When people face the end they are usually in such a bad state that they later describe it as being in a fog, that they weren't thinking clearly. But as I look around everything was crystal clear.
The wind was chilly and I brought my coat collar closer, covering the bare skin of my neck. I did up my coat searching for some kind of warmth. Not that it would matter soon anyway.
But thinking back to the warmth, isn't that what everyone was searching for? The warmth of another person, the warmth of love. The kind of warmth that makes your skin tingle like when you stand in the sun.
I hadn't felt the warmth in a long time I mused as I shifted my weight to my other foot.
I took a deep breath in and the crisp morning air was almost a comfort, if I could even be comforted anymore. The sun started to peak over the horizon, illuminating everything in a dull glow, making the water below seem less dark and intimidating. The water in this light seemed much more inviting. I would have smiled at the sun as it too tried to comfort me in my final moments, but I didn't smile anymore.
I let out a yawn that seemed too big to come from my body. The shrunken and damaged body that I had neglected too much.
I'm sure my family wouldn't even be able to recognize me anymore, hell when I looked in a mirror I couldn't even recognize who I had become. I avoided mirrors for that reason alone, I wasn't myself anymore and it scared me.
The body made of skin and bone like everyone else, with a heart that had been broken for far too long, but still manages to beat somehow. Soon it won't though, soon it wouldn't have to beat painfully anymore. Soon I could rest, be pain free and finally at peace.
"Soon" I promised into the cold air.
"Hey what are you doing?" A voice called out breaking the silence. I turn my head to see a boy around my age with bluer eyes than the water below, yet they are equally inviting.
"Are you okay?" The boy asks with a worried expression as the wind blows his fringe into his eyes.
Was I okay? No I don't think so. But I couldn't remember even what 'okay' was anymore. I looked away from the blue eyed stranger and sighed.
"Just enjoying the view" I said quietly, my voice gruff from the lack of use. I was hoping the boy would just leave, I had already wasted enough time.
But instead of leaving the boy just climbed onto the railing and stood next to me. "The view is pretty great" the boy agreed. I gave him an incredulous look, could he not take a hint?
He turned and looked at me and did something that surprised me, he smiled.
"Louis" he said, I assumed that was his name.
"No one important" I replied, he gave me a puzzled look.
"Well that's a mouthful so I'm just going to call you Harry" he stated and I looked at him shocked how did he know my name.
"I work at the coffee shop on the corner" he shrugged and looked back at the rising sun. I couldn't take my eyes off him though. I don't think I've ever paid that much attention to the people that worked there, I go there at least once a day though. I don't think I've ever seen Louis before, I would have remembered his eyes. The question was though, why did he remember me?
I don't know how long I was staring when he finally spoke up "you know if you jump, I'll jump right in after you" he said looking at me. I stared wide eyed. How was I suppose to respond to that.
"You're much too important to be lying in a box forever" he stated "much too pretty too" he mused.
What was with this stranger, why was he doing this, why was he saying this, why now.
"I bet your mind is an awfully confusing dark place right now" he said, his eyes filling with sympathy. I nodded, I was very confused right now.
Louis smiled sadly "how about you come back to my place, I'll make some tea, and we can warm up" he suggested.
"You can tell me everything that's happening under those curls" Louis smirked and reached out to touch the mass of hair that sat atop my head.
Why was he being so nice, I didn't deserve this at all.
What he did next surprised me even more, Louis let his hand drop from my hair and grabbed my hand. He gave it a gently squeeze and I was shocked. My hand suddenly felt warm, warmer than I had felt in a long time, and it felt good.
Louis stepped down from the edge of the bridge and tugged my hand silently telling me to follow suit. I did, I stepped down from the ledge that was suppose to be where I took my last stand.
I was just so confused, but the warmth in my hand was reassuring, a source of guidence, something to level my head out. When both feet were on the ground I was engulfed in a hug.
"I thought you were actually going to do it" Louis said clinging to me "I thought I was going to have to watch you die" he voice caught. He hugged me tighter as he started to cry, his tears falling on my jacket. I didn't know what was happening, or why he cared, but it was warm.
An unfamiliar warmth started to spread across my skin. I slowly wrapped my arms around Louis and was surprised to feel my own eyes tear up. Louis squeezed me tighter as he felt my tears drip onto his neck.
The sun had risen bathing the bridge in its light. The water below silent, no longer inviting. The only sounds in the quiet morning were coming from mine and Louis's soft cries.
I didn't know what was going to happen next or if everything was going to be okay but at this moment I was warm.
The warmth comforted me, soothed me and told me to trust the boy who had gotten me down off the ledge, the boy who had given me his warmth.