Jim likes Bones’ hands. They’re one of his favorite things about Bones; his hands are up there with his rough accent, and the way he raises his eyebrow.
Right now, one of Bones’ great hands is wrapped around his cock, pulling and pumping, and the other gently stroking his balls. Bones’ hands feel big around him, all encompassing, and familiar.
Jim doesn’t register the movement at first, what with Bones’ tongue, warm, and rolling against his, but as Bones’ fingers creep further back to rub his perineum Jim starts to feel a sense of panic well up. He knows Bones won’t hurt him—he does know that—but his impulse is irrational fear when he feels the soft pad of Bones’ index finger trace across his puckered hole. He’s unable to hold back a reaction, not ready for someone else’s uninformed exploration of his body, even if it is Bones.
He hears himself yelling frantically, “Stop! No no no. Bones stop!” his hands clenched in the sheets, eyes squeezed closed, shaking his head.
Suddenly every trace of him is gone. Jim opens his eyes a crack, to see Bones standing, off the bed, with his hands open, palm facing Jim raised in surrender.
Jim isn’t sure how Bones got as far away from him as fast as he did. He hasn’t moved an inch since Jim opened his eyes and he’s surveying Jim with concern.
“…Bones? Oh god,” he rubs his brow, sitting up, “Shit, sorry, my bad.”
His tone is quiet, expression carefully neutral, keeping a non-threatening posture, “No Jim, I don’t want you to be sorry. I’ll be doing the apologizing.”
“I…What? No, Bones,” Jim’s scooting towards the edge of the bed closer to Bones, “would you come back here?”
Bones is the model of confusion, “Really? If you need a couple minutes, I understand. I’ll leave…Or I could get you a towel, or some water?”
“A towel? What? Bones, no, just let me—just come back here,” he reaches out for Bones’ hand.
Bones hesitates before asking, “You’d feel better if I was close to you?”
“Bones…fucking—I don’t know what you’re talking about. Yes! I want you to come here.”
He sits down gingerly, as though he's worried Jim will bolt. Cautiously, Bones sets a hand at the base of Jim's neck, he laces the other with one of Jim's making gentle circles with his thumb, “Would you tell me what I did darlin’? Did I hurt you?” He’s very quiet, and resonating sincerity.
“Of course not!” Seeing the look on Bones’ face, Jim quickly adds, “of course you didn’t hurt me.” Bones lets our a breath so big his shoulders sag. “I just panicked, it was stupid. Stop looking at me like that, I’m sorry okay?”
“Dammit Jim, don’t apologize. I want to know if I’m doing something you don’t like,” he gently rubs the back of Jim’s neck where his hand is resting, “Was it too rough? Too fast?”
Jim chews on his lip for a moment, he doesn’t want to admit what really bothered him. Instead he deflects, “Why’d you stop so quick?” Bones looks bewildered, so Jim continues, “It’s just, you got away from me really fast when I yelled, why?”
Bones’ brow is furrowed and he’s clearly unsettled, he looks right at Jim when he says, “Because you asked me to. You sounded…afraid.” They sit in silence for a minute before Bones asks hesitantly, “Am I the first person to stop when you asked?”
“No!” Jim says instantly, this is not where the conversation was supposed to go, “No, it’s not like that, Bones. …I mean, people’ve tried to convince me—you know, ‘baby com’on, let me,’ ‘I promise you’ll like it,’” Jim waves his hands dismissivly, “That shit—but if I didn’t want to we didn’t do it, not like you’re thinking…” Jim pauses for a second, trying to sum it up, “Nobody’s ever stopped cold though, not like that.”
Bones drags a hand across his face, like he’s trying very hard not to get worked up. He mutters something that sounds like ‘despicable’ before he turns his gaze back to Jim. He takes a few moments before he says, “Darlin’, sometimes I do things that are considered…non-conventional…and when you do those sorts of things, any hesitation of consent brings everything to a stop.” Jim tenses a little under his hands and Bones continues, “Now I know we’ve never talked about any of that—and we don’t have to if that’s not something you want—but I’m telling you this because it’s ingrained boundaries in me, and I want you to know that I will never, never Jim, do anything you do not want.”
“Bones,” Jim says, in an entirely unreadable tone, “Are you telling me you’re into hardcore, kinky sex?” his lips quip into the tinniest smirk.
His face flushes, not like he’s embarrassed, but maybe this isn’t the way he’d planned on telling Jim about this, “I know my way around the scene, Jim.” There’s no shame in his face, just openness, “But kid, don’t ever feel like I need that from you.”
Jim’s can tell he’s turned a deep shade of pink himself, and he’s not sure what’s more of a turn on, the whole slew of images that that is bringing to mind, or how completely sincere Bones is being. Jim shifts towards him and catches Bones’ lips between his own, pushing his fingers through Bones’ tangled hair. Bones kisses him back for several moments before breaking away. He holds Jim’s face in his hands, “You didn’t tell me why you needed me to stop, Jim.”
“It’s stupid, forget it.”
“It wasn’t stupid ten minutes ago…please.”
“I haven’t—You just…I’ve never,” Jim can’t seem to find the phrase he wants, and he won’t look Bones in the eye. “Promise you won’t laugh at me.”
“Sweetheart, I will not laugh.”
“…I’ve never done that before, it scares the hell out of me.”
Bones’ hands are still cradling his head, there’s no mocking undertone when he asks, “You’ve never done what before?”
“Jim, I know you’ve had sex…Unless I’m very confused about what you and Cadet Weaver were doing when I walked in on you last Spring…So you’ve never—”
Jim looks finally meeting Bones’ gaze, the flush in his faces is creeping down his neck, “I’ve never let anyone fuck me.”
“And it scares you?”
Jim nods, barley noticeable, as he pulls away from Bones, “It’s stupid. I know it’s fucking stupid.”
“I don’t think it’s stupid Jim.”
“It is because I’m fucking things up with you! Shit, I’m the worst at this…fucking pathetic. I’m being ridiculous, sorry, just forget it…” There’s a pause before Jim continues with a hint of his usual brand of cockiness, “Let me blow you?”
Bones regards him for a moment, shaking his head. He pulls Jim back towards him and kisses his forehead. “You don’t have to prove anything to me kid, and you’re not pathetic.”
“Most guys’d get offended if you turn down a blowjob,” Jim’s face flushes darker with embarrassment. There’s a pause that stretches a little longer than Jim cares for, “You’re not gonna start treating me like I’m breakable now are you?”
Bones gives him a small smile in return, “I’m not gonna treat you any different than I ever have.”
“Just so you know, I don’t think you’re some kind of sex god just because sometimes you tie people up and make them beg,” Jim says, pushing the attention back to Bones’ admission.
“I never said I tie people up.”
“I think we’ve done enough sharing tonight Jim.”
“Oh my god, you do! Kinky as hell Bones.”
“Wipe that smile off your face kid, you don’t even want to go there.”
“Maybe I do.”
Bones sighs, “So help me god, Jim, I will leave right now.”
“…You won’t though, right?” Jim asks, vulnerability creeping back into his tone.
“No darlin’, I won’t.” He squeeze Jim’s hand which has made it’s way back into his again. He pulls back the covers with his free hand and lays down “Lights: off.”
It doesn’t slip past him that Bones has ordered the lights off instead of to five percent like Jim knows he prefers, but what he’s really focused on is the fact that Bones has turned the lights down at all. “What are you doing?” Jim asks as he scoots under the covers, reaching for Bones in the darkness.
“As you’re so fond of pointing out, I’m old, and tired, so we’re going to sleep.”
“Just like that?”
“Yes Jim, just like this!”
“But I…don’t you…?” Jim’s hand slips down to find Bones’ cock, which is completely soft, “I guess you really don’t.”
Bones exhales with understanding, “Darlin’, I didn’t mean to leave you. Figured you wouldn’t want to after all that.”
Jim shifts, making his intentions to get out of the bed clear, “It’s not like I’ve forgotten how to do it myself,” petulance clouding his tone.
“Jim, damn it, get over here,” he says pulling the retreating body back towards him.
Jim presses himself flush against Bones’ chest, his head chin resting in the crook of Bones’ collarbone. Bones takes Jim in his hand, despite the fact that he’s only half hard, Jim trembles grateful for the contact.
“…more,” Jim whispers against his neck, it’s not a question or a command, just a shameless plea.
“Yes darlin’, I’ll give you more,” Bones says softly, running an unoccupied finger down Jim’s spine.
Jim whines as the friction increases, nipping at Bones’ neck, his cock swelling back to full hardness in Bones’ hand. He pants out several warm, wet breathes that linger against Bones’ skin as he pumps Jim smooth and fast. As it turns out, maybe Bones isn’t so disinterested after all, his cock stirring against his thigh as Jim moans.
Bones stops stroking for a moment, to rub the frenulum with his thumb. Jim’s body jerks against him and precome leaks out, pooling in Bones’ palm. He rubs it back into Jim’s pulsing flesh, returning to the firm pressure and quickened pace he knows Jim likes. His free hand cards through Jim’s short hair, with soothing consistency.
Jim can feel Bones’ cock, pressing insistently, dripping, against his torso, he tries to push himself impossibly closer, attempting to feel every inch of Bones. He lets out a honest whimper when Bones takes both of them in his hand.
“Do you like this Jim?”
Jim laughs, it’s throaty and broken by a moan before he says, “what do you think Bones?”
Bones nips at his earlobe, “I think I want you to tell me if you like it.”
“Ahhhha—fuck! Yes, yes!” Jim’s blunt nails dig into Bones’ back. His breathing has gone ragged, it’s as though every point of contact between he and Bones is electrified.
Bones sucks at his neck, kissing the purpling flesh. His teeth graze the spot as Jim ruts into his hand, against his cock. Bones tightens his grip around them, stroking them together, urging Jim on.
“Boooones,” Jim cries as he shudders and goes rigid; thick streams of come coat Bones’ chest and spatter against Jim’s chin. In the midst of his high Jim sinks his teeth into the tense muscle of Bones’ shoulder, pushing him over the edge. Bones’ hand tightens in Jim’s hair and he comes with a groan, spilling between them, over his hand and Jim’s spent cock.
They lay still against each other, Jim unwilling to let go of Bones for several moments. His uneven breath ghosting over Bones’ sweat-slick skin.
There’s come everywhere, sticky and cooling, but for once, Bones doesn’t seem to mind. “Lights: twenty percent.” He pulls Jim back just enough to see his face. Jim tries to hide his giant dorky grin, in the dim glow before Bones kisses him hard on the mouth. “You look real pretty like that, darlin’,” Bones tells him when they break.
Jim’s grin turns into an open mouthed laugh, his head lolling back as he does. He kisses Bones back after a moment. “You’re a mess,” Jim says surveying him.
Bones raises an eyebrow with all the intension of a scowl, but none of the malice and Jim laughs again. He reaches for a long forgotten t-shirt on the floor, and wipes at Bones’ chest. Bones cleans his hand on the cotton as best he can before sagging against the bed.
“Leave it, I am too damn tired for this.”
Jim shoots him a look of disbelief.
“I am not taking a shower and changing the sheets tonight,” Bones insists as he rolls over.
He climbed across Bones, to the unsoiled side of the bed, curling up with his back to Bones’ chest. “Lights: five percent,” Jim tells the computer, and he feels Bones smile against his neck
“Thanks for not being a dick about…you know.”
“Well fuck me, I’m sleeping with a goddamn poet.”
Jim laughs again, tension draining out of his shoulders. He settles, quiet, with Bones’ arms wrapped around him, feeling the reassuring pattern of breathing, wondering what he’s done to deserve this.