- Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters.
- John Green
"Oh bloody hell." Margot exclaimed for the fourth time in a row as she once again lowered her head to the porcelain bowl to continue spilling the little amount of food she had stomached only 20 minutes ago. This continuous cycle of not being able to be anywhere near the smell of food without her stomach turning and only crabbing certain foods just to after consuming it all like a starved women run to the nearest bathroom to throw it all up has been going on for the past 3 weeks.
At first it started with her just feeling more tired than usual, her body always wanting to just crawl in bed and sleep, a luxury that the Brit couldn't afford when trying to rebuild her empire back in LA and hunting for her brother as well as raising a trouble making 16 year old. Not to mention being a full time girlfriend to the man she never thought could actually make her feel all she did for him. So no, Margot Bishop had no time for tiredness or an upset stomach, it just wouldn't do.
When all the symptoms started to make itself known, Margot had thought that it was the added stress of the roller coaster that was her life. All the sleepiness, and nonexistent hunger as well as the constant nausea was due to all she has been through in the last couple of months finally catching up with her body but after two weeks of these symptoms worsening and become more and more frequent Margot had started to worry about actually being ill.
As Margot stood from her crouching position on the floor and made her way to the sink to wash her mouth and splash some water on her heated face, Margot's mind wondered back to this morning.
It was 5:47 in the morning when an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach woke Margot up. As her eyes fluttered open, she could feel the ingredients of her Greek salad fighting its way up her throat. Instantly Margot made a move to stand but a warm broad male arm held her secure to her bed and his chest.
"Danny, let go." Margot said in a rush as she pushed against him. She felt him shift in his sleep and she took that as her opportunity, swiftly she bounced out of their bed and ran to the en-suite, barely making it on time before her dinner decided to make a second appearance.
"Oh god." Margot moaned in disgust as she saw the remaining parts of her dinner lay out in front of her. Just as she was lowering her head down to continue vomiting everything in her, Margot felt a warm hand start to rub her back gently through her silky nightgown. Knowing exactly who it was and not wanting him to see her like this, Margot tried to pull herself from his touch only to have his strong hands reaching around her waist to rest on her stomach and pulled her back so her weight rested on his bare chest.
Too tired and with no energy what so ever, Margot sighed and let herself be pulled into the warmth of his body and rested her head on his shoulder whilst she closed her eyes. As soon as Danny started running his fingers acrossed her lower belly, Margot could feel her stomach relaxing as if he had caste a spell on her or something equally magical.
"Are you sure you don't need to go to a doctor?" Danny asked in a whisper as he placed the cold rag; he brought from the kitchen when he heard her throwing up, on her forehead to keep her temperature down as well as calm her quaking body.
"It's nothing, probably just food poisoning. I'll be fine darling, no need to worry." Margot said reassuringly even though she was not convinced of the reason she just gave to justify her repeated illness.
"Ok, I'm taking your word for it but if this gets worse we're going go to a doctor whether you like it or not." His words were said strongly, leaving no room for rebuttal.
Deciding it was better to just appease him than start an argument, Margot nodded in agreement before shifting to get up from the floor, the action was achieved with the help of Danny; Her body had zero energy to even attempt at pulling herself off the floor alone.
Margot moved to the sink and brushed her teeth and put water on her face. After she was done, Margot moved back to the bed and laid down, she saw as Danny moved out the room and into the hallway but was too tired to ask him of his intentions.
After a minute of waiting for his return past, Margot's eyes started to drop and just as she was being pulled into dreamland she felt a loving caress on her right cheek. Her eyes opened with reluctance, her gaze immediately fell upon Danny's deep brown orbs and was about to question him when she saw the glass of ginger ale in his left hand.
"Thanks darling." Margot said as she sat upright to drink it and felt the bed deep due to Danny's weight as he moved to lay down and rested his head on her stomach. The action created a smile to tug on her lips as the fingers on her right hand started running through the soft hair at his nape, hearing him groan softly at the action and leave a small kiss on her lower belly. Margot took three sips of the bubbly drink before shifting back down on the bed. Danny moved up to wrap his arms around her stomach and bury his face in her neck as he often did ever since she came back four months ago. Before dream land could take full claim of her consciousness, Margot felt a light kiss on her neck and the symptoms screaming at her that something major was happening to her.
Warnings she chose to ignore as she let her lover's deep breathes on her neck lull her to sleep.
Shaking her head to rid of that memory, Margot was finishing tapping the corner of her mouth her with the towel when she heard a knock on the door and Tessa's accented voice sounding through the wooden door.
"Mum, are you alright?" The recently turned 16 year olds voice coming out softly filled with worry.
"Yes, I'll be right out." Margot called back before running a hand through her curls before turning the handle and walking out the bathroom effectively coming face to face with her daughter.
"Mum, are you sure you're alright? You look a bit pale." Once again, Margot could hear the worry in her voice which warmed her heart at how far their relationship had gotten in the past year.
"Yes, I am. Something I ate didn't seat well apparently. Now, come along I have to drop you off at AVI before going to the meeting with the investors." Margot said as she moved to get her purse and started checking that everything she needed was there before placing it on her arm and making her way out of the master bedroom and down the stairs of the penthouse.
"I still don't understand why I can't go with you. I mean, it's my business too so I should be involved." Tessa said with annoyance in her voice as she trailed behind her mother.
"Darling, just because you will inherit all of it once I'm dead, doesn't mean you need to start worrying about the business now."
"Ok, but this problem has been hindering our business since the 15th of this month and now is the 20th which means -"
"What did you say?" Margot's question effectively paused Tessa's rambling. The blond turned to face her daughter fully as her mind started raising with this new information.
"Which part?" Tessa asked as she saw her mother's face turn a deadly white as if she had seen a ghost.
"Today is May 20th? Oh god." Margot whispered these words to herself before turning to Tessa whom was looking at her as if she's gone crazy and with as much confidence as she could master, ordered, "Tessa go wait in the car, I just remember I have to do something before we leave."
"Ok, but don't take too long."
Once she was alone, Margot ran up the grand staircase that led to the upper level of the penthouse and nearly ran to the master bedroom this time for a whole different motive than 30 minutes ago and made her way to the en-suit and crouched down in order to be at eye level with the sinks lower cabinet and started searching for the item that could possibly change her life forever. After two minutes of searching and throwing things across the bathroom, the blond finally found it, the pregnancy test. Margot had purchased it on impulse a few weeks ago, thinking that even if she won't need to use it ever, it was good to have at least one in her supplies. Boy was she wrong... here she was actually taking use of that pregnancy test.
Once she was done, Margot set to wait the required three minutes. As she walked back and forth across the large bathroom, Margot started thinking back to all the symptoms of tiredness, food sensitivity, the constant need to throw up anything she dares eat but the most obvious and final of all was her lateness. Margot Bishop was late, as she calculated the Brit realized that she was 2 months late on getting her monthly visit.
"Lord, this can't be happening. I can't be pregnant, it's just not possible." Those words were whispered into the empty bathroom as Margot tried to make sense of both possibilities.
If the test comes back negative, Margot could pretend this scare never happened and go back to her business. With it not affecting her whatsoever, wouldn't even be worth telling Danny about.
But if it turns out to be positive, that would be a major curveball thrown at her. Just the thought of it terrified Margot, how was she supposed to raise a child when her life at the moment was so hectic and dangerous? How would Danny feel about becoming a dad? how would she tell Tessa? How was she supposed to run her now progressing and powerful empire with a pregnancy belly then with an infant at her hands? All of these questions and doubts started swirling around her mind, making her more nervous and anxious for the results.
'No this is just too much. It has to be negative, that's the logical answer. It can't be -' Margot's thoughts were halted as her eyes laid upon the two pink sticks on the pregnancy test.
Margot stood rooted to her spot beside the sink, her gaze focused upon the little stick that had at that very moment altered her life forever, the Brit glared back at the object as if it were mocking her. After a few more seconds of staring down the little stick trying desperately to somehow change what she already knew to be true, Margot took a deep breath and slowly let it out before she pulled her gaze from the pregnancy test and directed it to her flat stomach. As gently as she dared to, Margot placed her right hand on her lower abdomen and ran her trembling fingers on the soft material of her form fitted long sleeved black dress.
"I'm pregnant. I'm going to be a mum... again." These words slipped from her rose colored tainted lips with a barely audible whisper, disbelief dripping from each word. The realization that she was actually with child hit her so hard that she lost her breath and her eyes began to overflow with unshed tears.
Margot was going to have a baby. She was going to be the mother of Danny's first child.
"Oh god." Margot exclaimed before she fixed herself and walked out of the bathroom which she spent many a hour in these days and with slightly quivering legs moved out of the bedroom, making her way down the stares slowly, each step feeling like a nail biting into her feet and her body not feeling her own as the pregnancy test began to feel as if it weighted a thousand pounds as she held it in her hand once she stepped into the living room, Margot took a deep breath and began to silence the screaming voices in her head. The blond Brit walked over to her purse and placed the pregnancy test in the small hidden pocket inside before making her way out the door. Deciding to deal with this new found information in a later time.
Margot had felt Tessa's eyes on her all during the car ride to AVI and the wait for the elevator as well as the journey through the halls of the glass building. It had irritated Margot at first but she had decided to just ignore her daughter's stares, she had much more pressing things to worry about like the life she only 20 minutes ago realized was growing inside of her. As well as the person half responsible for her current predicament, at she thought of Danny her stomach started turning again and her head began to feel unnaturally light.
'No, please not now.' Margot pleaded in her mind as she felt her vision blur just as the elevator door opened. Swiftly mother and daughter stepped out the elevator, Margot's movements slower than Tessa's, her dizziness had increased with each step she took. By the time she made it to where the conference room was, Margot was on the verge of tripping over her feet since her vision was not cooperating with her but played it off, the last thing the Brit needed now was to draw any unwanted attention to herself.
Once mother and daughter made it through the halls and to their destination; the conference room, Tessa opened the door to let her mother in before turning around and making her way to Alice's office. Margot had realized as she stepped into the room that if she didn't sit down in the next five seconds, she will either faint or throw up; the strong scent of coffee that filled the room overwhelmed her senses causing her to breath through her mouth in order to not spill her goats all over the conference room floor, that was not an option, specially with Alice's main team of Val, and Sophie as well as Ben and her boyfriend there to watch either of those events occur.
"Good, Margot you're here. We have a lead on Rhys and in what he is planning on doing now that he knows you and Ben are back." Margot hears Alice say as the Holden blond haired woman moved to sit next Danny at the other end of the table. She watched as Danny pulled his gaze from his laptop to give her what she assumed to be a loving smile that quickly transformed into a frown and a worry expression to paint itself on his face, at seeing his brows frown together and his questioning and worried eyes on her, Margot tried to reassure him by giving him a soft smile.
"Ok, just give me a brief summary, I have a meeting to attend." Margot's words were said as even as she could make them to be but there was an underlying discomfort that didn't go unnoticed by Danny who had been watching her like a hawk since she sat down.
"Well, we saw him making his way inside the rectory, what ever he is planning on doing or using against you is in there." Said Danny as he showed her the pictures taken of her brother, Margot nodded her head, the movement causing her dizziness to worsen to the point where she needed to close her eyes and breath deeply as she brought her shaky right hand to her forehead, willing the dizziness to subside.
"Hey, are you alright?" Danny asked as he turned to face his girlfriend fully, rolling the chair closer to her until their knees touched and he took her hand in his then started to run slow calming circles on her palm with his thumb. He waited for her to open her eyes before asking her any other question as to not overwhelm her.
"Yes, I'm fine. I just got a bit lightheaded, I'm alright darling." Margot was finally able to say as she opened her eyes and automatically looked into his deep brown orbs that at that moment were laced with a deep worry and she gave him a small smile. Margot's heart filled up at the thought of him worrying just like that or more so over a little boy with raven hair, adorable freckles covering his dimpled cheeks and eyes a deep honey brown that had a way of looking straight through her soul just like his daddy's do as he ran through their penthouse like a tornado or maybe a little girl with blond hair, blue eyes, her daddy's freckles on her cheeks, a daddy's girl attitude that would have Danny wrapped around her little fingers as she demanded for all she wanted with her mother's strongwilled attitude.
All these thoughts forming in her head were making her heart speed up and were doing nothing to ease her dizziness, in fact it was making it all worse.
"Maybe we should go to the hospital." Danny suggested, as he took her other hand in his and intertwined their fingers together and rested it on his leg.
Margot shook her head and she stood from her chair although her hands were still laced with his since Danny's touch seemed to be the only thing able to calm her nerves and nausea and said, "I told you this morning that there's no need for that, now I have to go to a meeting. We'll talk once I get home about Rhys and everything else." Margot rushed through her words, the dizziness coming back in waves as soon as she let go of his hands, not at all relenting, in fact it seemed like it had gotten worse.
Taking a deep breath through her mouth, trying hard not to smell the horrid scent of coffee, she made her way to walk to the door. As she was inches away from the door handle, Margot froze as suddenly the whole room started to spin off its axis, her stomach churned as she tried to breath. The Brit could sense people around her and talking but it was all white noise as the room continued to spin, feeling as if her conscience had ripped itself out of her body and everything was detached and out of her control.
Margot closed her eyes and opened them again trying to tether herself to something when suddenly she felt the warmth of a very familiar set of hands on her arms and it was as if at that gentle touch her whole life righted itself again and she could finally surrender to the tiredness and blankness because she knew or rather her subconscious knew that those hands and that warmth that they were spreading through her being were going to keep her safe. The last thing she saw as Margot used up her last grim of energy and before everything turned black as she let herself fall into oblivion was her man's worried and panicked face.