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Stu: When are you coming? I’ve been waiting for 3 hours!

Stu: Noodle if you didn’t wanna come you could have at least told me

Stu: No but really! There’s even this weird dude that won’t stop looking at me. If I die and I’m being raped it’ll be your fault

Muds: I’m not Noodle

Stu: Of course you’re Noodle! What are you talking about?

Muds: You texted the wrong number. I’m Murdoc. Not Noodle.

Stu: Oh.

Stu: Well if I’m being raped or killed or whatever it will still be your fault.

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Muds: Are you still alive?

Stu: Of course I am. Why would I not be?

Muds: You’re the one who told me you would die

Stu: I didn’t say that I would die. I said that if I died it would be your fault.

Muds: That makes no sense…

Muds: You’re strange for a guy

Stu: Who said I was a guy?

Muds: You’re scaring me now..

Stu: You’re scared of a guy? Really?

Muds: You just told me you weren’t one

Stu: That’s not what I said. I just said that nobody affirmed that I was a guy

Muds: Well you just said you were one

Stu: That’s not what I said. I was just making hypotheses.

Muds: It’s becoming too confused now…

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Muds: Are you there?

Muds: I can’t believe you abandoned me

Muds: You broke my heart!

Stu: Jfc what do you want?

Muds: Nothing. I was just bored

Stu: That’s why you’re assaulting me?

Muds: It’s not an assault

Stu: Yes it is

Muds: No

Stu: Yes

Muds: No

Stu: Whatever

Muds: You wanna play 20 questions?

Stu: Why not?

Muds: Where do you live?

Stu: England

Muds: Me too. What’s your name?

Stu: Stuart. You’re Murdoc right?

Muds: Yep. What’s your favourite song?

Stu: I don’t have one.

Muds: How can you not have one? Anyway, do you love someone?

Stu: I have to go…

Muds: Are you okay?

Muds: Stuart?

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Muds: Stu? Are you mad at me?

Stu: Why would I be mad at you?

Muds: Because it’s been a week that you haven’t responded at my texts

Stu: Well it’s not the case

Muds: Are you sure?

Stu: Yes.

Muds: If I said something wrong, I’m sorry

Stu: You said nothing wrong, okay? Everything’s fine

Muds: If you say so

Stu: I say so

Muds: Ok. Have you ever travelled?

Stu: Why do you wanna know?

Muds: Just like that

Stu: Well no, I’ve never travelled. But I’d like to go to Australia one day

Muds: Why Australia?

Stu: I’ve always wanted to surf and the waves are amazing

Muds: Well then one day I’ll bring you there

Muds: It’s a promise

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Stu: Muuuuuds! I’m druuunk!

Muds: It's 3 in the morning, couldn't you wait for tomorrow before telling me?

Stu: Noo. I threw up on this guy. You know, this guy. You know who I’m talking about?

Muds: No, I don’t know who you’re talking about. But it should have been horrible for him

Stu: Well I found it pretty funny

Muds: Great. Can I sleep now?

Stu: Nooooo. It’s ooout of the question

Stu: The floor is moving around me ahahaha

Stu: You left me alone? Are you still there?

Muds: Yeah, I’m still there

Stu: I need to tell you something

Muds: What?

Stu: I like you a lot

Muds: You’re drunk, don’t be stupid

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Stu: I was thinking about it.. Maybe you’re a 46-year-old guy who wants to rape me..

Stu: What do you think about it?

Stu: If you’re not answering me, is it because I’m right?

*Murdoc sent a picture*

Stu: Holy sHIT I give up this theory! It should be illegal to be that handsome!

Stu: I didn’t just send that, did I..? Please tell me I didn’t really send you that..

Muds: You really sent me that

Stu: I’m gonna kms

Stu: Now

Stu: Because you see, I’m ashamed. Really ashamed of what I said. So goodbye

Muds: Goodbye. Don't forget to tell me if you had good death ;)

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Stu: You think we’ll ever meet one day?

Stu: idk

Muds: Would you like for us to meet one day?

Stu: idk

Muds: You don’t know much in fact

Stu: ik


Muds: What’s going on? Are you okay?


Muds: What do you have?


Muds: Just that? It’s not the end of the world

Stu: Have you ever hit your toe on a chair?

Muds: No

Stu: Don’t say it’s not the end of the world BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M FEELING RIGHT NOW

Muds: You’re totally crazy. That’s why I like you a lot

Stu: You like me a lot?

Muds: I said that? I don’t remember saying that.. ;)

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Stu: Hey Muds guess what!!

Muds: You seem happy. It must be something fun


Stu: With the kangaroos

Stu: And the hot guys surfing

Muds: I’m jealous

Stu: Why? Because of the hot guys? You know, there’s no problem at liking guys. You see, I like guys and I have no problem with that. There’s no shame at liking them.

Muds: For your information, I’m already bi. I wanted to talk about the kangaroos. Do you realise how great it is? You’re gonna see kangaroos!

Stu: I really thought you were straight at first

Muds: Well I’m not

Stu: You could have been, it’s a possibility

Muds: I assure you that I like men too much and what they come with to be straight


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Stu: Goodbye. I’m gonna die

Muds: You’re not gonna die. You only leave for your trip

Stu: Exactly. I have to take the plane for that

Muds: And?

Stu: You don’t understand. What if it crashed? I’m gonna die I swear!

Muds: You won’t die. And if it happened, I’d be finally at peace

Stu: Hey! You’ll regret saying this if I really die

Muds: Maybe, yeah, but you won’t die, so I won’t regret it

Stu: I tell you I’m gonna die!

Muds: I don’t believe you

Stu: Whatever 

Muds: So, are you dead?

Stu: Not yet. But I swear I'm gonna die if it keeps going like that

Muds: Why will you die this time?

Stu: Everyone is pretty! Dammit, I’ll become crazy. Australia is awesome! I’ll never go back to London, it’s official!

Muds: If it’s that amazing maybe I should join you

Stu: It would be great

Muds: I know

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Stu: Man this trip was amazing! :)

Muds: So amazing that you weren’t responding at my texts anymore 

Stu: I just didn’t have time 

Muds: Of course.

Stu: Are you mad? 

Muds: Should I be? 

Stu: For fuck’s sake. I can’t believe it. I was on a trip! I tried surfing for the first time in my life. What were you expecting? That I’d spend the entire week with my phone to talk to you? 

Muds: No, just that you’d take the time to answer at one of my texts. It seems not much 

Stu: Well I’m sorry, but the world doesn’t revolve around you 

Muds: Well maybe I should just stop talking to you. I wouldn’t even mind 

Stu: That’s what I’m gonna do. Anyway, where would this go? I was so stupid to like you, I’ll probably never meet you

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Muds: I think I was an asshole

Muds: I’m sorry

Muds: Forgive me

Muds: I like you too

Muds: I don’t want you to stop talking to me

Muds: In fact, you’re probably the only person I care so much for except my family

Muds: And you know, I think that’s why I was angry that you weren’t responding at my texts

Muds: I was only scary that you wouldn’t talk to me anymore

Muds: And now that you really don’t want to talk to me, I realise how much it’s horrible

Muds: Just write one word, please, so I can know that you don’t hate me totally

Stu: ok.

Muds: I would have preferred another one, but I’ll accept this word with pleasure

Muds: But if you wanna say another one, I’d be very happy

Stu: Dick

Muds: It’s completely different. I preferred your ok I think

Stu: You’re a dick

Muds: it’s a nice insult

Muds: but I prefer to be insulted than ignored

Stu: You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

Muds: I know

Stu: I hope that you know it

Muds: I know

Stu: Good.

Stu: I’m still mad

Muds: I know

Stu: I hope that you know it

Muds: I know

Stu: Good.

Muds: It’s becoming repetitive

Stu: I know

Muds: It’s good, I think we can stop

Stu: I know

Muds: If you continue I’ll… I don’t know what I’ll do but I’ll think about it

Stu: I know

Muds: Okay! That’s the last text I’m sending tonight

Stu: I know

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Muds: Are you still angry at me?

Stu: No.

Muds: Are you sure?

Stu: No. But we’ll pretend I am

Muds: I don’t like this answer

Stu: It’s the only one you’ll have

Muds: I know.

Muds: I’d like to know more about you

Stu: What do you wanna know?

Muds: I don’t know. Nothing in particular. You could talk to me about your family

Stu: There’s not much to say. My mum’s a nurse and my dad’s working as a mechanical

Stu: How’s your family

Muds: Well, definitely not as pink as you. My mother dumped me on my father’s doorstep who’s an asshole drunk of a man. He… abused and exploited me.

Stu: Dear God. Murdoc, I’m so sorry. That’s terrible.

Muds: I moved on. Let’s just forget it

Stu: Okay.. if you insist. Do you wanna get married one day?

Muds: Nah

Stu: Why?

Muds: Well, I think it's useless. We don’t need a ring or anything else to prove our love to someone. It’s the same thing as organising a huge party

Stu: I think you’re wrong. It’s a good proof of love to promise someone to be with them forever

Muds: I think it’s false. Anyway, more than half of couples end up divorcing

Stu: I still think you’re wrong

Muds: I think you’re also wrong

Stu: I’d like to get married one day

Muds: I think it’s stupid

Stu: Perhaps when you’ll be in love you’ll think otherwise

Muds: What makes you think I’m not already in love?

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Muds: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

Stu: Idk but I feel like you’re gonna tell me

Muds: A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face

Stu: HAHAHA where are you getting these jokes that are so...bad?

Muds: My joke wasn’t bad :(

Stu: No, it was terrible

Muds: I’m sure you’re capable of doing better

Stu: Are you challenging me?

Muds: Far from my idea to challenge you but… yes, it’s nearly that

Stu: What did the Muslim girl say to the man who raped her the next time she saw him?

Muds: No idea, but I’m curious

Stu: “I do.”

Muds: I think that

Muds: This joke

Muds: Was the

Muds: Stupidest I’ve ever heard

Stu: Why did you send so many texts for a sentence?

Muds: I think it was to put a little bit of suspense

Stu: It was a failure

Muds: I know

Muds: But your joke was also a failure

Stu: You’re wrong. You have to admit that it was still a bit funny

Muds: We certainly don’t have the same definition of what’s funny

Stu: Wait, I have another

Stu: What's the difference between a dead body and a sex doll?

Muds: I have no idea

Stu: None

Muds: You’re officially the worst person when it comes to jokes

Muds: I’m better than you

Muds: One time I fucked a girl so hard

Muds: she almost came back to life

Stu: It’s official, I think we’re the two worst joke tellers in the planet

Muds: I think we should become humorists

Muds: Like a really bad humorist duo

Stu: Our jokes would so bad that people would laugh because of that

Muds: At least they’d laugh

Stu: You’re right, let’s become humorists! :)

Chapter Text

Muds: How was your day?

Stu: Do I really have to talk about it?

Muds: No, I was just asking a question

Muds: But if you wanna talk about it to someone, I’m here

Stu: I just want you to be here with me

Stu: Because no matter how this seems weird to you, you’re the person who I care for the most. And you’re also the only person who’s always there for me, without being here. I’d really like for you to hold me in your arms

Stu: I must seem pathetic

Muds: You don’t look pathetic. You can’t imagine how I’d like to hold you in my arms too

Muds: I’d like to be here to comfort you, even if I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t like when you don’t feel good

Stu: It’s just one of these bad days, don’t worry. I’m fine

Muds: You can talk to me if you want

Stu: I swear I’m fine

Stu: It’s just that my mum is sick and I’m scared of what could happen

Muds: I don’t want to say that things will be fine because if it’s not the case, I don’t want you to be mad at me because I lied. But I really hope that your mum will be fine

Stu: I don’t care if you lie. Just tell me that everything’s gonna be fine

Stu: Please.

Muds: I promise you that everything’s gonna be fine.

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Stu: Guess what! :)

Muds: What?

Stu: I told you to guess, I’m not gonna tell you

Muds: It’s not very kind, you know that?

Stu: Yep I know

Muds: Anyway. I’m bad at guessing games but I’m still gonna try. But only because it’s you

Muds: Actually I have no idea

Muds: Give me a clue

Stu: What date are we?

Muds: May 23 and?

Stu: What happens on May 23?

Muds: I’m asking the question to myself

Stu: It’s my birthday

Muds: OH! I didn’t know.


Muds: How old are you anyway?

Stu: 27 :)

Muds: You’re old now

Muds: Actually I take it back, you’re young. Like a kid

Stu: Hey, I’m not a kid anymore

Muds: Legally talking, but mentally you still are

Stu: I don’t like when you’re right

Muds: I’m always right :D

Stu: That's wrong

Muds: I’d like to be with you for your birthday

Stu: I’d like that too

Chapter Text

Muds: Hey Stu, are you busy?

Stu: I was about to take a shower

Muds: A shower?

Stu: Yeah?? You see, clean people do that. You know?

Muds: Nope but are you gonna take it naked?

Stu: Are you telling me you never took a shower?

Muds: Can you send me a picture?

Stu: Of my shower?

Muds: No, you naked

Stu: B y e

Chapter Text

Muds: I wrote a poem

Muds: I’d like for you to say what you think…

Stu: Go on

Muds: Roses are red

Castles have moats

Let’s introduce your cock

To the back of my throat

Stu: The first two lines are pretty basic but you can keep the rest to yourself

Muds: They’re not good?

Stu: What’s gotten into you these days

Muds: The best thing in my life

Stu: Which is…?

Muds: Good hell would you look at the time! I should go to sleep

Stu: It’s only 7

Stu: Muds?

Stu: Mudssssss

Muds: It’s you

Stu: Eh?

Stu: I’m what..?

Chapter Text

Stu: Muds?

Stu: Murdoooc?

Stu: Murdoc Niccals!

Stu: Why are you not talking to me?

Stu: Muds, it’s been a week!

Stu: I miss you!

Stu: Seriously Muds…

Muds: I was thinking sorry

Stu: For a week?

Muds: Yes sorry I was occupied..

Stu: Doing what?

Muds: You really wanna know?

Muds: My right hand was my best friend

Muds: And sometimes I imagined it was you

Stu: What's that supposed to mean?

Muds: I just want you in my bed

Stu: I don't mind cuddling with you

Stu: You're really confusing though

Muds: You said that you missed me

Stu: I never said that!

Muds: Yes, I quote “I miss you”

Muds: Don’t worry I also missed you

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Muds: Stuart Niccals?

Stu: Yeah?

Muds: See, you recognise yourself!

Stu: In your dreams

Muds: When we’ll meet, you’ll fall under my charm and we’ll shag together…

Stu: It’s fun dreaming. Not that I don’t wanna talk to you but I’m going out with someone later

Muds: With who?

Stu: A friend

Muds: What’s their name?

Stu: Russel.

Muds: Who’s this Russel?

Stu: Not your business Muds

Muds: Bye.

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Stu: Muds?

Stu: You’re occupied I guess…

Stu: With your hand?

Stu: Are you sleeping?

Stu: Are you out?

Stu: Muds?

Stu: Welp you’re not answering me

Stu: Send me a text when you’re not occupied anymore…

Stu: I love you…

Chapter Text


Muds: Yes?


Muds: Weren’t you with Russel?

Stu: I see…

Muds: What do you mean “I see”?

Stu: You’re jealous

Muds: No way

Muds: I was with my girlfriend Britney this week

Stu: Oh.

Muds: Yes.

Stu: I’ll leave you be then...

Muds: Bye.

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Muds: Good morning Stuart

Muds: Are you okay?

Stu: Yes

Muds: You’re not asking how I am?

Stu: You should be fine, no?

Muds: Why?

Stu: You’re with Britney

Muds: You’re jealous?

Stu: No, but you’re an asshole

Stu: You’re in a relationship and you call me Stuart Niccals and you say you’ll shag me. You can’t say those things if you’re in a relationship even if you’re kidding Muds

Muds: I don’t know what to say…

Stu: Leave me

Muds: Stu

Stu: Leave me

Muds: I’m sorry Stu

Muds: Please stop being angry

Muds: I have to tell you something

Muds: Don’t get angry okay?

Muds: I...


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Muds: I don’t have a girlfriend

Stu: Cool

Muds: You don’t care?

Stu: That’s it

Muds: Who’s Russel for you?

Stu: Why do you care?

Muds: Bby stop being like that

Stu: mh…

Muds: I wanna hold you so tight...

Stu: Me too…

Muds: You can’t give up, I swear to Satan we’ll have the best fucking life together

Stu: I definitely love you

Muds: I love you too Stu

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Muds: It’s soon Christmas! What will you do?

Stu: Nothing

Muds: You won’t celebrate with your family?

Stu: They went to Paris to celebrate there so I’m here in Crawley alone…

Muds: I’d like to celebrate Christmas with you

Stu: Don’t dream too hard

Muds: I don’t like when you say that

Stu: I know

Muds: I love you so much

Stu: Love you too Muds

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Muds: Stu?

Stu: Yes?

Muds: Your name still hasn’t changed for “Stuart Niccals”

Stu: You’re so adorable “Alphonse”

Muds: Wait how did you find about this?

Stu: Facebook…

Stu: It’s sexy on you, you know

Muds: So when you’ll scream my name you’ll say “HARDER ALPHONSE”

Stu: When we’ll make love?

Muds: I don’t make love

Muds: I fuck

Stu: Always with a hint of politeness Monsieur Niccals

Muds: How’s Russel?

Stu: You’re interested about Russel?

Muds: Well… why not?

Stu: I don’t know what was wrong with him, he cheated on his girlfriend

Muds: Girlfriend?!

Stu: What’s wrong?

Muds: He’s not your boyfriend?!

Stu: Of course not

Muds: oh.

Stu: Did you want him to be my boyfriend?

Muds: No, on the contrary!

Muds: I was scared you’d hang out more with him

Muds: And you wouldn’t talk to me…

Muds: ...

Muds: You must find me stupid

Stu: Aww Mudsie

Stu: If only you knew how much I love you

Stu: I don’t think you’re stupid, you’re cute

Stu: Sometimes an arse, but I still love you

Muds: Before I met you I was alone

Muds: If only you knew how much you helped me

Muds: I love you, Stu

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Stu: Christmas is in 5 days

Stu: Muds?

Stu: Muds babe

Stu: Muds…

Stu: Why are you not answering?

Muds: I was in the bathroom sorry

Muds: I was pissing this time

Muds: I’m sorry Stu

Stu: It’s fine. Russel is here but we can continue to talk!

Muds: Oh. I’ll leave you

Stu: No Muds! Talk to me, please

Stu: Muds, he’s not my boyfriend

Muds: I don’t care

Stu: You don’t care?

Stu: You know what Muds? Don’t come and talk to me

Chapter Text

Muds: Stu?

Muds: I didn’t want us to dispute

Muds: Stuart fuck I’m sorry

Muds: I need you..

Muds: Stu..

Stu: I should be the one apologising

Stu: I didn’t mean to reject you

Stu: I didn’t think before sending that text

Muds: ...You still wanna be with me?

Stu: Of course

Stu: You feel that way too right??

Muds: I care about you way too much to not love you

Stu: You wanna Skype?

Muds: Sure, let’s get down and dirty ;)

Stu: Muds nO

Chapter Text

Uh… hello?

Hey Stu, I can’t see you

Really? Hold on…

Is it okay now?

Murdoc stays silent

Muds? Are you okay?

Y-You’re beautiful

Stuart covers his face in embarrassment

And sickeningly cute

Please Muds, have you looked at yourself? You’re so fucking hot and handsome…

Alriiight that’s enough. If you continue like that you might make me blush

I wanna see you blushing!

Perhaps one day you will

Murdoc winks at him

Hey Muds? I’m really glad we got to be together. To be honest, I was scared you would leave me because I was too rude to you

It’s nothing Stu, anything to make my baby happy

Stuart buries his face in his pillow

I’ve heard that in relationships you shouldn’t keep secrets and uh… I have something to tell you

Go on…

I-I mean, a lot of people don’t believe me or they make fun of it.. but if we live together in the future it’s not something I can really hide

I’m pretty open-minded Stu

I’m pagan…

No way, I’m pagan too!


I’m a spiritual Satanist

I’m Wiccan

Stuart smiles, making Murdoc smiling back

It’s really like Fate made us to be together

I also made you something

Stu gets a necklace from his drawer

I hope you like it…

Stu, you shouldn’t have… Of course I like it you dummy. I’ll send you my address so you can send it to me

I -yawn- love you Muds

I love you too Stu. Now go to sleep, will you?

Mhh… wanna fall asleep with your voice. It’s really soothing, makes me feel safe...

There you go, you fucking made me blush

Chapter Text

Muds: Merry Christmas Stu. I sent you a gift and I wanted to keep it as a surprise. I received yours. Thank you so much, sweetheart

Stu: Merry Christmas..

Muds: What’s wrong?

Stu: I received your gift..

Muds: So??

Stu: You’re crazy!

Muds: Yes but of you

Stu: Aww

Muds: Come to me, we’ll make kids

Stu: Muds shut up

Muds: I have a problem

Stu: What is it?

Muds: I’ll tell you later

Stu: I’m alone for Christmas and I would like so much to be with you Muds

Muds: Me too

Chapter Text

Muds: Did you have a good Christmas?

Stu: I was with Noodle if you wanna know everything

Muds: If I’m not wrong, it’s because of her that we met, right?

Stu: Yep! I’m glad I texted the wrong number :)

Muds: So what did you guys do?

Stu: Nothing special. We ate and talked…

Muds: That’s all?

Stu: That’s it. What about you?

Muds: I celebrated with my friend’s family

Stu: What’s your friend’s name?

Muds: Nathaniel

Stu: That’s a cute name

Muds: How does Noodle look like?

Stu: I’ll show you if you show me Nathaniel

Muds: Deal.

Stu: *sends picture*


Stu: You forget that I’m gay

Muds: Right…


Muds: Nope

Stu: Why?

Muds: You’ll fall in love

Stu: For him?

Muds: I don’t wanna risk losing you

Chapter Text

Muds: Stu are you sulking?

Muds: Why are you sulking at me?

Stu: Because you don’t wanna show me Nathaniel

Muds: Are you joking?

Stu: Nope, he’s sexy

Muds: And me?

Stu: It’s not the same thing

Muds: So what you mean is I’m not sexy

Stu: Muds you’re the sexiest

Muds: Are you kidding me?

Stu: Not at all

Stu: I love you

Chapter Text

Stu: What’s Nathaniel’s last name?

Muds: Jackson

Stu: Thanks Muds, I found his Facebook and I’m sending him a friend request!

Muds: I hate you!

Stu: But I love you

Muds: Go fuck yourself Pot

Stu: You’re not Stuart Niccals, no, mister is Stuart Jackson

Stu: But Muds…

Muds: No it’s fine, stop

Stu: But Muds…

Muds: Stop, bye.


Chapter Text

Stu: Happy new year Muds

Stu: Why are you not talking to me?

Stu: Anyway, I wish for you nothing but happiness and that you find the girl or boy that will make your heart beat

Muds: I found them

Stu: Ah

Muds: Happy new year to you too

Stu: You’re in a relationship?

Muds: No but I like someone and they make me suffer

Stu: Oh. I’m sorry, what did they do to hurt you?

Muds: I think they like a friend of mine…

Stu: You think, you’re not sure…

Muds: If you knew… I love them…

Stu: …

Muds: What are you currently doing for new year?

Stu: I’m with my family and you?

Muds: Again with some friends

Stu: Okay

Muds: Okay

Stu: Good

Muds: Good

Stu: Bye Muds

Muds: Bye

Chapter Text

Muds: Stop, okay? Don’t you understand anything?

Stu: What do you mean Muds?

Muds: First, one question. Did you talk with Nathaniel?

Stu: Yeah

Muds: What did he tell you?

Stu: Not your business

Muds: Of course it’s my business

Muds: Go fuck yourself

Muds: Don’t talk to me anymore

Stu: No Muds…

Muds: Fuck off! Leave me. You bitch!

Chapter Text

Stu: Muds...

Stu: please…

Stu: Muds…

Stu: I didn’t talk with Nathaniel because I hate when we fight

Stu: You mean a lot to me Muds

Stu: I don’t want to make you suffer

Stu: baby please stop being angry

Stu: :'(

Muds: </3 ?

Stu: </3

Muds: I love you.

Chapter Text

Stu: Are you still mad at me?

Muds: Promise me you never talked with Nathaniel

Stu: I promise you

Stu: Anyway… did you talk with the person you love?

Muds: Yeah, and I love him more and more

Stu: Oh.

Stu: I hope everything goes well

Muds: Thank you

Stu: …

Muds: You’ll always be the one I care for the most, okay?

Stu: The fault in our stars?

Muds: Yea but just for the ‘okay’, I don’t want to die at the end…

Stu: Why am I always the girl *sigh*

Muds: Okay?

Stu: Okay. <3

Chapter Text

Stu: For fuck’s sake Muds, I’m telling you princesses aren’t real!

Muds: Of course they are!

Stu: Those from Disney World, you know that they’re girls in costumes

Muds: Duh, I’m not that stupid

Stu: It looks like you are…

Muds: I know one!

Stu: Seriously what did you smoke?!

Muds: I can even give you her name

Stu: Go on

Muds: Stuart, Stuart Niccals

Stu: That was ONE time

Muds: You were adorable in that dress

Stu: But it’s still cute…

Muds: I know I am

Stu: I said the phrase was cute, not you. Shades…

Muds: Of Grey, with you ;)

Stu: Not even in your dreams

Muds: It doesn’t stop me from dreaming about that with you… ;)

Stu: Fuck, Muds…

Muds: I get hard just thinking about you ;)

Stu: Please stop

Muds: Why?

Stu: sick emoji

Muds: fingering emojis

Stu: gif of filthy frank screaming it’s time to stop

Chapter Text

Stu: Happy birthday babe

Muds: Thanks! <3

Stu: What do you want as a gift?

Muds: Not again...

Stu: I insist!

Muds: See you…

Stu: You fucked my day

Muds: Sorry princess

Muds: We’ll meet one day, I swear

Stu: Really?

Muds: Really

Stu: What are you gonna do for your birthday?

Muds: Be with friends…

Stu: Is the guy you love there?

Muds: No.. :,(

Chapter Text



Stu: I have a damn good idea!

Muds: Shite you scared me

Stu: You're suffering, right?

Muds: ?

Stu: With the guy you love

Muds: Oh.

Stu: Tell him your feelings and look how he reacts. If he says no, give up

Muds: Ah.

Stu: What?

Muds: You wanna help me?

Stu: Well yeah…

Muds: Why are you doing this?

Stu: I want you to be happy

Muds: ...

Chapter Text

Muds: What are you doing?

Stu: You really wanna know?

Muds: You’re masturbating thinking about me? :D

Stu: No Muds… still not…

Muds: So?

Stu: Are you sure you wanna know?

Muds: Yep

Stu: I’m with Russel

Muds: Oh.

Muds: Ttyl the guy I like invited me to go out

Stu: Oh.

Muds: Have a nice day.

Chapter Text

Stu: Oh my gods!

Muds: What?

Stu: I found a damn good picture on Facebook

Muds: Of?

Stu: Nath!

Muds: Oh.

Muds: Show me


Stu: sends picture

Stu: I wanna make babies with him

Muds: You go do that. While we’re at it, you want his address? It’s ***** *******

Muds: Go make babies with him! He finds you pretty, he told me! “Stuart’s cute, do you think I could meet him one day?”

Muds: Go see him!

Stu: Thanks :D

Muds: Are you fucking kidding me?

Stu: Of course I am Muds, don’t be angry. I could start thinking you’re jealous

Muds: Pff never

Stu: Don’t come talking to me if you can’t laugh at simple jokes

Muds: With pleasure

Stu: Bastard!

Muds: Shitbag!

Stu: Asshat!

Muds: Cum dumpster!

Stu: …

Muds: Fucking slut, cock shiner. I can go on if you want

Stu: You went too far

Stu: Don’t ever play with me Murdoc

Stu: And don’t ever


Stu: Make me fucking wish for things


The end.

Chapter Text

Muds: Stu..?

Muds: Do you still like me?

Muds: I miss you

Muds: I’m sorry Stu

Stu: Go fuck yourself!

Stu: It doesn’t make up for what you did

Muds: Excuse me, you’re the one who started it

Stu: Leave me alone

Muds: You called me a bastard!

Stu: And you called me a slut!

Muds: You’re so complicated

Stu: Leave me for fuck’s sake!

Muds: I don’t like when people sulk at me

Stu: It’s not by sending gifts that I’ll forgive you

Muds: Which one is it?

Stu: The shoes.

Muds: Okay, tell me when you get the other one

Stu: Why?

Muds: Just… please

Stu: Okay.

Muds: Okay.

Stu: Great.

Muds: Great

Stu: Good.

Muds: Good.

Chapter Text

Muds: Hey Mike, do you think we could hang out today?

Muds: Sorry wrong number

Stu: Stop doing the guy that makes the wrong number

Stu: His name doesn’t even start with an S

Stu: You wouldn’t be able to do that wrong

Muds: You caught me

Stu: What do you want?

Muds: Did you get my gift?

Stu: Yeah

Muds: I told you to notify me!

Stu: I forgot

Muds: Do you like it?

Stu: It’s not by giving me gifts that I’ll get better

Muds: Did you see what’s written in the heart?

Stu: “Murdoc & Stuart”

Muds: I’m sorry. I care a lot about you and I don’t want our “friendship” to break because of a joke

Stu: I’m also sorry

Chapter Text

*Phone conversation*


Mudsie <3


Decline ~ Answer




Muds: Hey?

Stu: Muds?

Muds: Are you not happy to hear my voice?

Stu: Yeah yeah but you sound different… like you’re sick

Muds: The flu is a bitch

Stu: Aww I hope you get better soon

Muds: Thanks, baby. It’s good to hear your voice

Stu: Me too, I missed it

Muds: What are you wearing?

Stu: Oh hell no! We are not doing this!

Muds: Stuuuu come on

Stu: I’m gonna have to leave you Muds, I’m about to take a shower

Muds: Oh. You shouldn’t have said that

Stu: Is this what I think it is...?

Muds: I’ll give you a hint. My hand.

Stu: Bye Muds. laughs


・End call ・

Chapter Text

Muds: Hey!

Stu: Hi guy that has a voice raspier than hell

Muds: Ha ha ha. Very funny Pot

Stu: I know

Muds: And you have a girl’s voice so...

Stu: Sure…

Muds: I saw you published a new picture of you on Facebook

Stu: And?

Muds: Sexy

Muds: I’m gonna have fun tonight

Stu: Go fuck yourself Niccals!

Muds: Just kidding Stuart Niccals

Stu: So I’m not sexy?

Muds: No!

Muds: Fine yes dammit…

Muds: okay okay. You’re sexy...

Stu: Thank you Muds. Your voice’s sexy too

Stu: I have to leave, see you later <3

Muds: <3 ?

Stu: <3

Chapter Text

Muds: Stu?

Muds: I have to tell you something

Muds: It’s not gonna be easy to do

Stu: Is there a problem?

Muds: Listen, please don’t say anything. Let me talk first.

Stu: Wait, can I tell you something first?

Muds: Yes

Stu: I went shopping with my best friend and we saw this really hot guy! He gave me his bloody number!

Muds: Oh.

Stu: So what did you wanna say?

Muds: I’m not gonna be able to talk to you for 5 days

Stu: Really??? Why?

Muds: Bye

Stu: :*

Chapter Text

Muds: Let’s stop that bullshit, I need to talk to you

Muds: Don’t interrupt me no matter what I say

Stu: I’ll try

Muds: You already failed

Stu: Sorry…

Muds: Fuck it’s fine, I’m just really tense

Muds: I’ve been thinking about it and I definitely came to a conclusion

Muds: Stuart

Muds: …

Muds: I love you

Muds: So fucking much

Muds: And if that hot guy lays just one hand on you, I’m gonna break all of his knuckles, the 15 of them

Stu: I’m pretty sure humans only have 14…

Muds: Is that all you have to say?

Stu: Um.. you really love me?

Muds: Nah it’s just a prank bro

Muds: Of course I do you dullard!

Stu: I thought you didn’t love me so I tried to get over my crush with uh… I don’t remember how it’s called…

Stu: Oh right, it’s called Tinder!

Muds: Fucking hell

Muds: You need to delete that damn app right now

Stu: If you say so

Stu: and Muds, I love you too

Chapter Text

Stu: What are you doing?

Muds: I think I’m gonna watch something on the telly

Stu: You’d watch what?

Muds: I’m hesitating between a football match or porn, what do you think?

Stu: The porn film, you’re already good at football

Muds: How do you know about the football thing?!

Stu: Facebook..

Muds: Yeah but we never made love

Stu: That’s unlikely

Stu: And since when does Murdoc Niccals make love ?

Muds: I don’t usually make love , but I’m doing an exception because it’s you

Stu: I didn’t know you were a romantic

Muds: it’s just for you luv


Chapter Text

Muds: What are you eating tonight?

Stu: What are you eating tonight?

Muds: Are you repeating me?

Stu: Are you repeating me?

Muds: Come on Stu!

Stu: Come on Stu!

Muds: I love you

Stu: I think pasta

Chapter Text

Muds: Can I propose you something?

Stu: Yep

Muds: If we see each other one day, I’m immediately gonna make love with you so you won’t have any surprise later

Stu: Yeah well… go fuck yourself

Muds: Please Stu!

Stu: You’re so disgusting!

Muds: All I want is to suck your dick!

Stu: Damn Muds do you have a gf or bf?

Muds: No ;)

Stu: I understand why

Muds: Aww I thought you’d be interested

Stu: Never Muds

Stu: But seriously, you like a guy, no? Mickey? Mike…

Stu: When you faked the wrong number you said your crush’s name, no?

Muds: Yeah his name is Stuart

Stu: I know I’m perfect

Muds: Suck my ass!!

Stu: maybe

Chapter Text

Muds: What are you doing sweet shit?

Stu: Okay first I’m not shit!

Muds: I know, that’s why I fell in love with you in the first place

Muds: But I’m still calling you however I want luv :p

Stu: Murdoc?

Muds: Yes?

Stu: Fuck me

Muds: What?!

Muds: We’re still by text and…

Muds: Okay, I’ll try

Stu: I’m kidding Muds, you’re too thirsty CX

Muds: And you’re too cute

Stu: What’s gotten into you?

Muds: Just wanna show some affection to my boyfriend

Stu: Would you wanna go out with me in the future?

Muds: Always

Chapter Text

Stu: You’re beautiful

Muds: Why this text?

Stu: Because you are

Muds: Woah Stu, thanks a lot

Stu: I appreciate you more and more

Muds: And I’m crazy in love with you

Stu: Could you send me something I've wanted for two weeks?

Muds: Anything you want!

Muds: Except if it’s too expensive or you’re dreaming

Stu: A t-shirt with your odour

Muds: …

Muds: That’s gotta be the best way to die

Chapter Text

Stu: Thanks…

Muds: You’re welcome

Stu: It smells good

Muds: Of course, it’s mine ;)

Stu: Muds?

Muds: Yeah?

Stu: I gotta tell you something but please don’t be mad at me

Muds: Okay..?

Stu: I didn’t tell my friend Noodle that I was in a relationship with someone so when she found this guy, she set up a blind date with me and him. I was thinking about just showing at the restaurant saying I’m not interested but he never showed up and I’ve been waiting for 2 hours…

Muds: Where?

Stu: Where what?

Muds: Where’s the restaurant

Stu: La Rusta in Crawley

Stu: brb I’m gonna cry

Chapter Text

Muds: This guy is a fucking asshole for making you wait like that

Stu: Actually… he just arrived

Muds: Do you still want me to come?

Muds: Stu?

Muds: Are you here?



“He’s here, it’s him, he’s so pretty..”


The other guy was pretty good looking, but he’s gonna have to remove his hand from Stu’s waist or I’ll beat the crap out of him. My hoodie is hiding my face so I don’t think he knows I’m here.



It’s pretty late now and they didn’t stop laughing. I swear I’ll kill him. I turn my head in their direction and I freeze. He’s about to kiss Stu?!




What have I done?

Chapter Text

I run like crazy to my car when I remember what he can do right now… stupid dumbass. I stop in the middle of the road and run in the other direction.


The guy says goodbye to Stuart by nearly kissing him. Luckily, Stu turns his head so it’s on the cheek. I’m gonna kill him. He comes near me and I grab him by the collar and smash him against the wall.


“Don’t ever see him again,”

“Who the fuck are you?” He clenches his teeth.

“It’s not because you have pretty eyes that you can touch him. He’s mine, you hear me? I swear that if I see you again you won’t have any guts left, that is, if you have any,”

“Let me go, you’re hurting me!”


I let him go and leave while tightening my fists.


Stu: Tonight was really great, he was soooo nice! Hope I can see him again :)


After this text I really started hating my life. Nothing better than a drink.

Chapter Text

Stu: Apparently Eden was aggressed after our “date”

Muds: Maybe he deserved it

Stu: I have a secret admirer

Muds: Yep

Stu: What’s wrong?

Muds: Nothing

Stu: Muds?

Muds: What?

Stu: Send me a picture of you

Muds: Why?

Stu: Please Murdoc <3

Muds: Don’t laugh at my face…

Stu: Muds, you’re perfect

Muds: You think so?

Stu: I’m in love with you, remember?

Muds: Thanks…

Stu: btw we’re going to the cinema later if you wanna stalk us again

Muds: Am I a bad boyfriend?

Stu: You’re the best

Chapter Text

Eden invited me to the cinema. He told me about his aggression and that he wasn’t supposed to see me. I felt bad that I was the cause of that but to know how much Muds cares about me..


The room was pretty empty considering it was the middle of the week. There was a third person in the back with a hoodie, I’m guessing Murdoc.


Stu: Can’t wait to see you in real life

Muds: Prepare yourself for your biggest deception

Stu: You mean the best moment in my life


I don’t like when he thinks low of himself.



Eden gets closer to me and… 

I see someone pulling him off of me.

Eden turns back and scream;


I bite my tongue to stop myself from smiling.

“Hey Stu,” 


My face explodes in a full grin.

Chapter Text

Stu’s here, in my arms. He jumped on me when he saw my face. I like his eyes. I like his smile. I like his hair. I lik- I love him. I finally have him in my arms.


“I wanted that for so long Muds,” He whispers

“I’m gonna cry if you don’t stop crying. Eden is still there…”

“You’re more important than him,”


Should I kiss him?


“Hold on, you’re the one who aggressed me!” The cunt cries.

“You’re welcome, darling” I wink at him.

“Also,” Stuart cuts us. “I’m sorry Eden, but you’re not my type,”


Stuart proceeds by grabbing my chin and smashes our lips together. It feels- so fucking good. I grab him by the neck and tangle my hands in his hair. So soft. His lips are paradise. We make out unaffected by time and oxygen.


“You two can go fuck yourselves- I mean, fuck- Jesus fucking Christ, I’m done!” Eden angrily shouts and leaves.


After for what seems like hours, our lips separate, leaving a trail of saliva between them. I look over Stuart who’s a blushing mess like me  and rest my forehead against his.


“I love you, Murdoc,”

“I love you, Stuart.”

Chapter Text

Stu: I’m so excited about tomorrow!

Muds: You said it three times already

Stu: I know but I’ll get to be with you for the entire day, and for real!

Muds: Were you deceived?

Stu: Of?

Muds: That I wasn’t as good looking as the pictures?

Stu: You’re even more handsome

Muds: Am not

Stu: I’d smack you if I could

Muds: Tomorrow…

Stu: Muds?

Muds: Mhh?

Stu: I…

Muds: You…?

Stu: I need to go to the toilet

Muds: The toilet?!

Stu: I'm back…?

Muds: It's 3 AM, are you okay luv?

Stu: I was actually going to sleep

Muds: Have sweet dreams <3

Chapter Text

I woke up around 8 AM. I even took a shower, something I rarely do. After taking ages for choosing my clothes I joined Stu at a coffee shop.


Muds: Where are you shitface?

Su: I’m coming assbutt!


Like he said, he arrived soon after. He was beautiful.


“Why did you dress like this?”

“Why not…?”

“I don’t want men in heat to jump on you!”

“Haha don’t worry Muds!”

He was adorable when he was laughing


“So what have you planned?” He asked

“We eat, then shopping, then we go to the park and eat again… then…”

“We’ll leave each other,”




“Can I…”


The waiter arrived and cut Stuart.


“Hi, have you chose?”

“Coffee with pancakes,”

“Same as him,” I asked the waiter.

“So you like coffee?”

“Duh, it’s life! So what did you wanna tell me?”

“Nothing, it’s fine…”


The waiter arrived with our order and I saw he was checking out Stuart. I didn’t like this at all.


“What time at your place tonight babe?” I hold his hand.

“Um, will that be all?” He asks awkwardly.



The waiter left and Stu exploded of laughter.


“‘What time at your place tonight babe?’” Stuart imitates me with a deeper voice

“He wouldn’t stop looking at you…”

“Are you jealous?”

“Of course not…”

“Aww, Muds is jealous!”

“Nuh uh…”


I noticed Stuart seemed like he was deep in thought when he suddenly looked at me.



“Yes, Stu?”

“It’s hard to tell you…”

“Don’t worry, you can tell me!”

“So uh, I have…”

Chapter Text

“So uh, I have…” Stuart starts.




“Sorry…” He quickly says before answering.


“Hi? Saturday? I… No, I don’t know. He’ll say no! Love you, bye.”

“Who was that?” I ask.

“My mum,”

“Who will say no?” I smirk.

“She wants you to eat with us on Saturday,”

“How does she know me?”

“Well, uh…” He looks down blushing.

“Is it that little Stuart talked to his mommy dearest about me?”

“S-Sod off! So is that a yes?” He looks at me with an intense look.

“As long as I’m with you.” I smile back at him.


Satan he’s so adorable. I turn my head and I see a flash. That motherf-


“You look great on it!” He decodes my expression.

“Because I don’t normally look great?” I love to tease him.

“I didn’t say that Alphonse!”

“Stop it with Alphonse!”

“Talking about Alphonse, you still haven’t shagged me,”


An old lady turns towards us;


“Keep it down with the language and mess around somewhere else. Couples these days…”


I don’t think it was possible to be redder than me. It was like I had a sunburn in 10 seconds.

Stuart, on the other hand, couldn’t stop laughing. He winked at me and I immediately understood.


“I’ll take you in all possible ways. You’ll scream my name so hard you’ll lose your voice,”

“I can’t way for that, babe,”

“Don’t worry about that. Cinema or in your mum’s bed?”



I was biting my cheeks to stop myself from a laughing explosion.


“Is there a problem ma’am?”



The granny left and we laughed harder than a priest next to a choir boy.

“As if my gay daughters weren’t enough…” We heard her muttering.

“Can we go?!” Stuart asks excitedly.



We stand up and;


“Shite. MUDS, RUN!”




After running for a minute we stop in an alley.


“What was that for?!” I ask between panting.

“We forgot to pay and the waiter was running after us,” Stuart starts laughing again.


I had to admit it was pretty funny. He comes near me and kisses my cheek.


“I really loved today, thank you Murdoc.”

Chapter Text

The rest of the day was more than good. We pranked some more people, it was pretty funny. When we were holding hands, an old lady said: “You two are making a good couple. You’ll stay together for a long time. I’m telling you, it can be seen in your eyes that you love each other.” I replied that I was crazy in love with him. I mean, it’s just the truth.


I was touched when Stuart complimented my appearance. I don’t get that often. I think I’m even more in love. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I do for him.


We’re in my car, he’s singing and I can’t stop looking at him. I think he noticed because he’s suddenly blushing.


“I-Is there a problem, Muds?” He asks softly.


Yes, there’s a problem. I’m madly in love with you.


“Your voice… it’s just so… perfect.” I say feeling astonished.

“Oh, uh… thanks.” He grins and ruffles the back of his neck, still blushing.


We’re at his place. It’s time to say goodbye, sadly. I grab him by his neck and kiss him one last time. His arms turn slowly around my waist. His tongue shyly goes past his lips and tangles around mine. Our breath quickens, we slightly moan, and I want this moment to never end. We’re promptly interrupted by the sound of keys falling on the ground.

Chapter Text

“STU?! I’ve waited for you all day, luckily I have your keys!”


So this is Russel.


“Ah, Russ. I’m sorry, Muds. I’ll talk to you tonight. Love you.”


He walks back to his house and I’m left alone in the driveway. I should go back to my place, but I can’t help feeling a bit disappointed that he didn’t introduce me to his friend. It’s probably just me. I’ve been told that I was easily jealous.


While taking a stroll, I decide to text him.


Muds: Wyd?

Stu: Making supper, you?

Muds: Thinking about you…

Stu: I’m sorry if I did something wrong

Muds: It’s all good

Stu: I love you, you know that?

Muds: I was scared you were ashamed of me

Stu: Why??

Muds: You didn’t introduce me to Russel…

Stu: Ahhh

Stu: Actually… I already talked to Russ about you… a lot…

Muds: Oh.

Stu: There’s no way I’d be ashamed of you Muds

Muds: I love you

Stu: I love you too

Chapter Text

Muds: Stu?

Stu: Yeah?

Muds: Nathaniel’s doing a party, do you wanna come?

Stu: Mhhh… okay

Muds: Are you sure?

Stu: Yep, don’t worry

Muds: I’ll pick you up at 8

Stu: Okie dokie :)

Muds: And I’ll kiss you



I was in front of his place. He… He was more than perfect. Nath will jump on him, Stu could make him gay. I’ll keep him close to me.


“Holy shit...” I accidentally let out.

“Is it too much?

“No… You’re just stunning.”

“Aw, thanks Mudsie.” I couldn’t stop myself from blushing at the nickname.


He kissed my cheek and got in my car. I was stressed out and didn’t want Nath to see him. My fingers were tapping on the steering wheel. Stuart put a hand on my leg.


“Are you okay Murdoc?”

“Just peachy!”


We finally arrived and I was ready to beat someone up.


Hey Mur…” Nathaniel blinked. “Woah Stu, is that you?!”


I sent him a death glare and hoped he got the message.



I drank a small amount… Okay, I drank a lot. And it’s just when I was shitfaced that Nath decided to play truth or dare. Obviously, I accepted. Russel -I don’t even know why and how he’s there- starts the game.


“Alright. Murdoc, truth or dare?”


“Why are you sulking?”


“O… kay. Uhh, Nathaniel?”

“Dare.” I see him winking at Stuart. Did he have this planned out?!

“I dare you to kiss Stu” Russel last says.

Over my dead body.

The last thing I remember from tonight is my face hurting like a bitch.

Chapter Text

I wake up from my shoulder being shaken and a voice constantly repeating my name. 


Stuart jumps over me and doesn’t let me go.

“I was so scared… Are you okay, Muds?”

“I’m not sure about that.”

I take a moment to examine the environment.

“Am I… in my car?”

“You needed somewhere to rest and I was too drunk to drive you home and I didn’t really know Nathaniel well and after what happened I wasn’t sure-”

“Thanks for taking care of me, Stu,” I kiss his forehead and see him blush. “By the way, why does my face feel so sore?”

“Oh, about that… you got a black eye.”

“Your mum will probably think I’m some ghetto boy.”


Hearing Stuart laughing is the best thing in the world. I can’t resist the temptation of tasting his lips. All my worries disappear and my muscles relax in Stu’s embrace. My lips move to his neck and lick his porcelain neck. 

“Sorry,” I whisper just before sucking on it, hearing a light moan in the process. Gods, he’s hot. I travel a hand around his flat stomach. I swear his skin is god-like. From his chest, I make a trail of kisses going more southern. I fumble with his belt, having a hard time unbuckling it.


“W-W-Wait,” I hear Stuart stutter. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet…”

“That’s okay luv, you should probably go home before someone worries about you.”

“A-Are you really okay with that?”

“Mhh, a hundred percent.”

Chapter Text

Stu: Hey Muds

Muds: Sup babe

Stu: I’m aware of what happened two days ago but a friend is celebrating her birthday…

Stu: Do you wanna go with me?

Muds: Of course

Stu: I really care about you, no matter what you think

Muds: Me too

Stu: I love you <3

Muds: I love you too <3

Stu: I’ll give you the address of her place

Muds: Cya soon luv


I wait for Stuart in my car and I see him coming, stunning as always.


“Hurry up and get your cute ass there!” I tease him.

“Aye aye captain.” He whines.


After finally arriving and greeting the birthday girl, another girl comes to me and I’m alone as usual.


She sits next to me and tries flirting with me. She was pretty but not as much as Stu.


Around 1 AM, I’m still stuck with that chick and doesn’t give up no matter how many times I say I’m not interested. Believe it or not, being as hot as me has its cons. Stuart sits on my knees and magically shoos her away before kissing me. I can never get tired of that.


“You're mine, Murdoc.” Stuart insists.

“It’s cute when you try to be dominant. Keep trying and maybe you’ll convince me.” I wink at him.

“Alright, alright, but don’t complain when you’re tied up in my… bondage equipment.” I choke on air.

“Like you have BDSM kink!”

“Are you sure you know me well?” Gods that smirk could drive me crazy.

“Such a mysterious man, Stuart Niccals~”

“You know, I think I think I could get used to that.” Stuart snuggles in my chest as I raise a brow.

“Used to what?”


Chapter Text

Stu: I want you to kiss my body, let your hands explore my body. Do whatever you want to do to me

Muds: Good morning to you too…

Stu: I dreamt about you and I’m so fucking horny

Muds: I want to kiss your tummy, working my way to your dick. I’ll kiss right under your belly button. and I’ll kiss your inner thighs. I’ll bite your inner thighs, making you want my tongue on your dick

Stu: Oh baby be the first to suck my sweet dick ;) mmmm I want it. I want your mouth on my dick, show me how good you can make me feel. Don’t be such a tease

Muds: I spread your thighs apart and your sweet dick is just waiting for me to suck ;) I bring my tongue down and it sends signals of pleasure all up your spine. You arch your back and moan while I bring my tongue to your dick, sucking up and down for you

Stu: Oh baby you’re so good ;) My hands find their way to your hair while your head is buried in my dick mmmmm ;) I gently pull on the tips of your hair while I’m gasping and moaning your name, my mouth is open, forming the shape of an o, my nails find your back lightly scratching but hard enough to leave marks, that’s how good you make me feel baby. Pure bliss. I want everyone to know what you’re doing to me

Muds: I want to 69 baby ;) I want to feel your lips sucking on my hard cock while my lips are on your dick

Stu: Mmm baby I’d deep throat your hard cock while I lay on top of you so you can suck my tight ass ;) mmmm you like that? You like when I deep throat your hard cock daddy? Tell me what else you want your little boy to do

Muds: I want you to take my balls in your mouth baby ;)

Stu: Mmm baby I’ll do whatever you want me to ;) I put your balls in my mouth while I deep throat your cock. You like how I make you feel? Mmmmm I love your cock baby

Muds: Make me cum baby, I gotta go to work soon ;)

Stu: Maybe I’ll go join you. I’d pull your dick out of my mouth and turn around, I’d slowly lower onto your dick, making you take in little by little, once you're all the way in I’d begin to bounce up and down on your hard cock and move my hips in circular motions, I’d put my hands on your chest for support while my dick bounces up and down

Muds: Baby that’s fucking hot ;)

Stu: You like that? You like it when I ride your hard rock dick don’t you? Your little boy isn’t too innocent is he? Mmm flip me over on my side and take me from behind while you hold my leg up and fuck and kiss my neck

Muds: Baby I’m close to cumming ;)

Stu: Mmm baby just imagine what you’d do to my tight little ass ;) fuck my tight ass with your big hard cock. I’d be so tight, I’d be so wet for you, you make me wet, only you, only you make me touch myself mmmm you like my hand on my cock rubbing it? Does it turn you on?

Muds: I want a picture, fuck ;)

Stu: Mmmm ;) cum for me, I wanna see you come

Muds: baby I just came really hard

Stu: Mmmm show me ;) If I was with you I’d lick it all up, I love to taste your yummy cum

Muds: You made me do a really big mess Stu… ;)

Chapter Text

The next morning I wake up next to… Stu? He’s still sleeping safe and sound and I want to do a little something for him. I go down the stairs and start preparing him breakfast. Because I don’t know how to cook, I take frozen pancakes and shove them in the microwave. Minutes later I feel two arms wrapping around my waist.

“Good morning escort boy.”

“Hey, did you sleep well?”

“Yep, really great and you?”

“With you, that’s a yes for sure.”

“How romaaantic Niccals,” I feel his breath against my neck when Stuart laughs. “you still haven’t made love to me, are waiting for something or what?”

“Well if I ask you to do it right now, what would you say?”

“With pleasure,” he smirks

“For real?!”

“Nah, I’m waiting for the right moment, you know?”

“Sex or not, we kissed before marriage. We’re sinners, Stu!”

My boyfriend snorts again and sits next to me around the table. He starts digging up in the pancakes.

“Tell me, you’re not the one that these…”

“Uh yeah, of course.”

“Pfff you’re such a liar, there’s still the packaging you dummy.”

“I don’t know how to cook, what can I say?”

“So what can you do then?”

“You didn’t dare,” I fake gasp

“Very funny Muds, so?”

“Cleaning, but not often. Playing the ps4 and sending you messages.”

“I know what else you can do.”

“You got me curious.”

“Shag everything that moves.”

I spit the piece of food in my mouth.

“You’re accusing me of being a manslut?!”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, sorry…”

“It’s-it’s fine Stu, the past is in the past.”

“Are you sure? I know you’re not really proud of your past self.”

“Yeah… And I know you just meant it as a joke,” I smile, trying to reassure him.

“Well! I’ve got to go back to my mum’s today…”

“Right, I’ll be coming with you.”

“Good luck because she’s already obsessed with you after I told her we were together.”

“I’m sure it’ll be a pleasure to meet mama Pot.” I give him a wink.

“I swear you’ll be the death of me,” Stu says before giving me one of those kisses that make me feel like I’m melting.

Chapter Text

Fuck. I thought things would go well but it all turned to shit. I don’t even know where I am. This dumbass left me in the middle of the highway. I’m gonna kill him. I don’t know who to call. Noodle went on a vacation. There’s only Russel left.

“Hey Russ?”


“Yeah, so…”

“Is there a problem?”

“Could you pick me up?”

“Where you at?”

“Muds left me on the bloody highway!”

“Are you kidding?!”

“Nope... so can you do it?”

“Sure, I just need to know where you are…”

“I don’t know. There’s a family with a flat tire, I’m gonna ask them. And don’t leave the line!”


I awkwardly walk towards the car and see a mother getting out with her kids.

“Excuse me, could you tell me where are we?”

“Oh boy… kids, get it the car. It’s a homeless man.”

I hear Russel snorting.

“I’m not homeless!”

“A prostitute?”

Russel was rolling on the floor on the other side of the line.

“For Hell’s sake! I had a dispute with my boyfriend and he left me behind!”

“Your boyfriend did this?”

No shit Sherlock.

“Yeah… so could help me now?”

The woman tells me everything I need and Russ will be there in 30 minutes.

While I wait, all I can do is play with my phone.

1 unread message.

Muds: Having fun?

What a twat, this guy.

A lot of people look at me weirdly. At the same time, I’m alone on the road...

35 minutes later I see Russel arriving. He opens the door for me.

“So mister is alone on the highway?”

“Hey, don’t laugh.”

“Tell me your address you homeless boy,” he says laughing

“Asshole,” I laugh back. “Ah dammit! I left my keys in his car.”

“Don’t worry mate, you can stay at my place.”

“Thank the gods, I appreciate it.”

Once arrived and in his house, Russel trips over making me also fall.

“Really good position there, Stu,” he teases.

“You can laugh all you want, you’re the one that got beat up.”

“And what if I kissed you right now?”

“You wouldn’t dare!” I nervously snicker.

I help him stand up when suddenly he’s only an inch away from me. He smacks his lips on mine.

I’m doing the worst mistake of my life.