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This Wouldn’t Have Happened in the Analog Era

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Just after the manly bullshitting from the boys for being late had died down, Ryan's iPhone trilled a familiar chime at him. He checked the screen automatically, read Shar's message, and barked out a sharp laugh.

"Yo, Evans, what's so funny?" Chad called from the couch, sitting there all hot and innocent, like Ryan wouldn't gladly drop to his knees and give him reason to spread his thighs like that.

Then again...Chad probably didn't know any of that.

"My sister. She's offering to tie her date to my bed when she's done with him," he said idly, already typing his response.

No, thanks. I don't want your sloppy seconds.

And in response, a moment later:

Since when?

Ryan became aware of a careful silence from the jocks, like the world had gone into slow motion. He looked up to find them all watching him. The afternoon sunlight tickled hot on his back from where it shined through the front windows.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"Wait, Sharpay has a date tonight?" Zeke asked, with a tone like Ryan had just suggested outlawing Prada. Or something.

Silly boy. He would never do that.

Thankfully, Chad seemed to realize this because he promptly rolled his eyes and hit Zeke with a pillow. And then time sped up and everything was back to normal, with rowdy boys shouting at the TV and throwing food at each other.

Ryan merely shook his head and went to take a seat on the floor, out of the line of fire.

***

Would Britney-plaid be too much?

Ryan made an annoyed sound. "Oh. My. God. What is wrong with my sister?"

Jason surfaced from the game playing on the TV screen and turned to Ryan with big, concerned eyes. "What happened?"

"She wants to wear Catholic-school-girl plaid!"

Zeke moaned and flopped onto his stomach in agony. "That's so hot," he mumbled into the pillow. Or so Ryan thought.

"Seriously, dude. It's getting pathetic," Chad grumbled. Then he stretched his legs out over Zeke's prone form. It seemed to brighten his mood.

Ryan shook his head and typed back to Shar:

He's 17. You really don't need to try that hard. Also, plaid? Kinda easy and common.

***

I'm getting tan. When I get out, I expect you'll have come up with...

Ryan hit her number before he finished reading. She picked up immediately.

"You're interrupting me, Ryan. You're very—"

"Shar, step away from the tanning bed." He made sure to put the Serious tone in his voice so she would get it.

She did, from the way she immediately went all wheedling. "Ry, I have a date tonight. I have to get tan."

"You're already looking a little orange."

Shar made an affronted noise, like he'd insulted her parentage or something. Which he so had not. "Am not," she said, petulant.

Oh, please. And that was so patently ludicrous—had she looked at herself in a white shirt recently?—that Ryan chose to ignore it and get to the point:

"Don't make me come over there and pull you out. You know I will." He was still traumatized from that time he'd opened the tanning bed to find her naked except for some sunglasses. But he'd do it. Because he was that kind of brother.

"You're a terrible brother and I never want to speak to you again," she informed him, then hung up.

"That was mature," Ryan muttered. His iPhone immediately informed him he had a new text message. From Shar. Ryan clicked to open it with a long-suffering smile.

Should I wear purple or turquoise?

Ryan chuckled.

Chad threw popcorn at him. "You guys are so weird," he decided.

Ryan pretended not to stare at the little strip of skin peeking out from where Chad's shirt had ridden up.

***

Chad went out to grab his bag from the car and when he came back in, his eyes were huge. "Dude, is that your baby blue Lamborghini?" he asked Ryan. At that, all males in the room rushed to the window to look outside and ascertain if it was, in fact, a baby blue Lamborghini. There may have been elbows thrown. It was a bit of a competitive race.

When the dust settled and the ecstatic moans had decreased to awed silence, Ryan primly said, "Of course." He folded his legs under him Indian-style, rested his elbows on the coffee table, and just dared Chad to comment.

Thankfully, Chad had already gotten over it. He rolled his eyes at Ryan and flopped back onto the—now empty—couch. "Right, why do I even ask?"

Ry managed to hold the serious look for about a second, but of course it collapsed on itself. He grinned, happy and unrepentant. He was terribly spoiled. No point in denying it.

Chad stretched out on the couch and grinned right back, all white teeth and laughing eyes. His shirt said "Eat Me." Oh, the fun he could have with that one. For now, though, Ryan stayed quiet and just enjoyed the show. Chad tossed his curls and shifted into a more comfortable position. Then shoved a fistful of popcorn in his mouth.

Utterly delicious.

A thought nagged Ryan—all of that drama over the hot car and now Chad didn't even care...because now he'd gotten himself more legroom. Ryan shot him a shrewd glance. It was entirely possible that was the plan all along, what with the way he stretched out some more and sighed happily, attention all on the game.

Ryan ignored the little voice that wondered what else could get him to make that sound. He was all for Chad's machinations, especially when it resulted in his bright red t-shirt stretching tight over his chest.

Ryan licked his lips.

"They make them in that color?" Troy asked from the window. He and the rest of the guys lingered, staring in obvious worship.

Ryan turned to him and refocused on things that were not Chad and his muscles. He needn't have bothered. Troy was practically tonguing the glass. "Had to special order it. I wanted iridescent, but the guy nearly had a heart attack on the spot. Even with that color you'd think I was questioning his manhood."

Chad folded in half in laughter, the rest of the guys whipped their heads around to stare at him in shock, and Ryan bit a tortilla chip primly. God, he loved having friends.

He supposed that was what he should call the group of people he liked to mess with.

***

Ryan's phone started playing "You Think You're a Man." He grinned. "Speaking of Shar's date," he said, then took the call. "Hey, William."

"Oh, my God, I'm never flying commercial again," William declared grandly, like the possibility was a fate worse than death...or at least being forced to set foot in a Wal-Mart.

Ryan smiled appreciatively. "You had a good flight, I'm guessing."

"We were late before we even got on the plane. Then we sat there. For an hour. And there were all these...people. They didn't have Perrier. And they wouldn't serve me any booze!"

"You are such a snob," Ryan informed him.

"Yes, but I'm pretty."

"Your prettiness will only take you so far." Then Ryan perked up. "Think of it this way: you could have been in coach."

A horrified silence. "Now you're just mocking my pain." Yes, Will was definitely sulking. Too bad Ryan couldn't see it; Will was hot when he sulked.

"I'd never do that. I'm the nice one, you know."

Will snorted at that, but didn't declare it a 'blatant lie to perpetrate a fiction' so he must be in a generous mood. "Ry. I'm here." Meaning, 'where are you?'

Ryan rolled his eyes. "So I hear. Mom had them ready the green suite for you. Unpack. That should take a few hours. And don't you have a date tonight? Shouldn't you be getting ready for that?"

"I am and thus I'm calling you. Do you think your sister dearest would like La Casa Sena?"

Ryan rolled back on the carpet so he could stare at the ceiling and stretch out more. He sighed appreciatively. "She loves it. Asks to go there a lot. You have impeccable taste, as always."

"Excellent. Oh, and I brought you a present." Will said this as if he were particularly happy with himself.

Ryan made a pleased sound and shot up. He noticed Chad looking quickly away. "A present? What is it? Can I guess?"

"Not telling. You can have it when I see you."

"Um, you were in Italy. So...a one-of-a-kind hat from Gucci," he guessed anyway. He was met with silence. "A one-of-a-kind hat from Armani?" he tried again.

"Guess you'll just have to find out."

Ryan flopped back again and sulked. It would have been more effective could Will see him. There was a theme developing. "Oh, be that way." The sun just touched the tips of his fingers if he reached for it.

Will laughed, like he could just picture Ryan's expression. "Later, Ry."

"You suck, you—" The click cut him off. 'Bastard,' was what he was going to say. He'd have to tell him later.

Ryan quickly switched to text messaging and typed one out to Shar:

Will brought presents! You must find out what mine is. Like, now.

He sent it off, but once again, the athletes were being very quiet...

"What?" Ryan asked. He raised an eyebrow at them and suddenly everyone got busy. Jason apparently found the spackled ceiling endlessly fascinating.

Actually, that probably shouldn't surprise him. Jason and all.

"Was that Sharpay's date?" Zeke asked, miserable.

"Yep. Bad flight."

Chad scoffed. Troy latched onto the more pertinent part: "He's staying at your house?"

"Yeah," Ryan said obviously. "Why stay at a hotel? He's just gonna be with us all the time anyway."

Zeke scooted forward, half off the love seat. "Hold up. He's sleeping a couple doors down from Sharpay?"

"Uhh, he's probably going to be sleeping with Sharpay. Or didn't you catch the 'tying him to my bed' thing?"

Zeke looked at wits' end. "But—but—what about your parents?"

"Mom's in New York meeting with the money guys and Dad's in Chicago, don't ask me why."

Chad snickered. "Party at Evans' house."

"Whoa. Shar's date is sleeping over at your house with no parental supervision. Awesome," Jason said.

"Not awesome," Zeke shot back. "How could they let him do that?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Jeez, we're 17. We're not going to keel over if someone's not there to hold our hands. And, uhh, Mom may not know about the dating thing. She and Shar talk more about strategy and why it's wrong to destroy people for fun." Loved his family. In so many ways.

Zeke choked on a chip.

"And, really, it's more like a gratuitous sex thing than a dating thing," Ryan mused. Then he leaned back and enjoyed the scene as Troy thumped Zeke on the back—the poor kid still trying to clear his airway—Jason scratched his head, and Chad eyefucked him like there was no tomorrow.

If Chad was gonna keep that up, Ryan might just have to do something about it.

***

Your present is an Italian glass dildo. My shoes don't match!

Ryan quickly hit her back:

Lies!

Shar must have been waiting because the response was again almost instantaneous:

No, they really don't match. It's a travesty!

Ryan made a frustrated noise. "I'm going to kill my sister."

"Finally, you see things my way," Chad said from his lordly perch on the back of the couch. What was he doing up there, anyway, surveying his minions?

Ryan ignored him in favor of his phone.

I meant about the dildo. And you have over 100 pairs. How can they all not match?

"You're just kidding about the whole killing thing...right?" Zeke asked.

Chad punched him in the arm. "Dude, pathetic. She's screwing some other guy. Also, she's a shrew."

"Hey!" Ryan protested.

"Hey!" Zeke protested. Then looked at Ryan. Then focused on Chad again. "Don't talk about her like that." Ryan approved heartily. He might have to draw Shar's attention to this one. She had such a bad habit of not seeing fawning sycophants.

Granted, most of the time, the fawning sycophants deserved to be ignored...but there were always exceptions.

"I'm just sayin' what we all know," Chad reiterated and spread his hands. "And did I mention the other guy part?"

"Yeah, but she's offering him to Ryan, too, so she can't be, like, obsessed with him." Zeke said it like that was the only hope keeping him afloat. Ryan felt a twinge of kinship with Zeke. Maybe he could even nudge Shar in his direction...

"I need to ask Taylor what's a better word for pathetic," Chad grumbled.

Ryan haughtily ignored him and instead reassured Zeke: "I wouldn't worry. She's only sleeping with him because he's hot and dotes on her and is seriously good in bed."

Oddly, Zeke didn't look at all reassured.

"See, that's what I'm talking about. Dude, Ryan's making my point for me," Chad said. Ryan's phone trilled again, which deserved his attention far more than Chad at the moment.

It's a very difficult shade of turquoise! Be helpful!

Which only made him not want to be helpful because wow, could Shar be a—why was Troy was staring at his hands?

"Hey, is that the new iPhone?" Troy asked.

Oh, of course. He should have known. Ryan tilted it. "Yeah. Steve loves my mom, so he gave her a couple."

"Dude, your mom scares me." At the laughter and general ribbing that got, Chad protested: "It's not just me! Taylor always calls her terrifying, too."

Ryan grinned, brilliant. "Where do you think Shar learned it?"

"Can I see it?" Troy asked, still focused on the iPhone. Geeking out over technology. He was such a boy.

He'd have to mention that to Gabi.

"Sure, Troy." And promptly tossed it over.

Troy caught it with an athlete's grace...and then seemed to get what had just happened. "Ryan! You can't throw an iPhone. You can't even buy these things yet."

Jason stuttered out a laugh. "You sound like Gabriella."

That set everybody off. Ryan was glad he had stayed well clear of the jumble of boys on the couch. His hat could have been disturbed in all the rolling and punching and pillow-throwing. Now that would have been a travesty.

***

Ryan sauntered back from the kitchen, mineral water in hand. It wasn't Perrier, but it would do. The guys were all clustered around Troy and the iPhone. Ryan rolled his eyes, but before he could mock them terribly, Jason called out: "Whoa, Sharpay in a bikini."

At that all the guys clustered closer to see—Zeke most enthusiastically, Chad somewhat grudgingly—and Ryan frowned. Maybe he should have taken those off. Not that Shar would care about brutes ogling her half naked body, but it seemed kind of intrusive, given where they were.

"Who's the guy?" Zeke asked, affronted.

"Where were you guys?" Jason asked at the same time.

"That's William and it was his family's estate in Costa Rica. We went for the week before school started."

"That's the guy she's going out with?" Zeke asked.

"His estate?"

"Oh, that's where you were," Chad said. Ryan looked at him oddly.

"Nice," Jason said. Ryan knew just what they were seeing: Will and Shar laughing and playing in the surf, Will picking her up and dunking her under, Shar sitting on top of him in a chaise lounge as she waved her fingers demandingly (though Will simply laughed at her), Ryan and Shar in the Scorpion pose on the beach and backlit by a brilliant sunset, Will on top of Ryan on...

Crap.

The guys all got really quiet at the same time, which was a pretty good indication that they'd gotten to those pictures. Dammit. He knew he should have taken those off.

But they looked so happy and pretty and sunlit and Ryan loved them. This was what he got for his vanity.

It was one thing to know, intellectually, that Ryan liked guys. It was another to see pictures of Will sitting astride him, playing a teasing game of keep-away with Ryan's hat. And Ryan being perfectly happy to play that game.

"Huh. I can't tell which of you this Will guy likes more," Troy commented.

"He's pretty equal-opportunity, actually." One place where Ryan and Shar actually were equals.

They were still scrolling through and Zeke's exhaled, "whoa," was enough to tell him they'd gotten to the last picture.

"Yeah, I covered my eyes and ran away after that one."

The one of Will and Shar in the Jacuzzi, where Will had Shar's head tilted back and nipped at her throat as he untied her bikini top. Lovely lighting and all, but hi, his sister.

"The ones on Shar's phone are way more scandalous," Ryan said after a silent beat. And he wouldn't even mention the video footage...

Zeke made a despairing sound and slumped to the floor.

***

Ryan was on his way to the door. He had been on his way to the door, only he'd apparently been sidetracked, seeing as he was in the laundry room. He wondered if that had any significance.

But, right. Chad pushing him up against things.

...and covering Ryan's mouth with his own, nipping and then licking in when Ryan opened his mouth in shock. Of all the things to happen today—

Ryan pushed that thought away and sank into the kiss, as much as he could while pushed back against the washing machine. Still, he gave it a go and scrabbled at Chad's shirt, pulled him closer, and tried to get more. More of this heat, this wet, this incredible feeling. The others had been nothing like this.

This was fire enough to singe him, mark him permanently. Tongues fighting for dominance, hands tugging at clothes and then under, his hat falling off, bodies writhing against each other like there was nothing between them but sweat and heat and—

"Ohhhh!" The loud whoops and mingled cries hit them like running into a brick wall; all stop. They jerked apart, but just slightly, and stood staring at each other, panting. Ryan still had his fingers twisted in Chad's shirt, still touched skin where he'd pulled it up. He could feel the hand Chad had dangerously low on Ryan's belly, more adventurous than he would have thought.

And fuck, but he was hard. They both were.

Chad didn't seem capable of speech yet. Ryan could kind of relate, but it wasn't like they could stay in this position forever. Someone was going to come looking. Troy. Or his mother.

The shudder that thought produced shook him out of his mental lag and Ryan decided to go with the obvious question:

"What the hell was that?"

The noise made Chad start. Then he pulled away and tugged himself into order while not answering the question. Ryan followed suite, but watched Chad from under his eyelashes. It took Chad far too long considering the tripe he was wearing. And he wouldn't meet Ryan's eyes.

"Chad?" Ryan asked again. He grabbed onto Chad's forearm. Chad didn't brush him off.

"Yeah?" he asked, too casual by half.

"You go around doing that to all your friends? There something I should know about you and Troy?"

"No!" Chad sounded like Ryan had scandalized him. Heh. "We thought you were kidding!" Chad hissed.

"About..."

Chad waved a hand, encompassing Ryan, the universe, who knew? "You know." In that tone.

Ryan rolled his eyes. Oh, for God's sake. "I wear pink, sparkly hats. All the time," he said obviously. "Singing, dancing, love my mother. Did I miss a stereotype?"

"Yeah, but that's just...you." Apparently Chad was having trouble with this, too, because he didn't even seem to believe what he was saying.

"So to prove yourself wrong you decided to jump me in the laundry room?" Not that he necessarily minded, of course.

Chad immediately ducked his head. His curls touched his cheekbones. "It wasn't like that," he mumbled.

"Then what was it like?" Ryan pressed.

"Just—you with that guy—"

"Will."

Chad's eyes flew to him, like he hadn't expected Ryan to say it out loud. "Yeah. And then...those pictures. And, um..."

Ryan's smile grew and he scooted in a little closer, turned to push Chad back, and then settled his arms on either side of him. Personal space only applied before sticking your tongue in someone's mouth, he was pretty sure. That should be a rule, anyway. "One more question for you," Ryan said, low and intimate. "Do I make you horny, baby?" he asked, doing his best Austin Powers impression.

Chad shoved him the meager distance he could, but he was grinning again. "Shut it, Evans."

Ryan pulled him closer and rubbed up against the still-present erection. "Oh, I can think of much more productive things we could be doing with our mouths."

Chad's eyes kind of glazed over then and Ryan pressed his hand to the front of Chad's jeans. His hips jerked.

Then Ryan's phone rang. Oh, yeah. On the way to the door. For a reason.

"Not that I wouldn't love to continue this..." he said regretfully. Really regretfully, given where his hand was.

Chad blinked a couple times. "Huh?"

"Sister. Date. Ringing any bells?" Oh, but Chad smelled incredible. Ryan leaned closer, nuzzled his neck. It was possible he was giving mixed signals here.

"You're leaving?"

He pulled back and nodded. "That was my general plan, yes. Shar's useless when she's like this."

Chad bucked his hips again. "But...you're leaving me like this?" Then he thrust into Ryan's hand, deliberate.

Ryan blinked. "Are you accusing me of being a tease?"

Chad was too busy grinding against Ryan to pay him much attention. But such an offense to his honor—

Ryan stilled Chad's hips with his hands and then dropped to his knees. "I'd just like to say that I'm only doing this to maintain my honor."

"Maintain your—who talks like—" But he stuttered to a stop when Ryan unceremoniously unbuttoned and unzipped him, and then mouthed the head of his very hard cock through his boxers. "Fuck," Chad hissed. "Fuck—Ry—God." His hands cradled Ryan's head, no pressure at all, and Ryan freed his cock from the confines of his boxers and went to town.

The feeling of Ryan's mouth on his dick must have shocked some sense into him because Chad's hands fisted in his hair. "Can't—can't do this—oh, my God—here," he bit out.

Ryan tongued just below the head of Chad's cock and that pretty much shut him up. Mostly because he had stuffed one of his fists in his mouth to keep from keening or wailing or something and bringing in the cavalry. Also known as the group of rowdy boys on Troy's living room couch.

Ryan bobbed his head down and up, down and up, and on the third time he ran his tongue around the head of Chad's cock again and that was it.

Chad made a low, strangled sound, his hips jerked, body shook, and Ryan was swallowing and swallowing and swallowing until only shudders wracked Chad's body. He looked fit to slump to the floor, curl up there, and die a happy man.

Yeah, Ryan was just that good.

Chad touched Ryan's mouth with shaking fingers, a beat, and then Ryan was pulled up into a kiss...and Chad wasn't shying away from the taste.

Oh, hell yes. This held promise.

Chad enthusiastically tangled their tongues and then palmed his hand over Ryan's dick. Ryan moaned, quiet as he could, and by then Chad had opened his pants, reached in and ran his hand down and around Ryan's cock.

Damn. Promise, indeed.

And suddenly it hit him how hard he was and good this felt and how much he wanted. Chad's hand couldn't seem to get the angle right, so Ryan reached down and guided him, faster and harder, then panted into Chad's mouth. Chad, who was giving him a handjob, when the best Ryan had ever hoped for was some eye candy. It was like the best kind of porn...only this was real.

Because that was definitely Chad's palm rubbing over the head of his cock and making everything a little hazy. Ryan shuddered on the next upstroke and vowed to do this as often as humanly possible.

"Gorgeous," he said into Chad's mouth. "I'm going to suck you, and fuck you, and lick you all over. Gonna make you forget your own name while you—God—scream mine."

Chad made a low, pained sound and then gasped in a breath. "Dude, it's too soon to get hard again. Hurts."

Ryan moved their hands faster as he gasped in air. God, so close. "Gonna make you like it—"

"Too late."

Chad twisted his hand on the next upstroke, bit Ryan's lip, and Ryan was flying, coming like he hadn't—ever—the world going white and fuzzy around him. The tiny part of him not shattering into brilliant slivers of bliss heard Chad suck in a breath and whisper "so hot."

And Ryan came and came and just when he thought it was too good, that nothing this perfect was possible outside a fantasy, he came down, breathing hard and fast and slumped against Chad.

"Fuck," he breathed. Because he'd had a number of handjobs and none of them had ever left him boneless and weak and wanting. Particularly not those from blushing virgins.

Chad murmured appreciatively, stroked him until he hissed. Then kissed Ryan until he didn't care.

Ryan broke the kiss to get some air, and he kind of resented that, but maybe less so when Chad was nipping at his neck and whispering "so hot" again. He stroked Ryan once more for good measure, then brought his hand up and licked over it messily.

Ryan followed Chad's tongue back into his mouth, tasting himself and Chad and the unimaginable amounts of sex they'd be having. "Want you dirty," he breathed and bit at Chad's tongue.

"Anything—anything you want," Chad said, shaky.

"Fuck, we're never gonna get out of here." And Ryan was perfectly happy with that, perfectly okay to live out his life fucking Chad in a laundry room, the rest of the world be damned.

He was in so much trouble.

"Want you," Chad grunted and pulled him closer. Ryan caught himself on the edge of the washing machine—

And right—fuck—laundry room.

His phone rang again.

Ryan broke away and actually pulled back this time. He ignored Chad's whine and attempt to follow, instead focusing on a breathing exercise to calm himself down. He dodged Chad a second time, which apparently got across the idea that Ryan was serious.

Chad grabbed something to clean them up with and Ryan had to grip the other boy's wrist when it quickly devolved into another grope session. "Later," he pleaded. Because right, Shar was probably having an apoplectic fit. "Shar and Will leave at 5:30. Come by at 6?"

"Yeah." Chad tossed the t-shirt back into the dirty pile; poor, poor Troy if his mom ever noticed what was all over that one.

Ryan pulled himself together as best he could and hoped Shar was too far gone to notice the wrinkled, rumpled, slightly come-stained mess he was. He grinned at the thought.

Chad grinned right back and Ryan had to drag him back into a lingering, sloppy kiss, hands curled into Chad's hair. He just had to.

Not that Chad complained or anything. But when Ryan finally pulled back, Chad held him there, wouldn't let him go any further.

Ryan raised an eyebrow.

"About Will," he started. Then didn't seem to know where to go, seeing as he looked away and kinda shook his head.

"Yeah..." Ryan prompted.

Chad raised his head and pinned him with that look. "I don't share," he said shortly. His fingers flexed against Ryan's body.

Ryan grinned, bright. "Good." He ran his fingers over Chad's cheek and kissed him again, just a hint of teeth. "6. Gonna make you fall apart."

Then he pulled away, grabbed his hat, and walked out because if he didn't, he really never would.

He waved vaguely to the guys at their shouted goodbyes and heard Troy's "hey, where's Chad?" just before he shut the door behind him. He grinned and got himself moving.

He had debauchery to plan.

***

Fin.