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Smash. 'Dear Death! What the hell Maka?'

'You deserved it. We are supposed to be TEACHING these kids, not showing them how to cheat!'

Just a regular day in class 4M. The students of the aforementioned class had slowly become used to the arguing (read: abuse) that happened between their two teachers, Mrs. Evans and Mr. Eater (.. was teacher the right word for him?) and had quite decided that they must hate each other. No way were these crazies the amazing Deathscythe and Meister team.

No, they were most certainly impostors, the class thought as their blonde teacher gave her white haired partner the beating of his life.

'Umm...Mrs. Evans, Mr. Eater is bleeding rather profusely, shouldn't we do something about it?' asked the terrified class president, Meiko. The other students of the EAT class nodded fearfully, honestly, how could poor Mr. Eater survive this. And just to think, someone had married Mrs. Evans! The class quite agreed that whomever that man was, he must be the strongest of all to be able to survive living with the pigtail wearing demon.

'Psshht, he'll wake up soon enough. Just give him a kick, won't you Koben?' Mrs. Evans replied, rolling her eyes, Koben sat frozen to his chair.

'Well everyone, turn to page 27 of your textbooks and I'll have Mr. Death teach while I deal with Soul.' She tutted, flashing a look of annoyance. The short, child like teacher quickly dialled Kid from the tiny phone in the corner of the room and told him to come. From the shouting on the other end of the line, 4M presumed that in no way was Mr. Death willing to enter a room with the two professors.

To put it nicely, they were screwed.

A few terrified students watched over the tops of their papers as Maka made her way around her oak desk to where her other half lay, knocked out. The young woman reached down slowly and carefully, and with a loving smile she nailed him in the side. '


'Are you sure you want to finish that, darling?' Mrs. Evans asked sweetly. She was met with a steely red glare.

'They've heard worse, Maka.'

'Yeah, well you belong to me so you will damn do what I tell you.' She declared triumphantly.

'Really? Because you are very...submissive in the bedroom, aren't you, master.'

The jaws of the eavesdropping students hit the floor...Bedroom, but Mrs. Evans was married. They looked back between their bright red teacher and her smirking...lover? She wasn't denying it. Oh, dear Death.

'Pro-professor... are you having an affair with Mr. Eater?' asked Kim Ford timidly. Maka swung around,

'An affair, as in cheating on my husband, with him?' she questioned, '...He is my husband.'

Wait. What? If anything, they had not seen that one coming. Was smashing people's heads with textbooks some form of affection in a foreign country? Laughter pealed from the doorway, their symmetry obsessed principal, Mr. Death, was rolling on the ground, clutching his stomach.

'..You. .haha.. never even... told them? I did.. not... expect...' He finally managed, pulling himself to his feet.

'Yes your two idiot professors are married.'

'But their names?' The class asked, confused.

'Right...about that, my name is Soul Eater Evans, buy who the hell wants to be called Mr Evans? I would sound like an old coot. Which I am most certainly not,' he declared, screwing up his face.

'Well I certainly wasn't going by Mrs. Eater, I'm not a whore.' Maka stated crossly.

'I am not a whore...I am not a whore,' sang Soul under his breath, before his wife, smashed his head in with an encyclopedic dictionary, provided via Death the Kid.

'Now, let's continue. Kid, would you care to help me teach?' Maka smiled. With one loud bang, every student dropped their heads onto their desks, nothing was changing anytime soon... oh well they only had... four more years.

Yep definitely screwed.


'It's rather odd, don't you think?' said professor Stien to Lord Death, at prom, a few years later.

'Despite being an extremely successful year, all of the graduates of class 4m display irrational fears of textbooks and pigtails.'