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The Last Man On Earth, Alien, And A Bag Of Chips

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“The last man on earth stood in silence. Where would he go? What would he do? How would he –“

“If I’m the last, who’s narrating this?” the last man asked, and silence fell for a few moments.

“It’s… uh…”

“Alien, is that you?” the man asked as he peeked behind a big rock.

“Totally not.” Alien replied, hiding behind the rock.

“Dude, do you have chips?” Man asked, and Alien moved just a bit, covering the bag behind him.

“Go away.” Alien pouted. Since Man was the last man on earth there were no men left to make chips. This was the last bag of chips, and Alien had no intentions whatsoever to sharing it with anyone.

“Scoot over.” Man demanded, and sat next to Alien. “You narrated me, I think that means I’m allowed to have some of your chips.”

Alien frowned. Who was Man to demand such things? It was outrageous, but Alien did as Man said and placed the bag between the two of them.

“So, last bag of chips, huh?” Man sighed.

“Yeah, Man. I’ve been saving it up for a long time.” Alien replied.

Silence lingered between the two, and Alien gazed out in the empty horizon, and then…

- crunch –

Alien and Man turned to glare at each other.

“If I’m to share with you, the least you could do would allow me to have the first chips!” Alien proclaimed.

“What are you talking about, I didn’t take it!” Man snapped back, and scowled at Alien.

Then, as a realization, Alien’s expression turned from upset to that kind of confused that made him look quite adorable.

“Wait, Man. If you’re the last man, then I was narrating you, and now we’re here… Who’s narrating our argument?” Alien asked, and Man’s eyes widened as if they would fall out of his skull any time.

Man frowned.

“This is ridiculous, my eyes are not that wide!” he complained with his sulky voice. If one were to be honest, he sounded a bit like a child, and you could clearly see a blush rising in his cheeks.

“No, stop it right now!” Man yelled into the evening, and stood on his feet. He placed his big hands on his manly hips and tried his best to look terrifying. Until now Alien had managed to keep from breaking into laughter, but at this point it became too much. A chuckle started to bubble in Alien’s chest, making its way up Alien’s throat and finally out in the open.

Man turned to glare at Alien, a glare that was clearly intended to kill, but looking more like a sulk.

“That’s it. Woman, where are you?!” Man sighed, and Alien rolled on the ground, laughing with full power.

A giggle could be heard from above them, and when Man looked up at the Rock again he could see a beautiful lady with lovely, blonde curls. With a smirk she slid down and took Man’s former place next to Alien, and grabbed a handful of chips.

“Woman!” Man complained.

“Man!” Woman replied happily, and crunched at her chips.

“Alien!” Alien countered, still grinning hugely.

Man turned to Alien and scoffed.

“Why is she getting chips?” he asked sulkily with that baby voice of his.

“She’s funny.” Alien retorted as Man turned back to Woman with another adorable glare.

“Wait, I thought you said I was the last man on earth?” Man asked after a moment, and Alien nodded.

“I did. She must be the last woman. Right, Woman?” Alien asked with his mouth full of chips.

“Of course I am!” Woman declared, finishing her handful of chips, and slowly licked her fingers of the delicious chip taste.

“Do you have to narrate everything?” Man complained with his gradually more and more annoying voice.

“Yes, I do.” Woman replied, and offered some chips to Man as a peace offering.

Man accepted and sat down in front of Alien and Woman. Together they ate in silence, slowly emptying the last bag of chips.