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The Many Bitchfaces of Sam Winchester

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Bitchface 1: I'm Hungry

"Is he supposed to look like that?"

Dean's question was soft, and mommy and daddy didn't actually hear. They were arguing about something -

You try pushing something the size of a watermelon out of-"

"Mary! There are children present."

"Sam doesn't speak yet, John!"

"Dean, Mary. Our other son. And it was only a small watermelo-"

"I swear to god, John Winchester, you finish that sentence and these kids are going to be fatherless!"

- and suddenly Dean was uncertain. This red, wrinkled thing didn’t look much like a watermelon. But it didn’t look much like a baby either.

"Are you a watermelon or a baby?"

Sammy - Mommy said his name was Sammy and Dean knew that, it was just hard to remember now that he wasn’t in mommy’s tummy - screwed up his face.

"You must be a baby," Dean decided. "I've never seen a watermelon with a face. But maybe you're a special kind of watermelon?"

Sam scowled harder, and Dean nodded. He knew what that expression meant.

“He’s hungry,” Dean announced to the room.

Mommy stopped glaring at Daddy long enough to look at Dean. "What’s that, baby?"

Mommy sounded distracted, and for moment Dean wasn’t sure who she was talking to: him, who had been the baby, or Sammy, who was now the baby. It didn’t take long for him to figure out Mommy was talking to him. Baby Sammy hadn’t spoken yet.

“I said he’s hungry, Mommy. The watermelon.”

"I... De... John!"

Laughing, Daddy leaned closer to Mommy and ran a hand along her hair. She smiled, which was good. He didn’t like it when mommy was upset.

“Sorry, Mary,” he soothed. “You did amazing. Now we have two wonderful boys, and I couldn’t be happier.”

Dean made a face as his parents smooched. Yuck. He was never going to do that. Ever. Sammy made another face, which Dean took as agreement. It soon morphed back into his hungry look.

“He’s hungry, Mommy. Baby Sammy,” he added. Just in case it hadn’t been clear enough.

Mommy laughed, but in that tired way. Why was Mommy tired anyway?

“Dean, honey, Sammy is-“

An almighty screech filled the air. Clapping his hands over his ears, Dean stared in shock at Sammy. That was really loud! Although he’d already figured out Sammy was a baby, he was definitely sure now. Watermelons didn’t make that sort of sound. Or any sound really.

Laughing, Daddy came over and gently picked up Sammy, who kept on fussing.

"You’re such a good big brother, Dean. Mommy just needs to feed her little watermelon."

"Oh for crying out loud, John."

Dean watched as mommy gently took Sammy and settled him on her breast. Loud sucking filled the room, and Dean looked askance. When he was that noisy at dinner, Mommy told him it was rude! Still, there was a big question remaining, because Daddy just said that Sammy was a watermelon…

"Am I a watermelon too?"

Daddy started laughing again, and Mommy just groaned. They didn't actually answer the question though, Dean noted with a pout.