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Plane Truth

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Penny’s cell phone vibrated violently against the bedside table. She tried to ignore it, floating as she was at the very edge of sleep, but it taunted her, forcing her back to wakefulness with a long sigh. She picked up.

“Whoever’s calling had better be dead,” she said.

“Hello, Penny,” said the flat voice on the other side of the phone.

“Sheldon?” When she said his name, Penny felt Leonard stir and felt his arm wrap tightly around her waist, but he made no move to wake up. “It’s like two in the morning where you are, isn’t it? What are you doing calling us?”

“I happen to have a perfectly logical reason. I need your advice,” he said.

“What kind of advice?” God, she hoped it wasn’t what she thought it was, she couldn’t handle refereeing another nerd battle without a cup of coffee in her.
“Is it proper protocol to propose to a woman in the middle of the night, or should I wait for the morning?”

Penny’s eyes flew wide open. “Propose?! You’re going to propose to Amy?!”

“No, I was going to propose to the sky captain. I thought if I gave him my meemaw’s ring he might let me step into the cockpit and steer the plane.”

“Wait, you’re already on a plane? You’re flying home!?” Penny wondered. She was bouncing with delight for Amy, who loved Sheldon more than she’d ever loved anyone else in the world – even her smoking monkeys or the men who haunted her fanfiction.

“Yes, Penny. I’m flying home, Penny. Please give me advice, Penny, I have no idea how to do this.”

She sighed, rubbed her sleepy eyes and propped up her chin. “Honey, it’s Amy. You won’t even have to say anything to her. You know she’s…like really super romantic,” she said.

“You’re telling me I should recite poetry for her?”

“God no. Do you know any poetry?”

“Unfortunately that’s out of my zone of expertise, though thanks to Koothrapali’s unfortunate taste I am familiar with several dirty limericks.” He cleared his throat and then in a deep voice began to recite, “there once was a girl named Agnes…”

“Please. Don’t say it,” begged Penny.

“All right,” Sheldon sighed. “What other advice do you have? Do proposals require costumes? Music? Horses? There was a delightful pony ranch that just opened a few miles back on the highway…”

“I wouldn’t go to that place. I’ve heard some things about the guy who owns it.” Penny shivered.

“Oh fine. But what should I tell her? There has to be something that’s guaranteed to make her swoon like she’s been trapped in some sort of silent picture.”

Penny shrugged. “Sheldon, have you had your Meemaw’s ring with you the whole time?”

“For the last year and a half.”

In spite of herself, Penny smiled. “That’s all she needs to know.”

“Well,” Sheldon said, “I suppose so. Thank you for your help, Penny.”

“Any time,” she said. And as she hung up and floated off to sleep, she wondered if she’d dreamed the whole thing. Sheldon was off doing science stuff; he and Amy were letting each other breathe. Yeah, this was totally just a weird dream or something.

She rolled back into Leonard’s embrace and decided she’d figure out why her mind decided to give her random totally weird Sheldon dreams later on.