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We Are So (Not) Married

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Hizashi was going to kill Shouta because Shouta was stupid and Hizashi was out of his mind with worry and if Shouta was already dead Hizashi was going to drag him from hell to kill him again.

One might argue that Hizashi was being a bit overdramatic, but in his mind he was in the right because honestly.

Shouta had gone two whole days without sleeping due to a wild group running rampant and even though Hizashi had asked him to call him if he needed help Shouta had gone against eleven of these drug-enhanced maniacs while severely exhausted and holy shit Hizashi was seriously going to kill him if he didn’t die first from a heart attack.

He’d barely caught a glimpse of Shouta before he was being carried away on a stretcher, which had only caused his fear and panic to skyrocket.

The paramedics in the hospital hall had tried to get him to calm down, but absolutely nothing could stop Hizashi when he was worried and anxious like this. There were about seven of them, all forming a sort of wall to prevent Hizashi from dashing to see Shouta. The paramedics were surprisingly strong, but Hizashi wasn't really appreciating it at that moment.

“Sir,” a tall woman stressed, pressing her hands against him to keep him from bolting down the hall, “Only family and spouse, please.”

Hizashi was only half-listening, still struggling against them as he watched several of the nurses that had taken Shouta to the hospital group around a doctor. Within moments the nurses were all sprinting into several different directions while the doctor hastily made his way down the hall, only increasing Hizashi’s worry.

Shit, that wasn’t good, was it?! Hizashi had never really been in hospitals, usually trusting things to Recovery Girl, so he had next to no idea how they were supposed to work.

“Sir, are you family?” The woman asked once again, but Hizashi didn’t really care to listen to her. He was decked out in his civilian clothes, so she probably didn’t recognize him, but maybe he could pull the hero card to get them to let him through.

“No, no, I’m not!” Hizashi shoved against her roughly, mind filled with worst-case scenarios the more he watched the fast-paced movements of the hospital staff.  “I’m--I’m Present Mic, a pro hero, can’t you let me through--I just--”

She was talking more but Hizashi’s panic soared to new heights when he saw a nurse carrying Shouta’s bloodstained scarf away from his room, probably for sanitary reasons, Hizashi tried telling himself, but common sense was far gone and he gave a weak “Yes, yes, I--yes!” when the woman continued talking, just wanting to get to Shouta--

To his surprise the paramedics relented and he stumbled forward before regaining his balance, pressing his hand against the wall to straighten up. Taking a moment to regain himself, Hizashi then tore down the hallway towards the room he’d seen Shouta be taken into, nearly sliding across the shiny floor.

Shouta was staring up at the ceiling, left arm and neck bandaged and with a few scrapes across his face. His ankle was in a brace and he looked ready to pass out at any moment but he was alive and safe and holy shit, Hizashi was probably going to need a hospital room of his own at this point.

It took all of Hizashi’s willpower to prevent himself from racing to Shouta’s side and burying his face in his neck and crying and also maybe hitting him.

“Mic...” Shouta grunted when he spotted Hizashi standing in the doorway, still silent as he tried to compose himself. “You are. So loud.”

Hizashi stalked across the room, half wanting to punch Shouta as hard as he could because he was a big stupid idiot and half feeling like he was going to start crying soon--but there was a nurse present and he had an image to keep up.

The two stared at each other for several long moments--Hizashi felt as if all his energy had been drained from his being, but Shouta looked even worse, congealed blood in his hair, and his ankle still looked vaguely twisted despite the brace. Hizashi wanted to speak but felt like if he did he’d start crying and/or screaming so loudly that the poor nurse’s ears would start bleeding and everyone outside the room would get a mild headache.

The most he could do was stare, still reveling in the fact that Shouta looked okay, he looked fine and he wasn’t on the brink of death or anything.

Finally, Shouta cleared his throat, gesturing to a few chairs beside his hospital bed, and Hizashi collapsed into one with a heavy sigh. The nurse looked up from where he was preparing an IV bag but soon glanced away.

The silence continued for several more seconds until Shouta sighed and said,

“You’re supposed to start talking and yelling at me right about now.”

“You’re right,” Hizashi said, flinching when his voice cracked. “I’m going to do that later though. I’ve had enough of yelling today.”

“Never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“Shut up.” Hizashi brought his hands up to rub at his eyes, already feeling them get wet with tears, voice straining. “I thought--I was gonna--Jesus christ, Shouta, you fucking jerk!”

Forget keeping up an image, he was starting to bawl as tiredness wracked his body, all worst-case scenarios darting out of his mind and leaving behind only overwhelming relief. Hizashi scooted his chair closer to punch Shouta in the shoulder, but he missed and hit the pillow instead. Shouta said something but Hizashi was sobbing so much and just so, so tired that the most he could do was lay his head down beside Shouta and continue crying. He felt like he’d run a ten-mile marathon while also experiencing jet lag.

This wasn’t the first time in their hero career that one of them had been injured enough to be taken to a hospital, but so soon after the USJ incident...Hizashi hadn’t known what exactly had happened to Shouta and where he’d been and he’d thought for a few scary seconds that he’d lose his best friend even though they both had so much to do together like go bar-hopping on Shouta’s birthday which was in a few months and also Hizashi was going to suggest moving in with each other because he hardly spent time at his own apartment anyways and--

“Stop worrying so much,” Shouta sighed, voice heavy and deep with exhaustion. “‘M alright, Hizashi.”

“No you’re not,” Hizashi said back. “You’re all bandaged up.”

“I’ve had worse.”

“You shouldn’t have had worse.” Hizashi raised his hand to punch weakly at Shouta again. “This kinda stuff shouldn’t happen, why didn’t you--fuck, Shouta, I care about you and if you just--”

If you died....

“I’d probably die too,” Hizashi whispered.

“You’re so dramatic.” Shouta’s voice was flat and tired, and despite his injuries he moved a bit to the side, leaving more room for Hizashi. “Just...Relax. You’re probably more stressed than I am right now.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Hizashi grumbled, rubbing at his eyes again to brush the wetness out of them.

“Yours.”

“Oh, shut up.” Hizashi couldn’t help but smile a bit. “I hate you.”

He didn’t stop crying, but he felt much more at ease talking with Shouta. He felt fingers thread into his hair for a few brief seconds before they withdrew, and he relaxed with his head buried in his arms.

Hizashi wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but when he woke up it was because of a hand gently shaking his shoulder. He needed to fill out paperwork as Shouta’s emergency contact and then they could be released because Shouta’s injuries weren’t severe. Shouta was asleep too, so Hizashi got up as silently as he could. The nurse who had woken him up was the same nurse from earlier, and cleared his throat when Hizashi spent a little too long staring down at Shouta and his injuries.

“You can fill them out here or in the waiting room,” the nurse said, handing Hizashi a clipboard.

Several hours of mind-numbingly boring paperwork later and an assurance from Shouta’s hero agency that their insurance would cover most of the hospital fee, Hizashi was helping Shouta into the passenger seat of his car.

(Shouta had said he was fine but Hizashi wasn’t going to listen to anything he had to say for a whole day. Nope.)

“You’re lucky it’s a Sunday because now I get to force you to lie down and eat junk food in front of my TV,” Hizashi said, starting the car after leaving the hospital, Shouta's folded and dirty hero clothes in the back seat of his car. Shouta himself was slumped against the passenger side window, looking exhausted.

“No.”

“You’re gonna relax, Shouta. There’s no backing out of it. I’ll be at your beck and call.”

Shouta raised his bandaged arm with annoyance. “I’m not that badly hurt.”

Hizashi didn’t believe Shouta. He was always one to downplay his own pain whenever he got injured so people weren’t fretting over him, which honestly kind of pissed Hizashi off. He’d been like that ever since high school, and while it had sort of bothered him before, when he started developing this godforsaken crush on Shouta, it felt like a blow to the stomach. Shouta should care for himself more and it really pained Hizashi that he didn’t.

Shouta protested staying at Hizashi’s apartment, insisting he didn’t need any help, but Hizashi was having absolutely none of that. He helped the other man into the elevator and promised that he’d stop by Shouta’s apartment to gather whatever he needed, but for now they needed to rest. When Hizashi mentioned taking a nap Shouta quieted considerably. While they waited for the elevator to arrive at Hizashi’s floor Shouta leaned heavily against him, eyes closing.

“Don’t go to sleep on me.”

Shouta hummed in response but made no move to straighten up. The elevator dinged but Shouta was still against him, so Hizashi sighed and bent his knees so he could carry Shouta on his back.

“Home sweet home,” Hizashi announced, kicking the door open and wincing when the doorknob slammed into the wall. “Yeah, I’ve got to stop doing that.”

Shouta snorted. “Start going through doors like a normal person.”

“But that ain’t as dramatic!” Hizashi whined, dragging Shouta across the threshold. “I’m all for flair and flashiness, and what’s a better way than kicking the door open and announcing my presence?!”

“I’m going to sleep,” Shouta sighed, and Hizashi pouted. He’d wanted to talk about the whole incident and beg for Shouta to actually call him when he needed help, but that would have to wait. Shouta needed some rest for his injuries and staying awake for well over forty-eight hours.

They laid down on Hizashi’s bed after Shouta had taken some Ibuprofen for his headache, which he said was a result of Hizashi’s loudness but Hizashi thought that was ridiculous.

Hizashi’s bed wasn’t particularly soft and he didn’t absolutely love it, but he did whenever he shared it with Shouta. Shouta was a walking human furnace (with cold hands and feet) so blankets were deemed unnecessary whenever Shouta spent the night. Hizashi tended to take up the entire bed by himself with his limbs all spread out like a starfish, but whenever he slept with someone else he usually latched onto them, and Shouta was aware of this fact and didn’t complain whenever Hizashi woke up half on top of him.

(Hizashi might have taken advantage of that once and snuggled against Shouta’s back when he fell asleep but he had felt so awful about it that he couldn’t look Shouta in the eyes for three days.)

“What time is it?” Shouta asked, and Hizashi glanced to the clock on his left.

“Almost four in the afternoon.”

Shouta groaned and rolled onto his side, his back to Hizashi. “Don’t wake me up until morning.”

Normally Hizashi would protest that that was too long, but considering how long Shouta had been battling exhaustion he thought it was rather well-deserved. He fell asleep looking at the soft waves of Shouta’s hair as his own emotional exhaustion caught up with him.


 Hizashi was woken by his phone, ringing loudly in his pocket and vibrating so hard he was sure his entire bed was shaking. With a groan he sat up, rubbing at his eyes for a moment before digging it out and squinting to see who was calling him. It was nine, which wasn’t unreasonable, but he’d been hoping to sleep for a bit longer.

Nemuri was calling him for whatever reason, probably to go out clubbing, but he had a priority right now and clubbing would have to wait.

“Yo,” Hizashi answered with a yawn. “I’m not in the mood for dirty dancing, so--”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TWO TELL ME YOU GOT HITCHED?!” Nemuri shrieked from the other end, and Hizashi winced, mind clouded with confusion and sleepiness. “THIS IS BETRAYAL OF THE HIGHEST TIER, HIZASHI!”

Hizashi would’ve yelled back, but Shouta was still sleeping. “Shh! What the hell are you talking about?!”

“YOU! GOT! MARRIED!” Hizashi could practically hear her jumping up and down. “I’M SUCH A PROUD BIG SIS-!"

Hizashi literally had no idea what the fuck she was talking about and was ready to hang up if all she was going to do was scream nonsense. However, when his finger hovered over the ‘end call’ button, he noticed that he had over a hundred emails and texts and other sorts of notifications. It wasn’t very unusual, but these sort of things only happened when Hizashi made big announcements on his radio show, and he hadn’t made any recently.

Frowning, Hizashi brought his phone back up to his ear.

“Who got married?”

“Don’t play dumb! I know, it’s all over the news, so don’t think you can lie to me," Nemuri said, and Hizashi only felt his confusion grow. “Here, I’ll send you an article.”

She hung up on him, which gave him time to sift through his other notifications. About 90% of the text messages he’d received were from Tensei, whose messages were something like:

Tensei: Oh my god

Tensei: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU FUCKERS GOT MARRIED AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT

Tensei: !!!! When did this happen I wish I was best man

Tensei: VISIT ME PLEASE

Tensei: I’m so happy for both of you!!!!

Tensei: YOU ASSHOLES

This format was repeated for about sixty more messages. Hizashi only grew more and more confused as he continued scrolling through his messages, some from his production team for his radio show and from people he personally knew, as well as several from people he didn’t know--mostly news sources and reporters, it seemed.

Slowly, Hizashi began to realize what was going on. Googling ‘Present Mic’ brought up many recent results, mostly news stories, some blog posts, even a speculating video or two.

And all of them had seemed to have come to the conclusion that he and Shouta were married.

He received a link to a news article from Nemuri and read it hesitantly, still a bit unsure on how, exactly, the entirety of Japan came to this conclusion. Just reading the opening statement of the article, however, he already knew what it was going to say.

  The nation is in shock and awe after this morning, as a stunning announcement was made.

  At 9:12 Shouta Aizawa was admitted to Jutendo Hospital due to hero-related injuries and the Voice Hero, Present Mic (also known as Hizashi Yamada) arrived to visit him. When asked by paramedics his relation to Aizawa, Yamada stated that he was married to him, thus shocking many of the staff.

 It was only a short statement, but one of the staff tweeted about it and it was backed up by other staff members--including nurse Tomohiko Koizumi, who was in the room when Yamada arrived to be at Aizawa’s side.

 “There was lots of crying involved,” Koizumi tells Hero Daily reporter Eto Matsukawa. “Present Mic fell asleep after they did some talking--I didn’t listen ‘cause I’m not that kind of person--and our patient stroked his head and everything. Pretty romantic if you ask me.”

  Koizumi doesn’t seem to recognize the name Shouta Aizawa (in fact, he’d forgotten it until Matsukawa mentioned it), but he cannot be blamed. Shouta Aizawa is an underground hero known as Eraserhead, slowly gaining more recognition after the USJ incident at Yuuei and the kidnapping of one of Yuuei’s students, but he is still widely unknown.

 Those who do know, however, have raised quite an uproar--with the reveal that two heroes are in a homosexual relationship (married, no less!) and both are teaching young and upcoming heroes, tons and tons of controversy has been brought to life.

  There are many supporters of the relationship, most notably being--

Masaki Mizushima (the Normal Hero, Manual) tweeting: “Wow!!! So happy to hear that sorta news these days!!! They’ve got my support!”

Junko Kageyama of the comedy talkshow, Junko, stated: “Well I’m super gay, so it’s nice to know there’s some heroes out there as gay as me.”

Tensei Iida (former Turbo Hero, Ingenium) tweeting: “THOSE [omitted] SHOULD’VE TOLD ME WHEN THEY [omitted] PROPOSED OH MY GOD THIS IS [omitted] GREAT”

(Related article: Fans of former Turbo Hero Ingenium fear his account was hacked due to the unusual use of all-capital letters and swearwords.)

 However, with the supporters, there are also retractors, as there are always bound to be--

Takashi Konata of The Japanese Insider states that it’s “kind of weird and not in a good way.”

Grace Sanguu, co-founder of The Japanese Parent’s Association released a lengthy statement that said, in summary, they were concerned about the fact that two homosexuals are teaching young and impressionable heroes and she expresses fear that their ‘ideals’ will spread to their children.

Yuuma Ichikawa (the Noodle Hero, Udon Man) tweeting: “idk man never really liked present mic but this is the cherry on top :/”

Hizashi was unable to finish the article and tossed his phone to the side, breathing heavily. Holy shit.

How the fuck was he supposed to explain this to Shouta?

And how was he going to explain to the media that this was all a misunderstanding?!