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“This.” Natasha handed Tony something in a dark red, and something else in pale blue. “Wear this .” She took another sip of her champagne, which was really half the reason she even shopped at this store. A glass of champagne as you browse the lace and silk and satin lingerie in the intimate little shop.

“Um, Nat.” Tony held up the two hangars, raising his eyebrows. “I will admit to being new to this whole, lingerie thing? But baby girl there’s literally nothing here.”

“Nonsense.” Natasha pushed her hair off her shoulder and grinned a little wickedly. “This is the top.” she slid her fingers through the lace. “And this is the bottom.”

“No.” Tony shook his head. “This is a string.”

“It's a thong , Tony.”

“It's a string , Natasha!” Tony retorted and she giggled--legitimately giggled at him.

“Tony. Just-- okay, you obviously can't try on the bottom, but please just try on the top. I think the red will be so pretty on you and Bucky wears red all the damn time. And that pale blue will make Steve's perfectly shaped head explode.” She giggled again, tipping her glass up to empty it and taking the mostly full glass from Tony's hand. “I'll take this. You go try things on.”

“Okay. So red for Bucky, blue for Steve. So what do I wear if I want them both drooling over me at the same time?”

“Ah.” Tasha rifled through the lingerie rack in front of them. “ This .” She held up something black and skimpy with a triumphant smile.

“I don't even know what that is.” Tony said, his eyes a little wide and Natasha sighed.

“So you know when I wear those little dresses you boys all like so much?”

“Oh my god, like the leopard one you wore at my birthday?” Tony groaned a little. “Nat that killed me. Killed me. I'm dating two super soldiers, and I would still just--” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Anyway. Leopard dress.”

“It's alright, Tony.” She winked. “I wear those dresses for a reason. And I wear stockings under all those dresses, remember?”

“No.” Tony shook his head. “No, honey, my eyes stop moving when they land on that ass of yours.” He took the champagne from her and drank it quickly. “Explain this little...this little thing. Keep going.”

“Alright, well I always wear stockings. And this--- ” she held up the little black item. “is holding my stockings up.”

“How?” Tony was eyeing her suspiciously.

“Sits low on my waist like this.” she rested her hands on her trim waist. “Cuts off about here.” she drew a line around the fullest part of her ass and Tony raised an eyebrow in interest. “These hook to thigh highs.”

“So you take off the dress and you're wearing nothing but thigh highs and--and--that.”


She watched him for a minute, all the expressions crossing his face as he thought it through.

“So I under my suit pants?”


“And then step out of my pants and--”




“And something like this up top?”

“Or just an unbuttoned dress shirt out of one of the guys closets.”

“So do all girls know how to do tricks like this?”

“No, Tony, I'm special.”

“Clints a lucky man.”

“Yes. Yes he is.”


“Tony. Let me see!” Natasha knocked on the door of the changing room. “Let me see!”

“Abso- fucking -lutely not. No way. There is no way I am going to--- goddammit Nat did you have to pick the lock? You couldn't have respected a locked door just once?”

“Of course not.” she shook her head. “Why would I ever respect a locked door? Oh Tony, that is beautiful .”

“It's ridiculous.” Tony shook his head and folded his arms over his chest.

“Let me see.” Natasha pulled his arms down impatiently, and tugged on the little top so it sat on him correctly. “Oh no. No the guys are going to lose their minds. Look how pretty you are right now.” She scratched her nails over his chest lightly.

“Tony, I'm almost jealous the boys get to see you in this. This should stay just between you and I. I'll get one too and we can paint our nails and watch spy movies together.”

“You have obviously had too much champagne.”  Tony laughed and pushed her away. “So the dark pink?”

“And the red and the pale blue. Yes.”

“Alright.” Tony grinned a little. “But this is all sweet stuff. Like lacey and pretty and--”

And ?” She prompted.

“And I want them to maybe not be sweet with me?” Tony said slowly and Natasha bit at her bottom lip.

“Ah. Well then. Let me take you to my other favorite store.”


“This store does not serve champagne.” Tony stated , and Natasha, who was still maybe the tiniest bit tipsy, shook her head.

“No, Tony, if this store was going to serve anything, it would be shots of tequila.”

“I...concur.” Tony glanced up at, and then instantly away from the outfit on display in the window and Natasha had to keep herself from laughing out loud.

“Come on.” Natasha tugged on him. “You said you want them to lose their minds, right? Let's put you in something leather and black and ooh!” she held up a pair of handcuffs. “And these . Let's put you in these.”

“I am terrified of you right now.” Tony said laughing and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Handcuffs? Leather? Clint is a brave man to handcuff you down.”

“Who says I'm the one being handcuffed?” Natasha asked absentmindedly as she ran her fingers lightly over a riding crop. “You don't think Clint likes being tied down?”

Tony just stared. Just...stared. And Natasha licked her lips and smacked the riding crop in her palm.

“I am terrified of you right now.” Tony repeated. “And sort of jealous of what happens in your bedroom.”

“Oh, it hardly ever happens in our bedroom.” Natasha grinned and smacked the crop again and Tony jumped.

“I love you.”

“I know.” she tossed the riding crop aside and crossed her arms. “So. Let’s find something amazing for you.”

“Thanks for doing this with me, Tasha.” Tony said. “Um, riding crops and awkward mental images of Clint aside...thank you.”

“You're my best friend Tony.” she pressed a kiss to his temple. “I will do whatever it takes to get you laid.”

“So do I get to watch you try on things this time?” Tony held up a corset and wiggled his eyebrows. “I feel like that's only fair since you saw me in my delicates last time.”

“You know?” Tasha grabbed his hand and dragged him further into the store. “If I would have had one more glass of champagne, I would absolutely let you watch me try on something with leather and buckles.”

Tony stumbled to a stop, his mouth wide open. “Tash. You're killing me.”

“Tony.” Natasha looped her arms around his neck and lay another kiss on him, this time on his lips. “You're my best friend . But you are never seeing me in something in this store. I was kidding. No amount of alcohol will change that you will never see me naked. Or almost naked.”

“When did we become best friends?” Tony pushed her away playfully and started rifling through the outfits.

“What are you talking about Tony? We've been best friends for forever.”

“You stabbed me one time. I tried to take an egg roll from your plate and you literally stabbed me with a fork.”

“In a loving best friend type of way.” She countered and Tony rolled his eyes and then was instantly distacted.

“Hey wait.” He held up something cautiously. “What about… this? It's strappy know. Has holes in it.”

“Oh.” Nats eyes widened. “Tony, they will not get their pants off in time if you wear that.”

“Like under a regular outfit, right? Just casual top and jeans and then when I bend over--”

“Or I could spill water on your white t shirt--”

“And they would see--”

“Buy it.” Tasha demanded. “Right now. In the cart.”

“In the cart.” Tony repeated and dropped it in.

“Maybe get me one too.” She suggested and pulled the same outfit out in a dark green.

“Oh hell yeah, bestie. Is that velvet?”

“Yep. Yours is black and leather?”

“I think that's...” Tony blushed a little and rubbed his neck. “Do you think they will like it?”

“Do you know what it reminds me of?” Natasha was pulling handfuls of panties off the tables and tossing them in the basket. “That bondage type vest with all the straps that Bucky wears on missions. When Cap wears his stealth suit?”

“Oh!” Tony laughed. “ Yes. That stealth suit is just… man I love that. And fuck me , that fucking bondage vest. And then they both get all pissy and dangerous and do that murder strut? Slays me.”

“Sorry, did you say murder strut?” Natasha stopped walking and pointed a finger at him. “Murder strut. That's what you said.”

“Yeah.” Tony held up a pair of crotchless panties. “These seem like a bad idea. Anyway. You know what I'm talking about? The murder strut? They kind of scowl and stomp and do this hip sway thing as they walk towards whoever the hell they are about to kill. Murder strut.” He sent her a weird look. “You guys don't call it that?”

“So you fangirl out over the way your boyfriends walk?”

“You don't like how Clint walks?”

“Well--” Natasha thought for a moment. “I like when he walks in those tight black pants. Shoots arrows in that ridiculous tight t shirt. And have you seen him do lunges? Good lord.”

“So yeah.” Tony handed her a half cup bralette. “Maybe you don't tease me about getting off to my boyfriend's murder walks, and try and shove those boobies of yours into that. Why would anyone wear this anyway? Why would you--”

Tasha pressed the bralette to her chest and looked down and then back up at Tony.

“Ah. So. Just barely covers the nipples. Leaving them open for… playing.”


“Not the worst idea.”

“Not the worst.”

“Maybe more fun for people with boobs though, huh?”

“You boys don't do any nipple play?”

“I'm gonna say no.”

“Get one. And get one for me.”

“In green?”

“Purple. Clint loves when I wear purple.”

“Yeah I bet.” Tony tossed one for her in the basket as well. “So what now?”

“Toys.” Natasha slipped her arm through his. “Vibrators and whips and--”

“Easy, Widow.” Tony grinned. “I want to encourage them, not scare them.”

“What about lipstick, then?” She suggested.

“Why lipstick? I mean lingerie and this stuff can be hidden but lipstick is--”

“Guys like those red rings around their dicks. Lip marks after a blow job, you know?” Natasha interrupted.

“That was so crude.” Tony managed to look shocked.

“But true.” She pointed out.

“That was so true.” Tony tapped his lips. “So. Red?”


“Fire engine red?”

“Ferrari red.”

“Nat. I love you.”

“I know Tony. I love you too.”



Clint was watching Die Hard (again) with Bucky and Steve when Tony and Nat finally made it back to the tower, stumbling over their feet a little after stopping for a post shopping drink at their favorite little martini bar.

“Hey baby!” Clint hollered, not even looking up from the movie. “Where you been? I'm lonely.”

“I've been shopping.” She called back and sent Tony a wink. “At Lexi’s. Then we made a stop off at Bound. Bought a few things.” She held up her bags to show him.

“Well then.” Clint stood to his feet and shot a look at both the soldiers. “This has been fun but um..yep. I'm out guys. Enjoy the movie, alright? Natasha. Bedroom, now.”

Natasha fake pouted, sticking her bottom lip out. “But I wanted to have another drink with--”

Bedroom .” Clint just picked her up, tossing her right over his shoulder and headed out of the room.

Tony waved at Natasha, who was laughing as Clint groped up and over her ass, and turned to study his boyfriends. “I'm gonna break you prudes if it's the last thing I do.” He muttered.

“What was that, honey?” Steve asked, and Tony just smiled.

“Nothing, babe. Nothing at all.”