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Guard oc oneshots

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"No way, I am not going out there when the weather is like this!" Gerbrant had locked his door in protest, while his squad leader Leon was pounding on his door.

"Your shift started ten minutes ago and you're gonna get out of there and onto the city walls right now, young man. Either that or you're gonna be in some real deep shit next time you do decide to leave your room."

Gerbrant rolled his eyes, " Geez dude, calm down. You sound exactly like my mum and for your information, the entire reason I came to Raveleijn in the first place was to get away from that woman and my father." The pounding had stopped now and Gerbrant could hear his squad leader letting out a deep sigh.

"Well then," Leon started, "I suggest that you listen closely, because I've got some information for you as well. I'm not kidding about you getting neck deep in shit. If you won't open this door and get out there to do your job, right this second, I'm gonna have to report this to either Korda or the Count himself, and you don't wanna know what happens to guards that don't do their jobs."

Gerbrant pulled the blankets up to his chin, because he was getting cold from sitting upright in his bed. "Please mum, just five more minutes and then I'll consider getting out there." He said in a mocking voice.

"That's it. I've had it up to here with you. Forget Korda, I'm reporting your misbehavior to Count Olaf, he'll know what to do with you." Gerbrant heard footsteps disappearing from his door and knew he fucked up bad this time. Struggling to get out of bed as fast as possible and tripping over his blankets in the process, he ran to the door and slammed it open.

"Sir wait!" He grabbed hold of the doorframe when his vision turned black from standing up to fast. "I apologize, please don't report me to the Count. I'll go out there and get started right away." Gerbrant picked up his knee-high boots from the ground and hurried to put them on.

"See? I'm ready to go, please, I beg of you sir, please don't report me. I don't wanna lose my job." The other man chuckled at the sight in front of him.

"Well, maybe I won't report you to the Count just yet, but don't think for a second that I'm letting you off the hook, I'll find a fitting punishment for you myself." Gerbrant let out a relieved breath.

"Come on then, let's go." Leon said with a grin so wide that it was almost splitting his face in half.

"Wait, like, right now? I thought you were kidding bro, I'm still like half asleep." Gerbrant said while still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Yes, like, right now. And I'd better get going if I were you, because I can still change my mind and go to the Count anyways."
Gerbrant started walking to stairs that would eventually lead outside with Leon on his heels.

"Oh, and one more thing," the squad leader said, "I am not your 'bro', you will address me as 'sir'. Understood?"
Gerbrant saluted.

"Aye aye, sir." He said with a cocky grin on his face. Even when tired he wouldn't pass the chance to mock someone like Leon, because he knew how much it annoyed them.

They reached the door that lead outside, but when Gerbrant opened it he slammed it shut right away, because of the rain that was blown right into his face. Hesitant he put his hand back on the door handle, when he heard a very obvious cough behind him, too obvious to be ‘just’ a cough. And when he turned around he saw Leon tapping his foot on the floor in expectation. Gerbrant turned back around and after taking a deep breath he opened the door for a second time. He felt a push against his back, and before he could register what happened he was already soaking wet from the rain that was pouring down outside.

“Dude, was that really necessary?” Leon raised one eyebrow while crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Right, I’m very sorry. Was that really necessary, sir? Better?”
Leon too stepped outside and pushed Gerbrant further in the direction of the city walls.

“I really don't appreciate your tone, and if you don't want me to report you to the Count, I’d start running to those walls and get to work as fast as possible, cause I'm getting real tired of your shit.”

Gerbrant flashed him a smile. “Aw, come on, pretty boy, I know you secretly love my witty comebacks.” Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in the back of his knees and he stuck out his hands just in time to break his fall. His head was forcefully pulled back by his hair.

“Hey! Careful, I'm very attached to those beautiful blond curl…” He shut his mouth abruptly when he saw the anger on the other man’s face.

Leon looked ready to kill something, or someone. “Talk to me like that ever again, and you're dead. Is that clear?”
Gerbrant tried to nod, but that didn't work very well when Leon was holding that far back.

“Cryst… Yes, sir.” His head was released and Gerbrant rubbed his head, where his hair had almost been pulled out of his skull. But he didn't dare to make any more remarks about it. The kick in the back of his knees had really hurt. Maybe it would be wise to keep his mouth shut for a while. Carefully he got back up. Reluctantly and with hanging shoulders Gerbrant walked through the narrow streets of the city to the tower next to the gate where the stairs that lead to the walls were.

When he finally reached the top of the stairs he saw that Evelijne, or miss Van Maaren as he was supposed to call her, was already patrolling the city walls. When she turned around and saw the two of them approaching she started laughing uncontrollably. Gerbrant turned around and saw that the angry look on Leon’s face had been replaced with a very wide grin directed at Evelijne.

“Guys, what am I missing? Why are you laughing? What's so funny?” No answer, just more laughter. Leon was having a laughing fit as well now. “Aw, come on, I want in on the fun too. Please?” The squad leader tried to talk through his laughing fit, but failed because he was laughing too hard, but he pointed at Gerbrant.

“What? What’s with me? I mean I know I’m funny, but I didn't even tell a joke or anything.”

Evelijne managed to talk through her laughter, although it sounded more like hiccuping. “Well you didn't exactly tell a joke, but you sure look like one. You’re not a very intimidating guard in just your pajamas and your boots.”