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carved in your name with my pocket knife

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‘are you sure you can't come over?’

peter smiled as he listened to his boyfriend whine and mope through his phone. he'd literally seen pete four hours previously, and had been tied over with the promise that he'd try to swing by the apartment once his parents got home and knew he was alive.

‘wade, you saw me earlier.’ peter shifted his position on the bed, turning to face the large windows and sort of hoping that maybe wade would test his luck and come climbing through one of them any second.

‘I know, but I was promised a visit. you're now breaking that promise. how can I trust you at all in this relationship?’ wade moaned. pete rolled his eyes; he knew his boyfriend was kidding. he did feel bad for lying to wade, but he knew his parents and knew for a fact he wouldn't be allowed out tonight.

‘you know my parents. they're not going to want me to leave tonight after a mission like the one they were just on, and besides, they were gone for an entire week. I think I can give them one night.’

wade seemed to see the logic in this, because he huffed loudly and threw himself down somewhere. probably his bed, peter thought absentmindedly. then his mind drifted to how they were probably lying in similar positions, wade staring at his ceiling while pete looked out the window. it was almost like they were in a teen romance novel. he snorted hard.

‘tell me that you're not doing lines without me!’ wade gasped in mock surprise.

‘without you? never,’ pete shot back. he heard wade laugh quietly.

‘then why'd you snort like that?’

‘I was just thinking- we could be in a teen romance novel. like 'the fault in our stars' or whatever.’

‘you're right,’ wade conceded. ‘forbidden romance, mutual pining, a handsome boy.’

‘and here I thought your ego had gotten smaller.’

‘I never said I was the handsome boy, baby.’

peter felt his cheeks heat up as he bit back a smile. suddenly, his spidey-senses started to tingle. someone was coming down the hall.

‘anyways, the test was terrible. I can't believe they still let hansen teach.’

the sudden switch in conversation must have startled wade, but if it did he didn't let pete hear it. ‘someone coming?’

there was a knock at the door. ‘peter?’ it was steve, then, because tony only called him by his full name when he was in trouble. ‘dinner’s ready.’

‘okay pops, be right there!’ he called back. steve didn't move from the door, probably thinking that peter would go back to his conversation and wanting to know who he was talking to.

‘no, i'm still here,’ he faked easily. that was a little sad, how he'd gotten so used to lying to his parents. ‘i'll see if I can send over the worksheet later.’ peter put emphasis on that last sentence.

wade got what he was trying to say and laughed a little. ‘I love you. be careful.’

‘you too.’

wade hung up first. peter listened to the dial tone sadly, already missing his voice. sighing, he composed himself and stood up. steve was still waiting outside the door. he pulled it open and pretended to be surprised that his dad was still there.

‘oh hey pops.’ steve must have believed him, because he put his arm around pete’s shoulders.

‘hey kiddo. who was that?’

‘m.j., she was sick yesterday so I was just filling her in on the science work.’

the two of them made their way into the communal kitchen. it was bustling, just like it always was after a mission. bruce stood at the stove, making something that smelled wonderful. natasha was shooting blueberries into clint’s mouth while sam and rhodey cheered them on. pete saw that tony was fiddling with bucky’s metal arm while thor rummaged around in the fridge. everyone said hello, but then went back to whatever they were doing before. tony stood up and came to hug peter tightly; he actually held on to pete for so long that pete began to squirm, not wanting to be rude and pull away but also feeling a little overwhelmed because of his heightened senses.

that was another thing he was lying about. neither of his parents knew he was spiderman, and he wasn't too eager to tell them. it was a secret peter had all for himself, and he didn't have a lot of those. he loved his parents of course, more than anything in the world except maybe wade and being spiderman, but they could be so…so…overbearing. pete understood that he was their baby or whatever, but he really wished they wouldn't treat him that way. it was always ‘you can't do that peter’ or ’you're being too reckless peter’ and even the occasional ’you're too young for this peter’, which was the one that really got him. sometimes, pete was convinced his parents forgot that he was turning 18 within the month.

so no, he wouldn't be telling them about his little side job for as long as he could help it. besides, tony didn't approve of spiderman’s ‘antics’, as he put it. he thought that ‘the kid was just gonna get himself hurt’ and sometimes said harsher things, like that he was just making the avenger’s job harder by drawing so much public attention. steve, however, thought that spiderman was doing a good thing for the city and once even said he made steve’s job easier because it meant steve could focus on international problems and not just new york. plus, he had pointed out, the kid did have some pretty cool gadgets. tony had nodded and grumbled in agreement, but even that had made peter swell with pride. ’that's me!’ he'd wanted to shout. ’I made it all myself!’ he hadn't of course, he instead settled on immediately calling wade, who said something along the lines of ‘damn right it's cool, my baby boy’s a genius!’

‘earth to peter. are you even listening to me?’ tony was waving a hand in front of peter’s face, trying to get his attention.

‘huh? sorry, what?’

‘I said, were you alright by yourself?’ tony asked again.

‘oh, yeah I was fine. ned and m.j. came over a few times, I hope that's okay.’ they hadn't, actually, but the security logs would show that someone had entered the tower who wasn't peter, and he couldn't exactly say it was wade who had come over. better to say it was ned or m.j. now than have one of his parents look later and get suspicious. pete made a mental note to tell the two of them to help cover for him as he helped set the large table. he watched his pops furrow his eyebrows as he sat down in his seat.

‘m.j. came while she was sick?’

oh, mother fuck. peter had forgotten he'd told steve that m.j. hadn't been to school the day before. tony looked up expectantly.

‘uhh..well, well obviously not, pops, she only got sick yesterday. last time she was here was wednesday night.’

this seemed to make sense to his parents, who promptly changed the subject to some treaty negotiations. peter exhaled and thanked all of the gods he could think of that they hadn't asked what m.j. had been sick with, or god forbid, suggested that they call and tell her to feel better. pete knew he could count on her, but that was a big lie for m.j. to pull of with no warning. pete sighed again, then started a conversation with bruce about a science project he'd been working on. dinner seemed to pass extremely quickly and soon people were saying goodnight one by one and retreating to their respective rooms. pete expected his parents to want to watch a movie or have family bonding time, but they both seemed pretty dead on their feet. this was better than anything he could've expected! peter faked a huge yawn and started to act like he was super tired.

‘dad, pops, I know we probably wanted to have family time but i'm reaaallllyy tired. can we just go to bed and do it some other time?’ he asked, pulling out his puppy dog eyes and pretending to stifle another yawn.

‘sure, petey,’ tony said sleepily. ‘i'm pretty tired myself.’

‘I agree,’ steve agreed. ‘see you in the morning son.’

peter stayed in the kitchen long enough to make sure he saw his fathers enter their room and shut the door quietly. he fist pumped and did a little happy dance; he would be able to see wade tonight after all. making his way quietly down the hall, pete texted wade and told him he'd be over within the hour. to JARVIS, he said ‘you know what to do’ to which JARVIS responded with a quick ‘of course sir.’ this wasn't the first time peter had snuck out. he'd programmed a simulation that JARVIS could play if someone tried to see how he was doing- the tower’s beds could read stats like heart rate, weight, height, blood pressure and the like. it varied from night to night so that it didn't seem fake to anyone looking it up. finally, JARVIS gave him the all clear that his parents were asleep, and pete grabbed his backpack and crept into the front room.

‘and where do you think you're going?’

peter jumped about ten feet into the air when he heard natasha’s voice. while he caught his breath, he wondered why his spidey-senses didn't alert him that she was there. he came to the conclusion that their respective senses must cancel each other out.

‘uhhh,’ he responded quite eloquently. ‘out?’

‘mhmm.’ she was completely unreadable as she walked around the kitchen island to stand in front of him. ‘out where?’ just then, almost on cue, peter’s phone buzzed from a text message. probably wade. then it buzzed again. and again. then two more times in quick succession. pete’s eyes raised upwards as he prayed for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. nat smiled wide. ‘oooh, are you going out to meet m.j.?’ she asked conspiratorially.

‘what? no,’ peter rolled his eyes. ‘i'm not meeting m.j., or any girl for that matter.’

‘not a girl? okay then. ned.’


‘harry? I thought you'd gotten over him.’

‘definitely not harry.’

‘ugh,’ nat groaned. ‘do I even know him?’

now peter really started to sweat. ‘yes. I mean, no. well, not really. sort of. you don't know him know him. I can't tell you who he is anyways because then you’ll tell my dads and i'll really be in trouble. it's not that I don't trust you, it's just that-‘


he realized he'd been rambling.

‘peter, are you seeing wade wilson?’

peter thought he was going to throw up. or scream. maybe he could just bolt out of the room, he did have the advantage with the door to his back. tasha looked concerned and a little incredulous. wade wasn't very well liked by the other avengers, which maybe had something to do with the fact that he was classified as a super villain by SHIELD. nat chewed on her bottom lip and thought for a minute.

‘is that why you've been so secretive lately?’

pete rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. ‘yes.’

‘he treats you right?’

‘of course. I wouldn't stay with him if he didn't.’

‘and he makes you happy.’ it was a statement, not a question.

‘yes.’ and he did. wade made pete really fucking happy.

‘okay,’ natasha whispered. ‘okay. I won't tell.’

peter let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. ‘thank you.’ he quickly hugged her and bolted out of the door before she could change her mind. as he swung to wade’s, he thought about what had just happened. nat knew, she knew and she didn't even seem to care. a smile crept onto his face as pete thought about a future where his parents and friends didn't mind that he was with pete and they were happy for him. as he came up on wade’s apartment building, he saw wade outside on the fire escape, smoking.

‘hey,’ pete said as he settled on the railing.

‘hey back,’ wade answered, passing peter the joint.

‘you'll never guess what just fucking happened.’ he took a long drag, staring down at the cars as they passed underneath them. wade had recently moved out of blind al’s guest room, deciding that he needed more space. this meant there was hardly any furniture in the apartment, just a bed and a folding chair or two, so a lot of the time the two of them just sat on the fire escape. sometimes they smoked. sometimes they made out. they never did more than that, though, because wade said he wanted to wait until peter was 18. he said he didn't want to be ‘that guy’, he wanted peter to be sure he wanted it. while that was sweet and chivalrous and hot it was also really damn annoying. peter realized his mind had wandered far, far off. ‘well?’ he asked. ‘don't you want to know?’

‘you said I wouldn't guess,’ wade answered, taking back the blunt, ‘so I didn't try. I thought you'd just say it.’

peter rolled his eyes. wade was very high, he realized. he wondered how long he'd been smoking, and if he'd taken something else as well. the joint made its way back to pete. he could feel it now too, he was less anxious and wasn't really sure how long he'd been sitting there with wade.

‘c’mon, let's go inside,’ wade sighed. ‘I can tell this is gonna be quite a story.


‘and she just…let you come?’

‘yeah.’ peter sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

‘and she said she wouldn't tell.’



‘I know.’

they sat in semi-stunned silence in wade’s kitchen. wade turned and got a beer out of the fridge. he gestured vaguely and pete knew he was offering one to him.

‘no, thanks. I should go back soon, and I don't want to go back smelling like alcohol in case I get caught.’

‘that's smart,’ wade sighed. ‘fuck, I can't wait until you don't have to hide from your parents.’

‘me too,’ peter agreed. he intertwined their fingers. they lapsed into a comfortable silence. wade sipped his beer. pete drew patterns on wade’s hand. when wade finished his beer they went to lay down on the bed, which was really just a mattress with a sheet thrown over it. the t.v. played old ‘friends’ reruns. it was perfect.


peter almost cried when the alarm on his phone altered him that he should head home. wade knew what the alarm meant, and he disentangled himself from pete.

‘when will I see you again?’ he asked sleepily.

‘tomorrow night. i'll probably go out as spiderman.’

‘alright.’ wade was so quiet that peter thought maybe he had fallen asleep. he stood up and creeped towards the fire escape. ‘petey,’ wade murmured.


‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, wade.’

for a second, everything was still. a car horn honked from the street. the audience on the television laughed. latin music quietly wafted into the apartment from somewhere. peter and wade stared at each other in the moonlight. wade reached out, as if he could touch pete from where he was laying.

'goodnight,' he whispered.

peter leapt over the fire escape railing.