Bzzt. Bzzt. Furukawa Airi rubbed the sleep from her eyes, the constant buzzing of her phone interrupting her previously peaceful sleep. 3 new messages, flashed on her phone. Airi sighed, already knowing the culprit behind her late night texts; her overly worried girlfriend, Takayanagi Akane.
Airi opened the first message, her eyes tiredly glancing through the text, ‘where are you?’ Sent two hours ago. 2Nd message, ‘you better not be with someone else.’ Sent one hour ago. ‘If you don’t answer in 30 minutes then we’re over.’ Sent twenty minutes ago. She knew Akane didn't mean it, but if she didn't respond it would just make it that much harder for her when she decided to apologize.
‘Sorry, I was sleeping.’ Airi typed and reluctantly tapped the send button. Not a full lie, she reasoned to herself. It had been less than a minute before she received a reply, ‘sleeping where? I stopped by your apartment earlier, and you weren’t there.’ Airi groaned, she should have known that’s why Akane asked her where she was.
‘At Yuka’s. Her and Yuria had a fight.’ Again, not a complete lie, she did stop by Yuka’s earlier, however, rather than staying and sleeping at Yuka’s, she was instead laying in a dingy motel’s bed, next to women who wasn’t Akane.
Akane didn’t respond immediately, which Airi thought was unusual as the younger girl was usually swift with her replies. Ten minutes passed by until Airi received the reply, ‘I know you’re lying. Where are you really?’ ‘Shit,’ Airi thought to herself, ‘she probably called Yuka and asked if she was really there.’
Airi sighed, it was no use lying to Akane, ‘With Sawako.’ She confessed and set her phone back on the table, knowing that Akane wouldn't respond back to her, until she went to go see her.
Airi always wondered why she found herself doing these things, knowing that it would hurt Akane. It’s not that she wanted to hurt her but there was just something so exhilarating, so powerful to know that she could do whatever she pleased and Akane would still be there to accept her with open arms. It was an endless cycle of days where Airi would disappear with Sawako and come back on her knees, begging for forgiveness in front of Akane. Of course, Airi would always regret doing it the next day, but it was addicting to her, to know that Akane needed her as much as she needed Akane.
The younger girl was brought out of her thoughts when she felt a pair of slim arms circle around her waist, “you’re awake.” A soft spoken voice stated.
“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Airi, asked leaning back into the other girl’s form.
“Your phone was buzzing a lot.” Sawako quietly observed, ignoring the girl’s question.
Airi shivered slightly feeling Sawako’s breath on the back of her neck. “It was Akane.”
Sawako stayed silent for a few minutes and Airi inhaled sharply when she felt Sawako's mouth nip at her ear “Do you love me?” She whispered.
Airi simply laughed, gripping Sawako’s hand in hers tightly and clenching her eyes, struggling to regain her voice “Y-you know I only love Akane.”
Sawako hummed softly in response, running her hand lightly up Airi’s torso, grazing over her naked chest and across her collarbone, earning a soft whimper from the younger girl. She gently gripped Airi’s chin, forcing her to look at the older woman, “I’m going to make you forget all about Akane.” She whispered, pulling Airi into a heated kiss.
Akane breathed in the chilly, winter air, wrapping her heavy jacket tighter around her body. A fresh blanket of snow covered the mostly abandoned street she was walking on. She checked her phone for the hundredth time and groaned. Still no new messages. It wasn’t the lack of messages that particularly hurt Akane, rather it was the implication that it held.
It happened often, days where Airi stated that she needed space and wold disappear for days, weeks and once even a month. Akane understood that, but what she didn’t understand was why she had to run away to Sawako. Akane scoffed lightly to herself, Sawako was nothing but cheap whore you found roaming in the red light district, yet Airi still preferred her company over Akane’s. That was something about Airi she would never understand.
“Ah! Akane!” A loud, high pitched voice called out.
Akane looked up from her phone, a frown on her face. The cheerfully smiling Hiramatsu Kanako was the last thing that she wanted to see right now.
“What are you doing out this late Akane? Where’s Airi?” Kanako continued, either not noticing or caring about the clear look of discontent on the other girl’s face.
Akane forced a smile at the mention of her missing girlfriend, “Actually, I was going to go meet her at her house now.” She lied, attempting to move past Kanako but was blocked by an unfamiliar figure that she hadn’t previously noticed.
“Oh, this is my friend, Jurina.” Kanako giggled, looping her arm through the taller girl’s, “Isn’t she cute?”
“Nice to meet you.” Jurina greeted politely, smiling.
“Nice to meet you as well.” Akane nodded in acknowledgment. “Excuse me, I should go see Airi.” At this point, Akane didn’t care much if she was being rude, she just wanted to leave and confirm her suspicions.
Jurina moved to the side allowing Akane to pass by. “Your friend is cute. What was her name again?” She smirked, turning to Kanako and asking once Akane was out of ear shot.
Airi nervously twiddled with the loose string of fabric dangling off her shirt. She was currently standing in front of Akane’s apartment, debating on if she should knock or not. As she predicted, Akane didn’t respond to her text after she admitted to being with Sawako last night. Airi was ready to beg for her forgiveness, but she wondered if that was really what she wanted. Chances were that if she walked away right now, Akane would make no efforts to communicate with her any further. She would be free to do as she pleased without the heavy burden of guilt weighing on her shoulders.
However, the thought of living without Akane in her life was not something that Airi was ready for. She knew her choice was selfish, to continue to drag Akane through this failing relationship, but the one that she needed the most was her, not Sawako. Airi took a deep breath before raising a shaking fist and firmly knocking on the door.
After a minutes passed, the door opened revealing an expecting Akane, an unamused look written on her face, “Let me guess, you’re here to apologize.”
Airi chuckled nervously, relieved that Akane wasn’t that mad at her, or at least not showing signs of it, “You guessed it.”
“It’s not so hard to guess after the first few times.” She sighed deeply.
The shorter girl frowned, feeling the familiar wave of guilt washing over her. “I’m really, really sorry Akane. I know I say that a lot, but I mean it this time.” Akane’s expression didn’t change as she stared at Airi quietly. “I promise I won’t see her anymo-” Airi was cut off mid sentence when a familiar weight was thrown at her body.
Akane gripped tightly at Airi’s shirt, burying her face into the taller girls neck, letting the tears cascade freely down her face, “Idiot, I should hate you for everything you’ve done to me, but I can’t even bring myself to do that.”
At first, Airi stood stiff, her hands tight against her sides until she eventually relaxed into the embrace, wrapping her arms around the other girl’s smaller frame. “I’m sorry, Akane.” Airi mumbled, inhaling deeply and tightly closing her eyes to prevent her own tears from escaping.
Looking down at the ruins of the girl she loved in her arms, Airi knew she shouldn’t do this anymore, but the selfishness in her heart wanted more. She knew it was her fault that Akane’s smile didn’t have the same brightness that it used to anymore, or that the once vastly emotional eyes that Airi loved to look into were now barren and lackluster. She destroyed Akane until she was only half the girl she used to be, and Airi greedily still wanted more. Airi wanted all of her until she was nothing without her.
“Airin,” Akane spoke up, uncertainty laced in her voice, “Do you still love me?”
Airi pulled away from the embrace, frowning. She brought her hand up and lightly wiped Akane’s tear-streaked face, her eyes softening. “You know I only love you.”
Akane smiled and pressed her lips roughly against Airi’s, wrapping her arms tightly around the taller girl’s neck. Airi moaned, pushing Akane gently against the closed door behind her and deepening the kiss.
“I want you,” Akane breathed against the other girl’s lips, “Show me how much you love me.”
Airi rubbed her hands together in an attempt to provide some warmth to her freezing limbs. She glanced at her watch, she had been waiting outside the motel room for 15 minutes. Just as she was about to give up and head home, a familiar figure caught her eye. “I knew you would come.” Airi called as the figure neared her.
Sawako sighed, a slight smile on her face, “It would be dumb of me to turn down 40,000 yen.”
The younger girl smiled back, reaching into her coat pockets for the motel room key’s and unlocking the door, “I know, that’s why I offered it.” She opened the door widely, signaling Sawako to go in. Sawako entered and shrugged off her jacket, folding it over the chair.
Airi walked towards the other woman, until there was only a few centimeters of space between the two women, “I’ve missed you.” The younger girl admitted softly, reaching her hand out and placing it on Sawako’s cheek.
Sawako leaned into the touch, closing her eyes, “What about Akane?"
Airi smirked, gently pushing the older women down onto the bed, "Don't worry about Akane. I'll find a way to make it up to her" She said simply, hovering over Sawako, she traced her fingers down the older women' check and titled her chin up, "Right now, all I can think about..." Airi leaned down, feeling Sawako's warm breath caress her face, "...is you." She mummered capturing Sawako's lips with her own.