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The one upping contest

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Genos officially moves in and Saitama was surprised, for a well off guy like Genos he didn't own a lot of stuff.

"Where's your stuff? I know my place isn't big, but I can make room in the closet," Saitama looked to the living room, arms crossed, "and we'll have to make sleeping arrangements, but we can make it work."

"Master Saitama there is no need to concern yourself," Genos paused so Saitama can look at him, "I just have the one suit and I do not require sleep, so no arrangements have to be made."

“Oi, what about all those fancy clothes you wear?”

Genos looked puzzled. "It is a mere illusion." As a demonstration light sparkled and the suit was suddenly a black tux, another flash and it waz snakeskin, "Men's fashion is simple. I copy the trends from magazine covers by adjusting the color and texture of the cloth."

Saitama maked a whistling sound from his lips. 'he really did walk off the cover of a teen idol magazine' he thought.

"Wow! How long can you hold that?” Saitama asked.

“Days. Weeks if necessary. My former Mistress," Genos's tone deepend in disgust at the mention, "was adamant about holding charms and illusions."

"Wait, I thought…." Saitama focused his curiosity on Genos, "Doesn't using magic like that drain you?"

"It does." Genos was curt, tone clipping at the words.

Saitama doesn't notice and carries on with his questions, "Why would she-"

Genos cut him off yelling angrily with a snarl and a cross face, "BECAUSE SHE IS A VILE WITCH THAT GETS OFF ON HUMILIATION AND SUBMISSION!!!!"

Saitama's eyebrows shot up, eyes popped open, and mouth shut closed.

Genos caught himself and schooled his attitude, "I am sorry master. I did not mean to snap like that." Now he looked ashamed and wont meet Saitama's eyes.

"It's ok, my fault for bringing it up," Saitama didn't expect for Genos to have a temper, but it comes with being roommates, always new things to learn, and Saitama let it slide. Seemed like the topic really bothered Genos anyway. "So you don't have any clothes? Not even a sleeping shirt or a bed? Not even a toothbrush?" Saitama's voice squeaked at the end. "Geeze, what are you doing with all that money?"

Genos spoke matter of fact, "I found work so that I could sustain myself. Having funds is just a side effect. I only had an apartment to maintain the appearance of normalcy."

“Ok. No more of that. we are getting you a toothbrush and other stuff you need.”


While in the store Saitama grabbed a cart and systematically walked through the store grabbing things off the shelf and throwing them in the cart.

"Mas-" Genos stopped himself in time and covered it up with a cough, "Saitama. This is not necessary." In a low voice he added, "I'm not human."

Saitama shot him a look, "Me neither, but I still need a bed and blackout curtains and a TOOTHBRUSH!" They move down another isle. "how have you been keeping clean?"

"A cleansing spell.... " Genos felt the need to elaborate, "it removes all dirt."

"So does a shower and body wash." Saitama responded plainly. "Here, Pick one." Saitama held up a red bottle and a black one.


"Shower?" Genos frowned in confusion, "Doesn't running water hurt vampires?" It was nice being in a store just before closing. It meant no one was around to hear their conversation.

"Does it?" Saitama shrugged wearing his yellow oppai hoodie, "Haven't noticed. But, I do get pinker when I step out. Always thought it was the hot water. "

The intercom beeped and a tired voice came on, "Attention valued customers the store will be closing in," a pause, "ten minutes. Please make your final selections and bring them to central check out. Thank you." Click.

Saitama maked a face. Did they really need to do that? They know genos and him are the only ones here. Saitama sighed he knows the store actually closes in 15 minutes, he turned back to Genos and asked, "which one?"

Genos eyes dart from left to right, watching the bottles like they held the fate of his future, "Which do you get?" Genos asked back.

"Usually whatever's cheap."

"Then i shall also get that"

"Oh I thought..."


Nevermind. It's dum." Saitama turned away.

Genos put his hand on saitama's before he could replace the body wash. "Thought what?" he asked quietly.

Saitama gulped, “That you'd want something nice smelling," Saitama was averting his eyes and his cheeks were dusty pale.

'This is what Master is like when he is shy.’ Genos notices, “Master must have picked these fragrances for me to choose from because he wants to smell them on me!' With that in mind Genos took each in hand and sniffed the bottles. Then declared the black one the winner.

Saitama smiled a genuine smile, "I like that one too."

Genos's time slowed to a stop that such a small gesture could make his wonderful Master smile like that, genos felt himself smiling too.

Under Genos' stare Saitama awkwardly said, "I guess we better check out..."

It was the middle of the week, not even a sale day, but they got what they needed as far a sleepover items were concerned and because it was closing the cashier didn't bother fighting about expired coupons, an added bonus.

They both carried the bags out, then Saitama said outside the store, "ahhh I missed this," Genos lifted his head to look at him, "Just being out shopping, hunting sales and stuff. But all the good sales are during the day. I miss them." Genos can tell he misses more than just sales.


After his Master's lament about missing a normal life, Genos wanted to give back what Saitama had lost and turned to the internet for research.

During the day, a large crate is delivered outside the apartment.

“What's all this?” Saitama asked puzzled.

“An experiment.” Genos answered in full confidence, “Master have you tried to eat food since becoming a vampire?”

Saitama was thrown off by the question, “When I did, I'd throw it back up, so I assumed I couldn't.”

Genos came together and he hummed in thought, "I have a theory that blood can be shaped into food, but still fundamentally stay blood." As Genos talks he removes items from the crate and set them up in the kitchen, "With Master's permission I want to try experimental cuisine, so I bought a Molecular Gastronomy Kit."

"a what?" Saitama was far out of his element when he saw labels like; fuming flasks of liquid nitrogen, led-blinking water baths, syringes, tabletop distilleries, PH meters and shelves of food chemicals with names like carrageenan, maltodextrin and xanthan.

Genos continued with his explanation, "Molecular Gastronomy or experimental cuisine is the application of scientific principles to the understanding and improvement of small scale food preparation. It seeks to investigate the physical and chemical transformations of ingredients that occur in cooking under different temperatures, pressures and other scientific conditions blending physics and chemistry to transform the tastes and textures of food.

“Molecular gastronomy is revolutionizing traditional cooking and transforming dining into a surprising emotional and sensory experience. experiments have resulted in new innovative dishes like hot gelatins, airs, crab ice cream, olive oil spiral, Cocktails in ice spheres, Caviar made of olive oil, And Disappearing transparent raviolis to name a few.

Genos was scowling and staring down at his countertop turned workbench. "The "chemicals" used in molecular gastronomy are all of biological origin. Even though they have been purified and some of them processed, the raw material origin is usually marine, plant, animal or microbial. These additives have been approved by EU standards and are used in very, very small amounts. The science lab equipment used just helps modern gastronomy cooks to do simple things like maintaining the temperature of the cooking water constant in a water bath, cooling food at extremely low temperatures fast with liquid nitrogen or extract flavor from food via evaporator,

Genos became more serious and his scowl deepen, "Steps need to be followed in a very specific sequence or the whole dish may be a disaster. Quantities are measured in fractions of a gram or fractions of a percentage. Slight variations in food acidity levels could be disastrous for some dishes. Later I'll have to analyze the molecular make-up of the ingredients with an infrared spectrometer nuclear magnetic resonance machine; equipment usually used by synthetic chemists and physicists, but I feel with the right leverage I can obtain one."

“Genos I don't understand a word of this. Keep it to 20 words or less." Saitama said it more like a whine than in actual anger.

Genos’ eyebrows shot upward in surprise, "I want to cook blood meals for you. So you can eat food again."

Saitama nearly stuttered, “Ge-Genos you don't gotta do that!" saitama looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous habit maybe? "Where did you even get this? how much did you pay for all this?

“¥28000.00 on amazon.”

saitama sputtered. "Genos what the hell!"

"Master saitama, are you….displeased?" Genos looked let down.

"You Don't have to spend all your money on me!"

“not hardly. I just used this weeks earnings.”

Saitama whispered like it was a secret, "Genos that's still a lot of money!"

“Master I don't have normal human expenses, not to mention I earn a paycheck and work for tips.”

"I just don't want to be a mooch."

Genos face got softer, "You aren't. You are my wonderful master. Anything I can do to fulfill your desires, I will make it happen."

Saitama let go of a losing fight, "did you get anything for yourself in here?"

“I.... don't eat master.”

“Oi? i thought you could.”

“I'm able to, but I have no functional need for it.”

“So what was your plan? Make dinner and watch me eat?” Saitama raised one brow and all he received was silence. Saitama mumbled under his breath, "You're so weird." Then spoke up, "If you're going to spend money on me your gonna get stuff for yourself, and we'll eat together." He smiled, "ok?"

Genos was ecstatic, "YES MASTER!"

“First off, I'll show you how to shop for sales and clip coupons.”

Saitama sat Genos down at the table and goes over the finesse of extreme couponing. Genos was diligently taking notes on his phone when Saitama announced they're going out for a field test.

“Right now? But it's day time." Genos scrambled to keep up.

“Yeah that's the best time for a sale.”

“what about the sun?!" Genos put on his charm as he trailed after saitama through the door.

Saitama wasn't even bothering to cover up. "I'll just work on my tan."


Saitama looked like a golden god walking in the supermarket and there was a spark in Saitama's eye Genos hadn't seen before. It's like his Master had truly come alive explaining price cuts, quality of off-name brands, and the importance of stacking coupons. It was an inspiration to Genos, that so much enjoyment could be taken from the ordinary of the everyday.



To Saitama's dismay you cannot buy blood on sale at the local grocer.

Genos used his smart phone and found a local butcher. It was an all organic, no torture, hipster place that made Saitama frown at the prices, but Genos was committed to this whole turn blood into food thing, so Saitama stepped outside to not gawk at the total cost. It was a nice day, a light breeze had the first crisp of autumn and the sun was bright. Maybe a little too bright. Saitama looked out into the street of shoppers and could see and hear their hearts beating as they hurried by. He didn't like it, but it was getting close to time to feed again, and also a job. He spent a good chunk of his savings on stuff for genos and a new game would be coming out soon. As saitama contemplated job hunting, the bell rang on the little shop and Genos stepped out.

"Was the blood real expensive?" Saitama asked thinking he would have to find a way to pay Genos back.

"Actually, blood doesn't have a price and we had to negotiate a sale for it. He was concerned I was over paying and gave me some bones for free."

Saitama beamed, "That's great! Rover will love that." They turned to walk back home, "So what did you tell him you need the blood for?"

Genos looked away with a cautious expression, "To make dog food." Genos expected his master to be miffed, referring to him as a dog, but saitama just snickered. His master really was not bothered by much, in the best ways.


They make it home and Saitama started to put away groceries in the empty fridge. Genos walked over to Rover's "spot", a corner of the apartment.

Rover was laying on his bed still in recovery from the turn and gave the devil a low growl. Geons dropped a sizeable thigh bone in front of the were-beast's nose. They still don't get along, but they aren't currently at war. Genos hoped this would be a peace offering to the monster, so to be aloud closer to Saitama.

Rover gave it a sniff then gnawed his bone.

‘Time will tell.’ Genos thought.

Genos joins saitama in the kitchen where the bald man was rubbing the back of his neck, "Since you're gonna be doing all the cooking." He started, "I got you something" and handed genos a bag.

apprehensive Genos opened the bag and pulled out a simple pink apron. In the blink of an eye he was back in the mansion, on his knees, scrubbing floors, in nothing but a maid's apron as the witched laughed.

A second later and he was back, heart beating fast, "Will I be wearing only the apron?" Genos asked slowly.

Saitama blushed and pus his hands up defensively. Only making sounds as he faltered for the right words. Genos realized Saitama really was just doing this out of the kindness of his heart, so he smirked smugly and teased him, "do you want me to only wear the apron?"

Saitama blushed more and stuttered. Genos lightened his smile and took Saitama's hand. "Thank you," Genos would not force his Master into intimacy, but it was still fun to tease.

Saitama finally finds his voice, "You're weird for a demon."

"I am a devil. Demons are different." Genos dawned his apron and set to work.

“What's the difference?”

“Demons are unique soldiers forged from sin and deal in soul trade. Devils are simple, basic, mass produced slaves that deal in sin."

Saitama had that glazed over look like he does when he's lost. Genos looked for a prop to demonstrate, "Devils are like foil."-pulls sheet- "Durable but disposable."-wods up foil-"another can easily be summoned as a replacement."-pulls new sheet.-"Both require contracts, but fundamentally differ in cost."

Saitama looked at the wadded up foil then back to Genos, "Dude you're not replaceable."

“There are many more like me to take my place if I fall." Genos busied himself pulling out a pot to boil water.

“You are you. And there's no one like you. That makes you valuable.”

Genos idlily stirred the pot not looking at his master, "I am a thing..."

Saitama learned forward grabbing his attention, “You're your own person. Not a thing, not a slave, and definitely not disposable." They stand there starting into each others eyes as more than just the pot heats up. Saitama seemed to suddenly realize his proximity and jerked back. He looked away rubbing at the back of his neck again, "I'll just hop in the shower and let you cook. "

Genos had never met someone so real, and so genuine in their feelings. His master showed real concern, compassion, and was so cute when acting shy. Genos couldn't stop the smile on his face, he felt so lucky to have a master he could only dream of. It only made him want to care for his master more.

Genos knew the feelings of loneliness, isolation, and sadness his master feels will not go away overnight or that because he is smiling now that he does not still feel it, but all the more reason to take things step by step. He would gain his Master's trust and slowly work toward intimacy.

His master was worth the wait, but....there was still the matter of feeding. Genos needed to feed daily to maintain his magic and so did Saitama for his health. If his master was unwilling to co-feed, they would have to go out at night. Perhaps his master would like to hunt together?

Genos considered how to bring up the topic, while he prepared dinner. Making ramen for himself was easy enough, but getting the blood and the chemicals to work together was proving to be a challenge. Genos expected the process to be much easier than this, but forming noodles was proving to be much harder than anticipated. As soon as he thought he got it right, it would fall apart with little to no explanation. Genos clicks his tongue at another failed attempt. He wasn't getting anywhere and soon his master would be out.


Saitama stepped out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam wearing only his white bath towel.
"How's dinner comin' buddy?" He called out and walked to the living room.

Genos started talking but suddenly blurted out "MASTER?! What happened to your skin!" Genos was yelling like the house caught on fire and looked like he saw a ghost.

"This?" Saitama looked down at his arm, "Oh. I told you, I turn a little pink. "

"That is more than a little pink!" Saitama was red as a lobster from head to toe. Master saitama was going to prove a challenge to care for.

Later, after cooling down and turning back to normal, Saitama put on his lounge clothes and set at the table as Genos brought out their bowls.

Genos set down a soup bowl of red beads, "Hu? Did we buy roe?"

Genos explained, "It is blood "caviar." I wanted to make noodles so we could have ramen together, but they kept falling apart. I don't seem to be ready for noodles yet, so I went with the easier droplets. I hope Master finds it to his liking." Genos looked apprehensive.

"As long as you tried your best." Saitama picked up his spoon and dug in.

Genos watches closely when saitama's eyes go wide. "Mmmm, Genos this is good! It's like little bubbles bursting with flavor in my mouth!" Saitama got another spoon full then another.

The tensions melted from Genos's shoulders, "I made droplets of mutton, beef and pork blood then combined then in the bowl."

"I never thought of eating animal blood, it's so good!" Across the room Rover's head popped up, "But it doesn't feel like it has the same effect." Roverlaid back down. "When I feed on humans there's a sense of satisfaction." Saitama got a far off look in his eyes, "I feel like I could eat this all day and never get full." Saitama was peering down at his bowl and noticed Genos was unusually quiet. He glanced over to see Genos has the saddest expression while clutching his chopsticks. Saitama quickly tried to perk up the mood, "But it still tastes really good, thanks man." And goes back to eating.

Genos sits up prideful, "Don't worry I will master this, so you can enjoy food once more!" It sounds like he's boasting, which was surprising when the next part came out more quietly, "......But I understand. Food doesn't do anything for me either. That's why we should hunt together."

Saitama did a Spit take shooting a bubble across the table, "wahu?"

Genos didn't miss a beat, "We both need to feed, we can hunt together, increase our changes, watch out for one another and..." he smiled shameless, "I want to know what it's like to feed when you feed."