I won't cry. She kept saying to herself and she didn't. She held all her emotions together for her best friends sake. She knew that if she acted on her own feelings she would ultimately break her best friend and she cannot fathom ever hurting Riley. Riley was pure. Everything a guy wanted in a girl. She was respectful,innocent and sweet. The type of girl a guy like Lucas would want. She's not jealous of her best friend no,she just wishes that her life would be better. She wishes she could have a better childhood but she's not completely repelled by her life now. Its perfect because what's life without Riley? Lucas? Or even Farkle?.
Her heart breaks when she's being forced to face reality. He may have some feelings towards her but she knows Riley is it,even if Riley is doting on the 'happily ever after' fairytale. Riley believes in all that. She believes wholeheartedly that Lucas is her knight in shining armour on a white horse. Its unreal she knows but she cannot seem to break Riley's shell. She's so innocent that once she's hurt,Maya will hate herself even more,so she end up telling Lucas to tell Riley he loves her. Get back together with her. Make her fairytale come alive.
"Go to Riley and tell her you love her". She's breaking her own heart she knows but in the end its for the best. She has to settle for the guy she was suppose to be with josh. It's not happiness she knows but at least she's not alone. Its not easy for her to be alone. She craved for a life full of stability and if josh is all she'll get to be stabilised then she's satisfied.
Once she's in her room,she finally breaks down in her own world. A world where no one knows her scars and pain only her. Its heartbreaking and it's sad but she needs to let it go in order for her to face everyone.
She faces the world outside and sobs till she cannot fathom her own name anymore. She falls into a horrific sleep filled with dreams of loneliness and her dad leaving.