Chapter Text
A wind chime shakes in the wind softly as MOMO gazes out the window, the clouds above indicating that rain would soon arrive. She heaves a heavy sigh and makes her way to the porch with an umbrella in hand, passing a calendar with a date –that day circled as she walks. She stands in the doorway for several moments silently regarding the outdoors before turning back and asking no one in particular..
MOMO:
Should I tell your uncle you’re not coming then?
Silence.
MOMO:
Sigh.
I have no interest in forcing you to go since this isn’t exactly a fun family outing, but you can’t run from this forever. –Or well, I suppose you could, but what good would it do you?
Her question is answered with more silence, and she opens the umbrella, leaving without another word. Flopped face first on a couch is SHIRO who only raises his head when he hears his grandmother leaving, and even then only for a moment as he frowns and places his head back down again.
SHIRO:
Muffled.
I’m never going there ever. Not after he just abandoned me.
Opening theme: As long as I am me….
Is it because I am me, that I know powerlessness and loneliness?
If I were someone else, would I still have experienced misfortune?
Would shooting stars in the sky and the moon in the skies look different from another’s point of view?
The dreams and wishes I’ve embraced hard enough to break –would they still be as meaningful?
The little things; my height complex, stubbornness, and how I wear my heart on my sleeve,
Are all a part of me. Light at times, heavy at others, but never more than I can shoulder.
I know I face forward only because I don’t want others to see these tears of frustration,
And I run forward --I’m too stubborn and prideful to give up, because until the end I will be me.
Tripping and falling along the way only means I have a new starting point to begin.
The soil I kick up as I run is the only time I’ll stop and smell the flowers.
As long as I am me, even if others snicker under their breath, I won’t stop, and won’t be stopped.
Episode 8: Memory Memorial
POMMY:
Is Shiro awake, myuu?
SHIRO is in his favorite position –face down, but this time in his bed as POMMY stands on his back –a perch he loses as soon as SHIRO rolls around and breathes a sigh.
SHIRO:
I am now.
POMMY looks apologetic.
POMMY:
Sorry, Pommy wasn’t sure if Shiro was awake…
SHIRO:
Feh, it’s fine. I should probably head to campus soon anyway. I like coming back here to sleep in my own room, but the commute is a pain. I’m not sure how that guy does it.
POMMY:
It is strange isn’t it, myuu….Regulus always gets back home before you do.
SHIRO:
Despite leaving after me I think. Though, wait, it’s not like you’ve come here to wake me up before, so what’s the deal?
POMMY:
Oh! There’s someone here for you, myuu!
SHIRO:
Huh? Really? I’m not expecting anyone.
POMMY:
The truth is they’ve been here for a while but it’s only now Momo told me to come and get Shiro, myu!
SHIRO:
Weird. Anyway, let me get ready for class and I’ll be down in a minute, okay?
POMMY nods and hops off SHIRO’s bed and then scoots out of the door. SHIRO feels happy that his little friend has adjusted to life in his home so quickly. For a moment he had been concerned POMMY would have a difficult time getting adjusted ---but why really?
SHIRO:
Maybe I was just projecting my own issues on him. Wouldn’t be the first time….
He gets up to stretch and gets his base uniform on, thinking about the tasks at hand. He’s got to somehow figure out a way to talk to the elements in his body, keep from failing classes, and being murdered by REGULUS who’s threats against his life are simultaneously difficult and easy to take seriously. Though it’s when he’s under pressure that he thinks best –much to his chagrin. So now it’s just about making this reality work for him.
SHIRO:
Thinking.
It seems the knights –or Ashtarth at least shows up when I’m asleep or dreaming…but no one came last night. That idiot might be right that I need to actually ask them to come, but how do I do that?
Base uniform on, SHIRO heads downstairs and upon meeting no one in the living room, to the kitchen for his guest who he wasn’t expecting at all.
SHIRO:
Mornin’ Grandma….wh..whaaa?!
His grandmother sits across the kitchen table from a white helmeted bomber who wears brown gloves and brown hiking boots and a vest of the same color. On the table is a brimmed hat and black pouch, and upon SHIRO’s entry the white helmeted bomber smiles and greets SHIRO, his brown eyes shining with joy.
BOMBER:
Hey! How’s my favorite nephew?
SHIRO:
U—Unc? You’re here?
He frowns and shakes his finger.
UNCLE:
What kind of greeting is that? Your uncle comes from his fabulous adventures to see you and that’s all you’ve gotta say?
SHIRO:
I mean…I wasn’t…I didn’t think you’d be here.
MOMO:
Dryly.
I’d say that’s our line, considering how you disappeared without a word.
SHIRO simpers.
SHIRO:
Touche.
UNCLE:
Aw, no need for that ma. He’s here, I’m here, you’re still here…
MOMO glares at him.
MOMO:
What do you mean “still”? I’m going to outlive all of you, mark my words.
UNCLE:
I was kidding, kidding!
SHIRO glances over at the sink where a large green kangaroo is doing dishes, and an uncharacteristic smile creeps up his face.
SHIRO:
Rui! You’re here too, and as usual you’re doing the chores uncle won’t!
RUI gives SHIRO a smile and his UNCLE a dirty look, which he returns.
UNCLE:
Adventurers don’t wash dishes, Shiro. You know that!
MOMO:
More like, if I let you do it we’ll be eating out of our hands because you’ll break everything I own.
UNCLE:
Under his breath.
It wouldn’t kill you to pull some punches, geez. You won’t live long if your attitude sucks so much.
MOMO places her fists on each side of UNCLE’s head and drills into it.
MOMO:
I said I’m going to outlive all of you, and I meant it you ungrateful brat.
UNCLE:
Ow! Okay, okay!
SHIRO:
This is great though!
UNCLE:
In what way?! Are you watching this happening to me?
SHIRO:
I mean, that you’re back unc! You’ve got all kinds of adventures to talk about right?
UNCLE:
Ah! Yeah, of course! If your granny doesn’t mind you playing hooky for a day, I was thinking we could hang out!
SHIRO glances at MOMO expectantly.
MOMO:
I don’t care. Just as long as you two don’t expect me to cook for you. We eschew gender roles in this house depending on how convenient it is for me.
SHIRO:
Deal! …though wait, why are you back here Unc?
SHIRO then pauses for a minute and glances over at a calendar on the wall, his expression completely changing upon doing so.
UNCLE:
Ah, Shiro wait…it’s not like…
SHIRO:
Flatly.
Actually I should probably go to the base. I just started there so playing around and missing class isn’t a good idea.
UNCLE:
Shiro, listen I know how you feel but we….
SHIRO:
I’ll probably stay on campus tonight, and through the rest of the week. If you’re still around this weekend unc, we can talk, okay?
SHIRO turns to leave, but before he can his uncle grabs his arm.
UNCLE:
Sternly.
Shiro, listen to me. Yes it is true I came back for that, but I also heard you were back in town which is why I came directly to the house.
SHIRO speaks without turning around.
SHIRO:
I’m glad you did, but I have no intention of going.
UNCLE:
Ever?
SHIRO wrenches his arm free and heads out of the house without a word.
MOMO takes a deep breath and twirls her hair.
UNCLE:
Don’t say it, ma.
MOMO:
Sing song.
Say whaaaat?
UNCLE sighs and covers his face with his hand.
UNCLE:
I told you so.
MOMO:
Good, you said it for me.
UNCLE:
I wonder where he gets that stubbornness from.
They give each other a look as RUI shakes his head despondently.
BOTH:
Don’t answer that.
MOMO:
I’m not asking him to like it, but it’s been several years now –when is he going to give his respect to his father? At the very least he could do it once a year on the anniversary of his death….
UNCLE sighs and stands up.
UNCLE:
In any case, I’m around for a little while so I’ll just wait. Who knows, maybe this is the year he changes his mind? He did come home after all and we weren’t expecting that much.
MOMO shrugs and watches as he heads to the living room and plops on the couch.
MOMO:
He does have our genes, so I wouldn’t get too comfortable with that idea.
UNCLE:
Yeah, yeah. I know. Still, big bro would have been patient, so the least I can do is give his son the same courtesy.
MOMO stands and joins RUI in doing dishes as POMMY watches from around the corner, his little face creased in an unknown emotion.
KURO:
Huh, I’m sort of surprised to see you here.
SHIRO:
It’s a school day right? Of course I’d be here.
KURO:
That’s not what I mean, and you know it.
SHIRO sits in the cafeteria with KURO. They are soon joined by REI who has brought breakfast for two, happily giving KURO a plate of pancakes before starting on her own oatmeal as SHIRO glares at her the whole time –apparently without avail.
REI:
While I’d care less if you came or not, anything that distresses Kuro is problematic. He was concerned about you this morning.
SHIRO:
…Do you two live with each other? Otherwise how the hell do you get here at the same time?
REI:
The female dorm is not far from the male one you twit, and unlike you Kuro is punctual. It’s quite easy to meet him and come to class together.
SHIRO:
…That almost sounds like stalking.
KURO:
Don’t change the subject Shiro.
SHIRO:
No, I really think you two need to discuss boundaries rather than me being in school when I’m supposed to be.
KURO:
Today’s the day your Dad died, and while you’ve been away Granny Momo’s been going to see him. Now you don’t have any excuse to not do the same.
SHIRO:
I also just started here, and you know what they say about good impressions…
KURO:
I would have covered for you, and you know that Shiro!
REI:
Kuro, dearest while I normally agree with your cutely naive lens of the world, this is one instance where I must state my opposition. What does it matter?
Both bombers look over at REI who has a distant –cold look in her eyes.
REI:
Attending to the dead, or the dying doesn’t matter. Especially when one has their own life to live…their own struggles right here and now. If he doesn’t see any point in going, we have no right to meddle in his affairs.
KURO:
Rei….
SHIRO:
It’s not like that.
It is SHIRO’s turn to be in the spotlight of REI and KURO’S eyes.
SHIRO:
I mean…yeah there’s no point but…I dunno, I just can’t…don’t want to see him…not there, not like that.
KURO frowns.
KURO:
What are you talking about? There’s no other way to see a dead person is there?
SHIRO:
Yeah but GAH.
KURO and SHIRO nearly jump out of their seats when they turn and see that BELL has seemingly materialized out of nowhere –with a chair of her own, her fingers steepled covering her face.
BELL:
…I hear you have a need to speak to the dead?
SHIRO:
…No? I mean, maybe? Where the heck did you come from?!
BELL:
If you want a hotline to the underworld, I am your woman! Just meet me in the gym later! I’ll make sure you’re not disappointed, fufufufu..
SHIRO:
….What are you talking about….
BELL gives him a knowing look and nod before walking away –normally.
REI:
Well there you go. You have an in somehow. Good for you, no?
SHIRO:
Why does this bother me so much….Kuro, what do you know about that chick?
KURO:
…I never really bothered to learn that much? I kind of figured her whole thing was a shtick but apparently she really can summon the dead? Are you going to go?
SHIRO:
I don’t know?
REI:
Why not? It could be interesting, and it would save you time from having to go to a place you’d rather not.
SHIRO:
I feel like your focus is on the “interesting” part.
REI:
I said it before did I not? I have interest in learning all about you so that my ship may be pure.
SHIRO:
There’s absolutely nothing pure about your intentions, lady.
REI:
Oh? That’s not what our teacher said? In fact he seemed so interested in my ideas that he suggested we start a ‘zine of sorts.
KURO:
Wait, you talked to him? When?
REI covers her mouth with her hand and laughs lightly.
REI:
I have my ways, dear Kuro. In any case we hit it off, and the ‘zine will soon go into production.
SHIRO:
You two are making a magazine about me and Kuro in a relationship, and we’re supposed to be okay with it?
REI:
Fandom rarely cares if canon is “okay” with what it does.
SHIRO:
While that may be true, I don’t like being this uncomfortably close to my fandom, dammit! I’m going to find that idiot and tell him he’d better not or else I’ll…
SHIRO groans and stands up.
KURO:
Where are you headed?
SHIRO:
The gym. Might as well get one bad taste out of my gullet with something else. If she can do what she says she can then it’d save me time, and if she can’t, at least I can say I tried.
KURO:
Ah, um, should we—er, I come too?
SHIRO:
If you can leave your trash behind, sure. If not don’t bother.
KURO frowns and looks over at REI who somehow manages to make a serene smile seem chilling.
KURO:
….I suppose he should have alone time with his Dad, if Bell can do it that is…
REI:
How did you manage to learn so much about him anyway? I know you two have been friends for a spell, and while you being this involved tickles my fangirl fancy, I can’t help but be a tick curious.
KURO:
Ah…well, that’s....you could say it was cause of his Dad that we met in the first place.
REI leans in interested, as SHIRO proceeds to the gym for his meeting with BELL. It’s not particularly like he wants to see his Dad –perish the thought. It’s just…well, c’mon, she claims to be able to raise the dead. That’s at least worth seeing right? Right?
SHIRO:
I should be figuring out how to talk to the knights in my head…wow that sounds really messed up when I say it out loud. Oddly they didn’t come to me in my dreams last night…hm.
SHIRO stops and taps his head lightly three times.
SHIRO:
Are you guys in there? I’m asking nicely if you can come out and talk to me? Ah, of course not. This is dumb, seriously.
SHIRO arrives at the gym and finds the door shut. His first instinct is to just open it, but he reconsiders, what if she can do what she claims she can and he lets a ghost out by haphazardly opening the door? It’s both good manners and probably for the betterment of the entire school if he knocks.
SHIRO:
Knocking.
Hey um, you in there?
The door rolls open slightly and BELL pokes her head out.
BELL:
Whispering.
On time. That’s good, that’s good. The dead are quite punctual despite not having much to do other than being dead.
SHIRO shirks back.
SHIRO:
Y’know, I think I changed my mind….maybe I won—
BELL grabs his arm, opens the door a bit more –but not by enough, as SHIRO’s forehead meets the door as she drags him in. She adjusts the opening a bit more upon a second attempt and brings SHIRO inside where it is dark except for a single candle in the center of the gymnasium. SHIRO rubs his head as BELL busies herself dashing around the room lighting up other candles until the entire room is covered in a gentle glow. SHIRO blearily glances around and realizes he’s standing on a paper with a strange signal that looks something like a winged demon sitting upon a rose covered gravestone that itself is atop a triangle. Upon further inspection, he finds several of these papers strewn about the room in a circle. When SHIRO glances up from this he sees BELL standing in the center, her hands together in what seems to be silent prayer, her eyes closed.
SHIRO:
Um…this is real mystic and everything but…
BELL’s eyes fly open and she points at SHIRO dramatically.
BELL:
Come hither and give heed!
SHIRO:
Wow, um…no?
BELL:
We haven’t time for you to act like a coward! The portal to the other side won’t stay open long!
SHIRO:
Hold the phone. I’m not a “coward”, it’s just this is creepy as hell.
SHIRO strides to the center of the circle and stands beside BELL.
SHIRO:
So now what?
BELL juts her hand out and waves it around in front of his face, indicating that he should take it, which he does after a long sigh. They both stand for a moment holding hands –SHIRO’s level of awkwardness rising with each moment until he turns to ask her what happens next and realizes he’s no longer in the gym, but in the doorway of his living room where MOMO and is chewing someone out….
SHIRO:
Wait…is that…Dad?
SHIRO rubs his eyes and squints harder –true enough it really is his Dad sheepishly patting the back of his head as his Grandmother with her arms on her sides talks to him.
MOMO:
What are you going to do if they fire you for being late?
DAD:
Sheepishly.
I hadn’t thought that far.
MOMO:
You really should. I didn’t raise you to be an idiot. Why would you sit here all morning waiting for him to wake up?
DAD:
I just can’t go without seeing him, mom.
MOMO:
Then wake him up! I swear, I don’t know where I went wrong with you…
DAD:
But kids need their sleep….
MOMO glares at him.
MOMO:
That child does nothing but sleep on the weekends, waking him up early once won’t kill him, I promise you.
SHIRO blinks. Every sensation feels so real, like he’s actually there….but more importantly he remembers this….he’s been here before.
SHIRO:
…This isn’t talking to my Dad, but a memory? I was gonna go to him, but I remember thinking “It’s great for Grandma to chew someone else out for once”. So I just stayed behind and watched it happen…Dad was sooo late that day too because he wouldn’t leave until he saw me…
SHIRO stops. Why this memory now? One thing the experiences of the last few days had taught him is he really should give more consideration to his brain when it’s trying to talk to him. He had gotten so used to shutting it out on Primus and in the black hole but now it’s high time he not only let other people help him, but let him help himself, if that makes any sense. He turns to the memory and walks forward to his Dad, just to blink and realize he is now outside of the circle. Apparently letting go of BELL’s hand is enough to break the connection, and while he has seemingly walked outside of the circle, BELL remains within it, her head bowed.
SHIRO:
Ah, dangit.
He makes his way back to BELL and taps her shoulder.
SHIRO:
Hey, um, you didn’t really summon the dead, but I appreciate the effort. I got to see something pretty important.
BELL is unresponsive which worries SHIRO enough for him to awkwardly tap her on the shoulder, as the awareness that she is a girl, and he’s not sure how to approach girls dawns on him. He taps her from arm’s length at first, but when that doesn’t work he gets in closer and pokes her.
SHIRO:
Hey, um…are you okay?
BELL slowly raises her head, her eyes opaque black holes devoid of light. SHIRO makes an ugly noise and moves backward, but he isn’t fast enough as she grabs his arm and draws him closer.
SHIRO:
What?! What?! What?!
BELL’s voice is low and eerie once she brings SHIRO close.
BELL:
Now that your schedule is clear, we can make an appointment with you.
SHIRO frowns.
SHIRO:
What?
BELL:
We’ll see you next time you close your eyes, not that you have a choice.
SHIRO:
Wait, who are “we”?
BELL doesn’t answer this, instead she simply wanders toward the door of the gym muttering things about “ungrateful brats”. She slides it open, lumbers outside and disappears around the corner. SHIRO begins to follow confused, but hangs back when he realizes that he’d have to explain this situation and he’s ill equipped to do so.
SHIRO:
…She’ll be okay, I hope.
He then takes a deep breath, slaps his cheeks and shakes his head.
SHIRO:
If I leave now, I can probably still make it.
He dashes back the way he came past the cafeteria where he nearly runs into REI and KURO. SHIRO starts to apologize, but shakes his head again and gives KURO a thumbs up before dashing off again. KURO looks confused at first, but as he realizes what this means, he grins and gives an approving thumbs up to SHIRO, which REI finds amusing for one reason or…or well, for a very specific reason.
KURO:
You got it man, I’ll cover for you.
REI:
Ah, how I love the childhood friend ship….you even understand each other without words! This ‘zine is going to be ever so good.
KURO:
I think he’s right and we DO need to discuss our boundaries…
SHIRO runs to the station, his mind clear for the first time since---well, since he returned home. This is exactly what he needs to do. He’d gotten so used to shutting obtrusive thoughts out of habit that he stopped trying to figure out what is obtrusive and what is necessary. Well, that would change now –where he needs to be, and what he needs to do is clear.
SHIRO:
I’m sorry it took this long Dad, but I’m gonna set things right.
***
The sun is high in the air as MOMO, Shiro’s uncle and POMMY walk through a graveyard, where a few other families are visiting their departed loved ones.
POMMY:
So we’re going to see Shiro’s father?
UNCLE:
Yeah. Come to think of it, you came with him….so were you with him while he was in space?
POMMY:
Myuuu…Pommy’s not entirely sure what he’s allowed to talk about…
UNCLE:
Um, okay. I won’t push.
MOMO:
Even without his “cat” being a poor liar, it’s clear that kid’s hiding something. Not that I care, really.
UNCLE:
Ma…He’s just at that age. No need to be so bitter.
MOMO gives him a look.
MOMO:
Who’s bitter? Not like you had to raise kids three times, in fact you haven’t even done it once have you? And I mean that in various ways.
UNCLE:
…Ma, are you…making a virgin joke?
MOMO gives him a sly look.
MOMO:
I wasn’t, but it says a lot about you if that’s where your mind goes. Seriously, where did I go wrong with the two of you?
He gives her a long withering look as they walk toward the gravesite, --a typical one made of granite standing above a small plot of land underneath a tree. Carved on the headstone itself is “In Loving Memory of Mighty, brave soldier and father who died in the line of duty protecting us all.” MOMO kneels before the grave bowing her head in silent prayer –which POMMY does as well. Shiro’s Uncle remains standing, but closes his eyes and clasps his hands together. For a moment they are silent until MOMO opens one eye and turns her head slightly.
MOMO:
Do you want to get in on this? Or are you going to peep like some kind of pervert?
POMMY and Uncle open their eyes and glance around until they take a look behind and see SHIRO standing behind them with a bouquet of flowers in his hands, his expression contrite.
UNCLE:
Pegasus on high, didn’t expect you to make it!
POMMY:
Shiro’s here, myuu!
SHIRO approaches the group and kneels down beside his grandmother, placing the flowers on his father’s grave.
SHIRO:
I’m sorry I made you late, Dad. ---I’m here, so you don’t have to wait anymore. You can go in peace now.
MOMO bows her head, her eyes begetting a sense of subdued satisfaction that no one –even her grandson beside her notices. His head bowed, SHIRO rests his hand on one knee and closes his eyes, remembering that day once again –MOMO chewing his father out for not leaving until he saw his son, and how he hadn’t said anything….yet on a deeper retrospective, SHIRO can recall his Dad leaning over his mother’s small frame and giving his son a wink. Maybe he knew more than he had let on that day after all….or was that the memory he got to see today?
SHIRO:
Thinking.
Ah, either way it doesn’t matter all that much….now he, and I can move forward –to where we really belong and do what we have to do.
It’s not as if Shiro feels better about the whole matter.
The rain would come back someday somewhere, but all one really needs is the promise of sunny days –a song and just a little strength to keep moving forward. Oh so much, and very little at the same time, but now—now he has both.