March 9th, 2017
"Stop it, please." Harry says, trying to sound serious.
Louis' still laughing as a mad man, and Harry's trying very hard to not laugh with him.
"Seriously, you're not funny. You-"
"Oh, but you are, Harry!" exclaims Louis, still laughing.
He's curling on himself for how much he's laughing, and Harry loves him.
"Well, I wasn't talking about me. Was just saying that it's not funny the fact you're laughing so much for something so stupid, so take my hint and stop laughing so much. I'm trying not to laugh, you know." Harry says, still blushing from what happened, and Louis seems oblivious to what his - ¡yes!- boyfriend has just said.
What happened is that, Louis found a video Harry recordered when he was eleven or something, one of those really awkward videos that should be deleted from the universe, but for some reason still exist. And the point is, Harry thought that video was really good when he'd recordered it.
Now he's asking himself what was wrong with his mind.
It must be the same thing he has now, since there are still so many things that are wrong with him, which is truly nice.
And Louis, you can't blame him, is laughing for a minute straight and, honestly, Harry thinks it's no good for his health.
He doesn't want his -his- boyfriend to die because of a lack of air in his lungs.
Louis seems to understand it, in fact now he's not laughing any more, but he's trying to catch his breath, and he's almost in the same conditions of someone who would have finished a marathon by now.
"You were so adorable, Harry, but so funny at the same time. Sorry. But remember I was laughing in a nice way, yeah?" Louis says, and his smile is so amazing it makes Harry smile too.
"You're such an idiot." Harry says, taking Louis' head in his hands and biting his nose.
"Hey! Don't kill my nose!"
Harry chuckles and lets go of Louis, and what he does next is to close the window on his computer and to switch it off.
"No! Harry! Wanted to see other videos!" Louis exclaims, looking actually disappointed.
Harry thinks he looks like a little, adorable puppy right now.
"No, I won't give you the chance to make fun of me again. Is this how you thank me for everything that I do for you? Mh?" Harry asks, as serious as possible, even if he and Louis both know he's kidding.
Louis raises his eyebrows right when Harry looks at him, "Will never make fun of you!"
Harry tries to keep his expression serious, but he smiles because of Louis' voice.
"Yes, you just did. And this is why you're not fucking me for a week."
Louis tries not to laugh at Harry's voice.
They're both trying to be serious in what they're doing, they like this role thing sometimes -when it's not too much, that's it- but their skills are not that developed when it comes to 'acting'.
"Yes, I am." Louis says, kissing Harry's cheek, and Harry does his best to not lean over him and let Louis kiss him everywhere.
"Oh! C'mon, Har, I was just kidding, you know that." Louis says, sitting on Harry's lap -where the computer was the second before until Louis removed it- and Harry licks his lips and tries not to smile too much.
"Go away. You always make fun of me. You meany."
Louis is smiling now, looking at Harry, who's smiling too, because they couldn't wait more.
"But I'm yours and you like me so so much, and me too, and yeah." Louis says, half jokingly, half seriously.
"First of all, I don't like you. Pft. Second of all, I forgot."
Louis chuckles with Harry.
"But you're still mean. And you can't have me if you're mean. Not sorry."
"But I wanted to see other videos, I know there are others! And maybe I can find a really interesting video of you, where..." Louis gets closer to Harry and kisses his jawline, "maybe you're doing something different, you know."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Harry puts his hands on Louis' butt and squeezes it, and Louis instintively gives Harry a hickey.
"Ow, Lou, not there..."
Louis gives him another one near the last one, "Ops?"
Harry holds his breath.
Alright, it's not a big deal if his jawline's going to be slightly bruised, after all.
"So sorry everyone's going to know you're mine." Louis whispers in Harry's ear after he left a trail of kisses on his neck.
"Louis, we're supposed to clean the room, remember?"
Louis smirks and kisses Harry's ear, "I can clean you up when my come will be inside you. With my tongue."
Harry almost moans at that, because not only Louis' starting teasing him with words, but he's also caressing Harry's hair, and Harry loves it.
He's trying to control himself, though.
But he closes his eyes and squeezes Louis' amazing booty again, because why not?
"Nope. Your mother asked us a favour and we-" Harry's sentence is cut off by Louis' hips grinding on his dick.
"What did you say?" Louis asks, still smirking.
Now that he thinks about it, how did they end up like that?
They were just cleaning the room and listening some music with the computer two hours ago, when they started.
Oh, well, not a problem.
"I said," Harry takes a deep breath, "That your mother said -shit..."
Harry's interrupted again by Louis' hips grinding on him.
"What? You saying my mother says shit? I don't like it, Harry." Louis says, standing up and looking at him.
"I-I didn't mean to say that, really, I didn't, it's all your fault." Harry says, opening his eyes, his cheeks slightly red.
The two of them didn't have sex that much -in their latest relationship-, they still didn't talk about it -like, in details-, so Harry thinks it's okay to start touching himself lighlty from his jeans.
Louis chuckles. Does Harry think it's so easy?
"What do you think you're doing, kitten?" Louis asks, with that voice Harry just craves for- especially when he's hard.
"Listen, my dick is hard because of you, and now I'm trying to make him feel better. You scared him."
Louis tries not to chuckle again, "And who said you could touch yourself like that in front of me?"
Harry holds his breath for a little while, "I just...wanted to do it?"
This time Louis chuckles, "Oh, no, Harry. No, no, no."
Harry stops touching himself and swallows, still looking up at Louis.
He's so turned on right now for how Louis' acting, he hasn't really said stuff like that before, and Harry thinks he'll come untouched if Louis keeps using that voice and that words with him.
Louis licks his lips and caresses Harry's hair, and Harry tries to keep his eyes open.
"Why didn't you ask daddy for permission?" Louis asks, and Harry thinks he whimpered or something.
He clears his throat immediately and thinks about something to say.
The only thing in his mind is what Louis has just said.
"Sorry, I...didn't know you wanted me to ask you..."
Louis truly smiles at how Harry is shy all of a sudden.
"You're right, it's okay, but next time make sure you can touch yourself, yeah? Ask first."
Harry looks at Louis and nods, too turned on to do something else.
"Now, we should clean the room, yeah? It's what you apparently want to do."
"It's what you said, right?"
"Uhm. Yes. But now I want you to fuck me."
Louis smirks, "But you want to clean up this room, so you'll have to wait."
Harry groans and stands up, and he looks at Louis body and vice versa.
Louis pecks Harry's lips, "Nope."
"But you can't talk to me like that and then leave me so hard."
Louis raises his eyebrows, "Apparently, I can, can't I?"
But since Louis loves Harry way too much to act as if he doesn't care about him being hard, he kisses him again.
"Going to fuck you tonight, yeah? Now just try to be a good boy for daddy.".
Harry blinks a couple of time and nods, "A-alright..."
What has just happened?
After a long day at work, Harry opens his door and throws his jacket in his flat, he doesn't care about it now.
He closes the door and walks to Louis' door, ringing the doorbell while leaning on the wall beside it.
Louis opens the door not even two seconds later, already smiling because he knows who's the one who rang at his doorbell.
He doesn't see anyone, though, so he looks around and sees Harry leaning on the wall, completely unaware of him, since his eyes are closed.
"Sorry to interrupt your dreams about me, but I'm waiting for a kiss." Louis says, smiling, and Harry snaps his eyes open and smiles back at Louis.
"Lou." Harry says, cupping Louis cheeks and leaning over him.
Louis' hands go to Harry's shoulders and he slightly lifts himself up on his tip toes as usual -when he wants to make Harry go crazy- and kisses his -yes, he's sure of it- boyfriend. They both close their eyes and they feel like they're the only two people in the whole world right now.
Harry smiles even more when his lips touch Louis' ones, and he actually feels a shiver run down his body when Louis' tongue starts teasing his own and they start kissing just the way they like it.
Louis stops resting his weight on his tip toes and pulls away, looking at Harry's lips -which now are even more kissable than before.
"Hi, Lou." Harry says, licking his lips, and Louis mimics him instintively.
"Hey." Louis says, and Harry takes his hand in his own, still looking at him as if he's shining more than the sun.
They enter the flat and Louis closes the door, then they head to his bedroom, without even thinking about it.
"How was your day?" Harry asks, as usual, making Louis smile because in these last few months he's been spending with Harry he learnt that his -amazing- boyfriend has at least two 'standard questions' he asks almost everyday, like the one he's just asked.
"Great. What about you? You tired, babe?" Louis asks, seeing the look on Harry's face.
Harry nods and lays down Louis' bed, "Really tired." he says, his voice sending shivers all over Louis' body.
He still can't explain how it's possible for Harry to influence his feelings so much.
It has to be a supernatural thing he has, who knows.
Louis lays down on his bed as well, beside Harry's body, and he turns in his direction to look at him.
"How's your family doing?" he asks, and Harry's absolutely sure something inside him is melting because Louis' too sweet for his unprepared body -unprepared because it doesn't know how to react to Louis.
Harry looks at him, crossing his legs with Louis' ones, "They're all doing great, thanks. What about yours?"
Louis positions himself on top of Harry, who's already trying to keep a hold of himself.
It's not that the hottest and most amazing person ever is on top of him, after all.
"They're fine, but some of them really miss you. They're always saying they want to see you again."
Harry's dimples -along with his eyes and voice- are what really makes Louis' heart beat faster than usual.
"Want to see them again, too." Harry says, and Louis nods.
"I'll talk to them, then. I already know they'll start screaming for joy as soon as they know you're going to come see them again. Why doesn't your family loves me as much as mine does?" Louis asks, but they both know he's kidding.
"Because I'm too adorable?" Harry asks anyways, and Louis leans down to kiss him.
After a while he pulls away and looks at Harry, kissing his cheeks every few seconds.
"I like it when you have a little more beard." Harry says, brushing his fingers on Louis' beard.
Louis kisses his fingers and looks at Harry, smiling.
"I like it that you don't even have one." Louis says, kissing Harry's cheeks.
"But there is! I just shave you know."
Louis stops kissing him and looks into his eyes.
"Don't want you to have it. You're absolutely perfect just like that. I l-"
He was freaking going to say he loves Harry, he almost ruined everything between them, but luckily his mind started working again right before he could say something more.
Harry looks at him, slightly confused.
"I mean, Har, I just really like the way you...look. Without it."
Harry smiles and pecks Louis' lips, finding him cute because he's blushing for admitting he likes the way Harry looks.
Are they eleven again?
"Thanks, Lou." Harry pecks Louis' lips again.
Louis relaxes slightly, because Harry didn't apparently get what Louis was going to say, so everything's alright for now.
They stay quiet for a while, kissing and caressing their bodies and whispering sweet -way too sweet- things to each other.
Everything's so very relaxing, and Harry's almost falling asleep under Louis' soft touch on his hair.
"I remember..." Louis says, catching Harry's attention, so that now Harry's looking at him, "when we were at your place, and you let me undress you. I don't know why you let me, but I'm still grateful for that moment."
Harry smirks as much as he can, "Because you finally saw how my cock got longer?"
Louis smirks and kisses Harry's jawline, "That, and the fact you were starting to trust me. You were so fucking beautiful, shit." Louis says, repeating once again in his mind as many details of that evening he can remember.
Harry raises his eyebrows, "Were? So now I'm ugly?"
Louis chuckles and shakes his head, "You know you aren't. Wanted to say you are, actually, but I remembered how I told you I like the way you look, so..."
"Oh, what a failure." Harry says, accentuating his English accent.
Louis smiles and kisses his cheeks, "I remeber I thought I was going to pass out."
Harry smiles and caresses Louis' back, "Why?"
Louis kisses a spot under Harry's ear, making him close his eyes again.
"'Cause I didn't really know you were so different -and still are- and couldn't know your dick had become like that, and the way you looked at me was what really got me almost murdered." Louis says, making Harry chuckle even if he's trying not to beg for Louis to touch him.
"I was so curious of your reaction." Harry says, sliding his hands underneath Louis' hoodie.
He loves Louis' hoodies so much, especially the dark green one.
It just suits Louis perfectly.
"We still haven't talked about our tattoos." Louis says, thinking out loud, and Harry suddenly remembers how that evening he'd promised Louis to tell him his tattoos' meaning.
"I can try to talk right now, but I'm tired and you're making me feel so relaxed. And I was so stressed out before stepping in here. Thanks, Lou..."
Louis frowns in confusion, "Why, Har?"
Martin's texts appear in Harry's mind, the way they pissed Harry off, and a stressful feeling creeps inside Harry.
He tries to avoid all of it.
"Just work, you know. It's okay now." Harry says, even if it's too late now and he knows his mind won't stop reminding him things until he'll fall asleep.
Why is Martin still texting him?
Why had Harry called him all those months ago and asked him to come at his place?
Right, Harry and Louis had just met again and Harry wanted to stop thinking about him.
Louis seems to notice Harry's change of mood, though.
"Want you to relax now, yeah? Really want you to." Louis whispers, kissing Harry's hair and forehead, caressing it, kissing his nose, his eyelids, his hair again, until Harry has a little smile on his lips and isn't thinking about Martin any more.
As much as his mind wants to remind him how he could have been more responsible, his mind just can't.
Harry's whole body is positively affected by Louis now, and as long as he keeps on kissing him, Harry won't think about someone or something which isn't Louis again.
~ thanks for reading this and leaving kudos and comments. Hope you liked this chapter. ~
Chapter 3: March 15h, 2017
louis_tomlinson: har can i come over? Or you can come here if you prefer
Harry checks Louis' last text and the time he sent it to him, and realises it was from twenty minutes ago.
He sighs and types a text to let him know he can come over, but he doesn't even have the time to send it because he starts hearing a noise which seems to come from his floor.
He gets closer to his door, hearing two people talking loudly, and -are they Louis and Martin?
When he's as close at the door as he can, he silently opens the spy hole and looks through it, seeing Martin almost right in front of his door.
He can't really see Louis, but he can hear his voice, and he doesn't like what they're saying to each other.
Also, what is Martin doing there? Why is Louis talking to him?
They're still alive? How?
Martin doesn't seem to have bruises. What about Louis?!
It seems they're just talking, for now.
"Fucking go away already!" Harry hears Louis exclaiming, and winces slightly.
He'll open the door as soon as he finds out what's going on.
"Calm the fuck down, I already told you I'm not here to see you. I'm just here for Harry. You know, the one you'd cheated on. And probably still are cheating on. How can he even be so blind?"
Harry can't see Louis' reaction, but his heart cracks just at the thought of seeing Louis' hurt face, imagining everything he's thinking about right now, how he wishes he wouldn't have cheated on Harry.
Harry knows that as much as Louis does.
"Just leave him alone." Louis says, his voice not as aggressive as it was before.
Harry's heartbeat is beating so fast it almost hurts.
He doesn't want Louis to feel bad.
He wants Louis to be happy and to not feel guilty any more, because Harry knows how painful it is, and knows Louis' not a cheater any more, and he just wants Louis to be completely okay.
"You leave him alone!" Martin exclaims, but Harry can't see him any more now, and he doesn't know what's happening, so he does the first thing his mind thinks about, and opens the door.
Martin looks at Harry for a second without moving his head, pretending he didn't see him, while Louis seems to be relieved and almost happy to see him, even if Harry knows how torn he is in the inside, and Martin seems actually normal, as if he wasn't just going to punch the shit out of Louis.
Harry doesn't like the way Martin's been acting lately. He'd thought he knew him, but now it's like Harry's discovering unintentionally how Martin really is.
Well, he would have preferred to skip this process and just ignore Martin, but apparently Martin won't have it.
He keeps sending Harry texts and tries his best to keep in touch with him, and Harry's realising just now how stupid he was to believe he could have just ignored him and pretend everything was okay to make Martin stop looking for him.
Was he wrong.
"I saw you yesterday, with that man, looking as if you both were going to fuck in front of everyone. And I saw you were kissing. Does he know? Harry? Did you had the guts to tell him what you did?" Martin says as soon as possible, still pretending Harry doesn't exist, and both Louis and Harry look at him in disbelief.
"The fuck are you saying?!" Louis exclaims, yelling right in front of Martin's face, and Harry doesn't know what to say.
He fells like he has been split in two parts: there's a section of him that is trying to warn him and convince him Martin's lying, because he's jealous and he's been trying to get Harry back for months; but there's another section of Harry that's making it hard to believe Martin's lying, he actually thinks he's saying the truth, and there's this fucking saying in his mind repeating over and over again 'Once a cheater, always a cheater.' and he can't stand it because it's not right, he doesn't want to think Louis is still a cheater, he doesn't want to think about it, he doesn't want to think at all, why does it have to be so difficult?
Why is he thinking about what happened, when Louis was with another man, kissing, doing who the fuck knows what, while Harry was at home thinking about him, thinking about how much he loves him, and he was waiting for the next day to see him again, since he couldn't see him the two nights before -Louis had said he had to help his mother with the family, and the point is Louis seemed to be so sincere and Harry didn't suspect not even for a second, because Louis usually does this for his family.
Has Louis been lying to Harry everytime he'd said he would have helped his mother by taking care of his siblings?
Has he pretended to be someone else again? Did Harry let him take advantage of him again?
For fuck's sake, again?
Harry wants to cry so bad right now.
He knew he shouldn't have trusted him, he knew he shouldn't have looked at Louis when he'd seen him in the same building of his flat after four, five, six years, he can't even remember how to count properly.
Why did he trust Louis.
He already knew how it was, he knew how Louis could trick him into believing something which wasn't true, yet Harry decided to make fun of himself by giving Louis another chance.
What an idiot.
How could he even think a person as perfect as Louis would be real?
How stupid it was of him, to trust Louis again, after everything that he's been through, and still is dealing with now.
How fucking stupid of him.
And now what? He's going to cry?
He knew he shouldn't have trusted Louis.
He knew it.
Why did he trust him?
Why did he let him take everything he could? Just so that now Louis can leave him empty?
Why did he even-
Harry looks at Louis, hearing his voice.
The voice of who's trying to fix the mistake in an attempt to make you think there wasn't a single one.
What a liar.
And Harry trusted him.
He trusted Louis.
It's been months.
They started their relationships months ago, and now what?
Martin says he saw what Harry thought was his boyfriend with another fucking bitch.
Harry stops overthinking about Louis and the fact he's always been a cheater when Martin's name appears in his mind again.
Wait, how can he be sure Martin was telling the truth?
What the fuck is Harry doing? Standing in front of his ex and current boyfriend with his eyes watery as if he's been shooted by someone?
Harry clears his throat and blinks a few times, and Louis' looking at him with that painful look he hardly-ever lets his eyes show, and for a moment Harry wants to punch himself because he thoght Louis could have kissed someone who wasn't him.
But then he doubts Louis' words again, which till now aren't even words, just Harry's name.
He's too confused to process things right.
He thinks he missed what Louis and Martin were both saying to him, so he just stares at them, trying to understand if he's actually experiencing this situation or not.
"Haz, shit, I'm sorry, didn't know you were listening..." Martin says, with an apologetic look. In front of Harry's door. He didn't know Harry was listening even if Martin was right in front of his door.
Harry looks at him, still confused, but then gets distracted by Louis.
"You literally are the most horrible person I've ever met."
Harry blinks a few times at Louis' words.
Alright, he was referring to Martin.
Maybe Louis isn't as bad as Harry's starting to think he is.
If he cheated on him, at least he's still talking to Harry with respect.
Actually, he's not speaking to Harry, but Harry likes to think he'd do that nicely.
"Are you talking about yourself, Louis?" Martin asks, and Louis ignores him.
"You' don't believe him, right?" Louis asks looking at Harry with a concerned look, and Harry can distinguish the difference between the way Louis is looking at him and the way Martin is.
Louis seems to be really feeling concerned.
But what about the things he did?
Harry still doesn't know what to say.
"I told you I'd never do that again, Harry. There's a reason if I told you." Louis says, and he actually has pleading eyes, "Please, don't listen to him."
The way Louis' looking at Harry is making the green-eyed boy feel better.
But he still is trying not to react to all of this. He wants to be sure of what happened before actually react.
"Haz, I'm here just to make sure you're aware of what he's doing to you. You don't deserve him. I don't want you to keep crying over him, Haz." Martin says, and Harry feels like he's in a film.
What is he supposed to do?
Run as fast as he can as long as it's away from where he is now? (Or just enter his flat and close the door, whatever you like to say it.)
Should he say something? Scream? Shout? Let it all out?
He doesn't know.
Louis' still looking at him with his puppy eyes and Harry wants to kiss the shit out of him.
Instead, he just takes a deep breath and looks at Martin.
"What are you doing here?"
Martin gets closer to him, and Louis makes sure to do the same thing.
"I thought there was something wrong 'cause you don't reply to my texts and it's been a while, Haz, wanted to know if you're okay." Martin says, reaching for Harry's hand, but Harry steps away.
"There's a reason if I don't reply to your texts." Harry says, and something in his mind reminds him how stupid he was.
Did Louis actually cheat on him?
Harry wants to cry so bad, but he can't.
He takes a deep breath, though.
He can do that.
"And do you think you can do that by yelling at Louis?" he calmly asks.
All the agonising feeling Louis was feeling is now replaced by a little amout of hope at Harry's words.
Maybe there's a chance Harry really trust me, Louis thinks. Maybe everything will be alright again after this moment.
"I was going to call you but then I saw him and he started saying how I'm not allowed to be here." Martin scoffs looking at Louis now, "Idiot."
And, Louis is used to that, he doesn't care that much about people saying things like that to him, but there's something inside Harry that's making him forget there's a possibility Louis cheated on him again, there's something more powerful that a simple fact he doesn't even know if it's true or not, there really is something more that's making Harry feel better from one side because he doesn't feel like crying any more, but he wants to make Martin cry for what he's just said and the way he did that.
Both Louis and Martin are startled at what Harry says next.
"And then you want to know why I don't reply to your texts? Who do you think you are? You think you can say Louis' an idiot as if it's nothing? Good job, then. You're a really nice person." Harry says, looking directly at Martin, who now really doesn't know what to say.
"Haz, I'm sorry, but you didn't hear all the things he told me. You think you know him, but you don't. I know you don't, or else you wouldn't say that."
Louis frowns in disgust, looking at Martin, "You're fucking shameless."
"Me? What about you? Cheating on him again as if he doesn't have any feelings!"
And that's how they start arguing again.
Harry stays quiet and looks at the two of them, and he has to admit it's hard to determine who's telling the truth and who isn't.
Because, Harry wants to trust Louis, but his mind keeps telling him every negative thing he did in the past, and it's slowly killing him.
Moreover, he could always trust Martin in the past, while knowing Louis wasn't trustworthy at all.
Now it seems like they switched their roles, and it's ridiculous.
However, Harry doesn't want to lose his temper in front of them, so he steps back silently and enters his flat, closing the door slowly.
Louis and Martin are arguing like two children, and Harry doesn't want to look at them any more.
Louis snaps his head in Harry's direction when the door is almost closed, and the concerned look in Louis' eyes makes Harry's heartbrat speed up like crazy.
Harry closes the door.
As he usually does when he's extremely upset, Harry felt asleep while crying, even if he's not even sure why.
He needed to cry, though, so he did.
But he's waking up just now because of someone knocking at the door, and he already knows it's Louis because he's knocking at the door in a particular way, it's like a code Louis and Harry have, and Harry wants to cry again.
He hates it when he feels so weak because of someone -Louis.
Of course, Louis and Martin both tried to call Harry, but it's obvious he ignored them.
Now, in the middle of the night -Harry just checked- Louis is back.
So Harry has to stand up and head to the door, open it or else Louis won't leave him alone for the rest of the week -and they both have work in some hours, so Harry can't let Louis bother him not even for the rest of the night.
When he opens the door, he looks at Louis and makes room for him to enter the house.
He wants to talk to him as much as Louis does.
Not only he wants to talk, he doesn't want to talk at the same time, but also needs to know what happened, so the situation is pretty bad here.
Louis enters the flat and Harry closes the door, then he heads to his living room and sits on the couch, looking down.
Louis is by his side in a second, his hand on Harry's knee and his own leg touching Harry's.
And they are sweating too much.
"As soon as I heard him saying that, I looked at you. I think I was really going to pass out just because of the panicked look on your face." Louis says slowly, looking at the switched off TV in front of him.
Harry listens carefully, grateful Louis finally is by his side, holding his knee.
He loves Louis no matter what.
He needed to see him, especially in this moment.
"I thought you wouldn't believe him, and I tried to reassure myself. I thought...you couldn't believe him, but when I saw the look on your face I understood my hopes weren't enough."
Louis takes a deep breath and looks at Harry, who's still looking down.
"But then I thought about the past. Of course." Louis sadly chuckles for a second, "And I realised that...there wasn't a chance you'd have believed me. So I stayed as quiet as possible, because I know you, Harry, and you wouldn't have liked me saying stuff like 'Harry, no, it's not true, he's lying!', now, would you?"
Harry looks at Louis, feeling the need to hold him close to his body and kiss him until the following day with no rests.
He just nods, because Louis' perfectly right.
They both take a deep breath in the same exact second, and smile slightly for that.
Harry's still trying not to react.
He feels like he wants to cry, but maybe just because he cried a lot before, so now he's still affected by his previous mood.
"Do I even have to say it? That I wasn't with a man, but with my sisters? I know it's not obvious...not in this case...but...I feel so stupid just because I'm saying this. Because, Harry...I have no reasons to cheat on you. And I'm not so stupid any more.
I. would. Never. Do. That. Ever. Again."
Louis says with the same calm voice, this time speaking slower.
It's like Harry can taste Louis' seriousness from the way he's speaking.
Louis gets closer to Harry, but keeps his hand on his knee.
Harry tries to stay still.
Now that he thinks about it, he was an idiot.
Did he really think Louis could cheat on him again?
After everything they've been through?
What about the tears, the entire days spent holding one another for some moral support, all the times they talked and tried to solve their problems, how they opened up and tried to leave their pasts in the past, and not in the present?
Louis would have never made so mamy efforts for nothing, and Harry knows that.
He knows that, he knows Louis, he trusts him almost completely, and he can feel Louis really is being serious in their relationship.
There are too many differences between the way Louis used to treat Harry and how he does it now.
How could Harry be so selfish and think the same thing of Louis? The only person who's not a part of his family -yet- who he loves with all his mind, heart, and body?
"I'm sorry." Harry says, and looks down.
Louis frowns in confusion and puts two fingers right under Harry's chin, so that Harry's looking at him again.
"What are you saying, Harry?"
"I'm sorry. I thought you actually did something. It's not nice. I shouldn't have thought those things, after all the time we've been spending together trying to overcome our insicurities. It wasn't nice of me."
Louis can't believe this amazing person is in front of him, talking to him, apologising for something that he thought, and he can't believe he's his -fucking- boyfriend.
He can't believe he has his soulmate in front of him.
"You don't understand how much I care about you. Right now the only thing that's in my mind is how amazing you are. Can't think about anything else."
Harry blushes and Louis desperately wants to kiss his red cheeks.
"You don't have to feel sorry. It's okay, Har. Really, it's okay, I know how it is. I'm with you, baby" Louis says, kissing Harry's cheek.
He removes his fingers off Harry's chin and Harry looks down as soon as he can.
Then Louis actually realises what Harry said, and he almost jumps.
"Wait. So you believe me when I say I was with my sisters the other day?"
Harry looks at him and nods after a second, "I didn't really know what to think, but...honestly...now that you told me everything I'm feeling better. I think you're not lying, Lou. You don't have a reason to do that. As you don't have a reason to cheat on me. At least, I like thinking so."
Louis smiles at Harry's words, "I really can't believe you're here, with me, telling me you trust me." he whispers, and Harry is really starting to feel better, so he lets Louis know that by cupping one of his cheek with the palm of his hand, looking at him.
"Didn't want to do that, but I can show you a video one of my sisters recorded the other day. You know, the day before yesterday. I want to prove you I was there, it's important to me as much as it is for you." Louis says, and it's like all the doubts Harry had before now don't exist any more.
"I don't want you to prove me anything. If you want to show me the video, then go ahead and do it, but you don't have to feel forced." Harry says, but Louis already has his phone in his hand.
"Didn't want you to watch it 'cause it's a bit embarassing, but I can live with it." Louis says, caressing Harry's knee.
He plays the video and makes sure Harry is able to see everything from the way the phone is angled.
The first thing Harry notices in the video is the way Louis is smiling at his little brother, which makes him smile almost immediately.
Louis was telling something to his brother, but Harry can't really get the words because who he assumes is one of Louis' sisters is speaking: "Hi, I'm recording this video because you, Mum, have to know Louis is a good baby sitter."
Both Louis and Harry are smiling now.
The Louis in the video looks at his sister and he apparently notices she's recording, so he waves to the camera and tell his brother to do the same, with no results.
"Look, Mum, he doesn't want to cooperate, that's sad." Louis' sisters adds, and Harry notices the slight sarcasm in his voice, which reminds him of Louis.
"She's Daisy." Louis quielty says to let Harry know who's speaking behind the phone, and Harry just nods.
Back to the video, Daisy is going through different rooms of the house -such as the kitchen and the two little twins' one- to show how Louis tidied them up, explaining the rooms were a mess.
Now Daisy's back in the living room, with Louis, his little brother and two other sisters Harry really can't remember the name of.
Harry can feel something change in his heart, a feeling of warm and love making its way inside him seeing Louis and his siblings together, Louis taking care of all of them just by himself.
He must be used to that.
Harry can feel the way Louis and his sisters are close to each other, in fact even if Harry visited them just once, he could notice Louis' family is a really happy one.
And Harry wants to be a part of it.
"Still recording?" Louis asks, looking at Daisy with a little smile.
"Yes! I miss you when you're not here, I have to record as many things as I can!" his sisters reply, and Harry slides his hand on the other side of Louis' waist, so that he's circling it with his arm.
Louis gets closer to Harry and keeps caressing his knee.
"I'm here almost every afternoon, honey, don't worry about that." Louis says softly, looking at one of the toys his little brother is playing with.
"But not during the evening! You should stay here the whole day as you used to do when I was little." Daisy says, and now Louis is looking at her, smiling.
"Because now you're an adult, right?"
The camera moves a little bit, so Daisy was probably nodding at that point.
"Almost. Right Phoebe?"
Daisy turns to another direction, and now there's a little girl seated on a chair, using her phone, who nods at Daisy, "Absolutely."
And now Louis is on the screen again, making Harry's heart beat faster.
"Why don't you come here more often? We could go to sleep in the same bed and try to sleep normally even if we don't have room to breath, right?"
Harry hears another voice which comes from someone who isn't in the video now, but he supposes it's Phoebe -if he remembers correctly.
"I think Louis would rather sleep with Harry, Daisy." says Phoebe, and the Louis on the screen blushes like crazy.
Harry chuckles and looks at him, analysing every detail of his face, thinking about how adorable he is, and then he can't help but turn his head in Louis' direction and kiss him on the cheek, feeling it a bit heated.
Louis just stays silent, smiling as soon as Harry's lips touch his skin.
"What do you mean?" Daisy asks, pointing the camera at her sister, who just keeps staring at the phone.
"Louis! What does she mean? Can't Harry come here with you? We can stay all together!"
Louis' on the screen again.
"Yes, of course, we can also have dinner together, if you want to." Louis says, looking at her and holding the two little twins in his arms, resting on his lap.
One of them is standing up on Louis' thigh and is trying to grab Louis' hair, but doesn't really succeed.
Harry wasn't ready to this, and in the meanwhile he completely forgot about what happened before and why Louis' showing him the video.
"Yes! I'm going to ask Mum, then."
Then everything is blurred and the screen becomes black, but Harry can still hear muffled voices.
"Good job, Daisy. Give me five, now."
Harry hears another noise, and then a soft chuckle.
The video ends with Daisy apologising, and Louis puts his phone on the coffee table in front of him.
"She'd dropped the phone at the end, if you're wondering." Louis says, turning his body in Harry's direction.
Then Harry remembers why Louis showed him the video, but he's still smiling.
"Shouldn't say this, but ya'll are so lovely. You especially." Harry says, his hand on Louis' shoulder now.
"I really love them." Louis says fondly, and Harry feels like something changed inside him and he loves Louis even more.
He tries to not say it to Louis, though.
"It's amazing. I really think your family is special, you know? It has something different, even if I just saw it once. That's the point. I still remember everything that happened that evening." Harry says, and Louis kisses his cheek.
"Thanks, Har. I like your family because you're just four people, really. I'm not used to that." Louis says, chuckling, and again, this is the power of the love they feel, because their mood completely switched from a negative one to a positive one.
Harry smiles and leans back on the couch, looking at Louis.
"What?" Louis asks. He's too overwhelmed now to understand Harry's moves. He can't believe everything seems to be back to normal now.
"Come here." Harry says, and Louis leans over him, sometimes it's nice when Harry tells him or suggests him what to do.
"Hey." Louis says, resting his weight on one side on his body, and Harry mimics him.
"Hug me." Harry says, and Louis wraps his arms around Harry's waist, Harry does the same, hugging Louis' shoulders, and they stay like that for a while.
Louis thinks he wants to marry Harry now.
They can do that, can't they?
Louis would ask Harry if he wants to, and then they'd spend the night kissing and feeling their bodies close to each other, gently touching one another and slowly making love, which they never did.
They just fucked. Hard.
Not that Louis or Harry want to complain about it, but still.
Louis just wants to do it really slow, to make Harry feel loved as much as he can, but he's not sure about Harry's feelings.
He knows Harry likes him, but does he love him?
Maybe it's too soon for that, Louis thinks.
It really is.
After all, six years and a half are not that much.
Chapter 4: March 29th, 2017
It's Friday night, and Louis is in front of a particular someone's door thinking about this someone. He should let him know he wants to see him, shouldn't he?
It's been two weeks since Martin's inconvenience, as Harry likes to call it in his head.
And it's been two weeks he's been avoiding Louis.
He doesn't avoid him completely, because it's against his own self and against what he really wants, who he really wants, but he's been acting really weirdly lately, and Louis just doesn't get why.
He doesn't want Harry to be hurt for something, doesn't want him to feel insecure about their relationship even if Louis is the first one to be.
He misses Harry, he hasn't seen him for two weeks because Harry said he was super busy, so Louis accepted Harry's excuses for two weeks and left him alone, to think, to do whatever he wanted to.
But now Louis feels like time is passing and things are getting worse, he feels like there's a space between Harry and him, and this space seems to be getting deeper and deeper, and he can't let that happen any more.
He did what Harry wanted him to do, didn't he?
Now it's time for Harry to tell him what's wrong and why he's been acting like that.
Louis knocks at the door with his surprisingly trembling hand and he has to wait for something like two minutes -which seems an eternity, really- before Harry finally opens the door.
Louis thought Harry wasn't going to open the door, he would have just called him or sent him a text saying that he was busy or that he had guests, as he's been doing lately, but this time he actually opened the door, and this is making Louis feel slightly better.
The two of them stare at each other, their heartbeats going crazy.
How could they not see each other, even if they live in the same building? Not just in the same building, but on the same floor.
Harry cuts Louis' thoughts off by opening the door more, and waits for Louis to step in, which he does a bit reluctantly.
Harry closes the door and leans down on it, looking at Louis.
Louis looks at Harry and at his body just for a second, noticing he's wearing what looks like a comfy outfit.
Louis just wants to hold him close to his body and feel it, caress his hair and look into his eyes and kiss him, kiss him, and kiss him, yes, kiss him until they fall asleep on one another's body.
Harry looks for a second at Louis' body, too, seeing he has the same kind of outfit he usually wears at home, his usual joggers and hoodie that make him look irresistible -which he actually is.
Harry sits down on the couch after entering the living room, waiting for Louis to do the same, and after a couple of seconds Harry's looking at his hands, Louis at his very interesting shoes.
They stay quiet for endless minutes, thinking about what they should do/tell, but neither of them seem to have enough courage to speak first.
That's it, before Harry gathers the little courage he has left on him and looks at Louis.
"I just needed to think about everything, you know. Didn't like what Martin said the other week."
Louis sighs and looks at him, he also winces a little bit seeing those green eyes staring at him, because he thought Harry was still looking down.
"You know I find it difficult to deal with..."
Harry doesn't finish the sentence, but Louis gets it anyway.
And he wants to laugh.
Of course it's all that piece of shit's faul, that Martin idiot, who had to make Harry feel even more insecure about the relationship he's in with Louis.
As if he doesn't already have enough doubts.
Louis clamps his lips and tries to stay silent. Harry doesn't need to hear the hatred Louis feels towards Martin.
"I know it's been two weeks, sorry. But, Louis..." Harry pauses for a moment and Louis looks away, "I'm not okay with myself lately, I don't know what's the truth and what it isn't."
Harry takes a deep breath and forces himself to keep looking at Louis.
"If I'm not alright with my thoughts and doubts, then how could you be alright with me? I'm not breaking up with you, if you're wondering. It's just that...I think I need a little more time to...process what's really happening, Lou."
Louis keeps staring in front of him, tightening his hands in two little fists, an attempt to take a fucking hold of himself.
He looks at Harry after taking a deep, deep breath, and nods while looking into his green eyes.
He wanted to kiss him, to hug him, to spend at least a couple of hours with him, since they don't even have work the following day. He wanted to kiss him and feel alive again, but now Harry says he wants some time to think.
And this is also because of Louis' fault and the way he acted years ago with Harry, it's also his fault, and he won't never get rid of his guilt, that's what makes him want to cry.
"Louis? Uhm...I'm sorry, I know it's not something nice to say, especially now, but I really think this will make...everything better. We just need to sort things out, Lou. That doesn't mean I don't care about you any more. Please, don't think that." Harry says, even if he doesn't know what it was.
Louis sighs again.
At least Harry seems to have good intentions.
Of course he does, Louis thinks, it's his lovely Harry.
He loves him so much.
"Don't worry. It's okay. You're right. It's okay. Hope I didn't bother you all this time."
Harry shakes his head and Louis stands up.
"Of course not. Just needed to think. Still do. But- oh, uhm, are you...already...leaving?" Harry asks stupidly, because of course Louis' leaving, Harry just told him he doesn't want to see him.
What kind of horrible person is he?
Telling Louis to go away, avoiding him for two weeks, making him feel confused and probably hurt, making the person he loves feel so bad?
Why is Harry doing this?
He doesn't freaking knows.
Louis looks down at Harry and nods, "Yeah. Sorry if I...interrupted you. See you, Har." Louis says, his voice hurt, and Harry grabs him from his hips before Louis walks away.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
"Wait." Harry looks up at Louis, feeling his stomach and heart flutter.
Now that he saw him and felt alive again, Harry doesn't want Louis to go away. He wants Louis to stay with him.
He misses Louis, he wants to spend his time with him, wants to feel loved and apprecciated, wants to feel safe.
Louis didn't cheat on him again. He didn't. It's okay, everything's okay, Harry doesn't need to ruin their relationship.
What was he doing?
"Har, really, gotta go. It's okay, don't worry." Louis says, his voice trembling a little while he removes Harry's hands off his hips.
Harry's feeling extremely sorry for him.
He's making Louis feel sad? Torn? What the fuck?
This has to be stopped.
Superman? Where are you?
Okay, no answers.
Harry just has to deal with it by himself, he guesses.
He was the one who started all of this, after all.
"No, Lou, wait, I have to tell you something else." Harry grabs Louis from his hips again.
What does he has to say?
Harry doesn't have a clue.
But the way Louis is looking at him...
He's not just looking, he's looking down at him, and he's standing.
He's standing, and Harry's seated on the couch, holding his hips.
And Harry misses Louis, in every single possible way.
And he's never sucked Louis off in their latest relationship.
(Yes, they're actually 'taking it slow', so.)
And he's an idiot because he spent two weeks without Louis, thinking it was the right thing to do, when it actually was the worst.
And Harry wants to lick Louis' dick, now that he thinks about it.
He desperatly wants to.
He's been wanting to do so for ages, literally.
"Harry, what d'you wanna tell me?" Louis asks, and Harry thinks about what to do and how to do it.
He can't wait any more.
He was stupid to say all those things to Louis, and now he wants to sort everything out.
"Louis, listen, forget what I said, okay? Forget it. Don't know why I did that. Forget what I said."
Louis frowns in confusion, "What? But-Harry-what-"
Harry slides Louis' joggers down and holds his hips tightly, looking at his clothed dick.
"Harry, can you explain what are you trying to- oh, fuck, okay, as you prefer."
Harry licks Louis' clothed dick and closes his eyes, smiling because Louis' funny even when he has his dick licked.
Harry sucks on the very tip of his dick, making Louis flutter his eyes closed and bit his lower lip to not moan already.
Not only that, he also feels brave enough to entangle his fingers in Harry's hair and gently pull on them, oh oh.
Harry hums at that, which makes Louis moan, because, let's be honest here, Louis' not used to Harry's moans.
Harry doesn't moan as he used to do, no, it's something different, his voice is deeper, he's just more fucking irresistible, and Louis could come now just thinking about Harry finally using his mouth on his dick.
"Har." Louis breathes, making Harry bite on his boxer-covered dick.
"For fuck's sake, Harry." Louis whispers, and Harry feels more confident now.
See? Two minutes ago they were almost crying, now they're moaning.
Harry looks up at Louis and licks his cock as much as he can, not caring he's also licking a pair of boxer.
He's not trying to be sexy, not at all.
He doesn't even need to try, Louis thinks.
It's like he's more excited than Louis, and Louis fucking loves him.
"Har...what you doing, babe? Thought you-"
Harry kisses Louis' lower belly slowly, closing his eyes, and Louis stops talking because as soon as he sees what Harry's doing and the way he's doing it, he forgets what he was going to say.
"Forget what I said." Harry says, still kissing Louis, with a voice more irresistible that Louis thought was possible for Harry to have.
Oh, right. We're talking about Harry, here.
"Yeah, you're making me forget about it." Louis says almost in a whisper, and Harry smiles at him when Louis caresses his hair.
Louis doesn't know what to do with this amazing person in front of him.
He wants to kiss him for hours and cuddle, or fuck the shit out of him until they don't have the strength to talk any more.
Louis' dick twiches in his boxer, and Harry notices it and apprecciates the view in front of him.
Harry's dick twitches in his boxers too, just the way Louis' did.
"You hard enough for me? Or...should I keep going..." Harry mouths Louis' clothed dick, bites it slightly, very slightly, but just the way Louis loves it.
"Can't you see, baby?" Louis asks, trying not to moan for what Harry's doing to him.
"Just wanted to make sure." Harry says, lowering Louis' boxer slightly, leaving a kiss right there.
He lowers the boxer a little bit more, kissing all the way down, and Louis' dick leaps out.
Harry's not drooling. Not at all.
Louis caresses his hair to encourage Harry, who looks up at Louis.
He's looking at him with those green eyes, with lust but also something which Louis doesn't get, it's like fondness or something, but it'd be impossible.
He doesn't know Harry loves him to the fridge and back.
Harry makes Louis step behind, confusing him, but when he drops down on his knees, Louis thinks he's going to come.
Harry is illegal.
He shouldn't look at Louis the way he's doing right now, with this mixture of love, lust and excitement.
"You're trying to kill me with those nice green eyes of yours, mh?"
Harry smiles at him -he smiles-, showing his dimples slightly, and then leans closer to Louis and licks his tip again, over and over again.
Louis tries to not close his eyes, because, really, he's never seen someone more beautiful than Harry -especially in this moment- and he just can't stop looking at him.
Harry's still looking at Louis, even when he wraps his hand around Louis' dick and starts stroking it slowly, adding a cat-lick on the head once in a while.
Louis curses or moans slightly everytime Harry's tongue caresses his dick, and Harry absolutely loves it -and he also loves the way Louis' looking at him, and the fact his thighs are trembling already, and that he's finally sucking him off.
"Been waiting so much to do this, Lou." Harry says, kissing every single inch of Louis' dick, and Louis takes a deep breath.
He's not used to get sucked off, and Harry also feels like he can tease him as if Louis' not going to come in any second?
"Yeah?" Louis asks, still looking at Harry, who nods at him.
"So so much." Harry says, and he slowly takes Louis' cock in his mouth, as if he's testing the water.
Louis' eyes flutter closed, and it's like he can't control them any more.
Harry sucks slightly at Louis' dick, reaching further with his mouth, and Louis' can't describe how amazing Harry's mouth feels.
When Harry starts moving his head up and down Louis' dick, using his hands to pump at the base, though, Louis curses under his breath and tightens his grip on Harry's hair, making Harry moan.
Louis chuckles, and Harry looks up at him, confused but also amused, because he's sucking Louis dick and he chuckles?
That's a life goal he's always wanted to accomplish, but he's realising it just now.
Louis' smiling now, looking at Harry.
"Nothing. You're just amazing."
Harry closes his eyes at the compliment and feels more confident than before, so he suck on Louis' dick harder and keeps bobbing his head on it, changing the angle once in a while.
"Been waiting so much for this, too." Louis says before letting out a moan, and Harry feels like he's going to come himself.
"Such a good boy, look at you."
Harry opens his eyes and looks up, but Louis closes his eyes as soon as he does so, because Harry makes Louis' dick slide further in his mouth and squeezes his balls in his hands.
Louis' out of breath, literally.
He wasn't prepared to this, nothing could have prepared him to this, not even his imagination -which has no limits, really.
"Harry..." Louis moans, clenching his hand in a fist, pulling at Harry's hair.
Harry moans again, moving his head faster, and when he looks at Louis, his dick twitches in his boxers for the millionth time.
This is his dream coming true, for fuck's sake.
(Well, one of them.)
"So good, Har, moaning for me while sucking me off. Such a good boy." Louis manages to say, and he has to steady himself on Harry's shoulder with his other hand.
Harry closes his eyes again and takes Louis even deeper, until his cock touches the back of Harry's throat. Harry chokes on Louis' dick for a second and Louis has never seen something more sexy than this before.
Harry pulls out and coughs once, stroking Louis' dick using his hands.
He looks up at Louis apologetically, and Louis opens his eyes in the same moment.
"Sorry, daddy. Not used to it." Harry says, his voice wrecked.
Louis' going to come.
"It's okay, baby." Louis says, almost choking on his own breath, and Harry leans over his dick and takes it in his mouth again, squeezing Louis' balls in his hand and sucking as hard as he can, looking straight in Louis' eyes, still surprisingly open.
Harry moans when he feels Louis' come sliding into his mouth, on his tongue and teeth, sliding down his throat, inside him.
He keeps looking at Louis and sucks on his dick, hollowing his cheek in a way Louis knows will never forget.
"Fuck, Harry." Louis says, caressing his hair and trying not to fall to the ground.
His legs are shaking, but it's okay.
He can balance himself, it's okay.
"My good boy."
Harry nods, sliding down Louis' dick, kissing the tip a few times.
Louis takes a deep breath, Harry too, and keeps caressing Harry's hair, now gently.
Harry licks Louis' dick a few times, just to clean it up a little bit, and then looks up at Louis.
"Kitten." Louis whispers, smiling, and Harry kisses the tip again.
He cleans the mess he has around -and on- his mouth using his hand, and he licks Louis' come off it.
Louis is not okay.
Harry kisses Louis again, this time on his lower belly, and puts his boxer and joggers back on, after removing his saliva off Louis' dick with his hand.
Louis tries to not get hard again.
"Thank you, Har. So precious." Louis leans down and kisses his head, then Harry stands up and Louis kisses his lips.
As always, he was going to say something like, you know, 'I love you', but, oh well, no.
"Sit down." Louis says, and Harry obliges immediately.
He loves it when Louis talks to him using that fucking voice.
Louis kneels down and parts Harry's legs, palming his hard-on from the trousers he's wearing.
Harry puts a hand on the back of Louis' neck, moaning at Louis' touch.
He's too turned on to supress his moans.
And he wants Louis.
He can't remember when was the last time they fucked, but, again, it's okay.
It's okay because now Louis' lowering Harry's trousers, sliding them down with his boxer, and Harry lifts his hips up to let Louis slide them down until they reach his calves.
"Miss you, Lou. So much. Please..." Harry can't help but beg, and Louis smirks at him and starts palming him slowly, pleased that he's rock hard.
"And you're so hard already? How come?"
Louis pretends not to know, and Harry moans slightly when Louis strokes his dick.
Louis loves Harry.
"You like sucking my cock, baby?"
Harry nods, completely out of control, and Louis leans down to bite one of his clothed nipples.
Harry hums something and arches his back slightly, and Louis presses his thumb on Harry's tip, circling it slowly but putting pressure on it.
Harry's already moaning as if he's going to come.
After all, he's been waiting for too long now.
"What did you call me?"
Harry looks at Louis' blue eyes, asking himself how it is possible for Louis to be that gorgeous.
"Daddy." Harry breathes, and Louis smirks even more, leaning down to suck on Harry's dick.
"Shit, baby. Just perfect." Louis whispers in Harry's ear after pulling out of him.
Harry has his eyes closed and is still breathing heavily.
But he's smiling, because Louis is such a precious human being.
"Gotta pee, Har. Drink some water and wait for me here, yeah? It'll take just a minute." Louis kisses Harry's lips and lowers himself on his body, licking Harry's come off his cock.
"Okay, yeah, Lou." Harry says, looking at Louis, who stands up and heads to the bathroom without even looking at Harry.
"Stay there, baby!" Louis reminds Harry from another room, and closes the door.
Harry takes a deep breath and smiles, thinking about Louis all over him, touching him, finally making love to him, praising him...
Louis is just Harry's angel.
A few minutes pass and Louis is still in the bathroom, so Harry decides to stands up and check if Louis' okay -he should be, since they've just had sex.
When Harry gets in front of the bathroom's door, though, he notices it's slightly open, and- what?
Harry hears Louis talking, and tries to understand what he's saying.
"You gotta talk lower or else he's going to hear you, why do I always have to remind you?" Harry hears Louis whispering, and frowns in complete confusion.
What is he saying?
"It's not my fault if your arse is so fucking perfect."
Deep breath in.
What is Martin doing in Louis' bathroom with Louis and why did he say something positive about Louis and what the hell is going on why did Martin mention Louis' butt.
What is happening here.
Harry's trying to stay calm and to not have a heart attack, that's what's happening.
Louis says something then, but Harry just hears a light chuckle, which seems to be Martin's.
"How can he be so fucking stupid?"
Who is he referring to?
Harry tries not to flinch at Martin's indignant question and tries to keep his breath even.
"I really don't know, but I'm completely alright with that. As long as I can fuck him."
Harry's heart cracks hearing Louis' reply and a few chuckles.
What is he saying? What does he mean?
They're not talking about Harry, right?
But, who else?
Louis isn't who he was seven years ago, he's changed, he's a different person now, he will never cheat on Harry again, he won't-
"Were you fucking him?" Martin asks, and Harry hears one of those sounds someone makes when they're kissing and humming at the same time.
This must be a prank.
A fucking, stupid prank which Harry doesn't find funny at all.
"Yeah, was just warming up, though. Told him to wait there, so he will."
After a moment, Harry hears the sound of kissing and a few moans here and there, and he feels like someone punched him so hard he's going to spill out of his body all the doubts he had about Louis -how his mind would remind him to not trust Louis, to be careful, to pay attention, to not get too close to Louis- by throwing up right there, as if his mind wanted to say 'I warned you'.
"Fuck, you're just..." Louis tries to say something which Harry doesn't get because Louis lowered his voice.
He's just, what? Is Louis actually referring to Martin?
He can't be serious.
They can't be serious.
This must be a prank, absolutely.
It isn't the truth, it would be literally impossible.
Harry wants to cry so bad, but if he does so he will never understand what's going on.
"I'm ready for you, love. Just fuck me and then you can go back to Harry and pretend you're a good boyfriend, yeah? Isn't it hot? That you're here with me while he's naked in another room? And you're using that mouth of yours so g- fuck, Louis."
When Harry hears Martin moaning and Louis doing it right after him, he steps forward and looks through the tiny space between the door and the doorframe, and his sight becomes blurry seeing Louis and Martin doing what he was doing with Louis not even ten minutes before.
Harry hurriedly knocks at Louis' door right when he comes back home from work and anxiously waits for his -for now- boyfriend to open the damn door.
When Louis opens the door and smiles at Harry, it's like everything is almost back to normal.
It's like everything is almost okay.
Louis' smile changes into a frown, though, when he sees the worried look on Harry's face.
"Hey...what's wrong, Har?"
Harry enters Louis' flat and folds his arms over his chest, looking at Louis.
He's trying to keep his expression blank, but he's not sure he's succeeding.
"Harry...you okay?" Louis asks, closing the door and walking towards Harry.
"I can't do this." Harry clears his throat to distract Louis from his trembling voice, and Louis feels his entire body shiver internally.
This time, in a negative way.
"What?" Louis asks, reaching for Harry's shoulders.
"Please, don't. I can't do this. You and me. It's a torture when I'm not with you. I can't." Harry says, his voice trembling slightly.
Louis looks as torn as Harry does right now.
"What happened, Har?"
Harry takes a deep breath and sits down on the floor, resting his head on his hands.
"I can't do this."
Louis kneels down on the floor right in front of him and takes Harry's wrists in his hands, and Harry looks up at Louis.
The looks on Harry's face makes Louis' stomach curl on itself.
"Tell me what makes you think that, Harry." Louis says as calmly as he can.
Harry takes a shaky breath and lets a tear run down his cheek.
"I keep having n-nightmares, Lou, and they're a-ll the same...or...I mean, t-there's always you a-nd you..." Harry sniffles, and Louis understands, feeling powerless because he can't influence positively Harry's subconsciousness. He'd already damaged it, now it can't go back to how it used to be.
Not entirely, at least.
"Tell me what they're about. It'll help." Louis softly says, tracing Harry's arms with his fingers
Harry suddenly hugs Louis, who holds him tight on his body, caressing his hair.
Harry's trembling in his arms.
"You'd just finished...uhm...m-making...I mean...love...yeah...with me...y-you know...and...then you entered your bathroom and fucked M-Martin..."
Louis frowns in disgust just at the thought of doing such a cruel thing towards Harry.
He keeps holding Harry in his arms, caressing his hair and trying to make him relax.
"You spent the whole day like this? Thinking about it?"
Harry nods, tightening his grip on Louis.
"You're still thinking about Martin and the day he came here, aren't you, baby? Wish I could make you forget about him."
Harry sniffles and Louis proudly notices his body's not trembling as much as it was.
"How often do you have this kind of nightmares?" Louis softly asks, kissing Harry's head.
"A-almost e-every night..."
Harry looks and sounds so weak right now, Louis wants to hold him until he's relaxed and at ease again.
"Would you like to cuddle and sleep with me? So that if you'll have another nightmare I'll be there holding you?"
Harry sniffles and looks up at Louis, his eyes lightly tear-stained.
He nods slowly after a few seconds, and Louis smiles his sad smile.
"We'll be alright, baby. I promise you. We will."
Louis kisses Harry's forehead and stands up.
Harry loves the fact Louis said 'we', instead of just referring to Harry. That makes him feel closer to Louis.
"Do you want to go out and have dinner with the most hilarious and amazing person ever?" Louis asks while Harry stands up, trying to cheer his -lovely- boyfriend up.
Harry lightly smiles at Louis and nods, thinking that if he actually wants to feel better he will have to have a walk and distract himself.
And he really misses going on a date with Louis in public.
Harry's smile widens at Louis' smile.
He nods and takes Louis' hand in his own.
"Where d'you want to go?"
Harry looks down and shrugges.
Louis raises Harry's chin with two fingers, and Harry helplessly looks at him.
"I desperately want to make you happy. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want me to do."
Harry gets closer to Louis and sighs, his arms now protectively circling Louis' waist, "You are everything I could ever ask for." he whispers, blushing when Louis doesn't tear his eyes off him.
Once again, Louis wonders why Harry is his -really?- boyfriend.
Louis doesn't know how it is possible for him to have such a nice person so close to him, so perfect for him.
Harry is not an ordinary person, and Louis apprecciates it every single day.
Louis cups Harry's cheeks with his hands and gently pecks his lips, which are slightly trembling.
'I love you.'
"I'm here, Har." Louis whispers, and pecks Harry's lips again.
Harry nods and lets Louis kiss him, brush his tongue on his, kiss him in a way only Louis is able to do to make Harry shiver not any more because of his fear and doubts, but because of how much Harry is deeply in love with Louis.
Harry's sure everyone else would have told Louis to fuck off for what he did in the past, if only he wouldn't feel a certain way towards Louis.
In fact, he can't picture his life without the blue-eyed man in front of him.
"Lou." Harry whispers on Louis' lips, feeling his entire body regenerate at Louis' touch, the way Louis' hands are sliding on Harry's shoulders, how they caress his body and make Harry feel safe in Louis' arms.
"You said your nightmare was about me and you making love, at the very beginning." Louis says, kissing Harry's cheek, which turns red.
"Do you want that?" Louis asks, kissing the other red cheek.
Harry doesn't know what to say. The way Louis' talking to him seems to be still soft and gentle, and Harry doesn't know how Louis can be so relaxed when he's saying something like this, since Harry's hyperventilating.
Does Louis love Harry, too? Does he really want to go further and make love?
Not just something everyone can do with their dicks, but something which involves real feelings, too?
"U-uhm...when I said...what we were doing I wasn't really thinking, sorry."
Louis looks at Harry, caressing his hips now.
"It's not a problem. Don't feel embarassed about it. I'm just curious, just want to know what you'd like doing."
Harry clears his throat to not choke on his own saliva.
"Oh, uhm...I don't know, I think something like that would be...okay...yeah, why not...one day, maybe..."
Louis smiles and pecks Harry's lips, which aren't trembling any more.
"Whatever you want, Har."
Harry feels so good right now, just because Louis' looking at him as if he loves Harry more than anyone else, and Harry actually feels loved, he always do when he's so close to Louis and there's just Louis and him.
He loves Louis, and as much as he tries to pretend he's not that important to him, he never succeed.
His heart won't never forget the way Louis makes Harry feel.
"Hope you like it here. Thought you wanted something simple. If you don't feel comfortable we can go somewhere else, it's early. We can go whenever you want."
Harry smiles hearing Louis' words.
Louis is actually caring towards Harry, it makes him more adorable than usual when he's all concerned about his -unique- boyfriend.
"I like it here. It's cozy. Don't worry, I'm okay. As long as-"
'I'm with you'.
Louis looks at Harry, visibly confused, "As long as, what?"
"Uhm...as long as...you like it, it's okay. Really."
Louis smiles at Harry and tries not to kiss him in front of everyone.
He doesn't want anyone to ruin their date.
"Let's go, then."
"Do you like it, babe?" Louis curiously asks Harry.
Now that they've been eating for a while he wants to know how Harry's feeling, if he's enjoying himself, if he's feeling better, if he likes what he's eating, if he has to go pee, you know.
Louis needs to know.
Harry nods, his expression is so peaceful right now it's like he's a beautiful angel back to his positive vibe.
Louis loves him.
Harry manages to be adorable throughout the whole day with no rests and Louis doesn't get how it is possible.
"Yeah? Glad." Louis says, and he keeps eating.
Harry swallows and curiously looks at him, "You?"
Louis nods and points at his plate with his finger.
Harry frowns in confusion, but then he gets it, "Yes, please."
Louis smiles and lets Harry try a little portion of his meal.
A few seconds later he gives Louis a thumbs up and asks Louis if he wants to try what he's eating.
"Just a little bit, thanks, Har."
Harry internally shivers at the way Louis called him, and does as he's told.
"You like it? I really do." Harry eventually says, and Louis nods.
For the rest of their date, they don't talk that much.
They just eat -which is very uncommon during a dinner, isn't it?- and look at each other as if they're two idiots in love -oh, right, they are.
And this is pretty much what happens, and it's nice, because both of them don't feel like they're in public while holding their hands on the table. They don't feel the people around them.
They just feel like there's Louis and Harry, and the present.
At the end of their dinner, Louis and Harry decided to come back home because they'll be having work in the following day. However, they took their time and didn't rush anything, trying to enjoy their date as much as they could.
Now they're outside the building of their flats, but neither of them want to interrupt the moment.
They're staring in front of them, okay, but there's this comfortable silence they really don't want to break, so Louis puts his hand on Harry's knee and caresses it.
Harry looks at him, slowly, and Louis knows he's looking at him, but he keeps his eyes focused on the road in front of them.
Harry smiles for no apparent reason and stares back in front of him.
After a while, he slowly makes Louis' seat slide back by pressing a little button underneath the seat, and Louis looks at him, purely curious about Harry's intentions.
Harry looks at him for a moment and sits on Louis' lap.
They both stare at each other and a few moments later Louis puts his hands on Harry's hips and kisses his chin.
Harry smiles and kisses Louis' cheek, and Louis pecks his lips.
They stare at each other for a few moments.
Harry leaves a last kiss -for now- on the angle of Louis' lips, and slowly opens the car door.
Louis smiles at him, kissing Harry's ear, and Harry smiles back at him.
His mind reminds him what he was going to do before Louis started distracting him with the adorable twinkle in his eyes, and when he climbs down the car he looks expectantly at Louis.
Louis mimics Harry's moves and closes the car, before taking Harry's hand in his own and heading with him to his flat.
They still stay silent when Louis opens the door and enters his house, followed by Harry.
They both head to Louis' bedroom and Louis starts undressing, avoiding Harry's gaze.
He doesn't want to have sex with Harry now, he knows his baby isn't in the mood, and Louis just wants to cuddle him.
Yeah, Harry makes Louis act as an innocent person sometimes, as much as he can have the opposite effect on Louis. It depends.
Harry fondly looks at him, seeing the way Louis' body is shaped, how tiny he is but at the same time lighlty muscular, not too much. Enough to make Harry think Louis' body is another wonderful aspect of his -amazing- boyfriend.
Louis looks at Harry when he's in his boxer and takes a pair of joggers to put on -the ones he uses to go to sleep.
Harry awkwardly starts removing his clothes too, and when Louis looks st him -just at his face- he blushes, making him smile.
As if they haven't had sex yet.
Louis hands Harry a pajama he occasionally gives him and leaves a kiss on his cheek when both of them are fully dressed.
Louis traces his fingers over Harry's jawline, and kisses him there, too.
He leaves Harry for a moment to go to the bathroom and when he's back Harry does the same thing.
When Harry's back, Louis is already on his bed, ready to sleep, but he's looking at Harry, waiting for him to join him.
Harry looks at Louis and shyly smiles. He climbs on the bed, curling on Louis' body and crosses their legs together.
He smiles again when he feels the warmness of Louis' body, and reckons this is one of those nights they just sleep without doing anything else, and Harry feels like he's floating for how relaxed and stress-free he's feeling in Louis' arms.
Louis could say the same thing, if only someone asked him.
Nobody asks him, though.
Louis gently moves his fingers on Harry's back, kissing his hair, and Harry sighs, feeling happy and content.
He tightens his grip on Louis and lightly squeezes his body.
Louis smiles and keeps caressing Harry's body, until he falls asleep in his arms and Louis feels like this is his dream coming true.
A few minutes later, Louis makes sure Harry's sleeping, and when he's completely sure, he looks at him and smiles, tracing his thumb over Harry's cheek.
"I love you, Har." Louis whispers, barely hearing his voice himself for how low it is.
He stares fondly at Harry for a little while, thinking about him, and he eventually falls asleep, still holding Harry in his arms.
Harry's breath gently helping Louis falling asleep.
Louis abruptly wakes up, alarmed.
He looks at the frightened version of Harry laying beside him and sighs.
"Har...was it another nightmare?"
Harry curls his body on Louis', squeezing his chest.
Louis doesn't want to see Harry so vulnerable and weak because of him.
"I'm here, Har. I'm always here for you, see?" Louis gently squeezes Harry's body and waits for him to calm down.
Harry says something, which Louis doesn't really get.
"Try again, Har. I'm a bit deaf."
"I'm s-sorry. I'm....such a mess...I'm like a baby..."
Louis sadly smiles and looks at Harry, "You're my baby, and I'm here to make sure you're okay. Do you want to tell me what happened?" Louis asks, yawning.
Not because he's bored, but because he's basically sleeping.
"N-no, I'd reather hear a fairytail."
Louis smiles slightly.
"Alright, now take a deep breath, Har. A deep, deep breath, and look at me. If you want to, that's it."
Harry does as he's told, and when he looks at Louis he feels something changing positively inside him.
"Just like that, Har. Now. Do you know I'm really glad you're here with me? That I do apprecciate you?"
Harry feels his cheeks flush, and rests his head on Louis' chest.
He knows Louis' telling the truth from the way his voice sounds.
It's not fake, Harry knows it.
"I take it as a yes?"
Harry nods against Louis' body, smiling slightly.
"And? Don't you have something to tell me back?"
Harry smiles, apprecciating Louis' efforts to make him feel better.
"I don't think so." Harry says, his voice still painfully trembling.
"Gonna kick you out of my bed, pay attention, Har." Louis says jokingly, as much as there's a part of him which is still asleep.
Harry looks at Louis, finally smiling, and Louis feels proud of himself, because he's the one who's making him smile.
"You can't do that." Harry says, climbing on top of Louis' body entirely, "I'm all over you."
Harry wraps his arms around Louis' body again and squeezes him.
Louis smiles, thinking that Harry's such a cute potato sometimes.
"You're a potato."
Harry looks at him, feeling visibly better.
Louis smiles, "You're a potato. A cute one."
Harry rests his head on Louis' chest again, "Uhm...yeah, I know I can be very charming when I want to."
Harry takes a deep breath, feeling more relaxed.
"Just when you want to, though." Louis playfully remarks, still hugging Harry.
Harry nods, glad there's finally Louis with him, that he doesn't have to pretend his nightmares don't exist because he has Lous comforting him.
All the tensed muscles relax, feeling Louis' hand caressing Harry's body.
After a while of the two of them staying silent, Louis starts caressing Harry's hair, whispering him how important he is.
And Harry knows he's telling the truth.
"Thank you." Harry whispers, and Louis sighs happily, because Harry's in his arms and he doesn't care he won't be able to fall asleep for the rest of the night.
He doesn't care, because he has Harry, and he really can't figure out how this moment could get better.
Because Harry's with him, holding him back, and Louis feels like his life is complete.
'I love you.'
~ if you're reading this, thanks ~
Chapter 6: April 3rd, 2017
Harry's supposed to work, but he can't stop thinking about Louis.
There's a particulat episode from his past he can't stop thinking about.
"Hi, baby. How are you?" Louis asked, as soon as Harry stepped into his flat.
Harry smiled at Louis and he kissed his cheek, "Fine, thanks. You?"
Louis smirked and closed the door, "Now that you're here I'm fine, too."
Harry looked down and played with the hem of his jumper, and Louis stepped closer to him.
"Baby. Hey, look at me."
Harry looked at Louis, still nervously playing with this jumper.
"So, does your little bum still hurt?"
Harry blushed, "Uhm...not really? Just a little bit."
"Good." Louis whispered in Harry's ear, circling his hips with his hands, starting kissing his neck slowly.
"What?" Louis licked Harry's ear.
"A-Are you happy with me?" Harry asked. He wanted to make sure he was doing what Louis wanted him to do.
Louis smiled and cupped Harry's cheeks with his hands, "Baby. Of course I am. You're wonderful."
Harry smiled and tried to look down, but Louis was holding his cheeks so he couldn't.
And Louis kissed him on the lips.
"Uhm..." Harry hummed something, his grip on Louis' shoulders.
Louis smirked on Harry's lips and bit his lower lip, "Don't want you to doubt it. Want you to be happy, yeah?"
Harry smiled and nodded, and Louis left another trail of kisses on Harry's neck.
Harry closed his eyes and leaned his head to the opposite side, "Lou..."
Harry's memories are blurried, so he doesn't really remember every detail of what had happened, it was too long ago, but he remembers that they fucked that day-which is not surprising.
He can't stop thinking that his relationship with Louis is absolutely wrong, just because the relationship he had with Louis was wrong.
He still thinks sometimes Louis is pretending to be someone he isn't.
But, they've been together for a few months now, and Harry can't believe Louis actually seems to be different.
He still has his doubts, sure, but he doesn't want to think about them.
However;, he can't stay away from Louis.
He tried to do that for two weeks and it didn't turn out well.
The blowjobs were fucking good, actually, but they're not really the point right now.
He doesn't know if he should stop seeing Louis or not.
What Harry knows is that he will never be able to do that.
But, honestly, he doesn't-
"Mr. Styles, your...boyfriend is here? He wants to see you, he said it's an emergency." Harry's secretary reluctantly says, and Harry gently smiles at her, hoping she'll feel at ease.
He straightens himself up on his chair and feels his cheeks heat up.
What is Louis doing there?
"Thank you, Monica. Please, tell him he can come in."
The girl nods and makes her way out Harry's office as soon as possible.
Harry wonders why she always act so frightened whenever she's with him.
He hopes he's not intimidating.
However, he's glad Louis' here now, he can't stop thinking about the past and he needs a bit of present-Louis to see how he really is and stop feeling so stressed out.
Harry's jaw drops when he sees Martin entering the room, and Harry stands up as soon as he hears Martin chuckling.
He thought Martin wasn't his boyfriend any more.
"What? You weren't waiting for me?"
"What do you want, Martin?"
Martin slowly starts walking in Harry's direction.
What is the idiot trying to do now?
What is he doing there?
What does he want?
"Oh, c'mon, don't call me that."
"I'm working, you can't come here and I can't stop doing my work." Harry says, as seriously as he can, trying not to let his feelings show.
Martin's not going to hurt Harry, right?
The look on his face is just a mask, after all.
"Which is what is happening right now." Martin remarks, leaving Harry in a loss of words.
"Just wanted to see how you were doing. Did Louis told you?"
Harry blushes hearing Louis' name.
He's hopelessly in love with him.
Martin smiles. He's being creepy and Harry doesn't know why he even was in a relationship with him.
He thought he was different.
He thought Martin was different.
The truth is, he wanted to get rid of his memories so much, he was so desperate, that he chose the wrong person.
"Oh? That he cheated on you! Didn't he tell you that?"
"I think you should mind your own business, Martin. Can you go now, please? I have a lot of work to do."
Martin smiles again, in the creepy way.
"He's a liar, Harry. Don't believe him, he's a bad person. Why don't you come over after you finish here? Would you like that?" Martin asks, getting closer to Harry, who tries not to step back.
"I wouldn't like that, I'm sorry. Why don't you ask someone else?"
Martin gets closer to him, "Haz, I really miss you. Remember when you said you couldn't stop thinking about Louis? Well, I can't stop thinking about you."
"I'm sorry, really. I'm with Louis now."
Martin reaches for Harry's shoulders, "But I want you."
What's wrong with Harry's life?
Why does he even tries to find an answer to that?
"Martin...I'm really sorry, okay? I've never really...uhm..felt something for you. You should stop wasting time with me. And stop wasting my time, you went past your limits. There's something called privacy, you know? If I tell you I can't see you, then you must stop seeing me."
Harry steps back now and Martin's hands slide away from him.
"Give me a chance? I know you love it when I-"
"Could you please not say something which deals with sex? It happened just a few times, remember?"
Martin frowns, "But I can make you feel good, remember?"
Harry shakes his head, "Martin, no, really, it was the past, okay? Think about the present. The past now doesn't exist. The present is now, it does exist. In the present, I'm with Louis, and I'm happy with him, so you could politely stop trying to get in my pants? I'd apprecciate that."
He's trying to convince himself the past doesn't exist, yes. Harry doesn't really know what happens next, but he can feel Martin's lips on his, not only that, but also his tongue.
What the actual fuck?
Harry pushes Martin away and tries not to think too much at what has just happened, or else he's going to be sick, "Out. Now."
But Martin steps closer to Harry once again and grabs him from his shoulders tightly, and he kisses him.
Harry shoves him back and tries not to make his emotions control his moves.
It's okay, everything's okay, nothing's going to happen because everything is completely oka-
Martin shoves Harry on the nearest wall behind him, but Harry quickly shuffles to the opposite side, and gets as far from Martin as he can.
Harry takes a deep breath and looks at Martin.
If looks could kill, Martin would be dead by now.
"What do you think you're doing?"
Martin smirks and licks his lips, "Trying to take back what's mine?"
Harry chuckles, an attempt to make Martin think he's confident about his moves, that he's strong, that he's not going to cry just because Martin's been texting Harry for months and trying to see him for months, or because now he's here and they're alone and Harry wants Louis right now.
He can do that.
"I'm not an object. You didn't even learn that about me?"
Martin steps closer and Harry carefully steps back.
"Why are you so difficult with me? I just miss you, what's wrong with that?"
Harry takes a deep breath without making it look too obvious (hopefully).
He looks for his mobile on his desk with his gaze and when he finds it, he calculates in his head how many possibilities he has to take it before Martin can stop him.
He tears his eyes off his mobile phone and looks at Martin, still thinking about what to do.
Martin is closer to the desk than him, which is not good.
It's not good because Martin looked where Harry's gaze was directed to, and Harry thinks he's fucked when Martin slowly gets closer to the desk.
"Really, Martin, you should really fucking go away from here. I'm not going to ask nicely again." Harry says, getting closer to the desk as well.
"I like it when you don't ask nicely, Haz. I mean, you always manage to look ridiculously sexy, but when you get angry you're a fucking work of art."
Harry keeps his facial expressin blank and tries not to react to Martin's words.
"Don't you dare step closer." Harry says instead, and they both rush to the desk.
Needless to say, Martin takes Harry's mobile and unblocks it.
Harry curses under his breath. He knew he should have put a password to it but he was too tired to do it and he forgot.
"Give it to me. Now."
Martin smirks, "Aw, look, there's Louis. How cute."
Harry reaches for his mobile phone, but Martin jerks his arm back.
"Why? Can't I see what's in here?"
With a quick motion, Harry manages to take his phone back, and he doesn't know why it was so easy.
Probably because he's stronger than Martin.
"C'mon, wanted to see more Louis' pics."
Harry steps closer and tries to dial the first number he thinks about, but Martin steps forward and after a few tries drops Harry's mobile phone.
Harry was fucking holding it tightly. Maybe his hands were trembling a little bit too muh.
Now he just has to make it to the door and open it.
"You have serious problems going on in your mind, you know?"
Martin smirks and gets closer to him, "I know what I'm doing. I can't just let you go, Harry."
"Why? Why can't you do that?"
Harry tries to keep his voice steady.
He's going to cry soon.
He's too stressed out, he's going to cry soon.
Martin takes Harry's chin in his fingers, squeezing it.
Harry flinches and tries to step back, but after a few steps Martin shoves him on the wall beside him.
Harry flinches again and closes his eyes for a moment.
When he opens them back, they're slightly teary, but it's not one of his biggest concerns right now.
He tries to remove Martin's grip on him, but he's not putting enough efforts in it.
He feels like all of this is going to end up really bad, his mind is elsewhere and his muscles can't work properly without his mind functioning correctly.
"Baby. Look at me." Martin's voice reminds Harry of how Louis used to talk to him, and he snaps back to reality.
Harry quickly steps to the side and shoves Martin's body back with all the strengh and rage he has on his body, "I'm not your fucking baby. Go away, I'm not kidding, Martin."
Martin chuckles and shakes his head, "You don't want me to go. Admit it. You're just teasing me."
Harry quickly heads to the door and opens it as widely as possible.
Then he waits for Martin to exit, pretending anything happened.
"I'd like you to go and never come back again, thank you. If you don't want, though, it' okay, I'll make you do that in one way or another." Harry clears his throat and clenches every single muscle in his body to mantain his posture and to not start crying.
Martin gets closer to Harry and kisses his cheek, "I know you want me. And stop being so fucking hot."
Harry looks in front if him and clenches his jaw tighter, "Bye, Martin."
Martin looks at Harry one last time, "See you, Haz."
Harry closes the door as soon as Martin's out, and locks himself in the room.
He decides not to acknowledge the fact his fingers are lightly trembling, then sits on his chair and tries to work on what he was trying to do before his memory brought him pieces of his past back.
He ignored the tears that once in while slided down his cheeks and kept working.
As soon as Harry's work day ended and he was back to his house, hopefully safe, he rushed to Louis' door and knocked, maybe a little bit too loudly.
Now he's waiting for Louis to fucking open the fucking door and he's thinking about what he's going to say to him.
He needs to calm down.
He needs Louis.
He needs Louis and wants him to distract him.
He needs Louis.
"Please." Harry whispers, now that he's not knocking at the door any more, and he almost starts crying when he sees his lovely beautiful caring and gentle Louis opening the door.
"Hi, babe. Sorry, I was in the bathroom, how are-"
Harry lunges forward and cups Louis' cheeks with his hands, kissing him quickly and messily.
He's trying to feel every single part of Louis' mouth.
He wants Louis and he wants to feel at home, in his arms, he wants to forget and wants Louis to be with him for the rest of his life.
Louis hums something in surpise but then he relaxes under Harry's touch, while Harry's as still as a wooden plank.
He closes the door with his foot and slides his tongue in Louis' mouth, kissing him with a carnal need he's never used before.
Louis chuckles on his lips, oblivious to Harry's emotional state, and they walk until they find the couch, still kissing.
Louis squeezes Harry's body in his hands and kisses his cheeks then, "Hey, you okay? You missed me, didn't you?"
Harry pulls away and starts taking his clothes off as quickly as he can.
Louis is confused, but he's not going to stop his baby.
He knows sometimes Harry gets pretty stressed out because of his work, and he wants to make him feel more relaxed every time he can, so Harry's not talking probably because he can't wait.
Louis' going to make sure he knows what happened to Harry in a second, though, because he knows there's something wrong there.
"You okay, babe?"
Harry nods and lays down on the couch as soon as he's completely naked.
He looks at Louis and asks him to get closer to him just by using his eyes.
Louis slowly and absolutely carefully gets near Harry, kneeling beside him.
Harry shakes his head no and Louis looks at his watery eyes and brushes his fingers on Harry's hair.
"What's wrong, baby? You can tell me." Louis says softly, looking into Harry's eyes apparently full of pain.
Harry shakes his head and takes Louis' hand in his, positioning it on his dick.
Louis removes it as soon as Harry does that, "No, first you tell me what's wrong, then you tell me why and then, maybe, if you're okay we can do that."
Harry shakes his head and starts crying silently, squeezing Louis' hands.
He doesn't know why he's doing that, he feels like he needs Louis to be there and wants to feel loved.
He wants to feel loved and forget about the past, even the past from half an hour ago.
"Baby. You're scaring me. Tell me what's wrong, please." Louis starts feeling sorry for Harry, he can feel something inside him clench at the thought that Harry's clearly not okay.
Harry shakes his head and wipes his tears away.
Louis was actually going to do that.
"You can tell me anything, Harry."
Louis whispered, kissing Harry's cheeks and then tracing Harry's fingers with his own.
He almost forgets about the fact Harry's nacked.
Harry bites his lower lip to stop crying, and Louis gently pecks him there.
"Don't do that." he whispers on Harry's lips, kissing him again.
Harry can't stop crying, Louis doesn't know why, but they're kissing.
Louis can do that.
If Harry doesn't want to say what's wrong, it's okay, Louis can kiss him until he'll feel better, but he won't do anything that goes further than kissing.
He has respect for Harry and wants to show it to him, not just say it. "My baby." Louis praises Harry, kissing his lips once again.
He looks at Harry with a sad look that matches Harry's, and caresses his hair, "Shh, it's okay. It's okay, yeah? I'm here."
Harry looks at him with his eyes watery and red, but he seems to be feeling more relaxed. Just a little bit.
"Do you want some water?"
Harry shakes his head, his throat absolutely sore as he swallows -and not because he deep throated.
Louis takes Harry's clothes off the floor and puts them on a chair, and Harry starts crying again.
When Louis is kneeling beside Harry, he kisses his cheeks and wipes his tears away.
Harry clenches his hands on Louis forearms, staring at him, and Louis feels like his heart is not going to take it.
Harry says something, but Louis really can't make out what it is.
"Yeah? What do you want, baby?"
Harry takes a deep breath and looks at Louis, begging him to do something.
Louis doesn't get what could have made Harry feel so weak.
He hopes he isn't the one to make him feel that way.
"P-please." Harry says, his voice trembling.
Louis instintively kisses his cheeks again and Harry stops squeezing his forearms.
Louis smiles slightly and takes one of Harry's hands in his.
"Please, what?" Louis squeezes Harry's hand and caresses his forehead.
Harry closes his eyes, "Lou...p-please...want you to...w-want..."
Louis frowns in confusion and kisses Harry's lips.
"Want me to...?" Louis resuggests.
"Fuck me." Harry says, and a few tears slide down his cheeks.
He opens his eyes and looks at Louis, feeling so weak and miserable he just wants Louis to make him feel loved.
But he can't say that to Louis, he can't say he loves him, he has to pretend he want to be fucked and that's it.
"I can't do that." Louis says, kissing Harry's lips again, "I'm sorry. I won't do that."
Harry feels ashamed all of a sudden because he's naked in front of Louis, and he doesn't want to fuck him?
Who else in the world would say something like that when they have a naked body beside them?
And, fuck, this is why he loves Louis.
He loves present-Louis.
Past-Louis would have already fucked him, right now they'd already had started a second round, but present-Louis is caressing Harry and trying to calm him down, he really cares about Harry, he would never use him.
Harry loves present-Louis.
This is why he's crying harder.
"Baby." Louis whispers, "You don't deserve to feel like that. I'm so sorry, Har, believe me, I don't want to see you like that, sweetheart."
Harry calms down very slighly hearing Louis' words, but he's still crying.
"You don't deserve it." Louis kisses Harry's cheeks and stands up.
"P-please, Lou. W-want you to." Harry begs Louis with his eyes too, and Louis apologetically looks at Harry.
"I'm going to take some clothes for you, yeah? So that you can feel more comfortable. Then you'll tell me everything, okay? If you want to." Harry sniffles and Louis' heart cracks a little bit more at the sight of Harry's red eyes circled by tears and the pain Louis still has to find out what it is about.
Harry nods, feeling so stupid just because he said Louis he wanted him to fuck him.
He could have just said the truth.
He could have just said he needed to feel loved.
But he didn't, and now it's too late.
He loves Louis, he loves the way he praised him and actually made him feel better, he loves how caring Louis is, while with his friends he acts the opposite (Harry knows that because lately they've been going out with Louis' friends, too).
Harry's so happy to have Louis now. He really is.
It's not like when he was sixteen, when he was happy just because he was in a relationship, because at that time he could have been happy with anybody.
But now it's different.
Now he's completely different, Harry knows that.
He can feel it in his heart and mind.
Louis steps in the room sooner than Harry expected and hands him some clothes.
"Look, baby. These are for you. I don't think now it's the best time to have sex, now, don't you agree?" Louis asks, putting a pair of boxer on Harry.
Harry nods slightly, because now that he thinks about it, it wouldn't have been the best thing to do, and Louis looks at him and smiles.
"We'll do that as soon as you feel better, yeah?"
Harry nods again, feeling loved, just the way he needed to feel, and Louis puts a pair of joggers on him, which are slightly short for Harry, but he's still adorable.
"I just hope you're alright with that. Sometimes we make bad choices and we're not as conscious as we think we are, right? Bad choices don't always make good memories."
Harry sighed and nodded, slightly smiling now.
He's just realised he's not crying any more.
Harry can't help but compare Louis to Martin.
Louis is like an angel, someone who cares for him who's just showed him how important Harry is for him.
Louis cares for him, he's just showed him.
Harry loves Louis.
Martin...well, he'd rather not think about him.
It basically is a version of who Louis was, but more dangerous.
When Harry's fully dressed he looks at Louis and makes grabby hands, Louis fondly smiles at him and hugs him, even if they're on the couch.
Louis doesn't have to ask anything else to Harry, in fact he just kisses him once in a while and holds him close to his body.
When Harry will be feeling comfortable enough, he'll tell Louis everything, he doesn't need to be pushed.
"This is what you deserve." Louis whispered, kissing Harry's nose.
Harry feels loved again. "Did you know that? That this is what you deserve?" Louis asked softly, kissing Harry's cheeks.
Harry sniffles and nods, smiling.
"Hope you're feeling better, sweetheart."
Harry squeezes Louis' body, "I like it when you call me that. It's been a while."
Louis smiles and kisses Harry once again.
Harry pulls slightly away and looks at Louis.
They're laying down on one side, their legs enterwined.
Louis' hand is on Harry's hip, caressing it, and Harry's tracing Louis' lips with his thumb.
"I kind of overreacted to something. I feel stupid."
Louis smiles and kisses Harry's thumb.
"You're the one who told me it's okay to cry."
Harry thinks about it for a moment.
Hey. Louis is right.
Harry takes a deep breath, "Thanks. I don't want to ruin this moment, though. Maybe...I'll tell you later?"
Louis gets closer to Harry and pecks his lips, glad that Harry's talking normally again, "Just if you'll cook for me."
Harry smiles and shakes his head, "I don't want to."
Louis raises his eyebrows and kisses his nose, "Then you'll have to cook for you. Which is sad compared to cook for me."
"You're the worst." Harry says, smiling, and Louis wants to kiss him.
Just for a second, just a little bit.
So he kisses him.
Maybe he kisses him for a little bit longer than a second.
Just a little bit.
Chapter 7: April 4th, 2017
Harry knew he shouldn't have done it.
He knew he shouldn't have told Louis what had happened with Martin when he was at work, but he had to tell Louis anyways because- well, because he's Louis, and Harry wanted him to know, he wanted to feel better and he just wanted Louis to tell him everything was alright, Harry wanted Louis to cuddle him and kiss him, telling him Martin wasn't going to get near him again or- Harry doesn't even know.
He just wanted to tell Louis and feel safe in his arms, with Louis' words soothing him, watching a good film they would end up ignore because, well, a little kiss here, a little kiss there...
But once again, Harry's expectations aren't as good as the reality.
Definitely not, since Louis' look right now could kill every single thing/person.
Harry moves a bit on the couch the two of them are sitting on, and looks down as soon as he notices Louis clenching his jaw.
If the situation had been different, Harry would have found what Louis just did one of the sexiest thing ever, but since this is not the case, Harry's hands are just trembling slightly.
He slowly puts them underneath his butt and takes a deep breath, hoping Louis won't notice.
Did he see his hands?
Why is he so serious right now?
Why isn't he saying one of his sarcastic remarks?
Harry's eyes are glued on his crossed legs.
Louis takes a deep breath and lowers his voice, "Har."
Harry swallows and keeps looking down.
He doesn't know why he's reacting like a child.
He waited a whole day to tell Louis this story, he had to get psychologically ready somehow, and now what?
He just wanted Louis to kiss him, is it too much to ask?
"I don't like what he did. Of course I don't. But I'm not going to talk about him. Don't want to waste my time, and yours. I just don't get how he could just...just fucking think to do something so...to you..."
At this point Louis sounds like he's talking to himself, actually cursing over Martin and repetitively asking himself (out loud) how Martin can be so rude and disrespectful.
Those were the same words Harry'd said to him a few years ago, Louis reckons , and now everything's getting worse.
Harry slowly raises his head to look at him, and Louis stops talking.
The look on Louis' face is astonishing painful, so much that Harry almost forgets what he said, why and Louis' cold reaction.
Harry's expression is mirroring Louis anyways.
"You're right. Let's just not...talk about it...about him...just wanted you to know what happened 'cause...you know...I'm trying to be a little bit more...I mean, I want you to know what happens in my life, I guess?"
Harry's insecure voice makes Louis calm down immediately.
Louis reaches for Harry's hands, but he notices they're tucked underneath Harry's body.
"It's the same for me. Don't your hands hurt like that?"
Harry shakes his head and Louis gets closer to him.
He cups Harry's cheeks in his hands and slowly kisses his nose, his forehead and -last but not least- his lips, gently pressing his own on Harry's.
That's when Louis feels a tear dropping on his thumb.
Harry closes his eyes and removes his own hands from the position they were in, because Louis probably knows now he's trying not to cry, so there's no point in hiding his trembling hands, and more tears slide down his cheeks as he lets them go, feeling safe in Louis' touch.
Louis looks at Harry for a moment and kisses his tears, then he starts caressing Harry's hair, knowing Harry just needs him to support him.
Harry sighs, feeling Louis' fingers caressing his head, feeling relaxed, feeling loved.
"I t-thought you weren't going t-to...to do t-this..." Harry says weakly, making Louis smile slightly.
'I love you'.
"I'm here because I want to support you no matter what, or else I'd have just sent you a text and pretended I was interested. Sorry if I looked like I was going to murder someone before."
Harry takes a deep breath, his tears now slowing down on his cheeks.
Harry doesn't know what to say, though.
"Wish I could cheer you up a little bit." Louis says, kissing Harry's cheeks, and Harry looks at him through his lightly tear-stained brows and moves closer to Louis until he's sitting on his lap and he's hugging Louis more likely a koala would do.
"I was just worried you were going to blame me. I didn't call him. I swear I didn't. I didn't know it was him, thought it was you. I didn't...Lou, I didn't mean to...I mean, I didn't cheat on you, okay? Please, Lou."
Harry's crying silently on Louis' shoulder, and Louis hugs him tightly on his body, feeling extremely sorry for the love of his life but also glad Harry's such an amazing person so caring and lovely.
"It's okay, Har. I know you didn't. I know everything, 'cause you told me. I know the things you told me are true, so you don't have to feel like you owe me an explanation. Now just enjoy my shoulder where you can cry on, yeah? Please?"
Harry smiles at that, feeling a bit moody, but also lucky to have Louis.
He looks at Louis and wipes his tears away, "Seriously?"
Louis nods, "Yeah, of course, Har. Now, c'mon, my shoulder's waiting."
Harry's still smiling slightly when he shakes his head and pecks Louis lips.
"See? The shoulder is the key, then." Louis says, glad their mood are slowly getting better, more 'cheerful'.
Harry nods and hugs Louis again, feeling calmer.
"Fancy a film? Cinema?"
Harry thinks he's actually dreaming right now.
He nods quickly and asks himself why he was so stupid to think Louis wouldn't have tried to make him feel better and hug him and kiss him and bring him out with him to have fun and free their minds.
So he kisses Louis as an apology.
Harry and Louis are exiting the cinema, both of them satisfied with the cartoon they just finished watching, at the point they don't care they're talking about it and almost screaming because of how excited they are.
Still smiling like two idiots, they enter Harry's car and head to their flats.
"We should do that more often, you know?" Harry asks, once that he's a little bit calmer and can manage to speak with a normal voice.
Louis smiles, looking at him, nodding, "It was sick!"
Harry chuckles and tries to focus on the road and not on the adorable person he has beside him who's caressing his thigh with his tiny little fingers.
"I have a feeling about this...like...we aren't going to stop talking about that amazing cartoon anytime soon." Harry says, his voice now lower than before, and Louis has to stop thinking about the fact they still haven't had sex in a car.
"You're right, Har." Louis says, leaning over him and kissing his cheek for a brief moment.
Harry smiles slightly and looks for a moment at Louis, just enough to make his heart beat a little bit faster, and then forces himself to look back at the street.
"What are you looking at, you stalker?" Louis asks, his hand now rested on Harry's knee for the sake of both of them.
Harry smirks and shrugges, "Can't reveal my identity."
"Well, thank you. I buy you pop-corns and you say you can't reveal your identity. Sometimes you're just so-"
"Amazing. I know, honey." Harry says before Louis can finish his sentence, and they both smile.
"Was going to say you're not as nice as you seem to be. Also rude, boring, what else?"
Harry can't look at Louis right now but knows he's smiling from the way his voice sounds.
"Uhm...well, let's just say...very very ugly and even stupid, sometimes."
Harry hears Louis chuckling almost silently, which makes him smile again.
"Okay, now, seriously, do I need to tell you how incredibly beautiful you are? At least, to me? Do you have an idea, of how stunningly beautiful you are in every single aspect of yourself?"
He didn't expect Louis to say all that stuff, he was unprepared, okay?
So he just smiles and tries to hide in his shoulders, without success.
Louis' staring at him, smiling seeing the way his baby reacts to his compliments.
He completely forgets about anything that isn't Harry.
"Thanks." Louis hears Harry saying, his voice so quiet Louis wonders if Harry actually thanked him or if it was just his imagination.
"Anytime, babe, but mine was actually a question. Don't know, maybe you want to give me an answer before the day ends?"
Harry's cheeks are still red and Louis is trying not to lean over him and kiss him everywhere.
"Oh...u-uhm...yeah...well, okay...I mean, if you say so, then I guess...it's okay?"
Louis chuckles and shakes his head slightly.
Once they're on the doorstep of Harry's door, Louis leans over him and finally kisses his lips, stepping away the following second just in case someone could see them.
Harry looks at him as if he wants Louis to do something more, and then takes a deep breath.
Why is he nervous?
"I...uhm...do you want to...I don't know....come over?"
Louis smiles fondly and takes Harry's hand in his own, not even checking if there's someone else near them, not even checking if someone's looking at them.
"Of course I do. Just if you want to, though." Louis says, still looking up at Harry.
There's something about the way Louis' looking at him that's making Harry's feelings go in every direction, circling around his body and making him feel so dazed and overwhelmed the only word he has in his mind is 'Louis'.
"I do. This is why I asked." Harry says, more firmly now, making Louis smile once again.
"You don't have to feel nervous with me, though. Never." Louis says, still looking lovingly at Harry, who's trying not to melt at Louis' words and the tender way he pronounced them.
"Uhm...it's just me, you know. I'm not really...okay, yeah, but I'm not always like that with you. It depends."
Louis smiles, "Oh, yeah? Thanks for telling me how you act around me, 'cause, really Harry, I didn't know!"
Harry chuckles and looks at the wall which is a few feet behind Louis, feeling a bit -yeah- nervous.
"No problem, Lou. So...I'm just going to open the door, yeah?"
Louis smiles at Harry's awkward moves while Harry turns around to open the door.
He tries not to kiss his hair but he's sure he'd have already done it if only he was a little bit taller.
After they step in, Louis removes his jacket and Harry his coat which makes him look way too gorgeous and Louis enters the kitchen and takes a glass.
"Can I drink some water?"
Harry frowns in confusion and joins Louis in the kitchen, looking at him.
"Uhm...of course? I mean, why are you even asking?"
Louis shrugges and pours himself a glass of water.
Luckily the water bottle was already on the table or else it'd have been too challenging to go look for it and take it.
"You know, now it's you who's asking the question." Louis says, smirking while putting the glass on the table.
Harry looks at Louis' lips for a moment and then clasps his hands behind his back.
"Guess you're right."
Louis smiles, sensing Harry's actually nervous about something, and he gets closer to him.
"How come you're so nervous, Har?"
Harry rests his hands by the sides of his waist and steps back, "I'm not nervous. I'm just tired, you know."
Before Louis can say something, Harry is walking out of the room, leaving Louis confused.
He waits in the kitchen for a minute or so, just to give Harry some space, and then he looks for Harry in the house.
"Harry, you know, if you're nervous- I mean, tired- we can see each other another day, yeah? Don't feel forced to stay with me." Louis carefully says outside Harry's bedroom, once that he finds out it's locked and Harry's in there.
"It's okay, Lou I'm just putting more comfortable clothes on. Almost done." Harry says, sounding less nervous than before, and Louis sighs.
Harry's voice was...different, and Louis doesn't understand what's going on.
Harry doesn't have problems when it comes to getting naked in front of him, but Louis guesses he just wants some privacy.
Which is completely understandable.
"As you prefer, tell me if you want me to go, though."
Louis doesn't get a reply, so he just heads to the livingroom and sits down on the couch, waiting for Harry.
He can't help questioning himself.
Did he do something wrong?
Perhaps he was too invasive?
He doesn't remember doing something negative towards Harry or something that could have embarassed him, they spent the whole evening laughing and having fun.
Harry's mood changed drastically when they entered the car, though, especially when they were in front of Harry's doorstep and he asked Louis to come over.
Maybe Harry's actually tired so he's acting differently (even if Louis knows Harry doesn't really act differently when he's tired)?
Maybe he should be more careful.
Louis snaps back to reality and looks at Harry, who's looking at him and sitting beside him on the couch.
"Hey. Everything okay?" Louis asks, turning his body in Harry's direction.
Harry smiles and nods, moving a little on the couch.
"Okay. Nice. So...since I don't want to be a problem and you probably are really tired by now-"
Louis stops talking as soon as Harry sits slowly on his lap, straddling his waist.
"Oh, okay, you don't want me to go?" Louis asks, circling Harry's waist with his hands.
He hopes Harry can't feel the way his dick twitched as soon as Harry seated right on it.
Harry shakes his head and leans over Louis' body, kissing his jawline.
Louis immediately closes his eyes and relaxes his body underneath Harry's.
"What happened in that room? Did you tell yourself to act a bit more confidently?"
Harry sucks a bruise on Louis' skin, making him arch his spine slightly.
"That was the beginning. Now the awkward part is just a memory."
Louis smiles and opens his eyes to look at Harry, "The awkward part was asking me if I was up to you sitting on my lap? Don't worry, really, I'm always up to it."
Harry pecks Louis lips.
"Like your cock?" Harry whispers on Louis' lips, and Louis bites his lower lip.
As a result, Harry starts grinding on him while he slides his tongue in Louis' mouth.
Louis squeezes Harry's hips in his hands and helps him with his moves, roughly kissing him back.
Harry starts grinding on Louis' lap slightly faster, which just makes him moan since he's already worked up.
Louis pulls away for a moment to look at Harry, and starts kissing his neck, sometimes biting his skin.
Harry stops grinding on Louis and, with his eyes still closed, leans his head to the side, completely caught up by Louis' lips on his neck.
"Lou..." Harry breathes as soon as Louis starts kissing his collarbones by slightly lifting Harry's body up.
Louis gently lowers Harry's body on his lap, in the position it was at the very beginning, making Harry moan for no apparent reason.
However, Louis is not going to scold him for this.
"You're so fucking beautiful." Louis says in Harry's ear, kissing it afterwards.
Harry's facial expression relaxes -he didn't know he was tensing it- and smiles at Louis words.
He looks at Louis, who's looking back at him, and takes a deep breath to calm down.
He feels like he's going to come.
Instead of coming or just saying a very cheeky compliment back to Louis, Harry takes Louis' hoodie and t-shirt off, tracing his chest with his fingers.
"Could say the same thing about you." Harry then says, kissing Louis' neck a little bit more.
Louis completely relaxes on the couch once again, leaning his head back untill it's resting on the couch.
Harry kisses the central part -or park, as you prefer- of his neck, lowering himself on Louis' body as much as he can, until he's kissing Louis' collarbones.
"Why you're still dressed?" Louis asks, palming Harry's clothed dick.
Harry doesn't even have the time to reply.
"So hard for me, aren't you, sweetheart?"
Harry bites Louis' skin for a moment and moans right when Louis puts more pressure on Harry's body.
"Yeah..." Harry whispers, and then he looks at Louis, risking to fucking come already.
"Look at you. Already so wrecked. You're just perfect." Louis leans forward and whispers on Harry's lips.
Harry kisses him and smiles, feeling loved, just the way he likes.
"Let me take these off, yeah?" Harry asks pulling away from Louis, slowly standing up.
Louis stares at him and asks himself why Harry's moving so slowly, but he gets distracted as soon as Harry takes his t-shirt off.
Louis removes his joggers, trying not to drool in front of Harry, but he finds it hard not to do that when Harry's just in his boxer, looking at him.
"I feel like you're going to be the death of me." Louis says, while Harry slowly slides his boxer down his legs.
Louis mimics him, but his moves are quicker, so that now they're both naked.
"Hope I'm not, Lou."
Harry says, slowly sitting on Louis' lap again.
Louis smiles and kisses Harry, deepening the kiss right when Harry parts his lips, making the two of them get even closer.
Harry reaches for their dicks and rubs his hand up and down on them, moaning into Louis' mouth, feeling Louis' skin so close to his own.
Louis slides his hands down Harry's back, making him arch it slightly, and grabs Harry's butt in his hands.
When he tries to enter a finger on Harry, though, he doesn't really find his hole, so he stops kissing him, thinking that he gets too distracted with Harry's lips on his, but then his dick twitches once again, understanding that there's already something inside Harry.
Louis looks at him with a mix of lust and amusement, and Harry's carefully looking at him to catch every detail of his reaction.
"Is this why you were acting so nervous, babe?" Louis asks, and Harry squeezes Louis' dick in his hand, making him hold his breath.
"Uhm...yes, daddy. Didn't know if I should have done it or not."
Louis tries not to curse at Harry's words.
"You're amazing. This is also why you locked yourself in your room?"
Harry nods, swinging his hips to the side a little bit.
Louis squeezes his buttcheeks and kisses Harry's chin, making him close his eyes and hum slightly.
"Thought I did something wrong." Louis confesses, feeling better now -not only because Harry Styles is sitting on his lap wearing invisible clothes.
"You didn't. Could you please fuck me now, daddy?" Harry asks, opening his eyes to look right into Louis' ones, and Louis tries very hard not to come at Harry's words.
"Such a good boy. Of course. But now I want you to stand up. Can you do that for me?"
Harry stands up as quickly as he can even if he has a plug sticked inside him, and looks at Louis espectantly.
He knows that if they're talking like that they're going to fuck hard.
And Harry can't wait.
Louis mimics Harry's moves and takes his hand in his.
They look at each other and for a second both of them almost forget they're naked.
"So, what do you want, sweetheart?"
Harry looks at Louis and he has just one thing in mind.
So he kneels down and looks at Louis while sucking his hard-on in his mouth.
Louis' hips instintively jerk forward, and Harry hums at that, closing his eyes when he starts moving his head up and down on Louis' cock, grabbing him by his hips.
"You're dangerous for my mental health." Louis says, and Harry opens his eyes and looks at him, sucking on his dick.
Louis moans and grabs Harry's hair as soon as he has a bit of control of his own body, and Harry moves his head faster.
"Babe, hold on -fuck- wait a second, yeah? Fuck's sake, you're amazing, but...shit, want you to feel good, first."
In an attempt to show Louis how fucking in love Harry is with him and with the things he said, Harry keeps hollowing his cheeks to suck on Louis' dick, humming.
Louis is in complete bliss.
"You sure this is okay for- shit, Har."
Harry moves forward and Louis cock' slides deeper into his mouth, making both of them moan.
"You love sucking me off, don't you?" Louis asks, but his voice is gentle, as much as it can be while someone's almost making you come with their mouth.
Harry hums again, this time grabbing one of Louis' buttcheek, squeezing it tight in his hand.
"Harry." Louis moans, and he doesn't know in which direction he should lean over.
Harry pulls away for a few seconds, taking a deep breath and looking at Louis.
"You sure you want me to stop?" Harry asks, and Louis knows he's doing it on purpouse, because Harry knows the effect he has on Louis, and he knows his voice kills Louis every time he hears it, especially if it's deeper than usual.
Harry knows Louis can't stop him from making him come, why would he want that?
Who would want that?
"Har, you're doing so good, I don't want you to stop, just wanted to make sure you were alright with that." Louis says, his voice slightly trembling.
Harry smiles and kisses the tip of Louis' cock, sucking it in his mouth the following second.
Don't ask Louis why he's just gasped. Of course he did, he wasn't expecting it.
"Just like that, Har. Oh- fuck."
Another thing Louis doesn't expect is to come that fast on Harry's lips, just because Harry is cat-licking his slit.
"Fucking amazing." Louis moans, squeezing his eyes shut and gripping at Harry's hair maybe a little too harshly.
But Harry's not going to complain.
He just looks at Louis and licks his come off of him, enjoying the way Louis' thighs are slightly trembling and how good Louis' fingers feel enterwined in his hair.
Louis lets out a breath and opens his eyes, looking at Harry, who looks more wrecked than before.
"Baby." Louis whispers, kneeling down as well so that he's looking at Harry directly in his eyes.
"You're so, so good, baby." Louis whispers, tracing with his thumb Harry's jawline and nose, where there's a bit of his come.
Louis cleans Harry's face with his fingers while Harry stays still, humming slightly.
"Lou...need you..." Harry whispers, looking at Louis pleadingly.
Louis gently pecks his lips, "Open that pretty mouth of yours, sweetheart."
Louis puts his thumb on Harry's lips, which part as soon as they feel a little friction.
Harry circles his lips around Louis' thumb and sucks on it slightly, doing the same thing with the other fingers.
"Do you like it? How it tastes?"
Harry nods, "Tastes so good."
Louis smiles and stands up, "Come here, Har. Want to make you feel good."
Harry slowly stands up, almost coming for the overstimulation of the plug he still has inside him, and looks at Louis.
"Now what?" Harry asks awkwardly, and Louis licks his lips, thinking about where he'd like to completely wreck Harry.
He can feel himself hardening again as soon as an idea pops into his mind.
A very nice idea.
Louis takes Harry's hand in his and heads to the bathroom, ignoring Harry's questions but loving the little hums Harry lets out while walking.
When they enter the bathroom, Louis closes the door and looks at Harry, who rests his weight on the piece of forniture in front of the mirror.
"Lou...I'm...really, I'm trying, but...it's too much, please, Lou...need you."
Louis smirks and gets closer to Harry, circling his waist with his hands and kissing his shoulder.
He looks at himself in the mirror and starts kissing the back of Harry's neck, now looking at the way Harry's lips slightly part.
"I know, Har, you've been so good for me, didn't even touch yourself, did you?"
Harry looks at Louis in the mirror and shakes his head.
"Please." Harry whispers, lowering his body a little and slowly grinding back on Louis.
"Lou..." Harry's voice cracks feeling Louis' starting to get hard again, and it's all because of him.
"I can't, Lou." Harry at this point doesn't even know what he's saying, but it's okay.
"Shh, baby. Daddy's gonna fuck you now, yeah? Gonna fuck that pretty pink hole of yours, make you feel good." Louis whispers on Harry's skin, kissing the back of his shoulder and tracing Harry's spine with his fingers.
Harry shamelessly moans at Louis' words, loving every single one of them, and arches his back as soon as he feels Louis' hand cup his buttcheeks and spreading them wide.
He whinces slightly but tries to stay silent. His hands are gripping the surface in front of him so much that his knuckles are white.
"So good for me." Louis whispers, and then he slowly starts taking the plug out of Harry.
This time Harry can't stay silent, this time a broken moan slips away his lips, and he looks at himself in the mirror and then at Louis, who's staring at him, kissing his shoulder.
This moment feels so intimate to Harry, he's never done something like that before, never called someone the way he does with Louis, he never let someone take a plug out of him and Harry doesn't know why he's thinking he loves Louis and he's the one he wants to spend his life with, not only because he's painfully slowly removing a plug out of his butt.
"Look at you. Look at how worked up you already are. Maybe it's because you sucked my cock so well..." Louis says, and definitely removes the plug all of a sudden.
Harry gasps and moans at the same time, arching his back.
He takes a deep breath, feeling sorer than hee expected.
"Or maybe it's because you wanted to surprise me with this pretty thing in you. Really apprecciated it, thank you." Louis says, brushing the plug over Harry's balls.
Louis presses the plug on Harry more firmly, making Harry moan.
"Love making you feel good. Look at how good you look, honey. Look at the work of art you are." Louis whispers on Harry's skin, sending him a last glance before kissing down Harry's spine, kneeling himself on the ground.
Harry doesn't have the time to picture in his mind what's going to happen next because Louis is already licking in between Harry's buttcheeks.
"Oh- fuck- Louis, shit."
Louis chuckles hearing Harry's words and grabs Harry's cock in his hand.
He starts fucking Harry with his tongue, at least that's what he wants to do, but Harry doesn't really give him the time, since he comes right when Louis traces Harry's cockhead with his thumb.
"Shit, thank you." Harry says after a few seconds, and Louis kisses his buttcheeks a couple of times.
This is what makes Harry trust Louis.
Because of those kisses.
A few years ago, Louis would have never kissed him after eating him out or sucking him off, or after they'd fucked.
But now here he is, kissing his butt even if he's just finished licking it.
And as much as it seems stupid, the way Louis' kissing him is making him feel like he can really trust Louis, and so Louis now can really thrust in him.
"Sorry, but I love keeping you on edge. Just because I know you do. At least, that's what I understood." Louis says, leaving one last kiss on Harry's clenching hole, before lifting himself up.
Harry nods, because Louis' right, but doesn't want to admit it.
He looks at himself in the mirror and then at Louis, loving the way he's looking at him.
Louis' cute and hot at the same time, and he's looking at Harry as if he's going to destroy him.
Which he probably will.
Harry swings his hips a little and steps behind, pushing his butt right on Louis' hard-on.
"Baby." Louis whispers, taking Harry's hips in his hands, "What are you-"
Louis stops talking as soon as Harry bends down in front of him, his hips still pressing against Louis', his arms gripping the forniture in front of the mirror.
"Fuck me. Now." Harry says, adding a 'please' after a couple of seconds of silence.
Louis tries to control himself and caresses Harry's back.
"You sure? Are you okay with this?"
Harry nods, "Please. Miss you inside me, Lou."
Louis almost melts at how sweet and fucking sexy Harry sounds.
"Tell me if you're sure about this. Use your words."
Harry stands up and looks at Louis, his expression now angry all of a sudden and Louis' heartbeat speeds up, fearing he said something that pissed Harry off.
"What Louis? Now what? I...I did everything I could! I fucking put that thing in my arse, I sucked you off, I tried not to fucking moan too much, I tried not to look too worked up and to control myself and I really...I bent down in front of you, I'm fucking here, nacked, in front of you and you still don't want me? Why? Is there something wrong with me? Does everyone else have something I don't? Am...am I a piece of garbage, I don't know, it's like you don't want to fuck me, it's like...you don't want me..."
Harry quiets down towards the end of his sentence, but he's still looking at Louis.
Louis, who's as startled as a fangirl or fanboy would be if their parents told them they'd seen their celebrity crush at the supermarket but didn't even ackowledged them because they were in a rush.
Louis takes a deep breath and tries to make his hearbeat calm down a little bit.
"Harry, of course I want you. Honestly, I'd fuck you every single hour of my life, and I'm not kidding, but...remember about taking it slow? I don't want to rush things as I did last time, I want to take our time and do other things, not just have a sexual life."
"I don't care! I did everything I could and you're still talking! I did everything! Why can't you just fuck me? If you don't like my body you can just say it, you know, here, in front of my face. Just be honest and tell me already." Harry says, crossing his arms over his chest, looking like a disapponted naked puppy.
Louis clenches his jaw and takes another deep breath.
"Don't say it again. Don't say those things about yourself. You're amazing You really are, Har. I just wanted to make sure you really wanted me to fuck you. I'd never make sure you were okay with that when we were younger, you know, and now I want things to change between you and me. Want to show you I mean it when I say you can trust me."
Harry doesn't know what to say, because once again he's too overwhelmed to process all of this correctly.
He just knows he loves Louis with everything he's got and, once again, he over reacted.
So he stays silent and looks down.
"Harry. I really like you, okay? I want to do this right. Want you to understand you're not just a thing to fuck every time I'm horny. You're my baby. I care about you. Want you to understand it." Louis says soothingly, caressing Harry's shoulders.
Harry's body relaxes after Louis' words, his muscles are not as tensed as before because of the gentle touch, too, and Harry feels calmer, now looking at Louis again.
"I mean it, Har."
Louis didn't say he loves Harry, but at least he really likes him, right?
Harry nods, "If you say so...show me that...uhm...that you want me. I feel like what you told me is just an excuse. It's okay, just tell me. You can just leave and everything will-"
Louis cuts Harry off by kissing his lips and slipping his tongue in his mouth, removing every single doubt and insecurity Harry told Louis.
Harry gasps in surprise, but then he cups Louis' cheeks with his hands and kisses him back.
Louis pulls away and spins Harry around, so that now he's facing Harry's back.
"Go ahead, baby, let me show you how bad I want you." Louis whispers on Harry's neck, and Harry bends down once again, arching his back and looking at Louis' reaction on the mirror, which is worth all the efforts he's been doing till now.
Louis positions his cock in between Harry's buttcheeks and then starts grinding, earning a moan from both of them.
Harry tries not to close his eyes and keeps looking at Louis' hungry eyes staring back at him.
"Was just looking out for you, sweetheart. Didn't mean to make you feel like that. Care so much 'bout you." Louis says, and Harry once again doesn't have the time to think because Louis enters him with a quick thrust, making Harry close his eyes and let out a broken breath.
Louis caresses Harry's back and pulls out a little bit.
As soon as Harry takes a deep breath, Louis thrusts in Harry, loving the fact he can clearly see Harry's reaction thanks to the huge mirror in front of them.
"Shit...missed you so much..." Harry whispers, opening his eyes to look at Louis.
"Me too, sweetheart." Louis says, thrusting in Harry again, this time going deeper, making Harry hum.
Harry closes his eyes for a moment and opens them back, looking at Louis.
"Look at how good you are. Look at yourself, how wonderful you are, Harry."
Louis backs down and thrusts another time in Harry, making him grip the counter more firmly.
Harry looks at himself in the mirror and reckons this is the best sex he's ever had.
And this is just the beginning.
"You look at me, I look at you." Harry says, and he notices Louis truly smiles at him.
Louis caresses Harry's lower back and then firmly grips on it, thrusting in.
They both let out a moan, loving the fact it's not just one of them who's moaning.
Louis takes a deep breath and tries not to fuck the shit out of Harry already, waiting for him to adjust.
Even if he had a plug inside him for at least twenty minutes.
"Did you know that," Louis takes a deep breath and slowly leans back over Harry, his hips completely pressing on Harry's butt, "I'm going to make you scream so bad, Harry," Louis makes sure to directly look into Harry's eyes, which are staring back at him, "so fucking much, that tomorrow you'll be lucky if you have your voice back?"
As soon as Louis clarifies this he grabs Harry by his hair, making his back arch more, and starts fucking quickly in him as soon as Harry lets out a little moan, which becomes a broken one.
"Fuck, Louis." Harry pants, squeezing his eyes shut and completely letting go of everything.
Louis moans and grips Harry's hair tighter.
"So. Fucking. Perfect." Louis says in between a thrust and another, making Harry moan louder.
"Louis- ah, shit."
Louis smirks and looks at Harry in the mirror, slowing down and gently letting go of his hair.
"Look at yourself and how fuckable you are right now, with my cock inside you..." Louis says quietly, caressing Harry's head and fucking in him slowly.
Harry looks at Louis at lets out a little moan, "Yeah..."
"Look at how I fuck in you, Har. Do you like it? Feeling my cock so, so deep inside you? Touching you with my cock in the most intimate parts of your body I can reach?" Louis asks, still moving inside Harry way too slow for how dirty and messy they both want it to be.
Harry nods and takes a deep breath, "Gonna come if you keep saying this..."
Louis smirks and spreads Harry's buttcheeks with his hands, "Gonna make you come anyways."
Louis says, before starting to fuck in Harry as hard as he can, until the only sounds in the house are their heavy breaths mixed with moans and the sound of their skins slapping.
"Yeah, Lou- oh."
Louis looks at Harry and fucks him even faster, hitting his prostate as soon as he changes angle.
Harry squeezes his eyes shut and cries out Louis' name, feeling his orgasm already coming.
Even the orgasm is coming, unbelievable.
He wants to look at Louis in the mirror, but Louis' going so fast that the only thing Harry can do is to rest his head on the counter, moving his hips backwards to meet Louis' movements.
"Lou, right...right there, Lou...shit."
Louis spreads his buttcheeks even wider, and with another hard thrust Harry's crying out Louis' name once again, this time louder than before.
In the exact second Harry's coming, Louis grabs him by his hair and pulls his head backwards, loving the moans that are escaping from his lips.
"Look at you." Louis manages to say, and when Harry gathers enough strength to open his eyes, still trembling, he looks at himself in the mirror, and Louis comes inside him with a final thrust.
The last thing he sees before his sight blanks out is Harry's adorable face and the way his green eyes were barely open, staring back at him.
Chapter 8: April 5th, 2017
Harry smiles as soon as Anne, his mother, opens the door of his house and smiles, welcoming him in.
"Harry!" Anne exclaims, more than happy to see his son again.
She hugs Harry right when he steps into the house.
"Hi, mum." Harry says, hugging her mother and sighing contently.
Anne kisses his cheek and pulls away after a few seconds, looking at him, "So, how are you?"
Harry kisses her cheeks and smiles, "I'm fine, mum. Thanks. What about you?"
Anne playfully rolls his eyes to the ceiling.
"We're talking as if we're two strangers. C'mon, of course I'm fine, you're here!"
Harry smiles fondly at her, and he nods.
"You're right. Let's talk about boys and girls and nail polish." Harry says, making Anne laugh.
"My perfect son." she says, and this time Harry rolls his eyes to the ceiling.
"You say that to Gem, too."
Anne shakes her head while heading to the kitchen.
"She's my perfect daughter. Harry, we'd already talked about the differences between females and males. Females have-"
Harry groans but hides a little smile, because he knows his mother is just kidding.
"Mum, please. I know it all. Thank you very much."
Anne smiles and starts making some tea. Harry helps her by taking and providing her everything she needs.
"You know it all, eh? Because you're a grown man now, right?." Anne snorts and Harry looks at her in fake disbelief.
Anne looks at him, smiling, "What, my dear?"
"How can you even say something like that about me? Repeating my own words as if they're not unique. What a shame, mother." Harry says, still pretending, and Anne chuckles, looking back at the tea bags she's going to use.
"Harold, my dear, I'm not even sorry for what I said. It shouldn't bother you, should it? You know it all." Anne says, smirking, and Harry chuckles.
"Okay, I didn't mean to use that tone. And now it's too late. You're going to use that against me for the rest of my life."
Anne, still smiling, nods proudly.
"You really know it all, Harry."
And Harry slaps his own forehead.
"How lovely you are today with your perfect son."
Anne looks at him with raised eyebrows, "This is what your endless knowledge deserves, young man."
Harry chuckles and kisses her mother's cheek.
"Missed you, mum."
Anne smiles and looks at him, with her eyes so full of love and excitement because she's finally spending some time with his son, "Me too, Harry."
Honestly, Harry doesn't know how Anne introduced the 'Louis topic' in her conversation with Harry, it just happened and before Harry could stop it, it was already too late.
Which shouldn't be a problem if he had a normal relationship, but since this is not the case every time Anne and Harry talk about Louis it never ends up well.
This is why Harry absolutely can't wait to hear what his mother has to say next.
It must be as amazing as everything else she'd said about Louis in the past.
"Don't look at me that way, Harry. I just asked you how it is going with Louis."
Yeah, sure. She's just asking how they're doing.
"Everything's okay, thanks."
Since Harry and Anne are sitting on the couch watching a show Anne really likes, Harry doesn't know how to escape from this situation.
If he stands up, his mother is not going to give up that fast.
So he just stares at the tv.
"And? How does he act towards you?"
Harry takes a deep breath.
"He's nice. Nothing new."
Anne raises an eyebrow and looks at Harry, who doesn't dare to move.
"Seriously, Harry, how is your relationship going? I want to know if you're feeling better than last-"
"Mum," Harry suddendly cuts Anne off, "I'm okay, thank you. You don't have to worry."
Harry clenches his jaw, which doesn't pass unnoticed by Anne.
"Don't talk to me like that, please. You know I don't like it. I want this to be a friendly talk, I just want to know what's really going on in your life." Anne says, making Harry unclench his jaw.
"Sorry. I don't like thinking about it, that's all."
Anne frowns, "You don't like talking or thinking about the person you say you love?"
Harry looks at his mother, trying to stay calm.
"Mum, you know why. It's not easy, and I don't like it when you ask me if it's getting better."
Anne's face softens and she puts her hand on Harry's shoulder, "This is what worries me. Are you sure you're doing the right thing, Harry?"
Harry looks down at his hands, "Please, don't."
"No, I'm sorry, honey, but this is important. You shouldn't feel so sad when you think about someone who's supposed to be so nice for you. Louis really should be nice, for you. If he isn't, then you don't need him in your life."
Harry stiffens at Anne's words, "He makes me happy. When I'm with him I'm truly happy. I can't stay away from him. Literally." Harry confesses, feeling his cheeks turning red.
"Okay, I'm going to drop this for now," Anne says, and Harry sighs in relief, "because I want to ask you something else."
Harry's posture stiffens again.
"I just want to know how many times you see Louis in...let's just say a week, more or less." Anne says, still looking at Harry, who doesn't reply at first.
"Harry, look at me, I'm talking to you."
Harry looks at his mother and tries not to think about Martin and everything he'd told him the last time they saw each other.
"I think...that...yeah...maybe...once a day?"
Anne takes a deep breath.
"So you're always with him?"
Harry shakes his head, "Now I'm with you."
"But you always spend your free time there."
"Basically, yes...uhm...but I think there's really nothing wrong with it."
Anne looks disapprovingly at him.
"You actually spend your whole free time with him? Every day?"
Harry nods reluctantly, not understanding why his mother is asking him so.
After a few seconds of silence, Anne speaks again.
"I think you're taking this relationship with him too seriously. You shouldn't be so...addicted on him."
"No, Harry. Don't cut me off again. If you say you actually can't stay away from him and that you do spend your free time with him, then there's something wrong. You shouldn't let him manipulate you, especially not at this point. Not again, Harry." Anne says, turning the tv off.
She was looking her favourite show and she just...
This is serious.
Harry is trying to stay calm, it's the best thing he can do right now.
"He is not manipulating me. I decide what to do, when and why. I can't stay away from him, but it's not that he can do something about it. It's just the way I, myself, feel." Harry says.
"We talked about this countless times, I don't need to repeat everything. But what worries me is that no matter how many things I told you, or what I told you, it still happened. What I wanted not to happen, happened anyways. So either you don't listen to me or it was just bad luck."
Harry is already tired of this topic.
"Can we stop talking about this, please? Trust me, this time I know what I'm doing. I'm sure. We're going very slowly, he's the one who came up with this, he's the first who wants to take it slow without rushing things. He's different than before. I told you." Harry says, looking at his mother.
"So this is why you tried to cover those love bites all over your neck?" Anne asks, making Harry blush.
He subconsciously covers his neck with his hand and looks away.
He thought they weren't that visible.
Anne is still looking at him in silence, so that Harry can completely think about her words and understand them.
"I think you're doing a mistake. You two already live in the same building. Don't let this affect your feeligs more than it should. Maybe you don't realise how exciting it makes you feel, but you should really try to actually take it slow. I don't want you to suffer."
Harry removes his hand off his neck and takes a deep breath, "I'm not doing a mistake. I love him, mum. What's wrong with that? I just...I just want to spend some time with him, because I can't see him during the day, so I want to spend some time with him during the evening. And I know what I'm doing, I'm not a child." Harry says, crossing his arms over his chest, looking painfully childish to Anne.
"You always says so, but you act differently. And you let the others do whatever they want with you."
Harry's cheeks heat up, this time because he is actually getting angry.
"Stop it. I don't let other people use me. It was just a- with Louis was just...the beginning. Now it's different. Stop saying these things."
"It was just the beginning? Harry, can you explain me why things with those other two boys who came after Louis ended up bad?" Anne asks, her voice still as gentle as possible.
She's just really worried for her Harry, she just wants him to be safe and truly can't stand Louis because of all the pain he brought in Harry's life.
And while Louis was away and became just a sad memory, Anne was at home with Harry crying.
She knows how much Harry suffered, and she doesn't want him to suffer again.
"They...they didn't end up bad. Everything is...everything...is okay now." Harry says, but can't help thinking about Martin and how the situation got pretty bad.
"Harry, it's your life, you can shape it as you want. I'm just trying to look out for you, telling you what I think about all of this, so that you know what you're doing."
Harry looks at the wall in front of him, asking himself if there is something seriously wrong with him.
"I'm just saying I think you should pay more attention. I'm not saying you have to break up with Louis, just that you shouldn't trust him that much. I know it's been a few months now and you feel like you know him, but, Harry...you get to know people in years. You think you know someone, but twenty years later they turn out to be different. A few months are nothing."
Harry quickly thinks about his mother's words and sighs.
"I'm very careful with him. I'll always be. Promise." Harry says, looking at his mother.
"I'm glad you are. You're not stupid Harry, just a bit blind sometimes. And people take advantage of that."
After Harry had dinner with his mother and thought about everything she said, Harry is now in his room, trying to find something to do to stop thinking about Louis and the fact his mother is actually right for everything she said and Harry's realising just now how important the conversation he had with her is important.
Ignoring Louis' texts, Harry wonders wheather he should actually take a break from Louis or leave things just like they are right now.
After twenty minutes, Harry's laying on his bed, thinking that telling Louis to go on a break would do no good for the two of them, so it's probably for the best to not say anything.
Harry quickly stands up, his head spinning slightly for a second, and glances at his books.
He should have studied today, but his mother was more important than University, so he takes a deep breath and runs his hand over his hair in a quick motion.
He's going to have exams soon and doesn't even know on what topic, because he completely let go of his study sessions.
Moreover, he still has to work, of course, and his mother asks him if he's sure about the relationship he has with Louis.
Which is what he thought was the most beautiful thing in his life.
Now he's not as sure as he was before seeing his mother, who simply told him things by another point of view, the realistic one, which in these cases is crucial.
What is Harry supposed to do now?
And, as if it's not enough -because it's never enough- Harry takes his mobile phone again and admits to himself that Louis' texts are the most precious things that could happen to him right now.
This is why he's reading them over and over again.
louis_tomlinson: good morning baby :) x
louis_tomlinson: i know they creep you out :) :) :) :) :) :)
And since Louis is always caring towards Harry, after they texted for a little while he kept sending Harry texts during the day, so that after finishing work Harry could smile like an idiot seeing them.
louis_tomlinson: okay, so. Im in the toilet right now and Id ask you to join me, but seriously, i don't think youd like the smell
louis_tomlinson: but dont worry, i promise i'll take a shower right after i finish here :)
louis_tomlinsom: i knew you'd have broken up with me because of those texts uhggg what am i gonna do nowww
louis_tomlinson: pleeease come back heree with mee Haaar come hereee with meee
louis_tomlinson: now my butt is completely clean i swear
Harry can't stop smiling at Louis' texts.
For a few seconds Louis managed to make Harry forget about everything that was going on in his mind, but now that there are no more texts, Harry's back at overthinking.
He wants to see Louis so bad, but why does he feel like he can't go a day without seeing him?
This is wrong, Harry thinks, but doesn't care that much as soon as he's dialing Louis' number and his hands are trembling slightly.
He's just calling Louis, why is he so nervous?
"Harry. I know I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry. I wanted to be honest with you. I'm sorry." Louis jokes, but his voice is so serious that if Harry didn't know Louis, he'd probably think it's not a joke.
"It's okay, Lou. Don't worry, everything's okay now, yeah?" Harry tries to say something funny, but all the emotions he gathered during the day are now betraying him, and his voice cracks a little at the end, because he truly hopes everything is going to be alright.
He hopes Louis is oblivious of his trembling voice.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea to call him.
"Thank you so much, Harry. So much." Louis says after a couple of seconds, and kisses his mobile phone' mic, making Harry smile.
"Hope I didn't wake you up." Harry says, trying to talk about something interesting.
He's not used to talk to Louis on the phone and it's awkward.
"Har, it's not even midnight, you didn't wake me up. How are you, by the way? You sound tired."
"Eh, yeah, this is why I...uhm...called you...just wanted to say hi and good night." Harry says, sighing.
Louis stays silent for a moment, "You know I'm always here for you, right? Always always here."
Harry smiles, because Louis already knows Harry's not feeling okay, and he loves him so much for this.
"Thanks. Just want to sleep, though. What about you?"
"I'm okay and super clean." Louis says, making Harry smile again.
He wishes he could see Louis right now, but he doesn't want to cry again.
He just has to sleep.
"Glad. If it's okay, I...uhm...you know..."
"Go to sleep, baby. We'll talk about how my arse is clean tomorrow, if you wish."
Harry smiles, "Night, Lou."
Louis smiles sadly, "You can come here if you can't sleep, yeah? Good night, baby."
Harry tries not to tell Louis that he loves him and just replies with a 'thank you'.
He ends the call before Louis can say anything about his voice and throws his phone on the pile of clothes on his second wardrobe, the so called chair, and takes his clothes off.
He lays down on the bed, under the sheets, and pretends that Louis is beside him, holding him and telling him everything's okay.
But it is not okay.
Chapter 9: April 6th, 2017
thanks for reading and leaving kudos
Harry takes a deep breath and checks the time on his mobile phone.
It's still early in the morning, but the grocery store should be open by now.
He doesn't have work today, so he has to find an excuse to ignore his books and go somewhere instead of studying.
And if the grocery store is closed, well.
He'll go somewhere else, as long as he gets to stop thinking about Louis and those fucking books on his dusted-covered shelves.
He exits his flat and closes the door, looking at Louis' door, as if inside of it there's a sleeping daunting moster he doesn't want to wake up.
He takes a deep breath and quickly heads to the stairs, but then he remembers he forgot about his wallet, and, how could he even forget about it?
Harry enters the flat and exits again, this time holding his wallet in his hand, with the same rapidity he used a few seconds before.
After the door is closed and he should have everything he needs -two things, really- he heads to the elevator this time, pushing all the buttoms he can find on the surface of the elevator's pad.
He's not nervous, he's not anxious and his heart is not beating faster than usual just because from now on he could meet Louis every fucking second and he's not ready to face him.
He's completely okay.
Harry is completely at ease.
The elevator arrives an opens, and Harry asks himself why he didn't take the stairs, as he intended to do at the very beginning.
Louis stares back into Harry's eyes, his expression slightly happy, that changes into a concerned one as soon as he sees the troubled look on Harry's face.
"What- w-what are you doing here?" Harry asks, and Louis is 100% sure he's never heard Harry Styles talking that fast.
He steps out of the elevator, still looking at Harry.
"My classes are not at school today. They're doing a project. In order to do it, they're all going somewhere near the school. Long story you don't want to hear. Hi, by the way." Louis says, his voice sounding calm and pure.
Harry feels less nervous than before.
"Oh...oh, okay. Nice. Hi."
The two of them stare at each other for a few seconds, until Harry clears his throat.
"I gotta...gotta get..." Harry's words vanish in the air.
"What?" Louis asks confused, getting closer to Harry so that he can kiss him on the cheek.
Harry steps back and runs a hand through his hair.
"Gotta go to work. I have to get there. Sorry. See you later." before Harry can step into the elevator, though, he stops in his moves at Louis' words.
"Okay, but don't you need to get dressed properly? Don't want you to get fired, you know."
Harry mutters a 'shit' under his breath while looking at his clothes, and then turns around to look at Louis.
"Today is different. Uhm...long story. Yeah. Bye."
"Harry, wait!" Louis exclaims right when Harry is trying to head for the stairs.
He didn't want to get on the elevator anymore, he realised Louis was too near it.
Harry can't get near Louis, or else he's going to give in and kiss him forever, which is not possible.
Harry looks at Louis with his heart racing fast, "What?"
Louis stays silent for a few seconds, analising Harry's face.
"How are you?"
Harry can feel the tears gathering up at his eyes, just because Louis asked him this simple question, and can't find a reason why he's reacting so emotionally.
He looks down and when he's sure the tears are not that noticeable, he looks at Louis, whose expression becomes even more concerned.
"Everything's fine...uhm...sorry, I...I think I forgot something...see you-"
"You can tell me anything you want. I'm here, Harry." Louis says, stepping closer to him.
Harry clears his throat and shakes his head, "I'm...I'm okay, yeah? I told you yesterday, it's just that...I'm still tired."
Louis stares at him for a few seconds and nods, "If you're sure you don't want to tell me, then I suppose it's okay." Louis says, ignoring the painful feeling in his guts created by Harry's watery eyes and the fact he's clearly feeling not okay.
Harry nods, trying to smile, and quickly enters his flat because 'he forgot something'.
"I'm sorry, see you later." he says when he can't see Louis anymore, and when he shuts the door he lowers himself to the ground and lets all the tears fall.
He doesn't really know why he's crying, but he doesn't like all the stress that sorrounds him.
He just wants to hug Louis, right now, but it's too late, and he doesn't understand why he shut the door in front of him.
As if this isn't worrying Harry enough, Louis now he's probably mad at him, and he won't talk to him for weeks because Harry acted like a heartless asshole.
Louis, on the other hand, looks in the direction Harry disappeared and gets closer to his door.
When he hears Harry crying, he gently brushes his fingers over the door, as if he was doing it on Harry's face, and stays there for a while, trying to be as close as Harry lets him.
Louis doesn't know why Harry's so strange lately, but his stomach and whole body in general are curling up on themselves because his baby is crying, and Louis' existence is probably the reason why.
Louis doesn't know what to do.
He doesn't know what to do in order to make Harry feel better, because Harry keeps pushing him away.
So he enters his flat and sighs, and after a while, when he's looking at some assigments, he doesn't know that Harry opens his door and looks for Louis, wishing he was there with him.
When he calms down slightly and he doesn't have tears blurring his sight any more, Harry takes his mobile phone hoping to find a text from someone who could make him feel better, but he just finds a text from Martin he'd rather not read again.
He ignores Martin's question - 'I mean, is his dick really longer than mine?' - and goes to his kitchen.
He drinks some water and takes a deep breath.
Martin is one of the causes for all the stress he has in his body and mind, and the fact he just sent him another text doesn't have a positive effect on Harry's mood.
He opens the chat with Martin, makes sure he knows he read the text, then deletes the chat and smashes his mobile phone on the table.
The following second he hears the sound of a new text, and he almost screams, because he's just deleted the chat and Martin is already sending other texts?
For fuck's sake.
He takes another deep breath and checks the texts just to let Martin know he's going to ingnore him for the rest of his life.
But he misses a heartbeat or two when he reads the text.
louis_tomlinson: you dont deserve it
Whatever Louis was referring to, Harry suddendly feels better, and he wants Louis to hold him close to his body.
Before he can write a reply, though, Louis sends him another text.
louis_tomlinson: im always here for you no matter what har
louis_tomlinson: i need you to know that
Harry stares at the screen of his mobile phone, reading the texts over and over again.
He wants to cuddle with Louis and just lay lazily on his couch, but he doesn't reply to his texts.
He needs to think about it, and if Louis is with him, Harry won't be able to think correctly.
Later that day, Louis knocks at Harry's door, making the boy's heart jump two or three times.
Harry knows it's Louis, who else would it be, and he forces himself not to run to the door or else he'll fall down on the ground by tripping on his own feet.
When he opens the door and looks at Louis he's more excited than how he's supposed to be, and the only thought in his mind are Louis' arms around him.
"Hi. Can I come in?" Louis asks, looking at Harry in that way that makes his heart melt.
Harry just nods, feeling already too overwhelmed in Louis' presence, and shuts the door when his mind reminds him that Louis is looking at him and he should stop staring at the wall because the door is still open.
'Right. Okay.' Harry says to himself, before taking a deep breath and look at Louis.
The way Louis pronounces his name makes Harry's skin cover up by goosebumps.
"I need to talk about something. Want you to tell me the truth, yeah? Because...I know there's something wrong and I can't stop thinking about the possibility it could be my fault. Did I do something you didn't like?" Louis asks, his face now completely blurried by his concern.
Harry stares for a couple of moments at Louis, looking at his face.
His frowned expression and sad eyes are a contraddiction in comparision of the usual sarcastic, happy and lovely Louis Harry is so used to.
Moreover, he can see the differences in Louis' face, comparing it to when they were younger, and he feels better because- because Louis now actually cares about him.
Harry wants to kiss him and love him in every single way, and if there aren't enough, he'll create a way to do that, just for the two of them.
"Don't think about it, okay?" Harry quietly says, getting closer to Louis.
"So it's my fault. For fuck's sake. I thought I was doing everything right. I thought- I was completely sure, I-"
"I thought I could finally be someone you could be happy with...I want to make you happy Harry, why is it so difficult?"
Harry looks helplessly at him.
He's feeling disorientated because of the tenderness of Louis' words.
Louis, his boyfriend.
His boyfriend is telling him all those nice things.
"Lou, you do make me happy, but-"
"It's because of the other night, isn't it? I went too far. Shit. Fuck. I screwed everything up." Louis says, pressing his palms on his face, and Harry doesn't laugh at him and the bullshit he's saying just because he's emotionally weak right now.
"And the point is, I thought you liked it."
Harry chuckles now.
Louis' startled face makes it easier for Harry to smile.
"Are you serious right now? You think I didn't like it? I mean, couldn't you see it felt fucking amazing?"
Louis frows in confusion.
"You liked it?"
Harry gently takes Louis' shoulders in his hands.
"Louis, it was the best sex of my entire life, do you realise that?" Harry asks.
Just thinking about it is making him feel better.
There's something magic about that day that makes Harry feels way too excited. Louis can say the same thing about his own reaction.
There's something that drastically changes right when they start talking about sex, and both of them start picturing in their minds the memory.
Louis looks less startled than before, but still startled.
"So I didn't go too far?" he hopefully asks, making Harry's heart and his whole body feel warm.
"No, Lou. No."
Louis stares at Harry for a moment.
"You were fucking perfect. So beautiful. By the way, why are you feeling so-"
Harry doesn't know what's wrong with him but hearing Louis say those things about him makes him lower down and kiss Louis.
And they end up on the couch.
And Harry isn't even thinking about all the things and people that were causing him problems, because Louis is kissing away all of his fears and scars and now everything seems fixed.
Louis travels his hands on Harry's abdomen, loving how the muscles there contract and release at his touch, making Harry arch his back slightly.
Louis, still on top of Harry, claims him with every kiss and swirl of his tongue in the other's mouth.
Harry completely lets go of everything, the only control he has is over his lips and tongue, which are kissing Louis back.
"Want you to tell me what's wrong." Louis pants, looking at Harry.
Harry opens his eyes and tightens his grip on Louis' back, whining.
"Want you. You're the one who makes me feel better. You make me forget about who I am. Jus' wanna stay with you and stay with you."
Louis smiles and kisses Harry's jawline, so that now both of them are smiling.
"It's the same for me, love." Louis says softly, freezing in his moves when he realises what he just called Harry.
"What...did you just..."
Harry's heart is gone.
Louis starts kissing him again and nods with his nose brushing over Harry's skin.
Hopefully Harry won't notice how much he's blushing.
"Yeah, hope you don't mind." Louis says, as if it means nothing to him.
"Oh...oh, no, no, I...it's okay, yeah, uhm...I like it."
Louis looks at him, smiling, "Me too."
He kisses Harry's lips once again before Harry can say something about his cheeks and rests his forehead on Harry's shoulder.
"I thought you were mad at me." Louis whispers, and Harry sighs.
Louis sighs too when he feels Harry's hand caressing his hair, and he relaxes a little bit more.
"Lou...I could never be mad at you. I was just...I just needed to stay with you and stop thinking."
Harry slides his hands on Louis' back, making him hum in contentment -which makes Harry smile.
"You don't have to give me any explanation. I just hope I didn't do anything wrong." Louis says softly, and Harry slips his hand underneath Louis' hoodie to caress him directly on his skin.
He loves it when Louis wears his oversized hoodies without anything underneath.
"Uhm...it's just...you're one of the reasons why...I was...feeling a little lost? But...when I'm with you...like right now...I don't even think about it."
Louis opens his eyes and looks at Harry, lifting his head slightly.
"I just want you to be alright with what we're doing." Louis rests his head back on Harry's chest, wrapping his arms around Harry's body, "Want you to like what we do and I want you to enjoy yourself. Whatever it takes."
Harry tries to stay calm and not get excited at Louis' words -they're just words, after all- but lets himself smile.
"I'm trying..." Harry whispers after a few seconds, now that his smile faded in a serious expression.
He's back to reality.
"It's okay, baby." Louis says softly, his voice sounding sweet rather then sarcastic.
Harry's sweating too much, honestly.
He's glad he's not naked right now, because he doesn't want Louis to know the way he reacts to a few nice words he says to him.
"But I have this utopian vision of how our relationship could be like one day. I know it's wrong, because it should be as it is, but I have this desire to be as close with you as I can, and I want to-"
Louis stops talking as soon as he realises the things he's saying are actually dangerous, especially the things he was going to say.
Things that deal with being in a real relationship, sharing feelings and thoughts even during the hard times without fearing a judgemental reaction.
But Louis stops or else he'll creep Harry out.
Sometimes he can't take a hold of his feelings, which just slip out of his mouth as if they're not a big deal.
Harry stops caressing him, and Louis can feel the tension he's just created.
"I mean, I just want you to feel safe with me, if you know what I mean. I know it's a lot, but I feel like I can trust you with this Harry. You probably are going to laugh at me, because it should be the other way around, but you're not the only one who asks himself whether you can trust me or not."
After a few seconds of silence, Louis looks at Harry, who's staring at the ceilig.
Feeling Louis' eyes on his face, Harry looks down at him and smiles slightly, caressing his back again.
Louis takes it as a good sign, so he gets back to his previous position.
"What I want to say, is that I know it's not a long time since we've been together, but I feel like this time it's different. I feel like you're just so perfect, Harry, I didn't even know someone could be just like you are." Louis says quietly this time, and Harry's doing his best to keep his body still and his breath even.
His heart is not going to beat slower, so he has to stop thinking about it.
Louis, on the other hand, actually likes the way Harry's heartbeat accellerate everytime he says something else.
"I mean, don't you feel like this is not just a random, stupid, average, useless relationship? No? It's just me? Okay." Louis says, trying to make things sound less awkward.
He smiles when he hears Harry's chuckle.
"I don't know, Lou. I've always felt like this. I thought...I was the only one? Uhm...I can't believe you're actually saying...all of this. But...well, okay, thanks."
Louis kisses Harry's chest and sighs.
"I thought I would just keep on spending today in the worst condictions ever. And when I saw you I thought we would have ended up arguing or something. But sometimes you say something and you manage to...yeah, you know, to make me calm down."
Harry says, blushing, and hopes Louis won't look at him.
"I'm so glad, Har. What you're telling me makes me feel so happy. It means you don't hate me completely."
Louis says the last sentence with a hint of sarcasm, and Harry slaps his butt.
"Of course I don't."
"Hey! Put that dirty hand away my bum."
Again, the ability they have to change their moods is as unique as a black rose -if it's black, how can it be rose?
"My hand is not dirty. My mind, maybe yes. But just a little bit. Promise."
Louis smiles and looks at Harry.
Louis kisses Harry's chin and unwraps his harms from his body, positioning them on Harry's shoulders.
"You watch your mouth." Harry says, helping Louis getting more comfortable on his body.
"Shut up, now."
Louis bites Harry's lower lip and finally shuts him up.
Harry says something that manages to reach Louis' ears but not his mind.
"Shut up." Louis says on Harry's lips, kissing him deeply.
Harry hums something which as usual makes Louis' heartbeat speed up, and positions his hands on Louis' waist.
"You're so tiny, Lou." Harry says on Louis' lips after a while, pecking them.
Louis lets him peck his lips, smiling, "'m not."
Harry smiles, too, and pecks Louis' lips again.
"You are. You're so cute."
"You high or something?" Louis asks sarcastically.
"Nope. Just glad you're here."
Louis looks at Harry lovingly and thanks him by kissing his forehead.
"Are we becoming too sweet with each other?" Harry asks jokingly, and Louis rolls his eyes to the ceiling.
"If we are, then it's your fault."
Louis says, making his point by standing up on his feet.
"Says the one who kisses me on the forehead."
Louis raises an eyebrows and gets in one of his sassy positions, with a hip slightly raised to the side and a hand on it.
"As if you don't like it."
Harry stands up, too, and Louis immediately raises his chin, as if to try to look taller.
"You're fucking amazing." Harry says, smiling while cupping Louis' cheeks with his palms.
Harry kisses him before Louis can say something, and, well, Louis guesses he'll speak later, when they stop kissing.
Maybe in two or three hours, if he's lucky.
"Wanna do something funny?"
Harry frowns in confusion and looks at Louis.
"Uhm...what do you mean?"
"Harry! Something funny! Wanna have fun?" Louis stands up from the couch and looks at him.
Harry sits up and looks at him, "Calm down, you meanie. What d'you have in mind?"
Louis grabs him by his wrist and makes Harry stand up as well.
Harry grabs his keys from his coat right before Louis playfully shoves him out of his house.
"Thank you for using such nice manners with me." Harry says while Louis opens the door of his flat, smiling.
"You're welcome, love."
Harry doesn't even have the time to react to Louis' voice and the way he called him because he's shoved once again, this time in Louis' flat.
Harry takes a deep breath and looks at Louis as if he's mad at him, half seriously half jokingly.
Louis is seriously trying not to laugh.
"You put your hands in their place. Now."
Louis smiles and gets closer to him, looking at him with a hint of amusement.
"You mean in your hair? Or, I don't know, in your boxers?" Louis asks, his hand now enterwined in Harry's hair.
Harry closes his eyes an smiles, "Such a smart boyfriend, you are."
Louis kisses his jaw and smiles, "Thanks." he removes his hand off Harry's hair, "Now follow me."
Louis takes Harry's hand and leads him to his kitchen, while Harry mutters something.
"If by 'follow me' you mean 'I'm going to throw you in my bedroom and shove you on my bed', then...okay, I'm up to it."
Louis chuckles, "Later, baby."
Louis takes two empy bottles and fills them with water while Harry looks at him.
"Wow. You must be extremely thirsty."
Louis clamps his lips.
"Okay, so." he says after a few seconds, taking a bottle in his hand, "Remember my bedroom?"
Harry nods, making it hard for Louis to not smile at his baby
"Good. Now, I was actually thinking we could go there, you know, baby?" Louis says, kissing Harry's neck slowly.
"Mh...okay, why not..." Harry replies, making Louis smile this time.
"You can take the other bottle and we're going to bring them with us. I have a feeling we're going to sweat a little bit." Louis says, now kissing all the way up to Harry's jaw.
Harry blushes slightly, and Louis makes sure to kiss his cheeks.
"Now, hope you won't get mad at me, or else everything will be ruined."
Harry frowns in confusion, "Why would I even get mad at you?"
"Oh, I don't know." Louis says with a voice way too innocent.
Harry doesn't know what's going on, but he knows Louis has something in mind.
He knows he's right when Louis pours on Harry half of the water in the bottle, leaving him soaked.
Harry gasps but then bursts out in laughter when he sees Louis is trying not to laugh.
"You piece of shit!" Harry exclaims, still laughing, taking Louis' bottle from his hand and pouring on Louis all the water left.
"Fuck." Louis says, still laughing.
"Behave." Harry says, taking the other bottle.
"You behave!" Louis takes the bottle from Harry and in a second Harry's even wetter than before.
"Louis!" Harry exclaims, laughing, while Louis keeps pouring water on him.
"Give it to me!"
Louis laughs, "Whaat?"
Harry smiles and takes the bottle from Louis.
Now they're both soaked, all the water is poured on their bodies.
"Shit." Louis mutters at the coldness of the water.
They both laugh, looking at each other, not realising they haven't laughed so hard for too long.
"You idiot." Harry says, cupping Louis cheeks and kissing him.
Louis smiles and kisses him back.
He pulls away after a few seconds and smiles at Harry.
"Your eyes are shining." Harry says, and Louis thinks Harry's eyes are shining too, and they're illegally beautiful.
"You're all wet because of me." Louis replies, making both of them laugh.
"Can't stop getting wet." Harry says, his dimples popping out of his cheeks.
Louis looks at them for a moment and kiss them.
"Here, I have a present for you." Louis says, filling up the bottle with a good amout of water, looking at Harry.
"Baby, I'm already soaked for you. Don't need more." Harry says, and Louis ignores the way his stomach curls on itself hearing the way Harry just called him.
"Just want to check something." Louis says, getting closer to Harry.
"You think I'm not wet enough?"
"You're right, Har."
Louis unbuttons Harry's trousers and slides the zip down.
Harry pretends to moan, but he's clearly faking it.
"You're so bad at this." Louis says, smiling.
"What? Aren't we recording a porn? One of those really nice, set in a kitchen?"
Louis shakes his head, "Wrong wrong wrong."
Harry looks at Louis, trying to figure out what to do with him first.
The question is, should he kiss him or go for it and fuck him? Or maybe Louis could fuck Harry?
Why can't Harry marry Louis?
What is Louis doing with that bottle?
Why is Louis on his knees?
Too many questions.
Then it hits him, but it's too late because Louis is already pouring the water in Harry's boxers.
To say it's not as bad as he thought it would be would be an understatement.
This time he hums slightly, and Louis can hear the difference from the last moan and this one.
"Shit, Lou." Harry says, his voice cracking.
"You like it?"
"Uh...yeah, it's weird...don't know why but-"
Harry lets out a breath when Louis pours a little bit more water right on Harry's dick, taking it in his hand, and Harry rests his hand on the counter.
"You're so fucking good, I just- I don't know Lou, you always make my day."
Louis smiles at him and kisses the head of his cock slowly, earning a low moan from Harry.
After a few tries, he puts Harry's dick back in his boxers, but leaves the jeans unbottoned.
He stands up and pecks Harry's lips, hoping Harry won't feel too uncomfortable in his soaked boxer.
"Same goes to you, love."
Harry looks at him as if to trying to figure out whether Louis is real or not.
"It's not...Louis, it's not just because you were touching my cock, it's something else you know? I really care about you, Lou, I shouldn't say this, but it's the truth." Harry says, putting his hands on Louis' hips.
Louis' smile widens and he cups Harry's cheeks with his palms.
"Har, I'm so happy to have you. I'm so so happy. So glad you're here with me."
Louis wraps his arms around Harry's body, and they hug for a while.
Harry's whole body is curled on Louis, and he's hugging him tight on his body, just like Louis is doing.
There's something about the way they're holding each other that can only be labelled as love.
There's this connection they have which is able to overwhelm them and make them feel like they're floating, as if they're the two only human beings in the universe, and their minds are so overwhelmed by the love they feel for each other that they stop thinking.
Everything seems to stop but their heartbeats.
Louis pulls away slightly and Harry mimics his moves.
Louis looks into Harry's eyes.
'I love you'.
"You're too tall for me." Louis says, making both of them smile.
"And you're too short."
"It sounds like something negative"
"And you are, too."
"Don't you think this situation of being wet would have been cooler if you were a girl? After all, you're wet because of me."
Harry chuckles and pecks Louis' lips.
He's not going to get enough of them anytime soon.
"I like my dick, thank you very much."
"Oh, me too. But, can you pretend you're wet because of me?"
"Is it a kink of yours?"
"No, princess." Louis smirks.
"Okay, then, let's just say I always get hard because of you, daddy." Harry whispers in Louis' ear.
"Well. Now I'm feeling better. Wanna have some fun?"
"Follow me." Louis says, but he actually takes Harry's wrist and when they're arrived in Louis' bedroom, he shoves Harry on his bed.
"Here, baby. Just like you asked daddy."
Harry looks at him and opens his legs, "Look, I'm all wet because of you." he says, smiling, and Louis crawls on top of him.
He's going to fucking wreck him.
"Save your voice for later, love. I think you'll need it." Louis says on Harry's skin, kissing his neck.
"I'll need it? Why?" Harry innocently asks.
"To beg me for hitting your prostate over and over again."
Harry feels a tightening sensation in his lower belly, which he just loves.
"I don't think so, daddy."
Louis smirks and looks at him, "Well," he slides his hand in Harry's boxers, making him hum, "Let's find out, sweetheart."
Louis takes Harry's cock in his hand and slowly starts stroking it.
Harry parts his lips slightly and Louis already thinks he's too much.
"Looking at you makes me wanna come. And I'm not saying this to sound sexy. You're fucking illegal."
Harry smiles and looks at him, sliding his hands on Louis' butt.
He squeezes it hard, making Louis hum and move his hand faster.
"Shit." Harry whispers, and Louis leaves a trail of kisses on Harry's neck.
"You're so fucking beautiful. Daddy."
Louis bites the skin of Harry's neck hugrily and clenches his hand around Harry's cock, making him arch his back.
"Fuck. You're so perfect." Louis whispers, leaving a kiss on Harry's lips.
"I love it." Harry says, making Louis chuckle.
He actually chuckles, and he can't stop.
Harry looks at him, confused, but then starts laughing with him because it's funny.
"What you laughing at?"
"I'm laughing with you." Louis says, smiling, and Harry slaps his butt.
"What do you think you're doing, baby?" Louis says, but can't help chuckling again.
Harry smiles with his dimples popping out.
"Punishing you 'cause you're laughing at me. You're not a good daddy."
Louis snorts and bites Harry's lower lip, "And you? You think you're a good boy?"
Harry nods proudly, still smiling.
Louis loves him with his entire soul.
"Well. Have fun lying to yourself."
"You're lying on top of me, actually."
Louis chuckles again and sucks Harry's lower lip in his mouth.
He moves the hand that was resting around Harry's cock, making Harry grind in it. He hums slightly and looks at Louis.
"I'm not going to give you anything until you tell me why you were laughing." Harry says, pretending to be disappointed.
Louis smiles again and traces the tip of Harry's dick with his thumb.
"Well," he says, enjoying the sound that escapes Harry's lips, "You made me laugh when you said 'I love it'."
Louis chuckles again, and Harry's confused.
"I was referring to the fact we're both so... wet. You like getting wet because of me?" Harry asks jokingly, and Louis licks his lips.
"See? We have one thing in common."
"I see, Harry. Now, why don't you let daddy take all of your clothes off, mh?" Louis says, standing up and checking Harry out a few times.
He's just too much for Louis' eyes.
"Oh, yes, take all of my clothes off, baby." Harry says, faking a loud moan, and after a second both of them laugh.
Louis shakes his head and tries to remove Harry's skinny jeans.
"You should stop doing that. It turns me off." Louis says jokingly, and Harry raises himself on his elbows.
"What? Isn't it the part where I moan like my life depends on it?"
Louis finally manages to slide Harry's jeans down until they reach his calves, "No, Harry." Louis says, looking at him and smiling, and Harry pretends to be surprised.
"Didn't know it."
Louis completely removes Harry's jeans and spreads his legs wide.
Harry lays down on the bed with his upper body, too, and enjoys Louis' kisses on his inner thighs.
"And by the way," Louis says, sucking a hickey on Harry's skin, making him flinch, "I like the way you looked while I was pouring all the water on your body."
Harry arches his back with a hum as soon as Louis kitten-licks his dick, smirking.
"You agree with me, don't you?"
Harry nods, his eyes shut.
Then he remembers something, activating his mind for a few seconds.
"Lou, wait. Shit." he lifts himself up on his elbows and looks at Louis.
"What, baby? Calm down, you okay?"
Harry nods and blushes.
Louis caresses his thigh, looking at him.
"I just...I mean...I think I should go back to my place."
Louis ignores the way something inside him metaphorically cracks.
"I mean...I...uhm...I'm clean but...not....uhm...not completely clean to...do this...I should...take a...shower..."
Louis smiles fondly at him.
Was it just because of this?
"You don't have to feel ashamed. If you want you can have a shower here."
Harry nods, still blushing, and Louis kisses his lips.
"I don't care about it. But, I understand we have to pay attention when it comes to this stuff, in order to not get infections."
Harry nods again and stands up with Louis.
"Uhm...did we left the kitchen...with all that water on the floor?"
Louis chuckles, "I think we did."
"I'll help you with that. Later."
"Later, baby." Louis says, reminding Harry of a sentence he said before, when they were heading to the kitchen, which was exactly the same.
Once Harry's in the shower and he cleaned every single part of his body way too accuratedly, Louis presses his nose on a shower wall, making Harry -who's feeling way too embarassed- smile.
"Sorry, it took a while. Lou." he says, his voice sounding adorable while he chuckles slightly at Louis' childish but pleasant actions.
"What? You don't like my noise?"
Harry's smile widens, "I don't."
"You just like my cock, don't you?" Louis asks, crossing his arms over his chest, pretending to be mad at Harry.
Harry's still smiling, feeling less embarassed.
He knows Louis is trying to distract him, and what he's doing it's nice.
If Louis is agtually trying to show Harry it's not a bit deal if he had to take a shower before fucking, well.
Harry might want to fuck Louis right now as a sign of gratitude.
He's actually been thinking about fucking Louis for a while now.
Louis' illegal butt is way too illegal to be left there, untouched.
"Oh, no, how did you manage to know it?"
Harry's heart warms seeing Louis entering the shower, smiling.
"I'm smart, you know. Can I join you?"
Harry nods and circles Louis' hips with his hands.
Louis raises himself up on his tip toes and kisses Harry's lips once, his jaw and then his neck.
He looks at Harry happily, and Harry almost -almost- forgets he's holding Louis' naked body in his hands.
Louis risks to forget about the same thing, because of how piercing Harry's green eyes are.
Harry can feel his body shivering a little.
He doesn't know why, but he thinks he's an idiot, which is why he doesn't get why Louis is lovingly smiling at him.
"I'm so glad I met you. And I've always wanted to be in a shower with you, so I feel like my dream is coming true." Louis says, smiling, and Harry doesn't know how to handle all the positive feelings and thoughts his body is radiating.
"Lou. That was such a nice way to confess me one of your erotic dreams. Do you want to say something else about it?" Harry asks, smiling, and Louis chuckles.
"You're such an idiot. I didn't think about sex this time and you have to mention it?"
Harry's still smiling, "That's what boyfriends are for."
"Gonna shut you up."
Harry smirks, "With what, daddy?"
Louis tries to mantain his posture and facial expression still, "With my hand. Here."
Louis simply places his hand on Harry's mouth, covering it, and Harry chuckles.
"What? Isn't it enough?"
Harry's still smiling while shaking his head no.
"Fine. Then I guess I'll just have to bare with you."
Harry kisses Louis' nose and squeezes his hips once, as if reminding him his hands are there.
"I know you can do this. I know you will." Harry says, smiling, and Louis can't help but do the same thing.
"Thought I was your personal trainer?" Louis says, putting more emphasis on the 'I'.
"Well, we can change things sometimes, can't we?"
Louis gets lost in Harry's eyes for a few seconds, just the right amount of time to realise there's something different in them.
Harry's voice is different too, and Louis wonders if Harry is just referring to their nicknames, or about something else, or if it's just him who misunderstood.
"What else do you want to change?" Louis asks, his thumb moving through Harry's hair.
Harry looks slightly embarassed, but Louis knows he's trying not to make it obvious.
"Well, you know...maybe we could try something different?"
Louis smirks at Harry's words, "Something different? What d'you have in mind, Har?"
Harry licks his lips, smirking, "Can I show you?"
Louis stares for a couple of moments at Harry, deciding he can trust him.
Harry smiles and pecks Louis' lips, "You won't regret it. Now turn around and look at the beautiful wall you have in front of you."
Louis shakes his head and smiles, doing as he's told.
"Wanna be in charge, mh?"
Harry kneels down, not caring that he's going to hurt his knees, and licks his lips when his face is right in front of Louis' butt.
"Nope, daddy. Wanna make you feel good like nobody had the guts to do." Harry says, his voice sounding way too tempting.
Louis curses under his breath and in the same moment Harry grabs his buttcheeks in his hands, spreading them.
"Baby. You're so good for- what the- fuck."
Louis actually curses out loud as soon as Harry's tongue starts teasing his entrance.
"Is it okay, daddy? Can I?"
Louis leans over Harry with his pelvis and places his hands on the wall in front of him to steady himself.
"As long as it's you, you can. Thanks for asking, baby."
Louis doesn't usually show how grateful he is for Harry's little gestures and questions, but he actually is. Every day.
Harry kisses Louis' entrance and brushes his thumb on it, pressing gently.
Louis leans over him more with a little hum escaping his lips.
"What do you mean?"
Louis is glad he's blushing in front of a wall and not in front of Harry's face, which is between his butt.
"I've never done something like this. Didn't really like the idea. But, to be honest now, I feel comfortable with you. I like the idea."
Harry feels even more excited at the thought he's finally going to do something nobody actually have never done to Louis.
He's going to make this as good as possible, even if it's the first time for him, too, in this.
"Me too. I know the feeling. But tell me when you want me to stop, please."
Louis smiles and nods, "I will, baby. Thank you agai- shit, Harry, fucking warn me."
Harry smiles after licking all the way up to Louis' butt, and blows on it.
He spreads Louis' buttcheeks as wide as possible and keeps blowing on Louis' butthole, making him shiver.
"You sure this is- this is the first time you do something so fucking good?"
Harry's starting to feel even more confident about all of this, because of Louis' words.
"Yep. But I know how to do it."
He doesn't say he knows it so well just because it's something which was often done to him.
He just bites Louis' buttcheek.
"Of course." Louis says, smiling.
"You love it, daddy." Harry says, and he starts licking Louis' entrance, making him shiver and hum slightly.
"You're right, baby. Shit, feels so weird and good at the same time."
Harry smiles and licks every single part of Louis' entrance, at least the section which is on the outside, and when he starts hearing Louis complains he stops.
"Babe, please, stop teasin'."
Harry kisses Louis' buttcheeks and grabs them again.
Louis doesn't just let out a surprised breath.
He also gasps when Harry's tongue enters him and slowly fucks in him.
"Harry." Louis says, "Feels so fucking strange."
Harry hums, finding it hard to breath in between Louis' glorious butt, but at the same time feeling so good, because Louis' arse is so fucking soft and plump and extremely nice to touch and bite and lick.
Harry slows down and leans back, taking a deep breath.
His heart is beating just as fast as Louis'.
Louis smiles, apprecciating Harry's concern, and nods.
"Yeah, I like it. You okay?"
Harry chuckles, "Lou, have you seen your arse in these past few years?"
Louis nods, leaning back on Harry, "Yeah, but I need you to do something or else I'm going to fucking explode."
Harry smirks and kisses Louis' buttcheeks slowly, creating an invisible circle.
"Now, imagine how good it feels to me..." Harry bites Louis' entrance, making him wince -did he like it or not?-, "to have your plump perfect arse on my skin, more accuratedly on my face, while I use my tongue to fuck in you."
Harry says, kissing the skin he was biting.
"Well, it feels fucking good."
"You're gonna kill me." Louis mutters, swallowing.
"No, daddy, I'm gonna fuck you."
Louis shivers as soon as he hears Harry's words.
"If it's okay for you. Hope it is. I've been thinking about it for too long." Harry adds, and Louis feels like he loves him so much and he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.
All these questions Harry's asking him are making Louis feel so at ease and loved, nobody have ever asked him if he was alright with something, especially when it came to sex.
And here Harry is, horny, with his tongue buried in Louis' butt, pulling away once in a while to make sure Louis is okay with what they're doing.
Louis loves Harry.
"Want you to fuck me, baby, of course I want." Louis breathes, leaving Harry even happier than before.
All of this is not just sex. It's a consential thing, a progress they're doing in their relationship, and they're getting closer and closer.
Not to their orgasms, but at least to one another.
"So what if I do this...?"
Louis is confused at the very beginning, but when he feels something else in his butt, he arches his spine, because Harry's fucking finger is in him, and -wow.
He knew how Harry's fingers were but feeling just one of them in his butt is a completely different thing.
"Fuck, Lou, you look so good."
Louis lets out a breath and swallows.
"You feel so good. Even if it's just one. Shit."
Harry slowly starts fucking Louis with his finger, loving how tight he is, but at the same time feeling accomplished at how Louis slowly manages to stop tensing his muscle, releasing it.
"Relax a little bit more, daddy. Don't forget to breath, please."
Louis smiles and takes a deep breath, actually realising he stopped breathing for a few seconds.
"You're right, Har." Louis manages to say.
Of course he stops smiling as soon as Harry adds a second finger and fucks in him with it.
Louis hums and tenses up slightly, despite Harry's advise.
By the time Louis is ready, Harry has three fingers in him, and he's way too horny, Louis too, but he finally hits Louis' prostate, which is the best thing he could ever do because now Louis' back is even more arched than before, and Louis is finally moaning, not in his usual way, but in a different way.
He's actually feeling all the possible pleasure he can feel in this moment, and Harry's so fucking happy because he's the cause of that.
"Harry. Shit. Fuck me. Want you to fuck me right here. Baby."
Harry smirks and gets up, slapping one of Louis' buttcheek.
Louis shivers because that was the same second in which Harry removed his fingers from Louis.
"If you turn around, I will gladly fuck the shit out of you. Against this wall. Need to fuck you against this wall."
Louis takes a deep breath and slowly straightens himselp up, hearing his back cracking once.
"Shit. How long have we been here?" Louis asks, his voice trembling lovingly, turning around to look at Harry- to look at Harry opening his mouth and sucking the three fingers which were inside Louis in his mouth.
Louis is not going to survive to this.
"I don't know but I've never felt so fucking good." Harry says, removing his fingers out of his mouth with a pop, looking at Louis as if he's going to fuck him.
That's exactly what he's going to do.
"I. Have never felt so fucking good, Harry."
Harry smiles and pecks Louis' lips, "You did so good, though. I know it's not a comfortable position. Maybe you prefer your bed?"
Louis instintively looks at Harry's knees, thinking that Harry is actually the one who truly felt uncomfortable in this.
"Har, but...your knees- I mean, babe- do they hurt? They look like they do..."
Harry glances for a moment at his knees and sighs, "It was completely worth it, Lou. At some point I forgot about them."
Louis isn't satisfied with Harry's reply, "But-"
Harry grabs Louis by the back of his legs, right under his butt, and lifts him up, making him gasp.
"Silly." Harry says, chuckling, and Louis crosses his legs around Harry's waist.
"Sorry if I wasn't expecting someone to lift ninety pounds, out of the blue."
"Lou, you don't weight ninety pounds, and it's not a big deal. It's for a good cause."
Louis snorts and while he places his hands on Harry's shoulders, Harry hurriedly slams him on the wall, paying attention not to hurt him.
He knows Louis likes it hard, so.
"What's wrong with you today?" Louis asks, slowly grinding on Harry, refusing to let him know he just realised he loves being slammed on a wall by him.
"Your arse gives me energy and makes me feel happy." Harry says, smiling first, but when he feels Louis' cock grinding on his, he just grips him tighter and leans over him to kiss his neck.
"Liar." Louis says, smiling, and Harry chuckles.
Louis rolls his eyes to the ceiling, "Are we really having a conversation in the middle of our pre-fucking session?"
Harry bites Louis' skin, "Mh, yes. Love talking to you like this."
"Shit. Me too." Louis confesses, making Harry smile.
"You idiot. My dick is hurting way too-" Louis smirks and slides his hand down Harry's torso, making him stop talking.
"It's not going to last, baby." Louis whispers in Harry's ear, wrapping his hand around Harry's cock, finally stroking it.
"Fuck, thank you. Fucking finally."
Louis smirks and moves his hand slowly up and down, he knows how Harry likes to have his dick touched.
"Is it me, or lately you're saying too many 'fucks' and bad words?"
"It's your fucking faul, you're too much for my good manners." Harry said, moaning.
Louis is in love.
"Daddy doesn't like it." Louis whispers in Harry's ear, pressing his thumb on Harry's slit.
"Uh, shit. It's not my problem if you don't like it, sorry." Harry manages to say, and when Louis removes his hand, Harry opens his eyes.
When did he close them?
"Just wanted you to act like a good boy, sorry."
Harry pouts, and Louis doesn't hesitate to bite Harry's lower lip.
"I'm your good boy, daddy, no matter what. Always good for you." Harry says, pecking Louis' lips.
He presses Louis' weight on the wall more firmly, so that he doesn't have to carry all his weight in his arms, which will be impossible as soon as they start fucking.
"Mh. You're right. And you look good when you're going to fuck me. Like right now." Louis says with a smirk, and Harry looks at him with his eyebrows raised.
"Oh? Is this a flirt?"
Louis burst out into laughter at Harry's voice, his shoulders shaking from his laughter.
Harry chuckes at his reaction, "Why are you laughing so hard? I mean, I know I'm funny, but-"
Louis kisses him and there's no way Harry's able to speak.
And they finally start their dirt snogging session, which includes whispering to each other dirty things, biting each other's lips and licking into the other's mouth until they can't keep going and their breaths are going too fast.
"Gonna fuck you. Right now "
Louis nods, "Right. My hole is ready for you, baby."
Louis says, exaggeratingly using an unusual voice.
"You say I'm not good to be in a porn, but you. You're worse than me, that's what you are."
Harry says, grinding on Louis.
They don't know how they still have to come.
"Why? Don't they say stuff like this? I'm all wet for you, mmh. Wait. I actually am." Louis says, taking Harry's dick in his hand.
"Oh- Lou, the fuck are you saying with my dick in your hand." Harry chuckles for a second, and Louis smirks, spreading pre-come on Harry's dick and using it as lube.
When Louis is satisfied with it, he slowly slides on Harry's dick, still holding it.
"Oh, fuck." Harry moans slightly, already sucking in his mouth the skin underneath Louis' ear.
Louis thinks in the meanwhile he lost his voice.
Why did he wait so much to have Harry's cock inside him, he doesn't know.
Louis lets out a groan as soon as he throws his head back, forgetting about the wall.
He just wanted to moan and enjoy the moment, not risking to break his head.
Harry looks at Louis confused, but realises what happened after a second, when his minds connects again.
And he chuckles.
Louis looks at him and smiles, "You laughing at me?"
Harry nods and kisses Louis' cheek, "Does it hurt, Lou?"
Louis ignores the way Harry's voice sounds right now, because if he thinks about it he will come in a second, and squeezes Harry's shoulder in his hands.
He can feel Harry's nose caressing his neck, and a kiss once in a while, and this is too much for Louis' heart.
He'll never admit something like that to Harry, though.
"How are you feeling? Can I start fucking in you as hard as I can, or are you still hurting?" Harry asks, his voice deeper and raugher than usual.
Louis opens his eyes and listens to the beating of his heart, which he hopes is not going to explode.
"Wait. Have you been waiting for me to feel comfortable?" Louis asks with disbelief in his voice.
Harry leaves another kiss on his neck, and then looks at him.
"Of course, Lou. You always make sure I want to do these kind of stuff with you. Everything, actually. And i want to do the same with you. I like asking how you're doing with my cock inside you. You know, I could make you moan in a matter of seconds." Harry says as if it's the most easy thing to say in the world, and Louis doesn't get why he finds it so sexy.
They stare at each other for a few seconds, and the only two words Louis can say seem to be the only ones who could make Harry understand how fucking in love Louis is with him.
Or maybe not.
Harry licks his lips and spreads Louis' buttcheeks wide.
Then he thrusts in him and Louis can't even ask himself why this is the first time he's getting fucked, because his mind shuts and the only existing person in the word is Harry.
"If you're going to moan like that during the whole thing, then just know I'm coming right now." Harry says, in between a thrust and another, and Louis opens his eyes to look at him.
"What- did I- moan?"
Harry chuckles and lifts Louis' body up on the wall, making him take a deep breath.
"Yeah, and it was the sexiest thing I've ever heard." Harry says, and Louis doesn't even have the time to think of a reply, because Harry thrusts in him again, and his mind is gone.
"You sound so good, Lou." Harry whispers in Louis' ear, going faster with his thrusts.
"Fuck. You feel so good, shit- oh- fuck's sake, what the fuck is that".
Harry chuckles with Louis because he can't hear his words, and because Louis doesn't even know what he's saying, but it's funny, so they end up laughing.
"Har- what- shit, the fuck we doin'?"
Harry bites the skin of Louis' neck and smiles, "Don't fucking know, Lou."
Louis slides his hands down Harry's torso, until he feels his nipples and squeezes them as hard as he can.
"Lou...fuck." Harry moans, thrusting deeper in Louis and from now on they're just a moaning mess.
By the time Louis actually can't talk any more and Harry is going to come, Louis squeezes Harry's arms in his and feels like he's never experienced something so intimate and beautiful before.
"Your arms are so fucking hard." he manages to say, and he bites Harry's lips.
Harry thrusts in for the millionth time, the following one always better then the previous one, and he bites Louis' lips as a challenge.
"My cock hittin' your fuckin' prostate 's hard." Harry mutters on Louis' lips.
Louis comes between the two of them at that.
As a result, Harry comes with a moan inside Louis, making him hum.
"Fucking shit." Harry says, his voice so deep Louis just- he kisses him with all the strenght left in his body.
They both hum while licking each other's mouths and faces, and Louis squeezes Harry's biceps again.
"Lou. Don't do that, unless you want to end up with your sore bum on the floor." Harry whispers on Louis' lips, making Louis stop in his moves.
"Sorry, baby. Love your arms. How can you- still- how can you still hold me?"
Harry kisses Louis' jawline and smirks, "Why d'ya think I go to the gym?"
"Why does this- sounds so sexy?"
"'Cause I am."
"Love your cock inside me."
"D'you want me to get hard again and make you cry for overstimulation?"
"You manage to sound smart even after fucking my butt."
"Best butt ever."
"It's the only one you fucked."
"This is why it's the best."
"You're an idiot."
"You love my cock."
"And you love mine."
"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen."
"Har, you don't know what you're saying."
"Louis, I do know what I'm saying, with my cock buried inside you. I'm aware."
"Shut the fuck up. Let me walk."
"Your thighs are shaking."
"I don't care."
"You're not going to be able to walk."
"I can walk."
"Sure. And you don't love my cock."
"I told you I love it."
"I hate you."
"Same here, Har."
"You know what? I think I've never said so many bad words in my life."
"Same here, Har."
"You're lovely with that pretty dazed face of yours."
"Because of me."
"And my arms are kind of burning."
"You're in a shower, Har, you can't burn."
"Why are you so lovely today? Was referring to the biceps, you moron."
"Thanks, baby, could say the same 'bout you, but no."
"Did we use a condom?"
"Shit. Do you think you're pregnant?"
"Are you always so stupid after an orgasm and I don't remember it?"
Harry smiles at Louis and kisses him.
Chapter 11: April 10th, 2017
Harry enters Louis' flat with a smirk, looking at him.
Louis sassily raises an eyebrow, looking back at Harry, closing the door.
Harry smiles and leans over Louis to peck his lips.
"Nothing." he innocently says, shrugging.
He turns around and pretends to head to the living room, and Louis holds him from his shoulder.
"Tell me." Louis demands, sounding courious.
He really is.
Harry smiles fondly at the lovely way his voice sounds, turning around.
Now that he's looking back into Louis' eyes, he can't help but lean over him -once again- and peck his lips -once again.
There will never be another moment like this one, and he wants to enjoy it.
He wants to enjoy every single moment he gets to spend with Louis.
"Why are you looking at me as if you know something embarassing about me and I still have to realise what it is?"
Harry takes Louis' hand in his, shrugging.
He loves spending time with Louis, looking at his beautiful -'beautiful'- light-blue eyes, touching his arms, his hands, his cheeks, kissing him, telling him how much he loves him just with his eyes and the way he looks at him.
"Harry? You're weird. Are you okay?"
Harry smiles, nodding, "A lot."
Louis smiles slightly, looking at Harry's dimples and the way his eyes metaphorically shine.
"So? I want to know!"
Harry kisses his nose, "Was just wondering...you know...how is that pretty bum of yours doing."
Louis rolls his eyes to the ceiling -he loves Harry- and pushes his -stupid- boyfriend away.
"Hey! Was just making sure you're okay, no need to physically hurt me." Harry jokingly says, and Louis crosses his arms in front of his chest.
"Don't feel important just because for once you fucked me."
"Oh, but I do. You were...perfect, Lou. Loved it so much. And my biceps got stronger." Harry jokingly says the last part, making Louis snort.
"Why? Told you I loved it and you tell me to shut up."
"Couldn't you tell I loved it, too?"
Harry gets closer to Louis, "Yes, actually. And, shit, your voice was just...wow..."
Louis smiles and crosses Harry's neck with his arms, kissing his chin.
"It was really nice. Don't know why I didn't want to do it before."
"It's all in your head, Lou. Your actions are a result of your thoughts, your mindset and what you think about yourself. Maybe it was a little bit too much pride."
Louis listened Harry talking in awe, "I know, and maybe you're right. I don't know, maybe I was too focused on being the one who's more in charge. You made me change my mind with that pretty little face of yours and pretty little filthy mouth."
Harry circles Louis' hips with his hands now and kisses his nose.
"This pretty little mouth can take your pretty huge cock in it, so don't underestimate it."
Louis thinks for a moment about the last time Harry blew him, and he isn't okay.
"No, but seriously, Lou. Why don't we try to do this thing where we...don't really care of who we are, what we're supposed to do or how we're supposed to act? We can just...do whatever we want, as long as we both are alright with that. We can try something new, maybe? I'm not just talking about sex."
Louis smiles, hearing Harry's words, glad he wants to bring their relationship a step further, too.
"I like it. Want to be myself with you. That...thing we sometimes do...about being a daddy and a, what, sub? I like it, but not when it becomes too much. Want you to be yourself, if you want to call me princess you can do it. You can do whatever you want, as long as it's something good for us."
Harry smiles, nodding, "Yes, I like it. I really do, Lou. We should just...do the things we want to do, without even thinking about it, yeah?"
"Yeah, absolutely yes." Louis says, getting excited about this conversation.
Harry kisses him on the lips, smiling, and, well, Louis does the same thing, fisting Harry's shirt in his tiny hands.
He likes talking about this stuff with Harry.
Even if this was the first time it happened, but oh well.
There's a first time for everything, isn't there?
Harry now caresses Louis' tongue with his, moving it not too fast, nor in a slow motion, but in the way Louis loves it.
They gently kiss for a while, which is nice, relaxing, and when Harry pulls away, he slowly pecks Louis' lips as if he can't get enough of him -which he can't- smiling tenderly at him.
Louis feels like he's dreaming.
He doesn't want this dream to end, but he fears it's going to end soon, so he wants to enjoy every single moment he gets to spend with Harry.
"Mh?" Harry mumbles on Louis' lips, still holding him tight on his body.
"My mother asked me if you wanted to have dinner with us this evening." Louis says, hoping Harry will be there, "Do you want to?"
Harry smiles and pecks Louis' lips, "Of course I do. Was looking forward to it."
"Really?" Louis asks, visibly excited.
Harry nods, caressing Louis' hips, "I really like your family, and you know it."
"What about me?" Louis asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Mh...you? I don't like you, thought it was obvious. I just care about your family."
"Well. I'm not."
After a few seconds Harry chuckles and cups Louis' cheeks in his hand.
"Babe. I think you're fucking amazing."
Louis blushes before he can even realise it.
"Stop it!" he exclaims, and Harry smiles.
"I won't stop."
"Yes, you will stop."
"I will." Harry says, "Never stop."
Louis slaps Harry's shoulder playfully and steps back.
"You're not as nice as you look." he jokingly says, even if he's pouting, while Harry's still smiling.
"But you're really nice, you know? Really really nice." Harry says, lowering his voice towards the end of his sentence.
And then he pecks Louis' lips.
"I mean, you're more confident with me all of a sudden just because you fucked me? Seriously?"
"Lou, sometimes my mood changes, yeah? I'll probably start blushing in five seconds."
Louis smiles now, resting his head on Harry's shoulder.
Harry rests his chin on Louis' head, first leaving a kiss in between his hair, and Louis sighs contently, hugging Harry.
"Thank you for what you said. And I wasn't serious when I was telling you about your confidence. I like it if sometimes we- like- we change the way we act, you know, as long as we are our true selves it's completely okay."
Harry squeezes Louis' body in his hands, smiling.
'I love you'.
"I really like it. I'm glad you want to do this, too, and be a little bit more spontaneous, you know?"
Louis kisses Harry's clothed shoulder and looks at him.
"I'm glad, too. And dinner is at 7, by the way."
That's the last thing Louis says before kissing Harry.
"Har. You don't have to be nervous." Louis says, looking at Harry's shaking hands.
Harry takes a deep breath and squeezes the steering wheel in his hands, looking at the road in front of him.
"I'm not nervous." Harry says, his voice nervously raising.
Louis leans over him, turning his body towards Harry, and kisses his cheek slowly, so that his lips rest for a moment on Harry's cheek.
"I like your shirt. These flowers are really nice." Louis says, noticing the way Harry's body relaxes slightly.
"You always look good. I don't know how you do it."
Harry smiles slightly, forcing himself not to look into Louis' eyes, especially now that he's so close to him.
"How is this supposed to make me feel less nervous?" Harry asks, smiling, and Louis chuckles at what he says.
Harry really is trying his best not to look at Louis.
He wants to look at him so bad.
"Would you shut up and kiss me again, please?"
Louis snorts, "Just if you ask nicely."
This time Harry snorts, "You wish."
Louis leans back in his previous position, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Alright. I won't kiss you, then."
"Wanna bet?" Harry asks, smirking.
"No need to bet on it. You'll see it yourself."
Harry rolls his eyes to the ceiling and realises they're arrived.
"I'll make sure to ask nicely tonight." Harry whispers in Louis' ear once that he turns the engine off.
Louis chuckles nervously and looks at Harry, "Are you trying to be sexy?"
Harry smiles, nodding, "Just for you."
"Oh, yeah, I bet."
"So now you wanna bet?"
Louis nods, "Just so you know, my mother and everyone else is waiting for us, so I'd really apprecciate it if you got off of me."
Harry kisses the spot underneath Louis' ear.
"You want me to get you off?" Harry asks confidently, but the way Louis looks at him, raising his eyebrows, makes him blush hopelessly.
"Are you done?" Louis asks instead of stating the reply Harry's waiting, smiling at him challenging.
"Could you kiss my lips, please? I'd really apprecciate it. Pretty please." Harry says, blinking a few times purposely.
"Yes, even if I think you're moody."
"I'm not. You wanted me to ask nicely, I did as I was told."
"You're going to make me go out of my mind and it'll be your fault." Louis says, smiling, kissing Harry's lips properly.
Harry smiles, feeling Louis' lips on his, and he gently cups his face with his hands.
"Your hands are huge." Louis says, pulling away, and Harry playfully bites Louis' lower lip.
"My fingers, too." he just says, smirking, and he's pleased to notice Louis' slightly red cheeks.
"Let's go, yeah? They're waiting for us." Louis says, and Harry looks at him as if he's going to say something.
"What?" Louis asks, opening the car door.
"Nothing. It's just that lately you're weird. It's like...I mean, you seem shy or something. Did we switch our roles?" Harry asks, and Louis leans over him and quickly pinches one of Harry's nipples in between his two fingers, making the boy jump slightly.
"Move that little bum of yours and shut up." Louis says, smiling, exiting the car.
Harry tries to hide his smile, takes his keys, opens the car door and exits.
Once the car is locked and they head to the door, Louis knocks at it, noticing Harry still seems to be a bit nervous.
Instead of making fun of him, Louis decides to act like the -very nice- boyfriend he is by taking Harry's hand and squeezing it.
Harry looks at him, but then Louis' mother opens the door.
"Hi, my dears! How are you guys?"
Louis smiles and kisses his mother's cheek, but doesn't let go of Harry's hand.
"It's all good, mum. Harry here is a little nervous. Maybe we scared him last time he was here?"
Louis' mother smiles at Harry, who just says hi.
"Oh, I'm sure you were the one who scared him. Now, what are you waiting for? Dinner's almost ready."
"Yeah, yeah, we're coming in." Louis says, chuckling at his mother's inpatience, entering the house with Harry by his side.
And then it's just chaos.
"Uh, look who's here!"
Daisy is the first one to greet her broth- no, wait, she's the first one to greet Harry by running in his direction.
Harry smiles at her, seeing how eager she is to see him, and he remembers what she said in a video Louis showed him were there were a few members of his family.
Daisy seems to really like Harry, more than everyone else.
"Harry! Harry!" Daisy exclaims, "I was waiting for you!"
"Oh, thanks." Louis sarcastly says, even if he's hugging two of her sisters.
The others are just waiting for their turn.
Harry chuckles lovingly at the little girl who's so excited to see him and bends a little bit down so that he's slightly closer to her frame, "I'm really glad you did. How are you, lovely?"
Louis scoffs and Lottie chuckles, hugging him.
"I'm super duper fine! Can I hug you, please?"
Harry smiles widely and nods, spreading his arms in Daisy's direction, "Of course you can, you don't even have to ask me."
Daisy happily smiles, hugging Harry, and then she giggles when he lifts her up, so that Harry's holding her in her arms.
Actually, he's using just one arm, but, okay.
"Thank you, Harry! You're so nice!"
Louis chuckles this time, looking at the two of them, "By the way, hi, Daisy."
"Hi! Sorry, I had to make a good impression on Harry first."
Everyone in the room laugh and just now Harry notices all the people that are in there, for he was too focused on Daisy's nice words.
"Uhm...hi, everyone, I guess? Thank you for...inviting me here with you, I'm really glad to be here."
"Yes! Finally!" Daisy exclaims, and Harry looks at her, smiling.
By now he doesn't even remember he was nervous before seeing her.
"Harry, it's a pleasure to have you here with us, really." Louis' mother says, and everyone starts commenting his sentence.
"Absolutely yes, you don't have to thank us."
"Hi, Harry, how are you?"
"I'm really fine, thanks, you?" Harry asks, even if he doesn't remember the name of the girl he's talking to.
"Same here. Like, really."
Harry nods, and then hears someone else talking.
"Hi to you too. Louis always texts me and tells me things about you, so we're basically friends. Wait, but you don't know me..."
Harry chuckles at that, Daisy too.
"It's not a problem, really, we can make this work. What's your favourite colour?"
"Uhm. I think pink. Very usual, I know."
"Perfect. I like pink." Harry states proudly.
"He loves it." Louis says, and Harry smiles at him.
For a moment he forgets about everyone but Louis.
Then Daisy reminds him that he's in a room with other people.
"Wow! I like pink, too! My room is pink, did you know that?"
Harry looks at Daisy now, surprised, "Really? No, I didn't, but if you say so then I think I can trust you, now, what do you think?"
Daisy nods, "Yes, I think you should."
"Daisy, c'mon, stop bothering Harry and walk with your legs." another girl says, Harry realises she's Daisy's twin.
"She doesn't bothers me. Maybe you want to try, too?" Harry says, figuring that she probably is just jealous.
There's a lot of complicity between twins and siblings, but fortunately Daisy seems to be oblivious to that.
"No, thank you, I don't act like a baby any more."
Daisy frowns, "Hey! I'm not a baby! I just missed Harry!"
Daisy squeezes Harry's body in her little hands and rests her head on his shoulder.
Louis, looking at them, is almost melting.
"Hey, don't worry, everyone's different." Harry says, walking to the couch.
"Listen, I'm going to tell you a secret, but you can't tell anybody. Not even to your secret diary."
Daisy looks at him, curious, her frown disappeared, "I won't tell. What is it?"
Harry sits on the couch, one of Louis' sisters was already there with the two baby twins, "If you're the only one who wants to hug me, it's not a problem, 'cause guess what? You're going to have more time to do that."
Daisy smiles at Harry, nodding, "You're right. Shh! Now we should stop talking about it."
Harry nods, "Yes, exactly."
Louis is looking at them with eyes filled with love.
He slowly approaches them and asks, "So, what are you two talking about?"
"Harry! Remember the secret!"
Harry chuckles, finding Daisy just lovely, and nods at her, "Don't worry, I got it. Lou, we were just making fun of you, weren't we?"
Harry looks at Daisy, who nods, "Yes. Because you're really funny."
"Oh? Thank you, how nice of you. So glad."
"Well, I know, you love us." Harry says, without paying attention to his words.
Louis ignores the way his heartbeat quickens and just nods, "Yeah, right."
"Well. Everything was perfect. I'm not even exaggerating. Thank you so much."
"Glad you think so, feel free to bring Louis here with you whenever you want."
Louis forrows his eyebrows at his mother, "Sorry, mum. Shouldn't you say this to me? Since, you know, I'm your son and Harry is just some weird human being who happens to live in front of me?"
Harry raises his eyebrows, "Right, I'm just your flatmate."
Louis looks at him, his frown changing into a smile.
They both remember when they first started to refer to one another with the flatmate and personal trainer nicknames, which is making both of them smiling.
"Wanted to see how jealous you can get. Love you, boo."
Louis rolls his eyes to the ceiling when his mother kisses his cheek, and Harry looks at them amused.
"Well, Louis, Harry, guess I'll see you soon."
"Bye, bro. Bye Harry. It was really nice seeing you again."
"I agree. Bye bye."
"See you soon."
"Lou! I'll miss you! Harry!! I'll miss you too!"
Harry smiles at everyone, thanks them and looks at Daisy while Louis' mother is saying something to his son.
"Hey. I'll miss you too. But don't worry, we'll see each other again, yeah? We have to make fun of Louis somehow." Harry says, bending his knees slightly, his arms placed at the top of his knees to support his upper body slightly bent.
"Yes! You're almost as smart as me! Incredible."
Harry chuckles and ruffles Daisy's hair, "Thanks, I know I'm not that bad."
"Okay, but don't ruin my hair!"
"Not sure about that." Harry says, and Daisy circles his neck with his arms, hugging him.
Harry smiles and hugs her back, even if it's a little awkward because of the difference in height.
"Okay, okay, now, Daisy, don't you think you should go to bed?" Louis says, and Harry slowly pulls away, kissing Daisy's forehead.
Louis' mother looks at them with such an adoration which is just lovely.
"Thank you, Harry. You're really nice. Now I know why Louis always says good things about you." Daisy says, and Harry looks at Louis for a moment, seeing that he was already looking at him.
"Louis is just as nice as he thinks I am. He really is. You're lucky to have him as a brother."
Daisy nods, "But he's right! I should go to bed now. Bye bye. Lou! Wait! I love you so so much, don't forget it!"
Louis smiles and bends down slightly, kissing Daisy's cheek, "Love you too, sis. I'll miss you all, honestly. And at the same time I won't. Okay, just kidding. Good night everyone."
"Sweet dreams." Harry says, his voice as lovely as his smile.
The two of them exits the house and head to Harry's car, feeling happy.
Once they're inside, Harry turns the engine on, feeling lighter in his heart.
"Your family is really nice. Thank you so much, Louis. I apprecciate all of this."
Louis smiles, looking at Harry.
'I love you'.
"It's a pleasure. And Daisy loves you."
"She's really nice. Hope she won't let anyone ruin her beautiful mindset."
Louis nods, "Hope so for every one of my sisters."
Harry's still looking at the road in front of him.
'I love you.'
And he doesn't have to say anything.
Louis takes his hand in his own and squeezes it, and that's everything they need now.
Chapter 12: April 14th, 2017
~ as always, thanks for reading and leaving kudos
Here there's what happens when Harry and Louis are tired and they decide to lay down on a couch.
Both of them.
On the same couch.
Trying to cuddle.
"You do know your body is basically squeezing mine, right?" Harry asks to a smiling Louis, who nods with his eyes closed, chuckling.
"Yes, and I love it. I like your body." Louis simply replies, moving a little on Harry's body, so that he can adjust his position.
He's still a beginner when it comes to laying on top of his flatmate.
Harry raises an eyebrow, "And you're realising it just now?"
Louis opens an eye to look at him, smiling, "Yes, you idiot. I've never really found your body useful, so it wasn't something I could label as beautiful. No useful, no beauty." Louis says, matter-of-factly.
Harry chuckles slightly, "You don't even know what you're saying."
Louis nods, still smiling, "You're right, you're right. Wait, what's this?"
Louis, facing Harry, slides his hand on Harry's body, feeling something on him which shouldn't be there, but then finds out it's just Harry's belt.
Harry's looking at him with the amused face he automatically does whenever Louis says or does something stupid or adorably embarassing.
Sensing it, Louis looks up at him, "Hey! Don't mentally make fun of me! Your belt doesn't like my tummy."
Harry smiles and slides his hand on Louis back, and Louis rests his head on Harry's chest.
"Maybe you want me to take that off? You know, with jeans and boxer and all." Harry jokingly says, and Louis hums when Harry's hand gently slides on his butt.
"Is this your way to ask me if I'm up to see you naked while you suck on my cock?" Louis asks, raising his head to look at Harry, who slaps his butt.
"Hey! It was just a simple question, you meanie!"
Harry tries to hide his smile with no results.
"It's not nice of you to make me hard when I'm almost falling asleep and don't have any strength left in my body."
Louis is back on resting his head on Harry's chest.
"Well, from what my arse felt, you had enough strengh in your hand to slap it."
"The funny thing is that you're trying really hard to sound as if you didn't like it." Harry says, making Louis smile.
"I didn't like it, in fact."
"Oh, you did."
"Yes, admit it."
"I didn't like it."
They both look at each other and Louis is the first one to roll his eyes to the ceiling and move upwards to kiss Harry.
Harry smiles as Louis' lips kiss his own, and he deepens the kiss almost immediately, squeezing Louis' bum in his hands.
Louis hums slightly and lifts his hips up to meet Harry's touch more, and Harry starts grinding on his thigh.
That's when Louis pulls away.
"Sorry, babe, I'm really tired."
Harry scoffs, "At least now I'm 'babe'."
Louis smiles at him and pecks his lips once, twice, three times, until Harry bites his lower lip and Louis kisses one of his cheek.
Harry does the same, with the opposite cheek, and Louis pecks his lips again, loving Harry's lips on his own.
"Uhm. You know, I was thinking that we should start using condoms."
Harry frowns in confusion, "Why? I want to feel every single part of your cock once that it is in my butt, you know?"
Louis crosses his legs with Harry's, "Me too, but it's pretty risky, you know? Don't want any complications between me and you. Maybe we should do something before something bad will happen, who knows."
Harry's frown deepens, "Lou, what are you saying? I mean, if it's just the two of us, then there's nothing else to say. We're both okay and clean, right? Because it's just the two of us, right?"
Louis senses Harry's starting to tense up and get nervous.
He should have said it in a different way.
"Of course, Harry, but there are so many risks when it comes to that stuff, I just, I don't know, I want the best for you and I want the both of us to stay healthy, you know, since we have the chance."
Harry sits up slightly, making Louis' body slide a little bit.
This is not going to end up well, Louis thinks.
Why did he even mentioned the condoms? Couldn't he just fall asleep in Harry's arms?
He likes fucking up his life.
"Don't start with the 'I want the best for you' shit and tell me what's going on here." Harry says strictly, and Louis sits up on the opposite side of the couch in the same moment Harry does so.
"Honestly, I was just wondering. I started thinking and I remembered the other day I saw a few condoms in a shop, and I thought about you, but then I forgot to tell you and, well, here I am."
Louis was actually being very honest with that, because, well, he was talking to Harry, so, of course he was being honest, no matter what.
But Harry just raises an eyebrow.
"Even if you're probably saying the truth, Louis, you're selfish. I mean, seriously? I can't believe you're actually saying this just now."
Louis is beginning to lose his temper, too, though, because he's everything but selfish with Harry, since he always gives him as many things as he can, and Harry really has no rights to call him selfish.
"What? Are you actually serious now? Me, selfish? Harry, can you even understand the things you're saying?" Louis asks, standing up, looking at Harry.
"I know what I'm saying! You want to use condoms just because last time I fucked you, and it's selfish, Louis, because you've been fucking me for months and you never cared about condoms, but know that this shit deals with your arse, too, oh, yeah, of course, now you care all of a sudden!"
Harry has a really valid point, but Louis- Louis just wanted to say it'd be a good thing to start using condoms, nothing more.
He shakes his head, "You're ridiculous, Harry. You don't know the bullshit you're saying right now."
Harry stands up too, still looking at Louis as if he's an idiot, "What? Now you're blaming me? You're the fucking selfish, see?!"
Louis takes a deep breath, "Ok, clearly, this isn't going anywhere. I just wanted to say that we should start using condoms since we never did that, and since I want the two of us to be okay, physically and mentally, I thought it could be a good idea. Now that it's all sorted out, can I go to sleep?"
"It's not all sorted out! What are you even saying? It's not sorted out at all, Louis!"
Louis takes another deep breath and looks at Harry.
"Harry. Listen, everything I said, is the truth, wheather you believe it or not. So, please, believe it, because I really don't know howelse to put it. It's the truth."
"You want to use condoms just because now if I don't use them it could cause you problems, but when it was just me you didn't even care." Harry says, his voice so hurt that Louis can feel his anger slowly fading away.
"No, Harry, I don't want to use condoms, I just think we should in order to not contract dangerous illnesses. The fact we never used a condom made me realise that's the reason why we should start." Louis tries to explain, hoping he can make Harry be a little bit reasonable.
When Harry's tired, sadly, he's more stubborn than usual.
"And why you're thinking about that all of a sudden? You had seven moths, Louis, seven fucking months and now, wo, what are those? Oh, they're condoms, oh, I didn't know they existed, oh, maybe I can use them with Harry. Yeah, sure Louis."
Louis places his hand on his forehead and leaves it there for a second, before dropping it down.
"I wasn't thinking about them. It's not like we fuck everyday, every hour of our lives. But I really don't know why I hadn't think about them before."
Harry looks silently in Louis' eyes for a few moments.
Louis just wants to sleep.
"I told you I'm not." Louis says, taking a deep breath, "Now, do the fuck you want, I'm going to sleep."
He start heading to his room, but Harry follows him and blocks him.
"Tell me the truth!"
"Harry...I told you-"
"Are you with someone else?"
"Are you seeing...someone else? I don't know...are you sleeping w-with...other people?" Harry's voice weakens little by little towards the end of the sentence.
Louis, looking at Harry, cups his cheeks with the palms of his hands.
"Harry. No. Don't even think about that, Harry. I'm not sleeping with other people, I'm not seeing anyone else, I could never sleep with someone who isn't you, Harry. You have to be really aware of that, okay? Please, be aware of it and know that I really don't have reason to go to someone who isn't you."
Harry looks at Louis, finding his words true because of the way Louis was speaking, but he removes Louis' hands off his face.
"Are you sure? Because to me it seems that you fear you have something and don't want me to contract it, or just that you care about your health and don't want to risk it." Harry coldly says, leaving Louis in a loss of words, because he really doesn't know what else to say now.
"I'm sure, Harry, don't you believe me? I already told you the truth, I don't know what else to say."
"How am I supposed to believe you?" Harry asks, his voice starting to tremble a little.
Louis crosses his arms over his chest, trying not to look as hurt as he actually is.
"Well, I don't know, maybe because I'm dedicating my whole life to you?"
Harry tries not to pay too attention to Louis' words.
"Thanks, but I don't know when I can trust you and when I can't, in these cases. For example, now I don't know what to do. Because...you...you really sound like you're seeing...s-someone else and...a-and, sorry if I s-sound possessive but I don't really like it..." Harry says, lowering his voice, and Louis can feel and hear the pain in Harry's voice.
"Harry, you're my baby, I care about you way too much to go somewhere else with someone who isn't you, I could never do it again, Harry, please." Louis says, trying to make Harry understand.
He doesn't want to lose Harry.
Stupid condoms, stupid Louis, stupid Harry.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"How can I be sure?" Harry asks, almost cutting Louis off.
"From the way I act with you, I guess?"
"This makes no sense."
"Harry, right now your words are making no sense."
Harry scoffs, "Right. Now it's me. Wow, Louis, thank you very much, really."
"I'm just saying what I think, Harry, and I think that you're exaggerating here. I really was just randomly mentioning a thing I thought we should think about, and you're acting as if I told you that you're the worst person in the world and I'm kissing or fucking someone who isn't you right now, in front of you. And I'll never do that. Never. No matter what. So stop acting like a twelve-year old and let me sleep, okay? I'm trying to stay calm, but..."
Harry frowns, not understanding why Louis has to be so stupid and annoying and boring right now, "You don't even care about the way I feel, don't you? You think you can say everything you want without getting any reaction? Well, Louis, sometimes I get hurt by the stupid things you say, and it's not nice to hear you saying them."
Louis gets closer to Harry, crossing his arms over his chest, "You have to be kidding me. I always think about the words I use. I always think first and then say whatever it is that I have to say. Whenever I'm almost saying something that could hurt you, I fucking shut up and you're telling me that I don't care about you?!"
Harry flinches for a moment as soon as Louis raises his voice.
Louis does, too, when he realises it.
But he's angry, and Harry is really pissing him off, because what the fuck is wrong with him tonight?
Where's the nice, caring, lovely Harry he loves to cuddle?
Where is him?
"Why the fuck you raise your voice at me, uh?! Listen, I'm tired. I don't want to hear you talking and I don't want to look at you, honestly, because I feel like I could do something stupid." Harry says, going to the kitchen to collect all the things he put when he first came in Louis' flat, and heads to the door.
Louis takes a deep breath and ignores the fact there's a revolution going on in his body, mind and heart and he heads to the door as well.
Harry looks at him for a moment with a frown, and Louis just wants to hug him and tell him that it's okay to argue a little bit, he wants to hug Harry and pretend they didn't yelled at each other, but Harry seems to have other plans.
"If you wanted to make fun of me and go with someone else, well, congratulations, you made it."
Harry opens the door and exits Louis' flat, quickly walking to his.
He takes his key and opens his door while Louis is standing on the doorframe like an idiot.
"I didn't cheat on you, and- I- I don't understand why you're saying these things all of a sudden. We were going to fall asleep and everything was so nice and then you just-"
Harry looks at him, opening the door, "Good things don't last forever. And don't you dare blame me for all of this. You know how much I try to not think about it, so don't judge my stupid, overwhelmed, childish reaction." Harry says, his voice trembling.
"Harry, baby, come here, we can talk about this, I don't want you to feel bad. I'm sorry, it's my fault and I know it, but please don't push me away like this, you're not the only one who's hurt by this whole thing." Louis says pleadingly, still standing on the doorstep with his door open.
Harry looks at him and for a second he's tempted to go to Louis, but then he forces himself to change his mind.
"Sorry. I want to stay alone. I'm sorry for everything bad I said. Didn't mean to hurt you. I r-really didn't. Sorry, Lou, good night." Harry says, entering the flat and closing the door begind him.
Louis looks in his direction, astonished, repeating in his mind Harry words.
Then he chuckles for a second.
That's going to be a really exciting good night for sure, Louis thinks, trying to cheer himself up or else he'll start to cry over Harry like an idiot.
- the following day -
"Man, what's that sad look, c'mon, we're fucking having lunch, look at this food!" Jacob, Louis' friend, exclaims, jokingly punching Louis' left shoulder.
"Leave me the fuck alone if you don't like my sad vibe." Louis replies, still pissed off/hurt by what Harry told him the day before, even if he's glad Jacob is there, having lunch with him like the good asshole friend he is.
"Ok, so, let's just analise today's vibe." Jacob seriously says, looking at Louis as if trying to make two flowers appear on his head by using his thoughts.
Louis looks at him and tries to hide his smile, because, really? Jacob is actually focusing on Louis' expression in the middle of their lunch?
Louis appreciates it.
"Ha! That's a smile, I can see it!"
Louis' smile widens and he looks down, "Stop it, you idiot."
"Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. You're smiling and it's all because of me. Now I feel accomplished. You're already feeling better, aren't you?"
Louis swallows his food and looks at Jacob, "It takes a little bit more to actually influence someone else's mood, especially when it comes to me."
Jacob raises his eyebrows, "Oh, excuse me, Mr. You Can't Influence My Mood That Easily. Like, thank you for the lesson."
Louis chuckles automatically at Jacob's voice, while Jacob smirks at his reaction and keeps eating.
"Fine. What do you want to know?" Louis asks, before drinking some water.
"Oh, finally. You already know it, by the way. Lately you're always happy and excited about everything, now you're the opposite. C'mon, tell your bro, what did Harry do? Or, what didn't he do?"
Louis sighs, "It's a long, stupid, senseless story. And I don't get why you call me bro. Like, we're thirty and you still do that?"
Jacob smiles, nodding, "Always. Now, tell me what he did. Want to know so that I can make fun of you afterwards. Go go go go."
Louis rolls his eyes to the ceiling and keeps eating.
"Yeah, use your food as an excuse. The one you didn't want to eat until a minute ago."
Louis raises an eyebrow at him, because he's Jacob, and talks when he doesn't have his mouth full of food.
"I don't know, man. I just mentioned that we should use condoms because I read an article about sex and all the negative aspects of it and I remembered all the infections I knew someone can take when fucking without protections, I don't know why I kind of had temporally forgotten them, and Harry started this whole useless thing against me, and I don't get it."
Jacob nods, eating, and Louis mentally thanks him with his eyes.
He takes Jacob's nod as a sign that he can keep on talking.
"I don't want to make a big deal of it, really, but he just started saying that I don't care about him, and at some point he started doubting everything, and he basically thinks I cheated on him or something, which is just- ridiculous."
Jacob swallows his food and drinks some of Louis' water, just to piss him off a little bit.
He mentally smiles when he succeeds.
"Man, I don't know, I think it's pretty normal. He's probably a bit upset, you know? I don't know, maybe he's too attached to the memory."
Louis nods, "Just as much as I am, so. It's just that I think it hurts more for him. I hate saying this, it sounds as if someone's dying and everything is ending, for fuck's sake."
Jacob nods, looking at Louis.
"I know you don't know what to say. It's okay. Thanks for listening my frustration."
That makes Jacob smile, "Man, I'm always here to listen to your frustration and to support you and to tell you whenever it's okay to fuck Harry."
Louis rolls his eyes to the ceiling, "I told you I don't like it when you talk about sex and Harry. They're two different things for you. Forget about them."
"I already told you I like tits. And pussies. Man, they look so good. Women are such a blessing, they all are beautiful. Lovely to fuck, too. Did I told you what happened to the last one?"
Louis ignores the fact he was talking about his lovely Harry and nods.
"Yeah, something like four times. You fucked, of course, and while you were doing it a friend of her came in. You fucked her too. Which was good, like, congrats, but I still didn't get why her friend was there."
Jacob smirks, "It's a long story. I'll tell you more when everything with Harry is sorted out. So, when was the last time you fucked him?"
Louis rolls his eyes to the celing, "It's not relevant."
"Tell me at least a week ago. No? Two weeks?"
"Eat your food and shut up." Louis just says, ignoring the questions.
"Okay, dad. By the way, I think you guys should just accept the truth and talk seriously about your past. Try to remember and openly talk about the moments you'd spent together, yeah? That's the only way to overcome it."
Louis thinks about Jacob's words for a few seconds.
"You mean, we should talk about our past? Instead of pretending it doesn't exist?"
"Exactly. Exactly that. You will never overcome this negative feeling you have whenever you think about what you did if you don't accept it. The more you reject it, the more you try stop thinking about it and blocking it, the more you'll struggle."
Louis parts his lips slightly.
"You sure you're okay? How come did you just say all these things you never say?"
Jacob closes his eyes for a moment, his face assuming a comical posh-like expression.
"Well, my dear, I'm way more than a man who enjoys having sex with ladies."
Louis scoffs, shaking his head, "The point is, you're right. Can't believe it. You actually said something smart, which is already helping me. Shit, Jacob, say these things more often!"
Jacob smirks, looking knowingly at Louis, "I know, you didn't expect it. Can't say these things too often, I'd rather talk about sex and girls. And Harry."
Louis stares for a few seconds at Jacob, "You know, you were saying too many nice things, I knew you had to say something stupid."
Jacob smiles at him, "Well, that's who I am, right?"
And just then Louis realises the complexity of Jacob's mind.
He will think about it another time, though, since he has to think about what he's going to say to Harry.
Chapter 13: April 15th, 2017
"Where ya going, Haz?"
Harry's muscles clench as soon as he hears Martin's voice.
However, Harry decides to ignore him and keep on walking, looking straight ahead of himself.
"So rude, babe. No need to be." Martin says, sounding way too annoying, walking by Harry's side.
"You follow me, now?" Harry asks, just because he's scared by the idea of Martin stalking him -which has to be true, or else how would he know that Harry was taking a walk and was actually going to come back home right now?
"Thought I couldn't leave you all by yourself, I mean, it's been a while, Haz."
Martin surely is referring to the last time they saw each other.
Harry snorts, painfully remembering about what had happened that day.
"I don't want you to be near me, thanks. You know, I thought you were respectful towards me."
Martin doesn't seem to want to give up.
"But I am, Haz! Look who's here just to make sure you're alright?"
Harry sighs when he sees his apartment and walks faster, ingnoring Martin's sentence, which is clearly fake.
Just when he's sure Martin won't bother him anymore and he reaches the principal door of the building, Martin is by his side.
"Let me in?"
Harry tries not to think about the annoying way Martin's words sound, again, and opens the principal door of the building, closing it right after he enters it so that Martin won't piss him off (scare him to death) anymore.
As always, the way Harry's plans end up don't resemble his expectations, and Martin enters the building right after him.
Harry couldn't be more scared now.
"Mh, I take it as a yes."
The way Martin's voice sounds is revolting.
Harry takes a deep breath and looks at him.
He can't believe he used to date Martin.
He doesn't want to think about it.
He doesn't like it at all.
"Fucking disappear out of my sight or else I'm going to call the police." Harry sharply says, and then turns to the opposite side to walk to the elevator.
Wait, should he take the elevator or the stairs?
How can he escape from Martin easily?
How can Harry confuse him in order to not let him enter his flat?
(Because that's one of the things that may happen in a few minutes, or else why is Martin there?)
He just runs to the elevator and, since it was already open, he quickly enters it and pushes the button that will hopefully bring him to his floor.
When the doors are closing and Martin is far away from Harry, looking at him, Harry actually thinks he made it.
Even if it was easy.
But it's all good now.
(Harry thought that Martin could have got in the elevator with him, which caused him to sweat way too much for a day in the life in April, but now he thinks he was just over reacting.)
But as soon as Harry exits the elevator and sees Martin smirking at him, leaning back on Harry's doorframe, well.
Harry wants Louis to be there with him and support him and make him feel better about this, telling him how he doesn't have to worry over Martin because nothing is going to happen, because Louis is there with him and he will never leave Harry alone, never in a million years, because Louis cares about Harry and he- and he's a fucking asshole because he realised condoms exist and can be used just yesterday.
What if Harry got ill because of sex?
What if he's in serious trouble now?
Did Louis hide something from him?
And why is Martin there, in front of Harry?
"Oh, c'mon, don't look at me in that way. You know you're mine."
Harry sighs absent-mindedly and slightly raises his head up to look more confident, as if he's not scared at all.
"I don't want you here, I'm not yours, now please go away because I'm waiting for Louis to come over. You don't want him to rip your ass off." Harry calmly says, looking straight into Martin's eyes.
"Haz, you're so dumb, sometimes. Louis is not going to rip my ass off for two very easy, very nice reasons: first of all, honey, I'm the one who's going to rip an ass off, and it's yours. Secondly, you're so predictable and don't realise I know you and you're just mentioning Louis to scare me, probably. Even if that thing doesn't scare me at all." Martin ends his sentence with a chuckle, and that's when Harry actually gathers his courage.
"You don't fucking call him a thing." he instintively says, getting closer to Martin.
He regrets it the following second, for he realises that's exactly what Martin was trying to make him do.
Stupid Harry and the way he loves Louis.
"Let's not waste our time. Now, why are we still outside?"
"Why are you so different?" Harry asks, and Martin notices the hurt in his eyes. Not that he cares.
"Haz, I'm not different, I just realised I can't let you go. You're too adorable, you have to stay with me. Plus, it's lovely to see you all scared, trying not to show it." Martin says, placing his hand on Harry's cheek and gently caressing it.
Harry doesn't know what to do.
He wants to scream but doesn't know how to.
"Okay. I'm going to scream now."
"Well, that's impressive. An applause to me."
"Haz, c'mon, what did Louis do to you? You were always ready to have my fingers inside you." Martin says, lowering his voice and leaning forward, his lips close to Harry's ear.
Harry instinctively steps back and looks around to see if there's someone else in the corridor.
"I wasn't. Stop reminding me." Harry says, now looking at Martin.
"Oh, why? You were such a good fuck, Haz." Martin says, getting closer to Harry once again.
It's like someone has just punched Harry in the heart, his lips start trembling slightly, since they're out of his control.
Harry frowns and tries to not let Martin's words get on him, but he knows too well he's going to remember them for the rest of the month.
Is he just a good fuck?
"Now, honey, don't do that. It's okay. I mean, I liked you, but, you know, at some point it just got boring. Then I found out about how good it felt to fuck you, and I saw everything on a different perspective. But you knew that, didn't you?"
Harry bites his tongue and he doesn't even know how he manages to keep his mouth closed while doing so, in order to look still and alright with what he's hearing.
"Why? Does it hurt to think that nobody wants you for who you are? Well, Harry, people want you just for your body."
Harry steps back, his hands trembling, now, too.
"Go away." Harry says again, trying to push away all the things in his mind, Martin's sentences repeating over and over again in his head.
"Maybe it hurts more to know that Louis has always been acting like a good person for the whole time, while he's a jerk? To know that after all these years he still uses you? That he just loves your body?"
Harry doesn't have to believe him.
He can't believe him.
Martin's just trying to make him feel bad because- because he's jealous, but Harry doesn't have to believe him.
"Don't you get it, Haz? We're just like animals, we love sex, nothing more. Didn't you know everything else is just a story we tell little innocent children so that they don't get fucked up when they're too little?"
Harry thinks about it for a second.
What if Martin is right?
Harry's head is hurting and spinning, and everything is moving too fast to actually let him think whether or not Martin is right.
"But, look at me. I'm telling you this, despite Louis. He's not right for you, Haz. At least I always tell you the truth."
Harry shakes his head but stops as soon as his sight blurres a little.
"You don't like being aware of the only reason why people look at you and talk to you?"
"Go away. Now. You can't stay here. You can't...you can't stay here, Martin. Leave me alone." Harry says, shoving Martin to the side and taking his keys out of his pocket.
"I just want you to be aware of it."
"I just want you to go away and find someone else to fuck, because you're not going to do that with me."
Harry glances at Martin to see if he's too close or if he's at a distance that can let Harry open the door without risking.
"Why? I'm so kind with you and you're not?"
Harry opens the door and enters the flat, closing his door as quickly as possible until it blocks before closing completely.
Because Martin's foot is blocking it.
Harry's starting to think he's going to have a break down, as much as it sounds exaggerated.
Well, it's a big deal for him.
All of this is a big deal.
"I'm really going to scream if you don't disappear right now." Harry says, trying to keep his temper.
"Why don't you do it, then?" Martin says, pushing the door open before Harry can stop him.
"I said, go away."
If Harry screamed, he would start crying.
And he can't let that happen, he has to keep calm and wait for Martin to go.
He can't let Louis hear him, what if he's at home?
Harry can't let Louis see Martin, he doesn't want Louis to suffer.
He doesn't want to ruin Louis' day.
He misses him so much, hell.
"C'mon, I know you want me here." Martin says, entering the flat while Harry was trying to push him out of it.
Harry clamps his lips and takes a deep breath, looking at Martin.
"Don't you miss me? 'Cause I miss you." Martin says, brushing his fingers over Harry's cheek.
"Martin. I'm trying to tell you that I don't want you here, this is why you should leave me, okay? You can't stay here if- if I don't want to. And you should definitely stop trying to get in my pants because, really, you're not going to get there." Harry says, his voice not as steady as he wishes it would be, but after all not as trembling as he thought it would sound.
"Oh, so you think I'm not going to get there? How come?" Martin asks, his voice sounding way too innocent.
Harry steps back as soon as he can feel one of Martin's hands on his hip, letting it fall down.
"You can't stay here. Please, don't make me punch you. Because I can do that, you know? But I'm trying not to do that in order to not ruin that pretty, fake face of yours. And don't think I'm not being serious." Harry says, figuring that this is the only way he can use to actually make Martin go away.
But Martin just chuckles.
Nothing agaist them. Just against Martin.
"You actually think I believe you?"
"You should." Harry just says.
He doesn't want to punch Martin, violence is not always the only answer.
But it could be, if Martin started to touch him. Which Harry knows is going to happen soon if he doesn't do anything to prevent it.
"You can't punch me, Haz. You're not that kind of person. You're so nice."
Harry's phone starts ringing, almost making Harry jump in surprise.
"I can, and I will if you don't leave me alone." Harry says, trying to look as menacing as possible while taking his phone out of his pocket.
Harry's heart misses a heartbeat when he reads Louis' name on the screen.
He wants him to be there with him so bad, right now more than ever.
'Where are you, Louis?', Harry wonders.
He can hear the desperation in the way his voice sounds in his head.
And then he looks at Martin, who smirks at him.
"What's that sad face, Haz?" Martin says, closing the door of HARRY's flat.
The situation is starting to actually get out of hand, and Harry should have known this.
Not only that, he should have also been more careful and he shouldn't have got distracted because of his phone, since now Martin is in HIS flat and Harry wants to cry so much that his tears are all gathering up at his eyes, but he can't let them fall, or he's going to fall with them, and he definitely can't let that happen.
The ringtone coming out of his phone lets Harry remember that Louis' still calling him, that he loves him so much, and that he has to do something now.
Harry takes a deep breath and puts his phone in his pocket.
And he shoves Martin on the side, opening the door.
Just like that. Why is Louis calling him on the phone, anyways? Why isn't him there with Harry?
Not that Harry needs Louis to get rid of Martin because he could never physically hurt someone no matter who this someone is.
Trying not to get distracted again, Harry focuses on his actions rather than his thoughts, and tries to shove Martin out of his flat.
He just gotta do that, to close the door with Martin on the other side of it, c'mon.
C'mon, he can do that, can't he?
If only Harry wasn't as emotionally wrecked as he is right now.
And, of course.
Of course just when he almost succeeds in finishing his task, Martin grabs his elbows and squeezes them tight, bringing them down, as much as Harry tries to stop him.
It may sound dumb, but the fact Harry's already feeling defeated and down because of what happened with Louis the day before and what's happening with Martin and what he knows is going to happen with Martin are having so much of a negative effect on him that he can't physically react to Martin's actions as much as he actually would be able to.
He's so tired of this.
He's so tired of Martin, he doesn't even care anymore.
"I mean, I was so nice to you and that's what I get?" Martin asks, closing the distance between their bodies.
Harry steps back as soon as Martin tries to kiss him, his stomach curling on himself, and not out of pleasure.
"Fucking leave me alone!" Harry shouts this time, realising it just after doing that.
Wow. Wow, okay, that was loud.
There's a second of complete silence.
The two of them just stare at each other.
Harry takes actions once again and takes advantage of Martin's surprised expression and the fact he's distracted to quickly shake his hands out of Martin's, shoving him back one, two, three times until he's almost tripping on his feet, because, hell, Harry is so strong when he wants to be and that's what Martin gets when he repetedly tries to disrespect him with his stupid, annoying behavior.
"Go away from me and don't you fucking show up again!" Harry says, shoving Martin once again and walking towards his flat as quickly as he can, but Martin is quicker and grabs him when Harry was practically in his flat, shoving him on the doorframe, which hurts.
Harry clenches his fists and jaw, looking into Martin's eyes and letting his hatred enter them.
"Guess you don't want me to be nice with you, now do you? Guess I have to change something." Martin says, way too close to Harry's face, while he grips on Harry's waist and, shit, Harry's hating so much the fact Martin is as tall as him.
Couldn't he be shorter?
Just like Louis, for example.
Louis is perfect, Harry wants him to comfort him and needs him so desperatedly right now that he wouldn't be surprised at himself if he'd started to scream his name for help.
But, it's okay. Harry is okay, nothing bad is going to happen.
It's okay, he can just-
Martin adruptly steps back and Harry lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding when he notices the distance between him and Martin.
His confusion turns into a feeling impossible to describe as soon as he sees a boy looking at him.
"Harry?" asks the boy, looking at Harry, then at Martin, "What's going on here?"