Louis woke up anxious yet giddy but continually pushed the feeling down. He tried to pretend that this was normal, that his best friend hadn't just released a solo album. He took a tantalizingly slow wee and washed his face to get those eye-boogers out of his face. He served himself cereal and ate in silence, urging himself to think about anything but the album. He straightened out some books, even decided to wash his dishes for once then went back upstairs. He flopped onto his bed and pulled his earphones from his bedside table. Three minutes of not being able to find his phone and Louis started to think maybe he wasn't meant to listen to the album that day but alas, his phone decided to magically appear. He anxiously plugged his earphones into his phone and started off with Meet Me In The Hallway. A few minutes passed and Louis' heart ached for young Harry. He decided to carry on and listen to Carolina, skipping over Sign Of The Times because he'd heard it so many times. The beat immediately caught him by surprise and he couldn't help but smile and bop his head along. He moved rhythmically played it a second time.
"That's definitely one of my favorites" Louis thought aloud.
Louis then played Two Ghosts, thinking nothing of the name because Harry was, well, quite odd. He listened to the first line and immediately, his heart stopped. The line "couple more tattoos" was heard and his heart just kept sinking. The chorus came and Louis suddenly thought back to all the times after the break up when him and Harry would 'hang out'. He knew their conversations weren't the same. He knew things had changed but he never realized how much it impacted Harry. Tears fell down Louis' cheeks as he realized Harry wasn't over their relationship, over them. And tbh, Louis wasn't either. How could he just forget about it all? They were soul mates. Harry gave him his entire heart not expecting anything in return but Louis was always there for him. Louis was the person Harry would come for, for everything. They shared thoughts, songs, secrets.. They made love. Things had obviously changed and though it was slightly relieving to know Harry was hurting the same way Louis was, it pained him to know that the only way he could get the message through was through a song years later.
He set his earphones down and took a few deep breaths to calm down. He grudgingly put them back on, played the next song and braced himself for the worst. Instead, he was met with the lovely tune of a guitar and with the first two beautiful words "sweet creature", his shoulders relaxed. His emotions wavered, not really knowing if this song was about him, or Harry's mum. By the end of the song, he decided to believe Harry wrote the song for his mum because it's like Harry to do so.
Without warning, Angels were harmonizing all around him and Louis stood still, a bit shook by the current situation. He turned the volume up and closed his eyes, taking in the beautiful voices until-
"HEYHEYYYYY WOO HOO"
Louis shrieked and ripped his earphones off, his heart beating quickly, eyes bulging out.
"What the fuck?!?" Louis yelled at the music able to be heard from his earphones on the bed. He turned the volume much lower and put his earphones back on, trying to listen to the lyrics. Soon he started dancing to the music, declaring this another favorite and lying back down once the song was over.
More of Harry's loud voice flowed through his earphones as Kiwi started. While different in its own way, he had to admit he liked it. Of course he liked it. There wasn't a song so far that didn't make him feel some type of way.
Feeling sure that Harry only wrote one song about him by now, he moved on to Ever Since New York. The lyrics raw and meaningful, didn't take much to understand what it was about for Louis. Harry had obviously ran into trouble with the media various times after being called a womanizer and he knew Harry took every word to heart. He remembered the many times Harry had come to him crying about what people were calling him, about how vulgar people had been when talking about his body and sexualizing him. The stunts were for PR, of course, but it only spewed the public on about Harry's womanizer image. Louis knew who the gentle, loving, kind person Harry was. He hadn't deserved the words said about him and many times Louis wanted to scream about how in love they were. He wanted to tell the world that Harry hadn't fucked anyone but him in years just to see the resentment in the media's eyes. But of course, they could never tell the world about anything.
With a heavy heart, he moved onto Woman and lost himself a bit. He wordlessly listened to the song.. The continuous lalala's and pain in Harry's voice. The song was blatantly about his beards. Not Harry's but Louis. Again, Louis knew that the entire idea had bothered Harry from the start but it was "the only way" management had said. He hadn't known how painful it had really been for Harry. All the times he had to kiss him goodbye and remind him that he loved him before leaving for his beard and the paparazzi's.. All the times he had apologized to a whining Harry.. He didn't think it went any deeper than what Harry had told him, what he had shown him. All the times he'd promised him that they'd get through this, that the stunts couldn't last forever. Did he really make Harry feel empty? Alone? Listening to the song, he could now vividly imagine all the times Harry most likely cried, sitting home alone waiting for him to come back...
Louis couldn't get himself to finish the song so he skipped to From The Dining Table, thinking that nothing could be worse than the pain he felt from Woman. Well, yeah, he was completely wrong. Though they'd promised to keep in touch during the hiatus, they didn't.
He had tweeted Harry for his birthday but nothing has come from it. Things had drastically changed after the summer they broke up. It was both of their faults, things had.. changed. The hiatus helped them drift from each other even more and though, yes, Louis still referred to Harry as his best friend, he hadn't called him in months. He had tried to move on but he couldn't get past meaningless one night stands. His heart was never in it, his mind was never present since the month before OTRA ended. Harry never understood. The entire song was one sided because Louis had been waiting for Harry's call too. He'd dreamed of Harry asking to talk, to hang out, anything. They'd been stubborn, in pain, stupid. Louis needed Harry. He needed Harry all the time and this song clearly showed that Harry felt the same way. All that was keeping them from being together, from forgiveness, from closure, was a phone call.
Louis hastily unplugged his earphones and scrolled through his contacts until his finger hovered over 'Hazz'. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and pressed his phone to his ear.
After two rings a raspy, confused voice answered with "Hello?"
"I'm sorry." Louis breathed.