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By Choice

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It was no secret that Kurt Wagner’s life hadn’t been an easy one. As a child– even though there were many things he just couldn’t remember anymore– he had been despised by the community he should’ve been a part of, who believed him to be a demon that was supposed to be to feared. It hadn’t been easy to spend so much time hiding, terrified of what people would do to him if they ever found out where he was.

But hard as it had been– and by what he swore was the will of God– his life had been blessed by the circus. The circus was the biggest, most important part of Kurt’s life. In there, he found a family: people who accepted him and treated him as their equal. In the circus, he shone. He was The Incredible Nightcrawler, the best acrobat they had ever seen. People admired him and his unbelievable talent for acrobatics– even if they didn’t know that the way he looked on every performance wasn’t a costume, but his own flesh. And yet it didn’t matter, because to Kurt, hiding his true self was worth it when he saw the excited faces of the audience every time he performed.

However, it hadn’t been all good moments that would turn into happy memories. The scars he had inflicted on his own skin were a testament of that. 

One for every sin.

But despite that, after he joined the circus his life had been a good one. Not perfect, but certainly good. He knew about some of the things that had happened to other mutants, and he made sure to always remember to be thankful to be alive on his prayers. 

It happened one afternoon while Kurt was preparing himself for his show. He was sitting alone in his small tent when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing up– and because he wasn’t oblivious to the way humans treated people like him, he knew he had to get out of there just in case. But before he can even think of the place he’s going to go to, there’s something sharp stinging his neck and all of a sudden he can’t do anything but feel his body falling forward before the world around him disappears.

It’s impossible to know how much time passes since he loses consciousness until he finally regains it, but one thing is clear when he finally does: he has been caught by bad people. It’s dark and his body hurts, and when he tries to move he realizes he’s stuffed inside something small that seems to be a box and he just can’t get out of it, no matter how hard he tries. He screams and bangs his hands against the surface around him but he knows it’s useless– because no one answers and he can’t hear anything anyway.

He tries not to panic, but he can’t help himself. He’s scared– no– he’s terrified, because they know. They know who he is and what he’s capable of– and how to leave him perfectly defenseless. He doesn’t know what to do– he’s trembling and he wants to cry, so he resorts to the only thing that calms him when he feels helpless.

He lifts his palms up together and prays– he begs to God for help, for someone, anyone to help him get out of his awful situation because even if his life isn’t the best, it’s his and he wants to live it. 

But no one answers, and no one comes to help him, and one second he feels he’s moving and the next he’s on the floor of some place he doesn’t know and there’s people screaming and bright lights and… 

Is that an angel? 

He doesn’t have time to think; the people who dragged him to that cage already closed the doors and he tries and tries and tries to get away, to get out of there but it’s useless– he’s trapped. 

He’s trapped in a cage with an angel that wants to hurt him, and even if he’s doing his best to avoid him, there’s only so much space where he can teleport, and the angel is catching up to him pretty easily. 

How can he get out of there? What is this place? Is this the place he’d been hearing stories about? Where mutants are forced to fight to death? Does he deserve this? Is this punishment for his sins? Is this the work of God? Is He telling him he truly is the demon everyone believes him to be?

“Fight! Or they’ll kill us both.” The angel screams and Kurt finally sees the men outside the cage and the guns they’re holding, and in mere seconds he realizes how big and terrible what is happening truly is; he’s been kidnapped, and now he has to fight a person who can kill him, to avoid being killed by the people who kidnapped him. He has a choice to make, and he has to make it now

So he gives them what they want, because even though he doesn’t like to fight he’s an acrobat and he’s very skilled– and he doesn’t want to die at the hands of these people. It’s only when he looks at the angel’s destroyed wing that he realizes he went too far.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He apologizes desperately as he backs away, because he didn’t mean to do that, he’s terrified, he wants to go home, he wants to get out of there. He doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life fighting in a cage for people who have decided they had a right to take him from his family and use him like he was their property.

The angel is coming towards him now and Kurt doesn’t know what to do– but then, all of a sudden there is fire and explosions and apparently a short circuit, and while he’s still unable to move because he hasn’t fully processed what just happened, the angel is already flying away to get out of the cage.

He follows shortly after, and when he’s out and turns around there’s a man with a gun pointed at him and he’s sure this is it– until a woman appears out of nowhere and knocks the man out. And now she’s telling him to come with her and Kurt doesn’t have the strength to refuse because he’s sure this means his prayers have been answered.

It’s not until they’re both outside and she once again knocks out a man that was a threat to them, that he realizes who the woman is. 

The hero.

And somehow he just knows that there’s something coming, something big. And she takes him to a weird place where someone takes his picture– which looks really good, in his opinion– and in the future, when he remembers what came after that, it all seems to appear merged together into one big memory that changes really fast– like a quick succession of moving snapshots.

Xavier’s School. Hank McCoy. Jubilee. Scott. Jean.  Friends. Fun. Disaster. Scott’s brother.Apocalypse. Danger. Hiding. Animal, beast, man. Rescue. Flying. Angel. Fighting. Save them, save them, save them! 


And then, once the darkness that had engulfed him after he’d teleported everyone out of the jet finally disappears and Kurt regains consciousness, it’s over. Just like that, it’s over. Apocalypse is defeated and they can finally go home.

Home. That’s what Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters becomes: his home. His safe haven. A place where he can live with people who are just like him– well maybe not just like him, but at least this time he can truly, completely be himself. No secrets, no fear. Yes, this is what home feels like.

It was no secret that [Y/N]’s life had been an easy one. The only child of the marriage between a school teacher and a librarian, her life had been plagued by normalcy from the moment she was born. She attended a normal school where she had a small group of friends who weren’t popular by any means, but who also weren’t different enough to get picked on by other students.

[Y/N] was an average person living an average life.

She wasn’t complaining, of course. Living an average life was something only privileged people complained about, but there were moments when she wished– hoped– for something a little bit more interesting for herself. Something better. Something bigger.

To say the least, this was not what she meant.

The first time she noticed something was wrong was the day after she’d kissed Marcus Johnson in the school parking lot. The kiss had been bad– so bad– because my God, that boy was a wet kisser if she’d ever seen one. She didn’t even know people were able to produce that amount of saliva during a kiss. Still, the worst part had been when they pulled away and she realized that Marcus didn’t show even the smallest hint of displeasure– but instead, he looked very pleased and content with the way things had happened.

“We could take this back to my house… my parents won’t be back for two hours.” He’d told her in what she knew was his charming voice, because that voice had been a big part of the reason why she was standing with him at that particular moment– and it also didn’t hurt that he was so incredibly good looking.

But that kiss had to have been the worst of her life, and to top it all she’d felt nothing. Not even the normal butterflies she got every time she was slightly nervous about something– there was absolutely nothing

Nada. Zero. Sorry Marcus, but your looks and beautiful, deep voice just weren’t enough.

“You know what?” She said apologetically with a small smile. “I really need to get home, so…” The hint was pretty clear, and she hoped Marcus was able to get it. He was a nice and respectful guy– another big reason why she’d agreed to meet him– but there was just nothing there.

To her relief, Marcus did get the hint. She couldn’t help but feel slightly bad when he nodded and his shoulders slumped.

“Right, right, of course.” He walked back a few steps. “Maybe we could– um–” He scratched the back of is neck awkwardly. “I don’t know. We can still be friends, right?” She smiled and wished the earth would swallow her whole. She didn’t want to make him feel bad because he truly was a lovely person, but she’d confirmed seconds ago that she didn’t really like him as something other than a friend. So she just nodded, patting his arm in what she intended to be a comforting manner but wasn’t because it looked like felt sorry for him– which she kind of did, but she didn’t want be so obvious about it. It was too late; her hand was already there so now she had to go along with it and pretend it had been a good idea.

“Of course we can.“  And that was it. Marcus went home and she did too, mentally screaming because the moment had been so awkward she wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear for the next few days.

She couldn’t do that, of course, so she just went home and threw herself oh her bed, burying her face on her pillow. And now it was time to begin preparing herself for tomorrow, when she would have to face the questions of her friends and worst of all, the fact that she shared her first and last classes with Marcus.

Was there a way to avoid the awkwardness? Absolutely. Handling it like a mature, objective adult who knew that sometimes two people just didn’t click and things between them didn’t work out was the solution– but she wasn’t a mature, objective adult. She was a teenager in High School who got embarrassed about the tiniest things while her brain chanted "DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!” every time she made a small mistake. So of course, she was dreading going to school tomorrow.

The next morning she greeted her friends like she did every day, and when the bell rang they parted ways to their respective classrooms.

[Y/N] dragged her feet, trying to not be too obvious in how much she was dreading to get to class. When she reached her door she peeked inside before going in, and sure enough there was Marcus, sitting in his usual spot, looking down at the paper she knew he was doodling on. 

He always did that.

She took a deep breath and steeled herself, internally wishing he didn’t notice her going in, but she knew that was near impossible. She was now officially the only student that wasn’t inside, and opening the door to go in was bound to draw attention to her no matter how hard she wanted it not to.

That’s why she was astounded when she walked in, and not a single person looked her way. She walked to the empty desk in the last row and sat down, half confused and half grateful for the miracle that had just happened before her eyes.

Marcus didn’t notice her– or at least he pretended not to. And she was fine with that. She hoped with all her heart that this continued for the rest of the class, and maybe if she was lucky, the rest of the day as well.

The class passed without leaving a great impact on her– she didn’t like the subject and it wasn’t really interesting anyway.

She found her friends by her locker, waiting for her to tell them a little bit more about what had happened the day before.

“Oh my God, [Y/N]. Marcus is coming this way right now. I thought you said he got the hint?” One of her friends whispered with wide eyes, but before she could answer she felt a soft tap on her shoulder. She steeled herself and turned around with a smile.

“Marcus. How are you?” [Y/N] asked with a pleasant smile, but the tension was palpable. Behind her, her friends looked at each other before slowly walking away.

“I’m fine. How are you, though?” He asked with an expression she could only classify as concern– which threw her off balance.

“What? Uh… I’m fine…” She replied with a confused frown, wondering why was he acting like he’d been the one who rejected her yesterday.

“I figured I should ask since you missed class just now– and maybe you needed to borrow my notes because–” Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

“Missed class? I was right there in my seat. What are you talking about?” Marcus looked like she’d grown a pair of horns, and she looked around to check if maybe he was pulling a prank on her– which would be a rather weak one, to be honest.

“You– what? No, you weren’t. I never saw you coming in and I definitely didn’t see you in your seat–” [Y/N] rolled her eyes.

“Marcus, is this a joke? Because it’s a pretty bad one.” She closed her locker. “I have to get to class. See you.”

She didn’t give him a second glance once she walked away, but if she had, she would’ve noticed that Marcus was rooted to the spot with an absolutely flabbergasted expression on his face.

Her second class passed without much trouble– her teacher asked her to answer a question and she got it right, and after that she got paired up with a random classmate to do a quick project.

By the time lunch had already been over for a while, she realized that there was something really strange going on. On her way to the bathroom, she was stopped by the teacher of the first class she’d had today.

“[Y/N], may I have a word?” The teacher asked and she nodded, wondering what it could possibly be the reason behind this. She wasn’t the best in that class, sure, but she always passed the tests and did the work.

“I would like to know why you were absent in my class today. I’m sure you had a good reason but since you haven’t missed any of my classes before and you seem to be okay right now…” [Y/N]’s expression morphed instantaneously into an almost comical confusion.

“What… are you talking about? You know, Marcus Johnson told me the same thing today. I know no one noticed me when I walked in, but I was there during the whole class!” She didn’t mean to snap, but it was seriously worrying that people ignored her so much that they hadn’t realized she was in the room with them. “Here.” She pulled out her notebook and showed her what she’d done during her class earlier. “See, I even highlighted what you said was going to be in the next test.” The woman looked at the notes with a deep frown and then back at her.

“I aplogize, [Y/N]. I must have been distracted and I didn’t… notice you sitting in the back.” Weirdly enough, it didn’t seem like she believed her own words.

“It’s fine.” She replied, failing to hide her distrust as she put the notebook back in her bag. The teacher walked away looking very disconcerted, and by now she knew there was no way that there wasn’t anything weird happening. She just didn’t know what, exactly. Not yet, at least.

She was unable to find Marcus before their last class of the day, and she wasn’t able to talk to him until it was over. When the bell rang, she quickly grabbed her stuff and walked behind him.

“Marcus!” She yelled after him. He turned around with a frown and walked back to her.

“Yeah?” He asked looking down at his shoes, clearly still uneasy about the day before.

“You know you said you didn’t notice me today? Well, guess what? The freaking teacher didn’t notice I was there either. Is this some kind of prank everyone is in except me?” Marcus shook his head and lifted his hands.

“[Y/N], I don’t know about the teacher but I swear I didn’t see you. I looked around the classroom twice and I swear you weren’t there.”

“What? That’s just stupid. Look– Jenny! Come here.” [Y/N] motioned to a brunette girl to come closer with her hand, and she began walking towards them both. “You’ll see,” she told Marcus “Jenny was sitting right next to me today.”

“Hey guys.” Jenny said with a bright smile. “Hey [Y/N], I missed you in class today.” [Y/N]’s smile disappeared faster than the speed of light.

“What?” She asked through gritted teeth, looking slightly frantic. “Jenny… I was sitting right next to you.” Jenny looked at her at then at Marcus, no doubt believing they were trying to make some kind of joke.

“No… you weren’t. What’s going on?” [Y/N] took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“Jenny, you snorted at something Ben said and tried to hide it because you got embarrassed and hoped no one would notice. I. Was. Right. There.” Jenny’s expression turned into disbelief and she looked like she was about to say something, but instead her eyes moved between [Y/N] and Marcus while her mouth hung open slightly.

“[Y/N], I swear I don’t know what’s happening.” Marcus whispered in a pleading tone.

“What’s going on?” Jenny repeated slowly. [Y/N] sighed.

“Well, it could be two things. One: I’m losing my mind– or two: everyone else is.”

[Y/N] had foolishly believed that once she got home, her troubles would be over and she could finally find a little peace.

She was wrong.

She’d been in a terrible mood all afternoon, and of course, her parents had noticed. She’d locked herself in her room with the excuse that she had so much homework to do, but she knew her parents hadn’t believed her. It didn’t matter anyway, because they knew it meant she was asking for space, so they gave it to her.

However, once the time for diner came around, they decided that they’d given her more than enough space and now she had to come down to get something to eat with them. 

Unbeknownst to her because she was terribly busy moving the food around her plate while glaring at it, her parents where having an entire conversation with their eyes– not needing to speak even a word out loud. 

“So, [Y/N]…” Her father said suddenly, pulling her out of her own thoughts. “do you want to… talk about what’s been going on with you today?”

“You know what dad? I do not.” She replied rather harshly, and regretted it almost instantly. “Sorry, dad. No, not now. It was a weird day today.” She sighed and went back to moving around her food.

“Well, honey, it’s just that we thought that maybe if you talked about it you’d feel better about it. But that’s okay too.” Her mother smiled the smile that made [Y/N] feel like everything was going to be okay no matter what, and she couldn’t help but give her a small smile in return.

“Just… all I want is for you to pretend like I’m not even here. I don’t feel like talking.” She muttered without looking at them before leaving her fork next to her plate to lean back on her chair. They did as she asked, and talked with each other about their days and everything they’d done. She just looked at them with a small smile, until something… odd came out of her mother’s mouth.

“[Y/N] had a weird day at school. She wasn’t feeling all like herself today. I hope it passes soon.” Her mother frowned sadly and her father nodded in agreement. [Y/N] let out a small laugh and looked at them.

“It’s okay mom, you didn’t have to take it that far.” She shook her head. “I calmed down, I want to tell you about my day now.” But to her surprise, her mother completely ignored her. “Ha, ha, mom. Really, I’m better now.” Her mother didn’t even look at her, she even went as far as say something to her father completely unrelated to her. “Mom. This isn’t funny.” Nothing. “Mom?” She looked to the other end of the table. “Dad, tell her to stop, this isn’t funny.” Her emotions quickly turned into something much darker when she realized her father was completely ignoring her as well. She felt her eyes glistening with fresh tears. “Mom, this isn’t funny anymore.” She whispered but her mother still didn’t even look her way. “Please, stop it.” Neither of the adults even turned to take a look at her– even though her distress was obvious. “Why are you doing this? Stop– I can’t breathe.” She clutched her chest and tried to take deep breaths, but she was desperate and it was already hard to do so because of her sobs. 

She couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t understand why her parents where doing this to her when they could clearly see that she was in pain because of it. They continued eating as if nothing was happening, smiling at each other. After a moment, her panic made way for another emotion: fury. 

“STOP!” She screamed with all the force in her lungs as she banged her hands on the table, turning the glasses over and spilling liquid all over the table. Finally, her mother turned to her with an horrified expression, covering her mouth with her hand. “Why did you do that?” She sobbed as tears fell freely down her cheeks. “I told you to stop! Why didn’t you stop?”

“[Y/N] what– baby, why are you crying? When did you–” She couldn’t even finish the sentence before she was up on her feet moving towards her daughter to hold her in her arms as she cried desperately. 

“Why did you do that? Why did you keep ignoring me?” She asked as she clung to her mother and buried her face on her stomach. 

“Ignoring you? Baby, what’s–” She looked at her husband, perplexed, only to find him staring back at them both with a troubled expression on his face. “ [Y/N], you weren’t there. One second I was wondering if you were alright in your room and the next you were screaming–” She grabbed her daughter’s face and forced her to meet her eyes. “And suddenly it was obvious that you were here, but you hadn’t been a second ago. I– I don’t know what came over me.”

“What?” [Y/N] asked breathlessly, pulling away. She turned around. “Dad?” The man in question just shook his head and took a deep breath.

“I don’t know– you were talking? And then you said something and then… you weren’t here anymore. And I knew you weren’t here. And then… the next second… you… were.”

They all remained silent while [Y/N] tried to calm down, while her mother caressed her hair with gentle hands. After a while, her sobs subsided and all that was left were some sporadic shuddering breaths.

“Do you feel better now?” Her mother asked looking down at her with a concerned expression. She nodded and pulled away as she dried her tears with her sleeve. “I don’t know what happened.” She continued, looking at her husband. “Do you think it could be–” [Y/N]’s mother was cut by the sound of three sharp knocks on the front door.

“Are either of you expecting someone?” She asked and both [Y/N] and her father shook their heads. “I’ll be right back.” 

[Y/N] looked at her father with a frown, before leaning back just enough to hear her mother and the stranger talking a little bit better.

“Yes? Is there anything I can do for you?” She heard her mother asking in her characteristic pleasant voice.

“Ah, yes, ma'am. Sorry for the hour, I was supposed to get here earlier but my car broke down and I had to– you probably don’t care about that.” [Y/N] bit her lip to stop herself from laughing; she could picture her mom perfectly right now, glaring at the man enough to make him so uncomfortable he coughed to diffuse the tension. “My name is Hank McCoy, I was sent here by Professor Charles Xavier. I want to talk to you about your daughter [Y/N]. I realize you have no reason to trust me but–”  [Y/N] rolled her eyes and was in the process of shaking her head at this man until the moment he spoke her name. Her eyes widened and she looked at her dad, who seemed as confused as she was. But what she truly wasn’t expecting was her mother immediate response.

"Come on in.”

[Y/N] was shocked to say the least– unable to move from the chair she was sitting on. A moment later, her mother reentered the room with a tall, young man with glasses dressed in a casual suit behind her. Both she and her father stood up at her mother’s sharp look.

By now there was no point in trying to deny that this was, officially, the weirdest day in [Y/N]’s life.

“This… is Dr. Hank McCoy.”

“Yes.” The man said with a smile, but it quickly vanished. “I… I don’t remember telling you I was a Doctor.” He muttered. [Y/N]’s mother rolled her eyes.

“You didn’t have to. I know who you are. You came to town two months ago and talked to a friend of mine about her daughter, and she told me all about it. She was rather proud.” Dr. McCoy’s expression of surprise was short lived, instead replaced by a pleased smile.

“Oh yes, I remember her. It isn’t always that easy to talk with parents about this specifically, so it’s very nice to meet people who are so accepting about their children.”

[Y/N] could only look back and forth between the man and her mother, wondering what on Earth what going on and why did it seem that everyone knew and no one wanted to tell her. The breaking point was her father’s face: he was nodding at what the McCoy man was saying like he knew exactly what he was talking about.

What the fuck!” She shrieked suddenly. Her mother’s eyes widened and she gasped in horror.

“[Y/N]! Language!” She scolded, blushing furiously.

“Don’t ‘language’ me! What’s going on? Why does everyone know what the heck is happening but me?” She was rightfully furious– and if looks could kill, the doctor would be six feet under by now.

“Um– [Y/N], can I call you that?” He asked and she nodded, still glaring at him. “I can explain everything to you, but I think it might be best if we sit down.”

“I’m a mutant.” She repeated the doctor’s words, thinking they would feel less weird if they came from her own mouth. They didn’t.

“Yes, that’s right. Your mutation was activated by what Charles and I believe to be a stressful situation that made you feel an emotion or desire strong enough to be a catalyst. At least, that’s the most plausible explanation since you’ve already gone through puberty, which is when many mutations have activated for others.” 

“Wait, wh–” Her face paled before she groaned and buried her face on her hands in embarrassment. 

“So, her mutation is… invisibility?” [Y/N] ‘s father asked as her mother rubbed her back and asked her what happened.

“Well, not exactly. Instead of invisibility it’s more like…” He fumbled with his hands for a moment. “Crypsis.”

“Which is a fancier word for camouflage– which I’m pretty sure is the one you actually wanted to use.” [Y/N] said rolling her eyes. “And I know what ‘stressful emotion or desire’ caused it– it happened this morning during my first class.” She snorted and threw her head back. “Figures. I am a mutant and my ability is literally disappearing in the background.” She then took a deep breath and lifted her palms up, meeting Dr. McCoy’s eyes. “You know what? I refuse to complain about this. I’ve seen the news, there are people out there who are being killed because they’re mutants. My mutation is going unnoticed. I embrace it and love it and accept it. It’s all good. It’s all good.” The man gave her a tight, nervous smile and she returned it before looking away.

“Which leads me to the actual reason why I’m here.” He picked his leather briefcase from the ground and pulled a couple of papers and fancy looking brochures, extending them to her mother. She grabbed the papers and passed some to her father, while [Y/N] looked at the ones she was holding. 

Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Wow, this place is beautiful.” [Y/N] breathed out in amazement. Hank smiled, this was a very good sign. 

“Are you saying–” Her mother began as a smile began forming on her lips. 

“Yes, we would like for [Y/N] to become a student at the School. Of course, in order to do that, she would have to move to the mansion, which, as you can see, works like a boarding school. She would learn every subject on her current’s school syllabus, but most importantly, she will be taught control of her powers.”

“Yes!” Her mother exclaimed excitedly. “Oh, baby, look at this place.” She fawned over the pictures. 

“I’m so– the wh– I don’t–” [Y/N] mumbled incoherently. “I have a life here. I can’t just leave everything behind and move away! Mom!” She cried out. “I have my friends…” She whispered. 

“[Y/N]…” Her father spoke, draping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. “We know you have a life here. But look at this objectively. You disappeared twice today, without even realizing it. You have to learn how to control your power.”

“I…” She coughed to stop her voice from breaking as her eyes watered. “I guess you’re right. Um, if you excuse me.” She stood up and left the room without saying a word, the sounds of her steps slowly becoming weaker as she reached the top of the stairs. It wasn’t until they heard her bedroom door being closed that any of them spoke again.

“I’m sorry.” Hank apologized, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes before putting them on again. “It wasn’t my intention to make her upset.”

“Don’t worry, doctor, we know it wasn’t your fault. And she’ll go to the school, she just needs to take some time to process this. But it’s the best, we know it. And she does too. It’s just– she has a good life here. She hasn’t got any problems, she has a good group of friends, she does well in school. You understand how it could be hard to leave it all behind, at least for a while. But she has to, and she knows it too. If she didn’t believe it we wouldn’t be sitting so peacefully– she would’ve fought with you about it.”  [Y/N]’s father explained evenly. Hank nodded in understanding and stood up. 

“I will leave you all the information you could possibly need about the school grounds, the subjects we teach and the faculty, and I will leave you my card and Professor Xavier’s as well.” He shook both of their hands before they walked him to the door. 

When he’d reached the middle of the sidewalk, he turned around and walked a few steps back towards the couple. 

“This is of course up to you– but if you want my opinion, I don’t think she should go to back to her school. You should arrange the transfer as soon as possible. Her power is harmless, but I would seriously advise against putting her in an enviroment where she can lose control of them, especially because we don’t know their true extent yet. With proper guidance she can learn that control, and she can come back home a lot sooner.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Her mother said with a warm smile. “We’ll keep that in mind.”

Chapter Text

Any other day, the beautiful scenery outside the car window would’ve made [Y/N] stare at it in awe, unable to look away. Today was not any other day. Today it only felt dull and unworthy of her attention. 

She and her parents had been on the way to her new school– and home, unfortunately– for over an hour now. They were talking excitedly about the school in the front seats, sharing details they each had found out about Professor Xavier’s life and work– while she pretended to read a book. She wasn’t reading not because she hadn’t tried, but because she was unable to focus on the words. Her mind was somewhere else entirely; in a beautiful place where she didn’t have to leave her life behind anymore. So she just stared at the pages for some time until she remembered to turn them, because it served to keep her parents from talking to her about the way she was feeling.

In all truth, she felt awful. She knew that going to the school was necessary and that was why she wasn’t complaining– but that didn’t mean she had to be happy about it. 

Still, her mouth curved into a smile as she remembered a few days ago, when her friends had come over to her house after she called to tell them she had very important news.

“You! Are! A! Mutant! NYAAAAH!!” Tess shrieked as she flailed her arms around in uncontrollable excitement.

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. What can you do? Can you fly? Can you control fire?” Juliet asked right in front of her face with a flabbergasted expression.

“I can camouflage. Disappear. That’s my mutation.” [Y/N] answered, clearly amused by their antics. Sure, it wasn’t as cool as flying or controlling fire, but it still was a great mutation that allowed her to basically be invisible. 

Not quite– but yeah, basically.

She had to cover up her laugh with a cough at her friends’ slightly disappointed faces. They sat down next to her on her bed, one on either side.

“That’s really cool too, though. Being in places without no one knowing? Disappearing when something embarrassing happens? I sure as hell have wanted to do that more than once.” Tess said with a faraway look and Juliet instantly looked at [Y/N] with a devious smile.

“Don’t.” [Y/N] mouthed in warning, but Juliet had made up her mind already.

“Like that one time you farted super loud in front of Leon at Summer Camp?” She tried to say with a straight face, but her voice broke into laughter at the end and she threw herself back on the bed. A giggle escaped [Y/N]’s mouth, but she quickly turned serious when Tess glared at her. “Oh, man, that was the worst!” Juliet managed to say as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “BRROMP!” She mimicked with wide eyes, holding her stomach.

[Y/N] tried really hard to contain her laughter, but it was useless. She was crying alongside Juliet, unable to control herself. It had been horrible for Tess the moment it happened two years ago, but as time passed– and thanks to the fact that they never saw any of the people from camp again– it just turned into a hilarious memory. 

Tess was only able to remain stoic for a few moments before she ended up bursting into laughter as well, falling back on the bed with her two best friends.

Back in the car, [Y/N] snickered at the memory. Unfortunately, the laughter died on her throat the moment she lifted her head and finally saw what was rapidly approaching on the horizon.

Xavier’s School For Gifted Youngsters.

“Oh, there’s Doctor McCoy!” Her mother said with a wide grin, turning around her seat to look at her. “That man is so polite, waiting for us like that.”

“He sure is, mom.” She answered as enthusiastically as she could– which wasn’t as much as she wished. Still, her mother didn’t seem to notice. Or if she did, she knew [Y/N] would definitely not appreciate it if she pointed it out.

“Where do I park? Over here? Do you think that’s okay?” Her dad asked, craning his neck to look around.

“Yeah… I believe that would be alright.” Her mother answered with a nod.

The Doctor was waving his hand at them, and she slumped down on her seat, wanting to disappear.

NO! She quickly amended in her thoughts. I do not want to disappear right now!

“Mom?” She asked carefully, testing the waters. Her mother turned around with her bright smile still on. 

“Yes, darling?” She asked and [Y/N] let out a relieved breath.

“Nothing, nothing. Never mind.” She waved her off with her hand. Her mother shrugged and turned around once again as the car stopped. 

After a guided tour by Charles Xavier himself through the grounds of the school, they had returned to the front door of the mansion where her mother had teared up and held her for a good five minutes before her father had teared up and held her for a good five minutes. She’d tried hard not to cry as well, and somehow she’d managed not to– but seeing their car driving away left a hollow feeling on her chest.

This was it. No turning back now.

She sighed deeply as her parents finally disappeared from her sight and felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up to find Dr. McCoy smiling softly at her.

“You’ll be seeing them again before you even notice, don’t worry.” He said before pulling away and motioning her to the door. “Shall we?” She grabbed one of her suitcases while the Doctor carried the other.

“Wow.” [Y/N] breathed out as she entered the main hall of the mansion. Hank couldn’t help but smile from behind her before he glanced down at his watch and searched around the room for Jubilee. She was supposed to be waiting for them already. [Y/N] didn’t seem to notice something was wrong– she was busy wandering around while smiling politely at the students who looked at her.

“So, Doctor.” [Y/N] said, approaching him again. “Can you point me to the direction of my room?” Hank smiled nervously and looked around one more time, but there were still no signs of Jubilee.

“Ah, yes. Another student– Jubilee– was supposed to meet us here and lead you there. She’s really good with new people, but I don’t know what could’ve made her not come. We arranged this two days ago.” He spotted Scott coming out of a room and perked up quickly. “Just a second, I’m sure Scott knows where she is.”

“Professor!” Scott said, sprinting towards him.

“Scott, I already told you twenty times: I’m not a professor.”

“Yeah, whatever you say, Professor. Jubilee sent me. She’s really sick. She got checked already but she’s been throwing up all morning because of some bad food she ate last night– though she said I shouldn’t tell you that part…” He shrugged noncommittally. “Anyway, she can’t show the new student around and all that. She’s very sorry.” Hank seemed disheartened and [Y/N] wondered why he couldn’t just tell her where her room was. She didn’t need to be shown the entire place, all she wanted to do was lie down on her new bed and relax for a moment. She’d been stressed all morning– but thankfully her parents had arranged to take her to the school on a Friday, which meant she wouldn’t have to worry about classes until next Monday.

Scott then, why don’t you take Jubilee’s place and show her around.” Hank suggested with a pointed look. Scott made an almost comical face that made his reluctance very clear.

“Uhh– I would, but… I just really don’t want to.” He turned to [Y/N] “No offense.” [Y/N] looked at him for a moment before bursting out laughing.

“No problem, I wouldn’t want to do it either. Actually, I don’t even want to be shown around. So, no hard feelings.” She said with a small shrug.

“Ha! Cool. I’m Scott.” He extended his hand with a smile and she shook it.

“[Y/N].” She reciprocated the smile and pulled away.

“So… can I ask?” He questioned with a raised eyebrow and she frowned in confusion. Hank glared at him, shaking his head.

“Scott.” He warned.

“What? It’s okay if she doesn’t want to tell. I’ll tell her mine if she wants to know.” He said with a shrug and she finally understood.

Her mutation. He was talking about her mutation. She knew it was rude to ask people you didn’t know about theirs, so she was definitely going to keep in mind that this guy, Scott, didn’t have much of a filter on him.

“Oh, no– I don’t mind. I disappear.” She answered and Scott’s eyebrows rose up.

“Invisibility?” He guessed. She scrunched up her face and shook her head.

“More like the bootleg version of invisibility. I camouflage.” Hank snorted at her description but quickly covered it with a cough.

“Cool. Can I see?” Scott asked, grinning.

“Okay, Scott. That’s enough.” Hank chastised with a roll of his eyes.

“Well… I’d show you, but I can’t control it yet. I just found out I’m a mutant a week ago. That’s why I’m here.”

“Ah, bummer. I hope you show me once you can control it.” He smirked. “Now, if you excuse me… I have a… thing… to do.” He took advantage of a group of students that passed by them and left. [Y/N] shook her head with a smile before turning to Dr. McCoy.

“Doctor, I really don’t need anyone to show me around, just point me to my room and I’ll find it myself.” She said honestly and Hank shook his head.

“Wait, there’s Kurt. I’m sure he’ll–” She turned around and the only thing she saw was an empty corner. “–disappear in a second.” The Doctor rubbed his forehead and she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. There was no doubt he’d been trying to help her get settled as much as possible, and it all blew up on his face.

“Doctor– I mean it. Just tell me where my room is, I just want to get some rest. Honestly.” Hank finally looked like he accepted there was no way around this, and sighed.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.” He shook his head in disappointment. “I’ll take you to your room myself.” Somewhere around her feelings of pity for him, there was a part of herself doing a victory dance because thank you Jesus Christ, he finally listened to her.

She’d been lying on her bed wide awake for around three hours now. Well, at least that’s what it had felt like. In reality, around 50 minutes had passed since she’d arrived to her new room– but it sure seemed like lot more than that.

She’d been given a rather small room, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. It meant she wouldn’t have to share it with anyone– and honestly, that was the only good thing that had happened to her in the past few days. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to meet people; she had no problem with that. But knowing there was going to be one spot in the mansion that was hers and hers alone to be in solitude whenever she wished was an enormous weight lifted from her shoulders.

[Y/N] knew that Dr. McCoy had tried to get her to meet Jubilee because meeting someone who’d been living at the school for a while meant said person was going to introduce her to at least a handful of people, and then she would make friends– or acquaintances at the very least. But now that things hadn’t worked out like he’d planned, she was just alone in a strange place where she’d only met one guy she didn’t even think would talk to her again.

She sat up on the bed with a sigh and looked down at her suitcases on the floor. She grabbed the one that contained the things she wanted to put around the room and opened it. She pulled out a couple of pictures of herself and her friends, and another of her with her parents last summer. She touched their faces with a sad expression before putting it on her bedside table, next to her pillow.

She took a few other things out– like her clock and her Polaroid camera– before realizing that right now she just wasn’t in the mood to organize her stuff. Just seeing the pictures had ruined her mood considerably, and now she just wanted to get out of that small place to get some fresh air. 

She looked at the gardens from her window for a moment and quickly made a decision. She opened the other suitcase and grabbed a light jacket, a notebook and a pen and opened the door, closing it behind her. She walked back the path she’d taken with Hank to get to her room, and found the front door pretty easily. She figured it was better to move from there instead of getting lost trying to find another door that led to the back. The rest of the students were still in class, it seemed– because there was no one to be found. She walked outside and took a much needed deep breath, throwing her head back to bask in the sunlight that was hit her face directly.

She went around the mansion until she found a nice place to sit under a tree. She opened her notebook, grabbed her pen and began writing.

Dear Tess and Juliet:

Don’t complain that I haven’t written a letter for each of you, I was going to say the same anyway and this is easier.

I got here a while ago, and right now I am sitting alone under a tree, contemplating the possibility just running away and living in one of your basements for the rest of eternity.

I’m kidding. Sort of.

I miss you.

I miss everything.

I haven’t met anyone except a guy who wore some kind of weird sunglasses, and I don’t even think that counts. We met because he was talking to Doctor McCoy and I just happened to be there wit

“Whatcha doing?” A voice spoke from above her, while simultaneously blocking the beautiful sunlight. She lifted up her head, frowning, only to find a silver haired guy looking down at her.

“What does it look like I’m doing, dude? Writing.” She said, closing her notebook to hide her words from his prying eyes. 

“Watcha writing?” He insisted and she rolled her eyes.

“None of your business, that’s what.” She retorted immediately. 

“I’m Peter. Peter Maximoff.” He said, extending his hand with a smile, as if he didn’t truly notice he was annoying her. Then, she figured it didn’t hurt to meet someone new especially since she had literally only met only one other student, so she sighed and shook his hand.

“[Y/N].” She responded, and he nodded before pulling away. “So…” She said with a look that she was sure he would easily read as I was busy doing something before you came here so why don’t you leave so I can continue?

Except he didn’t.

Peter lay down on the floor, interlocking his fingers before placing them behind his head. She looked at him in disbelief, but he had his eyes closed and didn’t even notice.

“You’re new.” He stated, mater-of-factly.

“Yeah. I just got here.” She answered, opening her notebook again since he wouldn’t be able to read what she was writing from his place on the ground.

with him. While I was writing the word “with”, this silver haired guy appeared in front of me and clearly didn’t take the hint that I wanted to be alone. He is now on the ground right next to me.

“Why didn’t you say you wanted to be alone?” Peter asked, now sitting cross-legged in front of her. 

What the fuck!” She shrieked, holding her notebook to her chest. There was no way he could’ve moved from his previous spot to his current spot without her noticing. 

“If you’d told me I wouldn’t have stayed.” He said seriously, looking at her. 

“The fuck? What are you talking about?” She managed to ask, trying to understand what had just happened.

“You wrote it. I read it.” He said, pointing at her notebook. She clutched it to her chest and looked at him, appalled.

“How the hell did you read it? Do you have like, X-Ray powers or what?” She asked, before shaking her head. “I don’t even care! Why the fuck did you think it was okay to read what I wrote? That was private! Fuck you, man!” She yelled, standing up and walking away from there as fast as she could without actually running. 

“Wait!” Peter said from behind her and the next second, he stood in front of her. She gasped, scared, and turned around to confirm that he wasn’t by the tree anymore. 

He wasn’t. He was definitely in front of her now. Something clicked on her mind and she narrowed her eyes.

Speed. Motherfucker.” She muttered before moving around him to keep walking.

“[Y/N], wait. I’m sorry.” He said, appearing in front of her again. “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to read it.” He looked serious, which was a good thing, because he should be sorry. 

“You didn’t know you weren’t supposed to read something a person was writing on their notebook while sitting alone under a tree after they made it clear they weren’t comfortable with you being there?” She asked, sarcastically. “That’s likely. Fuck off.” She walked away, leaving him standing there.

“[Y/N], I’m sorry… sometimes I don’t realize things that are obvious to others…” He confessed, ashamed. The tone of his voice was what made her stop and turn around.

Fuck it all. Now she’d made him feel bad about himself– someone she just met that even though slightly annoying, had been kind enough to introduce himself to the new girl, who he’d seen sitting alone. 

She literally just met him and now she was neck deep in a conversation she didn’t want to have. 

“No… just– it’s fine. Truth is, you shouldn’t look at other people’s stuff when it’s possible they’re private. If you want to know, ask. But I overreacted. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. It’s just that I just got here and I miss home… like I’m sure you already read on my notebook. But you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Sorry.” He looked at her for a moment before nodding and moving at a speed she wasn’t able to see to stand in front of her.

“Hi, I’m Peter.” He said, extending his hand again. “I will not read what you wrote on your notebook.” She snorted and shook his hand for the second time.

“Hi, Peter. I’m [Y/N]. I appreciate that.”

“Peter, are you sure this is a good idea? Honestly, I just want to take a shower and go to sleep.”

“That’s nonsense!” He yelled, dramatically. “You have to meet them. Besides, they’re way closer to your age than I am, and they’re cool so it’s whatever, you’ll like them.” He waved at a group of three teenagers sitting on the carpet, talking to each other. Scott, the guy she met earlier, was with them. He was resting his head on a red haired girl’s lap, apparently asleep. And next to them was an impossibly beautiful girl with a silver Mohawk. They waved back and looked at her with friendly smiles. 

“Hey guys, this is [Y/N]. She’s new, she just got here today and found out she was a mutant a week ago and also her mutation is camouflage. It’s okay, I asked if I could tell and she said she didn’t mind.” She wiggled her fingers awkwardly and they greeted her back. 

“Hi, I’m Ororo.” The girl with the silver mohawk introduced herself. 

“I’m Jean.” The red haired girl said with a smile. “And this one sleeping is–”

“Scott. I met him when I got here. Dr. McCoy asked if he could show me around and he said no.” She answered with a smile. Jean glared down at him and Ororo swatted him on the head, waking him up. 

“Hey! Why did you do that?” He complained.

“Did you seriously refuse to show [Y/N] around?” Ororo asked with an accent she couldn’t recognize. Scott frowned and rubbed his head.

“If I did, which I’m not saying it’s true– she was perfectly okay with it.” 

“True.” [Y/N] answered with a nod.

“Get off my lap.” Jean said sternly. “If you’re rude you don’t get to sleep.”

“Aww, Jean!” Scott complained, sitting up. “That’s not fair.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the couch.

“Ignore him.” Ororo said with a roll of her eyes. “Do you want to sit down with us?” She asked and [Y/N] couldn’t find inside her the strength to refuse her. They looked really nice, so it would probably be worth it.

“Sure.” [Y/N] answered and kneeled before crossing her legs. She turned around to look at Peter, but he wasn’t there anymore.

“He can’t stay still in a place for too long. We see him like… ten minutes a day.” Jean said. “He’s always moving around. Sitting down like this to just talk is like torture for him.” [Y/N] snickered and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I can see how that’s true.”

“So, [Y/N], camouflage.” Ororo said. “Is it like being invisible?”

“Well, I mean… it’s not turning invisible, but more like… adapting to your surroundings, you know? Imitating them to not be seen. It’s only happened twice– and I can’t control it yet. But from what it happened those times, apparently people also can’t notice that I’m there. It’s not only that they can’t see me, they really believe I’m not there.” 

“Woah, that is really cool.” Ororo said, honestly impressed. 

“It really is. I want to know more about it once you can control it.” Jean agreed.

“I already told her it was cool, so…” Scott said, leaning his head back against the couch– he was trying to fall asleep again, apparently.

“And what can you do? If it’s okay to ask.” [Y/N] said, looking at them with a polite smile.

“I shoot beams of energy when I open my eyes, which is why I use these glasses.” Scott said, sleepily.

“Telepathy and Telekinesis.” Jean answered nonchalantly.

“I can control any weather– like cause storms, for example.” Ororo said like it was no big deal.

“I– you–” [Y/N] tried to speak, but she’d forgotten how to use words, it seemed. “And you think my mutation is cool? What is going on with you people! You’re like– gods! You, especially.” She said, looking at Ororo. “You’re like– Thor.” She gasped. “Thororo.” Ororo looked at her for a moment before laughing so hard she fell backwards. “I mean it. Wow. You’re amazing. Telepathy, telekinesis? I am honestly so impressed I forgot how to talk like a person.” She didn’t care how she looked, gaping at them in admiration. These people were incredible. Peter was too, for that matter– but she’d been too angry at him to compliment his powers before.

Jean looked at her for a moment before looking down with a shy smile.

“Thank you.” She said, her hands fidgeting. [Y/N] realized there was something going on underneath that reaction, but knew better than to ask her– at least in front of the others.

“Thank you for talking to me, I feel like I’m sitting with superheroes.” She said, shaking her head in amazement.

“It’s too bad you didn’t meet Kurt.” Jean said as they walked to their rooms. Ororo had already reached hers and Scott had left, so now they were alone. “He trains sometimes after class. He was an acrobat in the circus before he came here, so he really likes to keep himself in shape.” [Y/N] nodded.

“I’m sure I’ll get a chance to meet him later.” She said with a smile.

“I hope. He’s the sweetest. You’ll love him, I promise. We all do. This is my room.” Jean said as they stopped. “Where’s yours?”

“Right around the corner, second door on the left.”

“You’re really close to me.” Jean said in a tone she couldn’t identify, it seemed it was half excited and half dismayed. “I can get you when it’s time for dinner, if you want to.”

“Sure, I’d love to. Thanks, Jean. You’re amazing.” She said honestly before waving her goodbye, walking to her own room. 


[Y/N] grabbed the picture her camera had just printed and waved it for a few seconds before an image of herself and her new room behind began to appear on the white paper.

and this is what my room looks like. It’s super nice and as you can see the house was made for super rich people, but Professor Xavier is actually really humble and nice. Anyway, I met three people today apart from Peter, who actually turned out to be really nice. They have THE COOL POWERS you thought I would have, and they are super nice and I really like them. 

Tomorrow I will take more pictures and maybe they’ll let me take some of

Knock, knock.

“[Y/N]? It’s Jean. It’s time for dinner.” Her muffled voice said from the other side of the door. She closed her notebook and turned off her lamp.

“Coming!” She yelled before standing up and walking to the door. “Hi.” She greeted Jean with a smile. “Let’s go.”

“You’ll finally get to meet Kurt. He’s already there.” Jean said with an excited smile. 

Once they entered the dining room, everyone stopped talking and looked at them. [Y/N] panicked, and when Jean walked away from her without even acknowledging her, she realized she’d disappeared for the third time.

Well, shit.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, focusing.

I want to be seen, I want to be seen.

She opened her eyes and looked around, but no one was paying her attention. 

“Hey, kid.” She said to a little girl that walked next to her– but she was ignored. It hadn’t worked. She closed her eyes tightly again and clenched her fists.

I want to be seen, I want to be seen, I want to be seen, I want to be seen.

When she opened them again, the only thing she saw was a blue blur and the next second she was on her back on the floor, groaning in pain, with something rather heavy above her chest.

“Owww…” She groaned, her eyes rolling back.

“[Y/N], Kurt!” She heard Jean say before the heavy weight disappeared. 

“I’m sorry!” A male voice said, but she was busy closing her eyes tightly because it seemed to alleviate the pain on the back of her head. “I vas valking and she suddenly vas in front of me! I did not see her! She vasn’t there! I’m sorry, fräulein!”

“Why are you screaming?” She asked groggily, feeling how someone lifted her up from the ground. “I want to sleep… bye…”

“Hurry, Kurt, take her to–” That was the last thing [Y/N] managed to hear and then– nothing.

What was that smell?  That disgusting, hospital smell?

Where was she? What was this place? 

“Owww…” She groaned, opening her eyes. 

“Oh, zhank God.” She heard a voice say right next to her, so she turned around to see who was speaking.

She knew that some mutants had different skin colors, but she was still surprised by the blue boy standing right in front of her. He made the sign of the cross after muttering something she didn’t catch, and kissed a small cross that was hanging from his hand. 

His three fingered hand.

Well, that was certainly unique.

Oh, there was also a tail moving behind him. And pointed ears, like an elf.

She liked elves.

“I vas so vorried I had harmed you, but zhe Doctor said you vere going to be alright. I am Kurt, Kurt Vagner. I pushed you to zhe floor by accident, because I had not seen you standing zhere. I am so sorry.” He looked scared to death, and his hands were joined, trembling slightly. Also, he had the cutest red puppy dog eyes she’d ever seen on another person.

Oh my God. This was the Kurt Jean was talking about.

She was right– he truly seemed to be the sweetest. 

“Hi, Kurt.” She said with a sleepy smile. “I’m [Y/N]. You have nothing to be sorry about. My mutation makes me disappear when I feel embarrassed because I can’t control it yet. You didn’t see me because you couldn’t, and then I appeared and we had our little bump. Nothing to worry about. I’m fine.” He let out a relieved sigh and nodded, closing his eyes. 

“Zhank God you are okay.”

“Jean talked to me about you. She wanted me to meet you when I was going to dinner– but I guess this wasn’t what she had in mind.” She said, laughing. Kurt grinned and rubbed the back of his neck. “Can I ask you something, Kurt?” She said, turning to her side to see him better. 

“Ja. Yes, you can.” He said, correcting himself when he realized she might not know any German.

“Were you praying before I woke up?” He nodded.

“I vas praying for you to be okay.”

Okay, so Kurt didn’t seem to be the sweetest. 

He was.

After their introduction, Kurt had disappeared to find Hank so he could check on her, and as she expected, everything was okay.

Except for the fact that she’d missed dinner thanks to having been unconscious for an hour– where, she’d been told, Kurt had stayed with her, praying and waiting for her to wake up. 

That little mishap had happened a week ago, and day by day, she realized Kurt Wagner was the nicest person she’d ever met– if not the nicest person she would ever meet

Coming from living all his life in Germany, there was so much he still didn’t know about American culture– and his cluelessness was nothing if not absolutely endearing. 

She’d started her classes with no problem whatsoever, quickly catching up with the other students. She had finally met Jubilee, who apologized about missing her on the first day for two days until she finally accepted that [Y/N] wasn’t angry at all. She’d been welcomed with open arms to her lovely group of friends– Jean, Ororo, Peter, Scott and Kurt– who, as it turned out, were also part of the X-Men. They also had defeated an ancient mutant who’d wanted to rule the Earth and went by the Name of Apocalypse, apparently, who also had four followers who were his Horsemen, and Ororo had been one of them.

Just your everyday, regular-group-of-friends stuff. 

Just like back home.

[Y/N] spent her afternoons sitting with Jean, Jubilee and Ororo under the trees. Sometimes they joined Jean with their homework, but mostly they just enjoyed the shade. 

Today, however, she’d brought her camera with her.

“Hey guys…” She said, approaching them with a shy smile. “I wanted to ask, do you want to take a picture with me? I’m sending a letter to my friends back home tomorrow and I kind of wanted them to see what you look like.” She scrunched up her face in embarrassment. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, though.”

“I like you so much!” Jubilee said, squishing her own cheeks. “You’re so cute. I totally want to take a picture with you.”

“Me too.” Jean and Ororo said at the same time, grinning widely. She returned the smiles and sat down with them, extending her arms in front of her. Jean and Jubilee rested their chins on her shoulders and Ororo rested hers on the top of her head. 

“Okay, ready? One, two, three!” They heard the picture being taken and a second later it came out of the camera. She waved it on her hand and laughed out loud when it finally appeared.

“I knew you were all going to pull a face!” Jubilee said, grinning. 

“You’re one to talk!” Jean said, pointing at Jubilee on the picture. “Look at you!” [Y/N] shook her head with a fond smile.

“It’s perfect. Thank you, girls.”


“Vhat vere you doing, did you take a picture? Can I have a picture too?” Kurt asked, appearing out of nowhere, as usual.

“Jesus H. Christ, Kurt!” [Y/N] breathed out, holding her chest. “You scared me to death!”

“Can you please not use zhe Lord’s name in vain?” Kurt asked shyly.

“Oh, right, of course. Sorry.” She said, shaking her head. “Yes, we’re taking pictures. And yes, I will take one of you but only if you get it with me. I want to send them to my friends back home so they can meet you… sort of.”  Kurt looked so excited she wanted to hug him– but Jean had said it was very common to want to hug him all the time.

“Okay, pull me up.” She ordered, extending her hand to him. His tail wrapped itself around her arm instead, pulling her up without any trouble.

“Woah, your tail is super strong.” She said, fascinated. Kurt nodded.

“Ja, it can hold my weight and more.” She raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed.

“Okay, come closer.” She said, placing the camera in front of their faces. “At the count of three, smile.” He nodded. “One, two, three!” 


The picture came out and she pulled it out before pointing the camera at them again.

“And now another one. This one will be for you.” Kurt beamed at her before she counted to three again and snapped the second picture. She pulled it out and gave it to him. “Wait a second, it’ll appear.”

“Danke, [Y/N].” He said with a thankful smile.

“Don’t mention it.” She waved him off with a grin before looking at the picture on her hand. Her smile vanished. “Peter, you little shit.” She murmured.

The picture was really nice, she and Kurt were grinning widely and they looked really good, but right next to him, Peter stood with his tongue out and his eyes crossed.


Dearest [Y/N]:

It is us, Tess and Juliet (Tess writing), your friends from back home whom you seem to have abandoned in favor of new, cooler, mutant friends.

Oh, the agony! The pain! The misery! THE SHAME!

Also: I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I’ve come to the conclusion that you should introduce me to Peter. He’s so cute. (Me as in Tess, of course.)

Okay, so, things have been relatively normal around here for the past FOUR MONTHS. We can’t believe it has been that long already. Pretty much everyone knows you’re a mutant so literally no one talks about it anymore, which is cool because it got old really fast.

Weekly letters are cool and all that, but we miss your beautiful face. We hope you miss ours as well.

Anyway, we just wanted to tell you that we totally love the ginormous crush you’ve got on Kurt


She had to reread that last part twice again to finally believe she hadn’t made a mistake. 

“A crush on Kurt?” She said out loud. Thankfully she was in her room, so no one could hear her. “I don’t have a crush on Kurt! That’s so silly!” She shook her head, scoffing. “A crush on Kurt– yeah, right.” She threw the letter inside her drawer and stared at it for a moment, frowning. “Nah.“ She said, standing up from her bed to leave her room.

She walked around the mansion, trying to find a way to distract herself. Her feet led her to the library, and she found herself sitting on a comfortable chair with War and Peace open on her lap.

She didn’t even read the first sentence before her mind wandered off to her friends’ letter.

The ginormous crush you’ve got on Kurt.

She did not have a crush on Kurt. She just liked him so much because it was impossible not to, and he had already become her closest friend on the group, along with Jean. That didn’t mean she had a crush on him, he was just a wonderful friend.

Of course that was it.


“Hello [Y/N].” Kurt greeted her with a smile, perched on top of her chair looking down at her, his tail moving behind him. She wasn’t even fazed, she’d gotten used to his sudden appearances months ago.

“Hey, Kurt.” She answered absentmindedly, looking out the window at the gardens.


Now he was sitting down cross legged in front of her legs, looking up at her with a frown.

“Is zhere somezhing vrong?” 

She got pulled away from her thoughts and looked at his eyes. God, she loved the way his eyes turned gold when the light hit them just right– it was magical.

“No, Kurt, I was just thinking. Nothing important. How was your day?” She asked with a smile, her heart swelling when he began telling her everything he’d done. She loved when he got excited and his tail moved wildly behind him, and how he made gestures with his hands and the way he looked at her when he expected her answer and how plump his lips were and how beautiful–


She did have a crush on Kurt.

After they left the library, Kurt had walked back to [Y/N]’s room with her, talking about everything and nothing like they usually did. 

“Goodnight, Kurt. Sleep well. I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast.” She’d said with a lovely smile before going in, leaving him standing there for a moment, staring wistfully at her door. 

He had to stop doing that. 

He teleported to his room and threw himself on the bed, burying his face on his pillow. His hand reached to open his nightstand drawer, sticking his hand in in search of something. He finally took out a small picture and brought it back to him. He smiled at his happy face next to [Y/N]’s before caressing it carefully with his finger.

She was the most beautiful and wonderful girl he’d ever met.

A couple more months passed while [Y/N] tried to handle her crush on Kurt as best as she could– which wasn’t that well.

Today it was Sunday, and she’d woken up way later than everyone. She’d missed lunch, and now she was eating a cereal bar on her way the nearest couch she could find, because Sunday was lazy day.

She got lucky, the nearest couch was currently being occupied by Kurt Wagner himself. She smiled and walked up to him, chewing on the last bit of her bar. 

“Hey.” She greeted, lifting up his legs so she could sit down, placing them on her lap once he did. “What are you reading?”

Die Verwandlung, by Franz Kafka. Zhe Metamorphosis.” 

“No way, is it in German?” He nodded with a smile. “Can you read some of it to me? I never heard you speaking German. Pleeease.” 

“You really vant me to?” She nodded enthusiastically. “Okay, I vill.” He put a bookmark on the page he was reading before going back to the beginning. He cleared his throat and she looked at him, completely focused. “Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheueren Ungeziefer verwandelt. Er lag auf seinem panzerartig harten Rücken und sah… ” She had no idea what he was saying except for the general idea she remembered from having read the book, but that didn’t matter at all. 

She found herself mesmerized by him, unable to look away. From his ears to his eyes to the scars he had inflicted on himself. 

She remembered the first time he’d told her their origin, and how she hadn’t been able to stop herself from crying. He’d held her in his arms for a long time, and before pulling away he’d kissed her temple.

She looked at all of him, admiring how incredibly beautiful he truly was. So nice, so gentle, so smart, so talented. 

So easy to love.

She didn’t have a crush on Kurt anymore… she was in love with him.

[Y/N] had been trying to deal as best as she could with the knowledge that her feelings for Kurt were of a very deep romantic nature for days– but right now the most important thing was that she could now say with pride that she was able to completely control her powers. She could appear and disappear whenever she liked, for as long as she liked without even having to think about it twice. The only thing was that, according to the Professor, that wasn’t the true extent of her power. Apparently, with proper training she would be able to do a lot more they still hadn’t discovered– but she still felt completely satisfied with herself.

Jean was immensely interested in her mutation, because whenever she disappeared, Jean was unable to read her thoughts as well. That, Professor Xavier had said, signaled that her powers were much deeper than she’d originally thought. 

She was walking around the gardens with her camera around her neck when she noticed her favorite blue boy sitting in a tree, his tail hanging down. She hurried her steps and quickly snapped a picture of him looking thoughtful. 

God, he was so beautiful. 

“Hey Kurt.” She greeted, and he smiled down at her. “Take me up there with you, I can’t climb trees anymore. I’m old.” She complained dramatically, and he laughed before teleporting down to the ground in front of her. They hugged and a second later she was above the ground, standing on top of the branch he’d been sitting on. 

“Ah, jeez!” She said, grabbing another branch to steel herself. She lowered herself down slowly before sitting down, the branch between her thighs. Kurt sat down way faster, showing his natural agility. “Here, look.” She said once she knew she wasn’t going to fall down. She pulled out the picture she’d just taken of him from her little bag and handed it to him. “I took it just now. It looks really good, don’t you think?”

“Ja, it does.” He said with a little smile before handing it back. She put it away on her bag with a frown; Kurt was acting off today. He had a distant look on his face and his eyes looked a little puffy.

“Kurt, are you okay?” She asked softly, taking one of his hands in both of hers, caressing it softly. He looked at her for a moment before shaking his head, his lower lip trembling as his eyes filled with tears.

“Nein.” He managed to say in a whisper.

“Hey, can you take us back to my room? I think it would be better if we go there.” She said softly, still caressing his fingers. He nodded and before she realized, they were sitting on her bed. She quickly removed her camera and bag from her neck and left them behind her. 

“Kurt, come here.” She said, moving her leg to the side and opening her arms to him. He sat down between her legs and leaned into her, tail wrapping around her immediately. She didn’t know what  had happened, but she wanted to take all the pain away. Seeing him hurt was horrible. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Remember vhat I told you about zhe night Mystique rescued me?” She nodded, drying his tears with gentle fingers. “Today it has been a year since zhose men took me from zhe circus. I have not been sleeping vell zhis week because of it. It hurts to remember. I vas so scared inside zhat box.” He confessed, his voice breaking completely as tears fell down freely from his eyes. 

“Oh, Kurt, you beautiful, beautiful angel.” She whispered lovingly, kissing the top of his head. “It’s normal that you feel this way. It’s called trauma. Have you had any chance to deal with the way that night makes you feel apart from this past week?” She asked softly, rubbing his back. He sniffled and shook his head. “Does anyone else know you feel this way?” He shook his head again before burying it on her chest. “It’s okay, you’ll get through this, I promise. I’ll help you. But now, you have to listen to me.” He looked up and she dried his tears with her hand, trying with all her might to not break down in front of him. Seeing him cry had broken her heart into a million pieces. “If you can’t sleep tonight, you come here and wake me up, no matter what time it is, okay? You come straight to my room, and you wake me up. I’ll be here for you. Can you do that?”

“Ja.” He said, letting out a shuddering breath. 

“Promise?” He nodded.

“I promise.”

“[Y/N]…” She heard a distant voice saying. “[Y/N]…” Now the voice was closer, becoming clearler. It was a man. “[Y/N], vake up, please.” It was Kurt.

Wake up now!

She opened her eyes with a gasp and Kurt moved away, lifting his palms up. 

“I am so sorry, I should not have come.” He apologized, looking like he wanted to cry. 

“No, no, no. Kurt, it’s fine. Come here.” She said, scooting to the side and lifting up the covers. He got in and moved to lie on his side, looking at [Y/N] as she covered them both. He snuggled into the covers and [Y/N] felt physical pain because of how hard it was to stop herself from kissing him and holding him in her arms. “You couldn’t sleep?” She asked with a yawn. He shook his head.

“I vas asleep, but I had a horrible nightmare. I vas back on zhe box and zhey told me I vas going to die inside. I vas crying vhen I voke up.” He said and a tear rolled down his ckeek. She dried it with her thumb before moving her arm down, rubbing his arm comfortingly. 

“That was all it was, Kurt. A nightmare. You are never coming back there and I swear I will burn the whole world down before someone even tries to do something like that to you again.” She said seriously, and he knew she was being honest. “No one will ever hurt you again.” She said in a low voice a few seconds later, her eyes closing slowly.

She’d fallen asleep.

Kurt stared at her with a smile. He knew she hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but it was 2 a.m. and she’d been already sleeping before he got here. Her hand was still on his arm, and he bit down his lower lip in frustration. He didn’t want to have her hand on his arm, he wanted to have her arms around him. Earlier when she’d held him he’d felt like he belonged there, wrapped on her embrace. 

But he knew that was wishful thinking. [Y/N] only saw him as a friend, no more than Jean or Peter or Ororo. He would never become something else.

But as long as she was in his life, that didn’t matter.

He closed his eyes to try to get some sleep when suddenly, there was something pressing against him. He opened his eyes and found that [Y/N]– still completely asleep– had moved until she was against him, chest to chest. And now she’d wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer. Kurt tried to not tense up, but his eyes were wide open in surprise. It looked like she finally was comfortable, holding him close to her, until she wrapped her leg over his. Kurt let out a soft sigh as his muscled relaxed, giving himself into her completely. She groaned a little and he worried she was going to wake up, but instead, she rolled on her back until he was on top of her. She wrapped both of her arms around him and made a little satisfied sound before going still again.

Kurt’s tail wrapped itself around her leg and he buried his face on her shoulder, enjoying the feeling of safety that washed over him. Just as he was falling asleep, he realized something important. 

He didn’t have a crush on [Y/N] anymore… he was in love with her.

It was the bright sunlight on Kurt’s face that woke him up. He moaned and covered his eyes with one hand, annoyed. His tail straightened as he opened them, and only then he remembered he wasn’t on his bed. As a matter of fact, he wasn’t even in his room. The memories of the previous night suddenly flooded his mind, and he finally realized he was resting his head on top of a really soft and comfortable chest, with arms wrapped tightly around him.

He took a moment to enjoy the beautiful feeling of safety enveloping him. He’d slept wonderfully, like he hadn’t in many, many years. He had no bad dreams, and even though it hadn’t been that many hours, he felt well rested.

He looked up to look at [Y/N]’s sleeping face with a fond smile. God, he loved her. 

Yes, he did. 

And yet, the whole situation left a bitter taste on his mouth– knowing that she was only holding him in her arms because she hadn’t realized what she was doing. He wanted to be held by her because she knew he was hers and wanted to hold him because she loved him too.

Too bad that was never going to be true. And what was going to happen once she woke up and realized he was clinging to her like his life depended on it? He had no idea. 

What if she freaked out?

Okay, now he had to get out of there.

He quickly untangled himself from her, a dull ache finding home in his chest the moment his skin stopped making contact with hers. He looked her one last time with sad eyes and disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

[Y/N] woke up alone in her bed, quickly scanning the room for any signs of Kurt. He was nowhere to be found, so she assumed he’d gone back to his own bed once he’d felt better. She buried her face on the pillow, falling asleep again in seconds.

She woke up again in time for lunch, enjoying the freedom of a Saturday. She had no homework to do for Monday or Tuesday, so she was just going to take the entire day to enjoy doing nothing.

She found Ororo on her way to the dining room and greeted her with a smile. They talked about classes until they reached their destination.

“Look, Kurt’s here already.” [Y/N] said happily as said boy waved at her with a grin and pointed at two seats on his right. She nodded and smiled back.

Ororo was staring at her with an incredulous smile.

“You are not even trying to hide it anymore.” She said with a laugh.

“What are you talking about?” [Y/N] asked defensively.

“You know what I’m talking about. The fact that you like a certain blue mutant?” [Y/N] paled.

“Oh my God, am I that obvious?” She asked, covering her mouth in horror.

“You weren’t before, but you’ve been slipping a lot this past month. It’s impossible not to notice.”

“Shit, wait here for a second.” She told Ororo before running up to Kurt. Ororo tried not to grin at them, but it was hard. They were both head over heels in love with each other and neither had realized how the other felt yet. [Y/N] rested her hands on Kurt’s shoulders before whispering something on his ear, and he nodded. She saw her mouth “thank you” before running back to her.

“Come with me, we’ll be right back, I promise.” She said, dragging her out of the room by her arm. She took them to an empty corridor and checked around to see if no one was listening.

“What did you say to Kurt?” Ororo asked, curious.

“To save us the seats– that doesn’t matter. When did I start slipping? When did you realize? Who else knows?” She questioned in a hushed voice.

“Calm down. Well, all of us have noticed already but we didn’t say anything because it didn’t seem like you were doing it on purpose. But it’s the little things, you see? The way you look at him when he’s not looking at you, how whenever you see something that reminds you of him you mention it immediately. The way every conversation with you somehow has been ending up with you talking about him, lately.” [Y/N] groaned and buried her face on her hands.

Great. If Kurt hadn’t noticed that she liked him as more than a friend yet, now he was definitely going to. There was no way she’d be able to restrain herself enough to stop doing what Ororo had just told her– she’d been restraining herself at an impossible rate as it was. If she was like that when she was holding back, she didn’t want them to know how she would be if she wasn’t.

“Fuck.” She cursed under her breath.

“You should tell him.” Ororo said and, for a moment, [Y/N] thought she was joking. 

She wasn’t.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Why not? I think–”

“I can’t tell him, Ororo! It’ll put a strain in our friendship. I won’t lose him because of this. It’s not worth it.”

“And have you considered that maybe he… likes you too?” Ororo suggested but [Y/N] wasn’t having it. She looked at her in disbelief and rolled her eyes.

“Now you’re being ridiculous. Let’s go get lunch.” She said and walked away, leaving Ororo alone, shaking her head in disappointment.

“God, it’s painful to watch them.” Scott grimaced, looking at Kurt and [Y/N] sitting together under a tree. Kurt had his head on her lap and she was taking pictures of him.

“God, yes.” Jubilee agreed. “How can they not realize they like each other? Can’t we do something? Give them a little push?”

“No. It’s better to let them realize about their feelings on their own. But what we could do is take a trip to the mall. We haven’t gone out in a while.” Jean suggested with a small smile.

“Ah, yesssssss.” Scott celebrated. “That’s a wonderful idea.” He kissed Jean’s cheek, making her blush. The others looked away, snickering at her embarrassment.

“Okay, let’s go tell the lovebirds.” Ororo said, walking ahead.

“I’m keeping all of these. I won’t give you even one. I want them all.” [Y/N] said teasingly as she put away another picture of Kurt. “Okay sit up, I want a picture of us together.” Kurt did and she placed her legs on either side of him, leaning her front against his back. “Okay. One, two, three.”

Another picture came out of her camera and she grinned, resisting the urge to squeal in happiness. First, because being so close to Kurt was basically heaven, and second, because she had a lot of new pictures of him she could look at when she felt especially miserable about her love life.

“Hey guys.” Ororo said as she approached them– Jean, Scott and Jubilee right behind her. “We were thinking about going to the mall, what do you think?”

“Zhe mall! I love zhe mall!” Kurt said, his face lighting up immediately. “[Y/N], you have to say yes and come vith us. Zhis would be zhe second time I visit a mall in my entire life.” She looked at him lovingly before nodding. 

“Yes, of course I want to go.”

The trip to the mall had been a great one. They had visited many shops, eaten greasy food and had tons of fun, but now it was time for them to go back to the mansion. At some point, [Y/N] and Kurt had walked ahead of the others, and now they were talking alone about anything that came to their minds.

Not that they were complaining.

“Oh. My. God! Kurt, look! It’s you!” [Y/N] squealed excitedly as she pointed at the display on the window of a small bakery. 

“Vhat?” Kurt questioned, confused. There were only breads and cupcakes there, how could she say he was– oh.

“Look, right there! It’s a cupcake with red paper and blue frosting! It’s you!” She looked so excited that Kurt couldn’t help but grin widely at her.

“Ja, it looks delicious. Zhanks for zhe comparision.” He said with a laugh and she gasped and turned to him with wide eyes.

“I have to get it for you. I must. Wait here.” Before Kurt could even try to stop her, the bell on the door signaled that she was inside already.

“What’s she doing?” Scott asked Kurt with a frown as he and the others reached him.

“She said zhat blue cupcake is me and she must get it for me.” Scott looked at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. Kurt frowned at him and looked at the girls for an explanation, but they were only looking at him with knowing looks. “Vhat is it?” He asked, confused.

“You seriously don’t see it?” Jubilee asked with raised eyebrows.

“See vhat?”

“[Y/N] likes you.” Ororo said with crossed arms, unable to take one second more of this torture. They had to realize what the other felt once and for all. “Everyone knows it. She’s obvious.”

Kurt looked like he’d been slapped. There was no way [Y/N] liked him. She was friendly and treated all of them the same way she treated him– well, she was a little closer to him than the others, but that was it. Nothing else. They had to be reading too much into it.

“No, zhat’s not true.” Kurt said, shaking his head in disbelief. “[Y/N] is very friendly. She does not like me like zhat.”

“Sure.” Scott scoffed. “Jean, tell him.”

“You are not dragging me into this. I already told you, it’s none of my business.“

"Here she cooooomes…” Jubilee said suddenly in a sing-song tone. [Y/N] grinned at her and handed her a white box with six regular chocolate cupcakes inside.

“These are for you and me, and one to give Peter when we get back. And this one…” She handed Kurt a silver cardboard box with a fancy blue ribbon. “Is for you. Blueberry cupcake. Just like you.” Kurt smiled and thanked her as he accepted the gift and held it carefully on his hands. She grinned back and turned to the others, who were looking at her with knowing grins. She narrowed her eyes. “Let’s go, shall we? We can eat them in the car.” She said, walking ahead of them. Scott opened his mouth to speak but she jabbed a finger at him. “Not a word, Summers.”

“Whatever you say.” Scott replied, lifting his palms up in surrender.

They were all walking down an empty street together, chatting and laughing about whatever funny thing one of them said. [Y/N]’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and she realized she hadn’t been out like this with friends in many months. It felt wonderful.

And then, of course, something just had to go wrong.

They were getting closer to the place Scott had parked the car when they heard the footsteps behind them.

“What are you all doing with a freak?” They heard someone say mockingly, and they turned around to find a group of four men who looked about six or seven years older than them.

“Jean, don’t.” Kurt quickly whispered to his friend, knowing she was about to do something she might regret later. Probably not, though, but they weren’t supposed to use their powers on civilians.

“What the fuck did you just say, you piece of shit? Why don’t you come here and say that to my face?” Kurt’s eyes widened in surprise at the sound of [Y/N]’s voice behind him. She walked ahead of them directly towards the other group.

The guy they assumed was the one who’d spoken before looked at her with raised eyebrows and an amused smile.

“I wasn’t talking about you doll, I was talking about the blue monkey standing right there.” He nodded towards Kurt, still smiling and crossing his arms. His friends looked as amused as he was. “I bet you’re one of them too, but at least you look normal. I have no problem with you.” [Y/N]’s blood was boiling to the point of explosion, and she just managed to look at him with an incredulous expression.

“[Y/N] it’s okay. I zhink ve should go.” Kurt said in a small voice and she recognized the resignation on it.




They had a wonderful afternoon together and it was not going to be ruined because someone made the most amazing person she’d ever met feel bad about himself.

“Did we say you could speak, freak?” Another guy yelled at Kurt and by now, [Y/N] was ready to kill. “You don’t speak unless we allow it. Be thankful we’re letting you walk around town like normal people do. You should go back to the circus with the other freaks, where you belong.” The others agreed with him fervently.

[Y/N] immediately turned around to looked at Kurt– finding him standing still, serious. But she could see in his eyes that the fact that they’d talked about the circus and used it against him like that had hurt him deeply. 

The words she’d spoken to him a couple of weeks before echoed loudly on her mind.

No one will ever hurt you again.

She intended to keep that promise.

“Oh, no.” Jean muttered worriedly, turning to Kurt. “The moment you see an opportunity, get her out of here.” She ordered and Kurt frowned– he didn’t completely understand what she’d meant by that.

And then, it started. [Y/N] began appearing and disappearing incredibly fast, and the group of men looked like it was impossible for them to get a grip on reality.

That wasn’t the most important part of it, though. Those guys weren’t being beat up, they were being destroyed. Their faces were bleeding everywhere, there were broken noses, swelling eyes, and two them were quickly on the ground.

“She’s getting tired, get ready, she’ll stop any second.” Jean told Kurt and even though he was completely in shock, the moment [Y/N] appeared for more than one second Kurt quickly teleported next to her, grabbed her arm, and got them out before she even realized what had happened.

“I’ll take care of it, they won’t remember what truly happened.” Jean said somberly, putting two fingers against her temple as she looked directly at the men on the ground.

“What–” [Y/N] gasped, wide eyed. One second she’d been beating up a group of racists and now she was in a gigantic open field with nothing to see but grass and trees in the distance. She turned around to chastise Kurt because it wasn’t cool to teleport people away without their permission, even if he took them to a place as beautiful as this one. But the moment she saw him, the words died on her mouth. He was fumbling with his hands, refusing to look up to meet her eye. The tip of his tail was touching the ground, unmoving. She knew it was because just like when your shoulders dropped when you were sad or disappointed, his tail was also a way for him to express how he felt.

And for what she could tell, he didn’t feel very good. Of course he didn’t, she just had beaten up a group of four grown men to the point of unconsciousness in front of him. He probably now believed her to be a violent person he didn’t want to associate with anymore, because he was so nice and lovely and–

“I’m sorry, [Y/N].” Kurt apologized in a small voice, still refusing to meet her eyes.


“Kurt–” She tried to reply, to ask him what he could possibly be sorry for. If someone had to be sorry, it was her. She’d just reacted in one of the worst ways possible to a problem that could’ve been easily avoided if she had just kept her mouth shut. They would’ve kept waking, and that would’ve been it. She even knew that Kurt hadn’t wanted any trouble, and she’d gone and caused the worst kind anyway.

Yes, she was definitely the one that had to apologize to him.

“I should not have gone vith you today. If I had not been zhere, zhose men vould have ignored you all. It vas my fault.”

“What? Kurt, no, no. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who should be sorry.” [Y/N] said in a gentle voice, walking to him until their bodies were almost touching. He looked up with a frown and even though she’d tried really hard to resist the temptation, she lifted her hand to his face and caressed his cheek softly. “The fact that there are racists in the world who believe that for some reason they are above you and me doesn’t mean they’re right and it sure as hell doesn’t mean we should hide so they can hate in peace. You deserve to walk the streets without worrying about anything, especially not about people like them.” Kurt’s eyes shone with so many emotions that it was impossible for her to figure them all out– but God, how she wished she could. She wanted to be so close to him that she was able to tell everything he felt by one simple look.

Too bad that probably wasn’t going to happen. As Ororo had pointed out, she was obvious about how much she liked him, and yet he hadn’t said even a word about it. There was only one explanation for that in her opinion: that was not a can of worms he wanted open. So, as long as she didn’t confess her feelings, everything was okay. Kurt clearly didn’t want her to, so she wasn’t going to. She pulled her hand away and moved back a few steps away from him. Kurt looked at her again with those beautiful eyes, and she had to look to the side or else she would end up blurting out something she didn’t mean to.

“Zhank you for your vords.” He said softly. “It is just zhat I see zhe vay some people look at me vhen ve go out of zhe mansion. It is hard for me because I really like zhe vay I look… but I know zhere are many people zhat see me as a horrible demon.” He sighed and lowered himself to the ground, sitting cross-legged. She followed, moving to sit right in front of him, close enough that their knees touched. “I feel bad about making you go zhrough zhat today. It is hard to not feel like our day vas ruined because of me.” She looked at him like he was the most adorable person she’d ever met– which, as a matter of fact, he was.

“You could never ruin our day. You light up our days. Every day. Kurt–” She let out a dry laugh and looked away, slightly embarrassed for what she was about to say next. “You light up all my days.” She met his eyes again and discovered it was impossible to look away. It was as if there was a magnetic pull that forced her to meet his stare. “It doesn’t matter how much I miss home or if I’m stressed or angry or sad… when I’m with you, everything bad goes away.” The last words came out as a whisper, and she got lost in his golden eyes.

“[Y/N]?” He asked softly.

“Yes?” She replied, her tone just as soft.

“Do you like me? As more zhan friends?” His question caught her so off guard that her mouth fell open. 

“What?” She only managed to say, her mind going a thousand miles an hour. What was she going to do now? She wasn’t supposed to tell him about her feelings! She was supposed to keep them a secret so he wouldn’t feel like she was pressuring him into anything.

“Ororo said it to me, zhat you liked me. I said it vasn’t true because I never zhought you vere acting any different to me. But I vas zhinking about it, and I vanted to know… from you.” He looked slightly nervous– his hands were fidgeting on his lap.

He hadn’t noticed? How on Earth hadn’t he noticed? She studied him for a moment, trying to discover if he was lying to her– but of course he wasn’t. And now she just couldn’t let him believe something that wasn’t true. She had to let him know about her the way she felt about him.

“Kurt, I don’t like you.” He nodded, accepting her answer, and looked down at his hands. She frowned, trying to understand his body language. “I am in love with you.” He lifted up his head, eyes wide and mouth slightly open in surprise. “Completely in love with you. And honestly, I don’t mind that you don’t want me back, because loving you means that the thing I want the most– even more than you loving me back– is your happiness. I don’t want this to make things awkward between us, so if you don’t want to talk about it again, we won’t. And I promise that eventually I’ll find a way to move on but–”

What was this?

What was this feeling?

Why did she feel like her lungs were being squeezed and her stomach was filled with butterflies flapping their wings like crazy and why couldn’t she breathe and why did it feel like nothing else in the world would ever feel as right as this moment?


Kurt was kissing her.

Chapter Text

It was a simple kiss, really– just closed lips pressing against each other, nothing more. But it felt like everything that didn’t make sense in [Y/N]’s life had somehow fallen into place at the same time. Of course, she knew that wasn’t true, all of her problems would still be there after this– but it was impossible to think about any of them at the moment. Now it was just them together– the rest of the world was gone for the time being. 

When they pulled away, [Y/N]’s eyes were open wide in surprise. She couldn’t believe what just happened– it couldn’t be real. Kurt had not just kissed her, right after she said she was in love with him. That couldn’t have happened because if it did… it could only mean one thing.

He liked her back.

Kurt, on the other hand, pulled back incredibly slowly– lips pouting slightly and eyes closed, looking just barely out of breath. His eyes opened carefully, and when he noticed [Y/N] was staring at him incredulously, he gasped in embarrassment and leaned back, away from her.

“I– I–” He tried to say, but all of a sudden he forgot every word he knew in both English and German.

You like me too?” [Y/N] breathed out, not even bothering to mask her disbelief. She needed him to say it, to confirm it. This was something too great, too wonderful for it to be happening to her, of all people. Kurt frowned and tilted his head to the side– like he didn’t know why she’d felt the need to ask that question.

“Ja, liebe. Of course I do.” He paused for a moment. “Vell, actually… I am in love vith you, too.” He confessed in a whisper, too embarrassed to look at her.

“Kurt, look at me.” She said softly, and he complied. She looked like she’d just been told she was now a millionaire– and she felt like it too. “What does that mean? Liebe?“  She leaned closer to him without noticing, and Kurt did as well. Her eyes moved from his to his mouth, his scars, his ears, his eyes again. It made her angry that she was incapable of looking at all of him at the same time. She wanted to take him in all at once– marvel at those beautiful lips while looking at his hands, look at his tail behind him without taking her eyes off his own.

It wasn’t fair.

"It means love.” Kurt answered, his hands fidgeting on his lap. “I have been vanting to call you zhat for a long time.” He murmured in a raspy voice. [Y/N] had leaned even closer, so they were just inches away from each other now. She placed her hands on his knees to pry them open, and Kurt untangled his legs for her.

There wasn’t even a chance for them to feel awkward about the sudden intimacy of the moment– it was something they both had been craving for so long that now it just seemed like the only possible thing to do. Kurt’s legs were now open and she moved to sit on his lap, her own legs wrapping around his waist and her arms around his neck. He took a hold of her hips, rubbing her sides softly. They didn’t break eye contact for a moment, and by now they had gotten so close that their noses brushed with each exhalation.

“I’ve wanted to call you a few things for some time, as well.” [Y/N] confessed in a throaty voice, her breath mixing with his. Kurt’s grip on her hips tightened involuntarily and he shuddered. “But just today I found a new one.” She whispered, brushing her lips against his as she buried her fingers on the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Ja?” Kurt asked, closing his eyes at the beautiful sensation. “Vhat is it?” She smiled at his reaction and pecked his lips once.

“My.” She did it again. “Blue.” And again. “Cupcake.” Kurt let out a sinful moan and she gently pushed his head forward, finally connecting their lips together in the kiss they both deserved. He opened his mouth for her shortly after, and she took the lead rather quickly– it seemed that Kurt wasn’t even remotely interested in being in control. 

His hands wrapped around her back in a tight embrace. They only separated to breathe for seconds before going back to the kiss, and when they finally pulled away completely, they looked like they had just run a marathon.

[Y/N] couldn’t help but stare at him like she’d just discovered the meaning of life. Never before in her life she had a kiss like this one– and she’d kissed a couple of guys that were good kissers before. Very good kissers.

But this was something else entirely.

This was the kiss she would forever compare other kisses with– just like Kurt was the person she would forever compare other people with.

He was it.

Kurt had died and gone to heaven.

Well, not literally, but it surely was what this felt like.

It was conflicting– to want to be with her so much when his mind told him he shouldn’t– but he knew in his heart that the God he believed in wouldn’t let him be so happy about something if it wasn’t okay for him to be.

The God he believed him and to whom he prayed every night wanted him to be happy because He loved him, and Kurt couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so much bliss and so perfectly at peace with himself and everything he believed in.

Kurt loved [Y/N] more than he’d ever loved anyone in his life, so she had to had been sent by the Lord himself for him to do just that.

God had granted him what he’d prayed for his whole life. He would have never imagined it would come in the form of the most beautiful girl he’d ever met, but here she was, smiling at him.

She was it.

“I love to look at zhe clouds.” Kurt said while they were both lying on the grass on their backs. [Y/N] was playing with his hand, caressing his fingers, measuring it against hers, trying– and failing– to find the perfect way to interlock her fingers with his.

“Yeah, why is that?” She asked, trying another different hand holding approach. It didn’t work. “Dammit.” She muttered under her breath and Kurt snickered, his head turning to the side to get a better look at her.

“Because it’s relaxing.” He looked at her in amusement before shaking his head. “Liebe, I don’t zhink zhat is going to vork.” He said, clenching his jaw to not laugh out loud at her frustrated expression.

“But I love your hands– I want to be able to hold them.” She complained, rolling to the side to lean her head on his shoulder. Kurt caressed her hair while she rested her hand on top of his on his chest. “Oh my god, I got it. If I just wrap my hand around your fingers like this…” She did and Kurt closed his palm, his thumb caressing the back of her hand. She lifted her head with an open mouthed smile and leaned down to place a kiss on his lips. “I solved it.” She mumbled against his mouth. Kurt laughed and nodded.

“Ja, liebe. You did.” She smiled, very pleased with herself, and leaned into Kurt, covering half of his body with hers. He wrapped his arms and tail around her and began rubbing her back. “Vhere did you learn to fight like zhat? You vere good.” 

“I’ve been training for a few months, I wanted to show you and surprise you soon. So much for that.” She grumbled, pressing herself closer against him.

“Vell… I vas surprised. Zhank you for doing zhat. Don’t tell zhe ozhers because zhey might zhink I’ll enjoy it if zhey do it too– but I loved zhat you defended me like zhat. It felt very good.” He rubbed a particularly soft spot and [Y/N] closed her eyes.

“Mmm…” She moaned against Kurt’s neck without noticing. “You’re welcome.”

“Liebe, zhat noise you made…” Kurt murmured in a strangled voice, but she was enjoying the way he touched her so much that she missed the desperate edge on his voice.

“What’s with it, cupcake?” She asked, pressing herself even closer against him when he massaged her spine.

“Oh no, please don’t call me zhat now.” He groaned and she looked up, frowning.

“Oh.” She said, crestfallen. “Sorry, I hadn’t realized you didn’t like it.” She apologized but Kurt’s eyes widened and he shook his head fervently.

“No, no, I love it, liebe. Zhat’s zhe problem. If you make zhose noises and call me cupcake, it makes me vant to… sin.” He confessed in a whisper, looking mortified.

Sin?” She asked, slightly confused. Until– “Baby, am I making you horny?” She asked, removing herself from him and moving back to sit on the grass. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to make you uncomfortable.” Kurt looked completely dismayed that she wasn’t above him anymore.

“Nooo!” He complained. “Come back.” When she didn’t, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He sat up and moved towards her, climbed on her lap, and wrapped his legs around her waist like she’d done with him before.

She gasped in surprise, her hands moving to hold his hips without even realizing it. She’d never been with a guy who’d ever tried to do something like this– and she hadn’t even entertained the thought of it happening to her.

But fuck it if she didn’t love to have him on her lap like this.

“Ich liebe dich.” Kurt murmured before kissing her softly. She held him in her arms and kissed him back, biting his bottom lip slightly.

“Does that mean…?”

I love you.” He answered with a grin before kissing her again.

“I love you too, cupcake.”  Kurt buried his face on her shoulder and hugged her tightly.

“I love zhat. I love you calling me zhat.”  He said, kissing her neck. She sighed in contentment and caressed his hair.

“I won’t stop calling you that, then.” She rubbed his back while he rested against her. “How long have we been here? I hope the guys aren’t worried about us.”

“An hour, maybe, by how zhe Sun moved since ve got here.” Kurt answered, wrapping himself tighter around her. “I don’t vant to leave yet.” She laughed and kissed his cheek.

“Me neither. Where are we, though?”

“Two miles avay from zhe mansion. I come here vhen I vant to be alone.”

“Just two miles? We could go back on foot. It’s a nice weather to take a nice walk, don’t you think, Kurt?” He lifted his head up and scrunched up his nose in displeasure.

“I like it more vhen you call me cupcake or baby.”  He confessed offhandedly before resting his head on her shoulder again. She felt overwhelmed with adoration and only managed to hold him as close as she could.

“Do you realize what you do to me?” She asked, scratching his scalp gently.

“Vhat do I do?” He asked innocently, looking up at her.

“I adore you. You are the most beautiful, most adorable, most wonderful person I’ve ever met.” She admitted, voice thick with emotion. “You make me melt. Every little thing you do, like that cute face you did just now– all of it makes me fall more and more in love with you.” She grabbed the sides of his face, caressing his scars with her thumbs. Kurt stared at her eyes, mesmerized, unable to look away. She pulled his mouth to hers and kissed him as slowly as she could. It was hard because she wanted to devour his mouth– but the moment just wasn’t right.

“Meine liebe– mein schatz. I adore you as vell. I knew I vas in love vith you vhen you held me in your arms vhen I lie vith you on your bed after zhat nightmare, do you remember?” He asked while she left soft little kisses all over his face.

“I held you that night? All I remember is waking up and you were gone. I thought maybe you’d felt better and left.” She said, grabbing a fistful of hair before pulling on it, making him expose his neck to her. Kurt’s eyes rolled back and he sighed in pleasure when she began licking and kissing it.

“Nein. Vhen you fell asleep I vas avake still. And zhen you reached to me and vrapped me in your arms. I felt safe, like never before. And zhen you tangled your legs vith mine and my tail vrapped around you and you vere asleep, but you smiled and held me tighter. I knew I loved you zhen. And zhat night I slept better zhan I had in years. But vhen morning came I vas afraid of how you’d react… so I left.” She had stopped kissing him and now she was just looking at him, surprised.

“I thought– I was sure that had been a dream. I figured you’d left not long after I fell asleep.” She laughed. “I even wrote a letter to my friends telling them I had the most amazing dream ever with you. They know all about you, you’re pretty much everything I talk about.” She rested her forehead on his and rubbed his nose with hers sweetly. “I wish you would’ve stayed. Do you want to know when I knew I was in love with you?” Kurt nodded with his eyes closed, a content smile on his closed lips. “Remember that time you were reading The Metamorphosis in German and I sat down with you and you read some of it out loud to me? When I looked at you reading, I finally knew. I’d fallen in love with you.” She traced a scar with her fingertip. “But I wish I would’ve told you sooner. I’m just glad we’re finally together.” Her eyes widened the moment she realized what she’d just said. “I mean, if you want to be my boyfriend… but we don’t have to call this anything you’re not comfortable with.” She quickly amended.

“Hmmm…” Kurt hummed, sounding pleased. “I am [Y/N]’s boyfriend. [Y/N] is my girlfriend. Ve are a couple. Ja, ja, zhe most beautiful girl in zhe school is meine girlfriend.” He said in different tones, trying out the terms on his tongue. “I like zhat.” He concluded, grinning widely. She laughed happily and gave him a hard, quick kiss.

How was I supposed to not fall madly in love with you?”

“C'mon baby, if we start walking now we’ll be home before sunset. If we don’t you’ll have to take us there and I really want to walk with you.” [Y/N] said, trying to pull Kurt up from the ground unsuccessfully. He was pouting, looking away. “Cupcake…” She said, kneeling down in front him, grabbing his chin to make him look at her. His eyes showed how much he wanted to stay there with her a little longer. “Consider this: I’ll be kissing you all the time because I can’t get enough of you, and also, tonight you can go to my room when everyone else has gone to bed and we can fall asleep together. How does that sound?” Kurt’s mouth opened in surprise and he stood up, bringing her with him.

All zhe time. Many kisses.”

“Yes.” She whispered before kissing him passionately to seal the promise. When she pulled away, Kurt looked almost hypnotized. “Many kisses.” She reassured him and he nodded, out of breath, as she grabbed his big hand before pulling him with her. “So, which way is it?”

“[Y/N]! Look at zhis.” Kurt said, excitement clear on his face. He pecked her lips before disappearing in a puff of black smoke before her, only to appear upside down, hanging from his tail on a tree nearby. “I am upside down!” He said with extended arms and she laughed before running to him.

She aligned her mouth with his and kissed him again, enjoying how he tensed up above her.

“My beautiful, talented, blueberry cupcake.” She praised against his lips. “I am so lucky to have you.” She continued kissing him like that until he got so lost in the sensation that his tail released the hold it had on the tree branch. He fell on his back and she gasped in horror. “Kurt! Oh God, are you alright? Do we have to get you to a hospital?”

“Liebe, it is okay. I have fallen down many more times I can count. It is nozhing. But… a kiss can make it better.” He said with the most adorable puppy dog eyes she’d ever seen in a person; and the best part what that never did them on purpose– he was just that adorable.

“You scared me, baby.” [Y/N] said before kissing him softly. “I thought you were hurt. Let’s go, I can see the mansion behind the trees.”

“One more kiss. Zhe last one.” Kurt begged, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her on top of him. How could she say no to him? He was her absolute weakness.

“Okay, let’s make it a good one.” 

“Oh no, I left a bite mark on your lip. Fuck, I knew it was too hard. I’m sorry.” [Y/N] said, running her thumb over Kurt’s lips. He captured it with his teeth and bit down softly– only enough to arouse her like crazy. 

“I like zhe bite mark you left.” He said after releasing her finger. She smiled and pecked his lips, unable to stop herself. They walked past the last line of trees and she stopped dead in her tracks. Kurt stopped as well, looking at her with a frown.

“Oh no.” [Y/N] said, squinting her eyes at the back door of the mansion. “They’re waiting for us, and Jean looks like she’s got her arms crossed, which means she’s angry.”

“It is no problem, zhey vill understand vhen I tell zhem ve told each other ve vere in love and I vanted to kiss you.” She giggled at his pure honesty– because he looked like he was certain that was the solution. She was contemplating the possibility of just telling Kurt to take them both to her room– but then, Professor Xavier appeared.

“Ah, double shit. They told the professor. Now we can’t get away.” She complained, crossing her arms. Kurt looked a little nervous now, because he didn’t want to be in trouble with Charles.

When they reached them, Jean was standing with Scott looking furious, but the Professor looked like he was trying with all his might not to laugh.

“It was about time.” Jean said with a sharp look. “You were gone for four hours!”

“Now Jean, don’t be so hard with them. I told you they were okay.” Charles said, failing to hide his amusement.

“More than okay, apparently.” Scott said, narrowing his eyes even though no one noticed. “Are those… hickies?” 

“What? He didn’t leave any hickies!” She said, looking affronted– but when she noticed Scott’s expression, she realized she’d just walked into a trap.

“Oh my God! You worried Jean to death so you could make out?” He scoffed and turned around. “I’m outta here.” He said before going inside.

“Sensitive.” [Y/N] said with raised eyebrows. “I’m sorry Jean, we didn’t want to worry you. Time just… flew away.” She looked at her with pleading eyes but still, Jean was angry.

“Ve are sorry, Jean. It is just zhat ve said zhat ve loved each other and zhen be just vanted to be togezher all zhe time. It vas hard to come back now because I vanted to stay vith her but she said ve–”

“Oooookay, baby. She got it.” [Y/N] said, covering his mouth with her hand.

“Baby?” Jean asked, the corners of her lips curling upwards.

“Yeah, well… We talked a lot, about a lot of things.” Ah, finally, there it was. Jean uncrossed her arms and looked at them with soft eyes.

“Try not to scare me like that again, okay? You were angry when you left and I didn’t know what could’ve happened.”

“We’ll do our best, promise. Now, can we go?” [Y/N] asked with a teasing smile and Jean rolled her eyes before moving out of the way. Once they’d disappeared inside, Charles looked up to her with a smirk.

Did or did I not say they would be busy doing the things you teenagers do?”

The months passed while Kurt and [Y/N]’s relationship bloomed into something beautiful. They had made a habit of sneaking into each other’s rooms late at night– and while everyone knew what they were doing, they always denied it and it was impossible to prove it. Kurt teleported from his room to hers, and she made herself disappear and walked calmly to his without anyone noticing what she was doing. On weekends they stayed up all night talking, and ended up sleeping through breakfast and sometimes even lunch. 

Kurt’s training with the X-Men continued to go very well, and [Y/N]’s training with her own powers had evolved beyond being able to make herself unnoticeable. Now, she could also make herself and other people disappear. She and Kurt had taken full advantage of this, kissing in the most inappropriate times without anyone noticing.

Right now, they were at the point of the year where Christmas was close enough to talk about it without sounding too eager, and [Y/N] and Kurt were ready to go shopping early for presents. They walked together towards Scott, Jean, Jubilee, Ororo and Peter, who were sitting by the fire. 

“Kurt and I are going to do our Christmas shopping today, anyone wants to come with us?” [Y/N] asked the group with a bright smile, putting her scarf on.

“Ugh, no.” Scott said with a groan. “It’s way too soon to do Christmas shopping.”

“Ja, [Y/N] says zhat’s better because ve can shop vithout zhe stress.” Kurt answered, smiling lovingly at her. When she’d told him about it he’d thought she was the smartest person he’d ever met. The previous year he and the others made their Christmas shopping on December 23rd and it had been one of the worst experiences of his life. He hadn’t known better– but now he did, thanks to his girlfriend.

His girlfriend. That never failed to make him feel warm and happy inside.

“I pass. I love you guys… But you’re so in love that sometimes it gets impossible to be around you.”  Jubilee said with a smile that bordered on being a grimace. [Y/N] narrowed her eyes at her, teasingly, before kissing Kurt full on the lips in front of her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She answered innocently while Kurt hid his face on her shoulder with an embarrassed smile. Jubilee rolled her eyes and smiled.

“I don’t need to do Christmas shopping.” Peter answered, smiling as innocently as he could– which was to say, not innocently at all.

“Peter, do I really need to tell you again that stealing is wrong?” [Y/N] said, shaking her head in disbelief. Peter just shrugged his shoulders, not even bothering to answer.

“I don’t feel like shopping today, sorry guys.” Ororo apologized, and [Y/N] nodded, smiling softly at her.

“I am not going to be the third wheel again.” Jean said, shaking her head. “You go, have fun.” She said with a grin and Kurt and [Y/N] shrugged their shoulders.

“Ok, baby. Take us to the old alley two blocks from the mall, and we’ll go from there.” She told Kurt, zipping her coat before wrapping her arms around his waist, looking at him with a smile before placing her lips on his.


And they were gone.

“Mmmm… I love you.” [Y/N] moaned into the kiss she was sharing with her boyfriend in an old, dirty alley. As usual, the place where they were kissing mattered very little– they got so lost in each other that they forgot about their surroundings. “Does it make me a bad person that I’m happy no one agreed to come?” She asked, burying her fingers in the hair on the back of his neck.

“I hope not. Because zhat vould mean I am a bad person as vell.” Kurt answered, smiling teasingly. [Y/N] pulled away, surprised, and let out a joyful laugh.

“Okay, let’s go. Before we leave we have to go to this little shop I saw the other day, I think it’s owned by a pair of ladies and everything they sell is so pretty.” Kurt nodded, and they walked into the street hand in hand.

It didn’t take them as long as [Y/N] had believed it would to find presents for everyone, but she couldn’t say she wasn’t a little bit jealous of how good Kurt was at choosing gifts for people. While she struggled to find something, Kurt appeared in front of with the most thoughtful gift she’d ever seen. He was naturally good at being incredible, apparently. 

Now they were almost reaching the shop [Y/N] had told him about, carrying various bags on their hands. 

She noticed that something was going to happen before Kurt did. He’d been telling her something funny that had happened while he was choosing his gift for her, when she noticed an old man looking at him with an expression of pure disgust on his face. She wrapped her arm around his and held his hand, looking directly at the old man– but he was too busy staring at Kurt.

“Get out of here, freak!” He yelled at him the moment he walked past them, and Kurt stopped dead in his tracks, stunned. [Y/N] clenched her jaw and held onto him tighter, offering her undivided support. Kurt looked at her for a moment and took a deep breath, turning to the man with clear resolve.

“I have done nozhing to you. I have every right as you to be here, Sir.” He answered in a strong voice, standing up a little straighter.

“You are an abomination!” The man said, spitting to the ground in front of Kurt. He swallowed thickly, but didn’t budge. Countless memories of  [Y/N] telling him that he was the most beautiful person she’d ever met swarmed around his mind, keeping him grounded.

No. I am not. I am a person, just like you.” He answered seriously– and now the man looked furious.

“How dare you compare yourself to me?” He spat, disgusted. By now people had begun turning around to look at them, paying close attention to the exchange.

“Say one more word and I’ll get my gun to shoot you in the foot, man.” They heard a female voice say from behind them, and when they turned around they found the two ladies that owned the shop standing protectively behind them.

“Of course it would take two abominations to defend another abomination. Go back to sinning, lesbians!” He yelled, face red in fury. The women looked as unimpressed as humanly possible.

“Jemma, get my gun.” The woman who’d threatened him said, and the other walked back into the store. The man walked back a few steps, looking at them with pure, deep rooted hatred.

“You are all going to hell! Sinners!” He yelled before walking away quickly. The people that had gathered began to walk away, some smiling at Kurt and [Y/N] in support, and others looking down at them.

“Do you want a cup of tea? A glass of water?” The woman offered with a kind smile. [Y/N] came out of the daze she’d been in for the past minute and nodded.

“Yes, sure. Thank you. We were just about to go inside your shop before he stopped us.” She rubbed her thumb on Kurt’s hand before kissing him quickly on the lips. He looked a bit shaken, but otherwise he seemed to be doing okay. “You did so good baby, I am so proud of you.” She whispered, resting her forehead against his, before they both walked inside.

“Jemma, can you bring us some tea?” The woman yelled to a room on the back of the store as they followed her up to the counter. [Y/N] noticed a big framed picture hanging on the wall, standing out from the rest. There was no doubt that two of the women were the owners of the shop, and they were standing with their arms around two others. The four were wearing matching t-shirts, and when she read what they said, she gasped.

“You were part of the Lavender Menace?” Her eyes were wide in amazement. “My aunt told me so much about you! It’s such an honor to meet you!” Kurt looked at her like she was speaking in Chinese, completely confused.

“Vhat is zhe Lavender Menace?” He asked, frowning. The woman looked at [Y/N] with questioning eyes and [Y/N] nodded with a little smile.

“The Lavender Menace was a group of lesbians that fought for inclusion in the feminist movement.” Kurt still looked confused; he knew what a feminist was because [Y/N] had explained it to him, but he still couldn’t understand what the woman was saying completely.

“I am very sorry, but I don’t know vhat a lesbian is. Zhat’s vhat zhe bad man called you, does he zhink zhat it is a bad zhing, like zhe vay I look?” The woman looked at him with a small frown but nodded anyway.

“He does. Many people do. Look, kid… I don’t want to be disrespectful but the crucifix you got there makes me think you might not like what a lesbian is.” She said and Kurt tilted his head to the side, confused. 

What could be so bad?

Was a lesbian a murderer?

“Give him a chance.” [Y/N] said, looking at Kurt with her usual loving smile. 

“A lesbian is a woman who likes other women. Romantically.” The second woman, Jemma, appeared carrying a tray with four teacups.

“Oh. Zhat.” Kurt said, nodding. “Ja, in zhe circus zhere vere two vomen zhat helped raising me zhat vere in love vith each ozher, too. I never zhought zhat vas a bad zhing, zhey loved me and I loved zhem very much. My faith does not preclude ozher people’s rights to be happy and free, miss.” He answered respectfully.

[Y/N] was looking at him with soft eyes, and the women’s eyebrows had shot up to their hairlines.

“Well, that’s a pleasant surprise.” Jemma said, smiling. “I’m Jemma, and she’s my girlfriend Suzanne.” She extended her hand and Kurt accepted it with a smile.

“I am Kurt, and she’s my girlfriend [Y/N].”

“Can ve go back soon? I really liked zhem.” Kurt said as they both waved at Jemma and Suzanne from outside the window of the shop before continuing their way.

“Oh, definitely. Wait till I tell my aunt about this, she’s gonna want to come here too.” Kurt smiled, satisfied, and nodded. “Are you ready to go home or is there something else you need?” Kurt shook his head.

“I am ready, ve should go back. It’s getting colder. Come on, ve can go from here.” He pulled her to an empty corner and held her close, placing a soft kiss on her lips before–


“Oh come on! Do you have to kiss every single time? Don’t be gross.” Scott groaned, covering his glasses with a hand.

“As a matter of fact, it’s none of your business.” [Y/N] said sweetly. “You know what I’m going to do with your present now? Throw it in the trash.”

“No! Wait! You know I love your love guys…” He amended, smiling innocently.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” [Y/N] answered with a roll of her eyes, clearly amused.

“No, I haven’t asked him yet. Yes, I know he might say no but I wasn’t going to ask him without asking you first. Yes, I know, I want you to meet him as well. Okay then, when I get his answer I’ll call you again. Kay bye, love you too.” [Y/N] hung up the phone and sighed, smiling in relief. She’d just asked her mother if Kurt could spend the winter break at her house and she’d agreed. God bless her aunt and her beautiful liberal ideals that had been permeating into her mother’s way of thinking for years.


She felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around her waist from behind and soft lips pressing against her cheek. She grinned before turning around to wrap her own arms around Kurt’s neck, kissing him on the lips. Kurt pressed his body even closer to hers and when she opened her eyes, she saw they were standing in his room.

“Hello, liebe. You look beautiful today.” He whispered softly in her hear, and she could feel his smile against her cheek.

“Hello, cupcake. You look beautiful every day.” She responded teasingly. Kurt grinned and sat down on his bed, pulling her down on top of him, straddling his lap. He rested his forehead against hers and sighed happily, pulling her close to him. She pecked his lips before pulling away slightly to look at him. “Baby, I have something to ask you. It’s an invitation, actually.”

“Vhat is it?” Kurt asked, clearly curious. She traced his scars with her finger before answering.

“Well… I talked to my mom and we wanted to invite you to spend Christmas at my house. My mom said she can arrange a room for you without a problem and we’re going to go to my grandmother’s house on Christmas Eve and I just want everyone to meet you.” She waited for his answer with baited breath.

“You really vant me to go?” He asked softly, caressing her cheek. She placed her hand on top of his and leaned into his touch.

“More than anything, cupcake.” She said honestly, voice thick with emotion. Instead of answering, Kurt leaned back on the bed with her still on top of him, and kissed her passionately.

“Zhen of course I vill go, meine liebe.” He said between kisses. “Ich liebe dich.”

“I love you too.”

“It’s a big deal, meeting the parents.” Peter said, leaning back on the headrest of Kurt’s bed. “But you shouldn’t worry, there is only a small chance that they won’t like you.” He continued, face serious. Kurt frowned and looked at him.

“Vhat? You zhink they von’t like me?” He narrowed his eyes at Peter. “You know vhat? [Y/N] said you vould tease me about it and to not listen to anyzhing you say.” He continued placing his clothes carefully on his suitcase.

“Ah, damn. She’s smart.” Peter complained, pouting. “Anyway, believe me, it’s a big deal. I know you guys have been together for months but meeting the family is like… the thing that makes it one hundred percent official.” Kurt looked confused, because he was sure that what he and [Y/N] had was already completely official, and it was hard to understand how meeting her family was going to change that. Before he could answer, Scott entered his room and sat down on a chair, leaning his head back into his interlocked fingers.

“You ready to meet the parents, Kurt? It’s a big deal.” He added and Kurt sighed, exasperated.

“I don’t understand vhy you talk about it like I should be scared! [Y/N] said her parents couldn’t vait to meet me, and zhat her mozher is very excited.”

“Because it’s important to make a good impression! I’m sure [Y/N]’s parents are the kind of parents who only want the best for their daughter, so you should make sure you show them that you are.” Peter said, and just as he was finishing, [Y/N] walked into the room with an unimpressed expression on her face.

“Actually, my parents are the kind of parents who trust me to know what’s best for me, and they already know Kurt is that and more.” She said, kissing Kurt’s cheek before narrowing her eyes at the other two. “Stop trying to scare him, he has nothing to worry about.”

“We were just trying to help.” Scott said, lifting his palms up in surrender. 

“If you want to help why don’t you actually do something and help him pack his bag?”

“Are you cold? I’m so cold. Hold me, I’m cold.”  [Y/N] said, trembling slightly. Kurt opened his arms for her and rubbed her back to warm her up.

“Vhy don’t ve go inside? Your parents vill come find us vhen they get here, I am sure.” He offered but she shook her head.

“I want to be the first person that sees them. I’m sure they’re almost here.” She squinted her eyes and her expression morphed into one of pure happiness. “Look! There’s their car! Here they come!” She jumped up and down in excitement and Kurt smiled before she pulled away from him and grabbed his hand. “Ohhh, I’m so happy. They will love you.” She said, leaning into his arm.

Kurt didn’t answer– he just gave her a reassuring smile while they both waited for the car to reach them. Inside, however, he didn’t feel as calm as he looked outside. He hadn’t wanted to let himself get worried about what Peter and Scott had said, but in the end, he’d lost that battle. He’d been thinking all day about the possible outcomes of this holiday, and most of them involved her family disliking him completely. He knew he made her happy, he saw it every day. But what if in the end, they didn’t think he was good enough for her?

The car was almost in front of them now, and [Y/N] was now trembling from excitement instead of because it was cold. Her mother opened the door the moment the car stopped and flung herself out of it, running to them with open arms. Kurt tried to let go of her hand so she could hug her mother properly, but [Y/N] held on tighter and the next second he had an arm wrapped around his neck and was being squished by her mother.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, you looked so nice standing together like that.” She gushed before kissing them both of their cheeks, and then pulled away with a bright smile. “Hi, Kurt, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. [Y/N] has been talking nonstop about you, I feel like I’ve already known you for months.” She said with an exaggerated roll of her eyes before winking at him. 

Behind her, [Y/N]’s father was fast approaching, looking just as happy as her mother. [Y/N] walked to him and hugged him tightly, laughing out loud at something he whispered on her ear. 

“Hello. I’m Kurt Vagner.” Kurt introduced himself, extending his hand for a handshake, but [Y/N]’s father pulled him into a hug instead, clapping his back twice before pulling away.

“I know very well who you are, I read her letters with her mother every week. She really talks nonstop about you.” [Y/N] buried her face on her hands, embarrassed, but Kurt didn’t miss her smile. 

He understood her perfectly, because he felt a lot like smiling too.

Before they left, [Y/N] and Kurt had introduced her parents to the rest of the group, who had liked them immediately, and even went outside to wave them goodbye as they drove away. 

During the whole ride, [Y/N] and Kurt sat on opposite sides of the backseat, not even trying to get closer to each other. It felt incredibly awkward, not to mention wrong– because they were so used to be all over each other that not being holding hands at the very least was like something was missing.

Her parents asked Kurt all sorts of questions, and Kurt answered every single one of them with no problems whatsoever. He told them about his life on the circus, what was like fighting Apocalypse, his training, and he even told them his side of the story of how he and [Y/N] had met. When they finally arrived to their home, her parents were completely charmed by him.

They showed them his room, which was on the first floor– far away from hers– and then they went to the kitchen to begin making dinner while they got settled. 

“Here, leave your bag here and then I’ll show you my room.” Kurt did as told and got ready to teleport them to the top of the stairs, but she shook her head fervently, before pulling him up the steps with her. She lead him to her room and closed the door behind them before turning to them. “They can’t know you can teleport, at least not yet.” She said in a whisper.

“Vhy not?” Kurt answered with a puzzled frown.

“Because I want you to come into my room after they’ve gone to bed, and the only way for you to do that without them knowing is teleporting. Look, my parents are chill, but not that chill.”

“Vell, maybe ve shouldn’t be in the other’s room if zhey don’t vant us to be.” She raised her eyebrows and leveled him with a look.

“Are you serious? During summer I could accept that, but you’re trying to tell me that when it’s this cold you won’t want to cuddle with me at night?” Kurt looked torn between what his mind told him he was supposed to do, and what he truly wanted to do, which was fall asleep with [Y/N] every night. 

“Fine, I von’t tell zhem… unless zhey ask. If zhey ask me, I vill.” He said with crossed arms and she nodded.

“Fair enough.” She answered without complaining. She knew her parents wouldn’t ask him what powers he had because he already had such a visible mutation, and they knew it wasn’t polite to ask people what their mutations were. For now, everything was okay.

On Christmas Eve, the four of them had travelled to [Y/N]’s grandmother house, where there was going to be a big gathering of the family– who apparently were tripping over themselves to finally get to meet Kurt. 

To no one’s surprise, everyone loved him. But especially [Y/N]’s grandmother, who adopted him as her grandson within ten minutes of talking to him. Her cousins were fascinated by him, and ended up calling him the Blue Elf King, which made Kurt feel incredibly happy inside. Her aunt, who, as far as Kurt knew, was the person who’d taught [Y/N] a lot of the things she knew about her own body and herself, had liked him from the moment she saw him. That meant a lot to Kurt, because he knew that she was a big part in [Y/N]’s life. At one point, she and her had disappeared to another room for a few minutes, before coming back like nothing had happened. But even though no one else had noticed, Kurt had seen that [Y/N]’s face had looked just a little darker than usual, which mean that she’d seen or heard something that had made her blush.

After they returned to [Y/N]’s house, they were so tired that Kurt fell asleep before he could teleport into her room to fall asleep with her– and it was only when he woke up in the middle of the night and felt a warm body pressed against his back and an arm wrapped around his middle that he realized she’d came into his room to sleep with him. He couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on his face and pressed himself a little closer to her, holding the hand that she’d draped around him with one of his own.

Two days before December 31st, [Y/N]’s parents had a New Year’s party at some friends’ house– which meant that for the first time, she and Kurt would be completely alone. Apart from the nights Kurt had snuck into [Y/N]’s bedroom, most of their time had been spent with other people accompanying them. That’s why they were almost jumping in excitement when it was time for her parents to leave, even though they looked perfectly calm on the outside.

“Okay, we’ll be back late, so don’t bother waiting up for us.” Her mother said at the door, adjusting her father’s tie.

“How do we look? The Adams are going to be there and I can already see them looking down at us. I wish Charlie and Alex hadn’t invited them.” Her father said with narrowed eyes. [Y/N] shook her head and waved him off.

“You look wonderful. Don’t worry about them, they’re just jealous.” She answered, shrugging her shoulders.

“Vhy are zhey jealous?” Kurt asked, curious. [Y/N]’s mother rolled her eyes and shook her head at him.

“Don’t listen to them, they’re not jealous. They just wish they were as happy as we are.” She said dismissively.

“They are jealous.” Her father agreed with a smile and looked at Kurt. “We’ve known them for years. They went to a private school and we all know they got married to join their families’ money. They don’t like each other very much. And Theodore– the husband– was in love, or so he’d say, with this lady over here.” He pointed at [Y/N]’s mother with his thumb. Kurt looked enthralled, with his mouth opened a little in surprise. “When we started dating he was furious– like he had some sort of claim on her and no one could even come close to her. Disgusting. Anyway, we obviously kept on dating, and then we got married because we were in love with each other and he never got over it.” [Y/N] just rolled her eyes and smiled at Kurt, because she knew this story by heart already.

“Oh, really? You’re one to talk! Everyone knew Gwendolyn–” She looked at Kurt. “–that’s the wife–” She turned to her husband again. “–had liked you for years, and when I asked you out and you said yes I thought she was going to murder me. It’s like they joined forces to hate us together.” She made a face before lifting her palms up, shaking her head. “I swear to you, in front of our only daughter and her boyfriend that if she tries to make a move on you again this year, I will jump your bones right in front of her to show her what’s mine.”

“Mom!” [Y/N] yelled suddenly, embarrassed. Kurt was grinning widely, and her father looked beyond excited. 

This couldn’t get worse.

“Then I’ll be praying for her to do so.” He said with a smile and [Y/N] opened her mouth in surprise.

Okay, maybe it could get worse.

“That’s it. Bye, have fun.” She opened the door for them and ushered them out after kissing both of their cheeks. They waved at her and Kurt while laughing. She waited until they pulled out of the driveway and into the street before closing the door again.

“Okay, that was embarrassing, let’s not talk about it.” Kurt snickered but nodded. “Can you take us to my room?” She asked, holding his hand, and a second later they were gone from the door and standing in her bedroom. 

[Y/N] sat on the bed and began taking off her shoes, while Kurt looked at her with a hopeful smile.

“Are ve going to cuddle?” He asked in an impossibly adorable voice. She nodded and got under the covers, lifting them up for him to get in. He quickly moved and placed himself on top of her, burying his face on the crook of her neck. “I love you.” He mumbled, tangling his legs with hers and wrapping his tail around her arm.

“I love you too, baby. You are everything to me.” She said softly, kissing his head. 

They fell asleep like that, holding each other tightly.

[Y/N] was the first to wake up, to the sound of her phone ringing on her bedside table. She took her free arm out of the covers and quickly picked up, not wanting Kurt to wake up, but he just snuggled closer to her.

“Hello?” She asked with the steadiest voice she could manage. “Hi, mom. We fell asleep, actually. What time is it? Oh… No, yeah, I can hear it now. So you’re coming home tomorrow morning? Okay, be safe. I love you. Bye.” She hung up and moved to open the blinds on her window a little only to find that indeed, there was a raging snowstorm outside and everything was white.

She pulled the covers tightly around them and held Kurt closer against her body. It wasn’t until he woke up and began to stir that she noticed something.

Something really hard between his legs.

She knew it was because he wasn’t completely awake yet, but he rubbed himself against her thigh and a little moan came out if his mouth.

Oh, no. 

She felt herself getting wet and cursed inwardly. She and Kurt had been together for a little less than a year already, and they hadn’t come close to anything even remotely sexual. She had been ready for months, but he wasn’t and that was the most important thing. So they kissed and cuddled and fell asleep together– but they never went beyond that. And that was fine, because that’s what he believed in and she would die before she pressured him into anything he wasn’t ready for.

But now he had just rubbed his hard erection on her thigh and she was aroused as hell. She had to wake him up, he didn’t know what he was doing.

“Kurt, baby. Wake up.” She said, swallowing thickly. He stirred and another moan left his mouth before his eyes opened wide and he looked at her, pulling away slightly.

“Liebe.” He breathed out with wide eyes– and she knew he had just realized what he’d done.

“I know baby, I woke you up because I know you don’t want any of that yet.” She said with a soft voice, caressing his cheek. “If you want–”

“I vas dreaming of you.” He cut her off as he returned to her embrace, pressing himself against her again. She could feel he was still hard. “It vas such a beautiful dream, liebe… Ve vere together…” He looked away. “Vith no clozhes on. It felt so good.” He confessed, his warm hand going underneath her shirt to caress her stomach tentatively.

“Kurt…” She said, her breath hitching. “My parents aren’t coming until tomorrow. There’s a storm. We are all alone tonight.” She blurted out and Kurt looked at her for a moment before pressing his lips against hers.

“Liebe… I am ready.” He breathed against her mouth and she felt like her heart was exploding. 

She and Kurt had talked about being intimate with each other a couple of months before, and he had stated that he didn’t think he was ready for that, and that he would like to wait until marriage. She had been slightly disappointed, but in the end the only thing that mattered was being able to be with him, even if that kind of intimacy was off the table.

Apparently, that had changed now.

“Are you sure, cupcake? You know we don’t have to do this.” She reassured, caressing his back while he moved to straddle her. His response was removing his sweater and t-shirt, looking down expectantly at her. She gasped. “Baby…”

“I need you, [Y/N].” Kurt whispered, almost desperate. “I have vanted to be vith you like zhis since our first kiss, but I have been holding back because of my beliefs. But zhe dream I had– it felt like a signal. I vant to give myself to you completely, tonight.” It was impossible not to get immensely turned on, hearing him talking like that. She sat up and grabbed the back of his neck, kissing him roughly. Kurt whimpered into the kiss and wrapped his legs around her waist, sitting comfortably on her lap.

“You’re gorgeous.” She moaned against his neck, licking and biting. Kurt was a whimpering and shuddering mess– he was clearly overcome by the sensations. She kept on kissing his neck before moving her hands to squeeze his ass. Kurt groaned and his tail wrapped around her forearm, urging her to squeeze again. She did and Kurt’s head fell back, exposing his neck to her. She grinned and licked from his sternum to his Adam’s apple, finishing with an open mouthed kiss on his lips. Kurt began to unbutton his pants but it was just so difficult to do anything when he was so turned on– so he whimpered, resting his forehead on her shoulder.

“Do you want me to help you take them off, baby? She asked and he nodded, trembling slightly. "And what about your boxers… Those too?” Kurt took a second to answer but nodded again. “Okay. Lie back, beautiful. I promise I’ll take care of you.” Kurt untangled himself from her and did as told. He brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on a finger softly, eyes glazed over.

He looked incredible.

She caressed his thighs and his hips thrusted upwards involuntarily. She noticed his rather big bulge against his leg and swallowed, trying to control herself. She had to be gentle with him. When she reached the waistband of his open pants, she slid two fingers inside and caressed his skin slowly, softly. He whimpered again and looked at her with pleading eyes. She grabbed the pants along with his boxers and pulled them down, setting his hard cock free, finally. He was so gorgeous– rock hard just for her. The tip was wet and leaking, and she clenched her thighs to try to alleviate some of the pressure she felt between her legs.

Kurt was simply the most beautiful being on Earth, naked and ready for her.

“Liebe…” He managed to say in a needy voice. “I vant you to touch me.” She caressed his legs until she reached his thighs again and pressed her palm against his length before squeezing him just enough for it to feel good. He cried out in pleasure and she took a firm hold of him before pumping him up and down. However, all of a sudden she had to stop and release him.

Kurt was crying.

“Oh my god, baby. You weren’t ready.” She cried out, dismayed, and covered him up with her sheet. “I’m so sorry…” But Kurt was shaking his head fervently– eyes still filled with tears– and quickly uncovered himself again.

“It feels so good. So good. I vant more, I need more. Please, give me more. Touch me harder.” He begged, tears streaming down his face. [Y/N] realized that he was overwhelmed by pleasure– and the only way he’d found to deal with that had been through crying.

She loved him so much it hurt.

She pressed down softly on the tip of his cock before leaning down and licking the precum that was coming out. Kurt gasped and sobbed, whimpering while he begged her to keep going. She massaged his balls for a second before Kurt sat up on the bed, eyes wide.

“Stop!” He screamed, and she pulled away immediately, scared. “I’m sorry, I vas going to–” He dried his tears with the back of his hand. She moved closer and kissed his wet cheeks.

“Come?” She asked in a whisper, biting and pulling on his earlobe. He nodded. “Do you want to taste yourself in my tongue?” She asked tentatively and he gasped before biting his lip. He looked down, embarrassed, and nodded.

“Ja, please.” He said and she lifted his chin up before leaning down, caressing his tongue with hers. Kurt was breathing heavily, moaning against her mouth. Finally, he was the one who pulled away.

“I vant to see you. Can I help you take your clothes off, liebe? Please?” He begged desperately and she nodded before remembering something very important.

“But before that, Kurt… Do you want to go all the way?” He looked into her eyes and nodded, resolute.

“I vant to make love.” He said softly and she melted completely. 

How on Earth had she managed to get this beautiful soul to fall in love with her?

For now, that didn’t matter. There was only one thing that mattered, and that was that they needed condoms urgently.

“Okay, cupcake. We need condoms.” She said, pulling away from him. 

“Vhat are condoms?” Kurt asked, tilting his head to the side.

“A condom is like a rubber cap that you put on your penis so when you come, I don’t end up pregnant.” She explained as simply as she could and he nodded immediately.

“Ja, zhat is very important. But– I don’t have any.” He said, frowning worriedly.

“My parents have some.” She told him, quickly blocking the image of her parents that threatened to ruin the moment. “But I have to get them now, okay? I’ll be right back.” Kurt nodded and she kissed him softly. “Cover yourself, it’s really cold.” Kurt did as told and she walked out of the room as fast as humanly possible.

She opened the door of her parents room and immediately went to rummage through her mother’s underwear drawer. She opened it as much as she could and thrust her hand in, feeling for the little packages she needed so much. She finally found them and sighed in relief, but just as she was grabbing a couple, her hand made contact with something hard and thick.

Something hard and thick with leather straps.

Her mother had a fucking strap-on inside her drawer.


She quickly closed her eyes and imagined Kurt on her bed, massaging his balls while moaning her name.

That did it.

She quickly took two condoms and got the hell out of that room. When she walked inside her own again, Kurt had his eyes closed and she could see his hand moving underneath the covers.

“[Y/N]… harder– oh– Harder… Touch me zhere, meine liebe…” He was moaning under his breath and the condoms nearly fell from her hands. This night only got better and better. She walked as quietly as she could and kneeled before him. She lifted up the covers only slightly while he continued moaning her name, desperate to see what he was doing.

She was unable to stop the loud gasp that left her mouth.

One of Kurt’s hands was cupping his balls while the other moved up and down his cock, but the best part was that he was pushing the tip of his tail between his butt cheeks.

“Touch me there.” He’d said in his fantasy. 

Damn right, she would. The moment he asked her, she would.

Kurt stopped when he realized she was staring at him, and looked at her with terrified eyes. She turned to him with dark eyes and practically slammed the condoms on the bedside table, quickly standing up from the floor. She took her sweater and t-shirt in one quick motion before dumping them on the floor. Next, she opened her pants and let them fall down, taking them out with her socks. She was only wearing her underwear now, and Kurt was looking at her like he’d never seen something so amazing in his life.

She climbed on top of him and threw the covers on top of them, because even if she was on fire it was still too cold.

“I saw you.” She said, kissing him deeply, one hand going between their joined bodies to massage his cock. “I heard you.”  Kurt whimpered and the tears came back with vengeance. He couldn’t take much more of this. “It was the hottest thing I ever saw. You playing with your tail like that? Give me your hand, I’ll show you how it made me feel.” His nails were trimmed short, thanks to God. He’d begun trimming them a couple of months ago, after he’d scratched her hand enough to draw a little blood while they were holding hands. 

She guided one finger inside her underwear and placed it in between her lips, and Kurt gasped before moaning loudly. She guided his hand until he could rub her by himself.

“K– Kurt!” She gasped when he pressed hard on her clit.

“Vhat, liebe? Did I do somezhing wrong?” He asked, panicking.

“No, you did everything right. Touch me in that little place again. Can you do that?” She asked breathlessly. He nodded and pressed his finger against her clit again, rubbing in little circles. She shuddered and rested her head on his shoulder, trembling. “Put your finger inside me, baby.” She said and he gasped, his cock twitching. “Do you want me to guide you?” She murmured and he nodded, impatient. She grabbed his big finger and slowly inserted it in her. She moved her hips against it while pulling it in and out, until Kurt was able to do it without her help. He used his thumb to rub her clit again and before she even knew what was happening, an orgasm it her full force. She screamed and bit his neck softly, making him moan loudly in return.

Vhat happened?” Kurt asked as she pulled his wet finger out of her.

“You did great, cupcake. That’s what happened. I love you.” [Y/N] said, looking satisfied, and Kurt’s eyes fired up at the compliment. He loved to be praised by her– and that was good, because she loved to tell him how great he was.

She caught him staring at his finger wistfully and then back at her with questioning eyes.

“Do you wanna taste it, baby? She asked, moving a strand of hair behind his ear. He nodded, eagerly. "Then do it. Find out how I taste.” He did as told and a sinful moan came out of his mouth after the first lick. He continued licking himself until his finger was clean.

Kiss me, liebe.” He whispered, eyes dark with desire. She pulled his mouth to hers and kissed him vigorously.

“I think it’s time. Are you ready?” Kurt nodded and moved to lay on his back. She opened a package and took the condom out, showing it to him. “And now you roll it down like this…” She instructed, massaging his balls as she did so. Kurt was biting his lip hard to stop himself from moaning. “Don’t hold back, baby. Moan for me.” He did as told, and loudly. “Okay.” She said, aligning him to her entrance. “I will go slowly, I haven’t done this before.” She said and he nodded, hands on her hips. She lowered herself on him gradually, inch by inch, until he was balls deep inside her. She groaned and placed her hands on his chest, scratching him a little. She moved a little to adjust and then began to move up and down and up and down until she was riding him like her life depended on it. Kurt was whimpering and begging for more, and she leaned down to kiss his beautiful lips. Kurt’s finger found her clit again and she moaned loudly, feeling her second orgasm approaching quickly.

“Are you close, baby?” She asked and he nodded, hips thrusting upwards to meet her.

“Ja, liebe. I am so close. Tell me vhen I can come, I von’t unless you allow it.” He said in a shaky voice and that was her undoing. She came even harder than the first time, clenching tightly around Kurt’s dick.

“Do it now, gorgeous. Do it for me.” Kurt came hard into the condom, thrusting deeply into her. [Y/N] kept riding him after he was done, making him tear up again due to the intense pleasure brought by overstimulation.

She fell back on the bed next to him, satisfied like never before in her life. He was trembling, but looked every bit as satisfied as she felt.

“Now we have to dispose of the condom.” She said, helping him do so. He threw it on the trash can next to her bed. She caressed his chest and he turned to look at her with bright eyes.

“I vant to do zhat again. Many times.” He said seriously and she laughed blissfully.

“Me too, baby. But right now we should drink some water, and then I want to take you to the bathroom and clean you up. Would you like that? Taking a shower together?” Kurt looked at her like she’d offered him all the secrets of the universe.

Yes, I vould.

New Year came and went without them being able to pay much attention to it. They were both desperate to be with each other again, but that was simply out of the question. They didn’t find themselves alone again after that night, and they had agreed that it was best if they didn’t sleep together anymore because they knew they wouldn’t be able to stop themselves if they did.

The day they were supposed to go back to the mansion, [Y’N]’s aunt picked them both up in her car to get something to eat one last time before they both went back to school. As they drove away– [Y/N] sitting in the front seat and Kurt sitting in the backseat alone– he noticed a paper bag with a Pharmacy logo on seat next to him. 

“Okay, I got you enough to last you for some time, but remember, the moment you need more you give me a call, send me a letter, whatever, and I’ll get you more. No questions asked, yeah?” Her aunt told [Y/N], pointing at the bag he had just been looking at. [Y/N] nodded like she knew what her aunt was talking about, and Kurt just couldn’t stop his curiosity. He carefully opened the bag and peeked inside, eyes widening in surprise the moment he noticed what it contained.

“Mein Gott!” He said, mouth agape. “Zhose are a lot of condoms, liebe!” [Y/N] blushed, even though she couldn’t help but smile at him. Her aunt snorted and shook her head, grinning.  

“I suspect you’ll find they’re not that many once you get down to it, Kurt. But it’s always better to be safe than sorry.” She said, shrugging her shoulders. Kurt swallowed and nodded, closing the paper bag again.

“Thank you.” [Y/N] said, looking at her aunt gratefully. “This means a lot. Remember, don’t tell mom. I don’t think she’s ready for that yet.”

“I won’t kid, don’t worry about it.”

[Y/N] had safely packed the bag inside her suitcase, which was now travelling in the trunk of her parents’ car as they made their way to the school again. She and Kurt were once again sitting in separate sides of the seat, longing to be with each other alone more than ever. 

The ride felt like it had lasted an eternity, and as they waved [Y/N]’s parents goodbye from the entrance of the house, they were both trembling with pent up need for each other. The moment the car disappeared from their sight, [Y/N] turned to Kurt with dark eyes and jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist before devouring his mouth with hers. Kurt squeezed her ass and rubbed her against him, unable to get enough of her.

“Bedroom, now.” She commanded in a deep voice she hadn’t known could come out of her own mouth, and Kurt teleported them to his room without even opening his eyes.

“HOLY SHIT! HO-LY! SHIT!” Someone said and they pulled away from each other, turning their heads towards the place where the voice had come from, only to find Peter, Ororo and Jubilee sitting on Kurt’s bed, apparently playing a board game. The voice belonged to Peter, who had his mouth open in surprise, just like Jubilee and Ororo. [Y/N] jumped down from Kurt and looked at them, not saying a word.

Get. Out!” Kurt growled deeply, baring his teeth at them. They looked at each other with shit-eating grins and then back at them before scurrying out of the room without saying anything, closing the door behind them. [Y/N] could hear them laughing behind it, and groaned loudly before throwing herself face down on Kurt’s bed, making a few pieces of the game bounce to the floor.  

“They killed the mood so fast.” She whined. Kurt didn’t answer, so she lifted her head up to look at him. He was just standing there, frowning slightly.

“I didn’t mean to growl at zhem like zhat.” He said, fidgeting with his hands. [Y/N] turned around and extended her arms, inviting him to lie down with her. Kurt moved the rest of the game from his bed to the floor and snuggled closer to her, resting his head on her chest.

“You were turned on, baby. If I could I would’ve growled at them too. And judging by their laughs, they didn’t take it the wrong way at all.” She said, caressing his head. Kurt nodded and sighed.

“Maybe it vasn’t meant to be right now. Maybe ve have to vait until tonight.” He said, yawning.

“Yeah, maybe.” She replied, holding him until he fell asleep.

As it turned out, it had been better to wait until the night after they were interrupted by Ororo, Peter and Jubilee, because they’d been more calmed and they had worshipped each other like they knew they wouldn’t have done in the heat of that moment. 

And after that night came many more nights like it– and sometimes evenings, and sometimes mornings.

But above everything, [Y/N] loved lying down with Kurt on his bed during the sunset, both of themon their sides, looking at each other. Because of the position of his window, right as the sun went down there were a couple of minutes when the light hit him directly, and his eyes turned from red to gold. To [Y/N], that was almost a miracle of beauty. He also made the most adorable face she’d ever seen– scrunching up his nose and closing his eyes tightly for a moment before he opened them up again because– and these had been his exact words– “Not looking at you vhen you are so close to me feels like a vaste.”

Right now the sun was already gone enough that his eyes were red again, and she leaned in to place a soft kiss on his slightly parted lips before pulling away so she could continue staring at his magnificent face. There was no way she’d ever get tired of looking at him. [Y/N] had never met a person who made her feel like Kurt did. Never in her life had she considered another person to be so incredibly beautiful that it felt like a sin to not look at them every chance you got.

And then, Kurt came into her life.

“Vhat are you zhinking, liebe?” Kurt asked in a whisper, moving a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“How beautiful you are and how much I love you.” She answered in the same tone, and Kurt smiled before looking down, a little embarrassed, and then up again, right into her eyes.

“Ich liebe dich, my love.”

It was a natural progression of things now: after they told each other I love you, what followed tended to be an intense kiss that ended up leaving them panting and breathless, with flushed cheeks and desperate for more.

She pushed him on his back and moved to straddle him, her hands grabbing his to bring them on top of his head, holding them firmly in place. Kurt could’ve pulled away from her hold without a lot of effort– but he didn’t want to. Instead, a deep, throaty moan left his lips when she nibbled on his earlobe.

She guided his hands to the headrest of the bed, and he quickly complied to her silent command. He held on tightly, his body trembling with excitement and arousal. [Y/N] accommodated herself better on top of him, causing beautiful friction between their bodies, and this time they moaned in unison. Kurt’s body arched upwards as he closed his eyes and bit his lip, and she took a moment to admire the sheer beauty of the moment she was sharing with her boyfriend.

He was helpless underneath her like she had learned he loved to be– like he had learned she loved him to be. His chest heaved with every breath and when he looked at her, his eyes were glazed over with tears. This was a common occurrence– when they were getting started Kurt got overwhelmed by pleasure rather quickly, and he couldn’t stop himself from tearing up due to the intensity of the emotions he felt. It was a good sign, and just another thing about him she was irrevocably in love with.

She reached down between their bodies to feel him, and just as she expected, he was hard and throbbing. The moment her palm made contact with his cock, Kurt whimpered and closed his eyes tightly, a tear rolling down his cheek. She was torn between wanting to hold him in her arms while they made love slowly and tenderly and wanting to ride him harder than she’d ever done– so she opted for a medium point. She took her shirt off and her bra in two quick motions, and Kurt whimpered again at the sight of her topless on top of him.

[Y/N] lifted her leg and moved to kneel on the bed beside him, smiling when he looked at her with a sad frown, not pleased at all that she wasn’t on top of him anymore.

“Come here, baby.” She commanded and Kurt let go of the headrest to kneel right in front of her.

She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to her, their lips connecting in a deep kiss. Kurt pulled her closer to him by grabbing her ass, and rubbed her against him the second he got a chance. Their kiss was interrupted by his gasps, and she grinned before kissing him again. Their tongues had no battle to fight– she was in charge and they both knew it.

Once again she reached down to massage his cock, but this time she left no clothing barrier between his skin and her hand. Kurt whimpered louder than ever and almost fell down on top of her, unable to keep himself upright. He was breathing with difficulty, his hips thrusting into her hand as she jerked him off.

“If you don’t– Ah!– s–stop, I vill–” He managed to say and she grinned wickedly before removing her hand.

“Not yet, baby. Remember what I said? You’re only allowed to come if you’re buried inside me.” She said seriously and Kurt whimpered again before nodding, resting his forehead against hers. “Okay. I want you naked, now.” Kurt’s tail was moving wildly behind him, and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling. She had a beautiful plan for it, but it wasn’t the right time for it just now. Now the priority was to make Kurt lose all of his clothes. She moved her hands underneath his t-shirt, caressing his stomach before running her nails down his back slowly and gently– with no intention to leave any marks.


She helped him take it off while still kissing him, only pulling away when he lifted it over his head, throwing it carelessly towards some place on the floor. His arms were now around her, holding her tightly against his bare chest. She licked the base of his neck slightly before pulling away from him completely.

“Lie back down. Hands over your head.” Kurt complied instantly, holding onto the bars of his headrest for dear life. “Well done, baby. You are doing so great.” She praised and the lovely sound of his whimpers reached her ears once again. “You deserve a reward for being so good.” She smiled and Kurt gasped as his hips thrusted upwards involuntarily. [Y/N] moved on top of him and kissed him deeply, her hand going between his legs to massage his stiff cock again.

P–please, liebe.” He begged breathlessly, a couple of tears running down his cheeks. “I need you.” God, this was heaven. Nothing would ever feel as wonderful as this.

“I know you do, beautiful.” She whispered against his lips before biting him softly, pulling at his bottom lip slightly. “I need you too, I am dying to have you inside me. But not yet. Now, you deserve your reward.” Kurt bit his lip in anticipation while she kissed his neck softly before going lower. She licked and bit his nipples while Kurt’s back arched up. She continued lower until she reached the waistband of his pants, and pulled them down with his boxers in two quick motions.

Kurt’s throbbing dick sprung free, twitching slightly. His tip was leaking precum, and she quickly caught it with her tongue. Kurt moaned so loudly she was glad her power allowed her to make them go unnoticed, because otherwise they would’ve had a lot of explaining to do.  She took as much of his length as she could– which wasn’t a lot– and used her hand to take care of the rest. Her tongue caressed him with every suck, while she tried not to smile at his wrecked state. He was moaning and whimpering and crying and begging for more, and it was gorgeous.

“Liebe, I can’t take it, stop, I am going to–” She let him free with a pop before massaging his balls teasingly.

“[Y/N]!” Kurt gasped in a broken voice.

“Sorry.” She laughed and climbed on top of him again. “You can touch me now, baby.” She was still wearing her pants, and by the way Kurt’s hands and tail immediately went to tug desperately at them, he wasn’t pleased about it. She grinned at his eagerness and helped him by getting them down.

“If ve do it right now I von’t last. I vant…” He bit his lip and turned away from her. She grabbed his chin and forced him to meet her eye before leaning down to kiss him softly.  His tail wrapped itself around her leg slowly, and she smiled lovingly, caressing his cheek. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes as a satisfied sigh escaped his lips.

“Tell me what you want, Kurt.” She ordered in a whisper and Kurt opened his eyes to look at her, keeping his stare focused.

“I vant my tongue inside you.” [Y/N]’s eyes darkened with desire and she connected their lips in a desperate kiss that made the tip of Kurt’s cock leak too much precum and her underwear to dampen even more, if that was possible. When they pulled away, she was smiling the wicked smile Kurt was so incredibly in love with.

“Then what are you waiting for, cupcake? Eat me.” She muttered in a dark, deep voice that had Kurt’s dick twitching in anticipation.

Kurt moved to the end of the bed while she accommodated herself, leaning against the pillow in an almost fully seated position. She spread her legs wide, inviting him in, and Kurt licked his lips hungrily before rubbing his dick a couple of times. He moved slowly, carefully, until his breath warmed her inner thighs. He kissed them reverently, like it was a privilege to be touching her like that. And then, he kissed her covered pussy. [Y/N] gasped and let out a heavy moan that had him smiling, and then looked at him as he bit the fabric and pulled it down without using his hands. She helped him by closing her legs until the garment was thrown across the room, and then spread them even wider than before. Kurt rested his hands on her bent knees and then caressed her legs until he reached her hips. He leaned down again and made eye contact for a second before giving one long, wet lick to her lips. She moaned and pushed herself against his face, making him moan in return. He placed the back of her knees on his shoulders before thrusting his tongue inside her, licking and sucking. One of his hands moved up to massage her breast, squeezing her nipple between his fingers.

His tail was trembling behind him, and she leaned forward and grabbed it with one hand. Kurt lifted his head from between her legs– mouth soaked with her juices– and she held his stare as she pressed her thumb to the middle of the tip. He moaned and she buried her fingers on his hair before bringing the tip to her mouth to lick it. Kurt’s eyes rolled back in pleasure and he once again buried himself on her wetness, feasting on her like a starving man. She pulled on his hair at the same time she licked and massaged his tail, and before long she was throwing her head back, screaming in ecstasy.

Kurt kept on licking her sporadically until she finally came down from her high, panting with a satisfied smile.

He climbed up the bed and lay beside her, leaning his head on her shoulder. She scratched his scalp lovingly before kissing his forehead.

“Did I do it vell?” He asked, looking at her with shy eyes. She felt her heart swelling with adoration.

“You did amazing, baby. C'mere. ” She brought his head to hers and captured his lips in a languid, lazy kiss. She could taste herself on his tongue, and fuck it if it didn’t make her even wetter than she was already. “Are you ready?” She asked in a whisper against his lips, and Kurt nodded.

She turned around to his bedside table and opened the drawer to take one small foil package. She closed the drawer and turned around again, finding Kurt already on his back. She kissed him softly while he held the back of her head before pulling away to open the condom. She rolled it down on his cock and climbed on top of him again. She guided him to her entrance with her hand before sinking down on him, throwing her head back in bliss once he was completely inside her. Kurt’s hands found her hips, and his tail wrapped around her waist, the tip just an inch away from her clit. She moved up slowly and sank down once again, moaning loudly as she did so. Kurt was helping her with his hands every time she went up, and then pushing her down.

“You feel so good inside me.” [Y/N] breathed out with closed eyes and Kurt finally took his chance to rub her clit with the tip of his tail.

[Y/N] gasped in surprise and opened her eyes to finding him looking at her with dark eyes, biting his lip hard.

He was holding back his moans, and she was not having that.

“Moan for me, gorgeous.” She commanded, leaning down to kiss him deeply, biting his bottom lip. “Do you enjoy this?” She asked in a whisper, her lips barely grazing his. He whimpered and nodded. “How much?” She asked riding his cock slowly, and then moving her mouth to nibble on his earlobe. His hands moved around her waist to hold her close while his tail played with her clit mercilessly. [Y/N] was getting closer to her second orgasm of the day while Kurt got closer to his first. 

“I love zhis. I love to be inside you, liebe.” He managed to say before a loud groan left his beautiful, plump lips. “I– I am close, [Y/N].” He whimpered again while she continued her motions and licked his neck.

“So am I, baby.” She said before sitting up and removing his hands from around her. She brought them above his head and held them in place with hers. Kurt moaned and she began to move faster, harder. She leaned down again and kissed him as best as she could, swallowing his moans.

Kurt thrust his hips upwards and emptied himself, while she rode him a couple more times before reaching her own release.

His mouth found hers and they kissed with as much intensity as they could muster, Kurt whimpering and crying due to the overstimulation caused by [Y/N] riding the waves of her own orgasm.

She threw herself next to him after his tail released her waist, grinning like a fool. Kurt smiled widely at her and kissed her cheek before standing up to dispose of the condom and clean himself up. He returned as fast as he could to the bed, where [Y/N] was waiting for him underneath the covers. He got in and she immediately opened her arms– an invitation he gladly accepted. He rested his head on her chest and tangled his tail and legs with hers, snuggling into her as much as possible. She moved one arm around his back and her other hand to his hair, massaging his scalp lovingly.

“I love you so much, cupcake. I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone as much as I love you.” She confessed in a whisper, holding him a little tighter against her naked body.

“Ja, I understand.” Kurt said seriously before moving upwards a little so both of their heads rested against the pillow, because it was easier to kiss her that way. “I vas never in love before I met you. I didn’t know vhat it vas like. But now zhanks to you, I do. And it is zhe best feeling in the vorld.” Her eyes filled with tears and all she could do was nod in agreement before kissing him.

When they pulled away, he had a strange, thoughtful look in his eyes.

“Kurt?” She asked, moving away a strand of hair that had clung to his sweaty skin. “Talk to me, baby.”

“Remember months ago, vhen zhose men said I vas only allowed to talk if zhey told me I could? And you got angry and hit zhem all?” She nodded, trying not to get angry at the memory. “Vell… zhat vasn’t zhe first time someone said somezhing like zhat to me.” She frowned in despair and he could see her eyes glazing over with frustrated tears. He kissed both of them before kissing her lips. “In Germany, zhere vere people who sometimes came to zhe circus who vanted me to show them vhat I could do. I vanted to say no, but I couldn’t because zhey had money zhey gave to the circus if I performed for zhem alone. Ve needed zhat money. Sometimes I had to do it for hours until zhey finally said I had permission to stop.” A tear rolled down his cheek and she quickly dried it with her thumb. She kissed him and snuggled closer, their naked bodies feeding of the other’s warmth. “Zhe circus vas my home, and even today I miss it, but zhose vere the times vhen I couldn’t ignore the feeling zhat they owned me. Zhey came vith zheir money and zhey decided I belonged to zhem.” [Y/N]’s lower lip was trembling, and she took a deep breath.

“Kurt, listen to me: you will never, ever, belong to anyone but yourself, okay? Never. No one can come and tell you that you belong to them because that has no value. You are yours and yours alone.” She said in a tone she meant to be firm, but her voice was breaking. Kurt smiled and looked at her with those beautiful eyes that shone with the pure love he felt for her.

“Ja, liebe. I know zhat now. Zhere is no person who can decide I am zheir property. But it is not true zhat I belong only to myself. I belong to someone ozher zhan me.”  [Y/N] frowned deeply, worrying that there was someone who’d made him believe something like that.

“What do you mean?” She asked cautiously.

No vone decided zhat zhey owned me.” He took a deep breath. “I chose to be yours.” He whispered and for a moment, [Y/N] was unable to respond. Then, her eyes overflowed with tears and she connected their lips in one quick move.

Oh my God, cupcake. I love you so much. I am yours too, baby.” She wanted to say so much more but the need to kiss him was too much and it felt like nothing she could say was going to be enough. “I love you more than anything.”

Kurt was grinning, and pulled her on top of him. His dick was hard again, ready for another round. She laughed through her tears when she felt him against her belly, and he sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist. [Y/N] grabbed his face gently and rested her forehead against his.

“It’s so easy to love you.” She muttered, resting her head on his shoulder. “I want to love you forever.” Kurt smiled and kissed her temple.

“I vant to love you forever, too.”