Chapter 1: March 2018: Harry Styles Releases Second Album
Excerpt: "I could just bring my copy of the CD over to you."
It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love - "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" by Stars
"So have you heard it?" Georgina asked as she sat across from Zac in a restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. Their usual breakfast hang out on Saturday's.
"Heard what?" Zac asked with a raised eyebrow as he looked at the brunette with his curiosity piqued.
"Harry's new album," Georgina shrugged as she gave him a smirk. A smirk that Zac knew was her I have a secret and you don't know it smirk.
Zac shook his head, "Kind of didn't see the use in buying my ex-lover's album George," he muttered out before taking a bite of his food. "Why does it suck?" he questioned after swallowing his food a bit too fast.
"Harry's music suck?" Georgina asked with a playful hint to her tone. "No his music doesn't suck. It's just all twenty of the songs on his album are about you," she said as her I have a secret smirk grew. "Everyone in the industry and the press is talking about and wondering if you knew."
Going silent Zac let Georgina's words sink in. Really let them hit him as he thought of Harry writing an album about him. An entire album full of twenty songs.
"Is it about me?" Zac asked turning the tables on her. "I know you're still in contact with him. You're his stylist for god sakes," he laughed wondering if it was even appropriate that they were still friends. But Georgina had been his friend first and she had also been how he had met Harry.
Inviting him to some swanky Hollywood party and of course he had went because Zac could never turn down his best friend's request of going to a party. Even if he had just been dumped a week prior and had still wanted to mope.
Georgina took a bite of her waffles as she just eyed Zac. Zac getting the feeling she had taken the bite just to leave him hanging on her words.
"I mean I just said all twenty songs were about you," she finally said as if he were dumb. "Of course they're about you."
Narrowing his eyes Zac sighed, "I meant has Harry confirmed it to you or are you just going on what the press thinks it's about which we all know the press is usually wrong. For all they know maybe he wrote it for one of the many men he fucked after me."
"Be careful Zac honey you're bitterness is showing," Georgina reprimanded him though she didn't sound too serious. It was no secret after all that Zac was jealous of how quickly it had taken Harry to rebound after their relationship had ended. "But he may have confirmed it to me. I won't tell you either way until you listen to the album yourself and make your own assumptions dear Zachary."
Keeping his eyes narrow Zac just took another bite of his food. "You're evil," he told her knowing she was indeed evil. "That would mean buying an album that I don't want to buy because I don't want to hear Harry's music."
"Not necessarily," Georgina corrected him as she locked eyes with him. "I could just bring my copy of the CD over to you."
"You could," Zac nodded his head but even that prospect didn't sound good. "But I've done told you I don't want to listen to the album."
Georgina laughed at that before standing up after she had finished her food, "Oh you'll listen to it Zachary of that I am certain," she spoke like she was confident he would. "Now be a dear and pay for my part of the bill too. I have to run some errands before going to the place where Harry is doing a photo shoot today. Have to make that ex of yours look all pretty," she winked before turning and leaving before Zac could even protest.
Not that he would have because again he would do anything for Georgina. Even if the damn woman frustrated him and frayed everyone of his last nerves.
Which of course she had done today by bringing up Harry and his album. Because Harry was still a sore subject in his life. No matter how much he tried to say that Harry wasn't a sore subject in his life.
Zac just hadn't moved on after their breakup in mid 2017. Listening to Harry's music would just make it harder to try doing what he'd been doing every day since they broke up. Trying to get over the man he had once been convinced was the one.
Heaving a sigh Zac finished what was left of his meal. His brain trying to decide what he should do on listening to Harry's album because despite himself he was now curious if the thing was about him or not.
"Remind me again why I had to buy this album for you?" Taylor asked as he sat with Zac in his living room.
Zac looked down at Taylor who sat on his couch as he unwrapped the CD. Knowing he didn't have to make Taylor go out and buy the CD. He could have just borrowed Georgina's copy but in the end he didn't want to let Georgina know he listened to it.
Didn't want to hear her gloating when she told him she knew he'd cave and give it a listen too.
"Because if I went out and bought it they'd surely make articles on that. A list Model Zac Hanson buy's ex-boyfriend Harry Styles' album which is probably about him," Zac spoke mocking what a headline would probably say. "I don't want it known I have this."
Taylor snorted a laugh as he rolled his eyes, "So you send your porn star brother to do it because you know they won't write articles about me. God forbid your porn star brother taint your image or even Harry's."
"That's about the gist of it," Zac confirmed with a nod of his head as he walked over to the CD player he kept on a shelf in his living room. A bundle of nerves forming in the pit of his stomach as he opened the player and put the CD in.
It was only after it began to play that he felt like maybe he shouldn't have done it. Maybe it would be best not to know because what would he do if he knew? Too much time had passed so it wasn't like they could even try again maybe Harry didn't even want that.
Maybe if the album was about Zac it was Harry's way of getting closure.
That thought alone was enough to make Zac reach out and stop the song before Harry could even begin to sing.
"What the hell Zac?" Taylor questioned from where he was still seated on the couch and Zac didn't turn to face him. "I was kind of looking forward to listening to the album."
"Then take it home with you," Zac grunted out almost too ashamed to face his older brother.
Taylor laughed at that which well that was enough to make Zac turn to look at him. A scowl on Zac's face.
"What's so funny Taylor?"
"Nothing's funny," Taylor denied though his expression said otherwise. "Just I never thought I'd see the day that you were chickenshit over something is all."
Zac kept his scowl as he crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm not chickenshit," he defended. "I just don't want to listen to the album now. I mean what if it is about me Taylor? What if it just opens a can of worms I keep trying to forget?"
"You mean you're jealousy at Harry fucking half the male population since your breakup and how you still love him?" Taylor questioned because leave it to his brother to be as blunt as Georgina was with him. "Though I must remind you it is your fault you two broke up."
Looking away from Taylor after he mentioned the last bit Zac felt his cheeks getting hot. "I know I messed up okay," he told Taylor with a sigh. "I should just declare that already. I fucked shit up and ruined everything. I'm the reason Harry's been on a constant rebound and probably wrote an entire album about me."
"About time you said it too," Taylor told him as he gave him a look. "I still don't get why you cheated either. Why you slept with Candy Fitzgerald when you had fucking Harry Styles."
"Because Harry and I were having problems then," Zac told Taylor even though he knew it was no excuse to have cheated on the boy he had dated for three years. Almost four by the time they had broken up. "I was stupid and I was doing that photo shoot for a magazine cover with Candy and I gave into what she wanted."
"Did you even think you'd lose Harry?"
Zac kept his gaze off Taylor as he ran a hand through his hair. "No I didn’t now shut up and stop talking.”
Taylor seemed to ponder that which did make him go silent for a bit. Zac feeling thankful for the reprieve because he was kind of hating that Taylor had to remind him that he was the reason Harry was gone. Even Georgina was kind enough to spare him those details.
Georgina knew Zac's cheating on Harry was even more of a sore subject than Harry himself was.
"I'll shut up once you start the album again," Taylor countered and as Zac looked at him he saw the shit eating grin on Taylor's face.
Glaring Zac shook his head before turning back and hitting play once again. Knowing full well if he didn't Taylor really wouldn't shut up and would delve deeper into all of Zac's wrongs. Remind Zac how much he had royally fucked up the best thing he had.
Which was the last thing Zac needed. Not when he did that all on his own half the time especially when he got drunk and wasted.
Almost wished he was drunk right now because maybe alcohol would have made this better if he came to find out this album was about him.
Chapter 2: March 2013: Hollywood Hookup: Harry Styles Leaves Album Release Party With Model Zac Hanson
Excerpt: "And look at you Zachary quoting Elton John and failing," Georgina mocked him with a giggle.
The night is on your lips and I feel like I'm locked in
There's a million lights, I don't care if they're watching
Your body is saying everything, I don't have to read your mind
Feel you on my neck while I'm calling a taxi
Climbing over me while I climb in the backseat
Now we're taking off, now we're taking it off tonight- "Temporary Fix" by One Direction
"You know you should come with me to that party tonight," Georgina mused her voice bringing Zac out of his thoughts. "I think it would do you some good."
Scoffing Zac crossed his arms over his chest as he sat on the couch in the apartment he shared with Georgina. "What would be good for me is staying home and drinking all the alcohol the god lord made and watching romantic comedies on netflix."
"And wallowing in your pity over your break up with Hayes," Georgina sighed sounding exasperated. Which she must have been.
Ever since Hayes had dumped him two weeks ago Georgina had done nice on her pact not to mention the woman's name and here she was now saying it.
"It's been a week you need to forget her and move on," Georgina continued in Zac's silence. "Hayes has forgotten about you. I mean she was spotted in Spain yesterday with the photographer she may have cheated on you with."
"She didn't cheat and I don't need to move on," Zac defended as he broke his silence. "There is no time limit on how long one is allowed to mourn an ex love."
"There is when that ex was a bitch who treated you like shit and then cheated on you so carelessly. Making up some piss poor reason for dumping you when even the tabloids can see through her bullshit and know it's because Victoria's newest angel cheated with a photographer half her age."
Zac went silent as Georgina went off on her tirade. A part of him feeling endeared by it because it showed just how much she was like a concerned sister for him. Probably more so concerned then Jessica or Avery would be in this situation. After all he wasn't particularly close to either of his sister's. Even if both had moved out to California for college.
His whole family minus Isaac and Zoe making it here because for some god damn reason they couldn't stay in Oklahoma and just let him get away.
Then again hadn't he done the same to Taylor sorta. Running out here after Taylor did but then again he was close with Taylor always had been despite their differences.
Zac sighed finally as he uncrossed his arms, "Who is the party for?" he finally asked not conceding that he would go.
But if going would get Georgina to shut up then he'd go. Then again he probably would have went anyway because it was Georgina and she was his friend who followed him out here when they were both eighteen and how could he ever turn her down?
Despite what he thought of her wrong opinions on his love life and how he chose to get over it he'd always love her enough to eventually do whatever she asked him too.
"Harry Styles," Georgina beamed so bright that she could have given the sun competition for who was the brightest. "That guy who hired me to be his stylist for the photo shoot for his album. His album release party tonight is at some high end hotel and I got an invite with a plus one attached."
Zac snorted a laugh at that as he reached for Georgina's wrist to pull her down into his lap, "And you didn't ask my more handsome, nicer brother Taylor to go with you?" he questioned knowing Georgina had always had a crush on Taylor.
Taylor being the blonde that he was had no idea or he could have and was just ignoring it. Zac wasn't sure which.
"I considered it," Georgina admitted as she scrunched up her nose. Her blue eyes staying away from Zac's brown. "But I realized it's probably not a good rep to show up with a porn star when I think Harry may actually give me a full time job as his stylist."
Smirking at the last bit Zac leaned in to kiss Georgina on the cheek. "Look at you George," he told her sounding like a proud brother. "Going to get your dream of being a seamstress for a band or well singer."
"And look at you Zachary quoting Elton John and failing," Georgina mocked him with a giggle. "Now will you please come with me?"
Zac pursed his lips like he was thinking it over, "I want to say no," he told her seeing a look of disappointment cross her face briefly. "But because I love you oh so much I am going to say yes."
It was with that Georgina's look of disappointment disappeared and she moved from Zac's lap. "Thank you Zachary," she squealed. "Now to go and pick out our outfits," she spoke loudly as she walked down the hall.
Zac standing from the couch as he followed after her. "I don't need you dressing me George," he told her knowing she was already plotting an outfit for him in her head.
"I beg to differ Zac," Georgina spouted off without even turning to look at him. "If it were up to you, you'd wear some odd suit and a bow tie."
"There's nothing wrong with that," Zac told her as they made it to his room but when she did turn to look at him and he saw the death glare she gave him he swore his life flashed in front of his eyes. So he decided then and there just to shut up and let her chose his outfit.
She was a stylist after all. Good enough that she would maybe after tonight have a full time job with Hollywood's newest it singer. The one and only Harry Styles.
A man Zac knew of because his new single was in Zac's opinion being overplayed on the radio. Played enough that Zac could probably recite every lyric of Carolina in his sleep.
Not that he'd ever admit that out loud because he had a reputation to uphold and it wouldn't be a good look if people knew he liked Harry's music.
"These pants are so tight," Zac hissed out to Georgina as he stood in front of the mirror in his room after they were both dressed and ready for the party.
Georgina was dressed in some purple sundress with black leggings and matching ballet flats and for him she had chosen a button down white shirt paired with a pair of black skinny jeans that he was sure were Taylor's and yet had somehow ended up at their apartment and in his own closet.
Probably because Taylor always found reasons to pawn his laundry off on Georgina like Zac did too.
"Aww are you afraid you won't be able to have kids?" Georgina asked clearly teasing him. "They may be tight but the accentuate your dick perfectly."
Rolling his eyes at that Zac turned to look at her, "And you would care about that why? Last I checked you don't find me sexually attractive there George."
Georgina laughed as her cheeks took on a pink tint, "No but I can still find your dick attractive. That and it may help you get laid tonight," she shrugged sheepishly and Zac should have known that was her true intentions on dressing him.
Dress him attractive enough that someone would want to fuck the poor brokenhearted model who the world knew had been cheated on.
"Now put your hair up into a bun and get moving," Georgina added on in his silence before leaving his room. "I don't want to be the last ones to arrive."
"Yeah and I don't want to get laid," Zac hollered after her before moving to find a hair tie so he could pull his hair up into a bun.
It was his typical look nowadays for his hair and everyone seemed to love it. Though Hayes never really had. Maybe that was one reason she may have cheated.
Sitting at the hotel bar as the party raged on around him music seemed to blare from every corner and Zac wondered why he had even came. This party wasn't his type of thing even if it was Georgina's who seemed to fit right in among the posh ritzy hipsters who took up space here.
Then again it was the thought of Georgina that made Zac realize why he was here. Because his best friend had asked him since she couldn't bring his brother to a place like this and maybe ruin her chances of fitting in. Despite her crush on said brother knowing his job as a porn star wasn't the best.
At least not with anyone who was anybody in Hollywood.
Yet Zac had done his due. He had showed up he could easily leave now but he hadn't. Instead he was sitting here at the bar drinking a coke and rum and the reason he had stayed wasn't because of Georgina. No he had stayed because for some odd reason he had gotten a bit of a thrill at looking at the host of the event.
The man of the hour himself. Harry Styles who had just recently turned nineteen and was a sight for sore eyes or so Zac thought but again of course it was something he wouldn't admit too. Wouldn't admit that whenever he had gotten the chance tonight his eyes always searched for Harry in the crowed.
Liked the way Harry looked in his black t-shirt and too tight jeans. Jeans that could have been as tight as Zac's own were or they could have been a bit tighter.
His hair also looked like he had just woken up but the bedhead look seemed to suit Harry and Zac hated that even thinking about Harry's look was enough to make him hard. Especially since it seemed the man...boy was surrounded by a lovely group of young females.
Females who were better looking than Zac himself and Zac wasn't even sure if Harry was gay. Almost wished he had asked Georgina that.
"You always sit at the bars when you come to parties?" a voice asked bringing Zac out of his own head and as he turned in the general direction of the voice Zac blushed when he saw the man he had been thinking of beside him.
Somehow being too preoccupied in his own thoughts that he hadn't seen Harry come towards the bar or sit down beside him.
"I don't usually go to parties like this," Zac answered as he felt his cheeks getting hotter with his confession. Which his confession was partly the truth.
He didn't usually go to parties like this. Usually he avoided parties altogether though he had went to some with Hayes but for some reason her friends were all older than this crowd so the party was a bit more tame.
Harry looked at him skeptically like he didn't believe a word of what Zac had said. "Well then if you don't usually do parties then what brings you to mine?" he questioned right before a bartender came over to get his drink order.
Zac waiting until Harry gave it to answer him and once the bartender left and Harry's gaze was back on him Zac chewed his lip.
"My friend," Zac answered as he turned and spotted Georgina in the crowd. "George," he spoke as he pointed to where she was dancing with some blonde guy who looked like he'd be best singing with a guitar or something.
"Ah Georgina," Harry nodded as he followed where Zac was pointing too after he had turned around as well. "My new stylist."
Zac couldn't help but grin as he heard the last bit of what Harry said. Proud that Georgina had gotten the job she had dreamed of growing up. Being a stylist....to someone famous. Though she had always said she was joking back then Zac knew she hadn't been.
Not truly anyway.
"You think she'd mind if I danced with her plus one?" Harry asked as he leaned into Zac which caused Zac to take a huge gulp of his rum and coke. A shiver going down his spine because he had felt Harry's breath hit his skin.
Zac took a deep breath once he had swallowed his drink, "What about the drink you ordered?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.
Harry only smirked as he inched even closer to Zac, "I think I'm kind of thirsty for something else instead," he stated and the way his hand casually came to rest on Zac's thigh. It was enough to let Zac know what he wanted as well as confirm that Harry was into men.
So maybe he was bi like Zac himself was or he could have been gay. Either way it just confirmed that he liked men as a preference.
"Oh," Zac finally spoke blushing again at his lack of ability to say anything else.
"Just oh?" Harry asked with a laugh as he inched his hand a bit higher on Zac's thigh. "No yes or no on if Georgina would mind if I danced with you?"
Zac blushed a bit more as he chewed on his lip before answering Harry. "I mean she's dancing with the blonde dude who looks like an indie musician so I doubt she'd mind."
"Well in that case how about dancing with me then Zac?" Harry mused and Zac had to take another gulp of his drink with the way Harry was looking at him as if he could eat him alive and the bad thing was Zac positive he'd let Harry.
He'd willingly let Harry eat him alive right now. A thought which made his cock which was already half hard get just a bit harder.
"S...sure," Zac answered hating the way his voice had cracked when he spoke. Something Harry must have caught because Harry smirked again quickly before standing up and offering his hand to Zac.
Zac taking Harry's hand and letting himself be lead out onto the crowded dance floor after he had set his half empty cup down.
Almost thankful now that he had alcohol in him because it helped with his nerves since Harry was practically on top of him once they reached the dance floor.
Zac was sure part of Harry being on top of him was because of how crowded it was but he was also sure the other part was just Harry continuing the flirting he had started at the bar. Especially when Harry literally pushed his ass against Zac's crotch as he began to grind on Zac as the DJ began playing some rap song that Zac had never heard of.
Then again Zac didn't listen to rap period. Rap was more Taylor's thing.
"You know you can touch me and move too," Harry spoke loud enough that Zac could hear him over the music. "May even help that little or not so little problem you have in your pants."
Zac who had heard every word of what Harry said blushed again before putting his hands on Harry's waist as he allowed his body to move with the music and also Harry's own movements. Though of course the dancing did nothing to help the semi he had going on.
Something that of course Harry had known. Which was probably why he had suggested him to move. Because he knew it would just make the hard on worse for Zac. A fact Zac was sure Harry didn't mind.
Not if his flirting was anything to go by though if Zac were honest he was surprised Harry was flirting with him. There were tons more hot men here. Men closer to Harry's age.
"You know this isn't really helping my problem," Zac finally spoke as he pulled Harry closer to him. Shivering some when Harry found a way to slink an arm around his neck. His head slowly turning enough so that he was looking at Zac.
A clear Cheshire cat smile on his lips. Dimples popping out on both sides of his cheeks and Zac swore he looked like some god or something then.
A walking sex god who had caught his prey in a web. The prey being Zac of course.
"I hoped it wouldn't," Harry spoke sounding genuine to Zac. "Was kind of hoping I could be the one helping with that," he revealed as he slowly turned around in Zac's grip. His arm moving off Zac now. "Kind of want to take you home," he told him as he leaned in close.
Close enough that Zac couldn't help but look at his lips. Lips which looked so damn kissable.
"Can I take you home Zachary?" he asked with a slight pout and Zac knew he wouldn't be saying no. Not when his cock twitched inside of his jeans at the idea.
"Can I kiss you first?" Zac countered wanting to blame his question on the alcohol in his veins but he wasn't sure he could.
Harry nodded his head at that, his smile growing and Zac leaned in after the nod. His lips connecting with Harry's in a kiss that was far from chaste.
It was frantic and needy and Harry's hands somehow found their way onto Zac's waist and he was the one pulling Zac closer now.
Zac being able to feel from that, that Harry too was hard now. That Harry needed his help with a problem as much as Zac needed Harry's help.
"We....we should go now," Harry murmured into Zac's mouth before pulling away. "Get a cab and go back to my place," he told spoke before turning and Zac was powerless to resist. He followed willingly behind Harry as they headed outside.
Not even caring as the paparazzi who were close by started snapping pictures as soon as they came out.
Even though Zac knew the pictures would be used in articles tomorrow. Unless of course Harry wasn't out yet and then his team would probably try to cover this as much as they could.
Coming out of his thoughts though Zac just continued to follow Harry through the group of paparazzi as they made their way to one of the many waiting taxis outside of the hotel. Feeling a bit relieved when they got into one.
Though the moment the door was shut Harry gave his address to the driver in a hurry and turned to Zac. Pulling him into another kiss before Zac even knew what was coming.
Zac returning the kiss almost eagerly as he found a way to move into Harry's lap as the taxi took off. His hips rutting down into Harry which made the man moan out. His hands going to grip at Zac's ass through his jeans.
Zac knowing it had been ages since he had a shameless one night stand. Before he had gotten with Hayes so he hoped he wasn't rusty when it came to what he and Harry would be doing tonight.
When they made it to Harry's house Zac almost...almost hated having to move off Harry long enough to get out of the taxi and head towards the door. But the moment they reached the door Harry pushed him up against the door. Kissing him hard.
Zac moaning out as their hips brushed together and Harry's hands slid under the shirt he had on. A part of him wondering if Harry wouldn't have minded fucking him right there against the door.
Not that Zac would protest. He didn't think he was against public sex he just hadn't done it often. Only once with the first boy he had, had sex with when he was sixteen and that had been in the boys backseat in the driveway of some house while a party had been going on.
"We should...go inside," Zac muttered out in between kisses a shiver running down his spine as Harry's hand found it's way higher under his shirt even with the buttons done all the way up. "Unless of course you're okay with fucking me out here and risking the paparazzi coming and seeing."
Harry laughed at that as he pulled away from Zac. "I mean we could give them a free show. Then your brother wouldn't be the only porn star in the family," he spoke and Zac was surprised that Harry knew that fact.
Something Zac figured Georgina could have told him. But Zac hadn't figured they were that close yet even if Harry had hired her as his stylist.
Surely Georgina would have told him if she were closer to Harry than just a working relationship. Georgina was awful at keeping secrets from him because at the end of the day they both knew each other so well.
Blushing Zac shook his head, "Kind of prefer the modeling to porn," he said watching as Harry smirked at his response but moved away from him.
Moving to unlock the door which once it was open Zac followed him inside. Both of them staying silent as they walked towards Harry's bedroom or Zac assumed that was where Harry was taking him anyway.
Even with the silence though the electric sexually charged energy that was between them stayed and once they did make it to their destination Harry was on Zac again. Kissing him and pushing him up against a wall. His hips rutting into Zac's.
"You feel that?" Harry asked into the kiss as he bit down on Zac's bottom lip softly. "Want you so bad right now but first I want to suck your cock. At least for a bit," he whispered as he pulled away long enough to look into Zac's eyes. "Want you in my mouth."
Moaning at Harry's words Zac swallowed hard as he felt his cock twitch once more. Apparently wanting the same things that Harry did.
"Then get to sucking," Zac spoke surprised at how bold he sounded. He wasn't sure he had ever been that bold with anyone.
Harry didn't seem to waste any time after Zac's words to him. Zac watched as he seemed to eagerly drop down onto his knees in front of him. His hands going to Zac's jeans which he undid pushing them down enough that Zac could step out of them.
Leaving his boxers on which confused Zac at first. At least until Harry reached out and rubbed him through the material of his boxers. His eyes moving to look up at Zac.
"You sure you really want me to suck your cock Zachary?" Harry asked him and Zac kind of liked the way he said Zachary.
All low and seductive. It was a plus with the fuck me eyes Harry was giving him.
"Wouldn't want anything else right now," Zac replied back honestly a moan coming out as Harry rubbed him again. Slower this time. "Your lips look so lovely and fuck I need them around me," he all but growled out now as he locked eyes with Harry.
"Just fucking suck me off already Styles."
Harry once again finally seemed to obey Zac. Taking his boxers off finally and once they were gone Harry reached out taking Zac's cock in his hand. Pumping him for a few minutes or maybe it was seconds before wrapping his mouth around Zac's aching cock.
Zac moaning loudly as his head leaned back against the wall. His legs feeling like jelly almost as Harry began to bob his head up and down on his cock. Working his mouth like he was skilled. Zac realizing then that this wasn't Harry's first rodeo giving a blow job and now Zac was almost leaning towards Harry being gay instead of bi but of course now wasn't the time to ask.
Not when Harry's mouth was moving so nicely on his hard cock. A cock that was enjoying every second it spent in Harry's warm mouth.
So instead of speaking up Zac closed his eyes. Letting out moans every now and then. Especially when Harry started taking him farther into his mouth. To the point where he was almost...just almost deepthroating Zac and Zac was loving every second of that too.
Not sure if he had ever had anyone ever take him that far in their mouth before.
Which was probably why he was so close. Something he knew he should warn Harry about so he opened his eyes to look down at him but before he could even look down at Harry his gaze stopped at the poster that was on the wall above Harry's bed.
A poster Zac knew well because it was a blown up image of the cover he did for some men's magazine. A cover in which he had been clad only in his boxers. The idea having scared him at first because while he was a model he still had body issues and being practically naked on a magazine cover didn't help them.
But right now here leaned against Harry's bedroom wall as Harry sucked him off and with the knowledge that the man sucking his cock had a poster of him half naked on his wall. Well it was enough to make Zac come. Without even getting to warn Harry.
But Harry didn't seem to mind. He swallowed all Zac had to give him before moving his mouth off him with an obscene pop and as they locked eyes Zac knew just from the devilish smile on Harry's face that it didn't matter that he'd came that way.
He'd be getting hard again before the night was through. Harry would make sure of it.
A thought that had Zac already semi turned on because it had been so long since he'd gotten hard twice in one night. Had never happened with Hayes or even the one night stands and hookups before Hayes.
Chapter 3: March 2013: Zac Hanson Has Steamy Bathroom Hookup With Harry Styles
Excerpt: "I didn't think he'd be your type," Georgina defended.
I know you want it
I know you feel it too.
Let's stop pretending.
That you don't know what I don't know
Just what we came to do.-"Little White Lies" by One Direction
"So what is going on with you two?" Georgina asked as she sat down at the table across from Zac. "It's been two weeks since the album release party and you've hung out with him three times now."
Zac raised an eyebrow, "Who is this him you speak of?" he asked teasingly though he knew who Georgina meant. She was referring to Harry.
The man who it seemed was more than just a one night stand for him because of the fact that somehow since then they had ran into each other three more times. Purely by happenstance...sorta. Except each time one would text the other their whereabouts.
Usually when they'd be out clubbing and oddly the other would happen to show up. Which was probably why it had been a bad idea for them to exchange numbers but they had.
"Don't give me that ignorance bullshit Zac," Georgina sighed. "What's going on with you and Harry?"
Smirking Zac looked down at his cereal. "Nothing. It's exactly what it is. We happen to keep running into each other."
"Yeah and you also have sex when you do as well," Georgina spoke as she shook her head. "Are you having a no strings attached thing with my boss because that could get messy for me when feelings get involved Zachary."
"I wouldn't say it's no strings attached sex," Zac shrugged. "It's just what it is. We fuck and haven't talked about it," he said as watched Georgina roll her eyes and look at him like he was stupid.
"Yeah that is a no strings attached thing Zac," Georgina explained and of course Zac knew it but was it really that if they hadn't said? "You're going to complicate things for me and I know I wanted you to get laid when I invited you to the album release party but I didn't mean for you to fuck Harry fucking Styles."
Zac snorted out a laugh as he took a bite of the bagel he had fixed himself for breakfast. Having chosen to eat light since he had a shoot today.
"Then you should have told me your future boss had a celebrity crush on me," Zac said with a sigh. "Instead I had to find out during the blow job he was giving me when I saw that huge ass magazine cover on his wall."
Georgina playfully glared at that, "I don't want to hear talk about your sex life with my boss during breakfast."
"You brought up George," Zac reminded her as he shot her a playful glare back. "Asking me what was up. So you only have yourself to blame for hearing details as well as with me fucking him. Should have warned me about his crush on me."
"I didn't think he'd be your type," Georgina defended. "You usually go for the types that have a pussy and tits."
"Way to be vulgar George," Zac playfully scolded her. "But you know I'm bi so you shouldn't be so shocked Harry is my type."
Georgina fell silent briefly after Zac told her that. Zac positive she was thinking of her next reply which was rare for her.
Zac hardly ever made her speechless like this. It was why they were such great friends she always had a quick snarky comment for him just like he did for her. Except for now in these rare moments.
"It's been years since you dated a guy," Georgina finally spoke. "I swear the last time was in high school."
"That's dating not fucking," Zac told her as he finished his bagel. "Last time I fucked a guy wasn't long before Hayes so you failed and screwed yourself and now I may complicate things for you with your boss if feelings get attached. There is a chance they won't though," he said as he stood from the table. "Then you'll be okay."
Georgina laughed out loud at that. Genuinely laughed louder than she had in awhile. "It's you Zac and feelings will get involved. You can't fuck someone more than once without feelings. I have been your friend long enough to know if you fuck someone twice you have a tendency to get attached."
Again Zac glared as he walked away from the table to get dressed and ready to leave for his shoot. Choosing not to reply because deep down he may have known Georgina was right be he was stubborn to admit it.
Also he didn't want her being right. He wanted to prove her wrong and maybe he would. Maybe he'd go out clubbing tonight and ignore Harry if Harry happened to show up.
Zac took a hit off the joint as he sat in one of the many dressing rooms after he was done with his shoot. He didn't have to still be here but he chose to stay after to hang out with a few of his friends as well as Hayes who had dropped by.
Hayes, the same woman who had broken his heart and stomped on it after. Yet the same woman who he still loved. Still would go back too if she wasn't dating the man who she had supposedly cheated on him with.
"So you coming out to party tonight Zac?" Hayes asked bringing Zac out of his thoughts as she took the joint from his hand so effortlessly and took a hit.
An irony to Zac because when they had been dating she always scolded him for smoking yet here she was willingly sharing a joint with him now that they weren't dating.
"Why would I party?" Zac questioned as he locked eyes with Hayes. "I'm not really into that scene."
Hayes scrunched up her nose as she handed Zac the joint after she had taken a hit. "Really? Because I've seen the gossip sites. I know you've been seen out with that singer. I think his name is Harold."
"Harry," Zac corrected her rather harshly. "Just Harry and those trash sites lie all the time. I mean they also say you cheated on me with Simon."
"But I did cheat with Simon," Hayes admitted so freely that Zac felt like he had been kicked in the gut.
Maybe because he had been at least on some weird emotional level kicked in the gut. Hayes had really cheated on him and he had given her the benefit of the doubt. Had wanted to believe she hadn't cheated on him. Wanted to believe he had meant more to her than that.
Hayes again scrunched up her nose at Zac's silence. "Shit," she muttered with a shake of her head. "You really didn't know it was true?" she questioned him as they locked eyes again.
"I wanted to believe it wasn't," Zac told her as he finished off the joint. Standing up in a hurry. "Guess I shouldn't have gave you the benefit of the doubt huh?" he asked her harshly before turning to leave the room.
But before he could make it to the door he felt Hayes' hand on his wrist, making him come to a stop though he refused to turn and look at her.
Didn't want to see her face because he knew she'd use looking at him to her advantage. Find a way to weasel back inside even though she had just hurt him.
She had ways to do that despite how much of a bitch she could be because she knew Zac loved her despite her flaws.
"No, it's good you gave me that benefit," Hayes spoke her voice soft. "I just wish I could have been more deserving of it Zac. You've always been sweet like that. Giving the wrong people chances when they didn't deserve it."
"God knows you know all about me doing that," Zac snapped as he pulled his hand away from Hayes' grip. "I mean you're a pretty good example of someone who didn't deserve it and I gave it anyway," he said as he turned to face her and unlike the fake glares he had given Georgina this morning the one he was giving Hayes was very much real.
"You never deserved any of the time I spent with you but I loved you and you fucking cheated on me. After making me feel like shit so many times," Zac continued because Hayes was staying silent. "Guess you just had to do it one more time huh?" he asked before turning away from her again and leaving the room this time.
Almost thankful that she didn't try to stop him this time. He was afraid of what he would have said or done if she had tried too.
Making it to his car in no time, Zac got inside slamming the door and immediately reaching for his phone. Finding the one name he knew he shouldn't text. Knew what it would lead too if he did text him but even with that knowledge he still clicked on Harry's name and sent a text.
Going out tonight to The Evermore. You coming out tonight?
I was beginning to wonder if I'd hear from you today Z. I was missing our daily texting cause you at least text me even when you don't want to go out and party. Something happen today?
Zac blushed as he read over Harry's text back. Hating that Harry was right. He did text Harry even on nights when he wasn't going out clubbing. Usually simple texts just with funny jokes or asking Harry how his day was and he was always the one who texted first.
Which maybe meant Harry wasn't the only one here with a celebrity crush. Zac too could have had an innocent celebrity crush on Harry. A crush that also had the perks of no strings sex.
Coming out of his thoughts Zac sent a quick text to Harry.
Just had a busy day. Had a shoot and then sorta ran into my ex and that ended badly. The reason I am going out tonight actually and I'd love it if you came too.
I'll think about it Zac. I am a busy busy man here but we shall see ;).
Zac couldn't help the smile on his face at the wink Harry sent in his last text. Zac feeling it was proof enough that Harry would come out tonight.
He'd come out and then Zac would get sex. Forget all about his horrible run in with Hayes and how horrible Hayes had made him feel again. Something she must have been good at since they weren't even together anymore and yet she still had done it.
Made Zac feel like he was worth nothing because she had cheated on him. Maybe Simon had everything and he was just nothing and no one and god Zac really wanted to hit or break something.
But instead of doing that Zac turned his car on and drove away, turning his music up loud as he headed to the gym. Wanting to get off some steam before going out tonight.
"So you're really meeting up with Harry here tonight?" Taylor asked as he leaned closer to Zac so he could be heard over the music.
Zac nodded his head as he looked at his brother, taking a sip off the fruity drink he had ordered tonight. Wanting a break from his usual rum and coke.
"Then why invite me and George along?"
Georgina laughed as she heard Taylor's question, "Are you daft?" she asked before pausing like she was considering if Taylor really was stupid. "He doesn't want to seem like he is just here for Harry in case anyone sees. Even though everyone and their grandma can see he is just here for Harry."
Taylor turned to look at Georgina as if a light bulb had went off in his head and maybe Taylor really was daft. Though that wasn't new knowledge to Zac. Zac had always known Taylor was daft. It came with being the closest to him out of all his siblings.
"Oh," Taylor finally muttered as he shook his head. "I don't know why he cares if people knows he is hooking up with Harry. I mean if I were gay I'd be flaunting my sexual relationship with a man like Harry."
"Wait," Zac spoke as he leaned closer to Taylor. "You aren't gay?"
Now Taylor looked at Zac as if Zac was the daft one. "No I am not gay. Why would you think that?"
"I mean you do gay porn," Zac spoke as if that explained everything. "You have to be gay if you do gay porn."
Laughing Taylor only shook his head, "I like sex with anyone but I'm not gay. Outside of porn I kind of prefer sex with women," he admitted and yeah Zac was kind of shocked by that. "Now if you'll excuse me Zac I think I want to take George out to the dance floor and dance," he said before turning to Georgina who had a huge smile on her face.
Zac wondering if inside she was dying since of course she still had a huge crush on his brother.
Staying silent Zac just watched as Georgina accepted Taylor's offer to dance and they walked out onto the dance floor. No Harry still in sight and maybe he had been wrong in thinking that the wink in Harry's text meant he was going to show up tonight.
But right as he had that thought Zac felt his phone vibrate from the pocket of his jeans and he reached inside. Pulling it out and seeing that he had a text from Harry.
Meet me in the bathroom ;)
I didn't think you were here yet. But why the bathroom?
I have my ways of sneaking in Zachary. Ever have sex in a bathroom?
No, but what makes you think I even want sex?
Please. I know why you wanted me here and I get myself ready for tonight too. I'm good and hard and waiting for you in the bathroom but you know if you don't want it I can always find another hot guy.
Feeling his nose flare some as he read the last text Zac pocketed his phone again before standing up and heading to the bathroom. Not wanting Harry hooking up with anyone but him tonight.
That and maybe the fact that Harry had gotten himself hard before even showing up was enough to make Zac turned on. Maybe even boasted his ego after Hayes had killed it earlier today.
Making it to the bathroom Zac only had to look around briefly his eyes spotting Harry after only a few seconds. Harry casually leaned against a door to one of the stalls and as their eyes locked Zac blushed when Harry beckoned him over with a finger.
But despite the blush and despite his nerves Zac walked over. Feeling even more turned on when Harry slipped inside the stall so effortlessly and he followed right behind. His brain seeming to kick in the moment the door was closed behind them.
"We shouldn't be doing this here," Zac whispered as Harry locked the door. "Anyone could hear us or god forbid look through one of the cracks and see us."
Harry smirked as he leaned a bit closer to Zac, "That's the fun in it," he spoke as they locked eyes. "Maybe getting caught or being heard," he whispered before leaning in to leave a brief kiss on Zac's lips. "But if you want you can leave. Since you're apparently too good for risky public sex."
"I never said I was too good," Zac defended as he made no effort to move.
Instead he reached out with both hands. Pulling Harry a bit closer to him as his hands went to rest on either side of the other man's waist.
"I just...maybe we should just kiss in here is all," he muttered before leaning in this time and kissing Harry.
Zac knowing that in the end they'd do more than just kiss.
Harry returned the kiss for a bit before pulling away and looking at Zac with something akin to amusement in his green eyes as he let his hips rest against Zac's. Enough that Zac could feel his hard on.
A matching one in his own jeans which is why Zac knew deep down they'd be doing more than just kissing.
"Just kissing my ass Zachary," Harry whispered as he let his hands go to Zac's jeans. His fingers moving to undo the button. "I'm going to fuck you're nice little ass like it deserves and you're going to let me," he said before unzipping the jeans as well. "Now stop playing all innocent and just agree with me."
Swallowing hard Zac nodded his head as he blushed again when Harry pushed his jeans down after they were undone.
"You're going to fuck my ass," Zac stated as he blushed more. "And I'm going to let you," he barely muttered out before Harry was on him again. Kissing him harder as his hand found it's way into Zac's boxers and instead of denying the inevitable Zac only moaned out. His hips rutting up as Harry's hand wrapped around his hard cock.
His body wanting the friction which Harry would soon be giving him. Something Zac knew better than to deny himself.
Chapter 4: April 2013: Harry Styles Jealous When Zac Hanson Arrives At Club With Another Man(See Pictures Below)
Excerpt: Come tomorrow he could be a dead man. Dead at the hands of Georgina Harper Jones the girl who had been his best friend since he was a teenager.
Little black dress
Who you doin' it for?
Little black dress
I can't take anymore
It's not right
It's not right
It's not right, you know-"Little Black Dress" By One Direction
Zac smirked to himself as he stood in front of the mirror in his room, fixing his hair for what felt like the hundredth time and doing his best to ignore Georgina's judging gaze.
"You know," he sighed as he turned to look at Georgina. "I can feel you staring and judging so just say what's on your mind."
"I don't think you'll like what's on my mind," Georgina told him honestly as she shook her head. Her words nothing but a way to leave him hanging because whether he wanted to know or not Georgina would tell him. She always did regardless of whether he liked it or not.
Rolling his eyes Zac moved to the bed where Georgina was sitting. "Just tell me George," he said as he sat down beside her. "You're my best friend and whether I want to know or not you always tell me. We never hold out on each other George. I mean just last month you were getting on my ass for moping over Hayes."
"True," Georgina spoke as she nodded her head before letting her hand rest on Zac's thigh as if to comfort him for whatever she was about to say. "I don't think you should be going to the opening of that new club with James," she shrugged mentioning the guy from Zac's yoga class.
A guy who Zac knew had a crush on him. A crush he had used to his advantage when asking James to come to the club's opening with him. Hayes would be there and he wanted to prove a point to her. Just to be an asshole. Prove to her that what the press was saying about him and Harry was false.
Which okay maybe Georgina had a point and he shouldn't be taking James. Especially not to prove a point. A point which was entirely a bit true.
After all he and Harry were regularly hooking up now and not just on nights they went out clubbing. After the bathroom hookup they had started just hanging out randomly.
Going to the movies or having lunch together. All outings that lead them to either Zac and Georgina's place or Harry's. Where they had sex and then the cycle would repeat every so many days and it had been almost a month now since the bathroom hookup.
"Because I shouldn't be taking him to prove a point to Hayes?" Zac questioned with a raised eyebrow. "If so then I agree. It was wrong of me to take advantage of James in that way."
"No," Georgina answered way too fast as she looked at Zac like he had lost his mind. "I was going to say because of Harry," she sighed as she moved her hand off Zac's thigh. "Why in the hell is this to prove a point to Hayes?" she asked him sounding like she was disappointed in his decisions and she probably was.
Zac wasn't the best decision maker.
"To prove that there is nothing between Harry and I," Zac confessed as he looked down sheepishly not liking the look Georgina was giving him
Made him feel awful and like she was doing worse than just judging. Made him think Georgina was planning his murder or something.
Not something that would shock him after all these years of being his friend. She'd probably plotted his murder a million times over.
Georgina sighed loudly after a few minutes of silence. "There is though and the fact that you are denying it and trying to prove Hayes wrong is just petty of you," she told him and Zac could hear the disappointment in her voice. Disappointment that he hadn't heard from her in so long.
"I never said I wasn't a petty person," Zac reminded her as he looked up at her again. "But why were you going to say Harry?" he asked her finally with a raised eyebrow just wanting to change the subject sorta. After all even his thing with Hayes and wanting to prove a point did include Harry. "I mean Harry isn't going to be there and it's not like I'm dating him so I'm not breaking any rules or anything by taking James. I'm just using James to prove a point to Hayes."
"But Harry is going," Georgina told him as she narrowed her eyes, her face taking on a serious look now. "He got a last minute schedule change from his team and instead of the interviews they had him set up for he is going to this and doing interviews tomorrow."
Zac went silent at that information all color feeling like it had drained from his face. A part of him not sure why he was reacting this way. As he had told Georgina it wasn't like he was dating Harry. They had no labels for what they were. At this point they were just casual acquaintances who had sex so Zac had every right to show up to the party with James.
Except now he felt even worse about doing that. Not wanting to see Harry's face when Harry saw him at the club with some other man.
"I'm sure Harry is going to have a date of his own," Zac finally broke his silence as he locked eyes with Georgina. "And even if he doesn't it's not like I'm dating him as I said just minutes ago. I can go with James and we'll all be fine."
Georgina shook her head no after Zac had spoken. "He's actually going alone," she told him and again there was that feeling awful thing. "And you keep telling yourself you two aren't dating but for the past month you've been awful close to it," she muttered out before standing from the bed and walking towards the door of his room.
Though when she made it to the entryway she stopped, turning to face Zac again. "I swear if you create drama with him tonight and I have to hear about it tomorrow when I am getting him ready for his interviews I will murder you," Georgina threatened.
Her tone making a shiver run down Zac's spine. Zac almost positive she was telling the truth especially after the look she'd given him earlier.
Come tomorrow he could be a dead man. Dead at the hands of Georgina Harper Jones the girl who had been his best friend since he was a teenager.
At least it gave him some consolation to know it wouldn't be a stranger who killed him.
"I won't create drama," Zac told Georgina as he too stood from the bed, walking to where Georgina was. "I promise you George," he said as he reached out to pull Georgina into a hug, kissing her forehead lightly. "Harry will be fine seeing me with James and he'll probably have a hot date of his own even if you are convinced he is going alone. I mean he didn't even tell me he was going and he knew for days I was going. That has to mean something," he told her trying to reassure her when in the end he was trying to tell himself that.
Do his best to lessen the weird guilt he had now. Guilt he had no reason to have since he wasn't exclusive with Harry. They were only two men who fucked and went out on maybe dates. But fuck buddies could do that right? They could go out on weird maybe dates and only sleep with each other....every fuck buddy arrangement was different after all.
Yet even telling himself that Zac knew in his gut they were always more than fuck buddies. Had been ever since their first one night stand.
They were just stubborn in saying what they were really.
Dancing on the dance floor with James, Zac smirked as James moved farther into him. Their hips nearly grinding together as they moved in time with the song. His mind though may have been not on his dance partner even if he was doing a good job at staying in the beat and keeping up with his moves.
Instead his mind was on Harry who was standing at the bar. Nursing what was probably his fourth beer and the whole time his eyes hadn't left Zac and James.
Zac knew because he kept feeling Harry's stare and looking over to see Harry staring right at him. An ever present glare on his face which should have scared Zac but kind of spurned him on. Liking the fact that Harry was jealous over James.
That he had made the hottest man he had, had the pleasure to fuck in years jealous. A man who a lot of people wanted and would love to make jealous.
Little old Zac had done it. Because of course he still saw himself as a mediocre catch after all his time spent with Hayes listening to her down him.
Hayes a woman who had also been watching him intently tonight too. He had also felt her eyes on him from where she was dancing with Simon. Loving how surprised she seemed that he wasn't with Harry. That he had brought someone else.
Surprise that probably had grown when she had saw Harry show up alone. Because of course Zac had noticed Hayes noticing Harry's arrival. Only because Zac himself had been waiting for Harry to show up too.
Wanting to see how he reacted to Zac being with James. The glare appearing on his face the moment he had spotted Zac. James having chosen that exact moment to be kissing on Zac's neck and after that Zac had pushed him away. Telling him now wasn't the time.
All because he hated the glare Harry had given him because the first glare had a hint of hurt behind it and the last thing Zac had wanted was to hurt Harry.
"Zac," James' voice spoke bringing Zac out of his thoughts as a blush took over his cheeks. A part of him wondering how long James had been trying to get his attention.
"Huh?" Zac asked as he leaned in a bit closer so he could hear James over the music.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom and get another drink after. Do you want one?"
Shaking his head Zac gave James a tiny smile, "I'm fine," he told him before moving away. Watching as James turned to head through the crowd and maybe he should have left the dance floor as well. Went to the bar but he didn't.
He stayed on the dance floor and continued to dance to the music. Not caring that he was dancing by himself.
Though he had barely let that thought register before he felt arms wrapping around his waist from behind. Pulling him closer to someone but from the faint cologne smell that hit his nostrils he knew who it was. Had grown accustomed to that scent in a short period of time.
"Don't like seeing you dancing with anyone who isn't me," Harry spoke harshly as he let his head move to rest on Zac's shoulder some. Their cheeks brushing against each other.
Zac shivering at the contact. A shiver that didn't go right away because Harry let his hand drop down to Zac's crotch. Feeling the semi that Zac had going.
"Nor do I like that someone else has gotten you this hard," he sighed out sounding angry. Angry and a bit jealous.
Something that not once killed Zac's erection. Maybe made it a bit harder actually. Still loving that he got Harry all jealous and flustered.
"It wasn't someone else though," Zac told Harry as he turned his head slightly. Kissing Harry's cheek softly and feeling Harry's tension ease some at that. "Got hard at how jealous you've been all night. Watching me intently with that glare."
Harry blinked several times at that, "Didn't like seeing you dancing with that guy," he muttered still being harsh. "Wanted those sexy moves you were doing to be just for me."
"They were though," Zac smiled as he let his hand go down to Harry's which was still resting on his crotch. "Just like this is all for you too," he added on as he squeezed Harry's hand causing Harry to have a more firm grip on his erection. "Love it that you were jealous over little old me."
Harry breathed lowly as he licked his lips, his hips moving a bit closer to Zac. Zac sure he was doing it on purpose because he could feel a matching erection in Harry's pants.
"Not so little you," Harry muttered out which made Zac's smile grow. Knowing Harry was referring to his cock. "Are you fucking that guy?" he asked finally being so blunt. "Do you let him fuck that tight little ass of yours like you let me fuck it."
"No," Zac answered letting out a moan as Harry's hand got a bit tighter grip wise on his cock. "He has a crush on me but I'm not...we've never. He's just in my yoga class."
"You could be lying to me," Harry offered up clearly sounding hesitant to believe Zac. "For all I know he could show up after I leave or you leave me and you two fuck so carelessly. You letting him into the place I had just been. Just like you were dancing for him."
Turning in Harry's arms Zac shook his head, "I'm not lying to you," he told him reassuring him as he leaned in to leave a light kiss on Harry's lips before letting his arms slide around Harry's neck. "And I was dancing for you."
"Prove to me that you were dancing to me and you weren't lying," Harry whispered before leaning in again and kissing Zac a bit longer than some little light peck. "Come home with me and have sex with me all night," he smirked as they locked eyes.
Blushing Zac nodded his head, "Okay," he agreed knowing there was no way he could truly turn Harry down anyway. "Just...let me find James and let him down easy," he spoke as he pulled away from Harry.
His eyes finding James at the bar. James looking at him and giving him an almost knowing look. Like he had known or suspected Zac had came with baggage. That and that he was going to be let down so at least it made his job easy in that aspect.
Because it seemed Zac just hated being a dick to anyone. Except Hayes who had probably seen that like magnets Zac and Harry had found each other again. Confirmed to her that she was right and the press was right. Zac and Harry had a thing going on.
A thing that had no labels still.
Chapter 5: May 2013: Harry Styles and Zac Hanson frolick on the beach during a Jamaican vacation before Harry leaves for tour.
Excerpt: "I mean who would turn down all day sex with you?"
Watching you get dressed messes with my head
Take that bag off your shoulder
Come get back in bed we still got time left
This don't have to be over
And you say it's hard to keep a secret
Girl don't leave me all alone in this hotel
And these shades can hide us from the streets yeah
One weekend I'll promise that I'll never tell-"Change Your Ticket" by One Direction
"I should get up," Zac muttered as he laid beside Harry in the hotel bed. A bed they had been sleeping in for a week now. Ever since they had arrived in Jamaica for a last minute trip before Harry went off on tour and Zac stayed in California.
It would probably be the longest they went without seeing each other since this arrangement or whatever it was had started between them. After all Harry would be gone until January of next year and Zac doubted he'd have much time to visit Harry or even Georgina out on the road.
So of course he had readily agreed when Harry mentioned this vacation. Wanting to spend as much time with him as possible. Time that was ending today because Zac had a plane to catch in a few hours to head back to California while Harry was going to stay here in Jamaica for one more day before flying off to New York where the tour started from.
A place where Georgina probably already was and Zac knew once he got home it just wouldn't be the same without George there.
"Or you could just stay here in bed with me," Harry told him as he pulled Zac closer to him. "Damn your flight to hell really and just stay with me on this last day," he sighed sounding like he really did want Zac to stay.
Zac wishing he could agree but he had work commitments tomorrow afternoon and he really did have to leave. Though he wished he could stay one more day. Just had one more day to be with Harry and kiss him. As well as making love to him because he knew he'd miss that.
Miss the weird connected feeling he got every time he made love to Harry.
"I can't stay though," Zac sighed as he leaned in to leave a light kiss onto Harry's cheek. Feeling Harry smile wide enough that a dimple popped out. "I have work stuff tomorrow so I have to leave today."
Harry's smile dropped at his last sentence, Zac watching as Harry pulled away from his embrace to look at him. Looking far too wide awake for someone who had just had sex last night for most of the night.
"Then at least say we have time for sex before you have to get ready to leave?" Harry asked sounding almost desperate. "I need you Zac and it's going to be awhile before I get to have you after this and don't deny me sex."
Laughing Zac rolled his eyes as he moved towards Harry, "We have time for sex," he spoke watching as Harry's smile came back. "Just can't be the all day kind that you have seemed to love so much on this vacation."
Harry to let out a laugh, "I mean who would turn down all day sex with you?" he questioned before finally leaving a kiss on Zac's lips.
Zac not even pulling away to answer Harry because it would just limit their sex time and anyway he was going to be egotistical and say no one would. Every one he had been with so far had no complaints about his body even if the number of people he had been with really wasn't big in the long run.
He was nowhere near Taylor in terms of sex partners but maybe that was an unfair comparison since Taylor was a porn star.
"It's a good thing we're already naked," Harry said in between kisses as he somehow turned over onto his back, bringing Harry with him. A moan coming from the both of them as their cocks brushed against each other. Zac feeling his cock beginning to get hard.
"Yeah because it gives us more time for sex," Zac added on as he let his lips move down to Harry's neck. Kissing it softly before leaving a small bite. "You fucking horny bastard," he muttered out onto Harry's neck as he moved his hips letting his cock slide against Harry's again.
A filthy sounding moan coming out of the other man's mouth as Zac's cock got even harder.
Harry only nodded his head once his moan had subsided, moving his head some so that he could kiss Zac on the lips again.
An action that Zac let him have and as they kissed it was Zac who moaned out as Harry's hand somehow had slipped between them. His hand wrapping around Zac's cock as he began to stroke him, Zac soon becoming a mess as he fucked himself into Harry's hand.
Knowing the man below him was loving this. Literally had Zac in the palm of his hand.
Letting out a whine eventually, Zac bit down on Harry's lip before breaking the kiss. "Need you H. Need you right now," he muttered out sounding pathetically needy.
Which he was pathetically needy right now. Needed Harry in every way possible. Wanted to feel the tightness of Harry around him as they fucked.
"Then take me Zac," Harry whispered softly as he removed his hand from Zac's cock. "I'm all yours baby."
At Harry's words Zac leaned down to kiss him again. This time as they kissed he maneuvered himself so that he was at Harry's opening. Deepening the kiss before finally sliding inside, giving them both what they wanted.
His eyes falling shut at how good Harry felt and he almost just wanted to stay like this forever. His cock in Harry's ass but he couldn't.
The thought alone being enough to get him to start thrusting inside of Harry. His eyes closing tighter because fuck this may have felt even better than just being inside Harry. It was also an added bonus that he got to hear Harry moan beneath him.
Knowing that he was making Harry feel as good as he felt right now.
"Open your eyes," Harry spoke and Zac obeyed his request as he looked down at Harry who only smiled up at him as he now matched Zac's thrusts. "Want to see you looking at me as we fuck," he told him and it felt as if Harry's smile was contagious.
A matching one soon appearing on Zac's face because how could he not smile?
"You're pretty when you smile too," Harry kept on talking as his hands soon went to rest on Zac's hips. A shiver running down his spine at the contact. "Maybe you should do it more often."
Laughing Zac leaned down to peck Harry's lips as he slowed his movements. "I'll consider it," he said knowing if Harry asked him he'd do anything.
Something which scared him as this was a new realization and the last time that had happened it had been with Hayes and that of course had ended badly.
She had cheated on him but Harry didn't seem like that type. Was much more romantic and sentimental even though they weren't even dating yet. They just were fucking each other and only each other.
They even went on dates and were pretty much a couple. Just both were too stubborn to say it or maybe deep down Zac was too scared as well was too scared to ask him what they were.
Didn't want to be burned even if Harry seemed different than Hayes had been.
"Do more than consider it," Harry sighed bringing Zac out of his thoughts and when Zac looked down at him he knew just from the look on his face that Harry was close to coming. So he picked up his pace once more, content on bringing Harry to his end.
"Yeah, yeah," Zac muttered as he let his head fall back as he continued his fast pace. His own impending end in sight too.
Wondering if he could make them both come at the same time.
Kissing him again Zac just kept thrusting his hand going down to Harry's cock and stroking him in time with his thrusts. An action that had Harry coming in no time and the feel of Harry tightening around him was enough to bring him over the edge too.
Zac feeling only slightly let down that he hadn't made them both come at the same time.
"Promise me when you get home you'll call me," Harry said after Zac had packed his suitcase and was on his way to the door. "I just want to know you made it back safe," he said as he came to a stop in front of Zac when Zac stopped at the doorway.
Giving Harry a smile Zac pecked his lips, "I'll call," he reassured him knowing if he didn't Harry would probably have a cow.
That was the last thing Zac wanted.
"Good," Harry smiled as he moved in to steal another kiss from Zac but when he pulled away his smile was gone and Zac knew why.
Because Harry knew he for sure that he had to leave and Harry still didn't want that.
Giving Harry a sad smile Zac had to bite back his urge to tell Harry he loved him before he slipped out of the door and once he was outside he hated himself for not saying I love you.
But once again he had been scared because that's all he was. A scared hopelessly pathetic guy even when he tried to act all cocky.
Chapter 6: October 2013: Zac Hanson and Harry Styles' are they finally official? It would seem so after Zac makes a surprise four day visit to Harry's tour for his birthday.(details inside)
Excerpt: "What would you have said?"
What a feeling to be right here beside you now
Holding you in my arms
When the air ran out and we both started running wild
The sky fell down
But you got stars, they're in your eyes
And I've got something missing tonight
What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow-"What A Feeling" by One Direction
"I still can't believe you're here," Harry spoke as he looked over at Zac as they both got ready for a concert they were attending for Zac's birthday.
A day Harry may have somehow made sure he had off. Just like Zac knew Harry's constant calls asking him to visit him were so they could spend time together. Neither having seen the other face to face since their trip to Jamaica which for them was a pretty damn long time.
Zac having found that during their time apart he was missing Harry more than he had realized. He was also missing Georgina too and so of course he had found time in his busy schedule to fly to Chicago where Harry was for the next four days.
Getting to spend his birthday with the man who was easily becoming much more than someone who Zac was just fucking to get off.
"Why? Because you were afraid I'd say no?" Zac asked as he walked to where Harry was once he was finished dressing.
"Sort of," Harry said right as Zac slid his arms around Harry's waist. Closing his eyes at how good it felt to have him in his arms again.
A thought which scared him because he hadn't felt that way since Hayes and Hayes had burned him by cheating on him.
"You should know I wouldn't have said no," Zac said reassuring Harry as he opened his eyes, locking his brown eyes with Harry's green in the mirror that Harry was standing in front of. "I think I kind of sort of maybe love being in your presence. I couldn't think of somewhere else I'd want to be for my birthday," he spoke watching as Harry smiled.
Harry slowly turned in Zac's arms, "And because you missed Georgie," he added on sounding like he was teasing Zac.
"That too but let's not tell her," Zac laughed as he leaned in to peck Harry's lips. "She may grow a big ego and I think it's already a bit bad now that she knows Taylor came with me because he wanted to see her," he sighed knowing the Taylor bit had shocked him.
Zac had just assumed Georgina's crush was one-sided and that Taylor was oblivious but maybe he wasn't and maybe the crush wasn't one-sided. Zac's brother could have had a crush too.
It would make sense because Taylor and Georgina did spend time together. A lot of time but well Taylor's life was just a mystery. Sort of like how Zac hadn't realized Taylor wasn't gay despite him doing gay porn.
Sometimes he wondered if his other siblings were just as mysterious but then he realized he never spent much time with them. Knew he should too especially Jessica and Avery who lived in California as well.
Which as he was thinking of his family he knew what he wanted to ask Harry while he was thinking of it.
"You know before we leave to get Georgina and Taylor and head to the concert there was something I wanted to ask you," Zac started watching as Harry paled some which was almost comedic.
"Are you proposing?" Harry questioned sounding panic stricken which made Zac laugh loudly as he shook his head no. Harry's color returning some. "Good because this isn't how I saw you doing it anyway," he said and now it was Zac who felt like he lost some color.
Wasn't sure how to handle knowing that Harry thought about him popping the question.
"It's not a marriage proposal," Zac teased as he moved away from Harry some. "I was going to ask if during your small break for Thanksgiving if you want to come to Tulsa and spend it with my family and I?" he asked hating the way it felt like he was holding his breath waiting on Harry's answer.
Knew he'd be the same way if he was proposing too but he wasn't. Didn't even want to think of marriage yet it seemed his brain wondered what Harry would say if he did ask him to marry him.
Harry chewed his lip at that, looking as if he was thinking it over and maybe he was. Maybe he was considering the offer or maybe he just wanted to seem like he was to appease Zac. That way Zac wouldn't get his feelings hurt when Harry said no.
"Sure, why the hell not," Harry smiled as he nodded his head. "My family doesn't really do much at Thanksgiving anyway. We go all out for Christmas though so my mom would kill me if I missed that," he spoke and Zac knew the feeling.
His own mom would murder him if he missed Christmas too which again his mind went to marriage and Harry. Wondering how they would split that holiday if they ever did get married.
Which was a big fucking if. They still weren't really even dating yet.
After Harry agreed Zac just smiled as he leaned in to kiss him. His eyes falling shut because this kiss was a bit longer than the peck they had shared before.
This kiss was almost a promise of what was to come after the concert tonight and of course obligatory drinks at a local club because Georgina had reminded him on the drive to the hotel that they always went out drinking for his birthday. They weren't going to break that just because he had someone to fuck on his birthday.
Zac hadn't had the heart to remind her that they had missed it when he was with Hayes because Hayes was jealous of Georgina which was hilarious. Zac had never once thought of fucking Georgina in his lifetime just like he had never considered cheating on Hayes during their time together.
She had been the one to cheat even when she was worried about him.
Maybe that should have been a sign to him.
When he and Harry parted from the kiss Zac could only smile when Harry turned away from him to fix his look one last time before they went to get Taylor and Georgina.
Both knew they needed to before it got too late and they missed the concert altogether. Which Zac didn't want to do as they were going to see one of his favorite bands.
Not even sure how Harry knew because he wasn't sure the conversation had ever came up and he rarely mentioned it in interviews.
Almost suspected that he had asked Georgina which well that could say a lot about where they were in their non-existent dating relationship if he was asking Georgina for ideas of what to do on his birthday.
Giggling as he walked with Harry back into their hotel room Zac sighed as he stumbled his way towards the bed. Instantly thankful when Harry turned the light on so that he could see better. Needed to see where he was going before he wound up on his ass.
"You're so fucking drunk," Harry spoke as he walked behind Zac. Doing a lot better in his walking but then again Harry hadn't drank as much as he had.
Zac not even sure why he had drank so much. His only excuse being he wanted to forget marriage and the thought of being married to Harry.
When they both made it to bed Zac just looked up at the ceiling knowing he should be kissing Harry and he would be soon enough. Just right now he wanted a few minutes to sober up some before sex. If he could even get it up which hopefully he wasn't that intoxicated.
Even if he was past his normal limit.
"What would you have said?" Zac questioned as he turned to look at Harry who only looked at him confused. "I mean if I had popped the question," he said seeing the confusion clear slightly.
The realization of what Zac meant hitting Harry.
Harry chewed his lip as he took a deep breath, "I...I probably would have said yes," he said his answer making Zac's heart do funny things like feeling like it was turning upside down or something. "Not that I think we're ready for marriage but I would have said yes because I like the idea of being your husband one day."
"Do you always think of being my husband one day?" Zac asked before he could stop himself and even if he was gone because of the alcohol even he could see Harry's blush.
Knew that Harry had thought about it more than Zac had which had been not at all until today.
Nodding his head sheepishly Harry looked at Zac intently. "Yeah," he confessed. His words making Zac smile despite everything. "I'm also kind of hard at the thought that you were even considering marrying me Zachary," he whispered as he inched closer to Zac.
Close enough that even through both their jeans that Zac could feel Harry's erection. Knew it was just over something simple and yet to Zac that was the hottest thing ever.
"Can I blow you now?" Zac ask as he let his hand go down to rest on the bulge in Harry's jeans. "Really want to get my mouth around you."
Harry let out a loud laugh as he nodded his head, "You can do whatever you want to me," he muttered out as he leaned in finally kissing Zac again.
Zac feeling his eyes flutter shut as he kissed Harry back. Eagerly awaiting how it would feel to finally be with Harry sexually again.
Hadn't realized he had missed it so much until now.
Yet somehow even with his horniness he knew something had changed between him and Harry tonight. Even if they didn't admit it right away.
Maybe they never would since they liked to dance around the topic of what this was and what they were.
Chapter 7: November 2013: Zac and Harry finally confirm they are official(See pictures the love birds shared on twitter)
Excerpt: "You really want me to go to your parents with my tits out?"
When I first saw you
From across the room
I could tell that you were curious,
Girl, I hope you’re sure
What you're looking for
'Cause I'm not good at making promises- "Perfect" by One Direction
"You nervous?" Zac questioned as he sat on the hotel bed in the room he was sharing with Harry in a fancy hotel in downtown Tulsa.
His mom had offered that they could stay at the house but Zac wasn't sure he wanted to share his childhood room with Harry or better yet have Harry feel that he had to sleep in the guest room if he didn't want to have sex in Zac's parents house.
Hayes had been a stickler for having sex at his parents house so she had stayed in the guest room.
Now as Zac thought about it he wondered if it wasn't that and the fact that when they had came to Tulsa it had been after she met Simon.
She could have been cheating on him then and just didn't want sex with him period.
Harry laughed before turning to face Zac as he messed with the buttons on his shirt. "Just a bit," he spoke and Zac could hear the nerves in his voice.
Saw it on his face too. Harry was scared at the prospect of meeting his family. Well all of them except Taylor because he knew him.
Had sort of grown close to him as well but everyone seemed to adore Taylor. Even with all of Taylor's fucked up flaws and diva ways.
"I think you're more than just a bit nervous," Zac said as he moved from the bed. Going to where Harry was as a frown settled on his face before moving to undo three of the top buttons on Harry's shirt. "I mean you're going to my parents with all the buttons on your shirt done and that just isn't you."
"You really want me to go to your parents with my tits out?" Harry asked him and after he spoke Zac watched as his cheeks got a pretty color of pink. "Your mom would be scandalized."
Zac laughed softly, "She has a son who does porn. I think she is over being scandalized," he whispered before leaning in to leave a kiss on Harry's neck. "And I love you being all tits out. Kind of turns me on and gets me all hard. In fact I could just move down right now and start sucking on your nipples," he spoke in between kisses on Harry's neck.
A smirk appearing on his lips when he felt Harry shiver at his words.
"You're not getting into my pants until after we go to your parents Zachary Walker Hanson," Harry reprimanded him as he moved away.
But even as he spoke Zac let his eyes wander down to Harry's pants. His smirk growing as he saw Harry's semi.
"You're only prolonging the semi you have going on."
"It's the price I'll pay," Harry retorted which only made Zac roll his eyes but he knew arguing was a mote point.
There was no way Harry was going to change his mind so he'd have to wait until they got back to fuck Harry senseless. To have Harry whining and begging for more.
Even if he was impatient he'd just have to suffer through Thanksgiving with his family.
Biting his lip Zac had to catch his breath as he stood in the entryway of the kitchen. A funny feeling forming in his stomach as he watched how easy Harry was talking with his mom about her pumpkin pie recipe. Something he had liked and said he wanted to learn to make for himself.
Their interaction was so natural and it almost seemed like he fit. He got on so well with everyone who had been here.
"You know I think I like him," a voice spoke beside him and Zac turned to see Avery standing beside him. "He's much better than Hayes' was. Though I have to wonder why it took so long to introduce him to us when you've been dating him since March."
Zac opened his mouth to protest. Tell Avery that he wasn't dating Harry but the moment his mouth was open no words came out.
How could he deny something that felt true to him?
He and Harry had more or less been dating since March and they both were too stubborn to say anything to the other about it. Though it had taken Avery asking for Zac to realize the truth.
That and maybe how well Harry got on with everyone here, especially his mom who rarely took to anyone he liked well.
She hadn't liked Hayes but he was finding out not very many people in his life had liked her.
"I guess I was nervous," Zac shrugged as his cheeks got hot.
He knew his words were a lie. After all he hadn't really thought until this moment that he was even dating Harry but now that he knew, well yeah maybe he had been nervous.
Nervous to say out loud that they were dating. Nervous that if he said it, it would end and he'd eventually be left hurting.
He didn't want to be hurt again and he didn't want to lose Harry. Precious Harry who made him feel so at home just by being with him and fuck that thought nearly made him dizzy.
Zac not sure when his home became Harry and not the physical place he lived at with Georgina.
Avery only scoffed beside him, like she didn't believe his words.
"Well, you should bring him around more once we're all back in California. I'd love to spend time with Harry and you as well," she spoke and Zac nodded his head because he could do that.
Though he wasn't sure he would because again as sad as it was he just had never been close to his sisters. Not like he was with Taylor but maybe he could change that. Especially now that he was starting a new chapter in his life it seemed.
A chapter that included dating Harry. He'd just have to tell Harry about this revelation when they got back to the hotel tonight.
Preferably after they fucked.
Laying in bed next to Harry as he caught his breath, Zac chewed on his lip as he looked at the ceiling. "We're dating Harry," he spoke before he could even stop himself.
This wasn't how he wanted to have this conversation but he guessed post sex haze him didn't think clearly. Then again neither did him even without the post sex haze.
He just always seemed to constantly make bad decisions. Except for Harry. Harry was a good decision.
"I know," Harry replied which made Zac turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "I've known it from the night I took you home and you kept coming back into my life you fucking menace," he teased.
Blushing at Harry's words Zac didn't look away, though, a part of him wanted too.
"If you knew how come you didn't say anything?"
"Because I was waiting on you to realize it," Harry told him as if that made all the sense in the world. "You just...Hayes hurt you and I didn't want to rush you into something that was always there. I just wanted you to realize it on your own."
Smiling at Harry's words Zac leaned over to kiss him again. His eyes falling shut as Harry responded back to the kiss.
A part of him getting the gut feeling they were going to have sex again. In celebration of Zac realizing what Harry and everyone else had already known.
That he had been dating Harry for half the damn year already.
"You know," Zac muttered in between kisses, "We should post pictures on social media letting everyone know I finally took my blinders off."
Harry laughed loudly as he pulled away from the kisses. "We will, after I fuck you again," he said and Zac's smile grew as Harry moved back on top of him.
His eyes once again falling shut as they kissed. A moan escaping his lips as their cocks brushed against each other.
Zac not in the least bit surprised to find that Harry was hard again, just like he was.
"Love you," Zac muttered as he let his hand fall between them. Let his hand wrap around both their cocks, stroking them both at the same time.
A filthy yet nice sounding moan leaving Harry's lips.
"Love you too Zac, now less talking and more of the cock rubbing," Harry growled out as he bucked into Zac's hand.
Zac not able to hold back his laugh as he obeyed his boyfriend's command.
Chapter 8: February 2014: Zac and Harry celebrate first Valentine's Day together. Harry gives interview on how they spent their day together.
Excerpt: Laughing Zac nodded his head, "Of course I am," he confessed feeling like a child confessing to a litany of crimes. "What if I screw up whatever plans Harry has for tonight?"
The story of my life
I take her home
I drive all night
To keep her warm
And time is frozen (the story of, the story of)
The story of my life
I give her hope
I spend her love
Until she's broke
Inside-"Story of My Life" by One Direction
"Aren't you looking snazzy," Georgie smirked as she stood in Zac's doorway, Zac feeling a blush on his cheek as he turned to face his best friend. "You didn't even need my help in getting ready for the big first Valentine's day date with Harry," she teased.
Her teasing doing nothing to kill the blush that Zac had. Instead it only made it grow.
"Shush you bitch," he replied playfully as he rolled his eyes. "I can get dressed on my own without you, you know?"
Georgie crossed her arms as she gave him a look. A look that said they both knew that statement was bullshit.
Mainly because it was bullshit. Zac was crap at dressing himself, especially for dates but tonight he had wanted to try on his own. That and Georgie had been busy herself getting ready for a date.
Taylor it seemed had asked her out for the night and maybe Zac who had never once saw Georgie and Taylor becoming romantic had been wrong. His brother may just return or was beginning to return the crush that Georgie had on him for ages now.
"Fine, I can't get dressed without you," Zac broke down under Georgie's stare. "I wanted to try tonight though. Since as you said it's the big first Valentine's day with my boyfriend," he smiled still not used to saying Harry was his boyfriend even now after two almost three months of calling him that.
It all still felt surreal yet it wasn't. It was all very real and all Zac had to do was look in gossip magazines or go to fan sites and see.
According to his sister Jessica, Zac and Harry had a lot of shippers. People who dubbed them Zarry and were excited they were both out and free and able to date instead of being closeted like most gay males in the entertainment industry.
Georgie smiled as well as she uncrossed her arms, walking into Zac's room and fixing the bow tie he had on. A blush forming on Zac's cheeks as she did that.
"You nervous?" she asked so casually yet it seemed she also knew the answer too.
Zac was half sure the answer to her question was radiating off him in waves. He was terrified for the night, first Valentine's days were always so iffy and he was sure the one he had with Hayes had started with him getting sick. That was how bad his nerves had been torn up.
He was almost thankful tonight wasn't that bad...yet.
Laughing Zac nodded his head, "Of course I am," he confessed feeling like a child confessing to a litany of crimes. "What if I screw up whatever plans Harry has for tonight?"
Georgie shook her head, "I highly doubt you'll ruin those plans," she said sounding like she had more faith than he did.
Of course she would though, she actually knew what Harry had planned. Harry confiding in Zac's closest ally all because Georgie worked for him and was around him more.
"You are only saying that because you know his plans George," Zac sighed as he moved away from her after she adjusted his bow tie.
"Maybe,maybe not. You just need more confidence Zachary."
Zac raised an eyebrow as he now crossed his arms, "So you're telling me you aren't nervous for your night out with Taylor?" he asked knowing he had to have her there. She had to be nervous after all the pining she had done for Taylor over the years.
Nervous because he was a damn porn star and she had seen him having sex with other people on video. Knew everything he had to offer in advance if tonight went right for her.
Zac almost hoping for her sake it did because he wasn't sure how long it had been since she was laid. She rarely told him as much about her sex life as he told her.
He was just a goddamn open book though, mainly because keeping secrets was hard for him and sometimes he just needed to vent or talk.
Whereas Georgie was the opposite and it was probably one of the things that kept their friendship going.
"Of course I'm nervous," Georgie finally conceded. "But I know if tonight goes south it isn't all on me. It takes two people to ruin or not ruin a date."
"If you say so," Zac said with a shake of his head. Guessing he could see how Georgie had a point, he was just stubborn and didn't want to admit it.
He was allowed to be stubborn.
Before he could stew anymore on his worries there was a knock on the apartment door and Zac looked at Georgie a bit apprehensively both of them knowing that it was Harry at the door.
Taylor had agreed that Georgie could come to his place and they'd leave from there. So, that really only left the possibility of Harry and Zac swore his nerves grew as he moved to leave the bedroom. Georgie hot on his heels offering him encouragement as she told him he had this.
That tonight would be okay and he really wanted to believe it.
Zac sat beside Harry in Harry's car, his eyes closed underneath a blindfold. A blindfold that Harry had put on him after they finished dinner at some swanky restaurant in downtown Los Angeles.
A place Zac wouldn't go to regularly but he could see the appeal on special days like Valentine's day. He could also just see the appeal in general if he was looking at it through Harry's eyes because Harry deep down loved swanky things.
He loved Gucci and Gucci wasn't cheap.
"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" Zac finally piped up after feeling like they had been driving for hours. When in actuality it had probably been minutes but the silence and the not being able to see made this car ride feel like forever.
"No," Harry laughed and Zac could almost picture him shaking his head. "It's a surprise."
"I can't even get a hint?" Zac asked with a bit of a whine to his voice.
Harry sighed and again Zac could picture a head shake. It was Harry's signature move when he was annoyed with Zac. Annoyed in the good way, not the bad way.
"It's got four walls and a roof," Harry answered and well that wasn't much of a hint.
Not one that Zac could work with anyway because well a lot of places had four walls and a roof.
"You're taking me to a church?" Zac asked teasingly. "I know I'm marriage material but isn't this a little fast and won't your mom kill you?" he continued hearing Harry laugh once more.
The kind of sweet sounding laugh that made Zac go all fond, his heart doing funny things in his chest. Something he swore that hadn't happened with anyone else he had dated before.
It was enough to let him know that Harry was different and special. The knowledge terrifying and exciting him all in one.
"Hold your horses there Zachary," Harry spoke and god it was better hearing him say Zachary than it was hearing Georgie say it. "It's not a wedding. Not yet anyway," he said with a tiny sigh.
A silence falling over them as Zac's heart once again did something funny in his chest. His mind actively going to what a marriage would look like with Harry. Something it hadn't done since his birthday and well he found he wasn't opposed to it.
Almost liked the idea and was kind of turned on thinking of Harry as his husband. Though he didn't say anything. He just stayed silent, feeling the car come to a stop. Listening intently as Harry got out and Zac used his hands then as he found the seat belt.
Unbuckling right as the door to his side of the car was open and he held out his hand. Feeling Harry take it and he let Harry guide him out of the car. Trusted him enough to follow him as they walked up a short path and then some stairs before they come to a stop long enough for Harry to open a door.
Zac once again letting Harry lead him inside of wherever they were at.
Those nerves from before the date tonight, coming back in full force.
"You can take your blindfold off now," Harry spoke softly from where he was standing behind Zac. Zac being able to feel Harry's body heat as well as his breath on his neck.
The sensation making his skin prickle.
Reaching up Zac took off the blindfold, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked around the room he was in. It was an empty living room, well almost empty living room, of a house he had never once set foot in before.
"Is that the paparazzi pictures of our first meeting?" Zac asked as he looked at the framed photos on the wall above the fireplace.
Harry nodded as he moved so that he was now standing beside Zac, "Figured they'd be good pictures to hang up in our house," he said his tone hesitant. Like he was wary to say what he had.
His words making Zac pause as he turned to look at Harry with a raised eyebrow.
"Our house?" he asked confused by what Harry had meant by that.
"I bought it last week," Harry admitted as his cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. "I...I know we just became truly official in November but we've known each other for almost a year. We've been fucking each other for almost a year and I...I just want to live with you Zac. I want to go to bed by your side and wake up by it."
Swallowing hard Zac felt his heartbeat getting faster because this was a big step. A step he hadn't taken with anyone else, though Hayes had wanted it.
Zac had said no to her and he almost wondered if that was when the break in their relationship came. His mind always reminding him Simon had been in the picture before that so it probably hadn't been.
But he was always good at laying the blame at his own feet for that relationship failure.
"You want us to move in together?" Zac questioned though it sounded more like a statement.
"If you want that too then yeah," Harry said sounding less sure of himself now. "If not then you know, I guess I'll have this place all to myself."
Shaking his head Zac smiled softly, "No, I want this too," he confessed watching as Harry turned to face him with the biggest grin on his face. "I'm just thinking how poor George will survive without me."
Harry laughed softly as he stepped closer to Zac, "I'm sure she will survive just fine," he said and before Zac could even reply Harry's lips were on his in a heated kiss.
Zac responding back eagerly letting Harry somehow maneuver them both down to the floor, Harry straddling his waist as the kiss got a tiny bit more heated. Especially when Harry's tongue slipped so effortlessly into his mouth.
Their hips rutting together and Zac could feel a matching erection in Harry's pants. Zac getting the distinct feeling that they were going to christen their new house tonight.
Right here in the room that would be their living room.
Pulling away from the kiss briefly Zac reached out as he undid Harry's shirt, his lips leaning in to leave kisses on every piece of exposed skin. Loving the way that Harry moaned as he did so.
Liked knowing that somehow it was still him that Harry wanted and got turned on by. That it was him who Harry wanted to live with and just be with.
Pushing the shirt off Harry once all the buttons were undone, Zac pulled away again his eyes falling shut as Harry leaned in then, undoing his bow tie before beginning his work on Zac's own button down shirt.
Both of them soon shirtless in a matter of minutes. Zac's lips moving back to Harry's as they kissed again.
This kiss not breaking until they were all the way naked. Harry pushing Zac down against the floor and Zac letting him because he'd let Harry do anything he wanted. He was just so damn turned on right now and he didn't care. He just really didn't fucking care.
Pouting when Harry pulled away from the kiss again, Zac just looked up at him curiously.
"Turn over and get on your knees," Harry spoke all sultry sounding as he moved off Zac. His own hand wrapping around his cock which he stroked as he looked down at Zac. "Show me that pretty ass of yours baby."
Rolling his eyes, Zac obeyed what Harry wanted. Biting his tongue from making a comment about how his ass wasn't pretty. It was nowhere near as perfect as Harry's own ass was. Not even in the same league as pretty.
Though before long his thoughts died, Harry's hands coming to rest on his ass checks which he opened slightly. Zac's eyes falling shut when Harry leaned in, licking at Zac's hole almost eagerly.
A loud moan coming out of Zac's mouth because this was unexpected. A reversal from how things usually were because normally it was him eating Harry's ass. Him licking at Harry and opening him up with his fingers but it seemed tonight Harry had other ideas.
Zac biting his lip to keep from moaning even louder when Harry slipped a finger inside of him. Using both his finger and his tongue on his hole. Literal stars almost exploding behind Zac's eyelids because everything felt good.
So god damn good.
"H," Zac whined out as he opened his eyes finally, moving his head some to look behind him. "Faster. Move your finger faster."
Harry didn't verbally answer him but he did comply to what Zac wanted. The finger he had inside of Zac moving faster, a second finger sliding inside as well. Zac finally moaning again when Harry curled his fingers inside of Zac. Hitting that spot that Zac knew if he kept it up he'd come just from this.
Something Zac suspected Harry didn't want. Having that confirmed when not long after that Harry was moving his mouth and fingers away from Zac's hole. Zac keeping his head turned as he watched Harry line himself up at his entrance.
Zac's mouth falling open when Harry slid inside of him. The feeling new yet not unwanted.
"Fuck," Zac hissed out softly, a shiver running down his spine as Harry rested his hands on either side of his hips.
"You okay?" Harry asked him as he leaned down to leave a light kiss on Zac's back. Another shiver running down his spine. "I don't...I'm not hurting you?"
Zac shook his head at that because Harry was definitely not hurting him. It was the opposite of hurting really.
"I'm fine," Zac told him reassuringly with a smile. "I'll be even better if you fuck me properly though," he teased wanting to feel Harry's cock fucking him. "Please baby."
Harry laughed as he let his finger nails dig into the skin at Zac's hips. "I can do that," he whispered before kissing Zac's back again. His hips soon starting to move now.
Zac once again letting his eyes fall shut as Harry began to fuck him. One of his hands moving down between his legs as he began to stroke himself in time with Harry's thrusts. Letting himself get lost in the moment.
Letting himself get lost in these really wonderful feelings as well as the sound of skin on skin as Harry continued to thrust inside him.
Both of them becoming panting messes. Zac not exactly sure who came first but knowing in the end they both had came far too quickly.
Zac collapsing on the floor, laying on his stomach. A whine tumbling out when Harry's cock slipped out of him. Harry moving to lay beside Zac on the floor.
His hand slowly reaching out to run through Zac's hair which caused Zac's whine to stop as he relaxed with Harry's touch. His heart once again doing funny things.
"I love you," Zac said before he could even stop himself. Watching as a grin settled on Harry's face.
"I love you too Zachary," Harry spoke as his grin grew, his hand continuing to run through Zac's hair. "But how horribly cliche of you to finally say I love you on Valentine's day."
Rolling his eyes Zac moved in to leave a light kiss on Harry's lips, "No more cliche than you putting up paparazzi pictures of us over our fireplace."
Harry laughed loud at that, "Touche," he sighed because even he knew it was cliche. He had too Zac thought. "But those are our first ever pictures together and I just...they need to be in our life history somehow. In our home as a reminder of the amazing night and blow job that I gave you."
"Only you would say that H," Zac muttered out as he let his forehead rest against Harry's. "Only you."
"But you love me," Harry whispered as his eyes lit up. Zac hating that tonight it seemed his heart just wasn't in his control.
"But I love you," Zac agreed before kissing Harry again. His eyes falling shut as Harry's hand moved to rest on his cheek.
Knowing that he indeed loved Harry. Loved him enough to move in with him, loved him enough that he could see a future with him and that scared the fuck out of him.
Because he knew in the end even with being able to see a future it didn't mean it would happen. They could both end up breaking each other's hearts or just one of them could end up breaking the other person's heart.
That was the bad thing about love. Giving the other your heart as well as the ability to break you like fine china or some shit.
Chapter 9: May 2014: Exclusive: Harry Styles to star in Romantic Comedy as he puts his music career on the back burner.
Excerpt: In the end Harry had always been able to read him. It was a curse and godsend at the same time.
If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive
You got that something, I got me an appetite, now I can taste it
You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh
La la la la la
You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh
Tingle running through my bones, fingers to my toes
Tingle running through my bones
The boys and the girls are in
I mess around with them
And I'm OK with it- "Medicine" by Harry Styles
Zac bit down on his lip hard as he listened to Harry and Georgie talk excitedly as they sat in the kitchen. Zac doing his best to tune them out as he scrolled through his phone, looking at the various social media sites.
Which really wasn't helping in the end because they all said the same thing too. They all kept reminding him that Harry had landed a role in a movie which was set to start filming next month in Paris and was supposed to last until October which meant four months away from Harry.
Four very long fucking months and Zac didn't want that. Not when he himself had just gotten back from a long photo shoot in the Bahamas and now it felt like in no time Harry would be gone and already the business was making him and Harry be apart again.
Then again he knew what would happen when they dated. He had done this routine with Hayes as well. Was pretty certain it was one reason she turned to someone else.
Zac hating that now that he and Harry were official he was afraid of Harry cheating. Something he hadn't truly been afraid of before they started dating. Before he realized that he was in love with Harry.
"We should go out to celebrate," Georgie said loud enough so that Zac could hear her. Probably wanted him too. "Does that sound good to you Zac?" she asked confirming what he suspected.
Georgie had wanted him to hear her.
Scrunching up his face Zac turned from where he was sitting on the couch, looking into the kitchen where Georgie and Harry were seated at the table.
"I'm not really feeling up for partying," he lied only partly. He was up for a good pity party. "But you two can go out and celebrate."
Harry raised an eyebrow as he looked at Zac, Zac knowing from the look on his face that he saw through his bullshit. Of course he would though.
In the end Harry had always been able to read him. It was a curse and godsend at the same time.
Watching as Harry sighed before standing up Zac turned away from both of them. Putting his attention back on his phone as he heard Harry's heavy footsteps coming into the room he was in.
His eyes not once looking up when he soon felt Harry sit down beside him.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked him softly. Soft enough that Georgie wouldn't hear them in the next room.
Chewing his lip again Zac knew it'd be best to tell the truth but when had he ever really done what was best?
"I'm fine," Zac lied as he finally looked up at Harry. Their eyes locking and he knew Harry would see through him again, would call him out. "I just don't feel like going out but you and George can go without me."
Narrowing his eyes Harry reached out and took Zac's phone from him, Zac knowing he only did it so he couldn't look down at it again. Because now that he was looking at Harry, had made eye contact, Harry wanted to keep it that way.
"Please come out with us," Harry spoke and again his voice was low. "We can invite Taylor and your sisters too. Make it a sort of family thing or something since half the people there are Hanson's or people who fuck Hanson's," he joked as he referred to himself and Georgie.
Zac having been right on Valentine's Day when he said Taylor had been awoken to Georgie's affections because they were now dating.
Taylor more than likely would eventually move into the apartment Zac had moved out of in March.
Heaving a sigh Zac shook his head, still wanting to be stubborn. "I don't want to celebrate okay. I'm not in the fucking mood," he hissed out his voice somehow silent despite his somewhat angry tone.
Harry narrowed his eyes more as he just looked at Zac and Zac was almost afraid that soon they'd be involved in some weird awkward staring contest until one of them caved and gave the other what they wanted.
Either Zac going out tonight or Harry leaving him alone to sulk and be angry over his boyfriend being gone for months, while his brain cooked up images of Harry cheating with another actor or someone behind the scenes on set.
"Please come," Harry tried again and this time he leaned into Zac. "I'll make it worth your while," he whispered into Zac's ear as his hand went to rest on Zac's crotch. Zac having to stifle a moan as Harry cupped his cock slightly, palming him through his jeans. "We'll be kinky and I'll suck you off in a public bathroom again. I'll be gagging around your cock," he continued and Zac hated himself for blushing.
Hated that he was getting turned on when he was still upset but fuck Harry was saying such dirty things into his ear. Not even caring that Georgie was in the next room.
Getting a control over his breathing it was Zac who sighed this time, his head turning ever so slightly so that he could leave a small kiss on Harry's lips. Pulling away slowly and loving the way Harry's eyes were now blown and dark. Full of the lust he had for Zac and only for him.
"I'll go," he finally agreed knowing in the end he should have known he'd cave. Harry always played dirty. "But I want to be the one sucking you off in a bathroom," he told him knowing he wanted Harry in his mouth tonight.
Needed to taste his come and have some proof that Harry for now was his and his alone.
Harry smirked as he inched closer to Zac again. Close enough that they could kiss. "We can do that," he nodded his head and before Zac could say anything else Harry was kissing him again.
The kiss soon turning into a fit of giggles when Georgie made a disgusting groaning sound from the kitchen.
Zac turned to look at Harry as they stood in their bedroom after Georgie had left. Both of them were supposed to be getting ready for their night out at a club not far from their house. Harry having texted Taylor, Avery, and Jessica all three surprisingly agreeing to come as well.
"You aren't supposed to be tempting me," Zac told him as he eyed the green eyed boy who'd been flirting with him ever since they came into the bedroom. "You already got me hard earlier and I had to think a lot of regular thoughts to get myself soft again," he said watching as Harry smirked.
The smirk enough to let him know that Harry had no shame for what he had done earlier.
"But it's fun to tempt you," Harry spoke all sultry as he walked to where Zac was. "That and maybe I want to suck you off quickly before we go out. That way we can both get blow jobs tonight."
Raising an eyebrow Zac just looked at Harry. "You're serious?" he asked not sure why he even had to ask. He should have known Harry was.
"I'm serious," Harry muttered as he leaned in to kiss Zac softly on the lips in a quick kiss. "But only if you tell me the real reason you were a sour puss earlier," he added on.
Zac also knowing he should have known Harry would bring that up again.
Blushing he shook his head almost feeling dumb now. Even if a part of him would be unhappy for awhile, until his brain realized Harry wasn't going to cheat on him.
"It was stupid," he sighed as his blush seemed to grow. "I just..I guess I'm unhappy about you going to Paris for four months especially since I haven't been back long and it just feels like you're leaving as soon as I get back and it's the same shit that happened with Hayes. The stuff that made her turn to Simon."
Harry fell silent only briefly, his hands coming to rest on either side of Zac's cheeks. "So you're saying you're afraid I'm going to cheat on you?" he asked and Zac didn't miss the hurt in Harry's voice. "You really think I'm going to do that?"
"Like I said it was stupid," Zac spoke sounding sheepish as his blush got even worse. "I don't want to think that you will but after Hayes...I guess I'm just scared."
"Well you have no reason to be," Harry sighed and he still sounded hurt but despite his hurt he still leaned in to kiss Zac again. This kiss longer than a peck. "Gonna show you how much I love you and no one else," he muttered in between kisses.
Zac feeling almost powerless as Harry pushed him up against a wall in their bedroom. A moan slipping out of his mouth as Harry's hand for the second time today cupped him through his pants. Massaging him to hardness.
The jeans he was wearing now much tighter and all he wanted was relief. Relief that Harry was slow in giving and maybe he was also trying to punish Zac as well for thinking so low of him.
It would be what he deserved.
Letting his eyes fall shut Zac moved his hips slightly as a small whine came out when Harry finally moved his hand away.
Harry laughing softly and his laugh was enough to make Zac open his eyes in time to see Harry dropping to his knees and undoing Zac's pants. Pushing them and his boxers down way too eagerly.
Like he was as desperate to have his mouth around Zac as Zac was for Harry to have his mouth around him.
Zac's eyes falling shut again as Harry let his hand go around Zac's already painfully hard cock, stroking him for a few seconds before letting his mouth wrap around Zac's length.
A loud moan falling from Zac's mouth at how good the hot wet heat felt around his cock.
"Fuck, Harry," Zac muttered out as he opened his eyes again, looking down at Harry who was expertly bobbing his head as he sucked on Zac's cock.
Harry only let his eyes look up at Zac after Zac spoke. His mouth continuing to work Zac over and he was sure Harry was doing this on purpose. Looking at him so prettily.
Zac biting down on his lip as he began to move his hips with the rhythm of Harry's mouth. His hand going down to tangle into Harry's hair.
"So good baby," Zac spoke again as his breathing hitched some. His hips continuing to move even after he became aware of the fact that Harry had stopped moving his mouth.
Letting Zac fuck it like some obedient little cock slut and Zac knew Harry wasn't really that usually. But maybe this was the part of showing Zac just how much he loved him.
If so Zac wasn't sure he was complaining.
Feeling his orgasm coming on Zac let his head fall back against the wall as his hips stilled. Harry still just keeping his mouth motionless as Zac came down his throat.
Harry only choosing to move after Zac was done, his hand going to his mouth to wipe some come that had fallen down his chin off. Zac swearing he could have came again if it were possible when Harry just licked the come off his hand again acting like some little cock slut.
"I love you," Zac muttered out as he reached out once Harry was fully stood up. Pulling the other man into him for a heated kiss.
A part of him not even caring that he could still taste himself on Harry as they kiss.
"Love you too," Harry muttered out in between kisses and maybe for now Zac believed him.
Maybe for now Zac also believed he wouldn't cheat either. Why would he when he had Zac?
Not that Zac was cocky anything or so he liked to think. He wasn't as cocky as Taylor could be anyway.
"So are you glad you came?" Harry slurred as he leaned against Zac as they sat in a booth at the club. Zac being sober while Harry wasn't because one of them had to be the designated driver tonight. "Because I'm glad you're here."
"You're only saying that because I sucked your cock in the bathroom twenty minutes ago," Zac teased him as he turned his head slightly, leaving a light kiss on Harry's head. "But yeah I'm glad I came and I'm glad you were so persuasive in getting me to come."
Harry let out a laugh as he let his hand move down to Zac's, their fingers linking together.
"I think you meant that sexually and I'll take the compliment," Harry spoke as he moved closer into Zac if that were possible and Zac was sure it was times like this he loved the fact that Harry was an affectionate soft drunk.
Because it meant he got more attention from his boyfriend.
"Good," Zac spoke softly as he just leaned back into the seat, basking in having Harry here by his side and having his friends and family too.
It was all he needed he was sure. That and all the blow jobs Harry would willingly give him.
Chapter 10: July 2015: It's only been a year but Zac and Harry are engaged!!!(Ring picture and details inside)
Excerpt: Zac knowing just from how he felt complete after being taken in by all of Harry's family for the first time and just how content that he felt that he wanted that feeling forever.
Who's this man that's holding your hand
And talking about your eyes?
Used to sing about being free but now he's changed his mind- "Stockholm Syndrome" by One Direction
Zac took several deep breaths as he looked down at the ring he had bought a few weeks back. A shopping trip he had wrangled Taylor into as well as his sister Avery. Mainly because Georgie had been busy.
Between helping Harry with promo for his movie that he had filmed last year, which was now set to be released in a matter of days now. It was hard to have her helping him find a ring that he wanted to give Harry when he asked Harry to spend the rest of his life with him.
A decision that had been made way back in December when they had spent their first Christmas together in New Jersey where Harry's mom and stepfather lived. Zac knowing just from how he felt complete after being taken in by all of Harry's family for the first time and just how content that he felt that he wanted that feeling forever.
That and he had the realization as he was sitting next to Harry opening gifts that it was something he wanted all of his life. Even with the busy life and how once again it felt like he was rarely getting to see his boyfriend right now.
Despite the fact that they were both in New York, the city where Harry's movie was set to premier and the city where Zac hoped to ask Harry to spend the rest of his life with him.
As well as show off the other surprise he had for Harry. A condo he had bought for them because while of course the home in California would be their homebase they did need a place for as often as they both seemed to be in New York for work and it wasn't like they were lacking in the money.
Both of them were still the top in their careers even if Harry had put his music on hold for the movie. Though Harry's label was already talking about the second album or another tour once the movie promo was done.
Something to keep Harry's name out there for his music fans too.
Zac also had another big shoot coming up in the UK as well not long after Harry's movie promo ended. That and he also had a few fashion shows he was supposed to walk in and life for them in coming months was going to be even more hectic.
But yet here Zac was wanting to marry Harry and asking to do just that tonight. Whenever Harry made it here to the condo that Zac had bought.
Georgie had just texted him ten minutes ago saying their interviews were done for the day and she had sent Harry off in a cab.
Zac's nerves working on overtime as he thought of how he wanted to do this. Wanted this night to go as well as hoping that Harry said yes.
Not sure what he'd do if Harry said no, though everyone who knew about this plan was certain Harry would say yes. It was just Zac's mind in this moment was afraid everyone was wrong.
His brain was letting him picture scenarios where Harry turned down his proposal. Most of them because Harry kept telling him there was no way a marriage between them could work when they both lead busy lifestyles and maybe it wasn't as much Zac's brain letting him think this as it was a warning from his inner conscience.
Luckily for him though a knock at the door interrupted his chain of thoughts. Though it only made his nerves grow because it could only be one person at the door.
Harry was here which meant that soon he'd be asking him to marry him and this was such a leap of faith. Especially from him because he had never saw himself getting married ever.
Not even when he had been with Hayes or anyone before her. Never thought he'd find anyone he'd want to make suffer with his busy life for the rest of their life.
Closing the box which held the ring, Zac put it back into the pocket of his pants before going to answer the door. Not at all surprised when he saw Harry looking at him confused once the door was open.
"Do you mind telling me where the hell we are?" Harry asked as he stepped inside of the empty condo. Stopping in his tracks as he just took in the place.
Zac letting out a small laugh as he shut the door behind Harry.
"It's a condo where I have candle light lunch set up on the floor," Zac answered as he came to stand beside Harry, watching as his confusion only grew as he looked down at the blanket sat up on the floor with scented candles on it as well as plates with sandwiches.
It wasn't as romantic as most engagements could be but this was Zac and well Harry had to know he wasn't the best at romance.
Romance was more Harry's thing.
"I can see that," Harry said as he turned to look at Zac. His cheeks a lovely shade of pink. "But why?"
Shrugging Zac moved to sit down on the blanket, watching as Harry hesitantly joined him like he was waiting for someone to jump out and surprise him.
If only he knew the surprise would be less dramatic than that.
"Because this place is ours and why not have lunch in it?" Zac asked casually dropping that the condo was theirs.
Harry's eyebrows shooting up in an amusing dramatic fashion that made Zac want to laugh but he held it in. Wasn't sure if Harry's eyebrow raise was a good surprised reaction or a bad one.
"I know I'm not drunk so I didn't mishear you," Harry said as he eyed Zac warily, his eyebrows still raised. "This condo is ours?"
Nodding Zac picked up his sandwich and took a bite, waiting until he swallowed to answer. Knowing he needed the slight distraction before answering.
"It's ours," Zac confirmed as he smiled slowly. "I bought it when I was here last week for a fashion show. I looked at several others but this one...it felt right. It felt like us."
"And what about our house in California?" Harry asked obviously having not connected the dots yet. Hadn't realized this was just a New York homebase for when they were here.
Zac took another bite of his sandwich before answering. "We'll still live there," he said after he swallowed. "This is just a place for when we're in New York. I thought you'd like it," he sighed second guessing himself in Harry's reaction.
Which was making him second guess the engagement too. Not that he hadn't been doing that before Harry arrived as well with his nerves and thoughts of how Harry could say no.
"I do like it," Harry stated as he smiled finally. "I'm just really surprised. I wasn't expecting this and it's just huge coming from you," he said and Zac wasn't sure if he should be offended by that statement or not.
Biting his lip Zac finally let himself relax some, once again taking a bite of his sandwich as a distraction. Knew what he wanted to do next but he was afraid and even if he was relaxed he was still second guessing popping the question.
He was second guessing everything and was that really good for a future together?
After awhile of silence in which Harry himself had finally started to eat the food, Zac took a deep breath as he eyed Harry. "This condo isn't the only huge thing I have planned for today," he revealed watching as Harry once again raised an eyebrow. "There was kind of something I wanted to ask you," he said as he reached into the pocket of his jeans for the black box that held the engagement ring.
Once it was in his hands he chewed his lips watching as Harry's confused eyebrow raise lead to a look of genuine shock as he looked from the box to Zac. But he remained silent obviously wanting Zac to continue going.
"I was wondering if you'd spend the rest of your life with me Harry Edward Styles," he continued as he opened the box so that Harry could see the ring. It was a simple silver band with the words I promise engraved on the inside. "I mean I know I'm not much when you could have anyone else but I want you and I hope you want me too," he finished as he was now the one eyeing Harry.
Hating how everything was in Harry's hands right now.
Harry visibly swallowed hard, Zac seeing tears welling up in his eyes as he nodded his head fast.
"I'd be honored to spend the rest of my life with you," Harry spoke and again Zac was at ease. His hands moving to get the ring out of the box as he slid it on Harry's hands. Almost surprised at how well it fit because he was afraid he had gotten the wrong size.
"I know it's not the best ring.." Zac started but was stopped by Harry.
"It's perfect now shut up and kiss me," Harry teased and well Zac didn't have to be told twice. He gave Harry what he wanted and leaned in to kiss him.
Feeling at least for now that nothing could touch them or ruin them. They were engaged to be married and they were going to spend forever together.
Chapter 11: July 2015: Harry Styles brings new fiancee' Zac Hanson as date to premiere in the first red carpet event for the couple.
Excerpt: "You're now my pop star fiancee."
I got a heart
And I got a soul
Believe me I will use them both
We made a start
Be it a false one, I know
Baby, I don't want to feel alone-"18" by One Direction
"I'm exhausted," Zac sighed as he collapsed onto the bed in the hotel room he and Harry were staying at. "Yet I'm not sure if I can sleep at the same time. Does that make sense?" he asked not sure if his words even made sense right now.
He felt like all day he had been going on one hundred in preparations for the movie premiere. From getting a few inches taken off his hair to finding the perfect suit with Georgie, even letting his friend pick out a regular tie for him and not a bow tie.
A tie that he had shed the moment they had stepped foot back into their hotel moments before.
"I think it makes sense," Harry said as he moved to lay beside Zac. Both of them looking up at the ceiling. "And to think we have to get up early tomorrow and catch a flight back to California," he continued his words making Zac groan. "I may be nice though and save you the effort of decorating the condo. I'll do it for you while you sleep for days until you're all rested up for that fashion shoot you get to walk in Italy."
"Don't remind me of that," Zac told him as he turned his head to look at Harry. "Just reminds me I'll be away from you again. I wish you could come with me to Italy."
Harry gave Zac a sad smile as he turned his head to look at him, "I wish I could too but we both know I can't," he said before leaning in to kiss Zac softly on the lips. "It's the week my label wants to have meetings about the music and what we're going to for sure do now that the movie stuff is done. Anyway even if I went you'd be too busy being a gorgeous model to entertain your pop star boyfriend."
"Fiancee," Zac corrected as his brown eyes locked with Harry's green. "You're now my pop star fiancee."
"Right," Harry grinned like an idiot, which did funny things to Zac's heart. "Now we've got to try to plan a wedding in the chaos of our lives," he spoke as if he was just now realizing that.
But despite his words his smile never faltered, which let Zac know that somehow Harry didn't mind it. Harry was all for planning a wedding in their crazy life.
"So you're not going to get cold feet knowing that?" Zac asked with a raised eyebrow. A small part of him just wanting to hear Harry say it because he seemed to live on constant validation from the other man.
Harry was the opposite of any other lover he had. Most especially his last one and he hated that now even after a year and a half with Harry he was still comparing him to Hayes. A woman who he now hadn't seen in some time.
Zac being forever thankful that Simon had gotten her pregnant just a few months back because her pregnancy made it to where she wasn't doing fashion shows as much and there was even rumors amongst different modeling circles as well as the media that once she had her baby she was going to retire.
Zac could only be so lucky.
Shaking his head Harry still kept his smile, "Never getting cold feet," he spoke with a dreamy sigh. "I can't wait to be your husband one day Zachary," he muttered before leaning in to kiss him again.
This kiss being long and deep. Zac almost losing himself in the kiss and feeling an ache when Harry pulled away.
His eyebrow raising as he looked over at Harry. Wondering why he had ruined a perfectly good kiss for.
"You know," Harry started as his smile turned into a smirk. "We never really have gotten to celebrate our engagement properly," he said his voice going low and Zac's cock seemed to twitch at that.
Both his brain and his cock getting the meaning of Harry's words at the same time it seemed.
"And just what do you suggest we do about that Harold?" he asked using a nickname he used on Harry every once in a while.
Even if Harry's name wasn't Harold. He was just plain old Harry.
Harry's smirk seemed to grow at Zac's question, "I was thinking we could make love," he whispered and before Zac could say anything else Harry was kissing him again.
Zac's eyes falling shut as he kissed Harry back. Hoping his kiss was enough to let Harry knew he was fine with that idea.
He'd never turn down making love to Harry.
Laying next to Harry after they had finished having sex, Zac held the other boy in his arm. Feeling a shiver run down his spine as Harry kept tracing a heart on Zac's chest with his finger. Both of them or well Zac assumed he looked as exhausted as Harry did too.
But even with their exhaustion they still weren't asleep yet and their flight back home tomorrow was going to be a bitch to get up for.
Zac swearing that despite his distaste for coffee he'd probably have to drink it himself just to survive.
"I was thinking," Harry started breaking the silence in the room. "When we get back home we should both get tattoos."
"Tattoos?" Zac questioned because he had never had a tattoo before. Wasn't sure his modeling agency would be too fond of him with one either.
But if Harry wanted tattoos then he'd get one for him. Because like he had known for a while now he'd do anything Harry asked of him. It was just the way his world was and had been since Harry walked into it.
Harry nodded his head as he left a small kiss on the same spot he'd been tracing with his finger tip. "Small half hearts on our chest," he told him sounding sure in his words. "That way even when we're apart we will have a reminder of each other. I mean I'll have the ring as well but I want you to have something other than the spank bank images I give you before one of us leaves the other for awhile."
Laughing Zac pulled Harry closer, "I think we can work something out," he said knowing they'd do it. They always found a way to do anything they wanted in the end.
The tattoos would be something they'd figure out as well.
"For now can we sleep though?" Zac asked with a raised eyebrow. "We both know if we don't sleep the trip back home tomorrow will suck."
Harry let out a dramatic sigh, though Zac knew he was only teasing him.
"Fine, if sleeping beauty needs his sleep we will sleep," he said before leaving one last kiss on Zac's chest.Causing Zac to shiver some.
Closing his eyes though he just listened to the silence of the room. Hearing when Harry drifted off beside him and Zac was certain that was the best soundtrack he had ever had when trying to go to sleep. The sound of Harry's soft breathing even if he did let an occasional snore out.
Though Harry's snoring was nowhere near as bad as Zac's own. It was probably a good thing it was Harry who had fallen asleep first then.
Zac not even sure why it was so hard for his brain to shut down tonight as well as hoping this wasn't a bad omen of some sorts.
Not that Zac believed in bad omens or anything. He wasn't religious really or even mystical either if that was the term for it.
Chapter 12: November 2016: Are Zac and Harry on the rocks? Sources say they are as they spend anniversary apart thanks to Harry's tour.
Excerpt: "Yeah well, you just need to tell life to fuck off," Avery told him her words making both him and Jessica laugh.
I know you said that you don't like it complicated
That we should try to keep it simple
But love is never ever simple no-"Clouds" by One Direction
Huffing, Zac threw the magazine that he was reading down on the coffee shop table. Not missing it when his sisters who were seated across from him jumped slightly. Both of them probably startled by his outburst.
"You okay?" Jessica asked obviously biting the bullet for the both of them and deciding to ask the question they both wanted to know.
Zac shook his head as he pointed at the magazine, "I'll never be okay as long as tabloids keep writing trash," he sneered feeling fed up with the fact that all the magazines kept reporting on how Zac and Harry must be broken up because they didn't spend their anniversary together.
Harry having spent it in some city in North Carolina while Zac had been home in Tulsa celebrating the holiday with his family.
He would have loved to spend the holiday and his anniversary with the man who he was still engaged too but it wasn't in the cards this year.
Just like the wedding they had hoped to have this year wasn't in the cards either thanks to Harry's label wanting him to tour most of the year before going into the studio sometime next year to start his second album.
Both of them hoping next year would be when they could finally have the wedding they had been trying to plan for a year now.
Even more so as some of their friends and family had beat them to the altar. Like Zac's sister Avery who was now married to one of Harry's friends Niall.
A friend that Harry had met on his first tour and who he had introduced Avery too once they had gotten back from the trip in which they themselves had gotten engaged. Avery and Niall having hit it off fast.
Fast enough that they were engaged three months in and had gotten married February of this year in a small wedding that had taken place in Colorado where Niall had been raised. Both of them deciding to make a home and life in California where they now lived.
Zac also knew Taylor was contemplating asking Georgie to take the next step as well and he swore if another one of his siblings beat him to getting married he would kill someone.
Which would be the last thing he needed only because it would put a damper on ever getting to marry Harry because he'd be in jail.
Avery frowned at Zac's words, reaching for her coffee which she took a sip from. "I think you should just go visit Harry on tour. Thanksgiving is over and he has another week left until he is home and you just need to get laid or something."
Blushing at Avery's words Zac shook his head, "I don't need to get laid," he spoke though he knew his words were a lie. He did need something other than his hand.
But like Avery said Harry would be home in a week. Zac almost thankful his tour wouldn't go past Christmas because the last thing he wanted was to spend more holidays away from his boyfriend.
"I can't go anyway," Zac added on as a frown somehow worked its way onto his face. "I have a shoot here tomorrow that is supposed to last a few days. It's for some new swimwear line and they have so many pictures they want to take with various models and life is demanding and keeping me away from the man I love."
"Yeah well, you just need to tell life to fuck off," Avery told him her words making both him and Jessica laugh.
The tension in him easing and things seemed to go fairly smoothly after that. The rest of his breakfast with his sisters seeming to fly by.
"Why are you browsing fan sites for Harry?" Taylor asked with a quirked eyebrow as they sat side by side on Taylor and Georgie's couch. Zac having come over because Taylor had a rare night off from filming and apparently he was lonely.
Having begged for his brother's company. But Zac knew he wasn't much company, not since he'd been browsing fan twitter accounts on his phone for Harry.
A habit he had picked up since tour started and something he hadn't done today. Hadn't really felt the need too at breakfast with his sisters but then around lunch time he had felt that urge. Just to see what Harry was doing since it was an off day for him and he hadn't called him once which was unusual.
Harry was good at calling on his off days.
"Because he's been hanging out with his opening act today and all the update accounts have the pictures," Zac snapped with a roll of his eyes. "He said last week that Kellen was getting on his nerves and now today it's like he is stuck up his ass."
"And you sound jealous," Taylor observed but Zac knew it didn't take a rocket scientist to know he was upset.
"I am," Zac admitted as he held his phone out for Taylor to see the pictures of Harry and Kellen out at dinner in some swanky New York restaurant. "It looks like a romantic dinner date. My fiancee is having a romantic dinner date with a hot man and he hasn't once called me today to see how I am."
Taylor rolled his eyes like he thought Zac was crazy and maybe Zac was crazy. Maybe he was out of his mind crazy but he hated seeing these pictures and not knowing the context.
"How about we go out?" Taylor finally suggested. "Maybe having alcohol in your system will do you some good or something."
Zac made a face at that, not sure if alcohol would really do him any good but what else was there to do? The other alternative was moping like an idiot and he didn't want to do that at all.
"Fine," Zac agreed not sure if it was the best but in the end if this failed he could blame Taylor.
Blaming Taylor sounded just fine to him in the long run.
Taylor only offered him a smile before standing from the couch. The smile on his brother's face doing nothing to ease his worries at all.
In fact it may have made them worse.
Once he had a few drinks in him, Zac stumbled outside of the club Taylor had taken him too. His phone clutched in his hand as he dialed Harry's number. Letting out a tiny groan when he got his fiancee's voicemail.
"I know you're awake," Zac slurred into the phone after the tone. "You're probably fucking Kellen aren't you?" he asked hating how jealous he sounded to himself. "I hate you right now Harry. I hate you so fucking much," he sighed as he racked a hand through his hair. "Just don't fucking contact me until your tour ends. I don't even want to hear your voice right now."
After saying all that Zac ended the call, putting his phone back in the pocket of his jeans and heading back inside the club. Needing another drink to get rid of the images of Harry and Kellen.
Images that only got worse the more he stewed on everything.
Waking the next morning, Zac let out a groan as his hand went to his temple. His eyes opening but the minute they did he almost wished they hadn't because everything hurt inside his head.
Hell his whole body hurt which he knew was because he was sleeping on Taylor and Georgie's couch. Had came here last night instead of going home because home reminded him of Harry and that was the last thing he had needed.
Though it was the thought of Harry that compelled him to sit up in on the couch. His hand reaching out for his phone because he remembered all of last night surprisingly. Remembered the message he had left Harry and now he felt awful.
Turning his phone on once it was in his hand Zac wasn't surprised to see a notification that he had a voicemail and so he clicked to listen to it. Already knowing or at least suspecting who it was who had called and left a message on his phone.
"I know you said not to contact you until my tour ends," Harry's voice greeted his ears and Zac could tell from the croaks in it that he had been crying when he left it. "But I just need to know if you really hate me?" he questioned and Zac felt his own heartbreak at how sad Harry sounded when he asked that.
It was like he was a child who had just watched his favorite puppy die.
"I..god Kellen means nothing to me Zachary," Harry muttered out through a literal sob. "I love you and please..please call me back when you get this."
Once the voicemail ended Zac knew he should have called Harry back immediately but instead he laid the phone down on the table. Knowing deep in his heart it wasn't Harry he hated.
He hated himself for what he had said last night and he hated himself for being so paranoid. Hated that he kept judging Harry with Hayes' past mistakes even after three years with Harry.
Chapter 13: December 2016: Harry comes back home to an icy airport reunion with Zac. Sources claim it's close to being over.
Excerpt: "I can't do this anymore Zac," Harry spoke being the first one to break it seemed and his words unsettled Zac.
I walked the streets all day
Running with the thieves
'Cause you left me in the hallway
Give me some more
Just take the pain away-"Meet Me In The Hallway" by Harry Styles
Zac made a face as he sat silently next to Harry on the couch. Neither of them having said anything since Harry had came home.
The ride from the airport had been silent and now hours later things were still silent. Both of them being stubborn and refusing to break and god how Zac wanted too.
All he wanted to do was apologize to Harry for the damn phone call a week ago now but he couldn't. He had too much pride it seemed. That or he was just a coward anyway.
A coward who hadn't even had the nerve to call Harry back after Harry had left him a voicemail, practically begging him to do just that.
Harry let out a sigh as he turned to face Zac. Zac wondering if he had felt the weight of his stare and that was why he had moved to look at him.
"I can't do this anymore Zac," Harry spoke being the first one to break it seemed and his words unsettled Zac. "I hate walking on eggshells around you. Feeling like one wrong thing is going set you off into a tirade because you supposedly hate me."
As his cheeks got hot, Zac moved his head as he looked away from Harry.
"I don't hate you," he admitted softly. "I hate myself for leaving that message. I was just drunk and pissed because you had been with Kellen all day that day. Then you two have this weird romantic looking dinner together and my mind just went places."
"Your mind went places because you don't trust me," Harry spat out as he shook his head. Zac hating the look of hurt that was written as plain as day on his face. "We've been together for three years and you don't trust me. It's going to be lovely when we get married," he said as he stood from the couch, gathering the containers that had housed their leftover Thai food.
"Marriage is supposed to be about trust and you can't even fucking trust me Zachary."
Scoffing Zac stood up as well, following behind Harry who headed into the kitchen to throw their trash away.
"So if you were in my shoes you would have been okay with that?" Zac countered his tone getting just as angry as Harry's was and this wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want an argument on Harry's first day back.
What he had wanted was a nice night in and maybe some sex but he had fucked that up when he got drunk and left the damn voicemail that was still haunting him a week later.
He should have just never gotten drunk. He swore now he would have been better off suffering sober.
Harry turned to face Zac after he had thrown the containers away, "I would have been okay," he answered him sounding like he meant it. "I love you enough to trust that you wouldn't cheat on me. But you can't give me that because you don't love me that much."
Zac wanted to open his mouth to rebuke that comment. Tell Harry that wasn't true only because it sounded like Harry was saying Zac didn't love him at all and he did.
Just, maybe Harry was right and he didn't love him enough to trust him.
Which proved that Harry was right. Their marriage was going to be lovely, in the way that meant it was going to be doomed.
"So what do we do then Harry?" Zac asked with a raised eyebrow. Hating the feeling that was growing in his stomach.
It was one that he had when it was nearing the end of his relationship with Hayes and he didn't want that here. He didn't want to lose Harry.
All he wanted was to erase leaving that damn message and marry the man in front of him. Maybe try to work on his trust issues too.
Harry looked away from Zac, a hand raking through his hair. "Maybe...maybe we should call it off," he stated so soft that Zac almost hadn't heard him but he had.
He heard and he wasn't sure if Harry meant the wedding or the relationship itself. Was tonight really going to be the end of the relationship he had with a man he swore he could still see himself spending forever with?
Despite their hectic lifestyle and everything, he still wanted forever damn it.
He didn't want it to all end here in their kitchen after Harry had thrown away their take out containers.
"The engagement?" Zac asked almost afraid of Harry's answer and the fear was apparent in his voice too.
Rolling his eyes Harry shook his head before once again raking a hand through his hair, "Yes, the engagement," he said with a nod of his head. "Though maybe breaking up would be good for us too or taking a break or something."
"And what exactly does taking a break entail?" Zac asked another question, feeling his heart beat rapidly in his chest.
Something he hated because it reminded him he was alive when he'd much rather be dead. How could he go on living if he lost the one thing that made everything worth it to him?
Harry shrugged seeming to avoid Zac's gaze. "Not doing couple stuff. I'll sleep in the guest room and we won't kiss or have sex. We'll just be platonic until we figure things out...until we decide if we want it to end or if we want to stay together."
Zac swallowed hard at Harry's words.
He wasn't sure he liked what Harry was saying but this, it seemed better than just ending it altogether. At least he'd have Harry without having him.
Harry would still be in this house and he'd still see him. Even if he couldn't touch him.
"And what about seeing other people on this break?" Zac questioned as a lump formed in his throat. "I really don't want a Ross and Rachel situation here where one of us considers it done done and the other doesn't and the one who doesn't freaks out when the one who does sleeps with someone else."
"No one else," Harry answered quicker than Zac had expected but his answer set Zac at ease some. "It wouldn't be fair to mess around with someone else while trying to figure out where we stand."
Nodding his head Zac just stood where he was for the longest time as did Harry. Harry finally being the first to move, saying something about wanting to go to bed and so Zac let him go.
Only waiting until Harry was gone to cry. His body somehow falling to the floor as he brought his knees to his chest, wishing he could take pain medicine or something for the pain he felt.
Because fuck did his chest hurt in ways it never had before. The ache almost hard to describe.
An ache that was there because he was afraid that in the end, things may not be fixable and the last thing he wanted was to lose Harry.
He didn't want Harry to just so simply walk out of his life one day if they couldn't fix things. The both of them becoming strangers like exes always did.
He wanted this to work and he wanted to marry the man who was now going to be sleeping in the guest room instead of beside him for however long it took to figure shit out.
Zac wasn't sure how long he had stayed on the floor but eventually he wiped at his eyes. Forcing himself to stand up and head upstairs.
Pausing only slightly when he reached the top, hearing moans coming from the guest room which he guessed now for the time being was just Harry's room.
Raising an eyebrow he let himself walk towards the door which he opened a crack. Not sure why he was surprised at the sight of Harry getting off. After all he was moaning and moans only meant one thing...usually.
But the sight hurt Zac more than it should have because he knew he couldn't go in and touch him. Couldn't go over and suck him off no matter how much he wanted too.
Harry was now off limits to him thanks to this break they were now on.
Shaking his head Zac slowly turned on his heel, heading towards his room. His own cock now having gotten hard just from seeing Harry jerking off and he knew he'd have to do the same.
He'd have to jerk off before going to sleep and all the while he'd be wishing it were Harry he was having sex with instead of his own god damn hand.
He had gotten tired of his hand while Harry was away and he had hoped to not have to use it with him back.
But his drunken mouth, leaving that voicemail had ruined everything.
Chapter 14: February 2017: Things between Zac and Harry are still frosty as they are set to spend Valentine's day apart.
Excerpt: Both of them willing to go down with a sinking ship.
The fridge light washes this room white
Moon dances over your good side
This was all we used to need
Tongue-tied like we've never known
Telling those stories we already told
'Cause we don't say what we really mean
We're not who we used to be
We're not who we used to be
We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me
We're not who we used to be
We're not who we used to be
We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty
Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat-"Two Ghosts" by Harry Styles
Zac frowned as he looked over and out of his room as he packed his suitcase, getting ready to head to New York were he was doing a shoot. One that would land him a highly coveted magazine cover.
As well as a shoot that involved the newest up and coming female model, Candy Fitzgerald. A girl who Zac knew some people within the business speculated was coming after Hayes' title which cracked him up because his ex was no one to attain to be like.
She was a cold hearted bitch who didn't care who she hurt and Zac was still reeling from the number she had done on him and that had been years ago now.
Yet somehow she was finding ways to ruin Zac. She had made it to where Zac didn't trust Harry and that was why he was still here in a relationship that was falling apart and had been since December. Neither Zac nor Harry throwing the towel in because they were stubborn.
They were so fucking stubborn.
So, Zac knew while he was gone for his shoot it'd be best to ignore Candy when they were together. The last thing he needed was another Hayes somehow in his life.
Shaking his head Zac went back to packing his things, hating that all he really wanted was Harry to come in here and stop him from going. Tell him it was crazy that he had taken this job because it meant they wouldn't get to spend Valentine's day together.
Then again if he were here they might not get to do that. Harry was back in the studio, working away on his second album or trying too.
From the rare times that he and Harry had conversations that were more than just one word conversations he knew Harry was struggling to write. Knew Harry was blocked somehow.
It was something that made Zac feel guilty because he blamed himself for that. Figured it was the growing distance between them that was making Harry's writing hard and it could be.
Zac wasn't a writer but he knew that sometimes your emotions could play a part in that and Harry's had to be as fucked up as Zac's even if Harry was being good at hiding how he felt.
Zac only really knowing Harry was taking this hard because Georgie told him. Georgie bless her soul, having to take neutral ground during these hard times.
Though sometimes she did seem to blame Zac more which was fair. If he had trusted Harry and hadn't left that voicemail they may not even be arguing. They may even be married by now instead of with an engagement that was called off.
"Are you okay?" a voice spoke and Zac jumped as he turned to look back at the door. Surprised to see Harry but maybe his thoughts of Harry had conjured the boy.
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Zac asked as he turned away from Harry to go back to packing. But as he spoke he knew his voice betrayed him.
It sounded like he wasn't okay and Harry would know.
"You're just not packing as fast as you normally do," Harry stated and Zac rolled his eyes before looking back at his boyfriend, if he could even call Harry that anymore.
Were they boyfriends still if they hadn't had a proper conversation in two months and hadn't kissed or fucked in just as long as well.
Zac didn't think so but maybe Harry did. They hadn't properly talked about what they were because it seemed they both liked to avoid talking about their big issues. They both were just comfortable being stuck in whatever rut they were in.
Both of them willing to go down with a sinking ship.
Zac let out a strangled laugh, "I'm just dreading the flight," he shrugged as he looked back at Harry. A small sigh leaving his lips. "Why do you even care if I'm not okay or that I'm packing slow?" he asked not sure why he had.
He also wasn't sure he wanted to hear Harry's answer either because sometimes it was best not to know things.
"I just do," Harry answered as he shrugged as well. Zac not even sure if he believed at all that Harry even cared.
If he truly cared about Zac he was doing a shit job in showing it lately. Then again Zac was just as guilty because he was doing a shit job at showing he cared about Harry as well. Lately, it was almost like they were just two ghosts occupying the same house.
"You do?" Zac questioned hating the way his voice cracked at that. Hated the way his eyes were starting to sting because he had tears welling up in them. "You actually care? Because lately it seems like neither of us do and we're just two ghosts who occupy the same damn space."
Harry visibly swallowed hard at that and Zac knew his words got to the other man. He had finally hit something in Harry that hurt.
Which made him feel almost accomplished..almost.
"Of course I fucking care," Harry told him with a harshness to his voice. "I'm never not going to care about you or even us," he said as a frown formed on his lips and whatever accomplished feeling Zac had, left him.
Because he hadn't wanted to hurt Harry that much. He hadn't wanted to make him sad but again that was another thing they were doing.
They were just constantly making each other sad and it sucked. Everything sucked lately.
"If you care then why are we still in this rut?" Zac asked before he could stop himself and he wished he had stopped himself.
Knew in his gut that was the wrong thing to say but when had he ever said the right thing? Especially here in the last few months.
Harry laughed though it was a sarcastic one, "So this is all on me?" he asked him with an accusing tone. "I'm the only one half assing everything?" he asked and again there was that damn accusing tone and this time Zac blushed.
Diverting his gaze away from Harry, Zac moved to sit down on his bed. Leaving his suitcase open and half unpacked. He could finish packing later after Harry left.
"No," he muttered out with a shake of his head. Admitting out loud that he too was to blame. "I know I'm just as guilty H," he spoke as the tears that were in his eyes finally came out. Zac hating that he was crying because he didn't want that, not right now.
"Well at least you know you are just as guilty," Harry told him as he walked just a bit farther into Zac's room. "But since you want to talk about this now, how do you think we should get out of this rut? I mean we have the same issues. Your trust hasn't grown and I'm still hurt and not sure how to show you that I love you so much that I'm not going to fuck everything up."
Zac let out another sigh, this one feeling heavy as he reached up to wipe at his eyes.
"We could break up," he suggested hating that he was the one saying it because wasn't he the one who had wanted to hang on?
Was it bad he didn't even remember anymore who had wanted to hang on and who hadn't?
"No," Harry stated and this time it was Harry who was adamant that they weren't going to end. "We'll....we'll talk about things when you get back from New York and try to work on stuff," he spoke as he walked to where Zac was, bending down in front of him.
Zac hating the tiny smile that formed on his own face when Harry took his hands in his own but it was hard not to smile. His boyfriend was finally showing him affection even if it was just a small thing.
It felt like a baby step in the right direction though.
"That sounds good to me," Zac told him because the truth was he really didn't want to break up either. He wanted to fix them if they could.
Would love to get back to Harry wearing his engagement ring even. Though Zac felt that might take a bit longer but it could happen.
He was feeling just a tad hopeful, maybe too hopeful but Harry was holding his hand and he had been touch starved, so he was allowed some hope.
Even if majority of his hope got dashed eventually.
Before he could say more Harry leaned in to leave a brief kiss on his lips before pulling away, standing up and leaving the room. Zac's smile growing some despite the fact that he knew he had to finish packing.
He half wondered if it was too soon to start a mental countdown until the day he was back in California with Harry. He hadn't even left yet so it probably was too soon.
Chapter 15: February 2017: Does Zac Want Candy? The Pair Were Spotted Having Drinks At New York's Hottest Night Club
Excerpt: "Just like you need to shower. You smell like a bar....and something else that I should know but don't."
Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short
But I think that's what I like about it
She's an angel
She's an angel
My only angel
I must admit I thought I'd like to make you mine
As I went about my business through the warning signs
End up meeting in the hallway every single time
And there's nothing we can do about it
Told it to her brother and she told it to me
That she's gonna be an angel, just you wait and see
When it turns out she's a devil in between the sheets-"Only Angel" by Harry Styles
Swallowing hard as he sat at the bar with Candy, Zac looked down at her hand which was resting against his thigh. He knew he should reach down and move it but well maybe he liked the feeling of it there or maybe he was just a bit too drunk.
It was Valentine's Day after all and he had a long shoot today with Candy, both of them dressed in nothing but their underwear since this was an ad for an underwear magazine. So he maybe kind of liked what he saw in the younger blonde who had done nothing but flirt with him all day.
Which was more than Harry had done today. The man he was supposedly going to work things out with hadn't even called him today, something Zac found fucked up because wasn't it Harry who had been adamant the day before he left in saying they'd try.
Didn't trying mean getting in contact with your significant other on holidays like Valentine's Day?
Zac guessed in Harry's world that wasn't the case and so here he was alone drinking and with Candy who clearly wanted him and maybe it wasn't who he really wanted. But the situation did ease his hurt and loneliness and made him feel semi wanted.
"You know," Candy spoke as she leaned in closer to Zac, her hand going farther up his thigh. "I've had such a huge crush on you for ages," she revealed and her words almost reminded him of that first night with Harry.
The thought alone being enough to get his dick hard as he remembered that poster Harry had on his bedroom wall. A poster that didn't hang up in their house anywhere but he knew Harry still had it because he had once found it in the back of their closet when he had been cleaning.
"Oh really?" Zac questioned as he pasted on a smile, leaning into Candy as well. Hating the way that the smell of her perfume did nothing to kill the arousal that had built inside of him at the old memory of his first night with Harry. "I'm pretty sure I'm older than you," he told her knowing she was younger than Harry even.
She had just turned twenty a few months back and being with her would be like robbing the cradle. More so than what it felt he was already doing with Harry half the time.
"And you're older than your fiancee too aren't you?" Candy countered as her hand went even higher on Zac's thigh. High enough that her fingers were resting on his erection and fuck he wanted her.
He didn't care about age or even Harry in this very moment. All he cared about was Candy and the fact that someone wanted him and was actually showing that they wanted him.
It'd been so long and his hand was getting kind of old as the only form of contact that he'd had.
"Is it true you two are in the process of breaking up?" Candy asked and this time as she spoke she let her hand fully cup his erection. His cock growing a bit harder at the feel of her hand around him, through his jeans.
That and the way she was slowly starting to message him some.
"Maybe," Zac answered not sure what else he could say. Because in the end he didn't know. "I'm not sure of much anymore when it comes to him or us."
Smirking Candy moved her hand away from his crotch, "Well, then how about I give you something to be sure of...at least with us," she muttered as she locked eyes with him before standing from the chair she was seated in. "This club has a private bathroom we could use," she told him and Zac almost wanted to ask her how she knew.
As well as turn her down because this was wrong. A cheap hook up in a bathroom of a club but then again he still wanted her and he was going to take her.
Regardless of how wrong everything was.
It was that thought that lead him to stand up and follow her as she lead the way to the bathroom. Zac staying silent the whole time.
Only letting out a grunt once they were in the bathroom and Candy pushed him against the closed door. Her lips crashing against his in a very hungry, yet also very drunk kiss. His hands going to rest at her waist as his eyes fell shut.
If he pretended just right he could almost pretend she was Harry. No matter how much more softer she was..how much more feminine she was.
Moaning when Candy's hand went back to his crotch, Zac slowly pushed into her hand slightly. Breaking the kiss as he looked down at her. Seeing nothing but lust in her eyes and again he knew he should stop things but he didn't.
Instead he only gave Candy a soft, tiny smirk before kissing her again and this time he was the one who took control. Backing away from the door as he lead her to a sink. Feeling her somehow maneuver herself up once they reached it and once she was up his hand went to her thigh.
Slipping up and under her skirt quickly like he was on a mission and he was. He was on a mission to get fucked which was why he pushed her panties to the side just as quick. His finger slowly slipping into her wetness, a moan coming out of her now.
A sound he was sure he hadn't caused from another person in months.
After all the last time he had sex with Harry was last year before Harry had left to go on tour.
"You like this?" Zac asked into the kiss as he began to work a finger inside of her. Fucking her with it slowly, wanting to make her get worked up.
Get even wetter than what she already was.
Candy nodded her head as she pulled away from the kiss, her hips moving with his finger now. "Think I'd like it even better if you were fucking me," she muttered out as she let her hands work on his jeans.
Zac listening as she undid them before pushing them and his boxers down. Leaving him half naked and feeling only a tiny bit exposed.
"You think you can fuck me?" Candy questioned him her voice turning seductive as her hand wrapped around his cock. Stroking him softly, in a way that proved that no matter how much he wanted the upper hand in this situation she still had it.
She always had it.
"I think I can," Zac answered as he let his finger slip out of her which caused her to whine, just a bit. A whine that died down when Zac moved so that he was at her entrance.
A loud moan coming out of him as Candy's hands went to his ass, pushing him inside of her. Proving that she was just as eager as him to fuck and god that thought alone was enough to make Zac start moving inside of her. Not even caring about being gentle.
It'd been entirely too long since he was inside of someone like this. Entirely too long since someone eagerly wanted to fuck him.
"Fuck, Candy," Zac muttered out as he let his hands rest on her waist as she began to match his movements. "You feel so good," he sighed out as he moved to let his lips go to her neck. His eyes falling shut because the last thing he wanted to see was a reflection of himself in the mirror as he fucked her.
Afraid that if he saw it, he'd actually feel guilty then and call everything off before he got to get off.
Making it back to the condo Zac slipped out of the taxi he had taken. Heading inside of the building where his shared condo with Harry was. The place where he had once asked the other man to marry him. A wedding that would probably never happen now.
Especially if Harry knew what he had just done tonight. That he had sex with someone else.
Then again Harry may not have cared. Because he didn't care enough today to even contact Zac just to wish him a Happy Valentine's Day. Something Zac knew he was probably taking out of proportion because usually he hated the holiday but well it would have showed Harry actually meant it when he said they'd try.
Shaking his head Zac just walked to the elevator. Pressing the button and when the doors opened he stepped in, hitting the button for his floor and just taking in the silence on the short trip up to the floor the condo was on.
Getting off the elevator when he reached his floor Zac went down to the door, reaching into his pocket for the key. Soon letting himself in and cutting on the light. His whole body soon freezing though after the light was on when he saw a body asleep on the couch and not just any body.
Harry was asleep on the couch.
Raising an eyebrow Zac finally forced himself to walk over to the couch, bending down to Harry's level as his hand ran through his hair. An action that woke Harry up, his eyes blinking for several minutes as he looked up at Zac.
"Surprise," Harry spoke softly a sleepy smile on his lips. A smile that brought an immediate guilt onto Zac as he looked down at the man he loved. The man he had just betrayed. "I...I know you've obviously had a late work day or night or whatever but I...I just had to come and see you."
"Well I am surprised," Zac told him watching as Harry slowly sat up some, Zac moving to sit down on the couch once the space was available. "I wasn't expecting this."
Harry kept his smile as a blush rose onto his cheeks, "I wasn't sure I'd be able to do this. But I jumped through some hoops and was able too. I didn't...I don't want to wait until you get back to California to try to fix us and I know it's way after Valentine's Day but I kind of want to start fixing us now. It's one reason why I came all this way to see you. That and what kind of fiancee would I be if I didn't see you for this holiday?"
Swallowing hard Zac prayed to god that his guilt didn't show. Because now it almost made sense why Harry hadn't contacted him today. He had probably been traveling.
"Fiancee?" Zac questioned his voice squeaking some...just a bit. Enough that he noticed but again he prayed that Harry didn't. "Does that mean the engagement is back on then? That this break between us is through?"
"It was through the minute I said we'd try once you got back home to California," Harry sighed as he slowly put his hand up as well. Revealing the engagement ring on his finger. A ring that he had taken off the day after their big fight back in December. "And yeah, the engagement is back on. I want to marry you Zac," he said sounding so sure of his words.
All of this making Zac feel like the lowest form of scum to exist.
"I mean if you still want me," Harry spoke not sounding so sure of his words now.
"Of course I still want you," Zac told him before he could even think about it. His wanting Harry was something that just was. "I'm never going to not want you," he admitted.
Harry only smiled more then, his hand reaching out for Zac's then and Zac let him take it. "Good, because there for a second I was afraid you didn't. Something seemed off with you."
"Nothing's off," Zac lied as he slowly squeezed Harry's hand. Hating himself for the lie but there was no way he could tell Harry that just an hour ago he was having sex with Candy in a bathroom. "I'm still surprised you are here is all."
"Well, don't die from shock on me," Harry told him softly as he leaned in some to leave a kiss on Zac's cheek and Zac hoped that Harry didn't smell Candy's perfume on him. "I'd love to have you alive tomorrow so I can wine and dine and seduce you since I didn't get to do that today. I made us reservations at a nice restaurant."
Again Zac swallowed hard, "You didn't have too."
"But I wanted too," Harry smiled before leaving another kiss on his cheek. "Just like you need to shower. You smell like a bar....and something else that I should know but don't."
Blushing at Harry's words, Zac stood from the couch, "I...a few of the other models and I went out after the shoot," he confessed and this time it was a half lie.
It was only just him and Candy.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me," Harry told him through a yawn as he too stood from the couch. "Just go and shower then come and join me in bed," he said before turning and leaving.
Zac letting his eyes fall shut briefly once Harry was out of site and he half wished Harry didn't trust him so much. But he did, that much was obvious from the last things he had said.
He trusted Zac so much and had from day one and now Zac had destroyed it..or would once the truth came out. Zac knowing it would despite the fact that he never wanted to tell him.
Didn't plan on telling him anytime soon.
Chapter 16: February 2017: Harry and Zac spotted having a fancy dinner. Could they be working things out?
Excerpt: "I'll keep silent only if you do something for me first," Candy sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Running through the garden, oh, where nothing bothered us
But we're still young
I always think about you and how we don't speak enough
And ohhhh, we started
Two hearts in one home
I know it's hard, we argue
We're both stubborn, I know-"Sweet Creature" by Harry Styles
"So you're fiancee is in town?" Candy questioned Zac once they were both alone getting changed back into their clothes. The shoot today having been much shorter than the one yesterday.
Something Zac was thankful for because he didn't want to be alone with Candy for longer than he had to be.
Just being around her was enough to make him once again feel horrible. He had enough of that when he was with Harry by himself.
"He seemed so unaware as he sat in a chair off to the side watching the shoot," Candy continued in Zac's silence. Her words making him bristle some. "I take it you didn't tell him we slept together."
Shaking his head Zac finished getting dressed, "I'm not going to tell the man I'm engaged too that I cheated on him with someone else last night," he hissed keeping his voice low because he had no clue where Harry was right now.
Didn't want Harry to hear this conversation.
"I could tell him," Candy spoke as a smirk settled itself onto her lips. "Then you'd know for sure just what you and Harry were. Because didn't you say last night you weren't sure? Or maybe that was just a lie to get in my pants..not that you had to lie to do that," she told him as she too finished getting dressed.
Her body automatically moving closer to his.
Zac hating the way that a part of him was slightly turned on by her still. Even after what she had just said and even after knowing Harry was committed to working things out.
Doing his best to glare at her, Zac shook his head, "You're not going to tell him," he told her as he locked eyes with her. "Harry doesn't have to know a thing."
"Oh, so then your words were just something you said to get in my pants," Candy stated like she had her mind made up. Zac knowing that they weren't the truth but she wouldn't believe him in the end.
"I'll keep silent only if you do something for me first," Candy sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest. Looking as serious as he was trying to be.
She was probably doing a better job if Zac were honest, because she it seemed would always have the upper hand on him.
"What do I have to do for you?" Zac asked almost afraid of what her stipulation to be silent would be.
He knew deep down it wouldn't be a good one but at this rate he'd sell his soul to the devil to make sure Harry never found out about his slip up.
"Come to my hotel tonight," Candy told him with a knowing look. "I have to have you one more time before we part ways," she smirked again though despite her smirk her arms stayed crossed over her chest.
Zac almost wanting to be sick at her stipulation...on what she wanted from him. But he didn't see any other option he had.
It was either have sex with her again tonight or he knew deep in his bones that she'd go and track Harry down. Telling him everything that had happened between them.
"Fine," Zac relented as he looked away from her, running a hand through his hair. "But it's going to be late because Harry and I have plans," he said not even sure now if he could make it through dinner and whatever else Harry wanted to do.
How could he even walk out of this changing room and face Harry knowing he'd be fucking Candy again before the night was through?
He wasn't sure he could even if he knew he had too.
Candy shrugged her shoulders, "Just as long as you come in the end," she told him and Zac knew just from the tone she used she didn't mean that so innocently.
Staying silent he watched as she finally left and once she was gone that's when he left the room too. Deciding to track down Harry so they could head back to their condo and get ready for the night.
Zac hating that he wasn't as enthused by the idea now since he knew after, some time tonight he'd be sneaking off to go and see Candy.
This wasn't how he wanted to to start fixing things with Harry but maybe this was destined to happen since he was starting off with a huge secret anyway.
But if the truth came out Zac knew there'd be no fixing things. Harry would break up with him and he didn't want that. He wanted to keep Harry and to marry Harry, no matter what.
"We should do this more often," Harry sighed contently as he leaned back against Zac. The both of them in the bathtub.
Taking a bath had been Harry's idea after they got back from dinner and Zac had been powerless to resist him. It was always hard to tell Harry no when his lips were attached to Zac's neck.
"Taking baths together?" Zac teased him as he slid his arms around Harry's shoulders. Leaving a light kiss on his head, inhaling his shampoo.
Hating the way his brain wanted to compare Harry's scent to Candy's. Both of them using flowery scents.
"Well, yeah this but also just going out more," Harry said without even turning to look at Zac. "I think once we get back home to California we should somehow make a way to have a date night once a week. You and I just reconnecting like we did when we first met."
"And what about when we're both away for awhile?"
Harry seemed to pause at that Zac knowing he was truly considering what was said.
"Then we'll still find a way somehow...I think we should make a two week rule," Harry said finally turning his head some to look at Zac. "We don't ever go two weeks without seeing each other. It's what the Beckham's do supposedly."
"I think that works for me," Zac agreed knowing the two week rule seemed like it could work. Especially since up until now they hadn't really had any rules.
They'd just go without seeing each other until they were done with their work commitments no matter how long the time apart was.
After agreeing to what Harry said, things fell silent between them. Both of them staying in the bathtub until the water was almost cold.
Zac shivering just a bit once he was out and had a towel wrapped around his waist.
"You cold?" Harry asked his voice dropping to his low seductive one. Zac raising his head to look at Harry who was also now clad in just a towel, his body much closer to Zac's then what it had been before. "Because if so I think I know a way to fix that," he spoke softly.
Not even giving Zac time to reply before his lips were on Zac's. Zac feeling his eyes flutter shut as he kissed Harry back almost eagerly. A moan slipping out of his mouth and into Harry's when Harry's hands went to rest on his waist.
The touch leaving Zac feeling like his body was on fire. A good kind of fire but maybe he also deserved the bad too given what he had done and the secrets he was keeping from Harry.
Pulling away from the kiss slowly, Zac just eyed Harry briefly before smirking.
"How do you plan on fixing me being cold?" he asked deciding to play dumb. "I'm not sure I can think of any ways off the top of my head."
Harry returned Zac's smirk, "If you're that dense then I don't think you really deserve what I want to do," he retorted playfully before moving away and leaving the bathroom.
Zac trailing behind him like a puppy because fuck he wanted it. Even if he knew he truly really didn't deserve what Harry had in mind.
What he did deserve was never to be touched by Harry again but he wasn't going to say that out loud. That would lead to do a discussion he didn't want to have right now.
"I'm not that dense," Zac finally spoke when they reached the bedroom. Harry turning to face him after he spoke. "So I think I do deserve what you want to do," he continued as he walked to where Harry was.
His hands falling down as he let the towel he had on fall off. Leaving him completely naked and half hard in front of Harry.
"Please help me out here," Zac pleaded his voice going all soft and needy.
But he wasn't embarrassed by it in the slightest.
Why should he be embarrassed that he needed his fiancee to give him relief sexually? It had been months since Harry had even touched him sexually.
Even if it hadn't been months since Zac was last touched sexually. Hell, it hadn't even been twenty-four hours.
Harry just looked at Zac skeptically for long enough that Zac was afraid he wouldn't give in. He wouldn't give him what he wanted.
"What's the special word Zachary?" Harry asked as he reached down letting his own towel drop to the floor. Zac being unable to stop it when his eyes went down Harry's body.
He was so beautiful that sometimes even now after all these years Zac had trouble processing why Harry had wanted him.
He was eight almost nine years older than Harry and the boy could have went for anyone he wanted. Especially someone closer to his age and yet he had chosen Zac.
He still choose Zac after everything in the end....or he would until he knew the truth about what Zac was.
That Zac was a cheater. He had turned into what he hated about Hayes.
In the end it hadn't been Harry who had become Hayes. It was him.
"Please," Zac squeaked out finally as he came out of his thoughts. Watching as Harry dropped to his knees in front of him and if Zac was going to say anything else it died on his lips when Harry's mouth wrapped around his cock. The warm wetness feeling so good.
All Zac was really capable of then was moaning, his hand going down to tangle in Harry's hair as the other man started to bob his head up and down. His mouth working Zac's cock just like he knew how too.
Knowing what Zac liked because three years together could teach a person a lot about another person's body.
Before he could reach his end which had been fast approaching, Harry moved his mouth off Zac's cock. Causing Zac to let out a whine at the loss of contact.
"Don't whine," Harry reprimanded him as he stood up with a shake of his head. "I don't want you coming in my mouth," he said and just the way he said. It sounded so filthy to Zac.
Filthy enough that Zac swore he almost could have came on the spot but lucky for him and Harry he didn't.
"And where do you want me coming?" Zac questioned with a raised eyebrow following Harry as Harry walked to the bed.
Both of them moving to lay down and Harry didn't respond at first. Instead he let his hand go around Zac's cock, stroking him softly.
"In my ass," Harry finally revealed and again he sounded so fucking filthy with the words he said. "I want to make love to you Zachary. Show you how much I missed your body and just sex with you in general."
Zac nodded his head not sure if he could speak right now. Something Harry must have sensed because he leaned in and kissed Zac again. His hand still working Zac's cock as he pushed him onto his back, soon climbing over him.
His hand eventually falling away not long after that. Harry pulling away from the kiss as well as he slid down onto Zac. His eyes falling shut as he did so.
A fact that Zac hated because he wanted to look into Harry's eyes but it was also a fact he liked too. His expression with his shut eyes and a tiny smile on his lips was enough to let Zac know he enjoyed the feeling of Zac's cock inside of him. That he just enjoyed Zac sexually.
Knowledge Zac knew. Had known all along though yesterday it seemed he had forgotten it or wanted an excuse to forget it so he could get his dick wet.
The last thought making him feel like scum again.
"I don't deserve you," Zac finally stated, his words causing Harry to open his eyes as he slowly started to move on Zac's cock. Making a nice rhythm.
It wasn't too slow or too fast. Somewhere in between.
"But you have me," Harry told him as they locked eyes. "You have me and I'm never going anywhere," he smiled as he kept his movements the same pace.
Zac's hands going to rest on Harry's waist and Zac almost wanted to tell him to never say never but he didn't. Instead he kept his mouth shut and decided to enjoy the moment.
Enjoy making love to his beautiful fiancee who really was too sweet for Zac.
Looking down guiltly at Harry who was sleeping beside him, Zac slipped out of bed as he slowly went to the dresser to get some clothes. Knowing he needed to go and meet Candy.
He didn't want too, not after being intimate with Harry but he didn't see a way out of the arrangement with Candy. Knowing full well if he didn't show she'd tell Harry.
So in ways as much as he hated the idea of what he was about to do maybe he could lie to himself. Tell himself he was doing this to save the man he loved a broken heart.
The reality of the situation he knew was he was doing this out of his own selfishness and wanting to keep Harry from finding out he had cheated...was cheating.
He was doing this so he could keep someone he didn't deserve.
Chapter 17: March 2017: Harry and Zac Get Matching Tattoos Among Rampant Rumors Zac Is Cheating On Harry.
Excerpt: Something Zac had enjoyed and also hated at the same time. Feeling like a walking ball of contradictions all in one.
I just really love Harry's cover of Just A Little Bit of Your Heart <3
I don't ever ask you where you've been
And I don't feel the need to
Know who you're with
I can't even think straight but I can tell
You were just with her
And I'll still be a fool, I'm a fool for you-"Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart" by Harry Styles
Waking up in a hotel room in California, Zac blinked as he took in the shape of the person beside him. Hating himself when he realized it was Candy beside him.
Then again of course it would be because she had texted him last night saying she was in town and that if he wanted her silence even longer he would have to meet up with her and have sex again.
She was using sex as blackmail and making him even more of a cheating bastard than he already was.
It was awful and now he almost didn't want to get up and head back home. Wasn't sure he could face Harry after having three rounds of sex with Candy. Once in the bathroom of the hotel room and twice here in this bed.
Something Zac had enjoyed and also hated at the same time. Feeling like a walking ball of contradictions all in one.
"You're awake," Candy stated as she opened her eyes to look at him. Zac realizing she didn't look as pretty in the morning when she woke up. Not as pretty as Harry looked after waking up. "I could feel you staring."
"I have to get back home," Zac told her as he sat up in bed. Keeping the sheets around his waist. "Harry will probably wake up soon if he hasn't already and I don't know how to explain my absence," he muttered with a shake of his head.
Hating that he had fallen asleep in bed with Candy. He had no intentions of falling asleep but after the third round he had been so exhausted that sleep felt like the only natural thing to do and so he slept. He had stayed here in this room with Candy and slept almost like a baby.
Zac knowing he didn't deserve that. He shouldn't be sleeping peacefully when he was hurting someone who loved him and trusted him still.
Candy scrunched her nose up as she sat up to. Her eyes landing on the half heart tattoo Zac had on his chest. Harry having the other half on his chest.
It was a tattoo they had gotten done a few days back and Harry had suggested it. Saying they had mentioned it the day after their engagement though neither had followed through and he felt like now was the perfect time to get it done. To show they had made it through a shitty time in their relationship.
Zac almost feeling sick when he said that because he knew if Harry knew the truth about him there would have been no tattoo's. They'd be over and done with in a blink of an eye.
"Do you really have to go back home to him?" she asked before leaning in to leave a light kiss on the tattoo on his chest. Zac hating the way his eyes fluttered shut briefly. Her lips feeling so good on his skin.
Despite the fact that they shouldn't have.
"He's my fiancee," Zac told her as he finally moved to stand from the bed. Not sure why he was surprised when Candy followed suit.
Though her standing made it hard for him to get dressed. Her hands had immediately went to his hips. Stopping him from going anywhere.
"He's your fiancee who you are cheating on," Candy reminded him of what he already knew. "I get you love him but if you really really loved him you wouldn't be here. Even with my threats of breaking my silence," she said and Zac saw a smirk on her lips.
Like she knew or thought there were other reasons Zac was here.
"And what are you trying to say?" Zac asked her before biting down on his lip when one of her hands moved around his cock.
Zac hating his body for getting turned on. His cock coming to life in her hands.
Shrugging Candy looked at him innocently before dropping to her knees in front of him. "I'm saying I think you're lying to yourself about how much you love him. That or I'm just the better lover," she told him with a wink and before he could object to her words her mouth slid around his cock and all he could do was moan out.
His hands going down to her hair as he once again hated his body for liking what she was doing. Hated his body and himself for staying in place as she sucked his cock.
After leaving the hotel sometime after seven in the morning Zac chewed on his lip as he drove to a small diner instead of heading home to Harry.
Knew he should go home to Harry because Harry had texted him twice already asking where he was. Zac half sure he was probably panicked and concerned. He'd probably called everyone of Zac's friends and family who lived here in California asking if they had seen or heard from him and when they said no well...Zac was sure that was doing nothing to ease Harry's worries at all.
Shaking his head he pulled into the diner's parking lot and reached for his cell phone. Seeing a third text from Harry.
Zachary Walker Hanson this isn't funny. Please tell me where you are at. I've called everyone and I'm going out of my mind here...please talk to me and let me know you are alive.
Frowning Zac exited out of the messages before going to his contacts and hitting a number he hadn't used in years though he knew it was still the same number. Hayes hated change and so she'd never change her cell phone number ever.
"Hello?" Hayes spoke after the fourth ring not even sounding tired so Zac knew he hadn't woke her up which surprised him.
She was in the final months of her pregnancy with her second baby and he half suspected as much as she hated change that she'd at least start sleeping in instead of getting up at the ass crack of dawn to work out.
Not that he could hold that against her because Harry did that too. Though Harry was more into morning jogs and sometimes if he was lucky Zac would go with him. Even if Zac wasn't much for morning workouts. He liked his sleep and would prefer to workout in the afternoon.
"Hey Hayes," Zac spoke not even sure how to start this out. He hadn't properly seen her in over a year or maybe it was two. "It's me but you probably know that..."
"And you're rambling Zachary," Hayes sighed out sounding annoyed. "Why are you contacting me for after all this time?"
Zac swallowed hard as he blushed at her words and the way she reprimanded him like a mother would.
"Because I need someone to talk too. Can you meet me at this really small diner outside Los Angeles? I can text you the directions."
Hayes sighed again. Zac almost worried that she'd say no and turn him down, leaving him with no one to talk too.
"I'm not sure why you want to talk to me when you have a fiancee or friends that could work but sure, just send me the directions," she said sounding like this was going to take a toll on her.
In which case Zac didn't get why she even agreed. She could have just said no.
Instead of telling her that though he hung up without saying goodbye. Sending her a text with directions before putting his cell phone back in the empty cup holder and heading inside the diner to await Hayes' arrival.
"So are you going to tell me why you wanted to talk to me?" Hayes asked midway through the both of them eating. The both of them remaining silent except for when they had given their orders. "Because I could be at home with Valentine right now," she shrugged casually mentioning her son.
A baby that Zac has only seen through paparazzi pictures in magazines. But from what he had seen he knew little Valentine looked a lot like Simon. The man Hayes had cheated on him with and was now happily spending her life with.
Zac almost wanting to shudder when his brain reminded him he could one day be Hayes, stuck spending a life with Candy.
Except he didn't love Candy and he was almost sure now that Hayes may have actually loved Simon.
"I've turned into you," Zac said not sure how else to start this conversation. "I'm...I'm cheating on Harry," he admitted almost shamefully as he looked away from Hayes. "I didn't trust him enough and we went on a break and last month I slept with Candy," he revealed finally looking at Hayes.
Not shocked by the disgusted look on her face.
"You're sleeping with Candace Fitzgerald?" Hayes asked almost in disbelief. "I should be shocked but I'm not. That little bitch wants everything that was once mine."
"I'm not hers," Zac defended sounding a bit annoyed. "But yes, I'm sleeping with her. She keeps saying if I don't she'll tell Harry."
Hayes shook her heat at that information, "She would," she said sounding not as surprised by that. "But I don't get how this has turned you into me?"
"Because I'm a cheating heartless bastard," Zac stated as if that made sense. "I was so fucking ruined because of you that I didn't trust Harry enough and during one of the times we were having issues I cheated. Just like you cheated on me when you didn't trust me enough around George."
Hayes eyed him for several long seconds, taking a bite of her food as she did so and once she had swallowed she shook her head.
"What I felt for Georgina doesn't matter now," she sighed which Zac thought was bullshit. "But my fears of you cheating weren't why I cheated. As much as I hate to admit this I just fell out of love with you Zachary and I turned to someone else," she told him with a shrug of her shoulders. "I didn't want to admit that then but I can now because I actually love Simon."
Going silent Zac stared at her in disbelief. Almost positive that he was hearing her wrong but he knew he wasn't. She had for once offered him the truth in the best way she knew how.
A first for her he felt like.
"If you're cheating that doesn't make you me. Especially if you still love Harry which you seem to do with how conflicted you are and the best advice I can give you there is to be honest with him. Honesty may save your relationship," she offered and her words now did nothing to help him.
Zac knew honesty wouldn't save things. Not with as many times as he'd been with Candy already.
He didn't say that though, instead he just remained silent. A comfortable silence falling over them both as they finished eating. Zac already dreading when this ended because it meant facing Harry finally.
Arriving home Zac parked his car almost apprehensively, spotting Harry sitting on the steps of the porch. His stomach dropping slightly when they locked eyes before Zac even got out of the car.
It was apparent even from where Zac was sitting in the car that Harry was a wreck. He was a wreck all because of Zac and truly Zac didn't deserve that man.
Taking a deep breath Zac got out of the car, walking to where Harry was and when he reached him, he sat down beside him. Unable to even look at him.
"I was..." he started only for Harry to stop him.
"I saw the pictures," Harry spoke harshly his words making Zac's blood run cold as he turned his head fast to look at him. "Some fan was there and saw you two," he said with a shake of his head.
"Saw us?" Zac asked feeling like his heart had stopped but he knew it hadn't.
But it felt like it because he hadn't realized a fan saw him at Candy's hotel last night.
"Yeah, you and Hayes having breakfast," Harry continued his voice still harsh. "You snuck out of the house to hang out with the ex who you blame for all your problems," he said with a shake of his head.
Zac's worries fading some but not all the way.
"I want to be angry you know because I know if I had done that. Snuck out of the house to go meet an ex or even a friend I know where your head would go but I'm not angry because I love you and I trust you despite how suspicious this looks," Harry told him as his voice cracked a tear going down his cheek.
A sight that made Zac look away again.
"But you're crying," Zac stated softly.
"I'm crying because I don't get why you did it or why you ignored me when I was trying to get in touch with you," Harry explained and Zac watched from the corner of his eye as Harry wiped at his cheek. "I don't get you. Things were going so well and now, now it kind of feels like maybe I thought wrong," he sighed.
Looking back at Harry, Zac wanted to say something, anything but before he could Harry stood up and headed inside. Zac not even having the will to go after him.
Chapter 18: March 2017: Jealous Harry: Harry gets jealous watching Zac dance with Candy(pictures inside)
Excerpt: "I thought about it when we were in New York but was too afraid to say anything then but well after the last few days I think maybe it'd do us good. Just to give us added protection...and a way to communicate better."
Tempted, you know
Apologies are never gonna fix this
I'm empty, I know
Promises are broken like the stitches
I hope you can see the shape I've been in
While he's touching your skin
This thing upon me, howls like a beast
You flower, you feast-"Woman" by Harry Styles
"Are we still on for our date night?" Zac asked Harry a day after the incident with Hayes'. An incident that was still causing trouble between them it seemed.
Even though Zac had done his best to apologize. After all it wasn't Hayes he was cheating with, it was Candy. Not that Harry needed to know that. Harry didn't need to know Zac was cheating at all.
Harry was fine in blissful ignorance or so Zac kept telling himself. Knew it was the only way he could live with what he was doing to the other man.
Harry who had been beside Zac on the couch, doing some crossword puzzle, raised an eyebrow like he couldn't believe Zac had the audacity to ask him that. Which let Zac know that they probably weren't still on for their date night tonight.
It was canceled all because of him.
"I really want to say no," Harry sighed. "But yes, we're going out tonight," he spoke and Zac couldn't help the smile. "But, we're not going to be alone," he continued and now it was Zac who was raising an eyebrow.
"Are George and Taylor coming with us?" Zac asked softly not even sure if they would.
Last he heard from Taylor they had a pretty big argument last week and he wasn't sure they'd make it either. The words giving Zac comfort that not all relationships where like Avery and Niall's and in blissful heaven.
Harry shook his head as he turned away from Zac. "No," he stated. "They're still on the outs. But your model friend Candy called," he said not even showing any signs that he suspected that Candy was more than a friend. "She said she's in town and she'd love to hang out tonight before she goes off to Germany for some event."
"I didn't know you were friends with Candy," Zac said hoping that his words didn't seem off. Because inside he was going crazy at the thought that Candy had called Harry.
That Candy even had the nerve to want to hang out with them, when she knew the truth as well. That she was fucking Zac behind Harry's back.
It was sick and twisted and Zac was sure she may have been worse than Hayes. Hayes never would have done that.
"We exchanged numbers last month," Harry shrugged. "May as well get to know her, right?" he questioned so nonchalant.
Zac hating how innocent he was when he shouldn't have been. If only he had known the truth but he didn't.
"Right," Zac whispered as he rolled his eyes. Knowing there'd be no use in arguing with Harry on this.
Harry wanted to go out tonight and hang out with Candy and they would. Anyway if Zac argued with him on this Harry would ask questions.
Questions that Zac didn't want to answer.
Smirking as he danced close to Candy sometime later, Zac was lost in his own little world sort of. He had somehow gotten through the day knowing that tonight he'd be spending it with Candy and Harry both.
Most of his getting through today was knowing that wherever they went there would probably be alcohol. After all it was Candy and he knew how much Candy liked to drink.
Except tonight as he and both the people he were fucking were out partying, Zac was sure he was the one who had drank the most but again it was alcohol that was getting him through now, like the thought of it had gotten him through today.
"You're cute like this," Candy told him as she slung an arm around his neck. "All drunk and smiling."
"And you're plain cute," Zac retorted as he let his arms slip around her waist. Letting his hips press against her, knowing she'd feel his hard on.
Knew she'd know it was all because of her and their dancing and just because it was her. God damn it he hated it but she had that effect on him.
An effect he knew he should be trying to curb since his fiancee was somewhere in this club but he didn't want too. He wanted to have his fun because couldn't he be allowed that? Even if he loved Harry he could flirt.
Harry trusted him even if it was undeserved trust or he had trusted him up until yesterday morning. But he was wrong in who Zac was fucking.
Candy let out a giggle as she buried her head in Zac's neck. Zac shivering at her breath on his skin, his eyes falling shut some.
"You're fiancee is going to kill us both," Candy told him. Her words making Zac open his eyes as he looked down at the woman. "Though maybe you don't care. Maybe you want him to kill us."
Before Zac could reply though, he felt arms wrap around his waist from behind him and he didn't even have to turn his head to see who it was. He knew just from the scent and the home feeling that he got it was Harry. Something that surprised him because Harry was mad at him.
So why was Harry slipping his arms around Zac's waist.
"I hope you don't mind Cady," Harry spoke his words not even slurring so there was no reason for his mess up in saying Candy's name. "But I really want to steal my fiancee for a bit," he said as his chin came to rest on Zac's shoulder.
Zac turning his head to look at Harry. Feeling surprised at the way Harry was glaring daggers at Candy and maybe she was right.
Harry was going to kill them both starting with him.
"Sure, take him. He's all yours for now," Candy stated and Zac didn't even turn to watch her leave. He was to engrossed in looking at Harry.
Saw the way his nostrils flared when Candy had said Zac was all his for now. Because the way she had implied it held more meaning than just a simple dance or two.
Zac knew and it seemed so did Harry.
Once Candy was out of eye sight or so Zac assumed since he never turned to see where she had went. He found himself turning in Harry's arms. His cheeks getting hot as he blushed because he knew Harry would feel his erection.
Knew Harry would figure things out and realize Candy had made him hard. Though it was Harry's obvious jealousy that was keeping him that way.
The jealousy was enough to let Zac know that Harry was still affected by him. Harry still loved him even if he thought he was fucking Hayes and maybe if Harry knew the truth Harry would still love him. They could survive it together because they were a team.
But that meant Zac had to be honest and he didn't want that right now. He'd be honest tomorrow when he wasn't drunk.
"I don't like Candy," Harry snarled some as his grip on Zac's waist tightened. "Though it seems a part of you does," he added on his hips brushed into Zac's.
Zac having to bite his lip to stifle his moan. Harry doing nothing to kill his hard on. Instead he had made it worse and he could have wanted that for all Zac knew.
He could have wanted him hard.
"It wasn't her," Zac lied so naturally. "Knew you were somewhere here watching and wanted to get you all jealous," he spoke as his head went into Harry's neck. Much like Candy's had been in his. "I really love it when you're jealous Harry," he muttered before leaving a tiny kiss on Harry's exposed skin.
Feeling the way Harry shivered at the contact.
"You love it when I'm jealous?" Harry asked softly his words making Zac move his head so he could see Harry again. "And why is that?" he questioned and Zac swore his eyes were darker now.
With lust but besides the lust Zac swore he saw a hint of something else. Something like sadness which he didn't like on Harry.
Harry had no reason to be sad.
"Because you fuck me so well," Zac spoke before leaning in to kiss Harry's neck again. Figuring Harry was okay enough since he let him.
He hadn't pushed Zac away so his sadness wasn't that bad, yet.
Harry let out a tiny laugh, "I'm not going to fuck you tonight," he said as his voice went low. Zac feeling his eyebrows furrow some at Harry's words.
His mouth opening to argue with Harry. Harry was obviously turned on so he didn't get why Harry wasn't going to fuck him but before he could even get a word in Harry was shaking his head. A finger coming to rest at Zac's lips to shush him effectively.
"Tonight I'm just going to suck your cock to punish you," Harry told him with a slight glare. "Then I'm going to make you sit back and watch as I jerk myself off."
Again Zac opened his mouth to argue but when Harry's glare got worse he thought better of it. Shutting it just as quickly as it had opened.
Knew there would be no use in changing Harry's mind. He wanted to punish Zac and so Zac would let him. He'd take his punishment like the grown man that he was.
It was deserved in the end. For more than what Harry even knew about.
"O..okay," Zac muttered out with a nod of his head. Watching the way Harry's face went soft at that.
All it took was Zac agreeing to his punishment and Harry had become putty.
Smirking Harry finally leaned in then, kissing Zac hard on the lips only briefly. Parting much sooner than what Zac would have liked.
"Let's ditch this place then," Harry told him as he slowly took Zac's hand in his. "Want to get you home and have my mouth around that pretty little cock of yours," he added on. His words making Zac moan and this time he didn't bother to stifle it.
Maybe he wanted people to know he was horny as fuck for the man leading him out of the club. The man who was going to take him home. Hopefully the man who'd be taking him home forever if Zac played his cards right.
Zac knowing even in the state he was in right now, playing his cards right meant telling Harry the truth at some point. Even if he dreaded it also.
Zac was almost asleep after things with Harry had calmed down. Both of them coming down from their post sex high if it could even be called post sex since there had been no actual penetration.
But it was a post something at least.
"Zac?" Harry spoke rousing him from the sleep he had almost achieved. Making him open his eyes to look into Harry's green ones. Surprised that Harry was even so wide awake still. "Can we go to counseling please?" he asked sounding so desperate.
His words making Zac's heartbreak even when Zac felt repulsed at the idea of going to counseling. Felt like they didn't need that.
They were fine.
Then again he was reminded of what Candy had said yesterday as well as Hayes and if they were as fine as he thought he probably wouldn't be cheating.
"This is what you want?" Zac asked not agreeing just yet. He wanted to know for sure if Harry was positive about this.
Harry nodded his head eagerly. His eyes never once leaving Zac's.
"I thought about it when we were in New York but was too afraid to say anything then but well after the last few days I think maybe it'd do us good. Just to give us added protection...and a way to communicate better."
Biting his lip Zac went silent briefly before letting out a long sigh. "Fine," he agreed watching the way Harry genuinely smiled. A dimple popping out as he did so.
Zac knowing he might not want it but if the thought of counseling made Harry this happy and it was what he wanted then he'd go.
He'd do anything to make Harry happy in the end. Except it seemed not cheat. He somehow couldn't do that lately.
Chapter 19: April 2017: Harry and Zac spotted leaving couples counseling. Was Harry really in tears?!!!(see pictures inside)
Excerpt: "Don't lie to me like you did about who you were on the phone with."
If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you
I think I might give up everything, just ask me to
Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half of me when we're apart
Now you know me, for your eyes only
For your eyes only-"If I Could Fly" by One Direction
"Are you going to ignore me all day now?" Zac asked after dinner as he and Harry sat on the couch watching some romantic comedy on Netflix that Harry had chosen.
Zac deciding he'd let Harry choose tonight since their first couples counseling session hadn't went that well at all. Zac having made everything worse by saying he blamed majority of their problems on Harry's busy schedule.
Though he knew his schedule was just as busy and therefore he was as much to blame as Harry was. In the end it had just been easier to lay blame on Harry.
Which of course had hurt Harry as Harry had shut down during the middle of the session after that. Crying every so often since and Zac hated himself. Knew he should have just kept his damn mouth shut and everything would have been okay. But he hadn't and now Harry was ignoring him.
Not the way Zac wanted to spend the night since Harry was leaving for New York tomorrow. Zac joining him a few days after because for once it seemed their jobs would have them in the same city at the same time.
None of them having to enforce a two week rule.
"Do you really think it's because of me that we're having problems?" Harry asked not answering Zac's question but maybe the fact that he was speaking was answer enough. "Because if you really feel that way, I'll give it up for you Zac," he admitted and his words shocked Zac.
Never had anyone said they'd give up their career for him and in the end he'd never ask anyone too. Not even Harry because Harry had been doing this before Zac came into his life and he'd probably continue once Zac was gone because Zac knew he'd be gone.
It was just a matter of when. When Harry realized he deserved better or when he found out that Zac was carelessly cheating on him and ruining any promises they had made, even now.
"No," Zac sighed as he shook his head. "I was just being a dick," he admitted truthfully knowing he could admit that at least.
He'd been a dick when he said what he had and he knew he was just as to blame as Harry was. They had both been too busy with work for each other.
"I just didn't want to take the blame either," Zac continued in Harry's silence. "Because I know my schedule was just as bad as yours," he shrugged as he ran a hand through his hair. Unable to look at Harry now because all he felt was extreme guilt.
Guilt for his words and guilt for what he was doing with Candy.
"Are you sure?" Harry questioned him sounding uncertain with what Zac had said. "Because if you do blame me Zac, I will end it all tomorrow just to fix us," he said and Zac hated the way Harry's voice cracked at the end.
Knew Harry was close to crying again and the last thing he wanted was Harry crying yet again. Wasn't sure his heart could take Harry crying again in the end.
Not with the way his heart felt like it was about to collapse under all the pressure building up.
"I'm positive," Zac told him as he finally looked back at Harry, forcing a smile. "So don't give up doing what you love just because I made a dumb ass comment," he told him as he reached out some and pulled Harry into him.
Zac just wanting to do his best to comfort Harry now that it seemed like he had broken him with his words. Something that seemed to be a trend right now for them. Zac breaking Harry with his words and actions for the past several months now.
Frowning when Harry broke down in tears again after he had him in his arms all Zac knew to do was kiss his forehead and just continue to hold him. Hope that all Harry needed now was a really good cry since Zac had tried to put him back together with words.
Tried to fix the wounds he had created on the man he loved so much. A man he knew in his gut he was going to be destined to lose eventually.
Whenever Harry wised up or knew the truth about how Zac was. That he'd ruined them by cheating and all his words he said were probably useless.
How could he mean them when he was still fucking Candy on the side? Had been with Candy just last night before she had taken off to Italy for some fashion show.
Though of course last night they hadn't done much. He'd just went down on her because she stated she hadn't been feeling well. Said she wasn't up for full on sex when she felt awful and so the oral sex had been a compromise.
"I love you," Zac spoke softly as he rubbed Harry's shoulder. "I love you so much," he said knowing something would have to give since he meant his words.
He meant them regardless of what he was doing with Candy who still taunted him. Saying if he loved Harry he wouldn't keep coming when she called.
So Candy could go fuck herself. Even if Zac knew in the end he'd be the one fucking her more than likely.
That just seemed to be what his body liked doing even if his heart loved Harry and his brain told him he was an idiot.
Sitting on the porch that night while Harry showered, Zac chewed his lip as he dialed Candy's number. Putting the phone to his ear as he waited for her to pick up.
Knew by now she was probably either in Italy or somewhere resting along the way and he also knew wherever she was she'd answer when he called because just like him she came running.
The both of them not loving each other but loving the weird push and pull chase they had going on with each other it seemed.
At least Zac thought that was the case. Candy never acted like she loved him even if she did have a tendency to get jealous of Harry which Zac found amusing and also wrong because Harry was his fiancee.
Candy was just the woman who got his dick wet for him. The woman he kept telling himself he was sleeping with to make sure she kept her silence and didn't tell Harry that he was cheating.
That by now he'd cheated more times than he could even count on one hand. Almost not able to count it on both hands....almost.
"Hello?" Candy asked after the fourth ring.
"I can't do this anymore," Zac said not even bothering with being nice. Just cutting right to the chase. "I can't keep cheating on Harry anymore."
"Well hello to you too then Zachary," Candy muttered her tone no longer neutral. "Is this your way of ending this affair? Over a damn phone call?" she asked like she was really surprised.
Zac wasn't sure why she would be? After all they had started in a damn club bathroom why not end in a phone call?
"It is," Zac nodded though he knew Candy couldn't see him. "I can't hurt Harry anymore. I love him Candy and I'm never going to love you and this...this is wrong."
Listening as the line went silent, Zac almost thought Candy had hung up. Almost except finally she sighed loudly and he knew she hadn't hung up. She was still on the other end.
He'd just left her speechless.
"You're going to regret this," Candy told him in a tone that made a shiver run down his spine and before he could ask what she meant the phone call did end then.
Zac moving his phone from his ear as he just looked at it skeptically. Wondering what Candy had meant but also maybe not wanting to know either.
Shaking his head he pocketed his phone and stood from the porch. Heading inside to get ready for bed as well and maybe just wanting to sleep beside Harry tonight since Harry was leaving for New York tomorrow.
Their last time sleeping beside each other until Zac made it to New York in a few days.
"Who were you talking too earlier?" Harry asked after Zac came out of the bathroom. "I heard you talking to someone on the porch but I couldn't hear what was being said."
Pausing Zac hoped the stress he felt wasn't visible as his brain looked for words. A lie that he could tell because again he wasn't going to tell the truth.
He couldn't tell Harry that he had called Candy to end an affair that they had been having.
"My mom called," Zac shrugged as he walked towards the bed where Harry was laying still. The book he had been reading in his hands as he just eyed Zac.
Zac wondering if he was deciding if he believed his words.
Harry only furrowed his brow as he laid his book down on the nightstand, "You talk to your mom that hateful?" he asked and Zac blushed because it seemed while Harry hadn't heard what was said he had heard the tone of Zac's voice.
"No," Zac sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, getting into bed beside Harry. "Obviously you know then it wasn't my mom," he admitted because he had been caught in that lie.
Couldn't keep it up now that Harry had sort of called him on it.
"Yeah, I guessed as much as soon as you lied," Harry retorted with a roll of his eyes as he shook his head. "So who was it and why did you lie to me?" he asked and there was an ounce of hurt in Harry's tone.
Zac hating himself because once again he had hurt Harry today.
"It was Candy," Zac spoke deciding to go with a partial truth. "She was drunk and just being a bitch," he said watching as Harry chewed on his lip. Zac hating the way Harry didn't look like he fully bought Zac's words.
But when Harry only shrugged after a bit, Zac knew then that Harry was just going to let things be even if he knew he was being lied to right now. Something Zac knew they'd probably talk about in their next counseling session.
Because he just had a feeling Harry was saving this information away for later. To use against Zac at a predetermined time in the future.
"You're lucky I'm too tired to argue," Harry muttered out as he moved to turn the light off. "And that I just want to spend my last night with you for a few days doing better things," he said as he moved in closer to Zac.
Zac letting out a small moan when Harry's hand went to rest on his thigh just below his boxer briefs.
"Better things?" Zac questioned deciding to play dumb. "What better things do you have in mind here Harold?" he asked teasingly another moan slipping past him as Harry's hand traveled up his thigh. Brushing ever so lightly across the crotch of his underwear.
His cock coming to life at the touch and it was a sad thought, Zac knew that but their relationship may have been dying but at least their sex life seemed to still be alive and well and maybe for now that could be enough until they fixed themselves.
"Want to show you how much I love you," Harry told him and his words made Zac's guilt worse. "Even if you don't love me," he stated softly, Zac wanting to ask him why he said that but he didn't.
Figured he knew why Harry had said it because how did it look to Harry that he was lying so easily.
"I do love you," Zac told him before moving in to kiss him on the lips. His eyes falling shut as Harry's hand ran over his crotch again and he bucked up into his touch.
His body wanting Harry and only Harry right now. Just like his heart would always want only Harry, never anyone else.
Harry only returned his kiss, pushing him back on his back farther as he found a way to get on top of Zac. Zac letting his mind shut down then. No longer wanting to think of anything or anyone but the man on top of him.
The man who wore his engagement ring on his hand.
Deepening the kiss Zac moved to turn them over so that he was the one on top. His hips moving down into Harry's which caused Harry to let out a moan into the kiss.
The sound of it doing nothing to kill the arousal that Zac felt. Instead it only seemed to spur him on and made him do it again.
Another moan leaving Harry and it was after that moan that Zac pulled away from the kiss. His hands going down to Harry's underwear which he slid off him, leaving Harry naked beneath him.
The sight of a naked Harry one that Zac knew he'd never tire of. Not really because did you ever tire of seeing the person you loved naked?
"Love you so much H," Zac whispered as his hand went between them, wrapping around Harry's length as he stroked him to full hardness. "Can I be the one to show you that?" he asked knowing Harry in the end had nothing to show.
He was the one who needed to show his love. Prove that he meant his words.
Harry nodded his head at Zac's words, staying silent and that was all the permission Zac needed. His hand falling away from Harry's cock as he moved to take his own boxer briefs off, leaving him just as naked as Harry was and he didn't miss the way Harry eyed him after.
Knew Harry still loved to see him naked too if the way he licked his lips was any indication of things.
Feeling a small blush rise up on his cheeks, Zac moved his hand down to get Harry prepped but Harry shook his head, his hand going to stop Zac.
"I got myself ready in the shower," Harry told him softly as they locked eyes. "I should still be good," he said and god the images of what Harry had done in the shower danced around in Zac's head. Making him wish he had been there to see it for himself.
Then again if he had been there he also couldn't have ended things with Candy and that needed to be done. Had to be done if he wanted to find a way to try to redeem himself slightly at least in his own eyes.
Nodding Zac leaned down again then to kiss Harry. Positioning himself just right at Harry's entrance before slowly pushing inside of him.
Both of them moaning out into the kiss once Zac was inside of Harry. Their bodies seeming to take over from there as they moved together then in slowl easy thrust. Neither it seemed wanting what was happening to end because once it ended it meant that tomorrow Harry would be leaving for New York and they'd be separated again for a brief period.
Zac not sure why he had a sinking feeling at that thought but he did.
Though he was doing his best to forget it as well. Letting his body continue to move with Harry's own body. His hand going back down between them as he once again stroked Harry's cock. His hand this time working in time with their thrusts.
Slow and lazy strokes that seemed to be doing a good job if Harry's louder moans were anything to go by.
It was only when Zac knew that Harry was getting close that he picked up his strokes with his hand as well as thrusting into Harry a bit harder. His lips slowly moving off of Harry's own as he kissed down onto his neck.
Zac smirking against Harry's skin when he finally came. His come coating Zac's hand while Zac's name repetitively left his lips like a sacred prayer. Though it wasn't long after that, that Zac followed him over the edge. His hips stilling as he came inside of Harry.
Pulling out slowly not long after and as he laid beside him he just caught his breath. Not sure yet if he was ready to get up to clean himself off and from the way Harry was laying there still too it seemed Harry was in the same boat.
That or maybe Harry's mind was off somewhere else. Zac wondering if tonight had been enough to show that despite everything he did love Harry.
He loved him and he knew he'd have to get serious about changing as well as starting to be honest. He just wasn't sure if he was ready to admit he had cheated for the past few months.
"Are you cheating on me?" Harry asked later that night after they were both cleaned up and back in bed. His question surprising Zac but honestly it shouldn't have.
Not after the conversation before they had sex.
"And please be honest," Harry added on as he turned to face Zac in the dark. "I just want the truth for once from you," he sighed and Zac could hear the heartbreak in his voice. "Don't lie to me like you did about who you were on the phone with."
Biting his lip Zac just fell silent, not sure how to answer Harry because he wasn't cheating anymore but he had cheated. Had been cheating up until tonight.
But his silence must have spoken for him because Harry just moved away from him. Zac watching as he sat up in their bed, a hand running through his hair.
"I'm not going to ask who it is," Harry stated softly as he shook his head. "But do you love them?" he asked and even in the dark Zac could see when Harry looked back down at him. "Do you love the person you're cheating with."
Sitting up as well, Zac shook his head, "I'm not cheating," he told Harry though even his voice wasn't believable to his own ears. "There isn't anyone else to love when I'm not cheating."
Harry seemed to fall silent at that Zac knowing Harry probably didn't believe him. Why would he? He hadn't given him reason too.
"I...I think I need to go sleep in the guest room," Harry finally spoke and Zac frowned watching and feeling Harry slip out of bed and Zac guessed he had his answer.
The sex had done nothing to prove how he felt for Harry and he was still a coward he couldn't tell the truth. He couldn't own up to cheating on Harry even when Harry had asked him for the truth.
Chapter 20: May 2017: Candy Fitzgerald is pregnant with first child! The shocking claim on who she says the father is(see inside for details)
Excerpt: "Oh Zac," Diana muttered out. "You sure have put yourself in a situation."
She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it, but I'm into it
I'm kind of into it
It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it
I think she said "I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"
"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business" (None of your, none of your)
"I'm having your baby, it's none of your business"
"I'm having your baby, it's none of your, it's none of your"-"Kiwi" by Harry Styles
Leaving the gym two days after Harry had left for New York, Zac looked down at his phone which seemed to be blowing up with texts and missed calls from almost everyone he knew.
Everyone but Harry anyway and he almost wondered why he was so popular. Why everyone wanted to get a hold of him right now.
Biting on his lip as he got inside of his car, he clicked a few of the top texts. Ones from Georgie.
Please tell me what I saw on TMZ isn't true Zachary. I swear to god if it is I'm going to kill you.
I haven't been able to get a hold of Harry. I swear if he has done something stupid because of you I will kill you too.
Raising his eyebrow Zac couldn't help but wonder what was on TMZ that would make Georgie send those texts to him. That would make her want to kill him and make her assume that Harry could have done something stupid. But before he could text her back a text from his mom came through that made him swallow hard because his mom very rarely texted him.
Zac couldn't help but take a deep breath before clicking on the text from his mom. A part of him swearing his heart stopped when he read what she had sent him.
I had to find out from a gossip website that I am going to be a grandma Zachary Walker Hanson?!!? Not to mention the world now knows you cheated on Harry with someone else.
Taking another deep breath Zac clicked to call his mom. Knowing he'd rather ask her about her text than try Georgie right now.
Figured while his mom sounded disappointed she wouldn't yell at him...at least too badly anyway. She never had yelled at him before when he fucked up his life.
"Zac?" Diana asked after the second ring and Zac found himself needing to take another breath before speaking.
"Yeah, it's me mom," Zac nodded though he knew his mom couldn't see his nod. "What...what do you mean you're going to be a grandma?" he questioned though he had a sinking feeling from her text and Georgie's combined what was going on.
It was something he didn't like at all and he almost wished he could find a way to erase the last few months. Erase himself ever meeting Candy and being stupid enough to give into temptation when he had been weak and worried about things with Harry.
"Haven't you seen the article on TMZ or even People Magazine's website?" Diana questioned sounding confused. "Didn't Candy or her people get in contact with you or your people before she revealed the news?"
Again Zac shook his head, "No, I haven't seen any of it nor have I heard from Candy in days," he sighed hating that he revealed to his mom in a way that he had cheated on Harry but of course she knew that from whatever Candy had done today.
Everyone apparently knew that and he was almost afraid to be out in public too long. Didn't want people to see him and whisper behind his back while he was right there to hear them.
Diana let out a sigh and Zac could almost picture her face. Like she was disappointed or judging. Though he suspected this time it wasn't him she was disappointed in or judging. This time it was all Candy.
"Candy is pregnant Zac. TMZ got the story first and then People revealed it as well and she is saying the baby is yours. That you and her have been involved since February and that the pregnancy while a shock is good news. That you two can be a family with your baby."
At his mom's words Zac swore for the second time today his heart had stopped. His head falling against his steering wheel as he closed his eyes. Not even sure what to say or how to react right now.
While he had suspected Candy was pregnant and had revealed their affair he couldn't believe she was saying with certainty he was the father of her baby or that this was even good news.
How could it be good news?
Zac didn't want to be with Candy and he wasn't sure her baby was his. Not as certain as she seemed to sound in her announcement today.
An announcement she clearly didn't think he needed to know in advance.
"Are you the father of her baby Zac?" Diana asked breaking the silence that Zac had created, her voice full of as much doubt as Zac felt about everything.
"I don't know if I am," Zac spoke softly. "I mean I could be but I'm not certain especially since she didn't feel the need to tell me before she told the rest of the world."
"Oh Zac," Diana muttered out. "You sure have put yourself in a situation."
"I know," Zac said because he did know. "Harry didn't even...he didn't even know I was cheating on him until today," he frowned though deep down he knew Harry had suspected it.
Harry had after all called him out for it the day he left for New York. Something Zac had denied when he had been given every chance then and there to just tell the truth to the man he loved and now Harry knew the awful truth.
Harry knew he had cheated with Candy and that Candy was pregnant with a baby she claimed was his and now Zac almost didn't want to catch his flight to New York tomorrow. Didn't want to have to go to the condo he shared with Harry and face him.
Hell maybe he wouldn't have too. Maybe Harry had changed the locks already or maybe Harry would contact him later today and tell him to just get his shit and go to a hotel.
"Well, what you need to do right now is get in contact with Candy. Meet with her and talk about that baby Zac," Diana said once again breaking the silence. "Then after that find yourself a lawyer, a good one and demand a paternity test. After that if it's your baby then you two are going to have to figure something out."
Frowning Zac hated that his mom was right. Hated that he would have to get in contact with Candy when all he wanted right now was to get in contact with Harry.
But if there was a chance the baby was his then he guessed that came first. His potential flesh and blood would have to come first for now.
Then maybe after he confronted Candy and found a lawyer he could call Harry. Explain things to him as best he could.
Heaving a sigh Zac lifted his head from the steering wheel. The conversation with his mom not lasting much longer and after it was done he soon found Candy's name in his phone. Knew they needed to talk and set up a time to get together because this conversation would be better face to face.
Which was why he hoped she was in LA. She could just come to his house but if she wasn't the they could surely Skype and she could give him answers that way.
Just like he'd tell her he wanted a DNA test. That he was going to get a lawyer and take it to court because he knew she'd fight him on it.
If she was already saying her baby was his she'd definitely fight him on getting a DNA test.
Sitting on his couch Zac nervously kept his gaze on the clock. Counting down the minutes until Candy should have been coming by because lucky for him she was in LA. Had supposedly gotten in this morning and so of course she had agreed to meet up.
Zac having hated the thrilled tone in her voice when he asked to see her. A tone that only got worse when he asked for it to be here at his house but there was no way he was going to do this in public.
Wouldn't put it past her not to call the paparazzi. Then again she could still do that, call them so they could take pictures of her coming inside Zac's house.
Pictures that would be splashed all over every gossip site within hours and if she did that he'd just take it. He'd have too until after this meeting anyway because he'd already made up his mind.
Once this meeting was over he was going to call a lawyer and then he was going to call his own people. Have them put out a statement that he wasn't sure at the moment if he was the father of Candy's baby and that a DNA test would be conducted hopefully before she gave birth.
Though Zac could see her holding off until after. She was that much of a bitch.
Hearing the doorbell ring, Zac stood up as he took a deep breath and went to answer the door. Hating the way that his nerves were eating him alive.
This was just a meeting to talk about the baby that Candy was pregnant with. A baby that she claimed was his though he wasn't so sure it was his baby.
He knew there was no way she had just been with him and only him and he doubted the other men she had been with had used protection. They had probably been as dumb as he had.
Making it to the door Zac opened it and he forced a smile as he looked at Candy. The woman not even waiting for him to ask her to come inside. She just barged in like she owned the place and she didn't.
This was still for now his and Harry's house. Though Zac had a feeling it wouldn't be their house for much longer. One or both of them would move out when they broke up.
The break up seeming almost inevitable right now.
"So you wanted to meet?" Candy asked as she headed towards the living room. Zac following after her after he had shut the door. "I'm guessing it's about the announcement I made today."
"It is," Zac confirmed as he watched Candy take a seat on the couch which prompted Zac to sit in the chair. "How could you not tell me about this, especially if you think the baby is mine?" he asked her with a raised eyebrow. "I think I deserved to know."
Candy only laughed slightly, "Why? So you could warn Harry about your little mess up beforehand?" she asked him her voice full of scorn. "No, you deserved this after the way you ended things with me," she told him and Zac went back to to that night and how she had told him he'd regret what he'd done.
How he ended things and now it seemed to make sense. She had known then she was pregnant and she had just decided to use her baby against him.
"Is it even mine?" Zac asked her his tone becoming as scornful as hers had been.
"Of course it is," Candy told him as she locked eyes with him and Zac hated how sure she looked. "It's your baby and I hope for it's sake we can both get along by the time it's born."
Zac rolled his eyes at her words, "Well, if you're so certain then you won't mind me asking for a DNA test then?" he questioned watching the way she didn't even break eye contact as he spoke. "Because I'm going to get one. I plan on hiring a lawyer and taking you to court for a DNA test. Hopefully before the baby is even born so if it isn't my child then you can find the real father before it's born."
"You are the real father," Candy sighed with a shake of her head, finally breaking eye contact with him. "But do as you please. The baby is only going to be the one suffering because you refuse to even try to bond with it while it's in the womb," she said and Zac knew from her tone she was trying to make him feel guilty.
She was doing her best to get under his skin.
Before Zac could say anything to her though both of them fell silent as they heard the front door open again and Zac swallowed hard as he heard footsteps he knew well thanks to the damn boots that Harry loved to wear.
But he wasn't sure what Harry was doing home now. He wasn't supposed to be home now. He was still supposed to be in New York.
For the third time that day Zac was sure he felt his heart stop when Harry showed up in the doorway of the living room. Confirming that he was home early and god did he look like a mess. His hair every which way like he had been constantly running his hands through it and his eyes puffy and red.
Letting Zac know he had been crying. A fact that made Zac feel horrible because he knew it was his fault that Harry had been crying.
"Well, what a lovely surprise," Candy spoke with a smirk on her face and Zac watched the way Harry's nostrils flared slightly as Candy spoke.
Though Harry didn't say anything, all he did was set his suitcase down beside where he stood.
"Too bad I can't stick around though. I need to head back to my hotel. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to make sure everything is okay with the baby and then I'm going to look at houses," she said as she stood up. "Figured I should live near the father of my child," she added on as she gave one last glance at Zac before turning on her heel and leaving the room.
Walking past Harry like she hadn't just wrecked his world as well and after she was gone Zac looked at Harry again. Not even sure what to say.
Not sure how to start this conversation. The silence in the room slowly killing him now.
Chapter 21: May 2017: Zac Hanson Demanding DNA Test from Candy Fitzgerald(click link to read full article)
Excerpt: "She's pregnant and she's not showing so it couldn't have been the only time so it's been going on since Valentine's day. It's still going on."
Brooklyn saw me, empty at the news
There's no water inside this swimming pool
Almost over, had enough from you
And I've been praying, I never did before
Understand I'm talking to the walls
I've been praying ever since New York-"Ever Since New York" by Harry Styles
Zac opened his mouth to finally speak up and say something, say anything but he found that he couldn't. No words would come out of his mouth as he just watched Harry who was standing there looking at him.
"Don't even try to feed me an excuse," Harry spoke and at least one of them could. "I don't really want to hear whatever lie you'd tell me about why Candy was here in our house."
Swallowing hard Zac ran a hand through his hair, "It wouldn't have been a lie. I would have told you the truth that she was here so we could discuss her pregnancy. Decide what to do about stuff."
"How do I know you aren't lying?" Harry asked as he finally moved, stepping farther into the room. "That's all you've been doing for a while now isn't it?" he asked his voice going harsh. "You've been lying to me like a damn fool."
"I'm not lying now," Zac told him with a frown knowing he deserved the anger Harry had and was taking out on him but it still hurt.
It hurt and he wasn't sure he wanted it to last too long though he knew it would. There was no way this could be resolved in just hours or minutes. This would take time, a lot of time. If they could even resolve it at all.
"How nice of you then," Harry sneered as he crossed his arms over his chance. "Choosing now to be honest about something."
Looking down Zac fell silent because what could he say to that? What could he say to anything Harry was saying?
There were no excuses he could give. He was a piece of shit and he'd lied and now Harry knew it. The dirty truth was out there and laid bare for him and all the world really thanks to the pregnancy announcement which had named him as the father of Candy's baby.
"How long?" Harry asked making Zac look up at him in confusion. "How long were you fucking Candy behind my back?" he asked getting more in depth with his question.
Obviously he had read the confusion on Zac's face.
Zac swallowed hard at that question, not sure if he wanted to answer it. Then again didn't he owe Harry the honesty?
"Are you sure you want to know?" Zac asked him his voice breaking as a lump formed in his throat.
"I asked didn't I Zachary?" Harry asked though it sounded more like a statement. "Tell me the truth for once will you. How long were you playing me for a fool?"
"Since Valentine's Day," Zac admitted his voice cracking again and he was doing his best not to cry. He didn't deserve to cry after everything he had done to Harry.
If any of them should be crying it was Harry and so far he wasn't. He'd probably done all his crying before coming home and now he was acting like a brick in front of Zac. Hiding his emotions away from Zac so that Zac wouldn't see them.
All Zac saw was his anger. Anger that was rightly deserved.
Harry furrowed his brows, now looking confused himself. "But that was the day I showed up in New York..." he started then seemed to stop as clarity hit him. "That night. That's why you came home late. It wasn't because of a late shoot was it?" he questioned and again his words sounded more like a statement then a question.
"No," Zac said with a shake of his head. "That was the first time I slept with Candy. I thought...you hadn't talked to me that day and I thought you weren't serious when you said you wanted to fix us."
"And what, you decided fucking someone else would help us along in being fixed?!" Harry asked him his voice raising and Zac wasn't sure he'd ever heard Harry be that loud before.
Not even during sex.
Shaking his head Zac did his best to swallow around the lump in his throat, "No," he sighed having to look away from Harry's gaze. "She was just there when I was down in misery and I gave into temptation."
"But that wasn't the only time?" Harry asked him and Zac really wished he'd stop wording his questions like statements. "She's pregnant and she's not showing so it couldn't have been the only time so it's been going on since Valentine's day. It's still going on."
"It's not," Zac denied as he shook his head. "I ended things over a phone call with her. The one you overheard before you left."
"The one which you lied to me about," Harry sighed as he shook his head, moving his hands to rub them down his face and for the first time that night Zac noted how exhausted Harry looked. "I asked you then to be honest and tell me if you were cheating and you chose to keep lying."
"I'm sorry," Zac apologized and he knew Harry probably didn't believe him. He wouldn't have believed himself. "I was chickenshit okay. I was scared of losing you."
Harry snorted a laugh as he shook his head, "You don't give a shit about losing me Zac," he told him so plainly. "If you did you wouldn't have even cheated in the first place."
"That's not true," Zac stated almost defiantly as he stood up from the couch. "I love you and I didn't want to lose you," he argued knowing he probably shouldn't.
He was the one who had done wrong and he had no right to argue. Even if he was arguing his case.
"Love, yeah sure you loved me enough to cheat on me for months and keep it from. If you loved me you would have told me the truth even if you were afraid to lose me," Harry told him and it was then that Zac saw the tears coming down Harry's cheeks.
The wall that Harry put up had finally crumbled.
Walking towards Harry, Zac frowned when Harry moved away from him putting his hand up. "Don't," he told Zac with a shake of his head. "I don't want you to even touch me right now."
Letting his frown deepen Zac finally let himself cry now. "Then what can I do?" he asked though he felt like he already knew there was nothing.
He couldn't fix what he had done.
"I don't know," Harry told him sort of saying what Zac knew. There was nothing he could do now, he had screwed everything up and now he was going to lose Harry. "Right now I just need to be alone. Can I have that please?"
Zac nodded his head as he just cried a bit harder, sitting down on the couch as he watched Harry turn and walk upstairs. His heart feeling like it was breaking as Harry walked away from him.
He fully expected by the time that Harry came back or that he went upstairs to check on him that Harry would ask him to leave or maybe Harry himself was upstairs packing to leave even if some of his suitcases were still down here. He had lots more upstairs and he could put stuff in them.
After a few hours of trying to watch TV or even read some of the books that were on the bookshelf downstairs, Zac stood from the couch and headed upstairs. He wanted to check on Harry and make sure he was okay.
Hoping that the other man was ready to see him because Zac needed to see him. Just to know that he was still here for now and that he hadn't left even if he was getting ready to leave.
Taking a deep breath, Zac slowly walked up the stairs and once he reached the top he headed to the bedroom he shared with Harry. Surprised to see Harry sitting up on the bed and just looking down at his engagement ring. Zac surprised that he was still wearing the ring.
He figured Harry would have taken it off at some point today.
Harry must have sensed his presence because he finally looked up at Zac and Zac swore his heart shattered at how hurt Harry looked. Zac hated the fact that he had caused that.
He'd caused Harry to hurt that much that he looked like a wounded animal.
"You know," Harry started as he let out a small sob. "The whole flight here I was hoping it was all a lie. That you hadn't cheated and Candy wasn't pregnant with your baby, I mean I know how the media lies but the minute I stepped inside our living room and saw her there I knew it was true. You'd cheated and the baby is yours."
Zac had to stop himself from saying that he wasn't sure the baby was his, knowing Harry probably wouldn't take that well. It wasn't the time to argue over a thing like that or even to defend himself.
He had screwed up and he needed to accept it.
"I'm sorry Harry."
"So am I," Harry sighed as he shook his head blinking back tears. "I'm sorry I fell in love with you," he stated and his words hurt Zac like a knife.
Swallowing hard Zac walked farther into the bedroom, "Are we...is this that your way of saying we're over?" he asked hating the way his heartbeat was all out of sorts.
"I don't know what I want to do honestly," Harry admitted softly as he ran a hand through his hair. "I should end things and find someone who actually deserves me but at the same time as fucked up as it is I love you as well even though I don't really want to see you or even touch you at all."
"So then what do we do?" Zac questioned with a raised eyebrow. "We can't just live in limbo forever."
"I know that Zachary," Harry spoke sounding agitated with him. "But thanks to you things are confusing and I'm conflicted. I think what would be best is if you spent the night somewhere else. I just..I need a few hours to myself still. More than what you gave me."
Again Zac swallowed hard but he didn't say anything. He just nodded his head as he wordlessly turned on his heel deciding then he was going to call Taylor and see if he could crash there for tonight or even longer if Harry decided one night wasn't enough.
Zac hoping that somehow they could come through this thing in tact but he wasn't sure they could. He was sure they were done, neither was willing to say the words out loud though and make it final.
Chapter 22: June 2017: Harry and Zac leave club looking loved up. Are they on the track to fixing their relationship?
Excerpt: "Ask him yourself Zachary," she told him plainly before letting go of his hand and getting off the bed, leaving Zac alone and he just pouted up at her. "Also please shower because you stink and I'm having company over for lunch soon."
I'm the first to admit that I'm reckless
I get lost in your beauty and I can't see two feet in front of me
And I know in my heart, you’re just a moving part
And yeah I’ve let you use me from that day that we first met
But I'm not done yet
Falling for you
And I knew that you turn it on for everyone you met
But I don't regret
Falling for you
Fool’s gold-"Fools Gold" by One Direction
Waking up as the sun came through his room Zac let out a groan as he covered his eyes with his arm. It was far too sunny outside and the sun was making his head hurt.
"Oh quit your whining," a voice spoke from the doorway of his room and Zac moved his arm as he opened one eye to see Georgie standing in the doorway, a small smirk on her face. "You wouldn't be whining if you hadn't gotten completely wasted last night at the club."
Glaring playfully Zac sat up in bed in a room that had once been his, before he'd moved in with Harry to the house they had bought together. A house that Harry had been occupying for the last three weeks by himself because he still refused to let Zac come home. Still refused to even talk to him really.
"I wouldn't have gotten drunk if I hadn't wanted to forget those pictures of Harry out with that mystery brunette male," Zac retorted watching as Georgie came farther into the bedroom. "Is he really seeing that guy like the tabloid magazines all say George?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Hating the way the idea of Harry moving on and not telling him hurt. In reality Zac knew he deserved it if Harry left him in limbo, never telling him that he was ready to break up and just went ahead and found someone new.
Hell he'd even deserve it if Harry got himself a side piece. After what he had done he'd deserve all the bad things Harry would do to him.
Georgie shrugged her shoulders as she sat down on the end of Zac's bed, "You could just ask Harry yourself instead of me."
Glaring playfully again Zac ran a hand through his hair, "Remind me again why I left the safety of Taylor's house to be your roommate again?" he asked teasingly.
Though he knew the reason why he'd left Taylor's was because Taylor had it seemed moved on from Georgie and gotten a new girl that he was bedding regularly. Some redhead named Gillian and Zac had gotten tired of constantly seeing them making out.
It had hit him in the feels when his heart was already broken.
"Because you got tired of seeing him and Gillian sucking face," Georgie said reminding him of exactly why he had left Taylor's house and Zac was surprised at how easy she had said those words.
"Aren't you upset that Taylor has moved on?" Zac questioned her as he raised an eyebrow.
"No," Georgie said shaking her head. "Taylor and I had been on the outs for so long even before we broke up that I think it was time for him to move on. You'd have known that if you had talked to me more like the best friend you always claim you are."
"I am your friend," Zac replied with a blush though deep down he knew why Georgie was saying what she was. "You're one of the only people I can ever rely on George."
Georgie shook her head again, "Really? Because it seems you shut me out during your affair with Candy as well. You couldn't even talk to me about the issues you were having with Harry."
Going silent Zac looked away from Georgie as his blush grew and he hated that she was right. He'd never once confided in her at all before he'd cheated or after he'd cheated.
"Because I knew you'd hate me," Zac told her honestly. "That and I was afraid you'd kick me out of your life and chose Harry to keep around."
"Yet here you are in my apartment and the truth is out," Georgie retorted with an eye roll and Zac knew she was fed up with him.
Truth be told some days he was fed up with himself now too.
"I wouldn't have picked a side," Georgie continued in Zac's silence. "Even if I think what you did and why you did it was dumb and I think Harry should break up with you and find someone better," she added on and it was then that Zac looked up at her and he knew from the look on her face she was being honest.
She thought Harry should put him to the side and start over.
"Sometimes I think he should do that too which is why I want to know if he has with that guy he was spotted with," Zac sighed as he moved a bit closer to Georgie then. Resting his head on her shoulder. "Can you please tell me and save me the heartache of having to hear it from Harry."
Georgie let out her own sigh as she took Zac's hand in her own, giving it a squeeze.
"Ask him yourself Zachary," she told him plainly before letting go of his hand and getting off the bed, leaving Zac alone and he just pouted up at her. "Also please shower because you stink and I'm having company over for lunch soon."
"Company?" Zac questioned as he finally moved from the bed. "Don't tell me you too have found someone else and are going to subject me to gross make out sessions and stuff."
Georgie laughed as she shook her head. "No, it's just a friend I made on the road. A girl named Delaney. She recently moved to LA and we've been texting and made plans for a girls day," she spoke and Zac curled his lip up in disgust something Georgie must have read because she laughed even harder.
"Don't worry Zac," she muttered with a shake of her head. "Tonight we're going out to the bar so you know there will be some manly things too and you can forget all about your drama with dear lovable Harry who deserves better than you."
"Funny," Zac retorted as he moved to get his clothes together. "Real funny George," he added on after he had his clothes in hand and walked towards the door. "You should get an award for that one."
"I should, shouldn't I?" she asked him teasingly and all Zac did was stick his tongue out at her before leaving the room to go and shower.
Laughing for the first time in weeks Zac couldn't help but smile as he danced on the club's dance floor with both Georgie and Delaney. All three of them sober as could be. Zac having wanted to try the night sober for once.
After all he didn't want to wake up two days in a row with a headache. One day was enough for him at least for this week.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Georgie spoke trying to be louder than the music. "Please be nice to Delaney while I am away."
"I'll be a gentleman," Zac retorted watching Georgie roll her eyes.
"Not too much of one, we don't need you having two potential baby mamas," Georgie hissed as she leaned just a bit closer to him. Her words being meant only for him now and a small tiny part of him did wish he were drunk right now.
"Trust me I know better," Zac told Georgie and if Georgie didn't believe his words she didn't show it. Instead she pushed her way through the crowd to go to the bathroom.
After she was gone Zac turned to Delaney with a smile and the blonde returned his smile too.
"Don't worry," Delaney said with a shake of her head. "I don't intend to try to sleep with you and make your life worse," she told him letting him know that whether Georgie had wanted her to overhear what she said that she had heard it.
She'd heard it and she was letting him know that she was safe. She wasn't going to come onto him and try to sleep with him like Candy had.
"That's good to know," Zac smiled as he moved a bit closer to her now. Finally feeling like he could let his guard down some and not have to worry about messing up again because if Delaney came onto him he wasn't sure he'd be able to say no.
He was a weak willed man and it was something he'd have to work on. He'd have to learn to be better and not give into temptation if he wanted to fix the mess he had created with Harry.
It was after that thought that both he and Delaney heard someone near them clear their throat and as they turned to face them, Zac raised an eyebrow wondering if his thoughts of Harry had somehow summoned him because here he stood in front of them. Not looking pleased at the situation.
"Harry," he stated as whatever good feeling he had before Harry showed up left him. A small tiny part of him knowing this probably didn't look good.
Especially to the boy he had cheated on for months and lied too.
"Nice to see you as well," Harry said his voice almost cold. "And I see you have a new friend," he stated as his eyes turned to Delaney and if looks could kill the poor girl would be dead. "Does Georgie know the friend she made on the road is your newest conquest?" he asked bluntly and his words made Zac hurt as well as feel bad for Delaney.
Delaney was the one who spoke first after Harry's words, "It's not like that," she told him with a frown. "Georgie is here she just left us long enough to go to the bathroom," she said telling the truth.
Though Zac knew from the look on Harry's face he didn't believe her and Zac hated knowing this was because of him. Harry not trusting him dancing with a female especially a blonde good looking female was because of him.
He'd ruined Harry's ability to trust just like Hayes had once ruined his and if Harry did move on one day Zac could only hope that he didn't repeat the cycle.
"And you could be lying to me," Harry retorted his glare towards Delaney getting worse. "Wouldn't be the first time a woman sleeping with my fiance has lied to me about things."
At Harry's words Zac had to bite his tongue to even ask if Harry was sure if Zac was still his fiance as well as to keep from reminding him about the pictures that got out just yesterday of him with that mystery man.
Apparently Harry could hang out with people and do god knew what but Zac wasn't allowed that after his mess up anymore. He wasn't allowed to have friends of the opposite sex and deep down he knew it was because Harry rightly didn't trust him but it still pissed him off.
Before Zac or Delaney could say anything though by the grace of God it seemed Georgie showed up a confused look on her face, a confusion that only grew when she saw the deadly look on Harry's face.
"Harold?" Georgie asked using her nickname for Harry despite his name not even being Harold. "Why in god's name are you looking at Delaney like you want her taken out by a hit man as soon as possible?"
Harry only let out a sigh almost deflating after Georgie spoke, like he realized how irrational he had been.
That or Georgie's appearance let him know that Delaney had been telling the truth. Nothing had been going on between them when Harry had shown up here.
"I thought Delaney and Zac were...hooking up," Harry admitted his voice small and shameful now and Zac had to look away, hating the fact that in the end this was all his fault too. He was responsible for Harry jumping to conclusions so easily now.
Georgie nodded her head as it seemed realization hit her and Zac saw the tiny glare she sent his way.
"Well as you can see they aren't, otherwise I wouldn't be out here with them because I wouldn't condone that since Zac is still in a relationship with you. But speaking of that I think it's best if Delaney and I left you two alone and maybe it'd be even better if you two left this club and went to talk at your house."
Zac was surprised when it was Harry who opened his mouth to object but before he could get a word in Georgie was shaking her head no, her glare now settled on Harry.
"No Harold," Georgie spoke sounding firm. "You two need to talk and stop hiding from whatever big conversations you need to have and I'm not going to let Zac come home tonight until you two talk so the ball is in your court now," she told him before taking Delaney by the arm and pushing their way through the crowd.
Leaving Zac and Harry alone, the both of them eventually staring at each other silently as a weird tension settled between them.
Sighing, Zac decided he'd be the one to break the silence. "George is right," he said as he moved closer to Harry. "We should talk about things."
Harry stared at Zac for a bit too long, Zac almost afraid that he'd say no. Tell Zac it was childish and Zac prayed that he didn't because Zac wanted to talk.
He needed answers about where they stood and if Harry loved him enough to want to live with him again. Because if they couldn't even live together or talk about things then they may as well just call everything quits.
"Fine," Harry agreed reluctantly with a nod of his head. "But we're taking separate cars."
"Okay," Zac agreed because at this point he would have agreed to anything if it meant just talking about things.
After he had said that Harry turned on his heels and Zac followed him as they made their way through the crowd and then out of the club. The only time he had stopped following Harry was when he made his way to his car and at least for once he was thankful that he and Georgie had came to the club in different cars as well.
Made it easier to head to Harry's house..or their house...if it was still their house. He wouldn't have to feel guilty for leaving Delaney and Georgie behind.
Zac chewed on his lip as he looked at Harry, the both of them sitting on the couch awkwardly. A place they had been sitting for twenty minutes now. Ever since they had came inside and he wasn't sure why he was surprised that they weren't talking.
Neither of them speaking up to start the conversation. A conversation that Zac had hoped Harry would start even if Harry was as hesitant to have this talk as he was. But Harry was better at starting this kind of talk or at least he had been.
He had been better at it before Zac broke him.
"I still love you," Zac spoke up and once again he decided that he'd be the one to break the silence. "I know I messed up but I still love you so fucking much Harry and this..whatever is going on between us is killing me."
"What's going on between us is that I love you but I don't know if I believe it when you say you love me. I also want to be with you but then again at the same time the sight of you makes me sick as well because all I can picture is what it would be like when you were fucking Candy."
Frowning at Harry's words Zac wanted so badly to say something, anything but he didn't.
"I even tried to fuck someone else a few days ago. The guy from the pictures," Harry continued when Zac's silence stretched on. "But I couldn't because I didn't want to be like you. I didn't want to do something while our relationship was in a fragile state. I knew it wouldn't fix things."
Swallowing Zac sighed as he moved closer to Harry. "You should have," he told him with a sad smile. "I would have deserved it if you did."
"You would have," Harry agreed as he turned to look at Zac returning his sad smile with one of his own. "But I couldn't do that."
"So then what do we do now?" Zac asked with a raised eyebrow. "Stay in limbo forever?"
"No," Harry sighed reluctantly. "I think we should see that counselor again. Maybe they will have answers for us. Something to help us fix us because I don't want to lose you Zac."
Before Zac could reply back that he loved Harry though, Harry's lips were on his in a desperate kiss. Harry obviously searching for something and as Zac kissed him back he hoped that Harry found whatever he was looking for.
A hope that continued as Harry pushed him back against the couch, undressing him in a hurry as well as himself and once they were both nude Zac looked up at Harry wanting to frown at everything because while they were being intimate it felt rushed and off and not as romantic as he knew it could be.
But he didn't speak up and say anything. Instead he only closed his eyes when Harry eventually moved down on his cock. His hands going to rest on Harry's hips as Harry began to ride him in a fevered rush.
Zac knowing he was just using him but as sad as it was Zac would let him because he had missed this and even if it wasn't the sex they were used to having. Even if it was a loveless sex maybe it was a step in the right direction.
Then again maybe he was just in denial.
Chapter 23: August 2017: Sources say Harry and Zac are on the verge of breaking up
Excerpt: "If that is what you want," he told him not even fighting Harry.
Oh spaces between us
Keep getting deeper
It's harder to reach you
Even though I try
Spaces between us
Hold all our secrets
Leaving us speechless
And I don't know why
Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye?-"Spaces" by One Direction
Zac frowned as he looked down at his hands, sitting across from Harry at lunch after their second counseling session since trying to work things out after the truth of his cheating had been revealed.
So far things were still not going well and Zac swore that a bigger divide was being wedged between them. The only progress they had made was Zac being allowed to move back into their house but they weren't sharing a room. They hadn't even been intimate since the night at the club and when they weren't in counseling they rarely talked.
It was like they were two strangers sharing a home and waiting on the other person to call everything quits. So neither would feel guilty about it.
Though Zac knew even if that was the case he didn't want to be the one to end things because deep down he swore they had something salvageable.
Then again maybe he was just hoping they did because he still loved Harry and besides this rough patch he wanted to stay with him. Wanted to find a way out and so he refused to be the first one to call everything quits.
"You okay?" Harry asked his voice bringing Zac out of his thoughts as well as surprising him. It had been so long since Harry had started a conversation that it was enough to throw Zac off.
Biting his lip Zac thought about lying, telling Harry that he was okay but he wasn't sure he could do that. Lying after all had gotten them to where they were now.
Lying was the reason why they were like total strangers instead of the two men who had fallen in love with each other.
"No, I'm not okay," Zac said finally as he took a bite of his food, wanting something to distract himself before even saying the rest of the words he needed to say. As well as maybe hoping Harry would ask him why he wasn't instead of expecting Zac to just tell him.
That was how conversations worked and it seemed right now they were having one or trying to have one.
Harry let out a small sigh as he eyed Zac, "And why aren't you okay?" he questioned him sounding almost bitter. "We just spent our second time in therapy were accused me of being cold and unaffectionate since trying to work things out. Shouldn't I be the one who isn't okay?"
Zac rolled his eyes at Harry's words, "No, you have every right to be upset about that but what I said was true. You say you want to try but you aren't really trying. You won't start conversations with me and at home we do our best to avoid each other as much as possible and maybe that is what is wrong with me. Thinking of how much we act like strangers now."
"How am I supposed to act Zachary?" Harry asked him after he had taken a bite of his own food and Zac swore he hated the way Harry called him that.
Maybe some other time he would have loved it but now, well, now it just made him cringe because Harry didn't say it in a nice way. He'd said it all mocking and hurtful.
"You cheated on me and I'm sorry I'm not past that yet. Every time I think I could be I get reminded again and again that you cheated and that the woman you cheated with could be carrying your baby. Probably is carrying your baby and all I want to talk about then is your cheating and I know we'll just argue which isn't healthy for us. So I'm sorry for doing both of us a favor."
Taking a few more bites of his food Zac just looked away from Harry as he tried to formulate a response to him. Not liking any of the responses his brain came up with.
"If that's how it is then why don't you just end things?" Zac asked though it came out more like a statement and it wasn't the words he wanted to say but he said them anyway.
Why stay together if all he thought about were the bad things? Why even try when it seemed like trying wasn't helping or that he wasn't even trying to move on from the past.
"Sometimes I think it would be easier if I did," Harry spoke and while Zac wasn't surprised by his words they did hurt. They hurt enough that he felt like he'd been kicked in the gut and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes.
Tears that he wasn't going to let come out. This wasn't the place to breakdown crying, where everyone could see him and he didn't want to let Harry see it either. Didn't want Harry to know that it felt like he had just killed him a little on the inside.
"I think I need to go for a bit," Zac said as he reached for his wallet to get his part of the tab and the tip out. "Just need to drive around and clear my head," he continued not caring that maybe he was rambling. It was what he did when his anxiety was acting up and boy was it now after Harry had said what he did. "Guess we made a good decision today by driving separate cars huh?" he added on sarcastically as he stood up after his money was out. "Though I guess the reason we took separate cars was because you can't even stand to be in a car with me without being reminded that I am a horrible person."
"Zac.." Harry started but Zac shook his head to stop him.
"Don't," Zac told him with a sigh. "You said what you said and you meant it. I need time to process that and I think you do as well," he told him and after saying that he turned to leave the restaurant they had been eating in.
A small tiny part of him wanting to look back but knowing if he did he'd just run back and apologize for everything that happened and he couldn't do that. Not when he knew this conversation had been the realest one they had in weeks and now they both had to process what had been said and decide where they went from there.
If they even went anywhere. Maybe this was the end for them.
Getting to his car Zac got inside and started it up. Not even sure where he was going but knowing he needed to drive. Just needed to forget for a while how fucked up everything was and that he was losing the one relationship that he had hoped to keep and in the end it was his fault. If only he hadn't cheated.
But it was too late for that regret. Much too late.
"Can you say something? Anything?" Zac asked as he sat next to Taylor on Taylor's couch, now second guessing why he had come to his brother when he probably should have went to Georgie for advice after lunch with Harry.
Georgie would have been the best even if she sided with Harry or agreed that maybe they needed to break up. Hell Jessica or Avery would have been good too. At least one of them would have said something and not left him in silence for what felt like ten minutes after spilling his guts to them.
"What do you want me to say Zac?" Taylor retorted with a raised eyebrow. "We both know I am not good at this comforting people stuff. It's more than likely why Georgie got fed up with me and ended things for good with me."
"And this is why the girl you are involved with now will end things too," Zac teased him with a roll of his eyes.
"Actually she already has," Taylor revealed and the news shocked Zac. Then again everything seemed to shock Zac when it came to other people because lately it seemed he was wrapped up in his own drama and ended up missing out on the lives of people he swore he loved.
He knew it wasn't healthy and maybe it was another sign that he and Harry should end it all. Just so he could find some peace and reconnect with people and who knew? Maybe once he found some peace and found himself again, he'd be able to get Harry back. Then again maybe by then it'd be too late.
It wasn't like he expected Harry to stay single if they broke up. Harry was attractive and he was sure a lot of men would jump at the chance to date him and treat him the way Zac should have.
"What happened that she ended things already?" Zac asked to sidetrack his thoughts of Harry moving on. "What did you do wrong?"
"Gay porn," Taylor said so nonchalant. "She couldn't handle the fact that I do gay porn and she thinks I'm secretly gay. I don't get why some people can't understand that I only love dick when it is getting me money. Outside of work I have no want to get dicked down by any men."
Zac couldn't help but laugh at that and as he laughed he realized then why he had came to Taylor's. It wasn't for comfort. It was for the simple fact that Taylor was a good distraction and made him forget his worries.
After all Taylor sometimes seemed to have a more dramatic life than he did and that always helped.
"Maybe you should give up the job," Zac told him with a shrug, knowing damn well that Taylor wouldn't. Taylor loved it and all the money that he got from it.
"Please," Taylor said with a dramatic eye roll. "I love it too much to give it up completely."
"I figured you'd say as much," Zac confessed with a laugh and somehow after that he eased up and things with Taylor became routine. Taylor getting out a stash of weed that he had and both of them getting high.
Zac knowing that at least for now he was okay. When he went home later today or tonight that would be another story because it meant he and Harry talking and he was sure by then they'd have a resolution on where they stood.
He just wasn't sure he'd like that resolution much.
Arriving home later that night Zac parked his car in the driveway and as he stepped out of it, he wasn't in the least bit surprised to see Harry sitting on the porch. Neither of them saying anything as they locked eyes and taking a deep shaky breath Zac moved to sit down beside Harry on the stairs.
"I think we should break up," Harry said almost immediately and the words hurt Zac but again he wasn't surprised by them. Today was the most unsurprising thing for Zac in terms of stuff that was happening. "I...I just can't get past things and I think it's only fair to both of us if we just break up."
Nodding his head Zac blinked back tears, "If that is what you want," he told him not even fighting Harry. There was no use not when Harry's mind was made up and anyway maybe this was fair and best for both of them.
"It is," Harry told him so softly and Zac knew without even looking at him that he was crying and maybe that was what caused Zac to stop fighting his tears.
Neither of them saying anything to each other or trying to comfort the other. Though it was obvious to both of them that their hearts were breaking.
Chapter 24: August 2017: Harry Spotted Moving Out of House He Shared With Zac(pictures attached)
Excerpt: It was just the new normal for him and Harry.
One more taste of your lips just to bring me back
To the places we've been and the nights we've had
Because if this is it then at least we could end it right
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay the night, yeah
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?-"Love You Goodbye" by One Direction
Chewing his lip as he stood in the bathroom after his shower Zac looked at his reflection in the mirror. Not sure if he should make himself look good or not. Harry was coming by today to get his things and move them into wherever he was staying at.
He'd texted Zac last night to tell him and while Zac knew it was coming after all it had been two weeks since they decided to end everything it all still felt so sudden or at least that was what he had said when he'd drunk dialed Georgie last night to complain to her.
He knew his complaining was crazy but he wasn't sure how to deal with things like this. Not when there had been a time he'd thought he would spend the rest of his life with Harry. That they'd be husbands and either adopt babies or use surrogates and have children that way. Now all those dreams were dashed and Harry coming to get his stuff brought that home to him.
The fucked up thing was Zac himself was the reason they were dashed. He had cheated on Harry and ruined everything.
"Get it together," Zac told himself as he shook his head and moved to get ready, deciding he wasn't going to try to look good for when Harry showed up. What was the use when he was miserable?
It was best Harry saw him for what he was. A miserable asshole who had agreed to end things for Harry's sake because right now Zac had forgotten every reason why this break up was good for him.
After he was dressed Zac left the bathroom and headed downstairs to try to find something to eat, though, if he were being honest, he wasn't that hungry. His hangover thanks to getting drunk last night was making his stomach feel blah so whatever he did eat would have to be light.
The last thing he wanted was to be hurling his guts out when Harry got here and well Harry would be here in an hour or so. He'd said around noon because tonight he had a late night session in the studio and he wanted to get his stuff and take them to where he was staying before he was due in the studio.
Zac wondering how Harry's next album was coming now. Maybe he had inspiration thanks to all their drama but at the same time Zac hoped Harry didn't use what happened between them as song inspiration. That would seem cheap even if Harry was allowed to do just that.
Zac who had just finished his food let out a small sigh when he heard a knock on the door. A small knot forming in his stomach and he felt like he was about to lose his food and he knew at least it wasn't because of his hangover. If he got sick now it'd be because of his nerves.
He was nervous about going to the door and seeing Harry today. He was nervous about watching Harry pack up his stuff and leave the house that was supposed to be their forever home behind.
If he could he'd just ignore the door and hope Harry went away.
When another knock came Zac knew he couldn't ignore it and so he willed himself to go to the door. Opening it slowly and pausing once it was open because he couldn't help but check Harry out.
Harry was dressed in a button down shirt though really it shouldn't have been buttoned at all with how many buttons Harry had left not buttoned and he was wearing a pair of jeans that looked almost painted on and well fuck him.
If this was what Harry was wearing to come get his stuff and move out then life really hated Zac and for once he hated life right back. This was just not fucking fair at all.
"Are you just going to stand there staring or are you going to let me inside?" Harry asked and his question brought Zac out of his staring spell, a blush coating Zac's cheek.
"Sorry," Zac apologized as he moved inside so Harry could come in. "I just wasn't..." he started but stopped before he could finish his words. They weren't appropriate words.
"You weren't what?" Harry asked as he paused mid step on the stairs, turning to face Zac and Zac was surprised at how fast he was heading upstairs.
Though he probably shouldn't have been, it seemed Harry wanted to get this done and over with and not just because he wanted to go to the studio. He wanted to be around Zac as little as possible.
Blushing more Zac looked away from Harry's gaze, "I wasn't expecting you to come here looking like you do," he admitted softly hating how pathetic he sounded.
He could still look couldn't he? Harry might have been his ex but looking was allowed or so he thought anyway.
It'd been so long since his last break up that he was rusty on what happened after.
"How was I supposed to look?" Harry asked and Zac finally looked up at him seeing what amounted to a small smirk playing on his lips and at least it seemed he wasn't the only one getting the post break up lines confused or blurry.
"Not like that," Zac said as he gestured at Harry as if that explained everything.
Making a face Harry looked down at his outfit, "I don't know what you mean but I kind of like what I'm wearing so if you have an issue just deal with it," he muttered as he turned back around to head upstairs.
Zac shaking his head because he had no issues beside the one that may have been forming in his pants because of Harry's outfit. God damn Harry and god damn the world with it's not so funny jokes.
Going upstairs after some time, Zac stopped when he reached the bedroom he had once shared with Harry. Watching as he piled a box with stuff. Mainly clothes from what Zac could tell but other things seemed to be in there as well like a pillow and Zac had to fight the urge to complain.
Wanting to tell Harry that everything but his clothes stayed here but that would be childish. Harry had a right to half the things in the house since most things they had bought while they were together.
"How are we going to divide up the movies and cds?" Zac spoke watching as Harry jumped some before looking at him, a blush on his cheek and Zac wanted to be sheepish and feel bad for surprising him but he wasn't.
Harry paused as an eyebrow rose, like he was thinking over Zac's words. Zac wondering if Harry had even considered the movies and cds before just now.
"All the Fleetwood Mac cds are mine," he finally stated and Zac wanted to argue, say some of them were his as well but he knew better than that. Anyway, Harry had always been a bigger fan of them.
He could make some concessions it seemed.
"And everything else is mine?" Zac questioned as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"If you want it then yeah," Harry said as he shrugged his shoulders. "I just want the Fleetwood Mac stuff and you can have all the other cds. As for movies half the romantic comedies were mine from before I moved in and all the action ones were yours."
"And what if I want some of the romantic comedies?" Zac asked knowing he was probably pushing his luck. There was no way Harry would surrender any of the romantic comedies. That was his favorite genre of movies.
Harry looked at Zac with a tiny glare then, "I'd have to kill you for them then," he said and just the way he said it Zac was almost sure he was telling the truth. Harry would kill him and hell with all Zac had put him through he could probably get off on a not guilty if it went to court.
"Then you can have them all," Zac told him knowing he was liking breathing even if sometimes lately it hurt to breath cause breathing reminded him that he was alive and some days he would have rather been dead.
Without Harry in his life it hurt too much at times but of course he wouldn't admit that to anyone except himself. He didn't want others to see him as weak.
"Good," Harry said as his glare turned into a smile. "Now is that all you wanted to talk about?" he asked like he knew Zac had more on his mind than just dividing cd's and movies.
"No," Zac said as he felt himself blush. "I wanted to say earlier when I commented on your outfit that I didn't have a problem with it. Not like you thought," he shrugged before running a hand through his hair. "I liked it...a little too much."
Harry let out a laugh at Zac's words as he moved to sit on the bed, "So what you're saying is you got turned on by this outfit?"
"Well, yeah," Zac nodded his head as his blush grew. "Who the hell wouldn't really?" he asked him knowing if someone didn't then there would have to be something wrong with them.
The outfit Harry had on looked so good on him and just talking about it and thinking about it again was enough to get Zac hard once again. Something he'd done good at getting rid of by trying to think of mundane things and now all his hard work on getting rid of his erection seemed to be all for nothing.
"Then my mission was accomplished," Harry told Zac so plainly and Zac wasn't sure why he was surprised that Harry had dressed like that on purpose.
"So you did this on purpose?" Zac asked him and again he gestured at Harry and his outfit, not shocked when Harry nodded his head yes in answer to what Zac was asking. "Why?" was all Zac could say after.
His brain trying to tell him Harry hadn't done it to rub it in his face on what he was losing but he knew in his heart he had and the fucked up thing was he couldn't blame Harry. He deserved to be taunted by what he had caused himself to lose. He deserved whatever Harry gave him in revenge.
He'd been the worst to Harry and Harry took so much and Zac guessed now it was his turn to take shit from Harry and fate.
"Because I wanted to be mean and petty today," Harry said confirming what Zac's brain didn't want to believe. "I wanted you to see what you were losing and have to live with it," he continued and at least he had the decency to look ashamed of himself.
Taking a deep breath Zac walked farther into the room before he could stop himself, "Can I have you one more time before I lose you for good?" he found himself asking before he could stop himself and he prayed that Harry didn't tell him no because he wanted him.
He wanted Harry so fucking much and having Harry would be much better than having to use his hand. His cock would be thankful if Harry agreed and maybe Zac would too.
"I know us fucking won't mean anything but I just want you so bad right now Harry," Zac continued in Harry's silence, his brown eyes locking with Harry's green ones.
Harry took a visible deep breath before slowly nodding his head and it was the head nod that lead Zac farther into the room and when he reached the bed where Harry was sitting he moved to straddle his waist. His hands going to rest against Harry's cheeks softly as he let his forehead rest against Harry's.
"You're sure about this?" he questioned wanting to make sure this was what Harry truly wanted. He didn't want to push his ex into ex sex that wasn't wanted.
Then it wouldn't be fun and in the end Zac would probably end up feeling guilty and that would be no fun. No fun at all.
"I want this," Harry whispered and after he had spoken those words Zac closed the gap between them. Kissing Harry softly and when he felt Harry's tongue on his lips he parted his lips so easily, letting Harry's tongue slip into his mouth and as their tongues moved together Zac pushed Harry back on the bed.
A small tiny part of him loving the way Harry moaned into his mouth when their hips moved up together. Zac feeling it as Harry's cock came alive underneath him and he knew for certain now that Harry wanted this too.
Harry wanted him one last time as well and maybe this was the closure they both needed. Closure through sex.
Then again maybe it would only make things worse. He knew once Georgie found out she'd say it was going to make moving on worse and she did always seem to be right. Though, Zac did his best to never tell her that for her own ego's sake.
Pulling away from the kiss Zac let his hands undo the buttons that Harry had actually buttoned and once he had them undone, Zac pushed Harry's shirt off him. His lips attaching to Harry's neck as he kissed his way down his neck and onto his chest.
The moans Harry was letting out as Zac worked a path down his chest, sounding almost sinful and they were doing nothing to kill the erection Zac had.
In fact the sound of Harry moaning like he was, was probably making Zac harder. His pants definitely feeling tighter than they had when all this started.
Reaching the waistband of Harry's jeans Zac once again moved away and as he undid Harry's jeans he made eye contact with Harry again. Not surprised when he saw nothing but lust in the other man's eyes. Lust that was all for him still.
Lust that would be only for him just one more time. Today, because after today then Harry would no longer be his.
Instead of saying anything to Harry, Zac just gave him a wink before pushing his pants and boxers off and once Harry was naked Zac let his hand wrap around Harry's cock, stroking him to full hardness.
His hand eventually falling away from Harry's cock once the other man was fully hard though his hand was soon replaced by his mouth and there were those sinful moans that Zac loved from Harry so much.
Zac closing his eyes once he felt Harry's hand tangle into his hair and he began to let his mouth move on Harry's cock much like his hand had been moving. Deciding that before he fucked Harry, he'd suck him for a while.
He'd get Harry all hot and bothered before pulling away and giving Harry what they both wanted which was him inside of Harry. Fucking him like he'd learned to do. In the way that Harry loved.
Laying next to Harry on the bed, Zac caught his breath finally as he leaned against the pillows. The room nothing but silent now and Zac knew soon enough Harry would be slipping out of the bed and getting dressed again.
Soon enough Harry would finish packing and walk away from him and he'd never see him again more than likely, despite the fact that they now had mutual friends in common.
"Do you think we can ever be friends?" Zac asked before he could stop himself and after the words left his mouth he wished he hadn't asked that.
He wasn't sure he really wanted the answer if he was being honest with himself.
Harry took a deep breath and now it was him, running his hand through his hair and Zac knew from the way Harry was looking at him what the question would be.
"I don't think so...not yet," Harry said and the not yet was confusing but then again the last few months his relationship with Harry had been confusing so it wasn't anything new.
It was just the new normal for him and Harry.
Chapter 25: September 2017: Zac seen out partying as DNA test comes back negative for him being the father of Candy's baby.
Excerpt: "Please don't ever put us in this situation again or you may not be so lucky."
I don't get no sleep, I don't get no peace
Thinkin' about her under your bed sheets
The way that she's whisperin', the way that she's pullin' you in
Lord knows I've tried, I can't get her off my mind
I wanna taste her lips, yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I wanna drown myself in a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blonde hair, I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then you'd want me just as much
I gotta girl crush-"Girl Crush" by Harry Styles
"I'm really not the father?" Zac asked his lawyer as he sat across from her in her office. His lawyer having given him the news that the court ordered DNA test on Candy's unborn child had came back and he was not the father.
A fact that still felt like a dream. A good dream that was the first out of all the things that felt like a nightmare in his life since Harry had left it.
"You are really not the father," Angela smiled as she looked at Zac. "It seems Candy was lying or just confused," she told him and though she had given him two possibilities Zac knew that she knew as well as he did that Candy had lied.
There had been no confusion for her. She had just lied more than likely to ruin Zac's life, something that she had accomplished because it had broken him and Harry up. He had lost the man he loved all because Harry had found out the truth, that Zac had cheated on him.
"Thank god," Zac muttered out knowing he had dodged a bullet by not having a baby with Candy.
He had never wanted to be tied to her for life or even just eighteen years and now he wouldn't be because her baby wasn't his. That baby belonged to some other poor man. A man that Zac already felt sorry for.
"You really were lucky with this one," Angela told him as she gave Zac a knowing look, his cheeks getting hot. "Please don't ever put us in this situation again or you may not be so lucky."
Swallowing hard Zac had to look away from Angela, feeling like she was giving him the talk his mother would also probably give him. "Trust me, we will never be in this situation again," he assured her knowing he'd always make sure to have condoms from now on when he had sex with women.
If he ever did because sex with anyone besides Harry still seemed so iffy. All his body wanted was Harry and he wished his body had been that way all along. So that he'd never have fucked things up so royally.
"And so the baby really isn't yours?" Avery asked as Zac sat at a table in a restaurant with both Avery and Jessica as well as Taylor and Georgie. Zac having decided to invite them all to lunch after he had met with Angela.
He had just felt like spreading the good news and who better to share it with than his best friend and his family. Though a tiny part of him wished Harry was here. He'd almost invited him too but then he remembered Harry saying that them being friends probably wasn't the best yet and so he hadn't invited him.
Though he still did want to text him and tell him the good news. Figured Harry may like it too, if only because Zac wouldn't be stuck with Candy forever.
"The baby isn't mine," Zac stated not sure if he'd ever tire of saying those words. He was sure he'd go to sleep saying them as a mantra tonight just so he could sleep better. "Candy lied."
"Or she was confused," Jessica added in saying what Angela had stated earlier but unlike Angela, sweet Jessie seemed like she believed her words. Like she could almost give Candy the benefit of the doubt.
Before Zac could tell her that no, Candy had never been confused, Georgie let out a laugh from beside him and Zac turned to look at her seeing her shaking her head as she eyed Jessica.
"There is no way Candy was just confused," Georgie said obviously on the same wavelength as Zac was. "She lied deliberately to hurt Zac because she is a bitch," she said being blunt.
Zac knew Candy was a bitch but he wasn't sure he would have worded it like that.
Jessica only blushed as she looked away after Georgie said that and Zac smiled because like he had thought, sweet Jessie was too nice to think bad of anyone even the girl who had tried to ruin her brother's life.
"Since you aren't the father I think this calls for a celebration," Taylor piped in after taking a bite of the red velvet pancakes he had ordered. "How about we all go to a club tonight, even you Avie," he said as he eyed their sister who just last week had announced her own pregnancy news.
She was having their parents second grandchild. Isaac and his wife Kate having given them their first just last year.
"But what's the use of going if I can't drink," Avery made a face with a shake of her head. "I'll probably just stay home with Niall."
Zac shook his head as he too looked at Avery, "You can come and keep me company. I doubt I'm going to drink at all," he admitted knowing that while maybe he did want to celebrate he wasn't sure he wanted to get drunk.
After all getting drunk was what had lead to him almost being a father.
"You turn down a drink?" Georgie asked like she was astounded by his words. "You must be sick."
Rolling his eyes playfully Zac shook his head again, "Not sick I just don't feel like getting drunk," he answered with a small smile. Hoping that no one figured out the reason why.
He hated to be seen as weak, especially right now and he knew everyone still probably saw him that way since the breakup was still fresh and new.
"I'll think about it then if you aren't going to drink," Avery said as she shrugged sheepishly and Zac knew his sister probably wouldn't come. Ever since marrying Niall she'd become such a homebody.
Running a hand through his hair as he sat at the bar by himself, Zac watched Georgie, Jessica and Taylor all out on the dance floor having fun while he just stayed here at the bar. Feeling like he just didn't want to be out there dancing.
Then again he was still sober while he knew the other three had drinks in them and maybe that was why he wasn't having fun. After all he had every reason to be out there having fun. He wasn't going to be a father and he was no longer tied to Candy.
Eventually at least some day the world would forget the scandal he had and move on to another scandal. But Zac wasn't sure if he could ever move on when it had cost him everything he had really cared about. He had lost Harry and he couldn't even keep Harry as a friend anymore.
It was the last bit that seemed to hurt the most because how could he do life without Harry in it in some form? Yet he knew he'd have too.
"You sure look lonely tonight," a sultry voice spoke from beside Zac and he turned his head to see an attractive looking blonde woman sitting beside him. Someone he hadn't even seen sit down beside him.
"I guess I kind of am," Zac said not sure why he was even telling a total stranger that. He wasn't even drunk right now.
"Kind of?" the blonde asked with a raised eyebrow. "You either are or you aren't."
"I am," Zac sighed and again he wasn't sure why he was telling a total stranger how he was feeling. "I shouldn't be lonely but I am."
The woman laughed at his words as she moved closer to Zac then, "Isn't that what everyone who is lonely thinks. They shouldn't be but they are."
Zac couldn't help but roll his eyes at the woman's words and at least this time it wasn't playfully. Not like it had been at lunch with everyone.
"Why am I even telling you this?" he mused out loud knowing he probably sounded rude but the woman beside him didn't even flinch. "You're a stranger and I don't need to be telling my shit to a stranger."
"Sometimes strangers listen better than friends," the woman said and of course she wasn't affected by how rude he had seemed. "And my name is Emily so I'm not much of a stranger anymore am I?" she asked him with a smile.
The smile from Emily seemed genuine enough but Zac knew just from instinct there was something else lurking under it. She had more intentions than just being a listening ear and he hated his body for the way it reacted. He hated the way his pants started to get tighter as his cock came alive in his jeans.
There was no way he could fuck Emily, not when he had no condoms on him. He had meant what he said when he said he'd never be in a situation of being wrongfully accused of getting someone pregnant.
"I think you want more than to listen to my woes Emily," Zac told her deciding to be blunt with her.
"Is it wrong to want a casual hook up with an attractive man?" Emily asked and as she spoke her hand went to Zac's thigh. Zac cursing himself as he felt his cock twitch. His body clearly wanting her.
Maybe a hook up of any sort would help for a bit. Make him forget what he was missing.
"I can't have sex with you," Zac told her as he blushed now. "I mean, not like you want. I don't have condoms."
At his words, Emily leaned in as she left a kiss on his cheek, her lips lingering on his skin and making goosebumps form on his body. "There are other things we can do that don't require condoms," she told him softly all seductive and Zac knew then that she was okay with oral sex.
She'd be willing to go down on him and have him go down on her.
With that knowledge he pulled away from her, "Meet me in the bathroom in ten minutes," he told her as he stood from the bar, making his way towards the men's bathroom and knowing full well that soon enough Emily would follow. She wanted him and she wanted him bad.
Zac wondering then if maybe she was lonely too and that was why she wanted this hook up. Maybe there was someone out there she wanted to forget as well.
It would all make sense if so. So that is what Zac told himself, that Emily was just lonely like himself and that was why this was happening.
Chewing on his lip as he drove Georgie home, Zac kept glancing at her every so often. He knew there was a reason she'd chosen to ride with him when both Taylor and Jessica had taken Uber's back home. He was just waiting to see what it was and he didn't want to be the first to crack and ask her.
But the anticipation was killing him and he knew in the end he'd probably crack before she gave up her reasons for riding with him. It was more than likely what Georgie wanted.
"So," Zac said deciding to break the ice just like Georgie wanted. He always did what his best friend wanted half the time. "Why did you want to ride home with me?"
"Because I wanted to ask if you were stupid," Georgie said plainly and Zac felt his cheeks getting warm. "I saw you sneak off to the bathroom with that blonde. Do you really want another pregnancy scandal so soon?"
Blushing even more Zac swallowed hard at Georgie's words. Leave it to George to call him out like this.
"Don't worry George, we didn't have that kind of sex. It was just oral," he told her as his blush grew because somehow this conversation made him uncomfortable even if she knew way more about his sex life than most female friends probably knew about their male friends sex lives.
"And you think just oral with a stranger is okay too?" Georgie asked him still clearly peeved at what he had done. "You know people probably saw you. This is going to be in the tabloid and hurt Harry," she said and there it was.
There was what really bothered Georgie. She was concerned about what Harry would think of this.
"I don't think Harry will care," Zac said as he shook his head. "According to TMZ he is on his second guy in a month. He's been with two different men since we broke up George. This woman was the first person for me. Am I just supposed to stay celibate while Harry can fuck anyone that he wants?"
"No," Georgie sighed sounding conflicted. "I just wish you'd be smarter. I wish you hadn't fucked everything up with Harry."
Frowning at her last words Zac felt a lump form in his throat, "I wish that too Georgie," he whispered out hating the tears that were threatening to come out. "I wish that every day since we broke up."
After he said that, the car fell silent and Zac who normally wasn't a fan of silence was thankful. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk anymore. Not when all he wanted to do was break down and cry but he couldn't do that while driving.
His crying would have to wait until he dropped Georgie off and went home.
Chapter 26: October 2017: Harry tells reporter in first interview since break up he isn't sure he can ever forgive Zac
Excerpt: He wasn't even sure if he could do that when Harry still had every piece of his heart.
Point of no return and now
It's just too late to turn around
I try to forgive you
But I struggle 'cause I don't know how
We built it up so high and now I'm fallin'
It's a long way down
It's a long way down, from here-"Long Way Down" by One Direction
Zac frowned as he read the headline of People Magazine's interview with Harry. Reading in big bold black letters the words that Harry wasn't sure that he could ever forgive him. Just reading those words broke his heart which seemed to be perpetually broken since August when Harry had walked out of his life.
"Did you show me this to make me feel horrible this morning?" Zac asked as he looked across from Georgie having met her for breakfast before he had to head to New York for a photo shoot. A trip that he also wasn't making alone either.
Emily, the woman from last month was coming with him because they had somehow kept in touch after their bathroom hookup. Zac having gone back to the bar the next night where once again he had ran into Emily and the rest was history of sorts. They were having a no strings attached relationship.
The both of them having decided on the no strings because both were coming off bad breaks up. Emily knowing the nasty details of what had happened between Zac and Harry and Zac knowing that Emily's past ex had been an emotionally abusive prick who didn't deserve a soul as beautiful as hers.
Hell, Zac didn't deserve her either but having her presence helped some. Even if he didn't love her he did love her presence.
"No," Georgie said with a shake of her head. "I showed it to you so that you'd see Harry still thinks about you."
"Really? Him being asked about me doesn't prove he thinks about me or even cares anymore," Zac told her as he handed the magazine back to Georgie. "Neither does all five of the guys he has been with since our break up two months ago. Five fucking guys George and all I have had is Emily."
Georgie scrunched up her nose looking like she was disgusted by what Zac said. That or she was disgusted by what Zac and Harry were both doing.
"He is rebounding just like you are Zac. So don't judge him. But trust me he thinks about you. He may say he isn't sure he can forgive you for what you did but he talks about you all the time when I see him."
Blushing at Georgie's words, Zac had to look away, not sure how to handle the news that Harry always talked about him. Especially when he could never forgive him.
"Is there anything wrong with rebound relationships?" he asked, ignoring the rest of what Georgie had said and he knew even without looking at her, that she was glaring at him.
He could feel her glare.
"There is nothing wrong if you are both on the same page," Georgie answered and from the way she spoke it was like she knew a secret that he didn't.
Zac wouldn't be surprised if she did. Georgie knew more than he did because she actually paid attention to things while Zac had a tendency to not do that. It was why he seemed to always screw up his life and make mistakes.
Maybe he never should have moved out of the apartment he shared with Georgie. She could have stopped him from cheating before he had even cheated.
"Emily and I are both on the same page," Zac told her as he finally looked at her again and the look she was giving him was also saying that she knew more or she knew a secret.
Shaking her head Georgie finished her pancakes that she had ordered, "You two aren't on the same page," she said after she had swallowed her food. "Emily wants more from you."
"And you know this how?" Zac asked her doubting that Emily had confided in Georgie. Every time both of them had hung out Georgie had always been cold to her. Cold enough that sometimes Zac was afraid to have his best friend around the girl he was fucking.
"It's obvious Zachary."
Eyeing Georgie, Zac finished his food and was about to open his mouth to ask her how it was obvious when she spoke again.
"Of course to you it probably isn't because you ignore all the signs or at least you are right now but we both know how slow you were realizing you and Harry were an actual item," Georgie told him as she shot him a small smile at the Harry bit but her words and smile just made the ache in his chest that was Harry sized hurt.
"Then tell me the signs George," Zac told her knowing if she was so sure there was signs he wanted to know so that he could see them for himself.
He needed to know what to do if Emily wanted more from him because in the end he wasn't ready to give her more. He wasn't ready to give his heart to anyone right now.
He wasn't even sure if he could do that when Harry still had every piece of his heart.
"She is going with you to New York," Georgie said as if that explained her entire point. "You don't just go that far with someone you are just having sex with. You do that when you want more."
Opening his mouth to argue and say he'd gone to places with Harry before they became official, he quickly shut it because his words would just give credit to what Georgie had said. After all he and Harry had more than likely been dating before they had ever put a label on it and went official.
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath as he took a long drink of the sweet tea he had ordered, needing something to distract him as he realized that Georgie was right.
"Yeah fuck is right," Georgie nodded her head as she gave him a stern look. "So how do you plan on ending this thing before Emily falls even more in love with a man who isn't emotionally ready?" she asked and Zac hated how easy she had asked that question.
He hated it because the solution wasn't easy. It wasn't like he was looking forward to breaking Emily's heart especially when his heart was broken and he knew how broken hearts felt.
Zac half felt he'd be just as bad as the ex that Emily had just left. The ex who didn't deserve her and didn't this just go to show that Zac truly didn't deserve her presence either?
What Zac deserved was to be alone.
"I don't know," Zac admitted honestly as he felt his cheeks getting hot. "But I'm sure I will think of something," he added on not saying that he'd probably look like an asshole.
He didn't want to be, not when he was trying to change after hurting Harry. Maybe he could change after Emily and just become a monk or something so that this never happened again.
That or he'd just turn to one night stands and never keep in contact with the person he fucked.
"What do you mean you don't want me to go to New York with you?" Emily asked as she sat down on the edge of Zac's bed, watching as he packed. "I've already packed my stuff and I'm ready to go."
"I just don't think it would be good if you went Em," Zac stated as he stopped packing to look at her. He knew he needed to pull the band aid off and break her heart as gently as he could but looking at her was making it hard. How could he crush someone as sweet as her?
How could he look into those blue eyes and tell her he didn't want something as serious as it seemed she clearly did.
"No," Emily told him and Zac watched as she crossed her arms over her chest. "There is more to it than that," she said and Zac swore he hated it when women just knew stuff. Especially bad stuff.
Emily was just like Georgie in that department and maybe it was damn women's intuition or some crap.
"This happened after you meet Georgie for breakfast. Did she say something to make you change your mind?"
Letting out a weary sigh Zac moved to sit down next to Emily, "She didn't say anything per say," he said not wanting to throw Georgie under the bus. Yeah, Georgie had mentioned how Emily wanted more and gave him an example but he'd put the rest together in his mind.
He'd done the math with how things had been with Harry.
"But something was said," Emily stated not even asking a question because she knew it had been.
Zac nodded his head as he refused to look at Emily then, "Something was said," he confirmed feeling as the woman beside him tensed up. It was as if she was expecting bad news.
Again there was that damn women's intuition.
"What was said?" Emily asked her voice all soft and scared and all Zac wanted to do was to comfort her. He didn't want to break her heart.
"You want more than what we have relationship wise," Zac sighed finally looking over at Emily. "It's okay to tell me if you do," he told her because even though he suspected it maybe he wanted to hear her say it. Maybe he needed to hear her say it.
If he heard her say those words then this could make him feel better for letting her down or even having this conversation. Because if she didn't want more like she had first said when this all started then he'd feel like a huge idiot.
He could live with feeling like a huge idiot though. He just wasn't sure right now if he could live with being an asshole to someone else. Breaking someone else's fragile heart. Or an already fragile heart since it was still broken from her ex.
Emily reached a hand up to run through her blonde hair. "I do," she said softly sounding a tiny bit more scared than before. "I know you said you don't want more but I can hope you'll come around can't I?" she questioned and god did Zac hate that question.
That or maybe he hated the answer he would have to give her when it came to that question.
"But I never will come around Em," Zac frowned as he shook his head. "I'm not ready for a relationship and I don't think it's fair for you to hope for something that will never happen."
After he spoke the room went silent and Emily was the one who looked away from him. Her eyes looking down at her lap then and Zac knew just from small clues like the slow breaths she was letting out that she was close to crying.
"So you uninviting me to New York is your way of ending whatever it is we have?" Emily asked a creak coming out as she spoke and now she was fully crying.
Zac had made Emily cry and he felt like the worst person on earth right now.
"Yeah I guess it was," Zac stated and once again both of them fell silent or Emily fell as silent as she could be while crying and yeah, Zac was still feeling like the worst person on earth.
After what felt like forever Emily finally calmed some. At least enough to wipe at her eyes before standing up from the bed. "I should go then. So you can finish getting ready to leave," she said and the way she spoke she sounded so emotionless now. Like she hadn't just been crying not too long ago.
Zac realizing that she had put up a wall. She was deliberately shutting him out so that he couldn't hurt her anymore than what he had.
"I'm sorry," Zac told her watching as she turned to face him after the words had left his mouth.
"No you aren't," Emily told him sounding confident in her words. "Maybe that you hurt me but not that you ended things so don't say sorry for any of it. Anyway, I highly doubt I will forgive you anytime soon even if you are sorry," she told him and her words hurt because they reminded him of what Harry had said in the interview he had read.
Now he had two people who couldn't forgive him for hurting them.
Swallowing around a lump in his throat Zac stayed silent, letting Emily leave finally and not saying anything more. It was only after she had gone that he stood up and finished packing.
Already having decided that once he got to New York he was going to get drunk. He knew he hadn't drank much since his break up, blaming alcohol for everything that had happened with Candy but he needed alcohol.
He needed to forget how awful he was feeling because of Emily and also mainly because of Harry. He needed to forget that he was an asshole who did things that others couldn't forgive so easily.
Chapter 27: December 2017: Zac spends Christmas in Tulsa after an almost awkward run in with Harry a week previous at a mutual friend's Christmas Party
Excerpt: He just wanted to forget that Harry Edward Styles existed and that he had loved and lost him.
I saw your friend that you know from work
He said you feel just fine
I see you gave him my old T-shirt
More of what was once mine
I see it's written, it's all over his face
Comfortable silence is so overrated
Why won't you ever say what you want to say?
Even my phone misses your call, by the way
Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too
Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too
Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too
But you, you never do
Woke up the girl who looked just like you
I almost said your name-"At The Dining Table" by Harry Styles
Sitting in the basement of his parents' house as his mom and sister's finished up the cooking, Zac smoked the joint that he had rolled a few minutes ago. Feeling like he needed the joint after everything he had already endured.
Avery and Niall were here and happy and loved up as were Kate and Isaac and seeing Kate and Isaac's child and Avery's baby bump he was reminded of everything he had lost. A reminder that seemed to come at least once a day but he had been hoping that he would get a break on Christmas.
That somewhere fate would be kinder to him but obviously he had been wrong and after last week. After the near miss of Harry and his newest boy toy at Georgie's Christmas party he didn't want to be reminded of Harry. He just wanted to forget that Harry Edward Styles existed and that he had loved and lost him.
He also wanted to forget how much Harry's newest boy toy looked just like him. Like he was a replacement for the man who had broke Harry's heart and maybe he was. He was also the longest relationship Harry had, had since the breakup. So maybe dating someone who looked like Zac helped.
Looking up when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs he blushed as he saw his baby sister Zoe coming down them. An amused look on her face.
"Mom sent me down to tell you dinner will be done soon and she expects you up there with everyone else," Zoe told him as she reached the bottom of the staircase. "Which I guess should be good since you'll be getting the munchies soon."
"Say that last bit a little louder want you Zoe," Zac teased her as she sat down beside him on the couch.
While he was teasing her though he was also terrified of his mom finding him smoking pot in the basement. Though he was sure she knew what he was doing down here. He'd been smoking pot in her basement since he was a teenager.
"Like everyone doesn't know you are smoking it up down here," Zoe retorted. "Though I am surprised because I was sure you had cut back on the pot smoking or so Avery had claimed a few years back during one of our many conversations about you."
Zac blushed at her words though he wasn't really surprised that his sister's talked about him. He came from a family of seven kids and talking about each other was something that always happened. Had always been there from as early as he could remember.
"I did or I have. I only smoke when I'm stressed or want to forget something."
Zoe furrowed her brows as she looked at him with a question in her eyes. "So what is tonight? Stress or wanting to forget?"
"Both, maybe," Zac shrugged not sure he wanted to confess all his sordid details to his baby sister. She may have been an adult now but he still sometimes saw her as a child and it was hard to confide in her.
"Do you want me to get Georgie for you?" she asked him as she kept her brows furrowed and Zac wanted to laugh at her question because leave it to her to mention going upstairs and getting his best friend to come down here and talk to him.
It was almost like Georgie was meant to come this year to the Hanson Family Christmas and maybe it was a good thing Taylor had invited her. Though Zac knew Taylor had invited her for himself because he was trying to win her back. She wasn't here to give Zac a nice dose of reality medication.
Zac shook his head, "I'm fine," he lied and he knew from the skeptical look that Zoe gave him she didn't believe his words. She didn't call him on it. Instead she only nodded her head and stood from the couch slowly.
"If you say so," she said softly. "Just hurry and come upstairs soon before mom comes down and catches you smoking weed in her basement."
Laughing softly Zac watched as Zoe left him alone and he made quick work to finish off his joint. His stomach growling and letting him know that he should head upstairs soon and get some of the food that had been fixed. Even without the munchies he could never turn down a good meal and Christmas and Thanksgiving at his house was some of the best food he ever had.
Before he could get upstairs though after he had finished the joint, Zac paused when he heard his cell phone alerting him to a text he had.
Making a face he reached into the pocket of his jeans to pull it out before quickly swiping to see who the message was from and when he did he swore his heart stopped.
Harry's name was glaring at him in big bold letters and this had to be a dream or a nightmare either one. Why was Harry messaging him? They had said everything they needed to say to each other when Harry had gotten his stuff a few months back and Harry had even said they couldn't be friends.
So since he had said that Zac was stumped on why Harry had messaged him and against his better judgement he clicked to open the text that Harry had sent him.
Merry Christmas Zachary :). Btw the press posted those pictures of that guy you had a one night stand with on the night of Georgie's party and he was wearing my shirt. The Rolling Stones one that is one of my faves and I guess I forgot it when I was getting my things. Do you think you can get it back for me?
Swallowing hard as he read Harry's text more than once a blush crossed his face as he remembered the guy he had taken home from Georgie's party. It had been some brunette who was tall and lanky and drunk him had found him attractive. Though sober him the next morning hadn't found him so.
It hadn't hurt his feelings when the guy left before Zac had woken up and of course because of that he hadn't known the guy had taken a shirt from his place. A shirt that Zac may have hidden the day Harry came to get his stuff because he had wanted one thing to remind him of Harry during the bad times even if the reminder hurt.
Zac was a glutton for punishment after all.
Chewing on his lip Zac let his fingers hover over his phone as he tried to reply back to the text but everything he thought of saying felt off. He could either type sorry but that felt too weird and he doubted Harry would forgive him since he still hadn't forgiven him for cheating or he could type back that he'd get the shirt but that meant keeping communication open and setting up a time for Harry to get his shirt back.
Zac knowing that he wasn't ready to see Harry in person just yet. So instead of replying he just pocketed his phone again before standing and heading upstairs.
Maybe he could come up with a reply later or then again maybe he wouldn't.
The next morning Zac woke up in the guest bedroom at his parents house and the first thing he did after stretching was reach for his phone to see if he could come up with a reply to Harry but when he had his phone turned on he saw another text from the boy he had been thinking about.
Zac clicking on it and reading it quicker than he would ever admit to doing.
Sorry for the text last night. I was drunk and not thinking clearly. I do hope you had a good Christmas though.
Swallowing hard Zac only shook his head, deciding then and there not to reply to the text. Harry had said it all when he said he was drunk and not thinking clearly. Obviously he didn't want a response from Zac and so he wasn't going to give him one.