy dread settle into her bones. How many times has he done this before? It would be laughable if it wasn’t so annoying—and, at times, highly dangerous. But now that she had ditched him once— once , for fuck’s sake—any act of deserting on his part affected her heart more than her nerves.

 

They had spent most of the weekend apart after she had returned from her unsuccessful excursion with the Smoking Man. At first she had felt guilty; she knows exactly what it feels like to be left high and dry by your partner. Scully had searched herself for any signs that she had unconsciously done it as some sort of retribution, and she was fairly certain that that wasn’t a factor, but she wondered if, deep down, it served as payback. Not wanting to face that potentially petty side of her, she had pushed the worry back and covered it with her more honorable reasons and excuses.   

 

Armed with those defenses, she had been the first to break the silence. Scully had showed up at his apartment ready for an argument, but what happened was not the volleying of debating points like she was intending. It was a heated and passionate battle for the upper hand as well as fighting against the acknowledgment of some of the more unhealthy attributes of their relationship. There was no discussion. There was no calm exchange of feelings. There were mean remarks spat at each other and ultimatums disguised as challenges. And there was sex. Rough, punishing sex where they both felt like the punisher and the one being punished. The pretense of a resolution came as they came—orgasms to smooth things over. A comforting blanket of false absolution enveloped them as they brought each other to ecstasy. The jumbling of their nerve endings seemed to fall back into place without the anger and the animosity that had their blood boiling. But it was all still there. She knew it, she felt it. Mulder had gotten so unreadable to her that she didn’t know if he felt it, too, or if he was in denial.

 

There was a rift now. Their love had always seemed cosmic in nature. If this was a tear in the fabric of their time and space, what would happen if they fell into the vacuum of it? Would they fall back into that brief time of peace or would they go hurtling toward an astronomical end, slamming against meteors and asteroids along the way? She could not shake these feelings, and resentment started to seep in.

 

***

 

Scully answered the door wearing a fluffy terry cloth robe and a tired expression.

 

“Hey. I was just about to crawl into bed and sleep for ...ever,” she said walking away, letting Mulder close the door behind him. “How’d your case go?”

 

“Fine.” He stood, staring despondently at a fixed spot in space. A troubled feeling had taken up residence in the pit of his stomach on his drive back from Vermont. It had been too easy for them to separate and work on their own. They had each solved their case without the help from the other.

 

She looked at him with slight concern, but was too exhausted to pry. “Mulder, I’m so tired. Can I just see you Monday morning?”

 

“Monday? Uh, yeah, okay. I guess I can write up my report. Get some things done.” He made no attempt at moving. An awkward silence descended on the living room, causing them both to feel claustrophobic.

 

Scully swallowed her natural inclination to ask what was going on with him. She vowed to herself when she left that God forsaken warehouse that she would devote the weekend to self-care, and not give in to Mulder’s selfish behavior.

 

“Okay, so, Monday. See you Monday, I guess.” He made a half-hearted motion of defeat with his hands. “Get some rest,” he said as he finally made his way to the door.

 

***

 

“It’s not fucking witchcraft, Mulder.”

 

“Why not? What was that substance then? I’d put my money on ectoplasm.”

 

Scully groaned loudly. “I sent it to the lab. Why are we even talking about this? We can figure out the next step when we get the results.” She shrugged on her blazer and picked up her briefcase.

 

“I guess ectoplasm isn’t good dinner conversation anyways.”

 

“Dinner? I think I just want to go home, Mulder. Do you mind dropping me off on your way?”

 

“Oh.” He waited for his hurt response to have the desired effect, but she just looked at him expectantly. He grabbed his coat and passed by her with a heavy sigh.

 

Scully suppressed her instinctive roll of the eyes and followed him out of the station.

 

The car ride was much of the same: passive-aggressive sighs, pursed lips, and stiff body language.

 

“C’mon, Scully. I’m starving. Are you sure you don’t want to go get food? Or we can order take-out.”

 

Scully was irritated, but did not want to get into an argument with him. She had closed the discussion on the case for the time being, and wasn’t about to entertain this substitute for a debate. “I’m not that hungry. I might make myself a salad or something. You can stay and have that if you want, but I don’t have much at the house.” She knew the weak, conciliatory offer wouldn’t appeal to him. She was right.

 

“No, thanks. I’ll figure it out.”

 

His heart sank. It had been weeks of this pathetic back and forth. Their only intimacy since the whole Smoking Man debacle had been some angry fucks—after which, bitter feelings were assuaged for a short period, only to reappear a day or two later. It had been a perverse cycle that was broken by Scully’s cold and distant attitude.

 

He tried to behave normally, hoping she would work through whatever it was, but it seemed to be getting worse, and he found it difficult to hide his frustration and disappointment. Of course, talking to her about it might clear things up, but every time he started to bring it up he chickened out.

 

Scully got out of the car with barely a goodbye, and left Mulder to tend to his growling stomach and bruised feelings.

 

***

 

Angrily, Scully picked up Mulder’s fallen burrito. The slideshow continued to click through—a source of her frustration with him even in his absence.

 

“Crop circles. Give me a fucking break,” she muttered under her breath. She deposited the burrito in the trash on top of the salad she had indignantly thrown away after his departure.

 

The phone rang as she struggled with the uncooperative projector. Unable to turn it off, she grabbed the handset in a huff.

 

"Scully," she said, tersely.

 

“Hello, Scully. It’s Stella Gibson.”

Chapter Text

Mulder seethed his whole way home. He couldn’t understand her behavior, her outright dismissal of his work—their work. He was so sure that a trip to London would get her out of this funk, even if it was on the pretense of computer generated crop circles. She had done it before, let him take a flimsy case that was barely an X-file because she wanted to get away with him.

 

And what a trip that had been. Scully was playful and affectionate; he was happy. Being away allowed them to really let go of the sadness that constantly surrounded them. Reminders of Samantha, and cancer, and abductions were an ocean away. They could just be. Mulder didn’t take advantage of those moments of happiness. It was such an unfamiliar feeling that he had no choice but to recognize it when it happened. He truly cherished these times with Scully, knowing it could all disappear in an instant.   

 

He had thought he had lost her when she pulled that stunt with the Smoking Man. First, he feared for her safety and for her life, and now he feared his reaction to it all has ruined the good thing they had going. He knows she thinks he treats her unfairly, and he’s mature enough to admit (to himself) that he does sometimes, but he never could bring himself to apologize for punishing her for what she did, which he has done to her countless times before. Every time he thought to do it his anger bubbled up and drowned out his rational thoughts. He was so afraid that something had happened to her, and the intensity of those feelings always transformed into acrimony rather than understanding.

 

But, he justified, she was doing the same thing. How could she not see that his invitation to London was anything but an attempt to smooth things over? And a chivalrous attempt at that. This wasn’t a small gesture. This was a transatlantic trip back to the city where they had some of their most blissful moments as a couple. Not to mention that night they shared with Stella.

 

Stella.

 

He never had told Scully that she had called. He paused his imaginary debate, wondering what happened with that serial case. He decided to look her up while he was there. Not out of spite, he told himself. At least he didn’t think it was.

 

***

 

“Stella. Hi! What a surprise,” Scully said, letting out a shaky breath, trying to calm the nerves that were so raw when she answered the phone.

 

“I’m surprised I got you on a Saturday. I was going to leave a message.”

 

“Unfortunately, it’s not that unusual,” Scully said, rolling her eyes.

 

“Well, I’m in D.C. Thought I could take you and Mulder out for dinner.”

 

Scully’s eyes grew wide, and a sharp breath got caught in her throat. “Uh, um, well…” Scully faltered.

 

“It’s a simple dinner invitation, Scully.”

 

Yeah, but things are anything but simple at the moment, Scully thought. Not sure of the best way to explain Mulder’s solo trip to London, of all places, and not wanting to express any of the volatile emotions raging within her, Scully just laughed.

 

Stella was unconvinced. Something was going on with her and Mulder. Her time with them had been so brief, but she was good at reading people, especially people similar to herself. She recognized the masking of feelings instantly.

 

“Right. Well, Mulder is heading out of town, and I, I-- I would love to go to dinner with you,” she said with some defiance in her voice—defiance meant towards Mulder. Stella sensed this, too.

 

“Since it’s just you, why don’t you come to me. I’m staying at a friend’s home in Great Falls,” informed Stella.

 

“Give me a number where I can reach you, and I’ll call you once I’m finished with work.”

 

Stella gave her a local number, and Scully jotted it down.

 

“Can I bring anything?”

 

“No, no, just yourself. See you then.”

 

Scully kept the phone to her ear as Stella clicked off the line and the dial tone replaced that sultry, British voice. Thousands of thoughts ran through her brain, rendering her motionless.

 

***

“I’m out for the evening, Mulder,” Scully said, purposefully vague.

 

Mulder scoffed. “Well, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?”

 

Desperate to get off the phone with him, she dropped the attitude but remained non-committal. “Look, um ...why don’t you leave the address on my answering machine, and, uh, I’ll try for you.”

 

Mulder set down the phone, his initial anger giving way to consternation. Their whole conversation felt familiar, but not comforting in any way. It was a disturbing sense of deja vu. He tried to shake it off and returned to packing.

 

Scully resisted the urge to hurl the phone across the room. This has been some fucking day, she thought. She wanted to get off this exhausting mental roller coaster. It was all too much—the fight with Mulder, seeing Daniel, Maggie, Stella.

 

Stella.

 

She focused her mind on Stella. It was so tempting to push aside these responsibilities and seek comfort in her.

 

Scully pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and dialed the number on it. The breathy voice that answered gave her a tingly feeling in the pit of her stomach.

 

“Hi. It’s Scully. Listen, I, uh, something’s come up, so I have a bit more running around to do than I thought.”

 

“You were brought up in Croydon, too?” Stella mumbled with a chuckle.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“Nothing. It’s all right, Scully.”

 

“I was just calling to see if later tonight is okay with you.”

 

“Oh.” Stella smiled, happy her instincts were wrong. “Yes, whenever you free up.”

 

Scully hung up and tucked the piece of paper, that now had Stella’s address on it, safely in her jacket pocket. She flicked her wrist to look at her watch. She would go see Daniel, get those files for Mulder, and then head to Stella’s. The prospect of ending this horrible day in her presence propelled her into motion.  

 

***

 

“Scully? Scully, you there?” Mulder’s voice trilled from the fallen phone in her lap.

 

Scully snapped out of the trance the blonde woman with the ponytail seemed to have her in. Her heart racing from the near accident, she tried to calm herself with a deep breath and picked up her cell phone. “I’m here. I just-- what is it that you need, Mulder?” She sighed, heavily.

 

“I have that address.” He paused. “Is everything okay, Scully?”

 

“Yes. I’m fine. I thought I asked you to leave it on my answering machine.”

 

“Yeah, I know. I just thought I’d catch you before I boarded…” His voice trailed off.

 

“Can you call back and leave it in the message. I’m driving right now.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay. Safe flight. Bye.” She ended the call, distracted by a million other things.

 

Mulder pulled the phone away from his ear as if it stung him. In fact, her terseness did sting. An unsettling feeling had been niggling at him since their last call. He had finally pinpointed that deja vu notion from earlier. Their exchange was just like the one they had when he called her from Graceland—right before her infamous date with Jerse. It felt like their relationship which had grown in leaps and bounds since then snapped back to that horrible time; that time where Scully felt suffocated by him, trapped in this life with him. He had acted like a jerk about the whole thing, during and afterward. Then the news of her cancer had followed, and he realized he never really made up for how awful he was. Mulder considered canceling his trip. He had even made a U-turn on his way to the airport but then thought better of it. Maybe giving her some space was the best thing. He would call once he got to the airport, and say a proper goodbye—one between lovers, not professional partners.

 

Well, that plan had gone terribly wrong. Scully was miles away from him already and he hadn’t even gotten on the plane yet. He felt physically sick, his nerves all jumbled up in his chest and bloodstream, constricting his breathing and making him feel lightheaded.

 

As soon as he got on board he found the flight attendant and asked him for a Scotch. He called Scully and left the address on her cell phone voicemail, half hoping she would pick up, but fully expecting that she wouldn’t. He ended his message with a weak “have a good weekend” that made him groan and bury his face in the headrest in front of him.

 

“Lemme get that Scotch for you, sir. You look like you need it,” said the flight attendant passing by.

 

“Thanks,” Mulder muttered, pitifully.  

 

Scully tossed her cell phone to the passenger’s seat, and then gripped the steering wheel forcefully. Her chest was tight, a side effect of suppressing frustration all day long. She glanced behind her and pulled over once it was clear. She needed to collect herself and calm herself.

 

She was still reeling from that conversation with Daniel. She seemed to be disappointing everyone today, and now here was Daniel reminding her how she disappointed him nearly ten years ago. She wanted to be angry with him for saying that her reason for leaving was an excuse. It was an important reason, and his dismissal of it made her feel silly and childish. And it was one of many reasons, which she had explained to him exhaustively at the time. But, seeing him in that hospital bed, so vulnerable, softened all those hard feelings. The comfort she found in his eyes drew her to him, and she found herself back in his orbit. It was a strange feeling, especially now with what is going on with Mulder and Stella in town. She felt as if she was being tugged in all different directions and didn’t know which way she wanted to go. Out of all these influences that have presented themselves to her today, which was the answer to her own questions and not anyone else’s?

 

Each time the thought of Stella popped into her head, she viewed her as the light at the end of this weird tunnel in which she found herself. If she could just get to her, she would be okay. She pulled her car back onto the road as dusk started to set in.   

 

***

 

FUUUUUUUCK! screamed Scully in her head, her jaw clenched. She was standing on this stranger’s porch looking at a heart chakra crop circle image and being summoned back to the fucking hospital. This is a nightmare. I’m living in a nightmare, Scully thought as she got back in her car.

 

The woman’s parting words played over and over in her mind as she made her third trip to the hospital. “You may want to slow down,” she had said. Gee, thanks, lady. Christ. Everyone has an opinion on what I’m doing, don’t they? Well, fuck you and your Taoist bullshit. Scully fumed the whole way. She should’ve been heading to Stella, not dealing with snippy remarks from strangers or orders from authoritative lovers from her past.

 

***

 

Scully stood outside the entrance to the hospital. She was shaking, and tears kept threatening to appear, hot and stinging behind her eyes. It wasn’t just Daniel’s near death that had shaken her, but the conversation that had preceded it. He was the one with the weak heart, but her resolve had folded so quickly as she became that young girl again, eager for his approval. It had felt so good to rest her weary head on his chest and feel his allaying touch. It could be so easy to surrender to his guidance. She chastised herself for even considering it, but have any of the decisions she’s made in life been any good at all? She had ended it with Daniel for many reasons; a major one being that she didn’t want to be the cause of anyone else’s pain. It sounds like her leaving had done the opposite. It had continued to hurt his family, and him, as well. She had gotten a career at the FBI out of it, but that came with so much heartache that it was hard to view it as a good outcome of her decision. She had lost her sister and gained a chip in her neck. She had waited seven long years for who she had thought was the love of her life only for that to end up in some confusing relationship limbo.

 

A doctor stepped past the automatic door and pulled a cigarette pack from her pocket. The smoke wafted Scully’s way as the doctor took her first puff. She inhaled deeply. God, that smells good.

 

“Excuse me, can I trouble you for a cigarette?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” said the woman, holding the pack out to her.

 

“Thanks.” Scully put the cigarette between her lips and leaned towards the flame she offered. Scully took a long drag. “Oh my God.” She slumped against the wall with a satiated exhale.

 

“Been a while?” asked the doctor with a knowing smile.   

 

“Yeah. Quitting might be overrated, now that I think about it,” Scully said, luxuriating in the plumes of smoke.

 

“I never bothered trying,” she shrugged.

 

They smoked in silence. The nicotine seemed to calm her addled mind and steeled her nerves. It also gave her a bit of high, and she welcomed the lightheadedness that came with it. Just the act of smoking, doing something that she wasn’t supposed to be doing, buoyed her confidence. She was in charge of her decisions. Not Mulder. Not Daniel. Not the Surgeon General. Dana Scully was in charge of Dana Scully, and right now Dana Scully was late for a date with Stella Gibson.

Chapter Text

Scully knocked on the door of the stately home. Some of her confidence was burned up by the sudden onset of nerves. The last time she saw Stella was the morning after a threesome, for Christ’s sake. It was impossible for her to not feel awkward about seeing her again.

 

Not impossible for Stella, though. She opened the door and greeted Scully with a comfortable ease, which made Scully even more hypersensitive to her own nervousness. Neither of them made a move to embrace, Scully standing rigidly in the doorway, and Stella giving her the once over while gesturing for her to come in, a gentle smile on her face.

 

“I was beginning to wonder,” Stella said.

 

“Today has been ...a day.”

 

“Oh?” Stella started walking into the house towards the kitchen. Scully followed.

 

“Glad it’s over, is all,” said Scully, quickly, hoping to end the subject that she had regrettably brought up.

 

Stella went to the wet bar just off the modern kitchen. “Wine? Or something stronger?”

 

“Whiskey, please.” Scully tried to say this with casual coolness. Truth was she never really drank whiskey, but it reminded her of that night. She remembered the way it tasted on Stella’s lips.

 

Stella crooked an eyebrow, amused by Scully’s obvious display of nonchalance. She pulled two tumblers down from the shelf and opened the ice drawer, all while watching Scully. She removed her jacket and hung it on the back of the stool at the island of the kitchen. All the appliances were state of the art, maybe even commercial grade. Brushed stainless steel amongst midnight black granite countertops. A geometric pattern zigzagged on the backsplash of the main double sink and matched the one behind the bar. Already feeling out of place, the expensive design made her confidence shrink to almost nothing. She tried not to let the faltering inside her show by looking around with the impression that she was interested in the architecture and decor.

 

Stella handed Scully her drink, making direct eye contact with her and holding it, challengingly. Scully felt heat rise in her cheeks, but met Stella’s eyes. She quirked an unsteady smile, and brought the drink up between them.

 

“Uh, cheers,” she said, her composure losing steam under Stella’s observation.

 

Stella let her off the hook. She smiled and said, “Cheers,” and they clinked their glasses. Stella still didn’t move from Scully’s personal space. She had one hand in the pocket of her black slacks, and held the glass to her mouth as she sipped, eyeing Scully. Scully took a small sip and stepped away, pretending to admire the home.

 

“This is a beautiful house.”

 

“I hope you don’t want a tour,” Stella said. “I can’t think of anything more insufferable.”

 

Scully glanced back. “No, no. I guess it’s just what one says.” She laughed quietly at herself and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry. I’m not quite myself today.”

 

“Who are you today?”

 

“It would make more sense to ask when am I, maybe,” Scully mused.

 

Stella’s eyes slightly narrowed with curiosity. It was an odd thing to say. Scully seemed to be going through some personal quandary. Stella could see past the brave front, but didn’t push her into talking about it.

 

Scully felt uncomfortable in the silence, so she knocked back her drink, draining it in one gulp. She touched her fingertips to her wet lips, and her eyes went distant for a moment. “Do you mind?” she said, snapping back to the present, and waving her hand at the bar. “Can I make myself another?”

 

Stella nodded and then slid onto one of the bar stools, facing Scully, whose back was to her as she fixed her drink. She was not quite sure what to make of Scully’s behavior. Stella watched as Scully downed the second glass, and poured a third. Scully’s shoulders rose as she breathed in deeply, and exhaled. She finally turned back towards Stella, her lips pressed together in a self-conscious grin.

 

She stepped to Stella, invading her personal space this time. “I’m glad you called. I-- I’m just really happy to see you.” Her eyes didn’t rise to meet Stella’s until the end of her comment.

 

The whiskey helped to slow everything. She looked at Stella, and saw her, really saw her for the first time since she had arrived. The cool waves of blonde tresses that framed her face, her pale pink lips that hid a confused, but kind smile. There was a very slight discoloration along the left side of her face. It looked like yellow bruising concealed with light makeup. A healing cut criss-crossed her eyebrow. Scully’s eyes lingered there. She set her drink down on the counter and softly touched her fingers to Stella’s brow. Stella slightly stiffened under her touch. Uncharacteristically, anxiety flashed in her eyes, but she calmed shortly after as Scully caressed her cheekbone with feather-light strokes. Their eyes met. Violet-blue orbs honing in on each other, silently pleading the other to ignore the damage they had both incurred—Stella’s visible marks and Scully’s internal ones. Scully’s hand drifted from her cheek and curled behind her neck, drawing Stella to her. They pressed their lips together, first lightly, then more firmly. Stella parted her legs so Scully could step in closer, which she did, instinctively. They opened their mouths, tongues spilling into each other’s. Scully leaned in further, deepening the kiss even more. Stella, usually so in control in these circumstances, surrendered to Scully. She sighed against her lips, and her body melted into Scully’s. Scully released her neck, and ran her hands down Stella’s shoulders and arms, and then to her waist. She rubbed her thumbs against the soft fabric of Stella’s sweater, her movements more solid as the intensity of the kiss progressed. Scully pressed against her bruised rib, and Stella winced. The sharp shot of pain cleared her head for a brief moment and she pulled back.

 

“Scully.”

 

Scully looked at her, puzzled and out of breath. “What?” she asked, somewhat impatiently.

 

“What about Mulder?”

 

Scully was instantly irritated at the mention of his name. “What about him?”

 

“Are you still together?”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

Stella straightened up in her seat. “Why wouldn’t it matter?”

 

“I didn’t think you would care about that,” Scully said.

 

“About what? Fidelity?” Stella trained her eyes on Scully.

 

Scully saw something behind her stoic gaze. She looked wounded. Scully’s lips parted as if she were going to say something, but nothing came out as she realized she had insulted Stella.

 

“That-- that was rude. I’m sorry,” Scully stammered. “Mulder and I, we, we’re in, uh, a bad place right now. We’ve been, I don’t know, growing apart? I don’t know if that’s the right way to define it. It just feels ...toxic between us. So, I’ve pulled back, and actually I have no idea where we stand right now, what we are to each other.” She groaned internally. She had just unloaded on Stella like she would a therapist. And right after having her tongue down her throat. If she wanted to make any of this less awkward, she was doing a terrible job of it.

 

“And you’re using this,” Stella said, motioning between them, “to help you figure that out? You’re smarter than that.”

 

Now it was Scully’s turn to take offense. “What does that mean?”

 

“Surely you can see through the lies you’re telling yourself.”

 

Scully let out an exasperated sigh. “Why does everyone think they know what is best for me? That they know what I’m thinking better than I do?” She paused and measured a deep breath, her annoyance abating. She continued more calmly, “Or why do I gravitate towards people like that?” Scully fell silent, but Stella could tell inside she was screaming.

 

After warring within herself, Scully verbalized some of her thoughts. “Am I really that weak? Have I always been? Going from one controlling lover to the next, seeking their approval, and then running away when it got too real.” She huffed out a self-deprecating, bitter laugh. “God, what a fucking joke I am.” Scully shrugged frustratingly. “I projected my own infidelity onto you. I am the one that cheats. I am the one that breaks up families.”

 

Stella’s brow furrowed in confusion. Scully looked up and realized she was having an argument with herself, and Stella was lost.

 

She attempted to explain. “I ran into an old, um, boyfriend today. Well, he was a professor I had had an affair with during my residency. I left him. I didn’t want to destroy a family, but I--” Scully’s chin quivered and her eyes welled up. “I found out today that I still did. I left behind a painful mess for them to deal with, and just, just went on my merry way.”

 

It was becoming clear to Stella what was going on. This “old boyfriend” obviously had a hold on Scully, and he knew it and used it to manipulate her—then and now.

 

“The guilt is on him. Not you.” Stella said. “You share some responsibility, of course, but you did something about it. You ended it. He’s the weak one. He relied on you to do the right thing, and then blamed you for doing it.”

 

Scully pondered that and dabbed at the corners of her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. She walked away from Stella into the adjoining living room and sat on the sofa, burying her head in her hands.

 

Stella brought both their drinks, and sat next to Scully.

 

“I was being unnecessarily hard on you earlier,” she said, handing her the glass. Scully took it and looked at her. Her eyes were big and wet, and Stella felt a pang in her chest. She brushed a strand of Scully’s hair back. “Really I was doing anything I could to keep from tearing your clothes off,” she said with a smirk.

 

Scully’s eyes grew wide for a beat before understanding that Stella had said it for the purpose of levity. She chuckled. “Not if I had gotten to yours first,” she said, hiding her flirtatious smile behind her glass before taking a sip.

 

They drank in silence. Scully went from amused to disappointed during that silence.

 

“So, we aren’t… uh, we can’t..?” Scully murmured, swallowing the rest of her question.

 

“Fuck?” said Stella, pointedly.

 

Hearing that word come out of her mouth was incredibly arousing, and again Scully was rendered speechless.

 

“That’s up to you, Scully.”

Chapter Text

Mulder’s plane landed at Heathrow in the early morning hours of a gray day in London. He was dead tired, having not slept a wink. He could not stop worrying about Scully and himself, and what the hell was going on between them. Taking this trip alone was a huge waste of time that he only followed through with out of stubbornness.

 

He made his way to the rental car booth to pick up his vehicle. His plan was to drop his bag off at the motel and then make the drive to the site; a farm in Salisbury. ‘Motel’ was too generous a word—it was more like a glorified hostel. He hadn’t made Scully stay there when they had visited. It truly was a dump. The place they stayed at instead was a couple steps up, but then he surprised her with their final night at the Hilton. It had felt good to spoil her. She had been shocked, and she showed her appreciation in a way that made his dick hard if he recalled the memory of it for too long.

 

This thought brought up other memories from that trip—all x-rated ones. He remembered that he wanted to try and see if he could meet with Stella. He would stop by the Met once he got back from Salisbury.

 

What Mulder didn’t know was that Stella was not in London, or Belfast. She was back in DC with Scully straddling her lap at the very moment he made these plans.

 

***

 

Scully considered her dexterity after three stiff drinks a win. She was able to maintain the gentle grind of her hips while ravaging Stella’s mouth with her own. Their movements were slow and sensual although what they were both feeling inside was frenzied. Scully was about to burst from the exquisite, but borderline torturous, pleasure of being in Stella’s arms.

 

Scully had weighed her decision when Stella had told her it was up to her. A flood of messy thoughts clouded her brain, and had gone something like this: I’ve cheated before. Look where that got me. This isn’t really the same though. Is it cheating? Yes, it’s cheating. I haven’t had sex in weeks. I need this. How would I feel if Mulder did this? Shitty, right? This is shitty. Well, if I’m honest about it when he gets back maybe it will help push us in some sort of direction. Fuck. I really need something inside me besides my vibrator. Jesus, it’s hot in here. I have to get laid. Sorry, Mulder.

 

Decision made—poor or not, she still wasn’t totally sure—Scully had stood in front of Stella and removed her white top, revealing a pale pink satin bra. Stella admired the display, happy with Scully’s choice on the matter. She hadn’t needed to make sure Scully was okay with what she decided. She was a big girl and already had too many father figures in her life. Stella didn’t want to be another one. Stella liked to take control in sexual situations, but this was different. She had made it clear that the decision had to be Scully’s because of the Mulder factor, and once Scully made up her mind she would have to come to her. And she had.


After her shirt, Scully had kicked her shoes off and undid the clasp and zipper on her pants. She slowly and seductively wiggled them past her hips, and they slipped down and pooled at her feet. Scully glanced down at herself, forgetting what underwear she was wearing today, and flushed with embarrassment when she saw the simple white cotton briefs. It was no matching lacy ensemble that she was sure Stella had on. She looked at Stella sheepishly and shrugged. Stella couldn’t stop the grin that formed on her lips that came from Scully’s gesture. It was as if Scully had said, oh well, it is what it is , and what it was was fucking adorable.


Scully’s heart leapt in her chest when she saw Stella smile. She didn’t think it was possible to make this formidable woman smile that way, unexpected and genuine. It gave Scully a boost of confidence and the ambition to make her do it again. She wanted to make Stella smile, squirm, scream, and come. And if she kept up the good work, she might get all of that tonight.

 

Stella had set her drink down on the side table as she received Scully in her lap. She ran her hands up Scully’s thighs, teasing the elastic of her panties with her fingernails. Scully rested her hands atop Stella’s shoulders and started her slow grind against her. She arched her back as Stella brought her hands to her breasts. The satin was cool and silky under her palms. As she rubbed she felt Scully’s nipples harden beneath her touch. She snaked her hands around her back and pulled her close, her tongue lapping out to meet Scully’s sternum. She deftly undid Scully’s bra and slid it off of her. Scully moaned as Stella’s mouth closed around an erect nipple. She circled her tongue around and then softly bit as she pulled away to do the same to the other.

 

Stella dragged her tongue up Scully’s chest to her neck. Scully bent her head down to capture Stella’s lips. Their tongues teased each other playfully between wet kisses. Stella detected the spiciness of the whiskey on Scully and, as a surprise to her, tobacco. The fusion of tastes was illicit and rousing.

 

Scully reached down to the hem of Stella’s sweater and lightly tugged. Stella shifted and lifted her arms up so Scully could pull it over her head. So far Scully was half right; it was a black lace number that encased those perfect tits that Scully had had dreams about. Scully leaned into her to continue their kissing and wrapped her arms around Stella so she could unclasp her bra. Scully blindly removed Stella’s bra and broke the kiss, abruptly, to look at Stella’s breasts. She cupped them, one in each hand, and thumbed her nipples. Stella watched Scully looking at her body, eyes full of awe.

 

“I’ve thought about this so many times since…” she trailed off. “God, your tits are fucking phenomenal.”

 

Scully was mesmerized by her hands caressing those phenomenal tits that she missed another one of Stella’s rare spontaneous smiles. The childlike wonder on Scully’s face was so endearing that it made Stella stop breathing for a moment. This gut reaction, that was separate from the sensations of lust, gave Stella pause. Ever since the Spector attack, she had sensed that her emotions were a little more raw. Not that she had gone soft—she hated that expression—but that her feelings were very close to the surface. This was something that she wanted to keep in check; not deny the feelings, but have a handle on them, at least.   

 

Stella, spurred by these strong affectionate feelings, took Scully’s chin in her fingers, causing them to make eye contact. She brushed her thumb across Scully’s bottom lip and they leaned into each other, their lips touching, innocently and tenderly.

Barely parting, Scully whispered, “Touch me,” against Stella’s mouth. Stella, never one to take orders, complied immediately. She wedged her hand between them and wriggled her fingers inside Scully’s underwear. Scully’s sex was slick and wet. She teased her outer folds and then dipped her middle finger just inside. She was tight and swollen, and Stella felt her own cunt start to throb. She worked Scully’s opening with nimble fingers while watching her. Scully moved her pelvis rhythmically against her hand, trying to make contact between the heel of Stella’s hand and her clit. Her eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted, expelling breathy, shallow pants.

 

The position started to become uncomfortable on Stella’s wrist, so she eased Scully down onto the sofa next to her, her fingers never stopping. She positioned herself above her, resting her elbow beside Scully’s face so she could stroke her hair. With more liberty in her movements, Stella pushed three fingers inside Scully. She drew them back out and then back in at a slow and steady pace.

 

“Oh my God,” Scully breathed out, quietly.

 

There was something about being on a couch with her hand stuck down a pair of white virginal panties that was a turn on to Stella. It reminded her of the forbidden makeout sessions of her youth. Her secondary school classmate with the blonde plaited hair, and the neighbor boy that she let finger her under her uniform while her aunt made dinner in the kitchen. Scully was too far gone to recall any of her own youthful indiscretions—the sensation of Stella’s fingers pumping in and out of her was swiftly building towards a climax.

 

Stella curled her fingers on the next thrust, hitting her G-spot with the precision of an Olympic archer nailing a bullseye. Scully’s breath hitched in her throat, and she saw stars. All thoughts of Mulder, and Daniel, and unfaithfulness fell away. Stella repeated the move until Scully’s mouth fell open in a silent shriek. She pressed her thumb to Scully’s clit as she continued to apply pressure to the sensitive, spongy tissue inside her. Scully came undone underneath her.

 

“Yes! Yes! Fuu-huuh-uuck.”

 

Stella slowly pulled her fingers out of Scully and caressed her wet pussy as Scully trembled from the orgasm. Stella resisted the urge to tell her, “Good girl,” since Scully was struggling with authority figures, but that’s what she thought as she soothed her sex with her hand.

 

Scully put her hand to her chest. “Wow. My heart is racing.” She took a deep breath which developed into a fit of laughter on the exhale. “I mean,” she said between giggles, “holy shit! That was good.”

 

Stella watched her, bemusedly, her palm still rubbing against Scully.

 

“It’s been so long since I’ve had that kind of orgasm—the kind that makes me laugh uncontrollably. I love those,” she said, smiling.

 

Stella hummed in agreement, although she realized she'd never experienced an orgasm like which Scully had described.

 

Scully pulled Stella down and kissed her deeply. “I want to taste you, Stella,” Scully told her, in all seriousness now. “I need to.”

 

She stood, wordlessly, and removed her pants. She was, indeed, wearing a matching set of lingerie as Scully had guessed. She hooked her thumbs into her lace bikini-cut panties and pushed them down her legs. Scully watched, hungrily.

 

Scully grabbed the throw blanket from the arm of the couch and laid it down on the cushion. She may be drunk on whiskey and sex, but she could still be considerate of someone else’s furniture. She was going to eat out Stella like there was no tomorrow, and she didn’t want to worry about unseemly wet spots in the middle of it.

 

Again, Stella felt a twinge in her chest that had nothing to with the aforementioned cunnilingus. These small gestures that Scully made were charming, and Stella felt helpless against her allure. She was, at once, appreciative of and frightened by the feeling.

She situated herself on the blanket and scooted her ass towards the edge of the sofa. Scully got down on all fours and crawled in between Stella’s legs. She lifted her left leg by cupping her defined calf and planted soft kisses on the inside of her thigh. As she got closer to her center, she could smell Stella’s arousal; it was pleasant, like sun-warmed grass and faintly sweet.

 

Her kisses became wet as she introduced her tongue to the soft skin. She ran her hands up Stella’s legs, amazed by their smoothness. She then hooked her arms under her butt and around so her hands could grip her hips. Her oral caresses got closer to her folds, licking the crease between her vagina and inner thigh, but purposefully avoiding her center. Scully’s fingertips grazed at the skin on Stella’s upper thighs, and she felt several ridges of what felt like scar tissue. Stella, hoping the move would go unnoticed, positioned Scully’s hands to rest on her stomach just above her pubic bone. Scully had noticed, but made no indication as such.

 

Scully placed the lightest open-mouthed kiss on Stella. The barely-there touch affected her more than she thought possible. She usually liked firm and deliberate advances, but Scully’s slow, delicate meandering was pleasing. Scully did this a few more times all along her opening, before lapping her tongue out to taste her.

 

Stella hadn’t taken her eyes off Scully since she had started going down on her. As Scully licked her cunt—top to bottom and back, clit to perineum—she ran her fingers through the soft, copper hair. Scully moaned into her pussy as she felt the pressure of Stella’s fingertips on her scalp. She tilted her head to the side and inserted her stiffened tongue into Stella as far as she was able.   

 

Scully felt like she could come just from the feel of Stella’s velvety walls around her tongue. She felt new wetness between her own legs. Scully scooted one hand down towards Stella’s clit and pressed circles into her. She used her other hand to do the same to herself. With both their clits at her fingertips and her tongue penetrating Stella, a vibrating hum started to pulse through her, like her body had become a tuning fork.

 

Stella’s vaginal walls clenched around Scully as she watched her hand go to her cunt to touch herself inside her underwear—her orgasm beginning as a tingle in her solar plexus. She rotated her hips to intensify the friction, and tangled her fingers in Scully’s hair, fucking her mouth with fervor now. Scully, energized by Stella’s zeal, increased her movements on their clits, rubbing and flicking their swollen bundles of nerves as both their bodies hurtled towards a mutual climax.

 

Scully rested her cheek against Stella’s inner thigh, breathing heavily. One arm was still looped around Stella, and she was relying on her to keep her upright—all her other limbs were shaky.

 

“Get up here,” Stella said. She disliked anything that resembled cuddling after sex, but right now she wanted Scully nestled beside her more than anything. Scully climbed up to the sofa and curled herself into Stella’s outstretched arm. She lazily strummed her fingers along Scully’s bicep.

 

Scully felt safe in Stella’s arms, not quite similar to how she felt in Daniel’s earlier, but not totally different either. Was she just substituting one father figure for another? Her feelings towards Stella mirrored her first loving feelings with Mulder, which had been born of respect. Sure, she rebelled from time to time when he got too controlling, but that wasn’t one of the foundations of their relationship like it had been with Daniel. Although, Mulder was too frequent an offender of it, thus their current predicament.

 

Stella was easier to talk to than Mulder. She could be more open and honest with her, for some reason. Maybe it was because she was a woman. Scully always thought it was better to put her energy into competing with men since they made her field far more difficult as it was. In retrospect, she couldn’t believe how quickly she revealed her emotions to Stella; confessions and admissions tumbling out of her with no filter. She could never say those things to Mulder. Or could she and she just didn’t want to; or was she too scared?

 

She burrowed closer and squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting the messy details of her life to invade her thoughts so soon after the freeing ecstasy of being with Stella.

 

Chapter Text

Scully awoke with a jolt. She had had fitful dreams all night, and she opened her eyes to an unfamiliar place which caused her heart to beat fast. She was only able to calm herself once she saw Stella sleeping peacefully beside her. The morning light bathed her in a gossamery glow. She looked ethereal, delicate yet powerful—a contradiction Scully couldn’t believe existed. Yet here she was in all her glory, angelic and luminous, nestled amongst expensive bedding, something tangible that she could touch—that she had touched and that had touched her in return.

 

Scully reached toward her under the sheets and lightly stroked Stella’s stomach. Her skin was warm and lush under her hand. She marvelled at Stella’s softness. With Mulder everything was hard. Not just his body, but every situation; every conversation was difficult. Nothing was ever easy. Scully moved her hand to brush the underside of Stella’s breasts, hoping to gently rouse her from sleep. She whispered through the touch of her fingertips and Stella responded with a sleepy hum. Scully’s caresses became deeper as Stella became more aware. She captured Scully’s wandering hand by the wrist and pulled her close. This, right now, with Stella was easy. The woman that tenderly and playfully embraced her on a bright Sunday morning was in sharp relief to the complicated man that she had followed into the dark.

 

Stella wrapped her legs around Scully’s, and their naked bodies pressed together. Scully tucked herself under Stella’s chin and breathed in.

 

“You always smell so good,” she said.

 

“It’s called perfume, dear.”

 

Scully huffed at her teasing. “You must think I’m so primitive.”

 

Stella chuckled.

 

Scully tightened her thigh’s grip on Stella’s waist and swiftly turned them both so she was straddling her. “I can show you primitive, if you want,” she said, a flirtatious smirk playing on her lips.

 

“Oh?” Stella coyly replied, placing her hands at Scully’s hips.

 

Scully leaned down and nudged Stella’s chin up with her cheek. She licked along her jawline and down her neck, pausing to suck on the delicate skin at her carotid artery.

 

“You make me downright feral, Stella Gibson,” whispered Scully as she continued her wet trail of oral attention to her collarbone and chest. She palmed Stella’s breasts once her mouth reached the space between them. Stella arched into her. Scully pushed her tits together, squeezing and groping. She worried one pert nipple between her lips, flicking with her tongue. Stella let out a contented sigh, which made Scully’s ministrations more voracious. She took the voluptous peak fully into her mouth and sucked. She was becoming sloppy and ravenous as if the oils of Stella’s skin contained an intoxicating drug.

 

The effect she had on her was a lot like being high or drunk. Inhibitions were lowered, caution was easily thrown to the wind. Even as her conscience tried to force her to think of Mulder and of consequences, her body and the rest of her mind were drawn to Stella. Rationalizations took charge and bullied her moral sense into submission. The devil had effectively pushed the angel off her shoulder. Scully was cognizant of the conflicting feelings, but the hot heat of Stella underneath her made sinning all the more sweet. If, for example, fingerfucking Stella was wrong, then she would be really, really wrong—thoroughly and intensely wrong. So wrong that Stella would scream out her name in exclamation of her wrongness.

 

Scully repositioned herself so she could have her knees on either side of Stella's left thigh and could freely grind against her. She put her hand to Stella's center and smiled when she found that she was already wet. She spread her arousal around and rubbed her, avoiding her clit. Two fingers slipped in easily. She pumped in and out, in and out, while lowering her head to indulge herself, again, on Stella’s magnificent tits. Moist sounds of Scully’s hand on Stella’s sex and her mouth on her breasts mingled with Stella’s soft moans that were becoming steady. Scully pulled out and massaged around Stella’s clit. Stella rolled her pelvis to deepen Scully’s touch, and Scully moved her fingers away at the sign of her need. She brought her fingers together and pushed the four of them into Stella. She felt Stella tense and relax to accommodate her. Stella resumed the rocking of her hips to meet the thrusts of Scully’s hand. Once they achieved a rhythm, Scully pressed her thumb to her clit. Stella gasped.

 

Stella grabbed at her own breast, the one Scully wasn’t hovering over; the tender mound was firmer to the touch with her impending orgasm. The build began in her abdomen and rose in her chest like the mercury in a thermometer. Scully could see Stella getting close, so she sat up tall on her knees and rubbed her own pulsing cunt. Stella, although caught in a pre-climax haze, registered Scully’s change in position. She gazed down the length of her own body to see Scully fingering them both. Stella came hard, gripping Scully’s fingers inside her. Her perfect mouth formed a perfect ‘O,’ followed by Scully’s name on a blissful exhale. Scully came shortly after—the sight of Stella coming pushing her over the edge.

 

Scully watched Stella pad around the kitchen in her bare feet, the steam of her coffee not at all disguising her admiring gaze. What did she expect when she donned just a pair of nude underwear and a thin white tank top? Scully had dressed in her clothes from the night before, not expecting Stella to want much of a morning after. She had awkwardly declined the robe Stella had offered her, the suggestion taking her by surprise.

 

“I have a massage in the city this afternoon. Can we meet up later?”

 

“Yes. I would like that,” Scully answered, trying to hide her eagerness.

 

“Sure you don’t want anything to eat?” Stella asked, not used to stumbling over accommodations for her sweet night companions. As much as she tried to tell herself that was all it was, the falsehood of that title for Dana Scully rang loud in her mind.

 

“No thanks. The coffee is fine. I should get going though.”

 

Stella leaned against the island counter across from Scully and nodded before taking a sip from her cup. Scully noticed a shift in Stella. The commanding presence from last night had transformed to this soft and gentle creature that Scully wanted to curl up next to and forget the world around them. As intimidated of her as she still was, there was a nurturing feeling that she felt flowed both ways. She wanted to take care of Stella, and the sense that Stella wanted to take care of her in return was strong. A vulnerability that was not evident during their rendezvous in London was partially exposed last night; and this morning it was unmistakable.

 

The investigator within her tried to connect the dots. Moving her hands away from the scars on her thighs last night, the post-coital shyness that laced her questions this morning, the fact that she covered up the fading bruise on her face with makeup before making them coffee. Stella’s nod seemed sad, even, like she was disappointed at the mention of her departure, but that didn’t seem possible, could it?


She knew that she didn’t want to leave Stella, but the situation with Daniel weighed heavily on her mind. She craved closure from that part of her life so she could focus on the puzzle of how Stella fit into her current life—a life that included (well, revolved around) Mulder. God, there was so much to sort out with him , she thought. Compartmentalizing was necessary for the time being so she wouldn’t buckle under the stress and the uncertainty.

 

After Scully left, Stella fixed herself some yogurt. She was on a soft diet for another couple of days due to her minor zygoma fracture. She couldn’t wait to sink her teeth into a steak or burger, or return the favor of eating out Scully. Restricting her meals like this was a very present and persistent reminder of Paul Spector and the havoc he had wreaked. She was surprised that Scully hadn’t asked her about the case yet or mentioned anything about her and Mulder being in her dream journal. The encounter with her manipulative ex seemed to be more troublesome than Scully had divulged, not to mention the issues she was having with Mulder that were bound to be complicated even further by the things they had done the night before and this morning. Stella didn’t envy Scully’s predicament, but she welcomed the distraction it posed for Scully. Maybe her own mental unsteadiness would go unnoticed.        

 

***

 

Mulder reentered London city limits with a ridiculous tourist hat affixed to his head. As if this trip couldn’t get any more aggravating, the event wasn’t even happening now. Dejected, he had toured Stonehenge, but the mysterious rocks did nothing to settle his concerns about how things were left between him and Scully. He actually wished she was here to gloat about his failure. What he would give to see her famous eye-roll right now.  

 

Flashing his badge (and stashing his dumb hat in the car) got him access to the offices where they had first met Stella. The Met was somewhat quiet for a Sunday evening, and he had to hunt down someone to inquire about her. An officer, slouched at his desk in front of a computer, looked up at him with bored annoyance.

 

“Is DSI Gibson in?” Mulder asked.

 

“Ah, no, she’s not,” he replied. “She’s actually in your neck of the woods, mate.”

“How’s that?”

 

“On holiday in the States.” He sniffed and shifted his bulky body in the chair. “DC, I think.”

 

A man in a suit walked up behind Mulder. “You FBI?”

 

Mulder turned and got out his badge again. “Yeah, Special Agent Mulder.”

 

Mulder thought he saw the man smirk, but he didn’t care about why. He just wanted to know if Stella really was in DC.

 

“We were in contact about the Belfast case. I thought while I was here I’d follow up on it,” Mulder said, casually.

 

“Yeah, I seem to remember your involvement in that case, Mr. Mulder.” The smirk on his face was no longer indiscernible.

 

He heard the officer behind him quietly snicker. Mulder put his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes at the man. These assholes had read the confiscated diary, not as concerned law enforcement officials, but as entertainment at the expense of their female colleague. The anger started to build in his chest at the thought of this disgusting boy’s club mentality.

 

“Figured that’s why she went to DC. To fuck her way ‘round the FBI for a bit. But, then what are you doing here, eh? Missing out on the fun?” said the man, smugly, as his co-worker continued tittering, spinelessly, from his seat.

 

Mulder didn’t even realize that he had struck the man until he felt his knuckles tingle in pain seconds afterward. The man wobbled back and caught himself on the partition of the cubicle behind him. Mulder didn’t wait for a response; he turned on his heel and left.

 

***

 

Scully’s eyes were transfixed on the intermittent drops of water that formed on the spigot of her bathtub. The day had given her a lot to process, so she decided to contemplate the events while relaxing in the bath. She was nowhere nearer to solving anything, but the warm water and the quiet provided some comfort.

 

She recapped what had transpired in the last eight hours. She had woken up in a stranger’s bed—not even Stella’s bed—a stranger’s bed with Stella in it. She and Stella had fucked in that bed after a night of fucking, and then had an awkward exchange over coffee where she left feeling more confused than before.

 

She had apologized to Colleen who proceeded to give her advice that had essentially rocked her world. She said things like “everything happens for a reason.” This whole situation of Mulder going to London and Stella being here did seem like some fucked up, but divine plan. What did it mean? The spiritual vision she had had later (or, at least, she had thought she had a vision) did nothing to answer her questions. It had prompted her to try an alternative treatment with Daniel, though, along with Colleen’s words echoing in her mind. “You may be more open to things than you think. It’s a matter of what you do with it,” she had said. Yes, it matters a great deal. But what am I supposed to do with Mulder and with Stella? If I make a wrong choice what path might my life take , pondered Scully. And if there is no right or wrong choice, will there still be regrets waiting for me at the end of the path, like there was with this reunion with Daniel? She rubbed her face with her wet hands. This enlightenment shit is hard, she thought. Give me data and facts over ambiguous metaphysics any day. Maybe that’s my problem. I’ve got my head so far up logic’s ass I can’t see the big picture. That vision may very well have been a sign telling me to stop and examine this path, to see the reasons why all things happen. I can start with examining why I cleaned my entire apartment, top to bottom, at the mere possibility of Stella coming over.

 

Scully got out of the tub, shaking her head at herself.

 

***

 

Mulder dialed Scully’s number, but his finger hesitated over the ‘send’ button. His jealous paranoia was acting up, big time. Scully’s attitude before he had left had reminded him of how she was before she ended up fucking Jerse. And now with the news of Stella being in DC, his imagination ran rampant. He couldn’t really ask Scully about it without giving away that he suspected something. Mulder closed his phone without making the call. He had a feeling that calling just to say he was coming back earlier than expected would come off as micromanaging her time, and she had made it pretty clear that she wanted some time to herself. Or time away from me is more like it, he thought, sadly. I can’t fucking believe I did this again. Driving her away, possibly into the arms of someone else. Bill Jr. was right about me. I am one sorry son of a bitch.

 

***

 

The waiter laid a dessert menu on the table between them. Stella raised her eyebrows at Scully.

 

“I have ice cream at home, if…” she said, shrugging casually.

 

“If?” Stella asked, innocently.

 

“If you wanted dessert, I was just saying that--” Scully stumbled on her words.

 

“Are you trying to get me to come home with you?”

 

Scully smiled. “Maybe.”

 

Stella let out a small laugh.

 

“I was trying to avoid the cliche so you wouldn’t tease me,” said Scully, lightheartedly.

 

They had finished off almost two bottles of wine, and the alcohol flowed through their bloodstreams, warm and tingling. Their dinner conversation had come easily—any of their jitters from the morning had promptly fallen away. Scully told her about Daniel’s condition and her attempt at alternative treatment. She left out the part about her having a vision in a Buddhist temple, though. She wasn’t quite ready to decipher the meaning of it yet.

 

Stella waved down their waiter. “Just the check, please,” she said, her eyes on Scully.

 

Scully put her hands in her coat pockets after the third time she had to stop herself from reaching for Stella’s hand as they walked back to Scully’s apartment. Scully was not a fan of public displays of affection, and she would bet money that Stella wasn’t either, but she found it was a natural feeling, reflexive even. She rarely felt that inclination with Mulder. In fact, she tensed up any time she sensed that he would initiate something in public besides, of course, his signature hand-at-the-small-of-her-back move. That was something she craved. It gave her such a secure feeling, and, sometimes, it would stir other feelings inside her—inappropriate for public consumption feelings.

 

So when she felt Stella’s hand press against her lower back as she unlocked her apartment door, she almost jumped. Scully put her keys in a dish by the door, and they both removed their coats.

 

“Do you actually want ice cream or?” Scully said, blushing.

 

“Yeah, sure,” she replied. “Washroom?”

 

“Down the hall on the left.”

 

Scully pulled the pint out of the freezer and removed the lid. She leaned down and looked at her reflection in the toaster, smoothing her hair and checking her teeth. Hearing Stella coming down the hall, she opened the drawer to get spoons.

 

“What flavor?” asked Stella, stepping into the kitchen.

 

“Uh, vanilla?” answered Scully, suddenly angry with herself for her boring taste in ice cream. She reached up to retrieve bowls from the cupboard, but Stella, now standing close behind, put her hand on Scully’s, stilling her. She slid her hand down her arm to her waist and spun Scully around, pressing into her against the counter. She fixed her eyes on Scully, pleased that she had caught her off guard. She found her own lust mirrored in Scully’s expression.

 

Stella glanced down at the ice cream carton on the counter. She dipped her finger inside and dug out a dollop of the frozen confection. Scully’s mouth fell open as Stella brought it to her lips. She kept her mouth open as the creamy glob slid off Stella’s finger and melted on her tongue, then she closed her lips around the slender digit and sucked. Stella reclaimed her hand and unbuttoned Scully’s shirt. She pushed it off her shoulders and let it slide to the floor. Stella made her hips and belly flush against Scully and reached around her back to unhook her bra. Scully felt hypnotized under the spell of Stella’s seductive movements. Stella scooped her finger through the ice cream again. She splayed her clean hand on Scully’s chest and pushed her back. Scully sucked in a breath with a hiss as the cold, ice cream-coated finger made contact on her throat. Stella ran her finger slowly down her chest, leaving a sticky sweet trail. She bent down and licked at the cream on her throat and followed the sugary line with her tongue. Her finger found Scully’s nipple and she swirled the remaining ice cream around it as her mouth made its way there. Stella licked her clean, tasting the smooth vanilla and the salt of Scully’s skin. Scully’s head fell back against the cabinet with a slight thud.

 

“Oh my God,” she moaned.

 

Stella stepped back, leaving Scully leaning, topless and breathless, on the counter. She grabbed her hand and pulled her with as she backed up towards the kitchen table. Scully was easily led at this point. She doubted she could move on her own accord. Stella turned them so they were both facing the table. She pushed her pelvis into Scully’s backside until Scully’s hips met the table’s edge. With one hand wrapped around and cupping her bare tit and the other at the back of her neck, Stella eased her down and bent her over the table. She took the shell of Scully’s ear between her teeth and flicked the lobe with her tongue.

 

Scully placed her palms in front of her and rested her cheek on the table. She was panting with anticipation, not knowing what Stella had in mind. She felt Stella’s tongue begin to trace the vertebrae down her spine. Once she reached the waistband of her slacks, she felt Stella make quick work of the button and zipper and gasped as the cool air hit her ass. Stella had pulled down her pants and underwear in one aggressive tug. She caressed her, warming her with her roaming hands, kneading the pale flesh. Stella leaned back over her, kissing her between her shoulder blades. She snuck one hand between Scully’s thighs and slipped a finger inside her. She was wet and Stella toyed with her slick entrance until she had Scully squirming underneath her.

 

She pulled out of Scully and brought her fingers, covered in Scully’s silky nectar, to her lips. Scully watched in her periphery as Stella sucked her fingers into her mouth. Her clit ached at the sight.

 

“Much better than vanilla,” Stella whispered against her neck.

 

Scully groaned in response.

 

Stella ran her damp fingers over Scully’s ass down to her entrance. She pushed three fingers in and began to pump in and out of her. Scully cried out, not expecting the sudden invasion or the frantic pace. She loved getting fucked from behind, and this was an entirely new way to experience it. The friction against her walls was amazing. She felt Stella’s other hand tangle in her hair and then a sharp tug.

 

“Uuungh!”

 

The varying stimulation on different parts of her body was like the layering sounds of an orchestra building to a crescendo. Her breasts peaked with taut nipples chafed against the table, the delicious pressure at her scalp where Stella pulled at her hair, her fingers penetrating her over and over—it was all becoming too much.

 

“Make me come, aaah, please,” Scully heaved out.

 

Stella withdrew her hand and rubbed her clit with her wet, slippery fingers.

 

“Oh God!”

 

She saw Scully reach out and grab the other edge of the table with both hands, knuckles going white.

 

“Yes! Yes! Yes!”

 

Scully’s swollen clit throbbed under Stella’s fingers as she came. Stella slowed her movements and stroked Scully’s back, gingerly, letting her recover.

 

“Wow,” Scully sighed into the tabletop.

 

Stella eased off Scully to let her recompose herself. She put the lid on the melting tub of ice cream and put it back in the freezer. A drop of it landed on her thumb and she sucked it off as she turned around. Scully was leaning against the table, her pants and underwear around her ankles, shoes still on, hair tousled. She looked like she had just been thoroughly fucked, which was an accurate description because she just had been.

 

They looked at each other for a beat. Scully was still in somewhat of a daze. Stella broke the gaze, becoming self-conscious with the feeling of not knowing what to do next. She was the guest in this house, but she had just acted like she was the master of it. This was why she always took lovers in neutral places or, on the rare occasion, in her home. She had told herself to not be too dominating over Scully considering her current situation, and she had been good up until just now. It somehow felt like she had just taken advantage. Scully had confided in her that this need to please controlling figures in her life was a painful self-realization, and Stella didn’t want to add to that. So what had she ended up doing? She had bent her over a table and roughly fingerfucked her from behind.

 

Scully had moved to the dining chair and was removing her shoes. She was watching Stella out of the corner of her eye and sensed in her a panic. Not sure what could have spooked her so quickly after making her come, she tried to rid herself of the confining clothing at her feet, so she could attend to Stella.

 

Stella was leaning against the counter, arms folded in front of her chest, looking down at her shoes. Once free, Scully went to her, fully naked, taking her face in her hands, and kissed her deeply. Stella uncrossed her arms and placed her hands at Scully’s sides. She returned the kiss, and opened her mouth to Scully’s probing tongue. Scully could faintly taste vanilla and herself. She nipped at Stella’s upper lip, and then kissed her along her jawbone.

 

“It’s not fair that I’m the only one without clothes on in my own house,” she whispered, before softly biting at Stella’s earlobe.

 

“I’m not a very good houseguest, am I?” Stella said, only half joking.

 

“Or I’m not a very good hostess,” Scully countered, gliding her tongue down Stella’s neck to her collarbone. She undid the buttons of Stella’s silk blouse and parted it, exposing an emerald green lace bra. She slowly placed soft pecks along the edge of the cups.

 

“I’d like to do everything I can--,” she said between kisses, “to make your stay here--,” she teased Stella’s nipple through the fabric with her teeth, “as pleasurable as possible.”

 

Relieved to see Scully gain command, she let Scully take her by the hand and lead her to the bedroom.

Chapter Text

Scully looked up to see her wrists bound to the headboard with strips of white silk. She pulled and twisted, but found that the binding was unyielding. Before fear could flood her mind, she felt a warmth between her legs, which, upon glancing down, she learned were also tied—spreading her wide open. Blonde hair pooled out on her thighs, and she saw the muscles contract on the svelte shoulders of the person that was presently eating her out. Must be Stella, Scully thought. But, I don’t remember getting tied up.

 

“I tied you up,” said a voice, reading her mind.

 

She inhaled sharply as Mulder suddenly appeared next to her. He began kissing her neck.

 

“It’s okay, though, Scully, you wanted me to.”

 

Scully, confused, nodded in response anyway.

 

A tongue’s contact on her clit made her writhe on the bed as much as she was able with her hands and feet restricted.

 

“Stella!” she cried out.

 

She peered down, but this time a head with short brown hair bobbed at her apex. A hand appeared on her chest and soothingly stroked the space over her heart.

 

“Shhh, shhh, it’s just Mulder.”

 

“Stella?” she asked, timidly, afraid to look at who was now lying next to her.

 

“Yes, dear. Calm now. Let us make you come.” She leaned down and sucked at the plump flesh at her breast.

 

Scully started to relax and enjoy the sensations.

 

“What in God’s name is going on here?” boomed a man’s voice.

 

Scully’s eyes shot open and immediately saw the source of the angry question. Daniel stood in the doorway of her bedroom. Mulder continued to lick her hot center and Stella’s suckling did not cease.

 

Scully panicked even as her climax swelled. Just as she reached the edge, she found herself back in the hospital. She was walking into Daniel’s room, but she saw herself in the bed instead.

 

Speak to me.

 

Scully sat up with a gasp. The phone was ringing. Disoriented, she got out of her bed and answered it. Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears she could barely hear Maggie tell her to come to the hospital.

 

Stella appeared in the doorway. She was wearing one of Scully’s satin nightshirts and her underwear. She didn’t say anything, but something about her demeanor made Scully feel like she had asked if everything was okay.  

 

“That was Maggie. I need to go,” Scully said, still rattled.

 

Stella nodded and went to her clothes on the floor at the foot of the bed.

 

“You’re welcome to stay,” added Scully.

 

“Thank you, but I’m going to head back.” She slipped her leather skirt over her hips and affixed the zipper.

 

“All right.” Scully was frozen in place. The panic induced from the dream, the alarming phone call, and her clumsy end to their date accumulated into a dense ball of nerves in her chest. As she stressed over her anxiety, Stella had gotten fully dressed and stood looking at her, calmly.

 

That fact dawned on Scully, and she tried to blink the fog in her mind away. “I should get dressed.”

 

“That’s a start,” Stella said, giving her a small smile.

 

Scully still didn’t move, so Stella did. She didn’t deal with awkward very well. Usually she was so in control, that the uneasy feelings always resided with her companion. She even took satisfaction from adding to their anxious state from time to time. Scully was not one of those people, nor was this one of those times. Scully was clearly distressed, but Stella’s own reservations and issues kept her from offering any comfort. She so rarely found herself feeling this way—wrapping up strong emotions in another person. The realization that she was doing this, and that it felt completely out of her control, unnerved her. They kept alternating between periods of ease and being comfortable with each other with these bouts of floundering discordance. She hated leaving Scully standing there with such uncertainty, but she also couldn’t get out of her apartment fast enough.    

 

***

 

Time seemed to slow. Scully took the momentary reprieve that came with the feeling. She felt lighter, having fixed one part of her three-part problem. Amends were made with Maggie and she closed the Daniel chapter of her life. Maybe they can both begin to heal, as well. She felt at peace leaving him behind this time. Before it had felt like running away, even if it was the right thing to do. He still didn’t understand her decision, but now she felt she could deal with that in a healthier manner, free of guilt. Besides, there was plenty of guilt in store for her. This she knew. And just like that, her moment of peace vanished.

 

As the familiar sense of dread settled in her bones, she saw the blonde woman with the ponytail. What was that, the third time she’d seen her? Must be an X-File, she thought as she jogged after her.  

 

***

 

“Maybe nothing happens for a reason,” she had said to Mulder. But, didn’t she feel exactly the opposite? She didn’t know what to believe anymore or what feelings she could trust. It felt as though she had had some sort of spiritual awakening, but her brain was still asleep and she didn’t know how to wake it up.

 

Putting into words the past couple of days with Daniel and dipping her toe into the waters of cosmic thinking came out in a confused and fragmentary story. She hadn’t consciously made the decision to not mention Stella, but she had left it out, all the same. Carrying the weight of her constant doubt and mistrust of her own feelings made her mentally and physically tired. She could fall asleep at the drop of a hat and often times Mulder droning on about something did make her eyelids heavy, but she had not meant to nod off, especially in his mid-sentence, and furthermore, while they were having a real discussion.

 

Scully woke up on his sofa under his scratchy Navajo blanket. She felt somewhat rested, but the anxiety was still burning in her chest, and it would remain that way until she told Mulder about Stella. She got up, full of purpose, and went looking for him.

 

He was lying on his bed reading one of her science journals. He had his glasses on and those see-through pale yellow pajama bottoms that he knew she loved. He could be a model out of a hunk of the month calendar made just for her.

 

“Hey.”

 

He looked up at her standing in the doorway. “Hey, sleepyhead.”

 

“How long did I sleep for?” she asked, crawling onto the bed next to him.

 

“Not long. About an hour.” He took his glasses off and set them on top of the journal on his nightstand. “Don’t worry, I didn’t take it personally that you fell asleep while I was talking,” he said, smiling easily at her. “You must’ve really needed it. You were out like a light. What, did you party hard while I was gone?” Mulder chuckled.

 

Scully’s insides tightened, and she laughed nervously along with him. “Um--”

 

She was about to say it—she really was—but he reached over and brushed a strand of her hair away from her face with such tenderness that she fell silent.

 

“I missed you, Scully,” he said, softly, keeping his hand at her face and stroking her cheek.

 

“You were only gone a couple of days, Mulder,” she retorted, bothered by the sound of her own sensible tone.

 

“I don’t mean just this weekend.”

She knew what he meant. Of course she did.

 

Before she could tell him that, he was kissing her. The familiar feel of his lips on hers felt natural, his tongue in her mouth felt like it was coming home. His hands read her like a well-worn book, filled with dog-eared pages and notes in the margins. Her understanding of good and bad became muddled. Everything he was doing and saying felt so right—she had been waiting for him to get to this place—but her silence, her secret, made it all wrong.

 

Her clothing became a pile on the floor along with his pants. Every touch from him sent both a warm reverberation to her center and alarm signals to her brain. A tear escaped out of the corner of her eye as she mourned the loss of her black and white life and took root in a confusing and expansive gray area.

 

He felt heavy on top of her, but not as heavy as the guilt that weighed on her conscience. She was between a rock and a hard place. The rock was her sin of omission and the hard place was the pleasure she got from feeling his erection prod her aching cunt and the loving look in his eyes. Her breath hitched as he entered her—not just from the sensation of being filled by him, but by her own suffocating cowardice.  

 

He moved inside her, each thrust like the note of a lullaby finally calming her frayed nerves while he brought her closer to a release. She gave in, letting the rush of endorphins cloud her manic thoughts. He came inside her, grunting her name against her cheek. She felt his hot seed coat her sensitive walls, and she clenched around him.

 

He stayed on top of her, but leaned back to look at her, into her eyes. Her resolve crumbled and tears spilled down her cheeks. He, too, was filled with emotion so he just kissed each tear away, not needing an explanation.

 

Afterwards, they lay quietly in the bright room. They had made love with the light on, making Scully feel as if a spotlight shined on her indiscretions. Scully listened to his heartbeat, resting her head on his chest. He was running his fingers through her hair. Her eyes stared blankly ahead of her. She felt like she was in a state of shock—shock at herself at what she had allowed to have happen without coming clean first.

 

“Can I confess something?” he said.

 

Her heart stopped.

 

“I went to see Stella when I was in London.”

 

It started beating again, but much faster than she thought possible. “What?” She lifted her head to look at him. “Why?”

 

One syllable questions were all she could manage.

 

“I never got the chance to tell you that Stella had called. She had written our names in a diary and it became evidence in a case she was on.”

 

Scully’s head was swimming. “Wait, what? What are you talking about?”

 

“She was just calling to let us know as a courtesy; it had no bearing on the case.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

 

“You had gone off with Cancer Man. I thought you were missing.”

 

“Oh Jesus, this again?” groaned Scully. “And what, you couldn't tell me afterward?” Scully said, fighting to keep her composure.

 

“It didn’t seem important. I’m sorry, it slipped my mind,” he said, defensively.

 

“Then why did you feel the need to go see her?”

 

“Why are you getting angry? I didn’t see her, okay? She wasn’t even in England. Actually, she was here. In DC, of all places.”

 

Scully knew what she was doing, and she was ashamed. She was trying to build a case against him, trying to make him share in her guilt. If he had kept things from her, then her secrets might not be so horrible.  

 

“Sorry, I, uh, I...I’m sorry.” She didn’t know how to explain what she was sorry for.

 

He accepted it, though, and his eyes softened. She laid her head back down on him.

 

“So, what was the thing with the diary?” she asked.

 

“She keeps a dream journal and she had had a dream about us. The killer—it was a serial case—got inside her room and read it, left her a note in it.”

 

“Huh,” responded Scully, trying to come off as apathetic to it all.

 

“I read up on it. It was a mess. She caught him, though.”

 

Scully smiled at that. “He went to prison?”

 

“No, he hung himself in the psychiatric facility,” he said. “Sounded like a helluva case, no wonder she took a vacation. He had attacked her, as well, while he was in custody.”

 

Scully grimaced and closed her eyes. “Oh my God,” she whispered.

 

The bruise on her face, the cut on her brow. The urge to leave and go to Stella was strong; she was practically crawling out of her skin.

 

“Can you turn off the light?” asked Scully, meekly.

 

He reached over and flicked the switch on the lamp.

 

“Goodnight, Scully.” He kissed her forehead.

 

“Night, Mulder,” she responded, barely above a whisper.

 

***

 

Scully pulled her coat tighter around her as she waited on the doorstep. Stella opened the door looking sleepy and beautiful.

 

“I didn’t know.”

 

Stella stepped aside, motioning for Scully to come inside.

 

“What didn’t you know?” Stella asked as they sat down on the sofa. She gathered the hem of her nightgown so she could curl her knees up and face Scully who was perched tense and stiff on the edge.

 

“About your case. Mulder never told me.”

 

Stella nodded, knowingly.

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

“No.”

 

Scully looked at her, puzzled.

 

Stella ignored her. “Mulder is back?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And how did I come up in conversation?”

 

“He said he went to see you in London. That’s where he was, by the way,” Scully said, weakly.

 

“Was that before or after you slept with him?”

 

Scully opened her mouth and then shut it.

 

“I can smell him on you,” Stella continued.

 

Scully closed her eyes in shame.

 

“I tried to tell him. I wanted to tell him, but I, I just couldn’t get the words out. I’m so confused. We were in such a bad place, and tonight it was like before. But, then, with you I-- it’s-- I like being with you. I like how I am with you.”

 

Stella remained expressionless. She was hurt and jealous that Scully had jumped into bed with Mulder barely 24 hours after they had spent the night together. But, she also knew she had no right to those feelings. She never indicated to Scully that this was anything or that she wanted anything. And it bothered her that she did want something. For a no strings attached type of person, the unexpected impetus of Scully’s strings were confining and uncomfortable. Her next course of action was an attempt to untangle herself, although it went against what she was feeling in her heart.

 

“You’re speaking about me like I am one of your choices. We’re just fucking.”

 

Scully felt like she was kicked in the gut. Stella’s comment offended her, angered her, and cut her deeply. Scully refused to believe that the connection she felt with Stella had been imagined or one-sided. She didn’t try to disguise her pained expression nor did it go unnoticed by Stella.

 

All or nothing, Stella thought, sadly. She was going to put some emotional distance between them. She had to. It was a matter of survival. And what better way to drive a wedge than with sex.

 

She leaned into Scully, putting her hand on her thigh, and licked her neck up to her earlobe and took it between her teeth. She felt Scully’s body stiffen. She was still warring with conflict, and Stella’s advance further confused things.

 

“You’re good at fucking around,” she whispered hotly into Scully’s ear. “He was inside of you, what, less than an hour ago? And here you are on my doorstep in the middle of the night.”

 

Scully’s breath became labored as she tried to restrain her raging emotions. Stella continued to nibble at her neck.

 

Scully pushed her away and stood. “I didn’t come here to fuck.”

 

“No?”

 

“No, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

Now Stella was mad. The implication that she needed to be taken care of or looked after irked her. She stood, too, but was unable to meet Scully’s eyes.

 

“Thank you for your concern, but, as you can see, I’m fine.”



“Are you?” Scully took Stella’s hand in hers, tenderly.

 

No, she wasn’t fine. None of this was fine. She felt like a wounded bird, helpless and flightless. She couldn’t elude her own fragility. Stella thought she had found some solace in Scully, but feelings developed, and escapism sex was not an option with her anymore. She did want to lean on Scully, but as a support system, Scully was shaky, at best—her life in disarray, as well. She was angry that Scully was upsetting the balance in her life, even though the scale was already tipped, violently, by Spector and all that went on in Belfast.

 

Stella pulled her hand out of Scully’s and took a step away. “Yes,” she said, crossing her arms protectively in front of her.

 

Scully nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Do you want me to go?”

 

***

 

Mulder’s uneasy feeling crept back under his skin when he awoke to a vacant spot next to him in his bed. When he had seen Scully at the hospital, and she told him about Daniel and everything that had gone on, his paranoia faded. He felt silly for even thinking he would come back to find Scully with Stella. How would she have found the time , he thought, relieved. What with defibrillators, holistic healers, and visions in Buddhist temples to keep her busy. And she had seemed happy to see him, much to his surprise.

 

Their lovemaking was gentle and emotional. He felt connected to her, more than he had in a long time. But waking up to her absence severed that connection, and he felt a chill come over his body. He thought back to the exasperation she had expressed when he mentioned Stella. She still had anger towards him; maybe it was deep down, but it was there, nonetheless. Here they were trying to fight their way back to some normalcy in their relationship, and he just glossed over their conflicts, hoping sentimental sex would smooth everything out. He knew Scully didn’t operate like that, so what did he really expect. She held onto things. He was going to have to actually talk about it with her.

 

He had tried last night, but ended up talking in circles until she fell asleep. When she appeared in his bedroom doorway, he had planned to continue, but she looked so soft and serene. They had gone a long time being at odds with each other, and every look between them had held such tension. It seemed that all that had fallen away, and any sadness he detected in her was just her grief over the time they had lost. That’s what he was feeling; he was so sure she felt the same.

 

Now, he suspected that Scully needed an apology from him; several, in fact. Not only did she need them, but she deserved them. He had been such an ass over Jerse and over The Smoking Man. She hadn’t even done anything wrong, but he fucking crucified her for it. No, some sappy lovemaking wasn’t going to fix this.

 

***

 

They had gravitated to each other with a mix of passion and ulterior motives. Stella pulled her close in an attempt to push her away, and Scully was determined to prove a point—that there was more than just sex between them. Having gotten too close to revealing their feelings, they stopped posturing. They recognized each other’s vulnerabilities, but silently agreed to ignore them, sanctioning sex as a way to achieve their disparate goals. Both of them knew, at some level, that it was a terrible, if not dangerous, idea, but just their proximity to each other blurred the lines of right and wrong, reasonable and irrational.

 

Stella’s touch was rough and unforgiving, and Scully happily accepted it at first, taking it as punishment for what she had done to both her and Mulder. But then Stella moved to provoking, hoping to drive her away while leading her to climax, simultaneously. This left Scully disoriented, a whole mess of feelings collecting inside her—guilt, shame, lust, exhilaration.

 

Stella had Scully up against the wall—hand under her skirt, underwear shoved aside—as she fingered her. She nipped at her neck and along her chest, leaving red marks on Scully’s pale skin, her sweater having been discarded moments before. Scully held on tight at Stella’s shoulders, taking each assailing thrust into her in stride, getting off on the pain and pleasure it incited. Scully’s submission to her and obvious arousal, troubled and excited Stella. She tried to push away the disturbing thoughts she had of Mulder fucking Scully and how it turned her on even with the underlying sense of betrayal.

 

Frustrated, she pulled out of Scully and yanked down her panties. She unfastened Scully’s skirt and pushed it down, too. She knelt, purposefully, in front of Scully and gripped her hips. Her soft diet ended now. She intended to whip Scully into a frenzy with her talented mouth.

 

Scully pressed her back into the wall for support as Stella assaulted her cunt. She was dripping wet and her knees were becoming weak. Stella moved her hands to Scully’s ass, and squeezed her, roughly. With one thumb she massaged her taint, gathering moisture from her drenched pussy. Scully squirmed. She slid her finger up to Scully’s asshole and stroked her. Scully’s hips flinched, and then Stella felt her push into her hand. Stella replaced her tongue with the fingers of her other hand and toyed with Scully’s clit.

 

“Like that?” she said, her voice dripping with provocation.

 

Scully didn’t respond verbally, but again pressed her ass towards Stella’s prodding finger. Stella applied more pressure until her finger slipped past Scully’s tightness. Scully moaned loudly.

 

“You let Mulder do this to you?”

 

A dry sob escaped her throat. “Stop, please.”

 

“Stop what?” Stella asked, wickedly, fingers playing, relentlessly, at her clit and asshole.

 

“Don’t say his name.”

 

“Do you let Mulder do this to you?” she repeated, ignoring Scully’s pleading.

 

“Yesss,” she hissed, straining against the building pleasure that just increased her shame.

 

Stella knew forcing Scully to think about Mulder while she made her come would be a final nail in the coffin. She fucked her cunt with her other hand and licked at her clit. Scully was panting and spasming, and quickly gave way to a powerful climax. Stella removed her hands from Scully and stood. Scully slumped to the floor in a tearful heap, face in her hands.

 

“Now I want you to go,” Stella said.

 

Scully cried harder. Stella left the room before her own tears fell.

Chapter Text

Scully stared listlessly ahead while Mulder left his third message on her machine.

 

“So, just call me back. Scully. Please,” said his voice through the speaker.

 

He had called this morning before heading into the office, telling her she didn’t have to come in since he had planned on them still being out of town. She wasn’t going to go in even if she was supposed to. He called again once he got to work, and was now calling to tell her he was leaving for the day.

 

Scully had barely moved since the second call, nearly seven hours ago. She had ventured out at one point, walking to the convenience store up the street to get a pack of cigarettes and a cup of coffee. The coffee was black and the cigarettes were Morleys. She appreciated the bitterness of the coffee and the irony of the brand of smokes. She didn’t deserve cream and sugar, and she felt like a villain, so these were the perfect accessories for her.

 

Shame and guilt were ugly beasts, and she had grown tired of trying to fight them. They were two sides of the same coin, and they had completely consumed her. Her outlook seemed bleak; she could not see a way out of this fire she had started, so she just let everything continue to burn down around them.

 

Running away had been her pathetic forte in the past. She had left Daniel, she had been ready to leave the X-Files when they threatened to reassign her. Hell, she had even run away from a career in medicine only to mourn that decision a decade later when she realized her life didn’t consist of a husband and 2.5 kids. Did she even want that kind of life? What did she actually want? It was this kind of all-encompassing self-doubt that got her into this mess. She chased after things she was supposed to have at this point in her life, telling herself that she had settled for the X-Files and Mulder as consolation prizes, keeping in the back of her mind that they would somehow magically shift into that socially acceptable life.

 

But Mulder had made her happy, despite all the shit they had gone through. He deserved more than to be thought of as second best, especially next to some dream life that people expected a woman like her to have. He was who he was, and never pretended to be anything else, but she told him in actions and in words that it wasn’t enough. She wanted more. More what? She didn’t even know, but she was becoming more and more sure that she was the one pretending all this time.

 

And the idea of being with Stella made her happy, too, no matter how unrealistic she knew it was. But, just the fact that it was another unconventional relationship that made her feel this way told her that maybe her proclivities fell outside the norm. Her rational mind had just taken too long to catch up to her heart, and she had fucked everything up in the meantime.

 

Her punishment should actually be the mundane life with a boring spouse, bratty kids, and a dull nine to five job. That would be morbidly ironic, she thought, contemplating lighting up another cigarette. She chose against movement, not wanting to remember she was alive, and stayed buried under the weight of her blanket and her aggrandizing thoughts.

 

Mulder hung up and leaned back in his chair, staring at the phone. He couldn’t concentrate all day, Scully being a constant worry in his mind. Was she regretting sleeping with him without having resolved any of the issues that had plagued them for the better part of the last month? If he could just talk to her and give her that long overdue apology, they could move past this; he was desperate to.

***

“Stella Gibson for DCS Crawford, please.” She fidgeted with a pencil while she waited for her boss to get on the line.

 

“Stella. Good to hear from you,” came the voice of Detective Chief Superintendent Grant Crawford over the phone.

 

“I’m ready to come back next week,” said Stella, getting right to the point.

 

“Okay. I’ll get you on the books,” he responded, knowing her well enough to not second guess her judgement.

 

She appreciated his quick agreement. “Thank you. See you Monday.”

 

He wished her safe travels, and she promptly ended the call, hoping to avoid any niceties. She stood up from the desk in the home office and paced, taking some deep breaths to calm herself. Stella had arranged her flight home before calling Crawford. She would be leaving on Friday, extricating herself from this erroneous situation.       

 

She went to the bathroom and laid out her robe and a towel. Looking at her face in the mirror, she saw the bruise was almost completely gone. Stella shed her nightgown and observed her body in the reflection. The contusion on her face had stayed visible so much longer than the one on her torso, but she still felt tenderness at her ribs. After she tested the area for pain, her fingers went down to the scars on her thighs. She remembered Scully touching them and thought about what she would do or say if she’d known how Stella got them. Dangerous line of thinking, she knew.

 

Stella had told Jim at the height of the Spector case that everyone has physical, emotional needs that can only be met by interaction with another person. The trick is to ask someone appropriate to meet them. Some trick. Is there a person in the world that is wholly appropriate for anyone? Everyone came with some sort of baggage. She had gone years convincing herself that she wasn’t culpable for the damage caused by her trysts. If they were married or involved with someone, that was their choice to make, not hers. But, making herself so readily available for them to be tempted, and being blind to her unspoken influence made her complicit.

 

She had never realized that until Scully—until she cared enough about the aftermath and the person stuck in it. Her first instinct after letting herself indulge in more than a few shed tears was to leave—a good, clean break. What she did to Scully last night was anything but good and clean. It was dirty. She had played dirty, and that was not like her at all, especially with someone she had come to care about. She was always honest, sometimes brutally so, but she had lied to Scully.

 

As the foreign feeling of guilt and shame washed over her, she looked at her self-inflicted scars and had the urge to cut. Stella hadn’t felt like that since she was a teenager, and was stunned by the impulse. She went through the drawers of the vanity, looking for something sharp. Her fingers closed around a pair of cuticle scissors, shakily. She sat down and held the point to the skin near her scars. The relief she remembered was just a slice away, but she hesitated, Katie flashing in her mind’s eye—her speech about tough dreams and voices that tell us we’re not good enough. If she succumbed to this, everything she had told Katie would be a lie, too.

 

She threw the scissors in the sink. Enough, she scolded herself. That’s enough lying. To myself and to anyone.

***  
   

Scully wasn’t surprised when she heard the knock at her door approximately 25 minutes after Mulder had left his last message. That was about the time it took to drive from the J. Edgar Hoover building to her apartment.

 

“Scully?” he asked, in between knocks.

 

Scully got up, limbs heavy from the inactivity and her self-hatred. She knew he would use his key if she didn’t answer.

 

She unlocked and opened the door. Mulder stepped inside, cautiously, his chest deflating with relief that she was okay and alive. Well, she was alive, okay was debatable. She was in an oversized t-shirt that he seemed to recall her wearing on their first case together. He could barely see the running shorts underneath it. Thick wool socks were on her feet. The room was dark and silent. He smelled smoke—not fire smoke, cigarette smoke, and not just any cigarette smoke.

 

“It smells like cigarettes in here.”

 

“Mulder--”

 

He spotted the pack of Morleys on the coffee table. “Since when do you smoke?” Mulder tried to keep any accusatory tone out of his question.

 

“I’ve always smoked when I’m stressed. Since college,” she said, hating the way her voice sounded, small and gutless.

 

“Why are you stressed?” he asked, afraid of the answer.

 

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Daniel?” She looked away from him.

 

The way her tone went up, making it a question, put more fear into him. What wasn’t she telling him?

 

She shifted, keeping her gaze at the floor. “We’ll talk tomorrow at the office,” said Scully, cowardly.

 

“Scully, you’re scaring me.”

 

“Tomorrow.” This time she made eye contact with him, and immediately regretted it. The look on his face was tortured and she knew that image would haunt her for a good while. She controlled her breath that threatened to become panicked gasps for air, steeling herself until he turned to leave.

Chapter Text

He was there when she got to the office. Jacket off, sleeves rolled up. Ready for a fight? she wondered. Or to get his hands dirty from handling what she was going to tell him? He was facing away from her staring at the I Want To Believe poster. She didn’t say anything, but she knew he knew she was there. Mulder closed his eyes and took a breath. His gut was telling him that there was something to dread about the next couple of minutes, and he had learned long ago to trust his gut. The chair groaned, straining under his weight turning to face her. She looked as frightened as he felt—her pale skin even paler and dark circles under her eyes, a ghostly version of his partner.

 

Mulder stood, wanting to give his apology and argument for them to stay together some stature. “Scully, I want to apologize,” he started.

 

She winced, and Mulder noticed. It made him stumble on his next words. “I-- I want to apologize for, for a lot, for--”

 

“Mulder--”

 

He kept going. “For things that happened years ago, for things that happened the other nigh--”

 

“I slept with Stella,” she blurted out louder and more forcefully than intended. She just couldn’t bear another word of his apology.

 

He froze—a stunned expression on his face, his eyes, wide with shock, searing holes into hers. It was the longest moment of her life. He, mercifully, broke their eye contact, and then blindly groped for his jacket draped on the back of the chair. Once it was in hand, he walked out the door.

 

Scully was holding her breath. She let it out raggedly and nearly choked on it.

 

“Whoa, whoa, Mulder, where’s the fire?” Skinner’s voice came from the hallway. Luckily she hadn’t given into the tears yet. He appeared at the doorway seconds later.

 

“He nearly took me out. What’s going on?” he asked.

 

Scully tersely shook her head to indicate that it was nothing, still trying not to break down. She looked at him questioningly, not able to trust her voice not to betray her.

 

“I’m heading out of town this afternoon. Should be back by the end of the week, Monday at the latest.”

Scully nodded.

 

“Also, accounting is on my ass about this recent England trip, so tell Mulder to get his report in ASAP.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Everything all right?”

 

She nodded again. He hesitated, not convinced, but knew he would get nowhere by pressing her. Skinner gave her a concerned half-smile before leaving.

***

 

Scully found herself back on the doorstep that had become quite familiar to her in just a few short days. She chewed her lip while waiting out those long moments it took for Stella to answer the door. If she decided to answer the door, Scully thought, her stomach churning with nerves.

 

The relief when the door finally opened flashed only for a second and was gone when she met Stella’s eyes. Her face was unreadable, but she stepped aside anyway, allowing Scully to enter. They made their way to the kitchen, both consciously avoiding the living room and internally cringing, remembering how Scully’s last visit had ended.

 

“Coffee?”

 

Scully shook her head.

 

“Whiskey?” Stella said, this time with the hint of a smile.

 

Scully huffed out a small laugh, grateful for Stella’s joke. They looked at each other for a beat, then Scully dropped her gaze to her fidgeting hands, ready to launch into the apology she’d been rehearsing in her head.

 

“Stella, I’m so sorr--”

 

Stella shook her head and waved her hand as if to clear Scully’s words away. “There’s no need. We don’t need to do this—apologies for hurting each other, for using each other. It’s done, and it’s okay. I’m okay, and you’re going to be okay.”

 

Tears stung behind Scully’s eyes, and she shut them to keep them from falling. She nodded, imperceptibly, knowing Stella was right, but having a hard time accepting it.

 

“Have you spoken to Mulder?”

 

“Yes, well, I told him, and he walked out. I don’t know what’s going to happen. He’s angry, rightfully. I messed up pretty bad—by being dishonest. That’s what I feel bad about, not for being with you. Just because, logically, this doesn't make sense,” Scully motioned between them, “doesn’t mean it wasn’t real—it is real. For me, at least.” A tear escaped, and she quickly wiped it away.

 

Stella sighed. Scully had just sidestepped her plan for a quick and easy break. Stella had long ago developed a knee-jerk reaction to people declaring their feelings for her. She usually shut it down with a few succinct words. That intrinsic reaction didn’t come, and she let the silence thicken around them while she struggled with a response.

 

Scully’s last words echoed in her own head, loud and unrelenting, like an alarm bell telling her to abandon ship. She had said what she needed to say most, what she wanted Stella to hear. That was all she had control over.

 

“I’m gonna go,” she said.

 

Stella nodded, frustrated with herself for being cowardly. Scully turned away and headed towards the door. The sight of her walking away caused Stella to panic. She grabbed her datebook from the counter, jotted something down in it, and tore out the page.

 

“Scully.”

 

She pressed the paper into Scully’s hand. “My number. Ring me sometime. If you want. As a friend.” She kept Scully’s hand in hers, and squeezed it before saying, “It was real for me. It is real.”

 

***

 

Mulder didn’t know what to do or where to go so he drove aimlessly for awhile. He wanted to get pissed drunk at a bar, but it was nine in the morning. The terrible idea of finding someone to revenge fuck flashed briefly in his mind. It was ruled out quickly because what he felt was more hurt than anger. That would be an angry reaction—striking back with the intention to inflict pain. He was too crippled with pain to inflict any onto her, and he didn’t want to. Pain that he had caused earlier had helped her to make the decisions she had made. So it was self-pity and guilt mixed up with those hurt feelings.

 

With that revelation he stopped at a liquor store before getting back on a route to his apartment. The only thing he knew to do with these feelings was drown them. Sometimes it was in work and conspiracies, sometimes it was with porn, but this time called for alcohol.

 

By the time she showed up at his door later that evening, he had gotten wasted, sobered up, and was drunk again.

 

“I knew it, Scully. I knew it.”

 

She treaded lightly, wanting to be sensitive, but knowing a drunk Mulder would be difficult to deal with.

 

“What did you know, Mulder?”

 

“That you two were here fucking. As soon as I found out she was here, I knew. I just knew,” he rambled, animatedly. “I talked myself out of it. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but my first instinct was right, wasn’t it?”

 

Scully couldn’t bring herself to reward him with a response. He filled his empty glass with more vodka.

 

“Drink?” he offered Scully before downing his.

 

“No, thank you.” She wasn’t sure how long she could entertain this behavior.

 

“No, no, of course not.” He swayed a little, then filled his glass again.

 

Scully bit her tongue. She wanted to take away the bottle, to tell him to stop acting like this, but she knew she had no right.

 

“Why are you here, Scully?” He set his glass and the bottle down, and sat on the sofa, rubbing his face with his hands.

 

“I’m sorry, Mulder. I’m here to tell you I’m sorry for hurting you.”

 

The simplicity of her apology almost made him cry. Had he ever simply said “I’m sorry for hurting you” to her, to anyone? And even in his drunken haze, he felt her sincerity. He wasn’t ready to accept it, though.

 

“Duly noted,” he said, feeling like an ass as the words left his mouth.

 

She let out a measured breath, and was about to leave him to his wallowing when his phone rang. Mulder made no move to answer it. They both waited for the answering machine to pick up.

 

Skinner’s voice filled the room after Mulder’s outgoing message and the beep. “Mulder, I have a situation here that I could use you and Scully on right away. I’m in North Carolina. My assistant is arranging travel for you both. Check in with her as soon as you can.”

 

They shared a look. Scully raised a curious brow and Mulder slumped deeper into the couch.

 

“Want me to fix you some coffee?”

 

“No. I think you’ve done enough, haven’t you?” he replied, his question lacking hostility and heavy with emotional tiredness.

 

“Yeah,” she sighed, agreeing, and went into his kitchen to make the coffee anyway.

Chapter Text

They spoke only of logistics—packing, getting to the airport, boarding the plane. Once they took their seats, Mulder folded his arms across his chest and turned away from her as much as he could sitting right beside her in a cramped space. He either closed his eyes to sleep or to pretend to sleep. She wasn’t sure, but whichever it was, its purpose was to avoid her.

 

She had made him coffee, got him to drink water and to take Tylenol. He behaved and let her do it until her attention began to suffocate him. He was mad at her. Couldn’t she let him be mad? Mulder finally shooed her away—gently. They were both surprised at how gently he told her to leave.

 

Scully couldn’t decide if being forced into a working situation was a good thing or a bad thing. They had made an art of working alongside each other and pretending things never happened. Is that how this case was going to go, or had they grown since the last time?

 

They met Skinner at the Skobie residence. He served as a buffer so that they didn’t have to interact with each other, much to Scully’s chagrin and Mulder’s relief. Then they split up, Mulder going with Skinner to Morley Headquarters and Scully to the autopsy bay.

 

Scully’s discouragement grew as she watched them fall into the familiar pattern of avoidance. Not to say she wasn’t guilty of it. In the past she was the most frequent offender. This kind of behavior had, in part, led them to this place they were at. She wanted to change. She had changed. Her experience with Stella, she felt, had fundamentally changed her. How would it change her relationship with Mulder? That was the question, but he was tight lipped with the answer.

 

After finishing up the autopsy and doing some preliminary examinations of Mulder’s beetle, Scully went back to the hotel, and stopped at Mulder’s room before going to her own. She took it as a good sign that he even answered the door, considering the few tense words they had shared throughout the day and the cigarette-related digs she was sure were directed at her.

 

“Have you had dinner yet? I was thinking of ordering pizza.”

 

“I’m not hungry, Scully,” he said, sounding tired and sad, and tired of being sad.

 

“Okay.” She hesitated, not wanting to leave, but he hadn’t invited her in. “Oh! Do you want my notes on your bug?” she asked, grappling at the clasp on her computer bag.

 

He sighed. “Sure.”

 

Scully set her bag down on the bed and searched for the folder she had put together. She found it much too quickly. Mulder took it from her and turned away. She took the hint and gathered her things to leave.

 

Her hand was on the doorknob when he said, “I understand.” She almost thought she imagined it, he had said it so softly.

 

“I get it, Scully. I do.”

 

She looked at him, eyes full of sympathy, but also confusion. He expected to see that when he turned to face her.

 

“The place we had gotten to. It makes sense to me that you did what you did, if that makes any sense.” He chuckled inwardly at himself before becoming serious again. “But, Scully, it’s—it’s still tearing me up inside.”

 

Scully nodded.

 

“When Samantha disappeared, she left a hole inside of me. Then you came along, and you started to fill it, bit by bit, until there were no more empty places—just internal scars. And yesterday, when you told me, that hole was back. I feel empty again. Empty and lost.”

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

 

“I know. I’m sorry, too,” he said, finally meeting her eyes again. “For a multitude of things. You deserve more than overdue apologies that I give you only in return of one of your own. I’m sorry for hurting you, Scully,” he said, echoing her words from the night before.

 

“Oh Mulder,” she exhaled on a shaky breath. “It’s okay.” Scully couldn’t help but think of Stella’s words about hurting and using each other—how it was done, and they would both be okay.

 

“Is it?” he asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

He approached her, took her bag and set it on the floor. Scully wanted to embrace him, but felt like everything was still in his court. He swallowed the emotion stuck in his throat, and threaded his fingers into hers. She returned the touch by caressing his knuckles, his soft, warm palms with her thumbs. Their teary gazes settled on each other.

 

“Scully, I’m not expecting you to fill that space up again. It’s not your responsibility, okay?”

 

“Okay.” She felt like “okay” was her new “I’m fine,” but it had the opposite meaning. Instead of using it to evade her innermost feelings, this was, in a way, declaring them.

 

“I want you to be happy, Scully. That’s all I want.”

 

“I’m starting to figure that out, Mulder—what makes me happy. How were you supposed to know when I barely knew.” She gripped his hands, firmly. “One thing I know for sure is that you are something in my life that makes me happy. That doesn’t change or lessen if I find something else to be happy about.”

 

His chest tightened. Is this the beginning of the brush off? Was she going to make him follow through on this “whatever makes you happy” statement? He would if he had to. He had meant it, after all.

 

Scully saw the fear in his eyes. She wanted to put him at ease, but also wanted to be straightforward about her feelings. “Mulder, I am truly sorry about lying to you. It was a betrayal. There’s no way around that, and if I could, I would take that part back.” She paused. “But, I don’t regret it.”

 

She looked down at their entwined hands. Why was this so hard to explain? “I need you to know that I had—have—I have feelings for her. I’ve—we’ve—ended the sexual aspect of it, but,” she looked at Mulder, earnestly, “but I can’t break off a relationship with her. She’s become important to me.”

 

She slipped her hands out of his and looked away again. It was frustrating trying to explain these complicated feelings, and she knew how her words must’ve sounded in his ears. “I’m sure this is hard to understand. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it myself.”

 

She chanced a look at him. He was still looking at the place in his hands where hers just were a moment ago.

 

“I make you happy?” he asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

“And Stella makes you happy?”

 

Scully faltered, a pang of selfishness sparking inside her. “Yes.”

 

“Then it’s not that hard to understand,” he said, giving her a smile and a shrug.

 

She looked back at him with wonder. Mulder closed the space she had put between them, and took her face in his hands. She reflexively reached for his forearms.

 

“What would make you happy, Mulder?”

 

“Besides proof of the existence of extraterrestrials, you mean?”

 

She laughed, still in awe of his strikingly tactful response to everything that she hadn’t even allowed herself to have.

 

“You, Scully. You.”

 

They made love slowly and thoughtfully, taking care to look into each other’s eyes, to feel each other’s heartbeats. They explored one another like it was the first time, but with familiarity embedded in the prints they left on their bodies with their touch, mapping out points as if returning to a beloved home town.

 

The last time they had slept together, they had done so from a great distance, resting on different planes of existence, of understanding—the gravity of unsaid things muddled with perfunctory responses to one another’s affected stimuli.

 

Afterward, they lay facing each other, legs still entangled, hands still roaming.

 

“How does it feel to be off that pedestal, and down on solid ground with me?” Mulder asked.

 

She smiled. “Good. Safe.”

 

“Thank you for letting me be a part of your life, Scully.”

 

“Thank you for accepting me as I am.”

 

He clutched his heart. “Aaah, there you go again, filling that empty space,” he chuckled. “I can feel it.”

 

She giggled and pinched his sides. He tickled her back. They both laughed freely, relieved to have moved in tandem from a dark place to one of comfort and ease.

 

As their laughter subsided, Mulder said, “At the risk of sounding really ridiculous, I have to tell you, as I went over everything in my head, trying my damnedest to be mad at you—to blame you for everything, a stupid line from Friends kept running in the back of my mind.”  

 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mulder,” she said, so clearly knowing exactly to what he was referring.

 

“Of course, the lofty Agent Scully would not stoop to quote a lowly sitcom.”

 

She laid her head on his chest and had a flash of the last time she had done that. They had just had sex, her allowing him to make love to her under false pretenses as she withheld vital information and vital feelings.

 

“Mulder,” she said, seriously, “we weren’t on a break. There’s no excuse for me to have kept things from you.” She lifted her head and looked at him. “I really am sorry.”

 

He accepted her apology by kissing her, and they snuggled further under the sheets, ready for sleep to overtake them both.

 

“Mulder?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Am I supposed to be Ross in that scenario?”

 

Mulder laughed, and she joined him.

Chapter Text

The knocking at the door roused them from sleep, and the sound of Skinner’s voice jolted them awake.

 

“Shit!”

 

“Go in the bathroom,” Mulder whispered, gathering her clothes from the ground and tossing them to her.

 

He slipped on his boxers and answered the door.

 

“There’s been another death. Get dressed and meet me out front.”

 

Mulder nodded.

 

“Do you know where Scully is? I knocked on her door, but no answer.”

He shook his head and shrugged.

 

“I’ll call her cell. Get dressed.”

 

Mulder closed the door, relieved. Scully came out dressed in yesterday’s rumpled clothes.

 

Her cell phone rang from inside her computer bag.

 

“That’ll be Skinner,” Mulder said, amused by their close call.

 

“Fuck, what do I say?”

“Say you were in the shower.”

 

“Scully,” she said into the phone. “Yes sir...I was in the shower...yes...ten minutes?...all right.”

 

She hung up and looked at her disheveled appearance in the mirror. “Lovely.” She smoothed her hair a little, and then grabbed the rest of her things. “See you out front.”

 

Mulder caught her before she could leave, and kissed her.

 

***

 

Stella did another check around the house, resecuring locks and looking for items that she may have missed. She placed the key atop the note she had written for her friend, thanking her for letting her stay. Despite the situation with Scully, her trip had been relaxing, and had allowed her to recuperate. It was nice to be in an environment that wasn’t a hotel or her flat, which she’d found to be so dismally lonely when she had returned to it from Belfast.  She hoped it wouldn’t still feel like that when she got back later tonight.

 

The driver arrived and took her bags to load into the town car. She gave a last look around before setting the alarm. Leaving felt bittersweet. She had felt comfortable here, and got a much needed break from her usual self; the one that held back feelings and never let anyone in. It was here that Scully had broken past that wall. Even when she had tried to rebuild it, Scully had snuck back in before the cement set. She was grateful to Scully for that. This way it didn’t have to be an end. Stella felt good about how they left things; she was hopeful, but going home still felt sad.

 

She already missed Scully. Stella let herself feel that, welcomed it even, but she found some ugly feelings attached to it—ones of jealousy and resentment that Scully had Mulder to go back to. At least she assumed that they would patch things up. She remembered their night together, and how obviously in love he was with Scully. Stella was sure he would take her back, if he hadn’t already. They would have each other, and Stella would go back to her life of meaningless sex and sweet nights, living by herself within those neat and tidy, and, once again, impenetrable walls. Luckily she now had Scully’s lifeline to cling to as a source of comfort.


***

 

The rate at which Mulder’s condition worsened was alarming. Scully had thought they were in the clear. He was conscious; he was cracking jokes, and then another swarm of larvae hatched inside him. They couldn’t keep up. Skinner wasn’t answering his phone. Scully was coming very close to falling apart. She couldn’t help but feel that this was some warped version of karma—being forced to watch him suffer was the worst kind of suffering, and adding to it was her feeling of helplessness. She couldn’t do anything for him.

 

The doctor kept insisting they crack open his chest, but there was no way Mulder could survive it. She tried Skinner’s cell again, and got his voicemail.

 

“Damn it.”

 

She paced the hallway, and tried to avoid looking into Mulder’s room. Not even a week ago she had watched another man’s life hang in the balance. She felt helpless then, too, resorting to healers and spiritual remedies, but she didn’t feel the panic she was feeling right now. If Mulder didn’t make it through this, her world would crumble. As much as she wanted to claim independence, her entire being was wrapped up in this man. She was chastising herself for succumbing to this fatalistic train of thought when her phone rang.

 

Skinner told her he was on the way to the hospital with Weaver. She ran to find the doctor.

 

***

 

As Mulder fought for his life, Stella was returning to hers. When she got home, she immediately unpacked, sorted laundry, and put fresh sheets on her bed. She didn’t want anything around that could let her dwell on her time away. But, it would take more than that to fool her mind. As she finished each task, the melancholic thoughts crept back in. It was frustrating. She considered going out to a bar and picking up a guy. Some sexual release that she was in control of was tempting. She decided against it, figuring jumping into bed with some random was probably not the best idea when she was feeling emotionally off balance.

 

Stella poured herself a glass of wine and settled in front of the television. Some mind-numbing distraction would hopefully do the trick. She flipped through the channels before stopping on a Cheers rerun. She couldn’t concentrate on the show. Annoying thoughts invaded her brain like gnats. Stupid things, too, like what would she and Scully watch on TV if they spent the night in. What kind of movies would she like to watch? She wondered if Scully liked old black and white films. Cheers ended without her registering a single plot point or joke.

 

She filled her glass with more wine. The programming changed to the American reality show, Cops. She didn’t change the channel; she knew it didn’t matter what was on the screen, her mind right now was determined to fixate on Scully. And then as if she had willed her into existence with the power of her thoughts, there was Scully on her television. Stella almost knocked over the bottle of wine when she scrambled for the remote to turn up the volume.

 

Have I gone mental? I haven’t drunk that much wine, have I? Stella thought, afraid she was going mad. No, it really was her. They were investigating something in Los Angeles, and it looked like this Cops crew glommed onto them. Stella was perched at the edge of her loveseat. Her eyes searched for Scully in every cut and with every shaky camera movement.

 

The segment was short, and ended much too quickly for Stella’s liking. She had the urge to call Scully, to tell her about the wild coincidence, but it was too soon. She would make a joke about how she just couldn’t escape the enigmatic Dana Scully. It was the truth, though, wasn’t it? She was having a tough go of it, trying to shake her. Stella switched off the television, and an oppressive silence filled the room.

 

As Stella got ready for bed, she kept catching herself smiling at some memory of Scully or one of her irritated expressions from the show. She scolded herself the first couple of times, and then gave up, and let the images play in her mind. She was putting lotion on her legs when her thoughts switched from innocent to lustful. Ah, fuck it, she thought, and she began to touch herself. She didn’t masturbate often, usually fulfilling her sexual needs with other people. Actually, the last time she did this was because of the dream she had about her and Mulder. This time she kept Mulder out of it, and pictured Scully in positions she had witnessed in real life, and recently—Scully straddling her lap, Scully’s lips on her clit, her fingers inside Scully’s tight cunt. She came quickly.

 

Afterwards, she crawled into bed, and waited for the feeling of shame to engulf her, but it didn’t. She felt better and more at ease than she had since she left DC. Stella even felt a little proud of herself for handling her emotions and anxiety in a somewhat healthy way with self-care rather than resorting to a mindless fuck with some inconsequential person. She was going to get through this phase—this stage of mourning what could’ve been—what could’ve been if she had an entirely different life. It was silly, almost, to be upset about it, but Scully brought out these flights of fancy in her. Like Scully had said, even if they don’t make sense, it’s still real. She had come out on the other side with a relationship in tact. And that was something she could hold onto.

Chapter Text

Stella looked at the ringing phone, annoyed at the distraction. She finished typing her sentence and then peered at the caller ID. It was a DC number. Her irritation was immediately replaced with nerves.  

 

“Hello?”

 

“Stella, it’s Scully.”

 

“Well, hi.” Stella rolled her eyes. Well, hi? What a twit.

 

“I thought I’d get that first awkward ‘friend’ call out of the way,” Scully said.

 

Stella chuckled. “Thank you for that.”

 

Both of them had resisted the impulse to reach out numerous times, and both women kept that information to themselves.

 

“How are you? Are you back at work?”

 

“Yes. Everything is business as usual,” Stella replied, although the fact that the only thing she had fucked in the past two weeks was her own hand was hardly usual for her. She was sure their “friendly” phone calls weren’t at the point where she would share such a thing, if ever. The truth was she threw herself back into work, ignoring her base instinct to seek sexual release with indifferent partners, fulfilling her needs herself while thinking of Scully. This behavior was starting to concern her, but she was having trouble snapping out of it. “How are you?”

 

“Good, good. Same old here, as well.”

 

“And you and Mulder?”

 

Scully hesitated. “We’re good. Back on track.” She felt guilty saying it, and she hated her choice of words. Back on track? What an ass.

 

“I’m glad to hear it.”

 

Silence.

 

“This is a bit awkward, isn’t it?” Scully asked.

 

“You pointing it out has certainly made it so,” replied Stella with a hint of teasing.

 

Scully breathed a grateful sigh. Stella always knew how to lighten uncomfortable situations. “Sorry,” Scully said, meekly.

 

Stella could envision the shy smile that was on Scully’s lips at that moment. She felt a lightness in her chest.

 

“So, really, how is it being back to work?”

 

“It’s fine. I’m overseeing several cases rather than being assigned an inquiry. I have to go back to Belfast for an inquest.”

 

“Oh. Will that be complicated?”

 

“No. Yes.” Her tone was impassive.

 

“Do you not want to talk about it?”

 

“Not particularly.”

 

“All right,” Scully said. “Change of subject. Um…”

 

“How about television?”

“Television?” That’s the last thing she would expect Stella to want to chat about.

 

“Have you ever seen the show, Cops?”

 

Scully groaned. “Oh no.”

 

“Oh yes.”

 

“You get that over there?”

“We do.”

 

“Oh my God,” she groaned again.

 

“You looked good on camera.”

 

“I’m sure we looked like total buffoons.”

 

“Not at all. You were quite adorable, actually.” Stella let the affectionate observation slip, but she didn’t worry about it. It was a perfectly friendly thing to say, and it felt good to not completely hold back.

 

The comment made Scully blush, and she hummed her skepticism into the phone. A dull ache began to permeate in her abdomen. She missed Stella. She was such a serious person, and each and every time Stella was lighthearted and playful with her the effect was somewhat dizzying.

 

“I miss you.” She knew she shouldn’t say it, but she was compelled to.

 

Stella’s muscles tensed. She didn’t need this right now. Not with it already being so difficult to return to her normal life, her normal self. “I have to go,” she said, matter of factly.

 

Scully swallowed and nodded. She kind of expected this reaction. “Okay. Good luck in Belfast.”

 

Stella pressed the end button without saying goodbye. She sat staring at the phone, hoping the onslaught of unwanted emotions would pass. Maybe she should rethink this “friends” arrangement.

 

Scully hung up, mentally kicking herself. Why did she have to say that? Maintaining a friendship with Stella over the phone was proving to be difficult. She didn’t have the benefit of being face to face, and she was harder to read. Friends can tell each other they missed them, but Stella was not a normal friend. She was someone with whom she had a brief but passionate affair, and she wasn’t ready or willing to let her out of her life. She would have to be more prudent in their conversations in the future.

 

***

 

They had worked quietly for most of the morning, Scully doing some much needed reorganizing and Mulder researching something from The Lone Gunmen’s latest issue. Scully broke the silence.

 

“Mulder?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“In the interest of full disclosure,” she started, hoping to affect a casualness in her voice.

 

Her attempt was lost on him because he immediately became uneasy. Being cheated on had that effect. He was hoping this period of mistrust would be short lived, but right now it had him on high alert.

 

“I spoke with Stella last night. Just, um, catching up, you know. I don’t want to, um, I just thought you ought to be aware, or ...something.” She had sounded so much more sure of herself in her head.

 

Mulder raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly as if he understood, and that it was the most natural thing to hear.

 

“And how is the Detective Superintendent?”

 

“Uh, good. I think. You know how she’s not very forthcoming in conversation.”

 

“No, I don’t, actually,” he said, trying not to sound bitter.

 

Scully looked down at her hands.

 

“I mean, I can imagine she wouldn’t be,” Mulder back pedaled. He wanted her to be able to tell him these things, to talk of Stella as if she was a friend, because that’s what she apparently was now. Mulder needed to treat her as such even though it was exceedingly difficult when images of them fucking came so readily to his mind. He was in a unique position to have witnessed, in person, the two of them having sex. It wasn’t like he had to use his imagination to fuel his jealous-filled angst. All he had to do was recall images from that night. It was somehow worse than crafting his own illusion. It made it more real, and it was fucking torture.

 

“What do you want to do for lunch?” he asked, embarrassed by the transparency of his change of the subject. “Want to go out somewhere?”

 

“Sure,” she said, accepting the unspoken truce, wondering how long it would last.

 

They went to a hole-in-the-wall deli that had a wide selection of salads for her and Mulder’s favorite pastrami on rye.

 

He finished his sandwich and watched her. The particular way she picked through a salad had always amused him.

 

“I have a surprise for you.”

 

Just the sentence surprised her. She looked up at him. “You do?”

 

He reached back into his jacket that was hanging on the back of his chair, and fished in the inside pocket. He placed something on the table in front of her.

 

“Plane tickets? To Los Angeles?”

 

"The Lazarus Bowl, Scully.” He wagged his eyebrows at her.

 

“Really? You want to go to that? I threw the invite in the trash as soon as I opened it.”

 

“C’mon. It’ll be fun,” he said, and she made a face. “Besides, when we were there for the filming we weren’t, you know, together yet. We can actually have a little vacation without the pretense of it being work-related.”

 

“Won’t Skinner be there?”

 

He scrunched his nose. “Yeah. I made sure to book us into a different hotel.”

 

“Well, you’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?” She smiled at him.

 

“So yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

***

 

DCS Grant Crawford stood leaning in her office door frame, but she didn’t notice him. He finally cleared his throat. Stella looked up and then back down at the papers at her desk. “Yes?”

 

“Ready for the inquest?”

 

“Yes,” she said, continuing to work.

 

“Good.” He kept watching her. Like everyone in the office, he was fascinated by her, even though he knew her better than any of them. They had come up through the ranks together; he secured a higher position ahead of her simply because he was a man. He knew it and she knew it. She never held it against him, but he always felt guilty about the unfairness. He pushed the high profile cases her way because she was the most qualified, but also to make up for the patriarchal inequity.

 

He knew rumors that they had had an affair flew around the station. She so much as looked at a man, the busybodies would concoct tall tales and scandals that would spread like wildfire. Not that she didn’t engage in illicit liaisons from time to time, but the gossip about her was appalling. He hated it, and couldn’t understand how she shrugged it off so coolly.

 

They had never slept together, or even exchanged the slightest sexual banter. He had always felt like a big brother to her even though he was only a year older. Just the thought of an affair was ludicrous. He was happily married. His wife, Marla, knew Stella fairly well, and knew about the rumors. She never once gave credence to them, often commiserating with him about workplace male chauvinism.

 

She looked up and saw him still standing there. Stella gave him a questioning look, not bothering to put words to it.

 

“Marla and I are having a dinner party, and she expects you to be there.”

 

“I’ll be in Belfast,” she responded, clipped.

 

“No, you’ll be back by Sunday. Plenty of time,” he said, smirking. He knew she hated their parties.

 

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. She sighed.

 

Crawford grinned and turned to leave. “Have a nice trip, Stella.”

Chapter Text

They did a good amount of damage to Skinner’s Bureau credit card; a nice cozy dinner at an upscale but hidden trattoria in Brentwood and a chauffeured town car to shuttle them around. Mulder had his hand high on Scully’s thigh under her dress, and caressed her soft skin with his thumb in little, loving circles. In his other hand was a bottle of champagne that their waiter had let them purchase and take to-go. He had popped it open it for them, and Mulder hoped the fizz would keep until they got to the beach.

 

The driver parked. Scully took off her heels and threw them back into the car before they began their walk in the sand. She clung to his arm as they passed the bottle between them. Scully had been handsy and giggly all night—well, when Skinner wasn’t around. Mulder felt like he had died and gone to heaven, or at least came back as a carefree zombie whose only purpose in life was to eat, drink, dance, and make love with Dana Katherine Scully.

 

They reached a darkened stretch of the beach that was away from the other late night strollers and the city lights. Mulder took his jacket off and laid it down for them to sit on. Scully sat between his legs and rested her back against him. He took a swig of the champagne and handed it to her, leaning in to feel her silky hair on his lips, and breathing in her scent which mixed with the salty ocean air.

 

“Scully?”

 

“Hmm?” she hummed, running her finger along the opening of the bottle.

 

“If you died and had the opportunity to come back and haunt me, would you?”

 

She laughed, well, it wasn’t really a laugh, but that same charming giggle that had been delighting him the whole trip. “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

 

“You would withhold haunting me so I couldn’t get proof, huh?” He pinched at her ribs, causing more laughter. “That’s cold, Scully.”

 

“Would you haunt me?”

 

“Of course.”

 

She took a sip and offered him the last. He emptied the bottle into his mouth, swirling the crisp, bubbly liquid over his tongue. She relaxed her head back onto his chest and sighed. Scully stretched her legs out in front of her and then pushed her feet into the cool sand, letting the grains slide between her toes. Her bottom wriggled in his lap. He felt his cock twitch with the stirrings of an erection.

 

Mulder wrapped his arms around Scully, hugging her into him and nuzzling between her ear and shoulder. The increased contact increased the blood flowing to his member, and now Scully felt his hardness against her lower back. She made a soft cooing sound and shifted into him. Mulder’s hands went to the hem of her dress, and he gathered it up slightly.

 

“Hike up your dress,” he whispered into her ear.

 

“Mulder. There’re people.”

“They’re far enough away. Just be quiet.”

 

That’s all the convincing it took. She shimmied her dress up to her hips, and bent her knees, then let them fall open, resting on his thighs. His long arm draped over her shoulder, down her body—his hand right at her center. His other hand was braced across her stomach. He rubbed her over the fabric of her panties until they became damp under his touch. She pressed back into him, mewling her pleasure.

 

Mulder skated his fingers into her underwear and rubbed her hot, wet flesh in the same way, but without the barrier. He slipped his middle finger inside her and caressed her inner walls. She rotated her pelvis, trying to graze her clitoris against the heel of his hand, but he purposefully kept it out of reach. He added two more fingers and pumped in and out, in and out. Her arousal swelled, and her sex became more slick. If it wasn’t for the gentle whooshing and lapping of waves on the shore he would be able to hear the moist sounds his fingers made as he fucked her cunt.

 

Her head fell back on his shoulder, exposing her neck to him. He nipped and sucked along the taut tendon. She panted, her expulsions of breath hanging in the damp mist around them. He dropped his wrist, finally resting his palm on her mons, and letting her grind herself against it, his fingers still working inside her.

 

Her breathing became harsh and fluctuating. He felt her pulse in his hand, and she clenched around his fingers. He eased out of her and palmed her dripping heat as she rode out her climax.

 

Scully turned to face him and knelt between his legs, her hands going straight to the waist of his tuxedo pants. Unbuttoning and unzipping him, she looked around, furtively. “Scoot your pants down.”

 

He chuckled. “Scully, that’s not going to be as discreet as what we just did.” He did as he was told, though.

 

Scully stood and stepped to the other side of his legs, her feet flanking his ass, her crotch level with his face. He breathed in deeply to smell the evidence of her orgasm. Once his pants were down far enough and his dick was exposed, Scully reached under her dress and pulled her underwear to the side. She lowered herself onto him, sitting in his lap, impaled by his cock, face to face.

 

He wasn’t sure how she was managing to ride him in this configuration—she had no leverage—or maybe it was an illusion, and the tightening and untightening of her vagina around him in this position just felt like she was. Her lips were parted and her brow furrowed in concentration. They looked into each other’s eyes until Mulder’s balls constricted, and he had to look away. The intense eye contact in conjunction with what she was doing with her pussy was too much. He butted his forehead into hers and grunted.

 

She threaded her fingers through his hair, scraping at his scalp, which evoked another sharp moan from him. The rough lace of her panties rasped along the base of his sensitive penis as she rocked her hips against him.

 

“Fuck.”

 

The word tumbled out of his mouth and landed on her lips. She returned it by pressing her mouth to his. They exchanged a couple of hot, dissonant breaths before Scully pushed her tongue past his lips. He sucked her in just as her cunt sucked his length up into her. He gripped her ass cheeks, desperately trying to stave off his orgasm.

 

Scully felt his struggle and withdrew her tongue from his mouth. “I’m almost there,” she whispered, and then: “pull my hair.”

 

Mulder barely registered the unusual command, but he managed to submit to it. He tangled his hand in her hair and tugged roughly. Scully gasped. He was afraid, in his excitement, he had been too forceful, but he saw the smile creep up on the corners of her mouth. He pulled again. She quickened the pace of whatever magic she was doing down there, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. His grip on her hair tightened as he came, and it pushed her over the edge. Her walls contracted around him and milked his throbbing cock.

 

“Sweet Jesus,” he heaved.

 

They held each other until he became soft inside her, and then continued well after. Mulder rubbed the back of Scully’s head, soothing where he had pulled. Scully was resting her head in the crook of his neck, making his skin damp with her close breath.

 

A pestering notion snuck through his post-coital bliss, and he tried to stop it is as soon as it materialized in his thoughts. The hair pulling, the tantric-like sex she had performed on him. It was all new for them, for him. His sated feeling shrunk like his dick as he fought against entertaining the unprovoked suspicions.

 

***

 

She ordered whiskey instead of wine which she had been doing more often since getting back from DC. It was just another cruel tie to Scully that she found herself holding onto.

 

As the first sip burned its way down she thought about Reed and how it was seeing her at the inquest. She knew it was silly to think she could avoid her. Reed had done the autopsy on Olson after all. They had only seen each other a few times after that night—the case breaking wide open, and her focus on it had made their almost-tryst and subsequent awkwardness seem so trivial.

 

They had spoke briefly at Laganside House after they had each given testimony. Reed apologized for not reaching out after the case, and Stella said she understood, which she did. So much had happened. Rose was found, and had to deal with the trauma in the aftermath. They both carried guilt for Rose’s abduction, and even though there was no blame between them they associated those feelings with each other. It marred whatever connection they had been forming.

 

Reed had been congenial, making affectionate gestures and touching her arm several times. Stella cringed as she remembered how rigidly she stood, non-reciprocating with the friendliness. She sensed Reed might have wanted another chance, and she felt badly for behaving so chilly toward her in an effort to discourage any expectations in that regard. The desire for her was still there, but Stella didn’t want feminine softness right now. It was too much like Scully. They were even both forensic pathologists, for fuck’s sake. No, she needed something different.

 

Something different was seated at the end of the bar. Stella had felt his eyes on her since she had arrived. She slid the rest of the fiery, amber liquid down her throat, and afforded him a look. The bartender approached her, and she indicated that she wanted another with her hand while keeping her gaze on the man whose dark eyes were locked with hers. He broke first (they always did) and smiled at her. The bartender poured her another double, and the man raised his glass toward her, toasting God knows what and thinking it made him look charming.

 

The raffish display almost made her abandon him as an option, but her need outweighed her pickiness. His chest was broad and filled out the crisp white shirt neatly, his muscular forearms exposed due to the rolled cuffs. His skin was a glossy ebony that seemed to glow as it reflected the dim lighting of the bar.

 

Stella didn’t return his cheers, but instead tossed her hair back with a flick of her wrist while maintaining eye contact as if to challenge him. She wasn’t sure if he accepted her challenge or simply saw it as an invitation, but he slipped off his stool and walked to the seat next to her. His suit pants were well-tailored and looked expensive. They fit him just right, and Stella was glad she gave him a pass for his ridiculous toast.

 

“May I?” he asked.

 

She nodded and took a sip of her drink.

 

“I’m curious. What did you toast to when you raised your glass at me?” questioned Stella.

 

“To your beauty, of course.”

 

“And you think I would want to drink to my own beauty?”

 

He smiled and lowered his chin in bemused embarrassment. Looking at her again, he acknowledged her logic and said, “Good point. May I try again?” He was English, his deep voice refined and proper.

 

She nodded again.

 

He lifted his glass between them. “‘Beauty is the only thing that time cannot harm. Philosophies fall away like sand, creeds follow one another, but what is beautiful is a joy for all seasons, a possession for all eternity.’ To beauty,” he said, then added, “in general.”

 

Stella pressed her lips together to hide an impressed grin that threatened at the corners of her mouth. She raised her glass to his and gave him his well-earned cheers. They drank.

 

“Quoting an Irishman whilst in Ireland. Clever.”

 

“Ah, you’re familiar with Oscar Wilde, then. No doubt a fan of Salome,” he remarked.

 

“‘It is not wise to find symbols in everything that one sees. It makes life too full of terrors.’”

 

“Damn, you’re good,” he said, smiling. He smiled a lot and easily. It was a nice smile, warm. Stella was not in the mood for nice.

 

“Although, I’m partial to another: ‘I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.’”

 

He chuckled. “Didn’t he mean man as in humankind?”

 

“No,” she said, a teasing smirk on her lips as she sipped her whiskey.

 

“So what is it that you do, Miss..?” he waited, hopefully, for her name.

 

“Stella,” she replied. “I’m a detective.”

 

“Oh dear. I hope your life isn’t too full of terrors.”

 

Stella didn’t respond. She was enjoying this intellectual sparring, but she had had enough of the chit chat. She drained the last of her drink and stood in the space between his knees.

 

“I’m in room 742,” she said, directly, and turned to leave.

 

“Marcus.”

 

She turned back and looked at him blankly.

 

“My name is Marcus.”

 

She crooked a brow as if the information didn’t matter, and it didn’t. Even though the conversation was pleasant, all she needed tonight was a body.   

 

About twenty minutes passed before she heard a knock at her door. She had changed out of her clothes, and put on her satin robe over her bra and panties. She kept it untied and open.

 

He had his jacket slung over his shoulder and was leaning, casually, in the doorway. His eyes flashed brightly as he saw what she was wearing. He smiled. Stella wondered if he could help it. She considered having him take her from behind so she wouldn’t have to see his grin the whole bloody time.

 

She took his coat from him and threw it over the back of the chair, and began unbuttoning his shirt. He slid his hands inside her robe and circled her waist. She didn’t normally let men freely touch her body, but she liked his hands. They were large and rugged which was unusual for a clean-cut businessman. She had noticed them in the bar when she looked for a wedding ring which she was now in the habit of doing in spite of herself.

 

Together they rid him of his shirt. Stella ran her hands over his chest, feeling the hardness of his pectoral muscles under his smooth skin. She tipped her face up to him and he leaned down to kiss her. Pulling back slightly, she toyed with his mouth with her lips and hot breath. When she felt his lips twitch to form another smile, she pressed hers against his, firmly, and then snuck her tongue between them.

 

He moved his hands from her sides to her breasts. Her first instinct was to stop him, but she really did like the way his hands felt on her. She let him cup and squeeze her, and she felt her nipples become stiff peaks beneath his palms.

 

Without breaking their kiss, Stella tugged at his belt and walked backwards toward the bed, pulling him with her. When the back of her legs hit the mattress, she pulled back. She pushed her underwear down her thighs and let them fall to the floor, and then unbuckled his belt. His pants fell easily off his hips, but had to be helped past his muscular quadriceps.

 

As he stepped out of them, Stella sat down and scooted to the middle of the bed, reclining onto her elbows. She had one leg out straight and the other bent, and she lazily swung her knee from side to side, teasing him with glimpses of her nakedness.

 

Her eyes drifted down from his face to his cock which strained against the material of his tight boxer briefs. She raised her eyebrows in a silent command for him to remove them. He obeyed, and surprised her by not expressing his mirth all over his face. He let her look at him, standing confidently at the foot of the bed. Stella admired his defined body, his chiseled abs, and his long penis that pointed toward its eventual destination in solid erectness. She felt heat in her chest and moisture between her legs as she anticipated taking in his length.

 

She reached back and grabbed the condom she had set on the nightstand, and tossed it to the end of the bed so he could put it on. Her clit throbbed as she watched him roll the latex over his shaft.

 

He crawled onto the bed toward her. Stella was glad that he didn’t ask for permission. He was so fucking polite, she had half-expected him to. Instead, he loomed over her, toothy smiles long gone. She could feel the warmth radiating off his skin, and she ached all over to feel his weight on her and his length filling her.

 

Stella reached down and gripped his cock, stroked it in her fist, and then guided it to her entrance. She rubbed his head against her, wetting the tip with her arousal. Releasing him, she put her hands on his ass to urge him closer. He pushed into her slowly, aware of his size and her petiteness.

 

Once he was buried inside her, Stella let herself have a moment to indulge in the feeling of fullness. He was pressed up against her cervix with amazing pressure. She lifted her hips slightly to increase the intensity of it. Her lips parted and she rolled her eyes shut as a rush of pleasure washed over her.

 

She tightened her pelvic muscles to spur him into motion, and he took the cue. His rhythm was slow to begin with, pulling all the way out of her before sliding back in with long, deliberate movements. The friction along her walls and the tension as he stretched her with each insertion worked her up quite quickly. She felt a warm tingle spread in her abdomen.

 

On his next push in, Stella wrapped her legs around him, causing him to thrust into her roughly and deeply. She gasped; he grunted. He looked down at her as if searching for guidance. Stella licked her lips and nodded. He resumed, but with more force and a quickened pace. She locked her legs like a vice, and could feel the sinewy muscles of his buttocks flex against her calves.

 

“Harder,” she breathed out.

 

He put his hands under her and grabbed her bottom, lifting her hips with him as rose to his knees. His hands deftly moved to grip her at her sides so he could pound into her with the vigor she wanted. She covered his hands with hers, his lovely hands, and rocked her hips in time with his. Soon the slapping of skin on skin was drowned out by a hollow whoosh in her ears as her orgasm crested. She was vaguely aware that he was coming, too.

 

He fell down beside her with a flop, and then felt around for her hand. He laced his fingers with hers. It was such a strange gesture, but she let him do it while she caught her breath. After a minute, he propped himself up on one elbow and brought her hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on her knuckles, like some prince in a fairytale. She looked at him, amused, and then gently pulled her hand from his.

 

Stella got up, wrapped her robe around her, and went into the bathroom to wash up. When she came out he was gone. The only evidence that he was there was the rumpled bedding and his masculine scent mixed with the smell of sex. She knew she gave off a detached vibe, but no man had ever read her that well. Usually she had to give a polite brush off.


As she got ready for bed, she spotted the hotel stationery had been moved on the desk. It had something scrawled on it. I’m in room 310 with a smiley face drawn underneath it. Stella, now in the comfort of her solitude, finally allowed herself to smile back.

Chapter Text

“Gosh, you are in a mood, Dana.”

 

“I am not.”

 

Scully huffed as she pushed the door to her apartment open with her hip. Margaret Scully followed her in, arms laden with grocery bags. Scully placed the bag she was carrying on the kitchen table and started to unload it. She could feel her mother’s scrutinizing gaze.

 

After a few moments she looked at her. “What?” she said with the petulance of a teenager.

 

Maggie just raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips as she helped Scully put away her groceries.

 

“Well, I was looking forward to going to church and brunch with you, Mom, not Father McCue.”

 

“I thought you liked Father McCue,” Maggie replied, even though she knew what her daughter meant.

 

“I do.” Scully let out a measured breath. “I just would’ve rather it be the two of us, is all. It’s fine.”

 

“Really, Dana, you’re getting more and more anti-social.” Scully shot her a look to which Maggie responded quickly, “It’s not a dig at your job or at Fox—just an observation.”

 

Scully let the comment go, but her level of irritation went up slightly. She wasn’t even really upset at her mother for inviting Father McCue without telling her; the brunch had been pleasant enough. Mostly, she was on edge because it had been two days since she had called Stella, and she hadn’t received a call back. Her mind had proceeded to jump to conclusions as one’s does in situations like this.

 

The last time they spoke Scully had unwisely told her she missed her. She knew immediately it was a mistake, but she didn’t think it would actually scare her off. Rationally, it could stand to reason that Stella was busy with her inquest in Belfast, and that’s why she hadn’t heard from her. Problem was, she didn’t really think rationally when it came to Stella. She acted upon feelings rather than sound judgment. Every hour that passed without the phone ringing further cemented Scully’s notion that she had royally screwed up, that Stella cared never to speak to her again.

 

Regrettably, she found herself taking her frustration at herself out on the people around her. Currently her mother was getting the brunt of it, but earlier Mulder had been the unfortunate recipient. The worst part of it was that she was aware of her behavior and felt unable to get it under control. It also made her feel needy and clingy which were characteristics she’d always abhorred.

 

Last night during their lovemaking, Mulder had slipped a finger in her ass. He did this occasionally, and Scully always enjoyed it. However, this was the first time he had done it since her affair with Stella, and the shame of that came flooding back with this physical reminder of her and Stella’s last and final fuck. The feeling hit her so forcefully, and she reacted without thinking, reaching back and knocking his hand away.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, breathlessly, voice full of concern.

 

Scully tried to hide her emotional panic. “Nothing. I’m just not in the mood for that.”

 

“Oh.”  

 

She started to resume her movements, but he pulled out and laid down beside her.

 

“Want me to be on top?”

 

“Scully, what’s going on?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I keep noticing little things—things like that, and, I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking it.” He didn’t finish his thought.

 

Scully prompted him, albeit with trepidation. “Overthinking what?”

 

“Things just feel different. The sex feels different. Not all the time, but-- it’s just ...different.” Mulder didn’t look at her throughout this.

 

“Well,” she started cautiously, “I am different. Something happened that caused a shift, so we’ve changed—adapted. I know I am the reason for that change, and that you didn’t get to have any say in it. I took that choice away from you, and I am sorry.” She kept hoping he would look at her. “It’s just an adjustment period.” Scully shrugged weakly. “I think,” she added in a softer and uncertain tone.

 

Finally, he looked at her. “How long am I going to feel like this?” he asked in the tiniest voice she had ever heard come out of him.

 

Now Scully looked away. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

 

Thinking about this and the possibility that she might never hear from Stella made her get more angry at herself. She had fallen for someone who just wanted her to be a fling, and she had hurt someone who loved her very much in the process.

 

“Dana? Where are you?”

 

Maggie’s questions cut through the fog of her muddled mind.

 

“Hm?”   

 

“Well, for one you are putting paper towels in the refrigerator.”

 

Scully looked down to see her mother was right. “Oh. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

 

“Want to talk about it? I can make us some tea.”

 

The phone rang, and Scully couldn’t hide her eager hopefulness. She went into the living room to answer it, and Maggie, spurred by her daughter’s facial expression, followed her. She was confused to see Scully’s face fall, slightly, when she heard it was Mulder on the other end.

 

“--fine. She’s here helping me unpack groceries.” She glanced up at her mother. “Mulder says ‘hi.’”

 

Maggie smiled broadly. “Hello, Fox.”

 

Scully stopped her eyes from rolling because it was sort of sweet. “She says ‘hi’ ...Okay...yeah...hmm-hmm...see you tomorrow.” She hung up feeling two ways. She was glad that Mulder was still in the cheery mood in which she had left him this morning, but she felt dejected that the caller wasn’t Stella.

 

After their botched banging from the night before, Scully had woken Mulder up with some morning head, hoping to soothe the wounds that had been reopened. It worked. What can she say, she gives a damn fine blow job. Last night had been a little hiccup, but they were still in a good place, moving forward and strengthening their bond. She had a little ways to go to rebuild his trust in her, but the outlook was bright.

 

“How about that tea?” Maggie asked, reupping her offer. She wanted to know what those reactions to the phone call were.

 

“No thanks, Mom. I have some stuff to do to get ready for the week.”

 

Maggie sighed. “All right.”

 

***

 

A pestering feeling nagged at Stella as she got ready for Grant’s party. She had such a difficult time settling back into her life after everything with Scully, much more difficult than she had anticipated. Stella had tried to distance herself, but felt silly when she thought about what she was distancing herself from—a friendship with someone with whom she had had a deep connection. Why would she push something like that away? The easy answer was that she just simply didn’t form relationships, so it was an unfamiliar and unsettling position in which to be. The more complicated explanation was that when her father died, her desire for any meaningful relationship had died with him. Scully had revived that want, and its presence terrified her. The loss of her father had nearly destroyed her, and she couldn’t bear the possibility of such a loss again. Feeling so deeply for Scully had brought back these fears that she was so sure she had conquered.

 

I’m brave enough to face it again, she thought as she gave herself a mental pep talk. I am also deserving of the happiness that comes with such a friendship. Stella was finally coming to this realization, and chided herself about her behavior. She had ignored Scully’s call, and had had no intention of calling her back. She had thought it best to sever all ties that made her feel, so she could go back to just sensory pleasures of the flesh and nothing more. She now knew it wasn’t fair to deprive herself anymore. And it wasn’t fair to Scully.

 

As Stella started to feel more like herself again, and began to grasp the concept of letting someone in while still being capable of maintaining her strong sense of self, she felt guilty for avoiding Scully. She had come back from Belfast buoyed by the closure of the Olson situation as well as the awkwardness that had befallen her and Reed. The anonymous sex she had had with the businessman had also given her a boost of self-confidence. He was the first person she had fucked since Scully, and it was a relief to get back on the horse, so to speak. And what a bloody good fuck it was.

 

Once she got home, she had coasted on these feelings, but not long after she felt something missing. The place that she had opened up and let Scully occupy (and then unsuccessfully tried to fill with other things) was still there—persistent and unavoidable.

 

She set down her hair dryer and picked up the phone.

 

“Hello?”

 

Stella had the impression that there was anxious expectation in Scully’s voice, and she felt a twinge of guilt and a touch flattered that she had an effect like that on her.

 

“Hi, Scully.”

 

“Hi!” she responded, way too enthusiastically.

 

“I’m glad I got you; the time difference can be quite tricky.”

 

“Oh yeah, it’s fine,” Scully said, being overly obliging. “It’s a fine time.” She put her palm to her face. What the fuck am I saying?

 

“Listen,” Stella began. “I want to apologize for not ringing you sooner. I must admit that I’ve been struggling since being back home, and I unfairly attributed it to you. I’m not used to relationships, relationships of any kind, really. It’s quite an adjustment, but one I’m not only willing, but wanting to make.” She said all of this calmly and confidently, although her stomach fluttered with nervousness.

 

“I completely understand, Stella. Thank you for your honesty.” Scully let out a silent sigh of relief.

 

“So what have I caught you in the middle of on a Sunday afternoon?”

 

“Well, I certainly wasn’t waiting by the phone or anything,” Scully laughed, now feeling at ease, and even more so when she heard Stella’s airy chuckle on the other end. “I’m folding laundry. Exciting stuff, I know. Mulder and I just got back from Los Angeles yesterday.”

 

“Filming more episodes of Cops ?” Stella joked.

 

“Actually, you’re not far off. They wrote a movie about us, er, about one of our cases, and we were invited to the premiere.”

 

“What?” Stella asked, surprised.

 

Scully felt herself flush. Her favorite thing to hear in Stella’s accent was the word, “what.” It wasn’t just the lilting huskiness of the single syllable, but that it implied she wanted to know something about her. Stella Gibson wanting further information on anything that had to do with her was thrilling in and of itself.

 

Scully groaned, “God, Stella, it was so terrible. I can’t even tell you.”

 

“I’ll have to see it when it comes out over here. What’s it called?”

 

“Don’t you dare.”

 

“That’s a strange title,” Stella teased.

 

“I’m not going to tell you,” she said, adamantly.

 

“That’s all right. I’ll figure it out. I’m a pretty good detective, you know.”

 

Scully groaned again. “Anyways,” she said, changing the subject, “how was your trip?”

 

“It went well. More smoothly than I expected. I’m relieved to be done with it.”

 

“I bet. I admit I read up on it. So tragic, for everyone involved. I’m sure it was very emotionally taxing.”

 

“Yes. It was definitely one of my most difficult cases,” Stella conceded. “Actually, I was in Belfast for something else, something that happened during the case, but wasn’t related to the case.” She paused. Although she felt closure with Olson’s death and her inopportune connection with it, Stella thought that an unburdening with a trusted friend might do her some good. Her mind flashed back to the affable doctor who had asked her if she had any real friends. She had answered that she had a few, but she was really exaggerating the levels of those friendships for the purpose of avoiding a pathetic response. Now she had a real friend that could unequivocally fit into that category.

 

Scully waited, sensing that Stella would continue. She wondered if she was collecting her thoughts or working up courage.

 

“I slept with an PSNI officer, another detective. He wasn’t on the Spector case. He was murdered the following night,” she said, almost clinically. “My relations with him became a matter of the investigation, and…” Stella hesitated. “He was married, had a child. My role in his adulterous decision came into question. Why hadn’t I asked if he was married and all that nonsense. I know that I’m not to blame, but with what happened with you and Mulder, I can’t help but think maybe I should put more responsibility on myself in these situations.” She sighed. “But then I feel weak for submitting to something that is held over women far too often.”

 

“I don’t think it’s your responsibility at all. The fact that you are stressing over it just shows how compassionate you are, how much you care.”

 

“Shhh, we don’t want that information to get out,” Stella joked. “I found myself checking for wedding rings just the other night. It has already become an involuntary thing.”

 

“Oh?” Scully said, encouragingly.

 

Stella just laughed, but it was a light, easy laugh.

 

“We may as well talk about these things. We are girlfriends, after all,” Scully reasoned.

 

This echoed Stella’s thoughts about her conversation with that doctor. Wasn’t she just reminding herself of this point?

 

“Well,” she said, her voice lowered conspiratorially, “he didn’t have a wedding ring, but he did have an enormous cock.”

 

Scully choked on her own breath and coughed. “Wow, okay,” she laughed.

 

“Too much?” Stella asked.

 

“I don’t know, you tell me. Was it?”

 

Stella cackled. It surprised them both. It had been a long time since someone had made her laugh like that, genuinely and naturally and heartily. Stella found things amusing or funny when flirting or bantering, but chatting with a girlfriend and being caught off guard with a raunchy joke was different. She welcomed it. And Scully did, too. She had heard Stella chuckle, titter, and even giggle, but this laugh was like angels heralding pure joy from heaven.

 

“Oh, you are cheeky,” Stella said, calming down after the unexpected laughter. “I like it.”

 

“All right, you want one in exchange?”

 

“Yeah, what have you got for me?”


“Mulder and I fucked on the beach.”

 

“Miss Dana Scully. I am impressed. Wait, a public beach?”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“Okay, good. A private beach isn’t as naughty,” informed Stella, matter of factly. “And how was it? Was it very From Here to Eternity with sand in your knickers?”

 

“It was pretty fucking great,” Scully replied. “No sand in any uncomfortable places, surprisingly.”

 

“Brilliant.” Stella looked at the clock. “Ah. I have to go. I’m going to this party. It’s my boss and his wife, and their dinner parties are so bloody dull.”

 

“Oh God, I’m sorry,” she empathized. “Thanks for calling, Stella.”

 

“Sure thing, mate.”

 

Scully’s grin was impossibly wide as she hung up the phone.      

Chapter Text

Stella took another large gulp of her wine. The alcohol was doing nothing to assuage her irritation at being caught in an inane conversation about-- it dawned on her that she hadn’t been following the gentleman’s ramblings. Something about his PR firm, perhaps?

 

Her attention was on the woman behind him. She had arrived with Detective Inspector Philip Dembry. They made an odd couple, if that’s what they were. She didn’t know much about Dembry outside of work. He was a stalky fellow with perpetually red cheeks—a bit bumbling, but a solid detective. She was currently heading the homicide case he had been assigned.

 

The girl he was with (she thought “girl” because she looked young, maybe mid-20s—could Dembry be that young, too?) looked tough and cool, like a modern day East End punk polished up for a stuffy, formal dinner party. She just didn’t quite go with Dembry and his ill-fitting suits and premature male pattern baldness.

 

Her eyes kept meeting the out-of-place young woman’s. She thought it was her preoccupation with the only interesting person in the room, but soon she realized that the girl was initiating most of their gazes.

 

“--and I says to Tucker, ‘The ‘Mericans are going to think you’re a right tosser if you are chuffed about that!’” The man who had been droning on at Stella laughed obnoxiously and nudged her elbow, bringing her attention back.

 

Stella stared at him blankly for a beat, and then offered a tight-lipped smile before simply walking away. She took the last sip of wine and sauntered up to Grant showing him that her glass was empty—something that needed to be rectified right away. He nodded and leaned over the guest he was chatting with to retrieve the bottle from the dinner table. Their conversation continued uninterrupted as Grant filled Stella’s glass.

 

She felt someone bump her from behind, and when she turned to see who it was, Dembry’s date was standing closely—intimately—next to her. The look in her eyes and the little squeeze she gave Stella’s forearm when she said “Oops! Pardon.” made the whole occurrence feel intentional, and that she was doing very little to hide that fact. Stella quirked her lips into a knowing smile. She watched her walk away towards the hallway that led to the washroom, her hips swaying the way they do when you’re young and confident, and are aware that someone is admiring them.

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Stella saw Marla approaching with a humorless-looking man in a burnt orange sweater vest that looked to be the texture of children’s craft felt. Her phone buzzed, mercifully, in the pocket of her slacks. Stella pulled it out and gave Marla an apologetic look before glancing at the screen—it was from the medical examiner’s office—and ducking out of the noisy dining room.

 

Stella stood at Grant’s desk in his office, jotting down the information the pathologist was giving her. As she thanked the ME for ringing, she saw the girl come out of the bathroom and poke her head towards the office door. When she saw Stella, she entered the room, flashing her a cheery grin. Stella looked down at her notes and ended her phone call. The girl was browsing the spines on the extensive built-in bookshelf that comprised two of the walls.

 

“Sorry to intrude, but it’s pretty brutal out there,” she said, still looking at the shelf, her head cocked to read the titles.

 

“You’re here with Dembry?” Stella asked.

 

“Yeah, but not like that. We’re each other’s beards. He was my date at this family thing, so I owe him,” she answered casually, tossing a look to Stella over her shoulder. “He’s not out, so mum’s the word, yeah? But, I can tell you don’t care,” she said, turning and taking steps towards the desk. “And that you can keep a secret.”

 

Stella nodded. “Of course.”

 

She held her hand out to Stella. “I’m Louise.”

 

Stella shook it. “St--”

 

“Stella Gibson. Philip told me.” She fiddled, nonchalantly, with a paperweight on the desk. “He also told me that you’re a proper good detective.” Louise now looked at Stella with charged regard. “Can I test you?”

 

Stella huffed out a small, skeptical laugh. “I suppose.”

 

“Okay, three truths and a lie. You ever play it?” She didn’t wait for an answer, but moved around the desk towards Stella, beginning her list of statements. “One, I want to kiss you. Two, you want to kiss me,” she said, dropping her breathy inflection and stepping closer. “Three, I took my panties off in the loo before coming in here.” Closer. “Four, I have green eyes.” Emerald orbs sparkled brightly—mischievously—back at Stella.   

 

“The lie is your eye color,” Stella responded promptly, unfazed.

 

Louise grinned. “But my eyes are so obviously green,” she teased with a laughing lilt to her voice.

 

“You’re wearing colored contacts,” Stella said. “What else are you lying about?”

 

“Why don’t you investigate,” she replied, leaning in and punctuating each syllable of the last word in Stella’s ear, her hot breath falling on her neck.

 

Stella put her hands on Louise’s shoulders and began to pat her down. She slid her hands underneath her arms, firmly caressing her torso and then down. She felt a soft bulge in the pocket of her satin bomber jacket. Stella reached in to see what it was. She pulled out a pair of black lace underwear, and let it hang delicately off her finger as she raised her eyebrows at Louise. She returned Stella’s look with a smirk that said “I told you so.”

 

Stella stuffed the lingerie back in Louise’s pocket and guided her by the hips to the darkened corner of the office, away from the view through the open door. They pressed into each other, and their moistened, ready lips met. Their tongues played together with a tentativeness that belied their mutual eagerness. Stella’s hands stayed solidly at Louise’s waist as Louise let her fingers roam and skim over Stella’s silk blouse. They kissed for a good while, Stella getting a couple of faint moans from Louise; then she worked her knee between Louise’s legs, parting them like she would if she was frisking a suspect.

 

Stella turned Louise around and took her hands, placing them on the shelf of the bookcase, wide and high. Louise got the hint to keep them there, and pushed her ass back into Stella as confirmation that she would comply. Stella’s hands ran down Louise’s arms to her breasts; she squeezed them and pinched the hardened nipples through the gauzy material of her flowy, bohemian dress. Louise arched her back to increase Stella’s attention at her chest.

 

One hand continued to fondle her tit while the other journeyed southwards to the hem that brushed against her bare legs, mid-thigh. Louise let out a hiss as she anticipated Stella’s touch under her dress, between her legs, where she was wet and aching. Her fingers delicately prodded at her tender, swollen folds, at first; then she felt Stella inside her—slow, pulsing movements going deeper and deeper.

 

Louise braced herself against the bookcase, fingertips grazing the vintage tomes on the shelf, rocking her pelvis into Stella’s hand. Another tweak of her nipple, and then Stella’s thumb was stroking her clit. Her fingers gripped the smooth wood of the bookshelf as her orgasm drew near, fluttering in her chest, then her belly—until the walls of her cunt were clenching around Stella’s fingers.

 

“Fuck!” she cried out in a ragged whisper.

 

Stella soothed Louise’s sensitive sex with her palm. Her other hand released her breast, and gingerly swept Louise’s silken chestnut hair aside. She placed her lips on her neck—not in a kiss—but faintly nestled there so she could breathe in the feminine scent of her and feel the softness of her skin.

 

Louise’s harsh breaths began to settle, and she felt tingly and warm in the spots where Stella was touching her. She sighed, bringing her hands down to a lower shelf and letting her head angle back towards Stella. They stayed that way until they heard someone exit the bathroom down the hall. Stella stepped back and looked around the room for a box of tissues. Louise offered the panties from her pocket. They looked at each other—a little sheepishly, but amused; Stella took the small scrap of lace and wiped her sticky fingers with it.

 

“We better get back out there,” Stella said, handing the underwear back.

 

“Yeah,” Louise exhaled. “I definitely got the better end of this deal with Philip. I’m fairly certain none of my family members gave him a hand job that night.”

 

Stella chuckled as she picked up her wine glass from the desk and followed Louise out towards the dining room.

 

The rest of the evening continued on in the usual boring way that the Crawford’s parties do, but Stella managed to get through it with a much better attitude. There were flirtatious, conspiratorial looks exchanged with Louise during dinner; and whenever Stella brought her wine glass to her lips she would smell Louise’s musk on her fingers, mixing with the bouquet of the oaky Cabernet Franc.

 

She made a prompt departure shortly after dessert was served, politely declining the after-dinner brandy. Stella nodded goodbye to Grant as Marla walked her to the door and retrieved her coat from the entry closet.

Chapter Text

Blue light from the TV made the sweat on their bare bodies look incandescent. For the last third of Caddyshack , Mulder and Scully had made out like horny teenagers. By the time the credits were rolling, their clothes were off, laying in crumpled heaps on the floor amidst fallen popcorn and beer bottle caps. Scully was sprawled out atop Mulder’s body, her head on his chest, brushing her fingers on the scar she had put there years before.

 

Mulder hummed contentedly. “I got my ‘peace on Earth’ after all.”

 

Scully propped her chin on her hand so she could look at him. “Tell me your third wish.”

 

“Why? You don’t believe it anyway.”

 

“C’mon, just tell me.”

 

“I set the genie free.”

 

“Aw, just like Aladdin. That’s really sweet, Mulder.”

 

He shrugged off her compliment.

 

“No, really. You were very selfless about the whole thing.” She leaned forward and kissed him.

 

“Well, Scully, I’m a giver,” he said, affecting a mock noble tone.

 

She giggled. “You are. That’s why I’m going to give you a bonus wish.”

 

He furrowed his brow at her.

 

“A sex wish,” she continued, sitting up. “Think of some fantasy that you have, and I’ll grant it for you.”

 

Mulder clapped his hands and rubbed them together, fiendishly. “Ooooh, Scully,” he taunted, eyes flashing. She smiled in return, unfazed by his playful teasing. She trusted him completely so no worries entered her mind. Actually, she was looking forward to hearing what he would come up with—he did have a very active imagination. Scully could tell he was already mulling over ideas.

 

“All right. Let me think a little. I want it to be just right.”

 

Scully pushed off him and stood up. “Take all the time you need.” She picked up his black t-shirt from the floor and slipped it on over her head. The hem came down to the curve of her ass. “C’mon, street rat, let’s go to bed.”

 

***

 

Mulder stirred the sauce in the pot on the stove. Scully had given him the easy task while she took a shower. Chicken was roasting in the oven. Mulder smiled to himself, noticing how domestic and normal it all was. The phone rang, and Mulder went into the other room to answer it, feeling so at home that the thought to not answer Scully’s phone never crossed his mind.

 

“Hello?”

 

There was a pause, and then “Mulder?” in that unmistakable British accent. He tensed, the easy, relaxed feeling from a moment ago gone.

 

“Yeah. Hi Stella.”

 

“Hi. I was just ringing to talk to Scully,” she said, painfully aware of the fact that this was obvious to both of them.

 

“She’s in the shower.” He hated how clipped he sounded. It wasn’t his intention to be short with her, but he was at a loss on how to behave with his lover’s ex-lover and current best friend—someone who he had fucked in the presence and at the insistence of his partner.

 

“Oh. I can ring back another time, then,” said Stella. There was an awkward silence. Stella wasn’t usually in the habit of feeling compelled to fill them, but she did here with him. “How are you, Mulder?”

 

Mulder sighed softly, though not loud enough to be heard through the line. He didn’t want to exchange pleasantries with her, and he knew she didn’t either. “I’m fine, doing well. And you? How are you, Stella?” He rolled his eyes at how fake he knew he sounded, and brought his fingers up to his brow, pressing against the tension building there. Scully walked in at that moment; wrapped in a robe, hair up in a towel. When he saw her, he tried to change his attitude to that of a cheerful one, but it was too late. She knew Stella was on the phone, and that Mulder was uncomfortable.

 

“Oh, hey, she just got out. Here she is,” he said, speedily. Mulder handed the phone to Scully, and mouthed the words “I’m sorry.” She watched, concerned, as he went back into the kitchen.

 

Scully sat on the sofa, thinking that if she went into another room it might look like she didn’t want him to hear any of their conversation. Everything was out in the open. This shouldn’t be awkward...but, it was.  

 

“Hi Stella.”

 

“Hey,” she breathed out, relieved to hear Scully’s voice. “Guess that was bound to happen sooner or later.”

 

“Yeah, it’s fine. He’ll be fine,” Scully said, mostly to reassure herself.

 

Mulder tried to focus on the sauce and block out Scully talking in the other room. He knew they spoke regularly. There was no reason for this to bother him, but it clearly did. He needed to get over it, and quickly, or he would probably say something rude or act like an ass. Things were so good with them lately, he didn’t want his neuroses and insecurities to ruin it.

 

“I don’t know. It’s sort of like a date, I guess,” Stella was saying. She sighed. “I don’t date.”

 

“We went on a date,” Scully reminded her.

 

“You’re different, though, aren’t you?”   

 

Scully blushed, glad that both Stella and Mulder couldn’t see her face. She loved being someone special to Stella. She knew Stella did not let people in easily or often, so to be that rare person that was allowed access meant a lot. It reminded her of her first case with Mulder. He was also closed off, so untrusting of everyone—of her. That night, in a candlelit motel room, he had opened up to her; he told her the story of his sister, and she felt the same feeling she was feeling now.

 

***

 

Stella stood outside of the theater and contemplated leaving for the third time. Why did I agree to this? she asked the redhead glowing at her from the illuminated movie poster.

 

“Oi! Stella!”

 

Stella turned at the sound of her name and saw Louise walking towards her. She regarded the poster that Stella had been looking at.

 

“I can’t believe you want to see this. It looks lame as fuck.”

 

Stella shrugged. Louise looped her arm with Stella’s and tugged her towards the ticket kiosk. “Two for The Lazarus Bowl , please,” she said. Stella reached for her purse, but Louise stopped her. “My treat. I asked you out,” she reasoned.

 

Once they were inside, Louise continued her chattering. Stella wondered if she was nervous or if she was this talkative by personality. She didn’t seem to mind Stella’s quiet, observant manner, although she did make a face when Stella declined her offer for refreshments. “How do you even watch a film without popcorn?”  

 

Stella learned that Louise worked at a pub in Islington, had two older brothers, and shared a flat with a guy who was attending clown college. She listened to the details of her colorful life, and didn’t offer much in response. Louise mostly talked about herself, but occasionally asked Stella questions which were met with short, perfunctory answers.

 

As the movie played, Stella realized that both Scully and Louise were correct in their criticisms—it was indeed terrible and lame as fuck. The actress that played Scully was quite beautiful, but she lacked that unique Scully-ness that she knew was impossible for even the most talented mimic to capture.

 

During the boring bits, of which there were many, Stella would close her eyes and picture Scully. She tried to pass off her urge to see the movie as just an innocent curiosity, but she knew it was more than that. Talking on the phone was great, but she missed seeing her, touching her, being in her presence. Obviously, some Hollywood version of her Scully was an inadequate substitute, but her wistfulness had gotten the better of her.

 

The on-screen Mulder and Scully had started kissing—in a coffin, of all places. Watching it made her uncomfortable in a way she didn’t understand. Maybe because it felt like she was being inconsiderate to Louise by obsessing over her feelings about someone else. Or it could be the image of Mulder and Scully together brought back little pangs of jealousy. She needed a distraction before her anxiety built even more.

 

Stella looked over at Louise who was all but yawning, staring at the screen, eyes glazed over with disinterest. She felt Stella’s gaze and looked at her. Louise couldn’t read the expression on her face, so she smiled and playfully threw some of her popcorn at her. That got her a return smile, something she was learning was a rare occurrence.

 

Stella reached over and placed her hand on Louise’s knee, caressing the soft skin with her thumb. Louise responded by sinking into her seat and slightly parting her legs. Stella’s hand inched higher to her thigh.

 

Louise leaned over and whispered, “This shite turns you on, eh?” nodding towards the screen.

 

“No, I’m just so fucking bored.”  

 

Louise grinned, and shifted in her seat again, a gleam in her eye encouraging Stella to continue. She watched as Stella’s hand disappeared under her dress, mentally patting herself on the back for deciding against wearing pants.

 

Stella’s fingers met cotton, and she rubbed her over the fabric. Louise brought her small popcorn tub to her lap to conceal what they were doing. Stella felt Louise’s panties begin to dampen, and she pushed it aside to finger her hot entrance. Louise sunk deeper in her chair, seeking more contact. Stella slipped her middle finger inside and pumped in and out several times before adding her ring finger. The heel of her hand rested on her mons, and Louise brought her own hand to her crotch and pushed down on Stella’s to increase the pressure there.

 

Stella glanced up at the screen just as it cut to a close-up of the Scully character. She shut her eyes and summoned an image of her Scully to her mind. Her clit throbbed and she felt wetness at her center. She pressed her thighs together.

 

God, this is perverse, she thought. I’m fingerfucking one girl, looking at another, all while fantasizing about someone else.

 

She was in too deep to stop it now, though—knuckle-deep to be precise. Stella opened her eyes. It looked like the movie was close to ending. Louise seemed to be close, too. Her eyes were closed, brow furrowed in concentration, and her lips were parted. Stella brought her slick fingers to Louise’s clit and massaged her with firm, circular movements. Louise’s grip on her popcorn tightened and crushed the cardboard in her hand. She lifted her hips as her whole body went tense under her climax. Stella continued to rub her, but softer and gentler to bring her back down.

 

Stella quickly removed her hand from Louise’s lap as the credits started to roll and people began to get up from their seats.

 

“You ready?” Stella asked. She chuckled at the sight of Louise who still looked a little gobsmacked.

 

“Fuckin’ Christ, woman.”

 

They made their way through the exiting crowd. Louise had once again linked their arms, keeping their bodies close together.

 

“That’s twice you’ve fingered me in public," Louise said in a low voice. "When do I get to return the favor?"

 

“I’m sure we can arrange something.”

 

“I’m famished. Let’s get something to eat,” suggested Louise once they were outside. “There’s a good chip shop around the corner—unless you’re too posh for the chip shop,” she teased.

 

“Oh, fuck off,” scoffed Stella. “Let’s go to the bloody chip shop.”

Chapter Text

“Handcuffs?”

 

Mulder bit his lip, nervously.

 

“Like S&M?” Scully asked.

 

“Well, not so much, but you wear the handcuffs and I’m the top—the one in charge.” Mulder’s cheeks tinged pink.

 

Scully noticed, but she was enjoying watching him squirm. “Do I call you ‘Master’ or what?”

 

“No, no,” he hesitated, thinking. “Maybe ‘Sir?’”

 

Scully slowly nodded.

 

“Jesus, Scully, you’re killing me here.”

 

She couldn’t contain her grin any longer. “I’m sorry, Mulder. I just love your panic face so much,” she laughed.

 

“You are cruel, Scully,” he said, shaking his head. “Wait, does that mean that you’re into it?”

 

“Oh yeah,” she purred, wrapping her arms around his waist.

 

“Really?”

 

“Hmm hmm, it sounds so hot.” Scully nipped at his neck. “I’m wet just thinking about it,” she said into his ear in a high, breathy voice, before erupting into giggles.

 

“Hey now,” he said, realizing that she was teasing him. “You know, that kinda thing could get you a spanking.” Mulder moved his hands to her ass and squeezed.

 

She hummed against his chest, and tilted her chin up to him. “Promise?”

 

He kissed her lips softly. Scully deepened their contact until Mulder reached behind his back and broke her embrace. He pushed her away. “Any more of that and I’ll take you right here on this desk, Agent Scully.”

 

She smiled slyly at him. “You realize that just encourages me.”

 

He adjusted the crotch of his trousers and gave her a warning look.

 

Scully put her hands up in surrender. “All right, all right.” She couldn’t help toying with him. The reveal of his wish had made her happy. Scully thought him being in control was a great idea after everything they had just been through. It might boost his confidence. And she did think the whole thing was pretty hot. It was new and exciting, and made her a little bit nervous, but in a good way.

 

“Actually, that was my second choice,” he said.

 

“What?”

 

“Sex on our desk. In the office.”

 

Her breath caught in her throat at his use of the word “our.” He said it so naturally, so easily. Her eyes stung, threatening to tear up. She scoffed at herself for getting emotional over something so silly. But the thing was, it wasn’t silly. Their argument over this desk all those years ago had brought up deeper issues that had forced them to examine their relationship and where that relationship was headed. They didn’t deal with those feelings very well at the time, but they had been working on it, together and individually, ever since.

 

She cloaked her sentimentality in a flirtatious response. “Good to know,” Scully said, raising a devious eyebrow at him.

 

They stared at each other for a long beat, color blossoming on Mulder’s cheeks again.

 

“So, uh,” he said, looking at the open files on the desk, “you wanna cut out early today?”

 

“Yep,” Scully answered immediately, going to the coat rack to gather her things.


***

 

“Can I come over tonight after work?”

 

Stella bristled at Louise’s forwardness.

 

“I have something—a surprise,” Louise continued, filling Stella’s silence.

 

“What time?” she said finally.

 

“I dunno. 10-ish?”

 

“Yes. All right.” Stella acceded.

 

“Brilliant! See you then.”

 

Stella pushed end on the phone. She wasn’t sure how she felt about this. This would be their third night in a row seeing each other. They had had their dinner and a movie date. Louise went down on her in the bathroom of the chip shop. Last night Louise had brought over takeaway. They chatted over kebabs and then fucked on the kitchen floor. Each date was mostly sexual in nature, but Louise’s familiarity concerned her; it was a bit too companionable, too close. Maybe she would broach the subject with her tonight.

 

***

 

Mulder fingered the silk of the bondage restraints on display. He grabbed a package that had a set of two in black and made his way to the counter.

 

It was a strange feeling to be in this sex shop again, and to actually be buying something he would be using with someone else. Mulder had frequented the video section here many times, but only ever bought stuff for him to get off to solo. Except for that time he bought Scully a vibrator as a joke for Christmas. He liked to imagine that they got off on that one together, in a way—her using it at home and him masturbating to the thought of it. She had gotten him a gag present that year, too: a Japanese octopus porn video. It was so obvious that they were meant to be together, but it still took some time, even after that gift exchange.  

 

Mulder hadn’t been able to wipe the smile off of his face since they had left the office that afternoon. Scully had agreed to his kink, and quite readily, too; although she had made him sweat for a minute there. In fact, she had even seemed amenable to sex at work, which had always been off-limits since they had started sleeping together.

 

Her eagerness helped alleviate his anxiety about his suggestion. Mulder had thought a lot about what fantasy he would propose. They had actually done quite a lot—sex in public, ass play...a threesome. Their night with Stella was, at the time, everything he could’ve hoped for from his wildest dreams, but he was still struggling to come to terms with everything that happened after. Was that one night of passion worth the heartache that had followed?

 

Mulder had considered the things they hadn’t done that he would like to do: watch porn together (maybe not that tentacle one, though), some sort of role play, and the sex at work. He kept the handcuff idea in the back of his mind, not willing to admit he wanted to do it. The implication that he wanted to control Scully bothered him. Scully had made it clear, rightfully so, that her life is her own and that she belongs to nobody. He had been selfish about this in the past, but was trying to do better, to be better. If he requested this from her would he be asserting power over her? She had said his wish could be anything, but would this be taking advantage?

 

He had wrestled with these thoughts incessantly over the past couple days. Bondage sex, even in its mildest form which he was proposing, requires trust. His trust in her had cracked when he learned about the affair with Stella. Maybe this was a way towards repairing that. She would have to completely trust him if this was going to work, if they were both to get enjoyment out of it which was the goal, but he would also have to trust her—trust that she was submitting to him out of love and not out of guilt.

 

***

 

Louise stood at the kitchen island, hands in the pockets of her slacks, looking confidently at Stella as she poured them each a glass of wine. Stella handed it to her and Louise placed it on the counter without taking a sip. Stella regarded her curiously as she brought her own glass to her lips. Louise was practically leering at her. She stepped to Stella, taking the wine from her and setting it down before pressing her lips against Stella’s. Louise brought her hands to the back of Stella’s neck and gripped her firmly, making the kiss somewhat aggressive. It caught Stella off guard at first, but then it aroused her, and she opened her mouth to Louise’s prodding tongue.

 

Louise tasted her, drank her in; she sucked her lower lip into her mouth. Her hands moved down to grab Stella by the waist and she grinded her hips into her. Stella made a startled gasp and pulled back.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Your surprise.”

 

Stella looked at her with confused fascination as Louise unclasped the fly of her pants. She shimmied them down her hips, and Stella saw an electric blue dildo spring up. It was affixed to Louise’s pelvis with thick black straps. Louise stepped out of her pants while watching Stella’s reaction.

 

It took a lot to shock Stella, but this certainly did. She opened her mouth to say something, but couldn’t think of a response. The whole thing turned her on, but she just stood, frozen in her astonishment.

 

Louise took Stella’s hand and guided it down to grip the shaft. They stroked it; Stella could feel the ridges and the veins of the life-like mold.

 

“You don’t give guys blow jobs, do you?” Louise said with a cavalier seductiveness.

 

Stella turned her nose up, defiantly. “No.”

 

“Do you want to give me a blow job?”

 

Louise ran the pad of her thumb along Stella’s moist bottom lip, locking her in a heated gaze with her eyes. Stella became light-headed with desire and nodded her head assentingly.


***

 

“On your knees.”

 

Scully, naked with her hands cuffed behind her back, slowly lowered to her knees. Mulder stood before her in just a pair of jeans. He unbuttoned them and slid them down his legs, his erection bobbing just inches from her face.

 

“Look at me,” he commanded. She did, and he put his finger under her chin. “Keep eye contact with me. Do you understand?”

 

Scully nodded, transfixed by his stern stare and the smell of him.

 

“I said ‘Do you understand?’”

 

“Yes, sir,” she answered, remembering the response they had agreed on.

 

“Take me in your mouth.”

 

Scully licked her lips and closed them around the head of Mulder’s penis. She swirled her tongue around his tip before taking more of his length in. He let her set the pace at the start. Then he brought his hands to her head and gently tousled her hair. He often did that, but with an intention not to assume authority of her movements.

 

Tonight was different, though.    

 

He put more pressure on her head and thrusted towards her. She was looking at him just like she was told. He questioned her with his eyes, making sure she was okay. Scully’s eyes sparkled playfully back at him. Their unspoken communication spurred him to continue.

 

Scully was one of those women who enjoyed performing fellatio. There was something incredibly erotic that came with the power to reduce men to a quivering mess with just your mouth. Although the sex act was the same, it became entirely different with Mulder holding the reins. Rather than her being in control of his pleasure, he was taking it from her—fucking her mouth. And to her surprise she liked this just as much—because it was Mulder, she suspected. If any other guy had attempted this with her he wouldn’t have had a dick to speak of afterward. She also guessed that she wouldn’t have been too thrilled with Mulder if he had tried it early on in their sexual relationship; they had to work to get where they were today. She knew Mulder wasn’t trying to assert power over her and that he trusted her to stop him if she wanted to.

 

Scully was able to roll her tongue over his head a couple of times, and the sensation made Mulder buck his hips harder. Mulder saw Scully’s eyes go wide. She swallowed, barely suppressing her gag reflex. Mulder eased up, and stroked her cheek with his thumb, then pulled out of her mouth and leaned down to kiss her. He could feel her swollen lips under his, wet and warm. He soothed them with his tongue. When he stood back up, she was panting, trying to catch her breath, still looking at him.

 

“You didn’t have to stop, Mul--”

 

He shushed her with his finger to her lips.

 

***

 

Stella was dealing with her own loss of control. The flesh of her moistened lips stuck to the tacky rubber of the dildo. She gathered saliva on her tongue to lubricate it, and once it was slick enough she took it deeper. Louise tangled her fingers in Stella’s hair, encouragingly.

 

There was something arousing in relinquishing control. Stella was always in charge when it came to sex with both men and women. She felt a sense of freedom doing this with Louise. Maybe dominating every sexual encounter inhibited her experiences at times. Even so, she couldn’t imagine ever doing this to a man—it would give them too much satisfaction. On a woman, though, that was another story.

 

Stella looked up at Louise. She was smiling. “Good girl,” she said, and Stella felt wetness between her thighs.

 

Louise pulled the dildo from Stella’s mouth. “I want to fuck you with this.”

 

Stella licked her tender lips and nodded.


“You want me to fuck you with my cock?”

 

She nodded again. Christ, what is this girl doing to me? she thought. But even as she was embarrassed by her submissiveness, her cunt throbbed in anticipation. She did want Louise to fuck her with her cock. Badly. She wanted it right now.   


***

 

“Stand up and turn around.”

 

Scully obeyed. Mulder unlocked one of the handcuffs, letting them dangle off her right wrist.

 

“Get on the bed. On your back.”

 

Once she did, he straddled her stomach, his hard cock, moist with her saliva, resting between her breasts. Mulder looped the cuffs through the slats of her headboard and secured them, again, to her other wrist. He moved down her body, kissing and licking as he went, flicking and teasing her nipples with his fingers. She shuddered underneath him.

 

He returned to kiss her mouth, sticking his tongue in hers and massaging the inside of her lips, her cheeks. Scully moaned. He nibbled his way down her jawline to behind her ear, and then to her neck and sucked at the soft skin.

 

“Mulder, no hickies,” she warned, forgetting their roles.

 

He sat up. He was calm, but imposing. “I will mark you if I want to. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Oh hell, that’s what turtlenecks are for, Scully thought, grateful that he had returned his attention back to her body. He latched back onto her neck, the heat and suction of his mouth made her writhe with pleasure. His hands played with her tits, kneading and stroking. Her clit ached to be touched. She struggled against the metal restraints above her head.

 

Mulder got up off the bed and walked to the closet. He retrieved the silk bondage ties from his overnight bag. Scully, her body cold from the loss of his warmth, shivered. He dangled the ties over her stomach, the silk skimming against her sensitive skin. Mulder took his time tying her ankles to the footboard of the bed. Satisfied with his knots, he crawled back up on top of her, his face hovering closely above hers.

 

“Do you want me to fuck you?”

 

“Yes, sir,” she rasped, desperately.

 

“Say it.”

 

“Fuck me. Please. I want you to fuck me.”

 

Mulder ran the tip of his dick up and down her slippery folds. She was so wet for him. He entered her slowly, watching her face. Her lips were parted, expelling shallow breaths; her eyes rolled up and the lids fluttered shut as he bottomed out deep inside her. He pulled back and began pumping in and out of her. Scully tried to meet his thrusts, but being tied down made it difficult. She gave up trying, and let him plow into her over and over, making them buck up and down on the mattress, the wood of the bed frame creaking. His cock felt so good inside of her, thick and pulsing; filling her, stretching her, making her whole body buzz with desire. She curled her toes and her abdomen flooded with warmth; her orgasm was building. Mulder looked close, too. His face was damp with sweat, jaw clenched in concentration, determined. He watched her breasts bounce with the vigor of his movements. Then they made eye contact, and he could see her silent plea to push her over the edge.

 

***

 

“Come for me.”

 

Stella was riding Louise at this point. She was in her lap, the dildo deliciously rubbing against the walls of her pussy. Louise’s hands gripped the flesh of Stella’s ass. She was letting Stella control the action, but she was still in charge. Stella kept looking to her for approval throughout, and it was making her crazy. She was going to come from just that. This powerful woman who could make men cry with a blank look had sucked her off and was now letting her fuck her with a fake dick.

 

The harness of the strap-on pressed against her clitoris, and she urged her again: “Stella, come for me. Come all over my cock.”

 

“Yes, yesss,” hissed Stella. “Oh my Go--” She went silent—waves of her climax washing through her.

 

Louise pushed up into her, making the toy brush her clit once more. She came, holding Stella quivering in her arms.

 

***

 

“That was incredible.”

 

Mulder caressed Scully’s wrists with his fingers; her delicate skin was marked with raw reddened splotches. “ You were incredible,” he insisted.

 

She wiggled her hands from his and hugged him, pulling him to lie back on the bed with her.

 

“Can I try it some time?” she asked. “You know, be the top?”

 

“Fuck yeah, Scully. I’ll be your sex slave anytime,” Mulder answered. “It’d be a goddamned honor.”

 

She snuggled happily in his embrace, and he squeezed her closer, tighter. Scully fell asleep quickly, and Mulder fought against his drooping eyelids to watch her in this contented, peaceful state as long as he could.

 

***

 

She awoke with a start. Out of impulse Stella reached to her nightstand for her dream journal that was no longer there. She didn’t keep one anymore. Her dream had been an ungodly mix of terror and catastrophe. In it, she choked the life out of Paul Spector with her bare hands, and she and Scully were in a terrible car crash. She sat up, chest tight with anxiety, trying to decipher what it could mean as the images faded from her mind and her memory of it faltered.

 

The bed shifted as Louise turned over in her sleep. She had forgotten that she let her spend the night. Once again their time together ended up centering around sex. That’s really all Stella wanted out of it so she was confused why this concerned her. Perhaps the camaraderie she developed so quickly with Louise reminded her of what she had with Scully, and what she was missing from that in their arrangement as friends. Louise was so unlike Scully, but still her time with the younger woman kept sparking in her painful little notions of loss.

 

She watched Louise sleep, her features soft in the blue-gray light that filtered through the window as the day began to dawn outside. The last time she did this was in Scully’s bed. She had memorized the lines of her face—the graceful slope of her nose, her jawline. Stella calmed her nerves to the memory of Scully’s chest lightly rising and falling with her idle breath, feeling a twinge of guilt for calling up an image when Louise was right there by her side.

Chapter Text

Stella was in her office going over CCTV footage that her team had gathered for her when she heard the commotion from the bullpen. Through her window she saw Dembry punch Detective Inspector Brooks hard on the jaw. Brooks fell back onto his desk, nearly knocking over a computer monitor. She rushed to her door, opened it, and looked at the men for an explanation. Dembry stared at her, his usual red face even redder. Brooks was rubbing his cheek, looking at her with guilty little sideways glances. The other detectives milling about all pretended to be suddenly interested in something else, avoiding their superior’s disapproving frown.

 

Dembry looked as though he was going to say something to her, but then stalked off angrily. Brooks stood, adjusted his jacket, and then skulked off as well. Stella put her hands on her hips, and shook her head out of annoyance, returning back into her office. She would talk to them once they cooled off.

 

***

 

“She’s my boss, Louise.”

 

“So?”

 

She was drying shot glasses with a dingy rag. Dembry sat at the bar looking at her with exasperation.

 

"And you told her I was gay?"

 

"Yeah, sorry, mate," she said, remorsefully.

 

He rubbed his face with his hands.

 

“What exactly did this guy say?” Louise asked.

 

“Fuckin’ Brooks,” he seethed. “Said he saw you two out together, and asked me what I thought about my boss fucking my girlfriend.”

 

“But I’m not your girlfriend.”

 

“Bloody Christ, Lou, I know. Ever since Crawford’s party, though, everyone thinks...I haven’t confirmed it or anything. I just thought the rumors would die down and everyone would forget about it.”

 

She gave him a sympathetic look. “Wanna drink?”

 

“I shouldn’t. I have to get back,” he declined, glumly. “Ah, sod it, gimme a pint.”

 

She filled a glass with dark amber liquid from the tap.

 

“So you’re shagging DSI Stella Gibson, eh?” sighed Dembry, resigned but impressed.

 

“Who said anything about shagging? We’re just hanging about.” She shrugged nonchalantly, but averted her eyes. She felt bad about lying to him, but she had the distinct impression that Stella might not appreciate her talking about their activities, especially to someone she worked with.

 

Dembry narrowed his eyes at her, skeptically. He didn’t quite believe her; he had known Louise for a long time. She liked to fuck around. “Funny, I don’t see anyone just being mates with her. As an inspector I find her a bit scary, but as a gay man, well, I still find her a bit scary,” he chuckled, “but bloody fabulous.”

 

“I know, right? She’s so posh.”

 

“God,” Dembry groaned in agreement, “she fucking is.”

 

“Think you’ll be in trouble when you go back?”

 

“Most likely. The arsehole probably already filed a complaint.”

 

“I can’t believe you hit him,” she said, grinning. “Wait, whose honor were you defending? Mine or hers?”

 

“Dunno. Both? Mine? He deserved it.”

 

***

 

Stella stepped into Grant’s office and sat down. The grave look on his face had her on guard.

 

“The Assistant Commissioner has asked me to take you off this case,” he stated, dismally.

 

“What?” Stella said, shocked.

 

“Brooks filed a complaint against you.”

 

“Against me?”

 

Grant sighed. “Are you aware of an incident between him and Dembry?”

 

“Yes. I don’t know what it was about, but I saw Dembry strike Brooks. I was going to talk with both of them when Dembry got back.”

 

“Apparently Brooks made a comment about you sleeping with Dembry’s girlfriend—he saw the two of you together.”

 

Stella felt pressure in her chest, but kept her composure calm. She crossed her arms and sat back in the chair. “How exactly does that justify a complaint against me, Grant?”

 

“It doesn’t, Stella,” he said, commiseratingly. “Brooks has it out for you, you know that. And I just learned of another incident with some American FBI agent.”

 

Stella looked at him questioningly.

 

“It was also about you. The agent cold-cocked Brooks,” Grant said with some satisfaction. “Are you familiar with an FBI agent?”

 

Stella’s head was swimming. “Y-yes.” She started to put some of the pieces into place. Mulder had been here while she was in DC. Stella brought the conversation back to the matter at hand. “I don’t see what any of this has to do with me heading this case.”

 

“Quite right. See, Brooks knew I wouldn’t take his grievance seriously, so he went over my head to Assistant Commissioner Davies. And Davies was still fuming over the thing with DI Olson.”

 

Stella rolled her eyes and shook her head.

 

Grant continued cautiously, “He said he’s tired of your sex life bungling these cases.”

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, Stella.”

 

“This is ridiculous.”

 

“It is. Brooks and Davies are cut from the same cloth. Brooks knew what he was doing. I’d’ve liked to have had him removed from the case once I learned about what he said to the American agent, but by then he had already spoken to Davies.”

 

Stella stood and paced. “So that’s it? Nothing can be done about it?”

 

“I tried, Stella. I really did,” said Grant. “I’ve got something developing in North Wales—Bangor—might be sending you to do a review there.”

 

She took a measured breath and nodded stiffly.

 

***

 

Dembry knocked lightly on Stella’s office door and opened it when he heard her tell him to enter.

 

“Ma’am? May I have a moment?”

 

She motioned for him to sit. He shut the door behind him and sat across from her.

 

“I heard what happened, and I’m awfully sorry.”

 

“Why are you sorry, Dembry?”

 

“Well, none of this would’ve happened if I’d had kept my cool. Especially with an utter knob like Brooks,” he scoffed.

 

Stella smiled imperceptibly. “That’s true, but you’re not to blame.”

 

“Ma’am?”

 

“Brooks and his ilk are at fault,” she said pointedly. “Do me a favor and focus on this case. You’ll have to make up for his shortcomings. Don’t get distracted by his hate.”

 

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you, ma’am.” Dembry got up, but hesitated before going to the door. He had been surprised by how gracious she had been. “Ma’am, I know this is none of my business, but are you and Louise..?” he trailed off. “I just sort of look like a pathetic wanker here.”

 

“You’re right,” she said cooly. “It’s none of your business.”

 

He nodded and smiled at her sheepishly before turning to leave.

 

“Dembry, don’t be ashamed of who you are. Men like Brooks should be ashamed. Understand?”

 

His ruddy cheeks flushed scarlet. “Yes, ma’am.”

 

***

 

“The night manager at the pub, Sully, he’s this really big bloke, all muscley and tatted; I say we send him to this guy Brooks, and you know,” Louise said, pounding her fist into her palm.

 

Stella smiled at that thought as she dished them each out some lo mein from a white paper takeaway container. Louise took her plate and started eating. Stella set down the carton and became pensive. “We’ve created an impossible situation for Dembry,” she said, dolefully.

 

“He’ll be fine. I’ve told him he should just come out anyway.”

 

“No, I understand his apprehension. Law enforcement is filled with toxic masculinity. There’s a certain benefit to putting parts of yourself aside in order to focus on the work, and so those with narrow minds can as well.” She took a sip of her wine. “Maybe my sex life does complicate things too often. People seem to keep getting hurt or compromised.”

 

Including me, Stella thought.

 

Louise frowned sympathetically, but remained silent. She twirled curly noodles onto her chopsticks.

 

“Along those lines, can we be clear about what is going on here?” Stella asked.

 

Louise looked up at her, nonplussed.

 

“I’m not looking for anything beyond sex,” stated Stella. “Are you all right with that?”

 

“Yeah, ‘course,” Louise answered, assuredly.

 

“To be entirely honest, I’m a bit hung up on someone,” Stella said, being uncharacteristically open. “I can’t quite reconcile my feelings about it.” Her eyes drifted from Louise to some far off point, glazing over with a thoughtful weariness.

 

Louise sat chewing her lip, watching her; she was taken aback by Stella’s tender demonstrativeness, and didn’t know how to respond. Stella finally shook her head as if to bring herself out of this melancholic stupor, and sighed deeply before taking another sip of wine. She hadn’t touched the dinner in front of her.

 

Louise leaned over and put her hand on Stella’s, and gave it a little squeeze in an attempt to offer some comfort. Stella smiled softly, appreciatively.

 

***

 

“God, that’s awful, Stella. I’m so sorry,” said Scully after hearing Stella recount her eventful day at the office.

 

“I felt like I was close, too—that I could’ve done some good on this case.”

 

“Yeah, of course.”

 

“It is what it is,” sighed Stella.

 

“We have an evaluation tomorrow morning. I think they’re going to try to shut us down again,” related Scully.

 

“Well, I hope you have better luck than I.”

Chapter Text

Stella dialed Scully’s home number, her heart beating fast with worry. Scully’s voice in the message she had left earlier sounded so fragile, like she was on the verge of tears. She had said that something had happened and she needed to talk. Stella left a quick message when Scully’s machine picked up, and then tried her cellular number, but got the voicemail there, too.

 

She tried to keep the panic at bay as she looked for their office number.

 

“Agent Chapman,” answered a gruff voice.

 

“May I speak to Agent Scully, please?”

 

“I’m sorry, that’s not possible.”

This response confused and bothered Stella. “Agent Mulder then?”

 

“You’ll have to talk to Agent Crane if you have information on Agent Mulder’s whereabouts.”

 

“Wha-- his whereabouts?”

 

“You want me to direct you to the task force’s hotline, ma’am?” asked the agent, impatiently.

 

“No. No, thank you.” She hung up.  

 

Stella logged into Interpol on her computer. Her heart sank lower as each search produced nothing. What was going on? There wasn’t much she could do besides wait for Scully to call back, but she tried her cell one more time just in case.

 

No answer.

 

***

 

Scully gingerly got out of bed, securing her hospital gown behind her. Her body ached all over. She searched in her bag for her phone, hoping it still had some battery left. It was possible it was being monitored but she didn’t care; she needed to talk to Stella.

 

There was a little juice left in it, and she scrolled through the numerous missed calls from Stella and a couple from her mother. Almost a week had passed since her life had been upended.

 

“Scully?” Stella answered anxiously.

 

Silence.

 

“Hello, Scully, are you there?” Then she heard soft sobbing on the other end. “I’m here. I’m here,” she whispered to Scully. Stella waited as Scully cried, continuing to say “I’m here” every so often.

 

The sound of Stella’s voice had broken the dam. She had cried in Agent Doggett’s arms after the nightmarish ordeal, and had been trying desperately not to break down again ever since. Scully finally calmed the racking sobs and gulped a stiff breath which hissed sharply in Stella’s ear.

 

“He’s gone,” she said quietly.

 

Stella felt a lump in her throat. She didn’t say anything, not wanting to bombard Scully with questions.

 

“He’s gone, Stella, and I don’t know how to find him,” she said, her voice cracking.

 

Slowly, bit by bit, the details of what happened came out between stifled cries and pained silences. She used the word ‘abducted,’ and this gave Stella a chill, knowing very well that it meant something different in their line of work. Stella knew there were no words that would do any good, so she just repeated “I’m sorry” over and over in faint whispers.

 

“Stella?” Scully said once she was done.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I’m sure this all sounds very unbelievable.”

“I believe you, Scully.”

 

“I found out some time ago that I was unable to have children,” Scully continued. “I had a hard time accepting it, and even tried IVF a couple times, but it never worked.”

 

Stella didn’t know where she was leading with this, but her heart ached for Scully all the same.

 

“The night Mulder disappeared…” Her trembling voice fell away. “Stella, I’m pregnant.”

 

Stella’s chest suddenly felt like it was filled with lead. “Oh my God,” she said, barely audible over the long distance line.

 

Scully realized it was odd to bring up her reproductive history, and so vaguely, but she wanted to somehow impress upon her what a miracle this was.

 

Scully’s phone beeped in her ear telling her the battery was running out. “Fuck,” she said defeatedly. “My phone’s about to die, Stella. I--I, uh, needed to tell you. I wanted to hear your voice because I’m lost...because I can’t hear his, and Stella…” She started crying again.

 

“Scully, I can get on a plane tonight.”

 

“No, no,” Scully insisted, tearfully, “I need to focus on finding him.”

 

“I can help.”

 

“No, it’s all right. Thank you. Knowing you would is enough—knowing you’re there,” Scully assured her.

 

“I’m here,” Stella confirmed.

 

Scully heard it before the phone went dead.

 

***  

 

Hospital beds were becoming all too familiar to Scully; she was lying in her third one this month. She was overcome with guilt—guilt for leaving her new partner high and dry again, and for not taking better care of the life growing inside her. She kept putting herself in harm’s way, partly out of some sick act of rebellion; but mostly because she was desperately trying to keep the X-files open, terrified that if they were to be shut down her hopes for finding Mulder would be, too.  

 

Agent Doggett, to his credit, had already developed a certain loyalty even though he didn’t understand much of it. They butted heads often, but she saw herself in his skeptical nature; and taking over the role of believer made her feel close to Mulder.

 

Doggett was out there in the field right now representing their ragtag little department—some horrific, cultish murders that included an FBI agent. She was somewhat relieved to be sitting this one out having been held captive recently by a slug worshipping cult. However, her reason for not being out there terrified her, too. The complications she had been experiencing worried her. She couldn’t lose this baby—she could not survive one more loss.

 

The pregnancy had been difficult so far, and it was still so early on. Her fear of miscarrying weighed on her heavily. That’s why she hadn’t told her mom about it yet. Maggie had been devastated when she heard Mulder was missing. Scully knew the news about the baby might’ve helped bolster her spirits, but she was scared of getting her mother’s hopes up, just like she admonished herself daily for the doing the same thing. Not that there was anything wrong with hoping—it’s what got her out of bed each morning, after all.

 

Besides, she had Stella to confide in, and Skinner had her back at work. That would get her by until she felt more sure—felt like she wasn’t going to wake up one day to find this pregnancy was all a dream.

 

Although, she craved comfort. Stella was an ocean away, and Skinner had to tread lightly at the Bureau. Scully had recurring nightmares of Mulder being tortured. At least she told herself they were nightmares; she couldn’t bear the thought of them being some kind of omniscient vision. Between that and the overwhelming anxiety and despair, she hardly slept; the lack of decent rest increasing her unraveling state of mind.

 

***

 

Stella remained seated at the conference table as everyone filed out of the room. Grant stayed behind to gather his things and eyed her, concerned. She was staring blankly at the closed file in front of her.

 

“Stella.”

 

She blinked and then looked up at him. “Hm?”

 

“Are you okay?” he asked. “You seem a thousand miles away.”

 

“Yeah,” she said, “I have a friend who is ill. I’m just a bit worried about her.”

 

“Sorry to hear that. Anything I can do for you?”

 

“No,” answered Stella. “Thank you though.”

 

He gave her a small smile and left her alone with her thoughts.

 

“No, nothing can be done,” she said quietly into the empty room.

 

She felt utterly helpless. Scully was living a nightmare, and there was not one thing Stella could do for her. She had come close several times over the past weeks to getting on a plane to DC. Despite Scully’s insistence that it wasn’t necessary, she felt that being there with her might help. Each time she had decided not to, fearing that her presence could just add to her stress.

 

She sighed, neatly stacked her files, and got up, steeling herself to go through the motions of the rest of her day.

 

***

 

“Can I ask you to do something?”

 

“Anything,” Stella replied. She sat up in bed and switched on her nightside lamp. It was 4 o’clock in the morning, but she was prepared to make travel arrangements the second Scully said the word. She was so relieved that Scully had been discharged from the hospital, and now Scully was asking for her help.

 

“Can you talk to me?” Scully said, softly.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Scully continued, trepidatiously, “Talk to me while I touch myself?”

 

Stella tensed. She was not prepared for that request. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” she whispered back.

 

“Stella, please,” she pleaded. “Mulder is gone. I’m carrying his child. The grief is consuming me.” Scully began to cry. “Please. Help me. Help me feel something else. Just for a moment.”

 

Stella felt every single tear that fell on Scully’s cheeks deep in her heart. She swallowed. “What are you wearing?”

 

“Pajamas,” Scully said, sniffling. She exhaled a pacified sigh, grateful that Stella would do this for her.

 

“Strip down to your underwear.”

 

Stella listened as Scully put the phone down to take off her clothes. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest.

 

“Okay,” said Scully, slightly out of breath.

 

“Touch your breasts.”

 

Scully followed her command; she tucked the phone between her cheek and shoulder, and palmed her boobs; her nipples were already erect. She started with light kneading, but as Stella continued to speak in a low voice over the phone, her clutches became rough and uncontrolled.

 

“Tease your nipples. I know they’re hard. I would take them in my mouth, swirl them with my tongue, bite them softly with my teeth.”

 

Scully arched into her own hands, pinching and rolling the sensitive peaks between her fingers.

 

“Are you wet?” Stella whispered. “Feel to see and tell me if you’re wet.”

 

Scully trailed one hand down to her center. She rubbed herself over the fabric of her panties. They were soaked with her arousal.

 

“Yesss.”

 

“Yes what?” prompted Stella.

 

“I’m wet.” Scully breathed out as she grinded her pelvis into her hand. “So wet.”

 

“Put your fingers inside you.”

 

Scully shoved her hand into her underwear and fingered her swollen entrance.

 

“Imagine it’s my tongue. I’m licking you, and you’re wet and tight, and you taste so good. You taste perfect.”

 

She whimpered as she fucked herself with her hand and pictured Stella’s mouth on her. Her ragged breaths became labored, and Stella could hear the frustration in her as she chased a release. Stella wanted to give that to her.

 

“Do you want to come?”

 

“Yesss.”

 

“Do you want me to make you come, Scully?”

“Please, Stella.”

 

“Rub your clit. Imagine it’s me, my tongue, licking; my lips, sucking.”

 

Scully was panting heavily now. Stella had to stop herself from moaning and squeezed her thighs together, pressure mounting at her core.

 

“Come against my mouth, Scully.”

 

Scully was right there. She stroked her clit furiously, desperate to let go, to feel ecstasy for a few brief moments. Stella pressed the phone to her ear to catch every strained groan.

 

“Come for me, Scully,” Stella ordered, her voice heavy and sensuous. “I want to feel your pussy quiver under my mouth, your clit pulse between my lips.”

 

Scully cried out as her orgasm finally, mercifully, overtook her. She was breathing rapidly after the shock of climax; and soon Stella heard those gasps for breath give way to anguished weeping. Stella’s vision became blurry with her own tears and she restrained a sob, covering her mouth with her hand.

 

After a while, Scully’s crying subsided, and the two of them quietly breathed into the phone. Scully felt drained, exhausted; she might be able to sleep tonight after all.

 

“Thank you,” Scully whispered.

 

Stella didn’t know what to say, so she was silent for several beats before saying, “Get some rest, Scully.”

 

“Goodnight.”

 

Stella waited to hear Scully click off before she hung up. She let the tears fall as she sat stiffly, the handset in her tight grip, stunned by what just happened. Taking a few shaky breaths, she dried her cheeks with the back of her hand, turned off the light, and crawled back under the sheets.

 

Her body felt listless, sluggish with the weight of her sadness for Scully; but, yet, she could still feel the buzz of arousal coursing through her veins. She shifted restlessly and adjusted her pillows. Stella closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

 

Try as she might to fight it, her body demanded release. Having been so intimate with Scully once again had proved to be too intense. Stella felt powerless and ashamed as her hands made their way to her aching cunt. She found herself slick and wet, and pushed three fingers in roughly. It didn’t take long before she was coming, calling out Scully’s name on a rasping, sorrowful breath.

Chapter Text

Stella checked her cell phone as soon as she landed in Wales. It was a short flight, but she had told Scully she would try to be available by phone as much as she could while she was out of town. There were no missed calls or messages.

 

She was slated to be in Bangor for two weeks, and she hoped that it really was just that and not like how it had turned out in Belfast. Although, it was a relief to be away from the Met, just for a bit. She was still a little bitter about being taken off that case. Stella had watched as each new lead fell through. Thankfully there hadn’t been anymore murders since, but they were no closer to catching a killer as they had been when she was removed.

 

As far as she could tell, Dembry and Brooks were working fine together. Louise had told her that Dembry said it was challenging, but he had taken what Stella told him to heart and was focusing on the case. Louise said that she didn’t hear from him for weeks at a time which was unusual because they spoke fairly frequently.

 

Louise had been understanding about their strictly sex arrangement, and was even more understanding each time Stella passed on her offers. Ever since the phone sex with Scully, Stella had been skittish at just the possibility of sex, whether it be with Louise or self-pleasure. Scully hadn’t asked her for that again, and she was both relieved and disappointed about it. On one hand she knew it wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism for either of them; but on the other, she craved that connection with Scully. Stella was the only one that could ease Scully’s pain in that particular way.

 

This caused in her a unique sexual frustration that she had never experienced before. It was was something she would want to confide in Scully, but Scully was the reason for it. It was a catch-22. Not to mention, she would never want to burden Scully with any of her problems right now, not with what she was going through.

 

A bell dinged indicating that the passengers could unfasten their seatbelts. Stella remained seated with her phone resting in her lap, lost in her thoughts, as everyone else stood and bustled around her in an impatient frenzy.

 

***

 

Scully took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Her mother’s smiling face appeared as the door swung open.

 

“Dana! What a surprise,” Maggie exclaimed, drawing her daughter in for a hug.

 

Scully savored the embrace and held onto her mom for a little longer than was usual.

 

“Come on in,” she said once they parted. “I still have the coffee on if you want.”

 

Scully followed her into the kitchen. “No thanks. Do you have any tea?”

 

Maggie opened the pantry and looked. “English Breakfast, green tea, chamomile,” she listed.

 

“Chamomile would be great.”

 

Maggie took a bag from the box and started the kettle on the stove. Scully sat on a stool at the island and fiddled with a button on her coat that she had draped over her legs.

 

“You don’t have to work today?” Maggie asked.

 

“No, I took today off,” Scully answered softly looking down at her hands. The little boy’s face flashed in her mind and she winced. All night long she had been haunted by the image of Trevor right as she pulled the trigger. She saw it as she lie awake and restless, and she saw it each time she fell into a fitful sleep; her words to Doggett echoing and pulsing with the rush of blood in her ears.

 

I shot a young boy. I shot a young boy. I shot a young boy.    

 

The incident the night before made her miss Mulder even more, but it also made her loneliness more acute. Mulder was the only person that would’ve understood what had happened, and how to console her, how to help her get past it. She couldn’t even imagine trying to explain it to Stella, and Doggett was as clueless as ever. Scully was going to wait to tell her mom about the baby once she was safely through her first trimester, but the events of last night had shaken her and she wanted to feel the closeness of her mother; so she decided a week early couldn’t hurt.

 

“Sweetie, are you okay?” asked Maggie, concerned.

 

“Yes,” she replied. “Just tired.”

 

The whistle on the kettle began its shrill hiss, and Maggie pulled it off, pouring water into the cup she had prepared with a teabag. She brought it to Scully and set it on the counter in front of her. Scully avoided her mother’s eyes and watched the steam rising from the cheerful ceramic mug. Maggie took the jacket from Scully’s lap and hung it over the back of a chair at the dining table. Then she sat next to Scully and found both of her hands with hers, pulling Scully to turn and face her.

 

Maggie watched as Scully struggled internally. She could see her features racked with nerves, her body stiff. Maggie had heard plenty of bad news come from her youngest daughter and about her, too; she didn’t know what awaited her now, but she tried her best to imbue the strength it looked like Scully needed.

 

“Mom,” she began, “I-- I, um, I hope you’ll forgive me for not telling you sooner, understand why I waited. I…” Scully finally raised her eyes to meet her mother’s. “I’m pregnant.”

 

Maggie’s mouth fell open, the corners curved up in a grin. She squeezed Scully’s hands. “Oh my goodness. Dana! I can’t believe it!”

 

“I can’t either,” Scully responded, smiling shyly under her mother’s astonished gaze. “I still don’t understand how it’s possible.”

 

“It’s a miracle, Dana. You’re not meant to understand God’s miracles.”

 

Scully knitted her brow. She would never understand how God could give her this child, but take away its father. Why such divine cruelty?  

 

“How far along are you?”

 

“Eleven weeks. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you soo--”

 

“Oh hush. Don’t worry about that. I’m thrilled, Dana.”

 

Scully had been about to tell her about the complications she had been plagued with the past months, but the look on her mom’s face stopped her.

 

“Were you able to tell Fox before..?”

 

The tight feeling in Scully’s chest increased. She shook her head and took a sip of her tea in an attempt to deflect both of their emotions.

 

“Oh sweetie,” Maggie said, trying to console her. She rubbed Scully’s back comfortingly. Maggie didn’t doubt that Fox Mulder was the father. She knew her daughter was a very private person and was sure there were things Scully would never tell her, but in her heart she knew this miracle came to be out of their love for each other.

 

“That explains the chamomile,” said Maggie, breaking the somber silence. “How are you doing without your caffeine?” she joked.

 

Scully groaned. “It’s the worst.”

 

Maggie laughed. “Mothers still smoked and drank back when I was pregnant, so I’m sure a cup here or there wouldn’t hurt. I stayed away from coffee for every one of my pregnancies because the smell made me want to vomit! Your father, bless his heart, switched to tea. Earl Grey, to be exact.”

 

Scully smiled. She could remember mornings when her father was home, sitting at the kitchen table, reading the paper with his mug of tea. “Did you have morning sickness? With all of us?”

 

“Oh yes. It was terrible,” Maggie said, adding with a smile, “but worth it.”

 

Scully relaxed a little. Being able to have this conversation with her mom meant the world to her at the moment.      

 

***

 

Stella left the hotel restaurant after her dinner and turned into the bar instead of going to the bank of elevators that would take her to her room. Oddly, the seclusion of that room made her feel despondent when it usually offered a comfortable peace. She didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts or her feelings.

 

Also, she hadn’t heard from Scully in days. She didn’t want to call her and make her feel like she was being checked up on. Although, she thought maybe Scully would like to hear from her, and she knew it would do herself some good. She ended up going back and forth, over and over, and always decided not to call. It made her feel silly, and it depressed her, too. How was she so comfortable with this woman yet could still be reduced to these internal, nonsensical debates.

 

Luckily, this review was keeping her busy. She worked long hours most days pouring over the files and dissecting the department’s procedures. So many mistakes had been made. It had been one thing after another, and mistakes had led to other mistakes; it felt like she would never get through it all.

 

She sat down at the bar and ordered a glass of the same wine she had had with dinner. The bartender, whom she recognized as the one who waited on her a couple of nights ago, smiled at her as he poured her drink. Stella took her phone from her bag and stared at it for a minute before shoving it back into the front pocket. She took a sip of her wine and then massaged the back of her neck, feeling the knots of tension under her fingertips.

 

“Need some distraction?” asked the bartender.

 

Stella sighed. She could tell from his sympathetic look that the frustration was radiating off of her. “Sure,” she said, unconvincingly.

 

“You ever hear the story of ‘The Maiden of the Green Forest?’ It’s a Welsh fairytale.”

 

Stella shook her head.

 

“Welsh fairies can marry mortals—betcha didn’t know that either,” he said with what Stella knew he thought was a charming wink. “And they can impose upon their earthly betrothed any number of conditions.

 

“There was a prince named Benlli. He was growing tired of his wife. She had aged as mortals do, and he went in search for a young maiden. One day as he was hunting boar he met a beautiful fairy. He asked her to be his bride, and she was willing if he agreed to her three conditions:” He ticked them off with his fingers, animatedly, as he went. “He must get rid of his old wife; he must permit her to leave him one night of every seven; and he must not ask about where she goes or what she does, nor employ any spies to follow her.”

 

Stella raised her eyebrows as she raised her glass to her lips.

 

“The prince readily agreed. If he kept his promise, the fairy assured him that her youth and beauty would never fade, not until the long green rushes grew in his great hall.”

 

Stella pursed her lips curiously. He grinned, glad he was able to hold her attention so far.

 

“They lived happily for nine years--”

 

“What happened to his first wife?” Stella interjected.

 

“Oh, so happens she was gone when he returned with his new bride.”

 

Stella narrowed her eyes at him. “How convenient,” she said, skeptical of this throwaway bit of information.

 

He smirked, and then continued, “So they lived happily for nine years. She stayed as youthful and as beautiful as the day they had met. But, Benlli’s curiosity of where she went and what she did on those nights that she left grew and began to torment him. He became miserable and unhappy.

 

“One night he hosted a feast at his castle, and a monk named Wyland from the White Minister order noticed his wretched sadness. The prince told him of his fairy wife, and the conditions, and how the mystery of her laid heavily on his soul—he hungered for peace.”

 

A man at the end of the bar signaled for her storyteller’s attention. “To be continued,” he told Stella, and went to help the customer.

 

Stella sipped her wine and ruminated on the story. She despised the prince. Although it was only a fairytale, men of this reality were just the same—greedy, controlling, treating women as means to their selfish ends.

 

“Where was I?” he asked, returning to his spot across from her.

 

“Wasn’t that the end? Curiosity killed Prince Charming and the fairy lived happily ever after?” Stella said before finishing her wine in a satisfying gulp.

 

“You rewrote it while I was gone?” he laughed. He reached back and grabbed the wine bottle, holding it up to offer her more. She pushed her glass toward him and he filled it.

 

“Well, we can leave it like that if you want, but I have a feeling that you’ll like how it ends.”

 

“All right.”

 

“So the monk, who was magical in his own right, offered the prince the peace that he craved in exchange for his fairy bride and a percentage of all that flows into his palace vaults.”

 

Now Stella hated the monk, too.

 

“Wyland went to the cave that he knew to be the entrance to Fairyland and waited for the Green Forest Maiden to appear. Not long later a beautiful woman spirited by him going into the cave. He knew it was her. The monk cast his irrevocable spell saying, ‘Let her forever be as she appears now, and never leave my side. Bring her to the Cross near the town of White Minister, and I will wed her.’” The bartender had affected an authoritative tone as he emulated the monk.

 

“At the Cross he met a hideous ogress with moss for hair and old, wrinkled skin. She was the fairy. Every seventh night she would return to the cave and become her old self, Benlli’s aged first wife.”

 

Stella’s eyes brightened at this.

 

“She had promised that her beauty would never fade until the long green rushes grew. She kept her promise as Wyland’s spell was fulfilled. The Maiden flooded the prince’s palace, the rushes and reeds growing in the banqueting hall, which was now sunk deep below the earth. The prince was granted peace, but it was the peace of the dead.

 

“The monk was caught in his own dark plot—his reward became his doom.” He finished, flashing Stella a huge grin.

 

Stella nodded, pleased with the ending. The bartender looked back at her, expectantly. She could tell he was looking for some sort of praise. It was a good story; he had told it well and it had distracted her as promised. “Thank you. That was just my kind of fairytale,” she said.

 

He smiled. “Glad you liked it.”

 

He gestured at her wine glass which was now empty. She waved her hand to decline. “No, no thank you,” said Stella as she stood.

 

“You sure?” he asked, disappointed that she was leaving.

 

“Well, I’ve already been told my bedtime story, so I better be off,” Stella quipped.

 

He laughed, and then reluctantly retrieved her ticket from the register. He slid it towards her with a pen, and she wrote her room number in the space provided and signed the bill. Stella leaned over to pick up her briefcase, and turned to leave when she heard him say “I’m off in twenty minutes” in a low, hopeful voice.

 

She looked at him, surprised by his boldness. Stella considered this. He was not someone she would seek out for a one night stand, but he was harmless and she did want to get past her recent qualms regarding sex. She also had had a bit too much wine. Stella wasn’t sure if that fact eased her mind or not. It might make her decision to invite him up easier, but not so much the better decision.

 

“See you then,” she said, her eyes fixed on his, imposingly. He may have made the first move, but it was clear by her look that she was in charge. He smiled in agreement, but he was a little less sure of himself.  

 

She was okay with it until he was inside her, and then she wasn’t.

 

When the bartender had come to her room, Stella was still dressed in her work clothes. She helped him undress, and had to keep stopping him from trying to do the same to her. She kissed him to silence his nervous chatter. Stella reached under her skirt and slid her panties down while he stood naked at the end of the bed putting on a condom.

 

Gently pushing on his shoulders, Stella had wordlessly directed him to sit on the bed. She inched up her skirt so she could straddle his lap, and he leaned in to lick the hollow of her throat. Stella dipped her chin down so she could capture his lips with hers as she guided him to her entrance. She lowered herself onto his cock, and he broke their kiss to moan with pleasure.

 

“I don’t want this,” Stella said, coming to this realization suddenly.

 

She removed herself from his lap, picked up her discarded underwear and started to put them back on.

 

“What the fuck?” he said, more to himself than to her.

 

She looked down at his crotch; he was still hard. “You can take care of that in the washroom if you’d like,” Stella offered, politely.

 

His eyes widened in stunned confusion. “You can’t--”

 

“Can’t what?” said Stella, calmly challenging him. He looked back at her, but didn’t say anything. “Can’t change my mind?”

 

“But, I was inside you,” he said incredulously.

 

“Ongoing consent,” she stated simply. “It’s something you should consider every time you jump into bed with someone.”

 

Stella began gathering his clothes from the floor. The bartender stood up awkwardly; his dick, now soft, hung limply against his thigh.

 

“This is unbelievable,” he said under his breath as he started to put his clothes on that she was handing to him.

 

Once he had his pants and shirt on and was stepping clumsily into his shoes, Stella said, “Right, off you go now,” and guided him to the door, pushing his bartender’s vest into his arms.

 

Alone in her room again, Stella slumped down onto the sofa and rubbed her face with her hands. What was wrong with her? She can’t even enjoy a meaningless fuck? Her briefcase was on the cushion next to her. She looked at it and sighed, reaching in the front pocket for her phone.

 

“Hello?” answered Scully.

 

“Hi, it’s me,” said Stella.

 

“Hi. Everything okay?” she asked, sensing something in Stella’s tone.

 

“I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Chapter Text

Two weeks had passed. Stella had had to extend her stay in Bangor to complete her review, but it was finally done and she was relieved to be going home tomorrow. She worked late and ate her meals at the station, trying to avoid the oppressive loneliness of her hotel room. Scully had gone through yet another trauma that had landed her in the hospital. She had expressed fears about the baby she was carrying, and Stella had not known how to respond or how to comfort her. Stella could hear how alone Scully felt in her voice, and she ached for her.

 

Stella had never been able to handle the feeling of helplessness very well—it did not suit her strong-willed nature, and it was beginning to take its toll. She was wound so tight, she was afraid something inside her would snap. She had her ways of managing stress, but nothing seemed to be working.

 

Swimming laps had helped a little until she had a nightmare about drowning. Her father was in it, and she hadn’t dreamt about him for awhile—since Belfast, actually. They were standing on a dock at a lake. She didn’t recognize it. The young version of herself, probably around the age of eight, slipped and fell into the water. It was freezing cold. She remembered being able to see her father clearly through the surface. He reached down for her, and she kicked her legs so she could grab his outstretched hand, but no matter how hard she kicked she could not get closer to him. She kept thinking that at any second he would jump in to save her, but he never did. She hadn’t returned to the pool after that.

 

This was also the longest period she had gone without having sex, even with herself. The night she had kicked the bartender out of her room, she and Scully had talked on the phone. Stella was unable to disguise the anxiety in her voice, but she told Scully that it was nothing. How selfish it would be to worry her with her problems. Instead she asked after Scully and how it had gone giving her mother the news. She was glad to hear that it had went well, and Scully had sounded like she was in a brighter mood.

 

Later, when she had crawled into bed, she let her hands roam over her body. The bartender hadn’t been the right choice, but surely she could coax an orgasm out of herself to help alleviate her pent up frustration.  

 

She was wrong.

 

Stella rubbed and fucked herself for what had felt like an eternity. She would get so close, but the gratification of release eluded her each time. Finally she had given up. Disappointed with herself, and sure that sleep would be just as difficult to come by, she took a shower and then got to work on the files she had brought back with her.

 

She recalled that night as she waited for the car to take her back to the hotel. Stella felt just as irritated as she did then, maybe even more so because of all the sleepless and sexless nights that had followed.

 

She took out her phone and dialed Louise’s number.

 

“Hi. I’m getting back tomorrow around 4 o’clock. Do you think you can meet me at my flat?”

 

***

 

Stella, I need you. Please come.

 

Scully thought about saying this numerous times over the past weeks, but could never bring herself to do it. Her loneliness was debilitating. She couldn’t do much besides go through the motions of each day—her mundane tasks, her job. Asking for help seemed to be too much to even consider.

 

She wrestled constantly with her painful memories and regrets that when an unprovoked feeling of joy or excitement about her pregnancy surfaced she felt guilty. This wasn’t how this was supposed to be. She should be able to share her hopes and fears with her partner, the father of her child.

 

The whole ordeal with Mary Hendershot had shaken her. She kept finding herself locked into reminiscences of the times she tried to get pregnant. They hadn’t acted on their feelings yet, but this was the start of it all. Scully had asked Mulder to be her sperm donor and he had accepted. He seemed as eager and as hopeful as she had during the process, and took the failure of it each time just as hard. Remembering these tender moments with him made things the way they were now so much more difficult.

 

Now that her mother and Agent Doggett knew, she had thought at least the burden of keeping it secret would ease some of her anxiety, but it didn’t. Maggie had become overzealous with her baby planning. Scully couldn’t bring herself to even think of things like cribs and breast pumps right now. And Doggett had been treating her with kid gloves. His exaggerated kindness was grating.

 

Luckily, Scully still had Stella who treated her exactly the same. She didn’t understand much about her particular predicament, but that didn’t stop her from being caring and supportive. Although, she could tell that Stella seemed especially stressed, but wouldn’t talk about it. Scully knew Stella wanted to be her pillar of strength, but Scully could also use the distraction—to be steered away from her own troubles, just for a moment at least.

 

She had asked that of Stella once before in the form of phone sex. Scully realized she had put Stella on the spot, and that wasn’t very fair to do. She was so overwhelmed with her emotions and worries at the time, she wasn’t thinking clearly. It had offered a brief respite though, and had aided her in getting some much needed sleep. She hoped Stella knew how much it had helped her.

 

***

 

Louise was sitting on Stella’s stoop, bundled up in a big coat and oversized headphones affixed atop her head when Stella arrived home. She stood and took Stella’s suitcase from the driver. She noticed Stella was avoiding eye contact with her, and hadn’t greeted her in any way.

 

They got Stella’s belongings inside, and Stella left them on the floor of the foyer, grabbed Louise’s hand and pulled her to her bedroom. She kissed Louise as she frantically tried to rid them of their coats.

 

“Well, hi Louise, how are you? I’m fine, thanks very much for asking,” Louise finally said when Stella pulled away to take off her scarf.

 

Stella looked at her, brows furrowed in distress, her chin trembling like she was about to cry. She sat on the bed and put her face in her hands.

 

“Oh hey, I was just teasing you,” said Louise. “But it looks like you don’t need that right now.” She knelt in front of Stella and put her hand gently over Stella’s. “What do you need?”

 

Stella dropped her hands to her lap and looked at them instead of Louise. “I need you to fuck me,” she said softly.

 

“I can do that.” She pulled Stella up to stand and began to unbutton her blouse.

 

Stella, grateful, placed her hands on Louise’s cheeks and kissed her. Then she pulled back and said, “Do it rough.”

 

Louise looked at her, concerned at first, but then nodded. Instead of undoing the remaining buttons of Stella’s shirt, she ripped it open, sending buttons flying across the room. Stella gasped.

 

Louise pushed her down onto the bed and knelt back down between her legs, forcefully shoving Stella’s fitted pencil skirt up around her hips. She tugged her underwear down her legs and didn’t even bother to remove them all the way, leaving the burgundy lace taut between Stella’s ankles. She leaned in and nipped up her inner thigh towards her apex. Stella’s muscles tensed beneath her touch. With one long pass of her tongue over Stella’s entrance she felt that Stella was dry; so she sloppily lapped at her, spending more time on her clit to get her worked up.

 

And it seemed to do the trick—Stella was soon writhing under her. Once she got the desired response she moved up to hover over Stella on the bed. She bit Stella’s hardened nipple inside the cup of her bra while scooting her hands underneath to unclasp it. She tossed it aside and grabbed Stella’s bare breasts, kneading them with bruising intensity. Stella cried out, and Louise was relieved to hear it was out of pleasure and not pain.

 

She took Stella by the shoulders and flipped her over onto her stomach, and ran her fingers down her back, between the crack of her ass, and down to her center, which was now slick with Stella’s own arousal. Louise pushed her three middle fingers into her roughly, her pinky grazing over her clit and her thumb massaging her taint. Stella moaned, and new moisture gushed around Louise’s fingers. She began to fuck her fast and hard. Stella bunched the comforter in her fists, harsh breaths stirring the hair that covered her face and echoing loudly in the silent room.

 

Louise folded herself over Stella’s back and slipped her free arm underneath Stella at her chest. In one swift, jarring move, she pulled them both to a standing position, her hand at Stella's cunt continuing its relentless pounding. She squeezed a handful of Stella’s boob, bringing their bodies tightly together. Louise made the movement of her hips mimic a man’s as if he was fucking her from behind, bucking against Stella’s buttocks in time with the pumping of her hand.

 

Then Stella’s breath hitched with a sharp hiss, and Louise felt the walls of her pussy flutter around her fingers. She withdrew her hand from Stella and rubbed her clit soothingly to stretch out Stella’s climax, her grip on her breast relaxing.

 

Stella leaned forward and Louise released her, letting her drop down. Stella turned over to lie on the bed still breathing heavily. Louise sat next to her.

 

“Sorry ‘bout your shirt.”

 

“It’s okay,” Stella replied.

 

They let a comfortable silence blossom around them. That hard sought after release that Stella needed had finally come, and Louise sensed Stella’s intense relief radiating off of her.

 

Later that night as Stella got ready for bed, her phone rang. It was Scully, and she was calling with devastating news.

Chapter Text

He’s dead.

 

Those two words rang loudly in Stella’s ears. It had been a week since Scully had told her, but it continued to haunt her. Scully was like a widow, a widow expecting a child and mourning its father. Stella couldn’t even begin to fathom what it was like to be in Scully’s skin right now. How does one deal with a loss of this magnitude, and one that is fraught with so many unanswered questions.

 

Time heals all wounds. This adage didn’t really apply to Scully, Stella thought. Her child will forever be a reminder of Mulder’s death. How could she ease this precise pain from which Scully was suffering? Stella remained in that interminable waystation of helplessness—desperate to help, but completely unable to.   

 

***

 

“I don’t understand why you need to go so far away, Dana.”

 

Scully leaned on the piles of clothes in her opened suitcase, closed her eyes, and sighed.

 

“I think you’re still in shock,” Maggie said.

 

“I just need to,” said Scully, hoping the matter would be dropped.

 

But Maggie continued, “I don’t understand.” 

 

“No, you don’t. You don’t understand,” Scully snapped, her exasperation building. “Nobody understands!”

 

Maggie was startled by her daughter raising her voice. Scully brought her shaky hands to her face—her cheeks were warm to the touch. She had to calm down.

 

When she looked up at her mother, she saw her hurt, downcast eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom,” she said softly. “I know you lost Dad--”

 

“Oh sweetie,” Maggie interrupted, “I know it’s not the same. You’re right, I don’t know what you’re going through. I just worry about you.”

 

“I know.”

 

Maggie came around the bed and put her hands on Scully’s stomach. “And about this little one, too.” She smiled at Scully, her outburst forgiven and forgotten.

 

They hugged, both needing the comfort and closeness. Then Maggie sat on the bed next to Scully’s suitcase, taking a set of pajamas and expertly folding them.

 

“So who is this friend in London? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about her.”

 

***

 

Stella went from room to room of her flat, giving them the once over; tidying a stack of magazines here, checking surfaces for dust there. She had sat face to face with terrifying serial killers numerous times without a shred of anxiety, but Scully coming to stay with her was throwing her into a fit of nerves. This was finally her chance to be of some help to Scully; she didn’t want to screw it up.

 

They had kind of come up with the idea together. Scully said she wanted to get away, and Stella had suggested she come to London. Scully was quick to take her up on the offer, leading Stella to believe she was hinting at it from the beginning. Although, she was a little sad that Scully might’ve felt like she couldn’t just come out and ask. Stella had been vocal about flying to DC ever since Mulder went missing, of course she would be fine with Scully coming to stay with her. She felt it was a given, but she understood Scully’s reticence because she was stubborn when it came to asking for help herself. They were quite similar in that respect.

 

Stella looked at the clock on her mantle; Scully should be here any minute. She had insisted that Stella not bother with picking her up from the airport, so she ended up pacing the rooms of her home while she waited for Scully to arrive.

 

She had no idea what to expect from Scully’s mood. Would she be stoic and strong, or emotional and bereft? She had taken the week off of work, but didn’t know what they would actually do. Sightsee? Would Scully want the distraction?

 

Stella rubbed her palms on the front of her slacks. Why am I all clammy? she thought. Get yourself together. She hated being unprepared, but there was no way to prepare for this. Once Scully got here, she would be able to gauge her mood and could take it from there. She just wanted to be the right kind of comfort that Scully needed.

 

The anticipated knock at the door mercifully came.

 

“Hi,” Stella said. Scully replied with the same, and then they stood looking at each other for a long beat before Stella stepped forward to take Scully’s suitcase.

 

“No, no, I got it,” Scully said. “Please don’t fawn over me. I don’t think I can take it.”

 

Stella let go of the handle and stood back, opening the door wider. “Of course,” she said, agreeing. “Come on in.” Stella was grateful that Scully was voicing what she needed from her; she could work with that.

 

Stella watched Scully as she looked around Stella’s entryway. She felt their opportunity to hug in greeting had passed and would now be awkward. Scully looked the same as the last time she had seen her, hair slightly longer, but not much; her coat probably hiding a marginally pregnant belly. Her face had good coloring. She looked healthy which Stella was relieved to see; she had expected her to look pale and tired considering all she had just been through on top of her frequent stays in the hospital.

 

“This looks very...you,” Scully said.

 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing,” chuckled Stella.

 

“Good. It’s good,” Scully answered. “It’s reassuring.”

 

Stella led her up the stairs to her bedroom so she could put her things down. Scully set her suitcase on the bench at the end of the bed, and continued to look around as she shed her scarf and coat. It was fascinating to her to be in Stella’s home. She wanted to see everything, catch every detail. Her bedroom seemed to be more homey than what she had seen so far. Maybe it was the one place Stella felt she didn’t have to be so pulled together.  

 

Stella took her coat and hung it up in her closet. “You’re barely showing,” she remarked.

 

“It doesn’t feel that way,” Scully said, placing her hands on her stomach. “I feel so, I don’t know...exposed.”

 

Stella frowned sympathetically.

 

“Show me the rest?” Scully prompted, diverting away from the attention her comment had just garnered.

 

Stella gave Scully a quick tour, and they ended up in the kitchen. Scully drifted around the perimeter of the bright room looking at Stella’s sparse decor. Stella let her take her time. She was leaning against the stove, watching her. She couldn’t take her eyes off of her. That glow pregnant women have was real—Scully was evidence of that.

 

Scully stopped in front of a small bulletin board. There were a couple of postcards and a delivery menu, and a 20 pound note with HE THAT LOVES NOT ABIDES IN DEATH written on it.

 

“John 3:14,” Scully said, softly. She touched her fingertips to it and looked thoughtful, eyes glazing over wistfully for a brief moment, then they filled with tears. Scully sighed and ended it with a frustrated laugh at herself. “Sorry. I have to warn you I start crying out of nowhere. Fucking hormones combined with...well anyway. Just ignore me.” She wiped away the fallen tears with her hand.

 

“You’re impossible to ignore,” Stella said. They shared a long look. “And don’t apologize.”

 

Scully nodded.

 

“So, I’m not much of a cook,” Stella said, sensing that Scully wanted the conversation steered away from the direction it was going. “We can get delivery, or go grab takeaway. Or there’s a nice little pub in walking distance. We can go through the park since it’s not too blustery out.”

 

“That sounds good. I’d like the exercise after that long flight,” answered Scully. She appreciated Stella giving her something else to focus on other than her emotions.

 

The walk was pleasant even though the air was rather frigid. They were both bundled up enough not to notice. Dusk had just set in, and the sky was a purplish gray color. Neither of them said much, but their silence was companionable. They seemed to be at peace just to be in each other’s company at long last. Their relationship since Stella had left DC was all talking—long-distance calls that didn’t befit bouts of quietness—so there was something satisfying in the silence.

 

The Rylston was a modern pub whose specialty was wood-fired pizzas. The atmosphere was lively considering it was fairly early on a weekday evening. Black and white photographs of British rock stars adorned the walls. They opted for a table in the corner instead of the patio outside where patrons were crowded around the chimeneas scattered about. They ordered the margherita pizza for one and a side of sweet potato chips to split with a Bordeaux Rouge for Stella and sparkling water for Scully.

 

Conversation came naturally, to their mutual relief. The awkwardness of their initial reunion had been brief and they had left it behind them to dissipate from Stella’s flat. Scully told Stella that Mulder had gone to university in Oxford, and she learned that Stella had attended Cambridge. They both reminisced over their college days, trading stories of rebellious youth and their fierce dedication to their studies.

 

“We would’ve gotten along quite swimmingly at university,” Stella proffered.

 

“Oh, I’m sure of it,” Scully agreed, smiling.

 

They walked back the same way through the park although it was dark by now. Scully thought back to when they had walked to her apartment after dinner and how she had to keep herself from reaching for Stella’s hand. This time the urge didn’t quite strike her, but she moved closer to Stella so that their arms brushed against each other as they strolled along. Stella smiled inwardly at the contact.

 

Once they returned and removed their cold weather layers, Stella got a fire going in the fireplace and her electric kettle going for tea. Scully sat on the single bar stool at the kitchen island and watched Stella putter around. She felt relaxed, but an uneasy feeling bristled beneath the surface which Scully couldn’t decipher. She didn’t know what the source of it was—most likely just general grief and anxiety; she found herself caught in its hold frequently as of late.

 

“How do you take your tea? With milk and sugar?”

 

“However you make it is fine,” Scully said, her voice somewhat restrained.

 

Stella went about making two mugs of tea. She noticed Scully seemed a bit more quiet since they had gotten back. There was something melancholic about her now that wasn’t there during dinner. She placed a mug in front of Scully, and leaned against the counter with her own in her hands.

 

Scully stared at the milky, raw umber liquid—no doubt the perfect shade of a proper cup of English tea. She curled her fingers around the cup, the warmth sending a soothing wave through her. “I probably shouldn’t have this. I’m sure a little caffeine won’t hurt, but I’m so paranoid with all the complications I’ve had already.”

 

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Stella said. “I didn’t even think of that.” She was going to take it back, but the way Scully sat with it in her hands, almost protectively, gave her pause.

 

“Seven times,” Scully said, cryptically. “That’s how many times I’ve been in the hospital since I’ve been pregnant, and I’m barely into my second trimester. Granted, several of those times were because of my own stupidity.” She brought the mug up to her nose and breathed in the slightly floral and warm honey-like scent as if she were testing the boundaries of that stupidity. She set it down without taking a sip. “I can’t believe I’ve made it this far, to be honest.”

 

That melancholic air around Scully that Stella had observed darkened. Scully slid off the stool and began to pace. “You know, it’s a lot of pressure just trying to bring this baby safely to term. Mulder was the last of his bloodline. His parents are dead; his sister, also abducted. Can you believe that?” She looked at Stella, but it was clear she didn’t expect an answer. “I was abducted, too. Did I ever tell you that?” She knew she hadn’t, but this sudden onslaught of stress had her speaking without thinking. Scully continued, getting more and more agitated. “Whatever they did to me gave me cancer, left me barren. My sister was killed in my home in an attempt on my life.”  

 

Jesus, thought Stella. How is this woman alive and standing in front of me right now?   

 

“And then finally things were okay. I mean, I guess if you don’t count being attacked by a death fetishist and zombies.”

 

Stella’s eyes widened at that.

 

“Mulder and I were happy. Things were so good,” Scully said fretfully. “We had even survived, you know…” She motioned between them, indicating their affair. “And then this miracle,” she said, putting her hands on her belly. “I didn’t even get a chance to tell him that he was going to be a father. It’s so unfair,” said Scully, her volume rising and tears spilling from her eyes. “It’s so fucking unfair!” Without realizing what she was doing, Scully grabbed a vase of flowers from the counter and threw it to the floor. The loud crash of the glass shattering into pieces jolted Scully out of her chaotic spiral.

 

Scully looked down at the broken shards, the water puddling, the flowers strewn about. She gasped and brought a hand to her mouth. She felt the wetness on her cheeks from tears she wasn’t even aware of having shed. Stella stood stock-still, not sure of what would come next. Scully looked up at her with a horrified expression etched onto her face. She was shocked at what she had just done, she felt terrible for behaving this way—for letting her emotions get the best of her.

 

The fear in Scully’s eyes pained Stella. Her outburst was understandable, inevitable even. She reached over the sink and picked up a small vase void of flowers that sat on the window sill; and walked over to Scully and put it in her hand. Scully raised it overhead, but then her face twisted in agony and she crumbled, collapsing in Stella’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably now. Stella held her, rocking her gently, on the floor of her kitchen.

 

After awhile, her crying abated. “I’m sorry. I’m a mess,” she said, sniffling.

 

“Hey, hey, what did I say about apologizing?” Stella softly chastened.

 

“I’m all over the place.”

 

Stella brushed away the strands of hair that had fallen in front of her face and stuck to the dampness on her cheeks. “Can I put you to bed?” she said tenderly.

 

Scully looked back at her with big, liquid eyes and nodded.

 

Stella got her upstairs, Scully leaning on her the whole way. She had her sit on the bed while she looked in her suitcase for pajamas. Scully had fallen somewhat catatonic. She let Stella undress her and put on her pjs—she even made eye contact with Stella a couple times—but Stella wasn’t sure she was actually seeing anything; she seemed dazed. Once she got her dressed, she turned down the covers and helped her into bed. Stella laid down next to her, still in her clothes, not wanting to leave Scully even for the short amount of time it would take to change into her own sleepwear. She watched Scully. Her glossy eyes were looking right at her, but again, Stella didn’t think she registered that she was there in front of her.

 

Eventually, Scully succumbed to her fatigue and she fell asleep. Stella got up off the bed slowly so not to wake her. She went downstairs and cleaned up the broken vase, poured their cold cups of tea down the drain and washed them out. She braced herself against the sink as everything Scully had said came rushing back, and she started to cry.

 

Awhile later, Stella having gotten ready for bed herself, climbed in next to Scully. She settled her head on the pillow facing Scully, and saw that her eyes were open.

 

“Did I wake you?”

 

“Kiss me.”

 

Stella felt flush all over. “I wasn’t sure--”

 

“Kiss me,” Scully urged again.

 

Stella propped herself up on one elbow so she could hover over Scully. Her heart was pounding madly in her chest. She swept Scully’s hair across her brow and caressed her cheek before leaning in for a soft and tender kiss. Scully immediately opened her mouth to Stella, but it didn’t feel rushed or urgent. Their tongues slowly spilled into each other’s mouths, their hands starting to explore one another’s bodies as well. The movements were gradual and sensual, if not a little timid, kind of like a first time between new lovers.

 

Stella broke the kiss. “Tell me you want this,” she said, breathlessly.

 

“I want this. Stella, I want you.”

 

Scully sat up and pulled her shirt over her head, and then leaned over Stella the same way Stella had when she kissed her. She undid the buttons of Stella’s silk sleep shirt, pushing the flaps aside to expose her chest. Their lips met again, and Scully hugged Stella close, their breasts pressing together; and she rolled them onto their sides so they laid facing each other. They continued to kiss, and then as if it was from a shared thought they both tucked their hands in between their bodies, fingers lightly traipsing a path downward—Stella’s over Scully’s slightly protruding belly. Their breaths became hot against each other’s mouths as they slid their hands past the elastic of their underwear. They each found the other wet and swollen—ready.

 

Scully felt Stella’s fingers enter her and she pulled back to look at Stella. When Stella opened her eyes (which had still been closed from the passionate kiss), Scully pushed hers into Stella. They fingered one another in the same slow, sensual way with which they had started, and with their gazes piercing each other. Stella felt as if she was high from the eye contact alone. It wasn’t until Scully’s orgasm hit, that this sexual staring contest ended. Scully squeezed her eyes shut, and Stella watched her face as she climaxed. She was so enamoured by the vision that she came, too, her walls clamping around Scully’s delicate fingers.

 

Scully swallowed the last of Stella’s moans with a deep kiss. Then they held each other, the quiet of the room enveloping them as their heavy breaths became fainter.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Stella whispered in her ear just before Scully fell asleep.

Chapter Text

When Stella woke up, she felt her body heavy with an undefinable dread. She looked next to her where Scully was sleeping. It was not a peaceful sleep from the looks of it, her eyebrows were knitted, making her appear worried. Scully was still topless, the sheet resting across her breasts. Stella noticed her shirt was unbuttoned from the night before as well. She carefully got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she did mental triage on all her emotions, trying to figure out why she felt so distressed—a feeling that had awakened her far earlier than she would’ve liked.

 

Tell me you want this.

 

I want this. Stella, I want you.

 

Panic started to set in as she recalled the night before. I didn’t ask her what she wanted, I made her tell me, Stella thought in horror. Scully was not in her right mind.

 

Stella looked away from her own scrutiny staring back at her from the mirror. She was stricken and ashamed that she might’ve had taken advantage of Scully’s fragile state.

 

Kiss me.

 

But, Scully had initiated it, demanded it even. No, no, I am in the wrong, she chided herself. She pressed the heels of her hands against her closed eyes.

 

What have I done?

 

***

 

She dreamt about Mulder again, but it was different this time. The nightmares of him being tortured had stopped shortly before they found him. Scully tried to recall the dream, but it was quickly fading from her mind. She remembered Jeremiah Smith was there, and then Mulder who was holding Samantha’s hand. It wasn’t an 8 year old Samantha nor the adult clone, it was Samantha as a young teenager. Then Scully was by herself on the edge of a cliff looking into the night sky. She was waiting for the sun to come up, but she never saw it glow on the horizon like she had expected, instead she felt it—warmth from the sun rising behind her.

 

The warm feeling had continued as she slowly opened her eyes. Stella was not there. The room was still rather dark, the gray weather outside providing little light through the sheer curtains. A clock on Stella’s nightstand told her it was 10 o’clock. Scully had slept late, and she had needed it. She didn’t exactly feel rested, but she felt lighter somehow. When she sat up, the sheet fell to her lap and she realized she wasn’t wearing her top. Her memory of their love-making remained clear, unlike the dream. Scully smiled at the thought of it as she got out of bed and retrieved her shirt from the floor.  

 

She padded into the kitchen and found Stella also still in her pajamas. She sat with an empty mug in her hands, staring into space.

 

“Good morning,” Scully said.

 

“Oh, hi,” she responded, snapping out of her daze. “How are you feeling?” Stella got up off the stool and offered it to Scully.

 

“Pretty good, actually,” she said, sitting down.

 

Stella busied herself at the sink, washing her mug. “I checked the cupboard for some herbal tea, but I don’t have any. I can make you hot water with lemon and honey.”

 

“That’d be great. Thank you.”

 

Stella kept her back to Scully as she prepared her drink.

 

“What are you doing?” Scully asked.

 

“Hm?” Stella said, turning slightly to Scully with a bit of confusion crossing her face. “Cutting lemons?”

 

“No, I mean, why aren’t you looking at me in the eye?” Scully had noticed it immediately. Stella was always so arresting with her eye contact, sometimes intimidatingly so, that her avoidance of it was palpable.

 

Stella set down the knife on the cutting board and sighed before turning to face Scully. Once she did their eyes briefly met before Stella looked down at her hands.

 

“I’m so--”

 

“Nope,” said Scully, cutting her off. “If I don’t get to say ‘sorry’ neither do you. You have nothing to apologize for. I have nothing to apologize for. If you think you coerced me into something last night, you are wrong.”

 

Stella finally looked up again. Scully got off the stool and walked over to Stella and stood in front of her. “I felt alone and untethered and you reached out to me, anchored me. And over the past weeks even with everything going on, I sensed that you were feeling that way, too, so let me do the same for you.”

 

Stella’s eyes misted over. Scully took Stella's hands in her own. “This is uncharted territory. We are keeping each other afloat, and we aren’t going to apologize for surviving.”

 

A tear slid down Stella’s cheek. Scully pulled her close by the hands, leaned in, and kissed it away. Then she pressed her lips, moist with the salty tear, to Stella’s. She relaxed into Scully, the tension she had built up in her mind all morning fading away.

 

***

 

Stella had run out to Tesco while Scully showered. Scully had made a list with the ingredients for her mom’s Fisherman’s Soup so she could make it for their dinner. They had decided they would spend the day in, watching TV and being generally lazy, something they both rarely allowed themselves to do.

 

They were both back in their pajamas sprawled out on the sofa. Stella was sitting cross-legged, Scully lying down with her feet resting in Stella’s lap. The soup was simmering away on the stove; the rich, salty aroma of the sea permeating the air from the kitchen. A shared bowl of popcorn sat abandoned on the coffee table.

 

An Audrey Hepburn marathon was playing on one of the classic film channels. They had just finished watching Charade, and Breakfast At Tiffany’s was coming up next after a block of advertisements.

 

“Did you ever read the book?” Scully asked.

 

“A long time ago.”

 

“I read it one weekend, or at least I tried to read it. Mulder had kept calling me about killer cockroaches,” Scully said, reminiscing fondly.

 

“Oh God. Really?”

 

“I finally went to assist him after, I don’t know how many calls. Well, actually, I only decided to go once he told me there was some woman entomologist helping him,” Scully said, embarrassed.

 

Stella stifled a laugh, and gave Scully a sympathetic look.

 

“Her name was Bambi,” Scully continued, rolling her eyes. “And she looked like a Bambi,” she said holding her hands animatedly in front of her chest.

 

Stella snickered at that. “Scully,” she said, playfully admonishing her.

 

“I’m not proud of it, okay?” said Scully, chuckling now, too.

 

Stella liked listening to stories of their odd cases, some of them were of lighter fare and always more interesting than hers which usually involved flesh and blood men with monster-like mentalities. Concomitantly, Scully started feeling okay talking about Mulder and sharing some of their good times with Stella. She thought of the bible passage tacked up in Stella’s kitchen: he that loves not abides in death. Mulder will always live on because he loved, and she was lucky enough that he had shared his love with her.

 

The movie began and they both fell silent, becoming absorbed in the quirky, yet somewhat tragic story. When Holly Golightly sat on the fire escape, playing the guitar and singing “Moon River” in the most wistful way, Scully’s emotions overwhelmed her suddenly and she started crying softly. Stella reached over and rubbed her arm comfortingly, before getting up to get her a box of tissues.

 

“Thank you,” Scully said, dabbing her eyes.

 

She dried her tears and was fine for awhile, but the sorrowful feeling was just temporarily dormant, and Holly receiving news of her brother’s death set her off again.  

 

“Fuck,” she said, sitting up. Scully was frustrated with the highs and lows she was experiencing. It was exhausting, and she hated that she had no control over it. She felt Stella’s hand on her back.

 

“I, I just need a minute,” whispered Scully. She got up and left the room, Stella watching her with concern.

 

She went into the small downstairs bathroom, purposefully avoiding herself in the mirror and leaned against the wall. Her shoulders shuddered with a sob and she let herself cry until the tears stopped on their own without her having to try to hold them back. She splashed her face with water, and then looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her nose was red, her eyes were puffy. She took a few deep breaths and dried her face with the hand towel.

 

Stella gave her a small smile when she came back. Scully had to stop herself from saying ‘sorry.’ Why was it such an ingrained urge to apologize for showing emotion? She had done it her whole life, and it took effort to not do it; but she was grateful to Stella for making her aware of it, and she was going to try to break the habit.

 

Stella put a throw pillow in her lap and patted it, invitingly. Scully laid her head down and closed her eyes, soothed by Stella’s fingers softly playing with her hair. Lulled by her touch, Scully dozed off. Stella watched her sleeping face more than she did the movie, relieved that Scully’s features were relaxed and serene as she slept.

 

She woke up and saw the credits rolling on the screen, wondering if she had slept through the ending or through the next movie’s entirety, in addition. She turned and looked up at Stella.

 

“Hey there, Scully Golightly,” Stella said, brushing her hand along Scully’s cheek.

 

Scully smiled brightly back at her, and then sat up, needing to stretch. “Mulder’s friends called me that for awhile. I never understood why. I’m nothing like her.”

 

“You’re fiercely independent,” Stella reasoned.

 

Scully nodded. “Though, you more than I.”

 

“I definitely cook like her,” she joked.

 

Scully huffed out a laugh and stood, remembering that she had the soup on the stove. She went into the kitchen to check on it. “What’s on next?” she called back.

 

“That’s it for Audrey today. Back to regular programming,” she answered, coming to stand next to Scully, and peering inside the pot.

 

“Well, this looks ready," Scully said. "Or is it too early for dinner?”

 

“Let’s eat. I’m hungry, and it smells delicious.”

 

Scully served them each heaping bowfuls, and they sat down to eat at the small dining table just off the kitchen. Scully started eating, but Stella just stared into her bowl.

 

“What’s the matter?” Scully asked.

 

“Nobody has ever cooked for me before,” Stella said contemplatively as if the thought just occurred to her. Stella was truly touched by the gesture, not fully realizing the significance of it until they sat at her table for two which she had only ever sat at alone. “Thank you.”

 

Scully smiled tenderly at Stella, and leaned in towards her. Stella met her halfway, putting her hand on Scully’s cheek, and they kissed. It was simple and chaste, but full of warmth.

Chapter Text

The next couple of days passed similarly. They stayed in mostly, not really needing anything other than one another’s company. Both were overdue for some rest and relaxation, so they let themselves indulge. There were more lazy afternoons of reading and tv watching. They took naps together and some strolls through the park. There were nights of cathartic love-making, and a few urgent I-need-you-right-this-minute fucks in various places around Stella’s flat.

 

Scully was feeling better, and the bouts of crying were becoming fewer. She felt mentally stronger, and even allowed herself some excitement over her pregnancy. Stella also felt recharged; being there for Scully and letting her care for her in return had a restorative effect that had surprised her. They really were saving each other, bringing one another back from the brink over and over.

 

At breakfast, Scully had said she was ready to venture out, to do something touristy. Stella suggested a museum. They spent most of the afternoon wandering around The National Gallery. Stella had extensive knowledge of art history, and she became Scully’s unique and personal tour guide. Scully took extra time looking at Raphael's Madonna of the Pinks, captivated by the tenderness shown between the mother and her child. Most paintings of the Madonna and child were stiff and formal. This portrayed a joyful maternal love. Scully had reflexively put her hand to her stomach and smiled. She was once again in awe of her miraculous blessing, but a little less fearful this time.

 

They had ended their self-guided tour after coming across The Nightmare by Henry Fuseli. Stella hadn’t realized The National Gallery had it in their collection. She was taken aback by the effect it had on her after all these months. Scully had noticed Stella’s reaction to it immediately, although it would’ve been imperceptible to anyone else.

 

They had left the museum and found a bench away from the crowds in Trafalgar Square. Stella told Scully the significance of the painting in the Spector case. She had never admitted how much that night had shaken her. Stella had expressed her irritation to Jim about the invasion of her privacy and the stress of turning her journal over to evidence, but she always kept her fear out of it. It made her feel weak to be afraid of a man’s action. She prided herself on being fearless and almost immune to the evils of men, wanting nothing more than to put a stop to them and bring them to justice. Paul Spector breaking into her hotel room had left her feeling more violated and bruised and broken than his physical attack on her had.

 

She had never voiced these anxieties to anyone. Scully listened intently. She knew exactly where Stella was coming from—she had grappled with the same difficulties many times over the years. Scully sat close to Stella, hoping the nearness would offer some comfort; she knew there wasn’t much she could say to make her feel any better, but she could be there for her. Stella did gather strength from it, and after she finished talking they sat in silence for some time, watching the passersby, feeling safe and protected at each other’s sides.

 

Later, they got Indian takeaway to bring back to the house. Scully had had a craving for curry. They were dishing their plates up when the phone rang. Stella went into the living room to answer the it. When she came back into the kitchen, she looked at Scully hesitantly and cleared her throat before speaking.

 

“Uh, that was Louise. She wants to pop over,” she said, warily, “to meet you.” Scully raised her eyebrows curiously. “Is that all right?” asked Stella, watching Scully closely.

 

“Sure,” said Scully.

 

“It’s not awkward?”

 

“Why? Because she’s your fuck-buddy?”

 

Stella blanched at the crude term.

 

“Stella, it’s fine,” Scully said, smiling. “Really. I was just teasing you.”

 

Stella took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She wasn’t sure how comfortable she was with this.

 

Louise would be over within the hour, so they ate their dinner. They were just finishing cleaning up when they heard the knock at the door.

 

Scully couldn’t say what she was expecting, but she never could’ve imagined the girl she was shaking hands with at the moment. Louise was tall—that was the first thing Scully had noticed—and lanky with shoulder length wavy, brown hair. Her face was clean from makeup besides the thickly kohl-lined eyes, a faint smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks.  She had on a kelly green shirt that said ‘Girls invented punk rock not England’ on the front of it; a worn leather jacket; a short, pleated red and black plaid skirt over black tights; and combat boots. Stella, used to Louise’s eclectic fashions, couldn’t help but smile. Louise had a charming, easy air about her, making people comfortable instantly no matter what she was wearing.

 

They congregated in the kitchen, Scully sitting on the only bar stool with Louise and Stella leaning on the island on either side of her. It made her feel a little on the spot, like she was on display, but Louise’s casual attitude put her at ease.

 

Stella offered her wine which she accepted, and didn’t bat an eye at neither Scully nor Stella joining her. Louise knew that Scully was the person with whom Stella had been hung up on, but she didn’t know any of their history or that Scully was pregnant.

 

Louise looked at Scully thoughtfully. “Dana, you remind me of someone.” Scully had introduced herself as Dana.

 

Scully shook her head slightly, unable to help her figure it out. Then Louise snapped her fingers and pointed at her. “The Lazarus Bowl!”

 

Scully’s cheeks reddened.

 

“Scully, right? Dana Scully?” Louise had remembered the name of the character in that God-awful movie, and Stella had also referred to her by her surname before. “Was that really based off of you?”

 

“Unfortunately, yes,” Scully groaned.

 

Stella stiffened as she watched Louise put the pieces together.

 

“That’s why we saw that,” Louise mused, looking at Stella, “and that’s why--”

 

Stella gave her a warning glare; Louise took the hint. “Never mind,” she said, sheepishly.

 

Scully glanced at Stella who just shrugged as if she didn’t know that Louise was about to say that she had fingered her while watching Scully’s likeness on screen.

 

Never one to let the conversation stall, Louise continued, “No offence, but that film was rubbish.”

 

Scully chuckled. “None taken. I thought so, too.”

 

“What you’ve got goin’ on tomorrow night? My mate’s band is playing in Hackney if you guys want to come.”

 

“What’s the name of this band?” Stella asked with a grin.

 

“Anarch-Hysterectomy,” said Louise, coolly.

 

Stella laughed. “I’ve never heard the same band name twice out of all her mates’ bands,” she informed Scully.

 

“Stella here almost shot wine out her nose when I told her about Sticky Marmite Arseholes,” Louise joked, smirking.

 

Scully giggled and looked at Stella who was smiling and laughing. It was nice to see her relaxed and enjoying herself after the unexpected gloominess that had ended their museum trip. Then she turned back to Louise, still intrigued. “What kind of music is it?” she asked.

 

“They’re sort of like art punk.”

 

Scully looked at her, totally clueless.

 

“Like Talking Heads,” Louise offered.

 

“Ah, okay,” Scully said finally recognizing something that Louise was talking about.

 

“Well, let me know and I can have them put you on the list. It’s no bother if not.” She knocked back the last of her wine. “All right, I’m gonna bugger off. Dana, it was lovely to meet you.”

 

“Likewise,” Scully said, warmly.

 

“Stella, walk me out?” Louise said, winking and tilting her head towards the front door.

 

Stella looked at her confused, but followed her anyway.

 

When they got to the door, Louise dropped her voice to a whisper and said, “You’ve got something there with that one. You two are so bloody sweet together.”

 

Stella blushed slightly and smiled.

 

“And she looks at you like the sun fucking shines out your bum.”

 

“Doesn’t it, though?” Stella said, cheekily.

 

“Ha, yeah, right.” Louise started rummaging through her shoulder bag. “Listen, I got you something,” she whispered.

 

She handed Stella a paper bag. Stella pulled out the box inside. “Oh my God. Louise,” Stella said, amused.

 

It was a strap-on dildo.

 

“It’s just like mine, but flesh-colored because you said, ‘Isn’t the bright blue a bit off-putting?’” Louise mimicked Stella’s posh accent, and Stella huffed out a laugh. “So, you two kids have fun," she said, turning to leave. “Unless you want to have a three-way…” She raised her eyebrows, enticingly.

 

Stella chuckled and shooed her out the door. “Get outta here.”

 

She closed the door behind her, put the box back in the bag and placed it on the foyer table. She wasn’t going to show Scully just yet.

 

Scully was washing out Louise’s wine glass when Stella came back in.

 

“Well, that’s Louise,” she said.

 

“She is quite a character,” Scully remarked, drying her hands on a dish towel. “I like her. She’s a riot.”

 

“She fancied you, too,” said Stella. “I don’t know about you, but I’m knackered. Want to head up to bed and I’ll lock up down here?”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

Stella went around turning off the lights, checked the setting on the thermostat, and then grabbed Louise’s gift and headed upstairs, an impish smile playing on her lips.

 

Scully was sitting on the bed in her pajamas, rubbing her hands with lotion.

 

“So, Louise got us a present,” Stella teased when she came into the room. She took the box out of the paper sack and held it up for Scully.

 

Scully’s eyes widened before she burst out laughing. “Wow,” she said, “that girl is ballsy.”

 

“Actually, it doesn’t have balls,” said Stella, turning the package around to look at it.

 

Scully couldn’t stop giggling. “Ah, it feels so good to laugh,” she stated, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

 

Stella put the box on the top of her dresser and opened a drawer to get her nightgown. Scully watched her, her laughter subsiding. “Put it on,” she said, daringly.

 

Stella quirked an eyebrow at her. “Really?”

 

Scully nodded, her eyes filled with lust. Stella removed her sweater over her head. Underneath she had a pale pink camisole which she kept on as she undid the clasp of her slacks. She let them slide down her legs and then stepped out of them, all while staring at Scully, whose mouth hung slightly open with a quickened breath. Stella hooked her thumbs into her panties and peeled them down, slowly and seductively. She grabbed the box and walked over to stand in front of Scully while she opened it.

 

It was a simple design. All she had to do was step into it like a pair of underwear, which she did under Scully’s watchful gaze. Once it was snug around her hips, she gripped the shaft and stroked it.

 

“Wow, that’s hot,” Scully whispered breathlessly. She was unbelievably turned on.

 

“Wanna fuck?”

 

Scully could only nod.

 

“Then get that tight little pussy over here.”

 

Scully felt a gush of wetness between her thighs. She stood, the dlido poking her in the crotch. Scully increased its pressure against her as she pressed her body into Stella’s and kissed her. Her movements were slow, but hungry—needy. Stella met her with the same pace. Their tongues played, twirling around each other; their teeth lightly nipping at the soft flesh of their lips.

 

Scully was squeezing Stella’s bare ass cheeks, exposed by the harness. Stella had worked her hands in between them to unbutton Scully’s shirt. They were both grinding their hips into each other, searching for contact on their throbbing clits. Scully moaned desperately into Stella’s mouth, pulling away to rid herself of her clothing. Stella took her tank top off, leaving on her white lace bra. The lace was sheer, and Scully let out another throaty moan at the sight of her perked, rosy nipples showing through.

 

“Oh my God, you’re so sexy. I can’t handle it,” Scully whined. She crawled up on the bed, spread her legs and fingered her clit, leering at Stella. “Fuck me.”

 

Stella felt the same wild need seeing Scully, naked, laid out before her. She licked her lips, focusing on Scully’s cunt—wet, pink, luscious folds, her finger flitting over her plump bundle of nerves.

 

She climbed up and kneeled between Scully’s feet, dipping her head down to her lap. Stella snagged Scully’s finger gently between her teeth and sucked it into her mouth, tasting her arousal. She moved up Scully’s body with it still between her lips, rolling her tongue around it, not releasing the slender digit until she pressed her mouth against Scully’s.

 

Scully felt the rubber cock between her legs as Stella’s hot tongue invaded her mouth. Stella’s lace covered tits rubbed roughly against her taut, sensitive nipples. Scully felt light-headed from the agonizing pleasure of it all. Stella, still sucking at Scully’s lips, reached down to the dildo and ran the tip of it up and down Scully's drenched and swollen entrance. Then using her hand to guide it, she thrust her hips into Scully, the fake dick sliding deep inside her. Scully cried out at the sweet invasion of her aching pussy.

 

Scully’s intense physical reactions almost gave Stella the impression that she could feel her velvety walls squeezing around the shaft between her thighs. She began a pumping rhythm and Scully wrapped her legs around Stella’s hips. Stella looked down at Scully. Her full breasts were bouncing with their movement; her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth and her eyes squeezed shut; bracing herself for a strong climax which was building, quickly and fiercely.  

 

When it hit, Scully’s legs tightened around Stella—she could feel her thigh muscles quivering. Scully gripped fistfuls of the comforter in her grasp. A deep, drawn out sigh floated resonantly past her parted lips. Then her entire body relaxed except her chest which was heaving with heavy breaths. Her eyes fluttered open. “Holy fuck.”

 

Stella sat back on her heels, the dildo slipping out of Scully’s dripping cunt. She caressed Scully’s thighs, soothingly. Scully grabbed her hand and pulled her back down on top of her, then turned them over so she was straddling Stella’s hips, the toy resting against her stomach. She hovered over Stella, taking a moment to look deep into her eyes, before leaning down and beginning a wet trail with her tongue along Stella’s jawline, down her neck, to in between her breasts. She licked at the edge of the lace cups and then closed her lips around Stella's nipple. Stella arched her back into her, wanting more.

 

Scully sat up and tugged the lace down, wedging it under her tits. She thumbed Stella’s nipples while she kneaded the tender flesh. Stella hissed in pleasure. Still fondling her breasts, Scully scooted her knees down in between Stella’s legs while she kissed her way down Stella’s stomach. When her lips met the strap of the harness, she brought her hands down to grip the dildo and angled her body so she could get her mouth on Stella’s pussy.

 

Stella looked down the length of her body and moaned watching Scully work the cock with her hands, her head bobbing between her thighs as Scully pushed her tongue inside her. She was already close to an orgasm from fucking Scully, so as soon as Scully sucked her clit between her lips, Stella came.

 

Scully continued licking her until the waves of her climax ebbed. Then she crawled up and curled her body around Stella. They held each other until their panting breaths became quiet, Scully’s face tucked under Stella’s chin.

 

“We should send Louise a thank you note,” Scully said, chuckling.

 

Stella snickered. “Or a bloody fruit basket.”

 

Their bodies shook with laughter which made the rubber dick flop around between Stella’s legs, causing them to erupt into even more giggles.