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The one upping contest

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Saitama doesn't know why he agreed to go out with Genos to his place of work. Here Genos was known as Gene, rank 6 in popularity at the Paradise night club, his face was plastered on the front of the building for crying out loud!

Tonight Genos charmed his suit to appear white with an open collar pink dress shirt, and spiked up his blonde hair. He looked good, but his appearance was so plastic to the point Saitama wondered why no one else noticed. Maybe it's because they lived together now he can see the differences?

Saitama wore his salaryman suit and took up his usual place sitting alone at bar, then ordered his usual club soda. Not that he couldn't drink alcohol, but he got these free from the bartender. It tasted like nothing, but he looked less like a weirdo with a drink in his hand.

The place was full of young guys just like Genos, all of them hot like an anime protag. He watched Genos act like a prince, flirting up all the girls and convincing them to buy more drinks. Saitama heard the set up for a joke and the roar of laughter. He had never heard Genos's laugh before, but he could tell it was rehearsed and Genos wasn't listening to them, not really. His eyes lacked their normal intensity. He was totally different from home; he lost that periment scowl, and traded it for a fake smile.

Saitama had no idea what to expect, before coming in Genos said he would give him a signal, but He had no idea what that would be, so he waited anxiously, drinking his club soda.

Sometime later he saw Genos stand with a girl wrapped around his arm and shot him a look that was too flirtatious to be a glance.

Saitama wondered, 'Was that the signal?' He watched them go into a private booth and Saitama slipped in behind them unnoticed.

Gold eyes lock on the bald vampire when he entered. Saitama watched for a moment as Genos held the girl close and deep kissed before sitting in the booth behind her. Genos presented the girl's slim neck to his master.

Saitama couldn't believe they were really doing this, or that it actually worked! He could see her veins pulse, feel the heat of her body, and smell the copperyness of her blood. Saitama followed his inhuman instincts and sank his fangs into her flesh.

Genos could feel her arousal spike at the bite. He watched as his Master drank and Genos fed off the blossoming arousal of the girl though their kiss. It was so much richer than when Genos was alone, a vampire's bite was amazing at opening up the hearts darkest desires. Genos found his own desires opening up watching Saitama suck. He felt himself growing long, and pressed against the girl, pushing her closer to Saitama.

Saitama saw gold on black eyes half lidded, and full of lust watching him as he fed. Saitama found himself wanting to stop rather than forcing himself to stop. He pulled away and said, "Tastes like ketchup." After Genos, human blood was just plain.

"Saitama," Genos whispered to him. Saitama's eyes were crimson, and fangs bloody, but Genos couldn't help himself. He leaned in and kissed Saitama on the mouth. He got goosebumps at the metallic taste of blood.

Saitama was apprehensive for only a moment then pushed into the kiss, open mouthed. Tongues darted in and out as the kiss became more passionate, he threaded his fingers through Genos' hair and felt himself stiffen as the kiss deepened.

They moved closer, the girl caught between them as their kiss grew more heated. Their bodies rubbed against her's in a rut. Genos moaned into Saitama's mouth and push her out of way to get closer to his master and the girl landed unceremoniously in the booth, passed out.

"Shit. She ok?" Saitama pulled away mildly concerned.

Genos checked for a pulse, "She's fine. just drunk," he smiled sweetly, "Are you still hungry? I can go get another."

Saitama thought about it. Maybe it was just this girl that tasted off, "Ok, but let's get her cleaned up first," Genos propped her up and Saitama licked the wound closed.

After a little memory eraser, Genos helped walk her out and returned the girl to her friends which caused enough of a distraction for Saitama to slip back to the bar. In seconds Genos was back to his princely self, eyes sparkling, taking the time to explain she overexerted herself and fell asleep and that they should get her home and give her plenty of fluids.

‘He must be using a charm, so they don't question him.’ Saitama surmised. Saitama had a moment to himself too long and what happened hit him. 'What the fuck?' Saitama remembered how good kissing Genos tasted with the blood, how hot it ways when Genos ran his tongue over saitama's fangs, or how they were both using that girl to get off from kissing. Saitama put his head in his hands and felt like he would die of embarrassment.


The days pass and Genos was back and forth between their apartment and the butcher's shop, experimenting with recipes to make blood: soda, smoothies, popsicles, pudding, and chips. Noodles were still proving a challenge, but as long as they were prepared cold or eaten quickly, they held their shape.

Hunting together had gotten easier. They worked out better signals and chose more secluded locations. Genos watched as Saitama grew more confident with the routine each night.

Tonight there was someone new at the bar. Slim frame, in a high cut dress with long black hair. Saitama sat next to her, her grey eyes met his, but her smile was a little too wicked.

She downed her drink and asked, "Want to get out of here?"

Saitama raised an eyebrow, 'Maybe a prostitute?' He thought and gave a signal to Genis for "out back" as he was led off, by the slim woman.


Sonic prefered to work alone and his preferred method of hunting was bait and switch. He'd dressed in women's clothing and pretend to be a single girl having a night on the town, the prefered victim of vampires. Once a vampire zeroed in on him as the helpless prey, he would lead them off and steak their hearts.

Tonight he has caught wind of suspicious activity and has come hunting. If there was a vampire here it wouldn't take long to find it. He hadn't been there an hour when one of the undead strolled up to him. There was no mistaking the movement of a predator; footsteps too soft, body too fluid and he wasn't even hiding his gaunt cheeks, pale skin, racoon eyes, or pointed ears.

Sonic smiled. It was all too easy.

He lead the bald man out into the alleyway and pulled him in close for a kiss, but Sonic slipped up and his bad habit, a wide creepy grin, gave him away and the vampire caught the wooden stake in his hand.

‘That shouldn't be possible!’ Sonic was faster than anything living or undead, a vampire should NOT have been fast enough to stop him.

“You will pay for that!” Sonic growled, ego more than a little bruised.

At the speed of thought, Sonic dropped the stake and with his other hand pulled a silver dagger from under his dress and aimed it for the vampire's heart.

The vampire caught the dagger in his hand and snapped it.


'Not only can he touch it, he can break it?' There was no such monster that could touch the purity of silver and this monster just broke it! Sonic's instincts were screaming danger. He turned to run but the vampire grabbed him. Sonic kicked to knock the vampire back but baldy was like stone. He was in deep shit.

"She giving you trouble?" a voice from the dark asked.

'Another one?' Sonic thought, but was still locked tight in an iron grip.

"i dont think it's a girl," the vampire replied in a near bored tone.

"Doesn't matter to me," Sonic saw inhuman yellow on black eyes as the newcomer stepped into the street light.

'Fuck this one's a devil!' Sonic struggled harder, but baldy wasn't letting go and the devil pressed its chest to his back. Instantly Sonic felt the heat coil in his gut and Sonic caught his breath coming out like pants, 'Is this monster charming me? Is this MOTHER FUCKER an incubus? What's an incubus doing with a vampire anyway? Since when do monster work together!? Who gave them permission to get organized?!'

The vampire moved forward and squeezed sonic
between them, in a hot ménage à trois Sonic was unprepared for. Then he felt fangs pierce his skin and all panic was replaced with lust.

He heard the incubus whisper in his ear, "Do you want me to put it in you?"

Sonic felt a hard shaft push up against his ass and mewed weakly as a reply.

The incubus humed, "Do you want me to come in you?"

Sonic couldn't hold back his moan when he felt the cock in front grind on his own wet and hard shaft. Sonic was oh so turned on being trapped between them.

'Death by threesome was a hell of a way to go!' He closed his eyes and thought.

The build up was coming, getting him closer and closer, then suddenly it stopped. No more heat, no more sucking, no nothing! All that was left was just an aching hard on! Sonic's eyes flew open in a rage to find the two monsters making out. Sonic was pissed.

"What the fuck?!" He yelled.

The two monsters looked at sonic as if they forgot he was there and the bald vampire had a stupid confused expression, "Do you want us to help finish you off?"

'What kinda fool question is that?' Sonic thought and then said, "It'd be nice before you kill me!"

the bald vampire's eyebrows scrunched together, "We don't kill. That's not what we're about."

"And we don't "help" either." The blond incubus said in a disgusted tone.

They drop him and made moves to walk away. Leaving him stranded with a wet stain on his dress and blue balls.

Sonic turned red as a tomato, "I will get you for this! mark my words you will pay for this humiliation!" He yelled as he covered his aching boner then in a blink, he was gone.


Later somewhere in the abandoned zone Licenceless Rider was tending to Sonic's bite mark.

“I told not to play with your kills. Justice should be swift and-”

“Ok Mum!” Sonic yelled like a scolded teenager.

“You're lucky you didn't get turned!” Rider chastised.

“I've told you before, I'm a slayer! Vamps don't have that effect on me! Beside there were two of them....”

"Two vampires! Gosh darn it!" Rider doesn't like to curse and always tried to use the lesser version, "I knew I shouldn't have let you go alone! Next time you -"

Sonic cut Rider off before he got full into lecture mode, “One was an incubus!" he blurted out.

Rider was completely derailed, if the height of his bows above his glasses could be trusted, “Why's a devil with a vampire?"

“That's what i said!” Sonic said vindicated.

Rider became deathly serious, "What happened. tell me everything."

Sonic looked away in shame, "There's not much to tell. They toyed with me and let me go. Said killing wasn't what they were about."

Rider crossed his arms in thought, "That's true. There have been no reports of casualties. Only suspicious reports of loss time, lightheadedness, and memory loss. Is it possible they're not evil?"

Sonic gave him that not amused look, "Does it matter? They're monsters and they're eating people."

“But no one's died.”


Rider wanted to argue, but knew Sonic was right and drop it, "We'll have to watch them more closely."

"There's something else......" Sonic started to say, "that vamp..... he caught my dagger."

Rider jumped but regained his cool, "Even more reason to gather information."