The sun shines bright and early in my eyes. I don't get up. I don't ever want to get up. There's a gnawing feeling in my stomach, and it's not hunger, but it's something like it. It's angry and dark and tangled and I want it gone. I want to be gone.
Beside me, Annie is stirring. She's slept in later than usual. I hope that means she didn't have any nightmares last night, because I don't know if I can be there for her today.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
Annie's eyes open slowly. She blinks twice, her gaze roves around the room, taking in her surroundings, before her eyes land on me. A small smile starts to creep across her face, but it stops when she looks closer. Without hesitating, she crawls forward and wraps her arms around me. I lay my head on her chest and she begins to gently rub my back. "Nightmare?" She asks sleepily. I smile slightly and breathe in the smell of her: a strange mix of the sea and freshly baked goods. "No," I answer, my voice sounding small to my own ears. She hums and doesn't ask any more questions, just holds me.
She lets me lay there with her for much longer than usual, past breakfast time. She only gets up when Adan starts crying. She disappears for two minutes, reappearing with Adan, and lays back down, baby between us. I'm suddenly filled with such warmth that it feels like it must bubble over.
"How long are you going to lay here with me?" I ask. She leans over Adan and kisses me gently. "As long as you need me to," she says, smiling tenderly, and my heart almost explodes. "Thanks," I whisper, snuggling closer to the baby and her.
I have a perfect family.