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Emo Reality Show

Chapter Text

One by one, each band member stepped out the car, and into the house at different times.

Gabe Saporta, the lead singer of Cobra Starship, was the first one at the house. Then it was the famous bassist of Fall Out Boy, Pete Wentz. Third to come was the former guitarist of Panic! At The Disco, Ryan Ross.

The three of them sat in the living room waiting for the other two band members to come. They were being filmed for their Reality TV Show that was airing on MTV. Five anonymous band members agreed to live in a house together while being filmed and aired on television. Each band member won 100,000 dollars at the end of the season.

They were currently being filmed for the first episode, which were the introductions. Pete, Gabe, and Ryan had no idea who the other two people would be.

"Who do you think it's gonna be?" Pete gossiped. Gabe looked up. "I don't know.. Maybe someone from The Academy Is...? What if it's William?!?" Gabe gleamed with joy. Ryan thought about it. "It better not be anyone from panic.." He grumbled. Pete didn't say anything, instead just looking away. Gabe gave Ryan a quirky smile.

Suddenly, a car pulled up. "Holy shit, who is it?" Gabe asked. Pete stretched his head to the window. "It's a tall guy, he kinda looks like... Dallon?" Ryan's head fell into his hands.

Gabe looked out the window with Pete. Gabe smiled when he saw the tall figure. Glasses hid his face and he had dark hair. "You idiot, that's Alex fuckin' Suarez!" Gabe yelled and ran to the door quickly, recognizing the ex-bassist of his band.

Alex was walking toward the door when Gabe opened it excitedly. "Suareasy!" Gabe cheered. Alex took off his glasses and stood at the doorstep.

"Woah, Gabe?" Alex recognized him. "Come on in bro! We're just chillin' and waiting for one more person. So far it's just me, Ryan Ross, and Pete Wentz." Gabe explained.

Alex nodded as he walked inside the house and set his stuff down. "I wish they would've told us who was coming before we came," Alex said.

Alex greeted the other two guys before sitting on the couch, waiting for the last person.

"Who could the last person be?" Pete asked. "Like I said, I hope it's William. What if it's Travie?" Gabe kept coming up with possibilities. The door knocked. Everyone looked at each other.

"I'll get it." Alex said. He walked to the door and opened it. There stood a six-foot kid with a sun hat and a skateboard. "Hi. I'm Halvo."

The camera zoomed in on Alex. The sight of the ex-Cobra Starship bassist and current Cobra Starship bassist; drama. Or, that's what they expected.

Alex showed no emotion at all. Gabe's eyes widened. "Uh.." Gabe didn't know what to say. Ryan Ross was in the corner laughing his ass off as Pete sat on the couch confused.

Alex walked back to the couch and sat down, emotionless. "I can't believe you replaced me with that twink." He mumbled. "Hey, be nice!" Gabe yelled.

Eric Halvorsen walked into the house, with a smile. "Hi, guys." He waved. "Who are you," Pete stated instead of saying it in a question form. "I'm Halvo." Pete looked towards Gabe who was glaring at Halvo.

"Uh.." Gabe sighed.

The private introductions for the show were next. Gabe went first.

"Hi, I'm Gabe Saporta. I sing for Cobra Starship. I'm 35 and from Uruguay. I think this show is gonna be a lot of fun. I know and love everyone so its gonna be cool," Gabe cheekily smiled.

Pete was next.

"Hey, I'm Pete. I play bass for Fall Out Boy. I honestly don't know how this is gonna go down so uh.." Pete paused. "Yeah."

Ryan was after.

When everyone turned to Ryan, including the cameras, he seemed to shrink. He was avoiding the cameras prior, but now he seemed almost immobile.

"My name is Ryan." He quickly got up and left, running to the bathroom, where he assumed there weren't any cameras.

When it came time for Alex to introduce himself, he started talking at the group. "I'm Alex Suarez."

At this point, he turned directly to the camera. "I make remixes. Follow my SoundCloud,  LEFTIMUSIC. That's L-E-F-T-I-M-U-S-I-C. Follow me on Twitter and Insta-"

Halvo cut him off, moving in front of the camera.
"Hi, I'm Halvo. I skateboard and vape."

By the looks of it, this is gonna be a disaster.

Chapter Text

Day one of the reality show life.

Gabe was the first to wake up. The first thing he did was go to the bathroom and take a piss.

He flushed the toilet until he noticed something; the water was gross and brown.

What the fuck, he thought. Gabe decided to ignore it. He started washing his hands but then the thought started to bother him.

He checked the toilet again. The water was still a gross brown. Then he opened the lid to the water tank.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Gabe's voice rang out through the house.

Alex was the first one to show up at the door. "What," he said tiredly.

"Someone took a shit in the toilet tank!" Gabe yelled.

Alex stared at the toilet. "Uh... that's disgusting. I'm going back to sleep," Alex walked out back to his room.

*private room recording*

"So uh," Gabe paused.

"Someone took a *BLEEP* in the toilet tank. Like, what the hell?"

*private room recording cuts*

Gabe sighed. Who the hell in their right mind would do this?

Pete showed up at the door. "What?" He asked. "Someone shit in the tank of the toilet." Gabe said.

Pete paused. "Yeah, um, about that,"

Gabe's eyes widened. "You motherfucker!" Gabe yelled as he almost tackled Pete to the ground.

*private room recording*

Gabe held his face in his hands.

He looked up. "It was Pete," he said shaking his head.

"He would be the one to pull this stuff, honestly," Gabe muttered.

*private room recording cuts*

"Look!" Pete tried explaining himself.

"How the fuck do you take a shit in the toilet tank?" Gabe asked loudly. "Listen, I was tired!" Pete explained.

"So that's your excuse for shitting in the fucking toilet tank?" Gabe was fuming.

"Yeah," Pete muttered. Gabe rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Clean that shit up. I'm going back to sleep."

*private room recording*

"Uh. I took a *BLEEP* in the toilet tank.. It was like four in the morning. Uh..." Pete hesitated.

"So, I went in the upperdeck instead of the normal toilet. I was tired. Whatchya gonna do?" Pete shrugged.

*private room recording cuts*

Pete listened and ended up cleaning it.

A few hours later, everyone gathered in the living room.

Ryan, Halvo, Pete and Gabe sat on the couch not saying a word to each other.

"Good morning," Alex greeted everyone while coming downstairs. No one answered. "Wow. Tough crowd." Alex mumbled. Gabe laughed.

"I'm gonna make breakfast." Alex announced. "Oh thank fuck," Gabe said.

Alex, being a certified culinarian, automatically made him the cook of the house.

He went to the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients. Halvo came in and stared at him.

Alex turned around. "Oh.. Um. Hey," Alex saw Halvo. Halvo just kept staring.

*private room recording*

"I think this kid has a crush on me," Alex whispered.

*private room recording cuts*

Alex ignored him and started cooking the eggs. Halfway through cooking the second batch, he turned around.

Halvo was still there.

*private room recording*

"Listen. Having a crush on someone is cute, but if you just stare, its really creepy," Alex said.

"What's worst is that he's the current bassist of my old band. I'm flattered, but he needs to tone it down a notch." Alex continued.

*private room recording cuts*

A few minutes later, Alex finished cooking. He made a shitload of eggs, hash browns, sausage and some pancakes.

"Breakfast is ready!" Alex announced. Halvo sat at the table still staring at Alex.

*private room recording*

"I'm gonna take him down," Halvo said to the camera

*private room recording cuts*

The rest of the guys made it to the table and got their food.

"So, what do you guys wanna do today?" Gabe asked.

Everyone thought about it.

"Can we tour Los Angeles?" Alex asked. Everyone turned and looked at him.

"Dude. All of us already live here." Pete said. "Um, actually, I live in Brooklyn!" Alex defended himself.

Gabe sighed. "We could do a tour on Hollywood Boulevard.." Ryan muttered while eating his hash browns.

"Yo, that's a good idea," Gabe said. The other guys agreed. "So its official?" Gabe asked.

"Yeah, I'm down for it," Pete said.

They finished breakfast and washed their dishes then got ready.

Gabe was the last one to come down. "You guys ready?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah. We've been waiting for you." Alex rolled his eyes. Gabe ignored him.

For the reality show, they got a limo and a Mercedes Benz car. They decided to take the limo and call a driver.

All of the guys got into the limo.

"How far away is Hollywood?" Alex asked. "Like, ten minutes." Ryan answered.

It was kinda weird. Ryan hasn't been talking at all. Neither has Halvo but did anyone really care about him?

The ride to Hollywood was really quiet. Alex kept looking out the window admiring the views of Hollywood.

Gabe and Pete chatted. Halvo vaped, but no one was bothered. Ryan didn't speak.

They finally made it. Everyone got out the car and they were approached by a tour guide.

"Hey guys, I'm Rob, your tour guide of Hollywood for today." He shook hands with the guys.

They walked around the boulevard. It was really gorgeous. The buildings were tall and bright and palm trees towered everywhere.

"These are the famous Hollywood stars," Rob said. They started walking through it in alphabetical order.

Halvo skateboarded through it. "I don't know any of these people," He announced.

"Oh my god, it's the Backstreet Boys," Gabe stood on their star. Pete ran over there. "Fuck you Backstreet Boys, NSYNC is better!" Pete started stomping on the star.

"Dude, don't disrespect the legends, this is going to be on television!" Gabe yelled. Pete stopped and realized Gabe was right.

"Uh. Sorry Backstreet Boys," he said to the camera.

They continued on. They didn't see any notable stars so they trailed off and left with the tour guide.

"This is the center of Hollywood Boulevard, also known as the place where imposters come," Rob said.

"Imposters?" Halvo questioned. "Like, people walking around dressed as Elvis Presley," Gabe explained.

"Lookin good, hot stuff," A voice said. Ryan looked up. "I think I just got hit on by a Danny DeVito," Ryan mumbled. Gabe guffawed.

The tour guide led them on to continue walking. They stopped at Madame Tussaud, the famous wax museum.

"I should be a wax figure," Pete thought aloud. "I agree," Gabe said. They walked in and looked at the wax figures.

"Holy shit, this is fucking creepy," Alex said. "It's One Direction!" Halvo yelled. Ryan ran and stood by the One Direction figures.

"Someone take a picture of this," Ryan handed Gabe his phone. Gabe took a picture and posted it on Ryan's Instagram. "NOT in 1D." Ryan said.

They continued exploring the wax museum. They passed Obama, Tupac, Michael Jackson and a whole bunch of other wax figures.

"Alright, I think I'm done with this," Pete said. The other guys agreed. Rob the tour guide led them out of the museum.

They stopped at the Warner Bros. Movie Studio. Rob got them all in and they looked at the sights.

One of the scenes was an explosion. "Holy shit, look at the helicopter," Gabe pointed. "Was this scene directed by Michael Bay?" Pete asked.

Alex laughed. The guys walked around more places. Everyone was so phased by everything. They saw the scene of Jaws and the Simpsons.

Shortly after they were tired. They had one more stop: the Hollywood sign.

They got out of the movie studio and walked around Hollywood Boulevard. Then they made it in front of the Hollywood sign.

"Take a picture, guys!" Rob said.

Pete and Gabe stood together. Ryan and Alex stood off to the side as Halvo got in the center and knelt down.

Rob took the picture. Finally, the tour was over. It was about seven o'clock.

They went back to the limo. "We should go out to eat, I'm starving," Halvo announced. "Let's go out for sushi!" Gabe yelled.

The decision was made quick but no one said anything or opposed to it. The driver took them to the nearest Japanese restaurant and then they ate.

Chapter Text

Two weeks had past which means an episode was skipped. Nothing happened at all.

Suarez made nice meals, Gabe and Pete made up and watched movies together and surprisingly, Ryan and Halvo smoked together.

Everyone opened up to each other which was good but there was no drama which was bad for views.

The producers had planned something which might create more drama.

The guys gathered in the living room. "Hey guys," Ryan said as they all sat down on the couch. They greeted each other happily.

"The producers are coming over today. I wonder what for," Pete said as he thought about it.

*somewhere else*

"We see that the guys are happy with each other and it's a huge success but... That's not what we want." Producer one said.

"Yeah. We matched them all up because there was a huge drama percentage." Producer two mumbled.

"I came up with this idea.." Producer three said. Producer three then explained.

Producer one and two looked at each other. "Holy shit," they said in unison.

They were totally going for the idea.

*back at the house*

The producers came. They took everyone in the private recording booth one by one. Gabe was first.

"So, can you tell us some secrets about the guys living with you?" The producer asked.

Gabe thought about it.

"Okay. Alex Suarez has these... pajamas. They're footies and he wears them. No one knows but they're absolutely cute! He has pineapple ones," Gabe went on.

The producers felt like they failed. This is not where they were going with this at all.

Ryan was next.

"Tell us secrets about your peers in the house," The producer asked.

Ryan looked around.

"Eric Halvorsen claims to be so cool and that he smokes weed but he doesn't even smoke weed. He smokes mango flavored vape. He even said that when he came here," Ryan explained.

OK. They were getting somewhere here.

Alex was next.

"Tell us a secret about anyone in the house." The producer said.

Alex sat there.

"Uh....." He didn't have anything in mind.

"Peathe!" He ran out the room

Halvo was next. You know the drill.

When he was asked, he didn't really say anything.

"Uh... Pete's real gross. He never flushes and sometimes smells real bad."

Halvo got up and left.

Pete was next. He was last but stayed much longer than the rest.

They all waited for him, sitting out in the living room.

Ryan seemed especially twitchy, picking at his nails, finding imaginary lint on himself and the couch, flicking it into a growing pile of fluff.

"What the fuck do you think he's saying in there?" Ryan asked after a while, looking at Gabe.

Gabe shrugged, sipping on a red bull and vodka. "The little man is full of secrets," he said, trying to seem aloof, trying to remember every single thing he'd said to Pete over the years.

He knew Pete wasn't above saying things he was told in confidence, he'd worn a shirt with Gabe's phone number for fuck's sake.

*private room recording*

"I don't know what the *BLEEP* Pete is saying. I don't trust that *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* at all." Ryan confessed.

*private room recording cuts*

After what seemed like ten minutes later, Pete swiftly walked out. Everyone stared at him. Pete didn't say a word. He went back upstairs into his room.

Gabe shrugged at Ryan who still seemed like a nerve-wracking mess. "I'm gonna go uh, get some sleep. See you guys tomorrow," Ryan muttered while going to his room.

*private room recording*

"I wonder what the *BLEEP* Pete said. He must know a lot. I'm kinda worried. " Gabe admitted.

*private room recording cuts*

Next Morning

It was around eleven o'clock. Alex was cooking breakfast, which was omelets, while Halvo and Ryan sat in the living room watching TV. Pete and Gabe sat in the dining room on social media.

Someone knocked at the door real loudly. "Ooh, I'll get it!" Alex said in a sing-song voice. He was wearing a 'Kiss The Chef' apron with SUAREASY written under it.

He opened the door and saw three familiar faces. "Holy fucking shit." He breathed.

*private room recording*

"So I was cooking right? Then I heard the door knock. I went to go get it and it was totally a surprise." Alex said.

* private room recording cuts*

"Holy shit, hey dude!" The tall giraffe looking one said. It was obviously Ryland Blackinton. Alex and Ryland hugged. BFF's reunited.

"Hey Bilvy, hey Brendon," Alex greeted William Beckett and Brendon Urie.

"Uh... Why are you guys here?" Alex finally asked. "We're gonna be living here for the show too," Brendon said.

Ryan's head popped up. He knew that fucking frog sounding voice. It was oh so familiar to him. He peeked at the door.

Oh, fuck no, oh fuck no, Ryan thought. He was in total panic mode. Brendon was there. The lead singer of his old band, Panic! At The Disco. This was bad. Real bad.

* private room recording*

"I heard his *BLEEPING* voice. I knew it was him. I had to get the *BLEEP* out of there." Ryan sighed.

* private room recording cuts*

Ryan hopped up and skidded through the kitchen. He was making an escape plan. Ryan couldn't live with Brendon, he just can't. Let alone, see him.

He raced through the back door and tried to escape quickly. He climbed the fence.

There was a loud splash. Ryan ended up falling in the pool, his escape plan failing. Ryan was struggling to swim, he was stuck in the ten feet area.

By now, everyone was outside, staring at his struggle. "Ryan, you can't fuckin' swim!" Gabe yelled, laughing.

"I can if I try," Ryan said through breaths. He was trying to swim to the shallow side, making it to the eight feet area.

Brendon looked down and sighed. "I'm gonna light a blunt.. anyone wanna come?" He said, avoiding Ryan.

"I'd totally go, but I'm in the middle of cooking." Alex shrugged. That was when he realized the food was still on the stove. He turned around and ran back inside.

Brendon sighed loudly and looked around for other options. "Gabe?" He asked. "No, I promised Ryan that we were best friends. Sorry bro," Gabe shrugged.

Brendon's eyes widened. "God damn it! Pete, come the fuck on," Brendon lead Pete inside the house.

Halvo sighed. "I would have totally been willing to smoke with him." He frowned.

Breakfast was a little awkward. Actually, not really. Ryan didn't attend, he changed his clothes and ate upstairs in his room while the other guys caught up with each other downstairs.

All of the guys were chatting in the living room when they noticed a flood of smoke coming downstairs. "What the fuck," Pete exclaimed.

*private room recording*

Pete sat in the booth. "So we're all eating the breakfast Suarez made and having a good time right? All of the sudden, there's just smoke coming down the stairs. What the *BLEEP*?" He explained.

*private room recording cuts*

The smoke alarm then started going off. It smelled like weed and tobacco. Jesus fuck, Ryan.

All of the guys ran upstairs into Ryan's room. The window was open and he was gone. "Oh my god, are you kidding me," Gabe yelled.

Ryan did everything and anything he could to get away from Brendon.

"Brendon, you should find him and talk to him-" "FUCK NO," Brendon yelled and stormed out the room. Pete and Gabe ran after him as William, Halvo, Alex, and Ryland stood in the room.

"Wow." Ryland said.

"Dude, I'll literally pay for anything you want for the next year if you talk to him," Gabe tried to bribe Brendon. "My net worth is like, five million more than yours, I think I'm fine" Brendon crossed his arms. Gabe groaned.

*private room recording*

"I can't do this." Brendon groaned.

*private room recording cuts*

"Fuck, alright, I'll think of something later, get Ryland to come with me, we gotta go fast."

Brendon was about done with everything. He didn't care anymore. He just wanted the $100,000 honestly.

Minutes later, Brendon and Ryland were in the car zooming through the neighborhood trying to find the ex-guitarist of Panic! At The Disco.

"I think that's him," Ryland said. They approached a guy jogging on the street. Yup, it was Ryan Ross.

"Ryan!" Ryland got out the car. He ran to Ryan. "Dude!" Ryan yelled. He was fucked.

Ryland grasped onto Ryan and dragged him to the car. "This is kidnapping!" Ryan yelled.

"Dude, I'll do anything you want, just get in the car, please," Ryland begged. Ryan rolled his eyes and agreed.

Brendon looked away as Ryan got in the car. Ryan hadn't even noticed Brendon. Ryland hopped in and locked the doors super quick.

That was when Ryan noticed Brendon was driving. He started shrieking.


"DUDE." Ryland interrupted. "Calm the fuck down! He just wants to talk!"

Ryan perhaps wanted to die right then and there.