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Royal Flush

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You were going to kill him.

You stood in one of the spare rooms of Urahara Kisuke’s “humble” shop, staring incredulously at the sight before you. You shouldn’t have been surprised, yet somehow, Kisuke had managed it anyway. You clenched your jaw so hard that it made your teeth hurt. You'd understood the rules when you got yourself into this situation, but this was just...

"Fair's fair!" Kisuke had sing-songed at you, a shit-eating grin on his face as he'd ushered you upstairs. "You lost the bet, now it's time to pay the penalty!"

Well, fine, so you did lose a bet you'd made with him, but this was just ridiculous. That little motherfucker!

He'd bought you a fucking dress. You didn’t want to think about how long he’d spent perusing his options on the internet instead of doing work, because you knew you wouldn’t like the answer. It was silver, with gossamer sleeves, layers and layers of tulle making up the skirt and a freaking bodice. He'd even bought a pair of white opera gloves and a goddamn tiara. (A plastic one, but that wasn't the point.) He didn't honestly expect you to wear this, did he?

Dismay threatened to overtake you.

"Tick, tock!" you heard him call from downstairs, and you growled.

Sick. He was a sick pervert and you were probably sick too for going along with his creepy fantasies.

You grunted as you pulled off your clothing and struggled into the dress, which took like five minutes of puffing and panting before you managed to locate the little hidden zipper installed in the side. Well, at least you weren’t being forced to lace yourself up into a corset or something. The fabric fell over your skin like water, and you scowled furiously in the mirror as you did up the zip. You looked totally ridiculous, which was, you supposed, the entire point. But you knew the second he saw you, he’d start gushing over how cute you looked.
“Yeah, right,” you snorted, roughly pulling on the gloves.

The plastic tiara was the final touch atop your head and with a resigned air, you headed downstairs, the skirts rustling and generally getting in the way. How did anybody even walk in these things? It was just a good thing you weren’t wearing high heels to complete the look. You heard muffled voices coming from the front room. Great – did he really have to have an audience for this? Jinta was going to piss himself laughing.

Growling, you yanked open the door and stalked in.

Kisuke nearly dropped his fan.

Ururu and Tessai gawped at you in mute shock and Jinta, true to form, started laughing hysterically, drumming his heels on the tatami met and pointing a shaking finger in your direction. There were even tears streaming down his face. Yeah, thanks for that, you little shit.

“Alright, I’m wearing the stupid thing.” you barked at Kisuke, folding your arms over your chest. “What exactly do you want me to do?”

Kisuke’s annoying grin widened at that, but you knew he couldn’t say anything too crass in front of the kids, even if Jinta had a filthy mouth on him (you blamed Renji, personally). You merely stared back, highly unimpressed.

“Business as usual, my dear,” Kisuke replied in an airy tone that deceived nobody. “We’d better clean up a bit before the customers arrive, hm? Let’s get to it, everyone~!”

You groaned in the back of your throat as everyone got up and started to get to work, while you stared at a very smug Kisuke from across the room, now coyly fanning himself.

It was gonna be a long day.



You looked up.

Kisuke, for all his talk about ‘business as usual’, had decidedly not been doing his “humble shopkeeper” routine. Instead he’d spent a lot of the day discreetly stalking you around the shop, his hands grazing your hips as he moved you carefully aside to get something, his hot breath on your ear, trailing down your neck, before he’d move away again. It was like being mugged, but instead of bruises he left a blush on your face, ghostly imprints of where his hands had touched you almost burning on your skin. So, by mid-afternoon, you were already feeling distinctly hot and bothered when Kisuke poked his head around the door, interrupting you mid-sweeping.


“Would you mind grabbing some necessities from the stockroom? We some to be running low out front.”

“Whatever,” you grumbled, turning and heading towards the ladder, the rasp of fabric as you walked seeming to ring in your ears.

How did he expect you to get any work done today when you had to maneuver in this contraption? Was he going to give you additional penalties for ‘slacking off’? You’d throttle him if he tried to pull a fast one on you like that, genius or not.

You wrinkled your nose as you touched ground in the basement. It was always a little chilly down there, and robbed of your usual casual clothing you felt it more keenly than usual. Dresses like this were pleasing to look at, sure, but the spider web-thin sleeves didn’t really do much to protect your arms. You eyed the crates of stuff, then huffed and straightened up. Well, the boxes weren’t going to move themselves.

You’d been lugging stuff to the foot of the ladder, intending to drag them up one at a time, for about ten or fifteen minutes, when he struck.

You had paused to stretch out your back and wipe the back of your hand across your forehead when you heard a familiar chuckle behind you. Before you had time to speak, fingers gripping your waist. A shudder went through you – though he’d pulled this trick already, your body was primed for his touch.

“Look how hot and sweaty you’ve gotten, Princess. Maybe you should take a break.”

You stiffened and turned slowly in Kisuke’s grip, displeasure evident on your face.

“You’re the idiot who forced me to wear this,” you grumbled at him.

“You wound me,” Kisuke smirked, kissing your neck, which made it a little difficult to take him seriously. “Did I point my sword at your neck? You did agree to a penalty if you lost the bet.”

“Yeah, but this didn’t have to be it!” you retorted, sullen because you knew he was right, as usual. “I think you just like humiliating me.”

A finger tilted your face up to meet half-lidded grey eyes. He wasn’t smirking anymore.

“Do you really think that?” he asked.

“Why else would you want me to put this on?” you replied, though that look in his eyes was rapidly ebbing away tour annoyance, replacing it with something else. Something more…warming.

He chuckled, running a hand through your hair and winding a strand of it around his finger, his free hand tugging you closer.

“Maybe I wanted to have the honour of removing it for you, Princess.”

He kissed the other side of your neck and there was something apologetic about the action, if indeed you can really apologise with a kiss. You tilted your head, a silent acceptance of a nonverbal apology. You and Kisuke may have been terrible at expressing yourselves out loud, but it was subtle gestures like these that helped reaffirm certain things.

“Pervert.” you smirked at him.

“You don’t seem to be complaining,” he observed wryly, the hand on your waist sliding upwards to find your zipper.

Cool air pricked your newly-exposed skin as the fabric peeled away from your body, all the more of it available for Kisuke to explore. As he pulled you closer, soft material of his robe brushing your skin, you felt something hard nudge your hip and you grinned.

“Someone’s excited.”

A throaty chuckle.

“How could I help it, watching you walk around in that dress and that cute, pouty face you kept making?”

“I don’t pout. I scowl. Big difference.”

“My apologies,” he smirked, resting his long-fingered hands on your hips and helping you out of the flouncy layers of tulle, which puddled on the floor. “How can I make it up to you, Princess?”

“You know how,” you replied – it wasn’t like he hadn’t been pulling the strings to get this outcome the entire time.

Kisuke’s eyes were positively alight with excitement as he pulled you closer and you sank gratefully into his embrace, seeking respite from the chilly air of the basement…but at least down here, you were far less likely to be rudely interrupted. You let your head lazily fall back as Kisuke peppered your neck and shoulders with kisses, his stubble scraping your skin…you’d be going back up that ladder with a rash, no question about it.

Hands slid up your bare thighs, squeezing and gently rubbing little circles with the flat of his palms. He back you up against one of the boxes, forcing you to step out of the dress, leaving you standing there in your underwear, opera gloves and a tiara. Kisuke was practically drooling at the sight and you had to admit that seeing the excited look on the normally-calm Kisuke’s face did strange things to your insides, made your cheeks heat up. A hand ghosted over the crotch of your underwear and you shivered in reply, unable to keep the disappointment off your face as the hand withdrew, far too soon, in your opinion.

“Kisuke,” you hissed.

“All in good time, sweetheart,” Kisuke chimed, but he did lower his head, running his tongue down from your throat to the synapse between your breasts.

You tugged at his clothing as he kissed you, wanting his thick, heavy robe off, but Kisuke merely snickered – you were so impatient, he liked to take his time, so these sessions were often a battle of wills as well of joining of bodies. Kisuke tended to win more often than not, but it was difficult to be annoyed – not when he was so good at demonstrating the virtues of delayed gratification. Still, he was off-balance today – one of the few drawbacks to getting what he wants, it seems.

“C’mon, Kisuke,” you purred, batting his hat out of the way and running your hands through his sandy-blonde hair. “Whatcha waiting for, hmm? Don’t you want to touch me?”

A gleam in his eyes told you what you needed to know, but you still shivered excitedly as he spoke.

“Oh, Princess…you’ve no idea.”

His hands snagged your hips and suddenly your feet left the floor as Kisuke set you down on top of one of the crates. Any questions withered away before they left your mouth as Kisuke pulled you in for more kisses, hotter this time, heavier somehow. He stood right between your legs, tantalisingly close, his hands dragging over your skin until you were squirming impatiently with want, a heat throbbing at your core. If he didn’t give you some relief soon you were going to explode.

“Kisuke,” you half-hissed, half-whimpered. “Please…”

A throaty laugh.

“Do you need me so badly, sweetheart?”

“Yes,” you growled.

Kisuke smirked and dragged a hand up your thigh, before slipping it past your underwear, sinking a finger into you. Letting out a hoarse gasp, your head jerked up, tilting back as he began to pump in and out, adding another for good measure. You moaned, long and slow, your legs jerking reflexively. You gripped the sides of the crate so hard it hurt your fingers. The basement filled with the sounds of harsh panting, Kisuke whispering, the creak of wood and you hissing swearwords under your breath. It felt so damn good, but you knew he was still holding back, still teasing you before he planned on giving you full satisfaction.

Perhaps sensing your mounting frustration, or the look on your face as he tormented you with his fingers was simply too much to resist – either way, he finally gave in.

“So gorgeous…” Kisuke murmured, giving a rapturous sigh as he withdrew a bit, unfastening the knot at the front of his hakama and your heartbeat seemed to momentarily stutter at the sight.

Your throat went dry as Kisuke pulled you closer, hooking his fingers behind your knees, dragging you to the lip of the crate and spreading your legs. A smile pulled at his lips, looking you from tiara to tiptoe.

He closed the distance between you and pressed his lips to yours, his hand tangling in your hair. He didn’t bother to remove your underwear – instead he simply nudged it aside with his free hand, guiding himself into your slick heat. You let out a gasp, inner walls constricting and you jerked your hips forward, shooting Kisuke a glare as he paused.

“Kisuke…don’t you dare,” you growled, “Don’t tease me.”

He laughed softly, but at your command he started to move his hips and somehow managed to refrain from making any smartass remarks – mostly because his mouth was very much occupied. The crate rattled beneath you as Kisuke moved and you wrapped your legs around his waist, your head canting back. Fuck, but it felt so good to have him pressed up against you, his arms winding around your back to stop you from toppling backwards as he fucked you.

You let out a strangulated gasp as he dragged over your sweetspot, his teeth nipping your ear playfully as he shifted his hips, pulling you closer, changing up the angle so he stroked you right there, nice and hard and deep. Tingles of pleasure shot through you, that teasing pressure on your clit making your eyes water. He whispered in your ear as he did so, pet names falling easily from his lips, telling you that you were “so pretty like this, Princess, moan for me, just like that, yes - "

“Kisuke!” you gasped, slick with sweat, trying to grab his shoulders for purchase, but the damn silky gloves made getting a decent grip somewhat difficult. But you’re close, so damn close, and all this pressure, the fabric of your underwear dragging over your sensitive folds in this amazing way, the rough drag of material making you squirm. Just a little more…

“Nngh, I know, sweetheart, you’re doing so well,” Kisuke consoled you, leaning down and sucking on your breast, making a keening cry leave your mouth, his tongue flicking over your most sensitive spots, tingles erupting over the sensitive globes of flesh as well as the almost pulsating pleasure in your core, your legs tightening around his hips so hard you’re sure he’ll have bruises there tomorrow.


Your legs shook as you finally reached that high you’ve been craving – fucking burning for, really – all damn day, and Kisuke wasn’t far behind you either, twitching and grunting as a heat rushes through you. With deliberate slowness, you carefully unhooked your legs from his hips and planted them on the floor, though they were still wobbly. Little bolts of pleasure prevented you from moving, or wanting to move, for a few minutes. You sucked in cool air, now grateful for the chill of the basement to try and calm your damp skin. Kisuke withdrew, pressing another kiss to your neck and you tilted your throat up to give him better access.

“Am I forgiven for teasing you now, Princess?” he asked, a playful smirk on his features.

“I s’pose,” you replied wryly, glancing at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a Princess fetish before, though. You just have to be different, don’t you?”

“You caught me,” he chuckled, retying the knot of his hakama and running a hand through his hair. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have an afternoon nap…been an awfully quiet day for business.”

“I should damn well think so, after all the hassle you put me through today,” you smirked, sitting up and retrieving your bra, fastening it back on. “Plus, isn’t that a benefit of screwing the boss? Getting to sneak off whenever you want?”

“And here I thought you were just after me for my ravishing good looks.”

You grinned and kissed him, giving his bottom lip a little nip.

“Well, there’s that too. C’mon, I wanna get up to my room before either of the kids or Tessai start wondering what took me so long down here.”

Kisuke agreeably rose and offered a hand, hauling you up and off the crate. Ururu and Jinta would probably be out front, so there was no need to put the dress back on and instead you climbed the ladder in your underwear, gloves and tiara, quickly checking nobody was looking before you hurried upstairs. Your bed practically screamed your name as you approached, yanking off the gloves with relish and flinging them away. The dress might have given Kisuke no end of pleasure, but it was probably ruined by now from lying in a dirty heap in the basement. You dragged on a pair of pajamas and snuggled into bed, knowing Kisuke would be along in a few minutes. You felt much more relaxed in your normal clothes and would worry about disposing of everything else, later.

You kept the tiara, though.

Just because.