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"Sherlock explain to me why we are here exactly."
"Research obviously."
"And we couldn't have researched online from the privacy of our flat..."
"Really John has the putrid taste of blue playdough in your mouth for a week taught you nothing."
"How was I supposed to know it would taste like shit. The label said Birthday Cake."
"And that my dear doctor is why we are here."
"Please do not tell me we are going to taste test....."
"Of course we are don't be obtuse.."
"Right not embarrassing at all..."
"John we are standing in the middle of a sex shop not Trafalgar Square....not sure why this is so upsetting."
"Yeah just standing here in the middle of sex shop with the intent of tasting various flavours of personal lubricant with my same sex partner so that when we lick each other's arses out we wont be left with a vile taste in our mouths. Yup not embarrassing at all."
"Key Lime or Wild Cherry? Umm never mind not Key Lime...ooh Pina Colada"
"Excuse me gentlemen may I be of assistance?"
"No thank you we are fine."
"Actually..."
"Oh dear god no.."
"What is the acidity of your Pina Colada personal lubricant?"
"Kill me now, please..."
"I'm sorry..."
"Acidity!"
"????"
"Will it burn genitals when applied?"
"Well sir we have not received any complaints of that happening that I am aware of."
"John, smell! This might work of course no salt...."
"Of course"
"I'm sorry?"
"Salt. Margaritas."
"Sherlock. Don't!"
"But Jawn, others might have...."
"Nope pretty sure it is just us...."
"Sir?"
"You see my partner here loves margaritas with salt and so we decided...."
"Nope you decided!"
"Semantics. It was decided that salt was a necessary ingredient to the night's activities...and well I might have underestimated that velocity of my pushing and the irritation of the surrounding soft tissue....."
"Might have?????"
"Errors were made alright."
"For the love of god...PLEASE STOP TALKING!"
"Burning"
"Burning?"
"Yes my dear doctor's arse..."
"Right! We will take the Wild Cherry, the Pina Coladas and two bottles of the Banoffee Pie..."
"Oh Jawn I do love banoffee pie...."
"I know"
"With lots and lots of whipped cream...."
"Yes love I know....."
"No burning..."
"No burning!"