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Welcome to the Boonies

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Lover’s Lane was crowded tonight, and not merely with teenagers. Spike had already dusted one party of vamps, and he could tell there were at least a handful more in the area that had plans for a bite to eat. He could feel the hunger all around him. Combined with the heady scent of human lust that blanketed the entire area, it was enough to keep Spike fighting his true face, almost overwhelmed by the tantalizing aromas that surrounded him. It was times like these that were hardest on him – that thrice-damned chip had taken far too much, and left him a pale copy of the demon he once was. He’d have his revenge in the end. They’d be sorry they messed with Spike, but there would be no mercy.

In the meantime, he needed to keep his mind on business. He’d get as much done as possible before he had to pick up Harris. He thought the berk would be safe, surrounded by that pisswater, but he’d have to move quickly. If he were by himself, he’d take his time and see what the vamps were up to, maybe join in on the fun, if he could do it without revealing his handicap. But with Harris along, he had to clear them out before they got a sniff of the boy.

He wasn’t sure what it was about him that appealed to demons, but there was an attraction – maybe those big, dark eyes of his that made him look so helpless, and easily bruised. Spike didn’t know how Harris’ demon girl had given up on him the way she had, but she’d turned her back on him as soon as her boss had relented and taken her back. She’d walked away without more than a “Ciao!” Spike was certain there’d be another demon to take her place, soon. Which was a shame. With that new apartment of his, and his penchant for beer and cable TV, Spike could have been quite comfortable lairing up with Harris, if he wasn’t such a nob.

Xander wasn’t sure why he was doing this. If Spike came back for him, and he was off somewhere, getting lost in the woods, then Spike would have a perfect excuse for leaving him behind.

‘I told him to wait, and he ran off into the woods like a bleeding fool. What was I supposed to do?’

Spike would leave him behind without a second thought. He told himself to believe that, and most of him did. But what with all the guilt over treating Spike like crap for the last year or so, Xander felt a little backstabbish even thinking it. Okay, maybe Spike was an evil fiend of the dark, but he’s the evil fiend of the dark that had been saving their bacon for the last year, and he didn’t have to do that. At least not as regularly as he did.

Xander pulled his jacket closer around him, and grabbed his favorite lucky stake. With the stake, and a Super Soaker full of that skanky water from hell, he was as well armed as he could get. Settling the strap of his water gun more securely around his neck, Xander headed off to find his missing vampire.

Spike watched the pair of vamps carefully. He needed information, and the first group he ran across didn’t give him a chance to isolate one for questioning. Hopefully, these two would be easier to deal with. They didn’t even notice him coming up behind them until the first one was dust, and Spike had his arm around the second one’s throat, his stake pressed over her heart.

“Hello, love. What are you up to this evening, eh?”

She gasped. “You killed Alan! What did you do that for?”

Spike tisked. “I asked first. Be a good girl, now, and answer my question.”

“We were just looking for some fun. These kids with those wild teenage hormones, they hardly notice us before it’s too late, and they’re so pliable once you’ve drained the fight out of them.”

He bit back his sigh; he used to love places like this. The blood was so rich with pheromones that you could get drunk on it. “You do this regularly, do you?”

“Oh yeah, at least once a week, but we clean up after ourselves. We dump our empties on the other side of town, and take their car to The Dry Cleaners. It’s good for some spare change.”

The Dry Cleaners was the demon owned chop shop in town. They’d buy most anything automotive, cut it up and sell the parts, mostly in LA. It kept the streets clear of all the abandoned cars that would otherwise litter Sunnydale, the same way the scavengers kept the town free of the bodies that came out of those cars.

“Just got here, then?”

“Well, we went to the Boondocks first, but a bunch of vamp bullies kicked us out. They said we could have the tamer kids, but they had something special planned for the wild ones tonight, and we weren’t invited.”

“The Boondocks?”

“You’re new around here, aren’t you?” she said alluringly.

She shimmied her hips, rubbing up against the hard-on Spike had sprouted the minute he got a good whiff of the marvelous mix of lust and hunger and teenage angst that had settled like haze over the area. Delicious.

“I could show you around, if you wanted. Now that Alan’s gone, I’m going to need some help dumping the bodies and getting rid of the car. But we could go back to my place after, and have some fun of our own.”

He was sorely tempted. She wasn’t hard on the eye, and her body was firm and curvy under his hands. But he had things to do, and besides, she’d probably drop him the moment she saw Harris. Spike didn’t know what it was that lured them in, but the demons were obsessed with the guy.

“I’d love to, but I have plans. So where are these Boondocks, so I know to avoid them?”

“About half a mile through the woods, just east of us.” She sniffed delicately, no doubt getting a whiff of the pisswater that clung to his clothes. “Do you smell something?”

He let her go, and took a step back. She turned around, her eyebrows rising in interest as she got a good look at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider my offer?” she asked seductively. She walked up to him and leaned in, rubbing herself all over him like a cat. “We could be great friends.”

“Sorry, love.” He ran his fingers along her jaw. “I can’t afford you taking a liking to Harris. We’re going to have to part ways.”

She was dust before she even saw his hand move. Spike stepped back, out of the way of the fallout, and adjusted his package. Too bad he was under a gun; he really needed to get laid. He grabbed Harris’ Super Soaker from the tree branch where he’d hung it, settled it around his neck, and walked out of the woods, to check on Harris across the length of the lane. A shock of cold ran through him - Harris was gone!

“Never trust a vampire,” Xander muttered as he picked his way through the woods, trying his damnedest not to step on any twigs or crackly leaves, or brush up against any trees or bushes. He was not succeeding. He stumbled over a dip in the ground, and put his hand out to stop his fall, snapping a twig off the trunk of a tree. Damn, something new to watch for. Who’d have thought he’d have to watch where he put his hands? He was supposed to be watching his feet!

What the hell was he thinking, saying yes, he’d go with Spike on a trip to make-out city with a lust monster on the loose? Where was his brain? Okay, so his occasional homosexual urges were vague and unformed, because teenage boys aren’t allowed to think like that in high school, unless they looked a lot like Larry Blaisdell. Larry could be as gay as he wanted; no one was going to say a word to the captain of the football team.

But Xander was an adult now – he was almost twenty, for crying out loud. Vague, homosexual urges only made him a little – somewhat – a tiny bit bisexual, so he should be able to handle a lust monster, even if he was trapped at make-out point with the most gorgeous, perfectly built, cheekbones-to-die-for, blue-eyed vampire in the world.

He had to stop thinking like that. Spike was a rude, obnoxious, cranky, egotistical, assholeish, vampire! A nasty, wet-towels-on-the-floor, blood-rings-in-my-coffee-mugs, Captain-Crunch-in-a-bowl-of-blood, walking-around-wearing-nothing-but-a-wet-towel-and-the-most-amazing-set-of-abs-I’ve-ever-seen vampire.

“Dear god, I’m going to die, or at least make an absolute fool of myself,” he said mournfully.

The sound of a snapped twig broke him out of his whirling thoughts. He looked down. With no twigs near his feet, Xander had to acknowledge that it was possible that he had company. He held his breath while he waited, his eyes scanning the trees and bushes around him in the dim light of a partial moon. Nothing stirred. He blew out his breath in a whoosh. He sure wished he could turn on his flashlight. But why bother walking in the woods to avoid being seen, if everyone could see his flashlight?

If Spike were here, he could follow Spike, and be fairly certain he wasn’t going to make too much noise, but without the annoying one, he was going to have to manage on his own. He hated vampires. He had to keep telling himself that, or he was going to embarrass himself at some point tonight. He adjusted his grip on his stake, and started walking again, trying his best to keep an eye out for the cars he could vaguely see through the trees. The last thing he needed was to get lost in these woods. Where the hell was Spike? He’d promised he’d come back.

“Never trust a vampire,” Xander reminded himself.

With no warning, a strong, heavy arm wrapped around Xander and held him tight against a large chest - a cool hand over his mouth.

“I think that’s very closed-minded of you,” a deep voice rumbled into his ear. “I’d be deeply hurt, if I weren’t going to eat you now.”

Xander screwed his eyes closed. This was going to hurt like hell.

Xander Harris was a dead man. It didn’t matter what he had to do to accomplish it, but he would find a way to kill the lunkhead. How difficult was it to stay where you were told? What the bleeding hell did that berk think he was doing? True, Spike had taken longer than he’d planned to get back to him. But he hadn’t planned on running into two different groups of vamps by the time he was half-way across the lane. Harris should have stayed where he was put.

Spike cut right down through the center of Lover’s Lane to get back to the corner Harris was supposed to be in. He’d completely destroyed any chance they had of not being noticed, if there was anything about, looking for suspicious activity. It didn’t matter, Harris was gone, and there were no clues as to why. The gallons of pisswater were still sitting exactly where they’d left them, and there were no marks of a fight, or even a scuffle. It was if he’d simply disappeared.

Fortunately, there was a trail of that awful pisswater scent that led across the gravel road at the head of the lane, and Spike followed it into the woods. Hopefully, Harris was hanging on to his buddy’s giant water gun, and this trail would lead to him. Watching carefully for the signs of the passage of clumsy humans, it was easy to see more than one person bumbling their way through the woods. What he didn’t like was that two sets of feet followed the scent of pisswater, so it was possible someone was tracking his human. He began to move faster, if this was a demon of some sort, Harris could be in a lot of trouble.

If he ever found the little bastard, he was going to tie him up, so he couldn’t go around hunting up trouble any more. That was a pretty picture. There were a lot of things you could do to a human in bondage, and plenty of them wouldn’t cause his chip even the slightest of twinges. That line of thought didn’t help his aching cock, but it was an appealing image, none the less. Or maybe he should get Harris a collar and a lead. He could see Harris on his knees, his dark eyes begging to be allowed to suck Spike’s cock. Oh, that was tasty.

When he found Harris, he was going to bend the nob over the nearest fallen tree, and fuck him until he begged Spike to stop. And maybe he’d stop. But then again, maybe he’d keep going until Harris was begging him for more, once again. Harris was still young. Spike bet they could fuck all night if he played his cards right.