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The things I do

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“I think it suits you. You should play it with a sort of sad reluctance and confusion.”


“Remember, you’re going in there, but when you come out, you’re a star!”

“You’re just jealous. Hannibal gets to meet all the cute girls before he eats them.”


“Can you even see outta that thing, Hannibal?” Bosco leaned in, inspecting the suit.

John Hannibal Smith was a lot of things. A planner. A schemer. A provider. And that meant when they were low on money, certain odd jobs had to be picked up. It was good practice, gave him time to work on the prosthetics he was experimenting with. Of course, that meant, every once in awhile, his boys got to see him in costume.

Though to be fair, this wasn’t as bad as the time they saw him in the homeless woman with the warts getup. The ribbing had been merciless from that one, and since the costume required him to stoop his tall frame almost double, he hadn’t been able to give them the ass-kicking they deserved.

He was able to ‘accidentally’ smack Face in the stomach with his tail when he turned to look at Murdock. “I’ll have you know that girls love to talk to the guy in the creature suit.”

“Why aren’t they doing CGI on you?” Murdock asked, tipping his hat back and poking at the rubber and latex skin that covered his commander. “Most of the Scifi movies playing now are CGI.”

“They want to start a renaissance movement based on the old cult horror movies. With any luck, this will spawn a lot of work for me. And,” He lifted one latex claw on the three fingered glove, “no one will know its me and the billing is for John Smith. How many John Smith’s do you know of? It’s a great cover.”

“Man, what if the military catches up to us when you in that suit?”

“They probably won’t be able to do anything because they’ll be laughing so hard.” Face rubbed at his stomach.

“Hannibal, I see your zipper.” Murdock poked at his thigh.

“Damn! I worked on this suit all night. Face, get the superglue, no, over there. I have to film a scene soon.”

“Man, I can just see this on the news later. John Hannibal Smith captured wearing rubber suit. That brings up all kinds of bad imagery boss.”

“Well, when your schemes involving our money and shady investments start doing more than break even, I’ll consider putting up the suit. But for now, I have to shoot the emergence scene. Can you believe the director wants me to stay four full minutes underwater? It’s no wonder they didn’t manage to keep their last actor.”

“Uh…how are you going to do it?”

“I had Bosco rig me a breathing apparatus for the suit. Worse comes to worse, they can CGI out the bubbles.”

“Man, when you told me you needed that I was picturing some sort of awesome boat mission. This is messed up.”

“Need to have basic living expenses. Now, Murdock, remember to get a copy of my scenes from film today. I’ll need them for my resume. And keep an eye out-there’s supposed to be an eighties pop star in a leading role, and I’m supposed to shoot with them this afternoon.”

Murdock grinned and pulled out a black book and waved it-when he heard Hannibal would be in show business, he promptly ran off to grab an autograph book. Granted, anything above C-listers and the occasional B-lister wouldn’t be around, but it gave Murdock something to do and it also gave them signature styles for Face to emulate for cons.

Always a Plan.

But, for now, he needed to get to the set.