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after the storm passes

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It’s been nine days since primefiya and still Abby hasn’t spoken to him. Marcus knows she’s angry that he saved her despite her wishes, and he’d rather she be mad at him and alive than dead. If her silence is the price for that he’ll pay it for the rest of his life. He just won’t do it gladly.

At the time he’d been so desperate to keep her by his side that he’d convinced himself she’d come to see reason after he’d explained. She of all people knows what it’s like to be left alone after losing the love of your life. But so far she’s refused to even be in the same room as him and Marcus is pretty sure she’s never going to talk to him again.

Watching her work herself half to death is agony. When no word had come from Clarke or the others she’d focussed all her energy on medical and even Jackson hasn’t been able to make her pause.

Medical is up and running now, and Marcus knows thanks to reports from Jackson that Abby at least goes to her room to sleep a couple of hours a night, but he doesn’t dare go near it himself for fear of upsetting her.

Unfortunately he’s forced when he’s hurt in a training session.

The cut isn’t deep, but the gym isn’t exactly the cleanest place in the bunker and Marcus knows it’ll need to be disinfected and bandaged. When he walks into medical the only one there is Jackson and Marcus shuffles in cautiously and nods.

“Kane’ Jackson greets him, a mutual respect having grown between them now that they share their worries over Abby. At the mention of his name a sound of a chair scraping over the floor can be heard and Abby’s slim form appears in the doorway to her office seconds later.

She’s as beautiful as ever. Despite the bags under her eyes and the overall sense of frailty surrounding her she’s still the most stunning woman he’s ever seen. He’d give her appearance more attention but it’s the look in her eyes that catches his.

They’re wide and teary, pupils blown wide with fear and they flutter over his body at lightening speed, assessing how bad the damage is. Without thinking about it Marcus steps forward and reaches for her. “I’m okay Abby, I’m fine” he says.

Panic slowly eases out of her and he can just make out the sense of relief the floods through her before she closes herself off again. “Then why are you here?” she asks sharply, and her icy tone stings more than any blade could.

“I got nicked in training” Marcus says, turning to show her his shoulder, “It’s nothing but Indra insisted I go”. In reality she’d threatened to tell Abby if he didn’t get his ass to medical, but Abby doesn’t need to know that.

Abby crosses her arms across her chest. “I thought you didn’t get hurt?” She jabs, turning her back on him and walking toward an examination table. Marcus takes the hint and follows her, sitting down without further prompting.

“Shirt off” she instructs, as she takes a swab and douses it in alcohol. Marcus does as he’s told and winces as the movement causes his cut to stretch. Abby doesn’t seem sympathetic and immediately presses the swab to the wound. He winces again and he swears he sees a satisfied smirk cross her features.

Abby swiftly and carefully cleans the blood away and disinfects the cut, putting on two butterfly bandage before covering it with a bandaid. Secretly Marcus thinks her bedside manner leaves something to be desired but he’s smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

When she’s done Abby crosses her arms again and glares at him. Her stance is deviant and she’s clearly trying to portray rage, but there’s a hint of fear still in her eyes.

“Thank you” Marcus says earnestly, “I’m sorry if I scared you, but I’m okay”.

It’s the exact wrong thing to say.

Abby’s eyes flare open, eyebrows drawn tightly together. “You’re sorry?!” She yells, “You’re sorry?! What am I supposed to do with that? You scared me half to death!”.

Getting off the table, Marcus holds out his hands in a surrendering pose, trying to calm her, but she isn’t done yet. “You saved me, after I specifically told you not to!” She exclaims, “You forced me to live in a world where I don’t even know if my daughter is alive or not!”.

Her voice cracks, conveying just how emotional she is and Marcus’ heart shatters. “And then after you come in here and make me fear for your life as well, all you can say is sorry?”.

Marcus doesn’t know how to answer that. Tears pool in his eyes and he steps towards her. “I don’t know what else to say Abby, I’m so, so sorry” he says, “I don’t know what else to tell you except that I love you and I’m sorry”.

Without giving her the chance to escape he wraps her tiny body in his arms. Abby fights back at first, banging her fists into his chest, but he holds on and eventually she slumps forward, weeping into his shoulder, her body rocking with the force of her sobs.

He holds her as close as he can without crushing her, cradling the back of her head in one hand, while his other hand is wrapped tightly around her waist. “It’s okay, we’re okay” he whispers into her hair, over and over.

After a while, it could’ve been minutes, could’ve been hours, Abby finally untangles her hands from his shirt and moves away. Marcus reluctantly lets her go, and tries to catch her eyes, but she’s looking down.

“You should go” She says quietly. Marcus stares at her, “Abby…” he starts, but she cuts him off. “No, I get it okay, I get why you did it, and I love you, but I need more time”.

At last she meets his gaze and she seems calmer, more in control. He can clearly see the sincerity in her. “Okay” he concedes, “I’ll wait as long as I have to. Just promise me two things” he says, pausing to make sure he’s got her attention.

She’s focussed on him and so he continues, “Take care of yourself, and when you’re ready, come find me, no matter the time”. Abby nods and Marcus steps up to her and kisses her forehead.

For now, this will have to be enough.

 

-

 

It’s barely five days later when Marcus gets called into medical. “Kane, we need you, it’s Abby” Jackson tell him over the walkie talkie, and Marcus is sprinting from his office before the other man can even finish the sentence.

He makes it to medical in record time and storms in frantically. Abby’s sitting on an exam table in the corner, back against a wall and legs up, but she seems unharmed and she’s sipping a cup of water.

“What happened?” Marcus asks as he makes his way over to her. She looks up at the sound of his voice and scowls. “Damnit Jackson” She mutters under her breath.

Jackson hears her anyway and gives her a stern look. “Don’t give me that, you want him here” he replies matter of factly, and Marcus smiles to himself when she doesn’t deny it and just walks away. “And if he’d just let me finish talking he would’ve known you weren’t hurt” he adds, shooting a look in Marcus’ direction.

Shrugging his shoulders marcus shoots the young doctor a grateful smile. Without him he’d still be in the dark after all. “So what’s wrong?” he asks, looking back to Abby.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine” she replies, right as Jackson says, “She fainted”. Instinctively Marcus moves closer to her. “What?” he exclaims, “Are you okay, did you hurt yourself?”.

Abby reaches out and places her free hand on Marcus’ arm. “I’m fine” she says, then adding grudgingly, “Jackson caught me”.

“It’s lucky I did” Jackson says, “if I hadn’t you could’ve had some serious injuries. Now lay down, I need to scan your brain”. Abby opens her mouth to protest but before she can Jackson stops her. “No, we should’ve done this months ago, when Raven first started showing symptoms. We’re scanning you”.

Marcus is silently impressed with the way Jackson deals with a stubborn Abby, but then the apprentice has been dealing with her for long enough now. Abby sets her cup on the side table and scoots down.

It only takes a few minutes to capture the images, and only a few seconds after that until Jackson can process them. A look of surprise crosses his features as he does so, but there’s no panic in it, just confusion.

“There’s no evidence of brain damage” Jackson finally says, a note of relief in his voice, “The scans are normal”. Abby snatches the tablet out of his hands, “how’s that possible?”.

As she scrolls through the images Marcus turns to Jackson. “If it’s not her brain, then why did she faint?” He asks. Jackson shrugs his shoulders, “Could be a number of reasons, I’ll run a blood test and we’ll go from there”.

They spend the next hour trying to stay patient as Jackson runs every test he can think of. The chancellor part of him knows he should be objecting to the waste of resources but the rest of him is so focussed on figuring out how to help Abby that he easily ignores it.

After Abby and Marcus have waited together in an awkward silence for another twenty minutes, her deftly ignoring him, him carefully respecting her boundaries, Jackson finally returns with the results of the tests.

“Kane, you better sit down” he starts, and Marcus does so out of sheer panic at the way Jackson is addressing him. He takes a seat at the end of Abby’s cot and folds his hands in his lap to hold them still.

Jackson looks slightly uncomfortable now and he looks down at the tablet as he asks, “Abby, when was the last time you had your period?”. She frowns, seemingly deep in thought, “I don’t know,” she finally says, “It must’ve been months ago. Why?”.

“You’re pregnant”.

Marcus’ heart skips a beat and his eyes grow wide. It’s a good thing Abby is asking question because he can hardly listen, let alone talk. “Jackson, what are you talking about?” She says.

“It appears the emp fried your contraceptive implant. Pregnancy is less likely at your age but not uncommon especially if…” Jackson trails off, looking even less comfortable now. Marcus can imagine, talking to your boss about her sexlife can’t be easy.

Marcus meets Abby’s eye and sees the same realisation dawn on her. Polis. The nine heavenly days they’d spent together before the world had gotten even more chaotic and forced them to be apart again. Plenty of opportunities to have gotten pregnant.

With a soft cough Jackson saunters off and leaves them alone so that they can talk in private. “Marcus please say something” Abby says as soon as the other man is out of earshot.

“What do you want me to say?” He asks, absolutely uncertain what it is she wants to hear. Abby scowls. “It’s not about what I want you to say, I want you to tell me what you’re thinking, if this is something you could want…”.

Marcus moves so quickly he even surprises himself. He slides up until he’s right next to her where she’s sitting with her legs tucked underneath her and her back against the wall. “Abby, are you kidding me?” he starts, “this is everything I thought I wasn’t allowed to wish for”.

“I never wanted children until we came to the ground, and then we happened and I didn’t think…” he pauses, looks away, “You had a child with Jake and I never could’ve asked you to grant me that when he was your husband for twenty years”.

He looks back to her and sees her eyes are wide and glazed over with tears so he cups her cheek with his hand. “Abby I couldn’t possibly put into words how much I want this baby, how happy I am right now”.

Abby leans into his touch and smiles timidly. “I’m happy too”.

They both surge forward at the same time, catching each others lips in a hungry kiss. It’s been so long since he got to kiss her, got to feel her soft pliable lips against his, got to thread his hands through her hair.

Eventually Abby is the one that pulls out of the kiss, resting her forehead against his. “I’m sorry Marcus”. Startled, he cups her jaw with both hands and moves her away slightly so he can meet her eyes. “For what?” he asks.

“I’ve been horrible to you these last few weeks, I shouldn’t’ve…” she trails off uncertainly. It’s clearly written on her face that she’s still not completely at peace with it. Marcus strokes his thumb over her cheek. “You have every right to be angry. I went against your wishes and forced you to deal with the consequences. I don’t fault you for feeling the way you feel. But I can’t apologize because I don’t regret it, especially not after what we just learned”.

Abby smiles sweetly and takes his hands in hers, the way he’d done after she told him she’d be on the other side of the doors when the deathwave hit. “It does add a sense of relief into the mix” she admits, “I’m still hurt that you denied my wishes, but I understand why you did it and honestly, I don’t wanna be mad at you anymore because I miss you and I can’t spend another minute away from you”.

The smile that appears on Marcus’ face is wider than he remembers smiling since the first night in Polis. “I love you Abby” he says, “and I don’t wanna be apart either”.

“Good” she states, “because we’re gonna be parents, so we’re never going to be out of each other's lives again”. They both grin as they process the reality behind what she’s just said and frankly, it’s the most comforting thing in the world.