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Didn't We Almost Have it All?

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Jim knew he should probably fight this. Push Spock away and demand answers. Why was he here after everything? What did he think he was doing? So many things, probably.

But he found that he could not. As much as his brain told him, way in the back somewhere, that he should resist, the rest of him decried that idea.

For Spock was kissing him in a way that made Jim think Spock wanted him, desperately wanted him, and God, maybe he was beyond pathetic, but he needed to be wanted right then. Needed Spock to want him, most especially.

And so instead of pushing Spock away, Jim pulled him closer. Lifted his arms up and around Spock’s neck. Kissed Spock back with every pent up emotion assailing him. Love, want, need, burning desire. If Spock wanted to fuck then Jim was onboard.

He laved his tongue along the seam of Spock’s lips until they parted allowing Jim’s tongue entrance. Spock’s tongue was on fire much like his lips, which ordinarily were oddly cool. They were anything but now.

Spock’s hands slid down Jim’s back, resting briefly on the hollow, causing shivers to run up Jim’s spine, and a moan to spill from his lips, before slipping down to Jim’s ass. The grip there was hard, strong.

He found his world tilting as he was lifted off the ground. He didn’t bother to scramble for purchase for he knew Spock would not drop him. He was almost freakishly strong and Jim found that way hotter than it should have been.

Somehow Spock must have guessed where Jim’s bedroom was because he carried Jim, hands on Jim’s ass, straight to his bedroom. The door was open, of course, for Jim lived alone and there was no one to close his door against.

They fell on the bed together, their mouths still fused as though to let go would mean death. Jim was so fucking hard he pushed up against Spock, desperate to rub against something for relief.

“Let me.” Spock somehow spoke even though his mouth was still invading Jim’s. He moved one hand to the fastenings of Jim’s pants, working amazingly deftly and unzipping them.

Jim arched into Spock’s grip as it closed around his now freed dick. He mewled into Spock’s mouth even as Spock sucked on his tongue. He tore at his own shirt, trying to get it off, and somehow Spock yanked it over his head, allowing Jim just a moment to breathe before his mouth once more devoured Jim’s.

This was crazy. He’d never felt so hard, so turned on, so unbelievably needy in his whole life. It was scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Finally Spock broke their kiss, it was the only way to successfully get them both naked. Jim panted in short breaths as he worked the work boots from his feet, being careful not to jar the artificial leg too much.

By the time he turned to pulling his pants and underwear the rest of the way off, Spock had already stripped out of his all black attire with startling efficiency.

He was so beautiful, Jim’s mouth went dry. Not that he could have forgotten from the last time they were together just how incredibly gorgeous Spock was. God, how would anyone like Spock ever want him? It was ridiculous.

But before he could give into such thoughts and once more consider pushing Spock away, Spock had rejoined him on the bed, kissing him hard and almost brutally but Jim relished it.

Long Vulcan fingers pinched his nipples, and Jim gasped both from pain and pleasure. Then once more Spock ended their frantic kissing and slid down Jim’s torso to place himself between Jim’s legs.

A hot, moist mouth swallowing down his cock had him keening and arching off the bed, hands digging into the sheets beneath him. He was taken deep and the suction was better than any he’d ever felt.

“Fuck, fuck, Spock,” he groaned out.

The outside wind hit his window with a hard blast but other than a tiny jump, Jim hardly noticed and Spock didn’t seem to at all as he continued driving Jim insane.

Spock inserted two fingers into him and after the briefest of burns, they slid in easily. Jim didn’t know where Spock got the lube or the significance of him having it, and at the moment he just didn’t care.

Over and over Spock fucked him with his fingers, his mouth doing incredible things to Jim’s soaking cock. Just when he thought he would surely expire of he didn’t come soon, Spock withdrew his fingers and released his cock with a somewhat loud slurp.

Jim almost laughed it seemed so out of character for Spock, but his emerging laugh turned to a moan of pleasure as Spock pushed into him, his double-ridged cock pushing past all his tight muscles to embed full within him.

Spock lifted up Jim’s legs, both of them, and there was no pain in Jim’s bad leg as Spock adjusted himself to easily thrust in and out of Jim’s ass.

It could have been seconds or hours, Jim lost track, as Spock pressed against his prostate with each pulsing, deep thrust. He began to feel like he was floating, in some other dimension or something, the pleasure so intense as to be unreal, surely.

At one point he thought Spock had placed his hand on Jim’s face, but he was barely aware of even that as his former first officer rode him, pistoned into him, again and again.

He clung to Spock, moving himself a little to angle his body so Spock could enter him deeper still. Spock moaned his approval at the new position. 

When Spock once more took Jim’s erection in his grip, it was too much stimulation and Jim shot out gobs of cum as he shook with tremors that wracked his body and mind. He was pretty sure he screamed Spock’s name.

Spock moved inside him, taking his time to thoroughly take Jim. He was too blissed out to care and even though he’d already orgasmed himself, he found pleasure in Spock’s thrusts into his body.

The Vulcan came without sound, as befitting a Vulcan who’d undergone Kolinahr, Jim imagined, but his expression was one of almost otherworldly ecstasy.

Afterward Spock slumped down into the bed, seemingly passed out, from what Jim could tell. But he breathed, and so Jim was unconcerned.

He rose from the bed and snatched up his clothes, briefly standing by his bedroom window to gaze out at the wind that rattled the house.

He still had no idea what any of this meant. Why Spock came, other than to claim mental instability, somehow attached to intimacy with Jim. Yet, Spock had been all for such intimacy again. 

Did Spock want something with him? That seemed unlikely. Jim was well aware what they’d just engaged in did not require an emotion behind it.  He’d been aware of that even before Spock declared it was a physiological response. Jim’d had his fair share of emotionless sex. Not with Spock, though. Not for him.

He went into his bathroom and dressed, washing himself off a bit before doing so. He checked on Spock when he was finished but the Vulcan still slept. Jim wondered how long it had been since Spock had done so.

Well, if Spock needed rest and solitude this was the place for it.

Jim went out to the kitchen and made himself coffee and an egg and toast. He rubbed absently at the thigh attached to his artificial limb. It ached a little but no more than usual.

Maybe he should regret having sex with Spock again. It would surely lead to more heartache for him and Jim wasn’t sure he could handle much more. But he couldn’t. Because all the stupid stories he’d heard over the years turned out to be true. Sex with someone you loved really was better.

Jim wished it wasn’t true.

For his own sake.