Sitting on the phone with Mercedes, Santana taps her pen against her swollen belly. This is it, this is what making it feels like. Her first book, the one she wrote before she was married, that was a memoir, a story she didn’t have control of, but her second book, her novel, she created these characters, and she feels like a real writer. This is it. The start of her career, and the start of her family are happening all at once.
She feels so lucky that both Brittany’s business and the money she made on the first book have allowed her to follow this dream, how her wife has been nothing but supportive of her, from the very first words she wrote on the page. She’s so fortunate, and she thinks about how it all started in such a swirl of anger and depression. She thinks about their home, how it was such a dump, and now it’s gorgeous. It’s gorgeous, and it’s theirs. The home they’ll raise their family in. The home with the little room beside theirs, the room Brittany has been painting. The room for the little person inside of her, the person who she’s pretty sure is their son. Their son, she grins at the thought. She thinks of it all the time, a little boy in overalls, sitting in the barn with Brittany while she shows him the animals. The bigger she gets, the more she pictures Brittany with their child in her arms.
All through the winter, they hibernated inside of their house, Santana editing, and Brittany fixing things up, getting it ready for their child. While Santana sat on conference calls, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her feet, cold, even in her thick socks, Brittany would bring her hot chocolate. She’d keep a stack of blankets nearby, she’d keep the fire going, and every time she’d come in from doing something out in the barn, she’d give Santana this smile, a smile that made her finally feel warm. And then, like she did probably dozens of times throughout the day, she’d kiss her lips, and then her belly. She’d tell them both that she loved them, she’d tell Santana that she was sexier than ever, and then Santana would invite her underneath her blanket, to cuddle with her, to feel the changes in her body.
But winter is over. The snow has melted, replaced by a misty rain constantly, and the hand on Santana’s belly isn’t Brittany’s, even if it smells like her. The sound of the door opening doesn’t mean her wife is home, and as much as this means to Santana, as important as everything that’s happening in her career is, there’s really, truly, somewhere she’d much rather be.
“Are you kidding me with this?” Kurt’s shrill voice cuts through the peaceful silence Santana had all day, when he comes back into his apartment. Santana is sprawled on the couch, the arm of the girlfriend pillow Brittany sent her half wrapped around her body, one hand resting on the swell of her belly.
“Shut up, I’ve been away from my wife and the mother of my child for six weeks. I’ll use my pillow wife’s hands if I want to. Don’t pretend like you weren’t holding your pillow boyfriend’s hand while you slept last night either. I saw you.”
“You haven’t been away from her for six weeks, you just saw her two weeks ago. You can’t just count all the weeks of your tour as time away from her.”
“I can do what I want. Right, pillow Britt?”
"Oh my god. You’re talking to a pillow. A pillow, Santana.”
“Leave me alone. I miss my wife.” She glares at him. “Don’t you have important Kurt things to be doing?”
"Do you know what it is I actually do? “
"Besides be extraordinarily gay?” She snaps, and Kurt looks her up and down.
"Really, pillow lady?” She rolls her eyes at him, but he continues. "I’m afraid to leave you alone with that thing. You probably….violate it.” She chunks a throw pillow at him, and he feigns a gag. "Taking phone sex to a whole new level”
“Don’t you have better things to do than harass a sad pregnant woman?”
"Oh, don’t play the pregnant card, Chubs”
“How dare you?” She gasps, then it only takes her a minute before she gets emotional. ”I’m getting so fat! I won’t even be able to fit through the door by the time I’m due! I’ll have to sleep in the barn!”
“Oh no.” His eyes widen, and she starts to cry.
“God, Kurt, I thought you didn’t notice.”
"I didn’t! I was just kidding Santana! Oh God. Brittany’s going to kill me.”
"Why? Did she call to tell you not to tell me I’m fat?”
"No! Santana I promise i was just kidding. I was being a jerk. I’m sorry, you pull off pregnancy like most women wish they could.”
Santana snuggles back into her Brittany pillow, sniffling and pulling the hood of her sweatshirt up. She really wants that stupid ice cream in the freezer. She misses Brittany and she wants to be home on their farm on their couch snuggling with her. She’s hungry and sad and lonely and…sort of a little bit horny all at once. She pulls the strings on her hood, nearly covering her face, and she breathes Brittany’s scent in, just as her phone vibrates in her pocket.
and she feels her phone vibrating in her pocket. She grins seeing Brittany’s face lighting up the screen.
“Hi, Britt.” She answers, her voice small and soft.
Kurt sighs out in relief, ”Thank god.”
Santana glares at him, and he holds his hands up, backing out of his own living room.
“Santana, baby, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing…I miss you. I want to come home so much.”
Brittany sighs, “I miss you too baby. So so much.”
“I just want you to hold me and eat ice cream with me, and kiss the baby.”
"Oh San, I want that too more than anything. Only another fifteen days, and I promise I’ll hold you as long as you’ll let me.”
"You’ll never let me go?”
“I don’t want to go to Boston, you don’t even know yet if you can come…” Santana whimpers a little. It’s pathetic, she knows it’s pathetic, but ever since Mercedes suggested Brittany come meet her in Boston, she’s been hoping, maybe even praying that it could happen. This whole thing was timed so poorly. If it had been winter, she could have come with her, they could have seen all these cities together, and Santana wouldn’t have felt so awful. But it’s March, and Brittany has an actual job, a company to run. She’s the best in the country—the world, if Santana has anything to say about it—and she has too much going on to drop it and follow her wife around.
“I’ll be there.” Brittany answers immediately.
“Really. Dave has things under control here and we finished up the bulk of this project early. I’ll be there, honey.” Santana lets out a shaky breath, and Brittany furrows her brow. ”Babe? You okay?”
"I just really needed to hear that tonight. I feel fat and my back hurts”
"I’m sorry my love. I wish I could massage your back for you”
Brittany sighs. It’s hard for her, not as hard for Santana, she things, but it breaks her heart when Santana is sad. Even wrapped in one of her Pierce Landscaping sweatshirts, with the pillow hand on her belly—the pillow that Brittany sent to her in Atlanta, the first week of the tour, when they both realized this was going to be harder than they thought—and even with the gifts that Brittany sends her in every city, it’s just not the same as being there. Work keeps her busy during the day, but even with Santana able to spend a weekend at home two weeks ago, it kills her to be away, to miss parts of her pregnancy, to have her feel completely different when she actually is in her arms, then she had the last time. It kills her that there’s a real possibility that Santana will feel their son kick on the outside, and she won’t be there to feel it too.
But in a few days, she’ll be in Boston. She’s going to be there to watch Santana charm a whole audience of people, and then she’s going to take her back to the hotel room and hold her and kiss her and love her all night. She’s going to cherish every single second they have together And then, it’ll only be one more week. One more week and she’s already told Dave she’s taking a couple of days off. She needs that time. She knows Santana will be exhausted after being on the road for so long and she wants to take care of her. One more week, and she’ll be closing her tour at the tiny Copper Hollow book store. The whole town is going to be there, and God, Brittany is so proud of her. She and Gram are going to right there in the shop, and then it’s done. Then she can take her home, and feed her all the things she loves, and give her the flowers, and run them a bath, massage her sore back and feet, and talk to her little baby Pierce
While Santana was gone she started painting the nursery. She wanted to surprise Santana when she got back, but she got to see it when she came home for two days. It’s starting to feel like a baby’s room, even though they’re waiting to buy furniture until she’s further along. But she’s painting their baby’s room. Their baby. She’s putting so much care into it, into making it bright and happy. It overlooks the barn just like her and Santana’s room, and now with all the green coming back, it’s amazing. She can’t wait to sit in the rocking chair with the baby, and look out over all of it. Brittany shakes her head, she can’t believe how much she misses someone who isn’t born yet. It’s such a deep ache too. Like she never imagined it would be like this, but when they’re not in her arms at night, it’s so hard. Hearing Santana cry, it kills her, and right now, just looking at her face, she could cry herself.
She’s in New York, she’s in the place she used to live. Kurt is there, Mercedes is there, even even though she’s getting upset about her clothes not fitting or her sense of personal space being off, she’s with people who love her.
“I got the stuff you sent me from the bakery today. I ate it all in like…eleven minutes.”
“Did you?” Brittany laughs, the way Santana licks her lips just thinking about it so adorable.
“Yeah. I think maybe we should see if they want to franchise. Like, if I ran a bakery in Copper Hollow, I would never have to leave again. And you could come in and kiss me all day long, and I could eat pastries, and be fat, and no one would say anything, ‘cuz duh, if I own a bakery, I should totally be fat and happy.”
“I just really want you to have the donuts from this bakery.”
“Honey, you’re not due until September. What if we made a weekend of it later in the summer? Came down to New York, you show me everything you want?”
“Of course, if you’re up for it after all your traveling.”
"I think I will be, its different if I get to travel with you. But I’m not staying with fucking Kurt.”
“I can hear you!” He calls out from his bedroom.
“It wasn’t a secret!” She yells back, but stop listening in on my conversation! Aren’t you going out, anyway?”
“You’re not going with him?” Brittany raises an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to go to the gallery opening with him.”
“Don’t wanna.” She shrugs, as Kurt comes out of his room in a new outfit. “I don’t wanna stuff myself like a sausage into an evening gown.”
“I told her the dress looked good on her.” Kurt swears.
“Whatever, I’m tired, my feet hurt, I don’t wanna go anymore. I’m gonna stay here and eat ice cream and talk to my wife.”
“I left the address on the counter, if you change your mind.” He picks up his bag. “But leave the pillow home.”
“Goodbye, Kurt.” Brittany gives an exaggerated roll of her eyes, which makes Santana giggle and stick her tongue out at him when he walks out the door. "I’m really excited for Boston, Santana.”
“Me too. I can’t wait to see you. Baby Pierce is waiting for you to move, I know it, he’s going to hold out.” Santana gets teary again, and Brittany can hear that she’s really begging the baby to wait.
"Even if he doesn’t wait, I’ll get to feel him soon, I have no doubt. Isn’t that right baby boy?” Santana presses the phone to her belly, and as soon as the screen goes dark, Brittany coos. "Hello my little one, are you enjoying traveling all over the place with Mama? I miss you guys so much, and I have surprises for you when you get home in a few weeks.”
Santana brings the phone up, “Surprises?”
“That wasn’t for you to hear, sweetheart”
Santana bites her lip and looks at Brittany’s face on the screen with adoration, “Already telling secrets? I’m going to have to keep my eyes and ears on you two”
She puts her hand back on her belly and she sinks down into the pillows on Kurt’s couch. “Only five more days Britt.“
“Five more days, and I’ll have you in my arms again.”
Santana doesn’t want to think about the fact that it’s only for a few days. She can’t let herself be reminded or she’ll start crying again. This is the biggest moment of her career. She needs to be excited…She needs to have her head in this for her readers. She’s just in awe how many she has. They were in Washington DC when she called Brittany happy crying that she’d made the NYT best seller list She never ever thought she’d be there, it definitely wasn’t her goal when she set out. She’d just wanted to tell her story the first time and get it out of her, and now she ends up with characters in her head, and the words, they just pour out sometimes. She gets in a zone, and Brittany comes home and finds her completely immersed.
That’s Brittany’s surprise, a testament to that. She loves seeing her so passionate, and she’s so glad that after she went through Santana gets to do what she loves. It was a tough road getting there, but god, she got there and its beautiful. She deserves all of the good things. She’s taken all the reviews and framed them in Santana’s office. She can’t wait to see her face when she sees that, when she sees all in one place, what people think of her, and what Brittany thinks of her. The reviews mean so much to her, that Brittany doesn’t even frame them herself, she has Keith at the frame shop do it. And Gram might even be worse. She has been harassing Rachel about commemorating this. The book signing in Copper Hollow is going to be a huge deal. Santana doesn’t know how big, and she hopes its not too overwhelming
Santana adjusts her shirt, and she presses her hand down on her belly, the wiggling still only deep inside of her. “He’s really moving in there Britt. Maybe this weekend it’ll happen.”
"I hope so, I can’t wait to feel him. God.”
“I can’t wait for you to feel him too, but I’m so glad he’s holding off”
“Me too. Just a few more days little guy, then you can wiggle all you want to.” She smiles softly. “He’s moving more inside though San?”
“Yeah, yeah he is. It feels so weird, knowing that he’s really in there It is, its like.. feeling him, makes it real. I mean of course its real, but this is real tangible evidence. I’m not just getting fat.”
"San, you’re gorgeous baby.”
Santana holds the phone away from her and she pulls up her shirt a little, ”It’s getting bigger though, really.”
Brittany bites her lip and grins, “It is, our boy is in there.”
Santana starts getting really emotional again. She hates seeing her on a screen. “God, this is so hard Britt. I don’t know how people do this long term. I just…my heart hurts.”
"Mine does too, but it’s only for a little while longer and then you’ll be home.”
"I miss our bed, and being in it with you.”
"Soon, my love. And we won’t get out of it for a week when you get back.” Santana closes her eyes. ”I’ll make you breakfast lunch and dinner, and we’ll eat in bed. We’ll only get out for baths and other necessities.”
"God, you don’t know how good that sounds. I need to be naked and have you wrapped around me.”
"Trust me, thats exactly whats going to happen.”
"I swear Britt, my body just needs you. It’s different than ever before.”
"I’m sorry I’m not there, i promise I’ll make it up to you very soon though honey. I need you too.”
“I never want to leave again.” Santana sniffles.
“Hopefully next time, I can plan to go with you. We’ll talk to Mercedes and see if we can schedule it better.”
"Next time we’re gonna have our baby, Britt.”
Brittany grins, "Yeah we are.”
"I definitely won’t be able to be away, or take the baby away for six weeks.”
"Yeah that’ll be too much, theres no way. Maybe we could stretch it out, instead fitting all the cities into six weeks, do a city every couple of weeks or so. I don’t know…”
“Yeah, I mean…I have to write the book first.”
Brittany laughs, "Thats true, we have some time to work out the details I guess.”
“I was thinking about taking a bath…”
"I can let you go if you want to get in the bath.”
"Do you…do you maybe want to take a bath with me?”
"I would love to take a bath with you.” Brittany smiles softly.
“Yeah, definitely. You’re so smart babe.”
“I wish Pillow Britt was waterproof”
"I wish I had a Pillow Santana. I’ve been sleeping on your pillow every night.” She laughs a little, "It’s starting to lose your smell.”
Santana thinks she should send Brittany a pillow Santana. It doesn’t matter that after this next weekend together it’s only two more weeks. Two weeks of sleeping alone, only seeing each other through a screen. It’s hard too, because Santana knows Brittany is bone tired from working so much, and she usually takes extra care of her this time of year. And she hates that all these new things are happening to her body that Brittany is missing. When she had to buy a pair of maternity jeans last week in Richmond, she’d cried her eyes out. Mercedes is great, she’s an amazing friend, and she’s glad they’re on the road together, but it’s not the same. This is Brittany’s baby.
Going into the kitchen, Santana pours herself the one small glass of wine that Rita, her midwife, told her she could have. She hadn’t indulged in one until the night she first got to New York after a four hour flight delay, exhausted, achey, and hysterical on the phone with Brittany. The wine calmed her down, and now, this is the second time she’s having one. She takes the phone and her wine, and goes into the guest bathroom and starts running the water and dumping in Kurt’s stupid expensive bubble bath. She can see Brittany turning on the tap in their bathroom at home and testing the temperature. She sniffs Brittany’s sweatshirt before she pulls it over her head
Brittany watches her, ”I’ll bring you a new one this weekend okay?“
Santana nods a little, feeling her chest clench. Brittany slips her work shirt over her head and stretches her shoulders. Before Santana takes her tank top off, she watches Brittany unclasp her bra.
"I don’t know if this was a good idea or not…”
“Baby, whatever you need, we’ll figure it out.”
“I need you.”
Brittany squeezes her eyes shut so she doesn’t cry, ”I’m right here, sweetheart. Just a few more days right?”
"Just a few more days.” Santana undresses quickly.
"Let me see you, San.”
Santana holds the phone out, so Brittany can take in her naked form. It’s just…something else
“God San…You are just…you’re absolutely stunning.”
“Pregnancy suits you, Santana. You don’t even know what this does to me right now.” She can see Santana blushing, and her fingers twitch a little where she let them rest on her belly. She shivers, and Brittany smiles.
"Go ahead and get in the bath, baby, warm up.”
Santana puts the phone on the ledge at her feet so Brittany can see her still and slips under the water. She sighs as the water washes over her. She’s been wearing heels all the time, and since she never wears them in Copper Hollow, her back aches worse than it normally would. She watches as Brittany slips down into the water in their tub, her muscles ripple and God, Santana wants her.
“Sorry I’m fine.”
"Baby, Kurt’s not home, you’ve got me on the phone.”
She bites her lip because… she’s in Kurt’s guest bathroom and its weird. "Britt, I’m not in a hotel room.”
"Honey, Kurt has three bathrooms and he lives alone. He’s not going to know. But if you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to do anything okay?” Santana’s neck flushes hot. It doesn’t matter that this is how they’ve been getting through, she gets shy every time. Brittany smiles at her softly "You’re so beautiful.”
She ducks her head, "Not helping when you look at me like that”
Brittany laughs, "I can’t help it. You want me to look away?”
And Santana lowers her voice and shakes her head "No, we’re going to never speak of this in front of Kurt Hummel, but we’re going to pretend we’re together right now.”
"My lips are sealed honey.”
Brittany talks to her the whole time. She watches her, as her left hand slips below the water. She watches as her back arches up. She watches as she twists a little, as she moans, as she whimpers Brittany’s name. She watches as she comes apart, and then, then the realization that it was all a fantasy sets in again. That it’s not Brittany’s fingers inside of her, that she’s not holding her tight. When she’s limp in the tub, it’s so hard, because she’s fulfilled physically but emotionally…emotionally she’s wrecked. Brittany struggles as she sees the tears running down Santana’s cheeks, and she feels her own welling up. Pretending she’s there, listening to her instructions, getting caught up in the moment, the come down just fucks with her, and it’s hard to watch.
"Sweetheart, love, come on, we’re getting out of the tub now, me and you.”
Santana nods and clenches her eyes closed before standing up. Brittany just wants her in cozy sweat pants and back in her sweatshirt with the pillow around her.
They get dried off together, and Brittany murmurs, ”Get some comfy sweats on honey.”
Santana nods and goes into her suitcase, while Brittany pulls her own pajamas on.
“Honey please don’t cry.”
"I’m sorry, I’m trying not to. I just miss you so much.”
"I know, sweetheart. I miss you too, come on, come back in the living room and get your pillow.”
"Okay, I’m gonna order you a me pillow. Okay?”
"You want to wrap me up in a hug too, San?”
"Yeah I do”
"I’d love that, so, so much.”
"Of course. I’ll put your grey sweater on her.”
Santana smiles, feeling a little better. She’s got her Brittany pillow around her and her hand on her belly
“Soon, so soon, those will be my arms around you.”
"How mad do you think Kurt will be if I go to bed before he gets home?”
Brittany laughs, "He’ll get over it. Sleep if you’re tired baby. You need the rest.”
Santana gets up off the couch, and she brings the pillow back into the bedroom, ”Stay on with me?”
Santana gets under the blankets, she lays Brittany on the pillow next to her as she adjusts Pillow Britt and puts her hands on her belly
“Warm and comfy? How’s our boy doing?”
"Quiet now. I think he’s tired too.”
"It’s been a long day. He must get sleepy after warm baths just like his mama.”
"Mama is tired from more that the bath.” Santana smiles and stretches out her arms.
Brittany grins at her, "Well he doesn’t have to know that part.”
"You take the best care of me, even from miles and miles away.”
"I always will baby. You take the best care of me too. You always know exactly how to relax me after a long day.”
"I hope you’re relaxed now.”
"I’m very relaxed.”
“Good.” Santana yawns big.
“Go to sleep my love. I’m right here.” Santana snuggles into the pillow and sniffles again. ”Don’t cry baby.”
"I’m trying really hard.”
"I know, I know you are. I am too. I love you. You and baby Pierce. I love you with everything.”
"We love you too. So so much.”
Brittany stays on the phone with her until she drifts off to sleep, and she watches her just a little longer before she hangs up, "Goodnight, my loves.”
Five days feel like an eternity, waiting for Boston, and when the day comes, Brittany is practically bouncing standing outside the arrival gate for Santana’s flight to get into Logan. She’s got flowers in her arms and her little carry on suitcase. She’s stretching up on her tip toes to look over the crowd, and she sees Santana coming down the jetway with Mercedes in leggings and a long shirt. Her heart squeezes so tightly. Her tiny little belly is protruding, and the minute she sees Brittany, she runs toward her, and Brittany drops the flowers and catches her up in her arms.
"Oh God.” Santana is crying and clinging to Brittany.
"I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”
"You’re here, you’re really here.”
"I’m right here. God, I’ve missed you.” Brittany whispers, as Santana just cries. She’s an emotional wreck, and Brittany just hold her close and kisses her neck and cheeks, gasping when Santana puts Brittany’s hands on her belly.
"Mommy’s here now, little guy, she’s got us”
"Oh my god, you really have a belly! Hello, little boy. I’ve missed you too.”
"He…I could feel him on the plane.” Santana murmurs. “He knew today was the day Just….keep your hands there in case he does it again.”
Brittany sets her down and kneels down so that she’s face to face with her belly. "Hello little love, were you moving for Mama earlier?” Santana threads her hands through Brittany’s hair. She doesn’t care that they’re in the middle of an airport, or that Mercedes probably thinks she’s insane. Brittany leans forward and kisses her belly "God, you have a belly. I know it was there on FaceTime, but…”
Santana laughs a little and sniffles, "I have a belly, he’s really in there Britt.”
"You look beautiful, San. More beautiful than ever.”
"Thank you baby.” She wishes he would move right now, but she thinks he’s sleeping, and she needs Brittany’s arms back around her. She slides her hands from Brittany’s hair around to her cheeks and guides her back up. "I didn’t even kiss your mouth yet.”
Brittany leans in before she even finishes talking, and Santana feel like she can breathe again.
"Oh Lord.” Mercedes mutters from behind them.
Santana doesn’t even pull away from Brittany’s mouth before mumbling, "Shut up, Mercedes”
Mercedes chuckles, "I’m going to go get some coffee, I’ll be back.”
"Bring me a bottle of ginger ale?”
“You need anything, Britt?”
"I’ve got everything I need right here.”
Mercedes walks away, and Santana is still clinging to Brittany and Brittany caresses her cheek, "Ginger ale, honey? Is your stomach okay?”
"Yeah, its fine, just a little upset. Nothing serious I promise.”
Brittany rubs it a little "I need to send Mercedes a massive gift basket for doing the things like this that I haven’t been here for.”
Santana just kisses her, "You’re here now. God you’re even more beautiful than I remember. FaceTime doesn’t do you justice.”
"Three whole days.” Brittany keep kissing her.
“Three whole days. I just have the book thing this afternoon and then I’m all yours.”
"I changed my flight, San. I want to be here for your panel Sunday afternoon. I’m taking the super early flight Monday and I’ll go straight to work.”
"Are you sure baby? Thats a lot… Not that I don’t want you here, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself at work because you’re so exhausted.”
"It’s okay, I’ll sleep on the plane, and Dave is on site with me Monday. I just want the time with you.”
"I want time with you too, and I’m selfishly glad I get you for an extra night.”
Brittany whispers in her ear "I need to make sure you’re taken care of when I can hold you in my arms for hours afterwards.”
Santana closes her eyes and groans a little before checking her watch.It’s been the worst thing the way her hormones have kicked up, and no matter what, she just doesn’t feel satisfied,
"I have a couple of hours until I need to be at the signing.”
"I think…we need to go check into our hotel room as soon as Mercedes gets back.”
Brittany nods rapidly. She can’t wait for this. She needs to get her into her arms, their skin on skin.
“‘Cedes, I need some rest before the signing.” Santana tells her, immediately opening the bottle of ginger ale and sipping it as soon as she comes back from the coffee cart.
Mercedes looks between the two of them and rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything, "Go rest . Just be there by two okay?
"I wouldn’t miss it.”
Mercedes smiles, "I’m glad you’re here Brittany.”
She’s still got her arms so tight around Santana, and she smiles softly at Mercedes "Thank you so much Mercedes, for taking good care of them.”
"Anytime. Now go, go take care of your wife. I’ll see you two later.”
They get Santana’s luggage, and she’s still holding on to Brittany even as they get in a cab
Brittany pulls her almost into her lap and kisses her again
"I think I’m not going to let go of you for three days. Me and baby Pierce, we just…we missed you”
"Oh baby, I missed you both too, so much. I’m not letting you go either, unless i absolutely have to.”
"I don’t want you to leave.” Santana reiterates, already feeling a pit in her stomach, even though their weekend hasn’t started.
"I know baby, but let’s focus on the three whole days we have together okay?”
"I’m trying. Did you…did you bring me a new shirt?”
Brittany kisses her again, "Of course i did.”
And Santana nods her head "I guess I can send the other one out with my laundry then. Mercedes is kind of getting grossed out.”
Brittany laughs, "How about this, I’ll take it back with me, and I’ll send you a new one every week until you get home. That way you don’t have to worry about it.” Santana just tucks her face into Brittany’s neck and nods, this really overwhelming for her. "You okay baby?”
She shrugs her shoulders, ”Just so happy this is real"
“Me too. It’s only been a few weeks but it honestly feels like months.”
“Do I feel really different to you Britt?“
"You do and you don’t, you have all these new curves but you still feel like Santana. “
"I feel huge.”
"You look gorgeous.” Brittany leans in, “It’s driving me crazy San. As soon as I have you alone, I won’t be able to control myself. I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do to you for weeks, but seeing you like this…it’s so much more. Don’t ever think you’re not the most beautiful woman in the world.”
"God… come here” Brittany laughs a little, because there’s not much closer she can get. Santana brings her lips to Brittany’s neck and nips, "You have no idea, how much i need you. It’s just not the same doing it myself.” Brittany has to take a deep breath, because it doesn’t matter that she’s been there with her, the visual gets her every time. “It’s not the same when it’s not your hands, and your lips and your breath on my skin.”
Santana flicks her tongue out and catches Brittany’s ear lobe, ”How you feel right now, it’s how I’ve felt since I saw you last. This isn’t the part of my pregnancy we should have been apart for"
“This was terrible planning on our parts.” Brittany murmurs, eyes closed as Santana continues to breathe in her ear.
“Tell me about it. I’ve always wanted you, but this is another dimension.”
“Santana…” Brittany is almost panting.
“I can’t help myself, Brittany.”
Brittany looks out the window, "God are we almost to the hotel?”
"That’s how I felt since I woke up today”
They finally pull up to the hotel and Brittany helps Santana out of the cab. They barely check in and make it up to the room before Brittany is undressing Santana. She needs to see her, she needs to touch her, she needs to kiss her everywhere. She doesn’t waste time, and she’s so gentle, even as Santana is insistent. She takes her time making love to her, and when Santana rolls on top of her, sweaty and out of breath, she’s in absolute heaven.
Afterward, Santana is tucked into Brittany, head on her chest, listening to her heart beat, shivering at the way Brittany’s hands roam over her stomach. She really hates that they have somewhere to be soon. She made dinner reservations for after her signing, because Brittany came here and she just wants to take her out but she would stay just like like forever. She plans on not leaving the hotel room after tonight until Sunday when she has her panel. The way Brittany’s rubbing both hands over the swell of her belly is almost too much, Brittany’s lips and hands haven’t left her body the whole time they’ve been in bed. This is the first time Santana has felt sated in weeks. She can barely move she feels so good, she didn’t cry after she came, she’s just lying there, letting Brittany keep caressing her. She’s got her hands running through Brittany’s hair.
Brittany looks up at her with a grin, "I’m right here.”
Santana doesn’t even know how to handle herself. She’s had to put on such a facade professionally, but now she can be herself and it’s just overwhelming. She knows she needs to shower and get dressed, but leaving their little cocoon, after so much time apart, feels pretty impossible. The baby is moving, and she’s afraid to move in case Brittany can feel him from the outside. It was so faint on the plane, but it happened. She felt the tiny taps on her hand, and she just needs Brittany to feel it too.
“He’s awake, Britt.”
"Is he?” She stills her hands and presses just a little more firmly.
“He is. Baby boy you want to move for mommy?” Santana closes her eyes, and she wants this to happen so badly. "Come on baby boy. We’ve only got mommy with us for a few days.”
Brittany presses her hands, and slides down a little, kissing Santana’s belly button and rubbing her thumbs over taut skin. ”Come say hi to mommy, little one.”
“I can feel him moving around, he moves when you talk to him Britt.”
Hearing that just brings tears to Brittany’s eyes. She’s missed so much being able to do this, and she kisses her belly again, “Hi my little love, I missed you so much when you were gone. You and mama have been having such an adventure, and I’m glad I get to be here for this part.”
Santana is teary eyed, as she puts her hand on Brittany’s cheek and just holds it there, ”I love you so much”
“I love you too. Both of you”
"Mama’s gotta work, baby, what do you think? Can you move before I need to take a shower?”
It takes a few more minutes, and it’s so, so faint when it happens, but it’s there, he’s there. Brittany looks up at Santana with tears in her eyes.
"He’s there. He…I felt him.”
Santana just starts sobbing again, and Brittany gathers her in her arms, letting Santana kiss her all over, laughing and crying all at once, “My loves, both of you.”
“I’m so glad you got to feel.”
"Me too, our boy, San. Our boy.”
“God, if this baby isn’t a boy, she’s going to be so pissed at me”
Brittany belly laughs, ”She’ll forgive you, I think.“
"I hope so”
Brittany just kisses her again, ”I wish I could stay like this forever, love, but I know it’s going to take awhile to get ready.”
Santana sighs and nods, "I know, I just, don’t want to let you go. “
"You don’t have to, at least until we get out of the shower. And its only for a couple of hours, and then dinner and then I’m yours. I’m really excited to see you read tonight.”
Santana gets a little shy, blushing and too adorable for words, “Yeah?”
"Of course. I love the book, and I love when you talk about the characters. I’m really really proud of you Santana. I know it’s been so hard being on tour, but you deserve every moment of this”
“Thank you Britt. That means the world to me.”
"My famous writer wife.”
Santana giggles, "Being your wife is the most important part of that sentence. I wouldn’t be here without you.”
"You would have, you’re so talented with words, honey.”
“Thank you. You wanna take a shower with me now?”
“I absolutely do.”
They shower and get ready, and while Santana is all dressed up, Brittany is in jeans and a sweater so she can just sit in the audience without any attention being taken off of Santana. They find Mercedes in the lobby, and they share a cab to the bookstore. When they get there, Brittany can’t help but make Santana stand in front of the "Santana Lopez” sign, taking picture after picture, no matter how much Santana rolls her eyes, giggling.
“Go ahead, stand under it with her, Brittany, I’ll get a picture of you both.”
"Awesome, you’re the best ‘Cedes.”
She wraps her arms around Santana and kisses her cheek as Mercedes snaps the picture.
“This is already the best night of the tour ‘Ce.”
“I bet it is, you two are too adorable for your own good.”
"I just really missed her.”
And Mercedes rolls her eyes a little, “Did you? I never would have guessed.”
"Shut up, I wasn’t that bad.”
"Really? Because I seem to recall in Philly, when I asked if you needed anything, you whined about how you ’just want Brittany to rub your back’”
Santana blushes and lifts her chin a little, “I’d been standing forever and it hurt. These heels are murder Cedes.”
"I won’t even tell Brittany what you said when I offered to schedule you a massage”
"Shhhhhhh, alright, should we go inside guys!?”
Brittany laughs "Well now I need to know”
"It wasn’t even that bad. I don’t know what she’s even talking about.”
"Really? Because you were absolutely ridiculous and going on and on about how good Brittany’s massages were, and you swear she should be real massage therapist, and how you feel like you’re melting when she touches you.”
“Although I still stand by that statement. No one could even come close to comparing anyways.”
Mercedes continues, mimicking Santana’s voice “’And they can’t kiss me and tell me they love me and rub my new belly’"
“Aww baby, you’re so cute.” Brittany kisses her dimple, relishing in how she blushes. She usually is so reserved, but this baby is bringing out all her sap “”I’ll give you a massage later okay? A really good one.”
Santana waggles her eye brows a little, making Brittany giggle, “Exactly.”
“Let’s get inside before we end up being late.” Mercedes laughs at them.
Brittany kisses her one more time before leading her inside. It’s pretty amazing seeing the big stacks of Santana’s book, and her face on the signs, "Look at you San.”
And Santana mirrors her pose in the big pictures, the same one from the back of her book, and she makes Brittany giggle, ”So vogue. Important question? Are you going to sign my book for me?”
“I will sign all the books you want baby.”
“I’ve been reading it every night before bed. I’m on my third read.”
Santana beams, taking out her pen and signs Brittany’s book, before she goes to find a seat in the second row. No one’s allowed in yet, but she figures she’ll save the very first for Santana’s fans. Santana sits up in the front with her book in her lap, and Brittany can see her tiny belly in the tight dress she’s wearing. Brittany knows she has that goofy grin on her face watching her, but she can’t help it. She looks so beautiful, she has that pregnancy glow and it looks so good on her. She looks so proud of herself, and she should be. Being this accomplished lesbian author is kind of a huge deal. She knows how much of a difference it makes to her younger fans. This is the kind story that didn’t exist when they were kids, the kind that they wanted so badly, to prove that they weren’t broken, and now, now they have this, because of people like Santana. God, seeing her with the young girls, it makes Brittany’s heart swell. She’s going to be the best mom. She’s so soft and gentle with them and she smiles so genuinely. The kids mean the most to Santana. The adults who have figured it out, it’s different, but the girls who still are…those are the ones that Santana spends extra time with when she can, letting them talk and listening. She’s only seen it once, when they’d gone out to dinner to celebrate the book release, but she’s most excited for that tonight.
"I love you.” Santana waves over to her and mouths, as people file in.
"I love you too.”
Everyone gets seated, and Santana just has one hand on her belly. She looks so comfortable up there, she was born to do this, both the motherhood thing and the book thing. She loves seeing her like this, in her element.
"Hi everyone.” She does her little giggle “Thank you all so much for coming. It’s still pretty crazy to me that you’re all reading something I wrote. Home At Last is really, really special to me, and I’m still in awe that it’s an actual book.”
Everyone claps and Brittany hears some laughing along with Santana.
“Okay, so, I have to tell you guys something.” There’s soft murmuring in the crowd, and Santana shakes her head, eyes crinkling. "No, no, I think me being pregnant is pretty obvious, isn’t it? But there’s someone really special to me in the audience with you tonight.”
White everyone looks around, trying to figure out who she’s talking about, Brittany stays mute. She gives Santana her moment, but she can’t stop grinning.
“She’s not going to give herself away, but my wife is here tonight. So I’m going to try to not mess up, because I’ve been away from her for weeks, and this is her first time at one of my signings.” The crowd awws and Santana laughs and rolls her eyes playfully, “Let me let you in on an exclusive secret. Brittany let me borrow a little of her personality to base Alice on.”
"Does that mean this is kind of the story of the two of you?” Someone asks.
“I think..I think it’s more like a story of us, if we’d met in a big city ten years ago.” Brittany smiles at her and nods. ”Beatrice definitely shares some traits with me, but they’re also their own characters.”
"Where did you get the inspiration for the story? Your first book was a memoir right?”
"It was, if you’ve read it, you know I went through a rough time, and I needed to get all of that out before I could begin my new life. This new book, it sort of comes from that same place of trying to find myself. Beatrice hasn’t quite found herself yet, and she’s sort of taken by surprise by Alice, and questions everything she thought she knew.”
"I saw that there might be a sequel, do you already have it planned out or…”
“I haven’t. We’ll see what happens, my next novel is already planned, but I think where we left Alice and Beatrice, there’s a possibility for more.”
"Can I ask you a personal question?” A girl in the back asks. Santana nods a little, the way her hand is on her belly telling Brittany that the baby is moving. “Sure.”
"You talk a lot about Alice discovering who she is in the book. Did you struggle with finding a sexual identity?”
"Ahh, good question!” Brittany watches her take a breath. Santana knows the girl didn’t read her first book. "I came out when I was sixteen. With the exception of my grandmother, I was mostly accepted, but when I developed my professional persona in New York, I made the choice to keep my sexual orientation to myself.”
"So you went back in the closet?”
"At work, yes.”
"You’re out now, what changed? I mean, I know you’re married and that’s a little hard to hide, but what made you decide to be out as a writer?”
"After I quit my job and moved out of the city, I couldn’t continue to do what I did. Hiding myself caused so much anxiety to me. Copper Hollow is a little behind the times, but my wife is their sweetheart.” Brittany blushes a tiny bit at Santana’s comment. "Almost the whole town was at our wedding. It’s funny, coming to a place that’s less open and accepting, I found more acceptance than it did in New York.”
The young girl sits down and Santana smiles at Brittany, ”I know how lucky I am. This right here, it’s just something I couldn’t have imagined when I was living in hiding. Coming out and being out is scary, I remember what it was like to be sixteen, and scared out of my mind at what it would mean. But now, with my wife and our lives together, I wouldn’t change anything. If I hadn’t accepted who I am, I couldn’t have found this love and acceptance. I know that I’ll be bringing my child into a place where they are loved.”
The clapping is so loud, and Brittany claps right along with them. She loves that they are in a place where she knows that’s true. They may not entirely understand the two married women, but they’ve always loved Brittany, and she’s sure, beyond anything else, that they’ll all love baby Pierce.
“I have a silly question, do you want a boy or a girl?”
Santana laughs a little "I know it’s cliche, but I just really want a healthy baby. I’m just so thrilled to carry a baby that’s going to belong to me and the woman I love.”
“How is your pregnancy going?”
"It’s going well! The baby has been moving around more and my morning sickness has subsided so that’s a plus! The worst part is being away from my wife right now. I hate that she’s missing these big moments for us.” Awws sound across the room, and Santana giggles. ”She’s been trying to meet me at a few stops along the tour which really really helps. But trust me, it’s definitely killing me. I might have cried a lot in the airport today. We don’t spend a whole lot of time apart usually so this has been an adjustment for both of us.”
"Are you taking the rest of your pregnancy easy, or do you have more book plans?”
"Oh no, I’m definitely taking it easy, I might work through some ideas for my next book, but as far as more tours, I’m definitely done. I need to go home and "nest” for a while.“ Santana laughs. “Brittany’s busy season is here, but I really look forward to just cooking dinner for my wife and resting.”
"What does your wife do?”
Santana smiles, and her eyes drift over to Brittany "She’s a landscape architect. The best in the world, I swear.” Brittany tries not to respond, as to not give herself away, but she laughs into her hand. “That’s how we met. I inherited an old an old farm, and I picked a number at random Lo and behold, this woman answered the phone and agreed to come out and take a look. I just needed a friend, and it turned out, she was so much more”
The crowd is just eating this up, the young kids are so interested in what Santana is saying. Brittany loves that she’s telling them this, giving them some hope.
“I yelled at her the first time she took me out.” Brittany laughs out loud when Santana says that, then shakes her head at herself. "I just didn’t think she could get it, but she put me right in my place. Trust me, I was so afraid of falling in love, when she kissed me in the rain, I didn’t even know what this feeling was She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Sorry, I’m not normally this sappy!”
“Where is she?” Someone yells, and Santana laughs out loud, while Brittany bites her lip, trying to decide.
“Up to you, babe.” She mouths.
Deciding to go with it, Brittany grins, stands up and waves, "Hi guys.”
“C'mon up, Britt.” Santana crooks her finger, and Brittany makes her way up to the front.
Santana wraps her arms around Brittany’s waist, as rests her head, just for an instant, on her shoulder, "Guys, this is my lady love”
“She’s hot!” Someone calls out, making Brittany blush profusely.
"Isn’t she though?” Santana laughs. "I missed this lady so much.”
"I definitely missed her too. “
"Have you read her book?”
"Absolutely! I’m on about my third read through right now. You guys love it, right?”
The crowd claps and whoops at Brittany’s question, and Santana blushes, “Thank you all. Now let me read before I start crying. These pregnancy hormones are making me a mess.”
Brittany leans over and kisses her cheek and whispers, "You’re doing great baby”
Brittany takes her seat again, giving Santana back her spotlight, and she watches Santana slowly crack open the book. She’s always amazed by how articulate she is when she reads from the pages, of something—even the newspaper at home—and she’s just as enthralled as the rest of the audience. She reads for nearly a half hour, getting completely into her characters, until suddenly, right at Brittany’s favorite part, she closes the book with a wry grin.
“Alright guys, that’s all I’ve got but i want to thank every one of you for taking the time out of your busy days to come and spend a little time with me. It means so much to me that you were here.”
She makes her way back to the table to sign, and Brittany watches the way she rubs her belly beneath it. She’s loves seeing her do this so so much, but she’s aching to get her back to the hotel. Just to have her in her arms again. She’s taking these few days for all they are. She’s not going to waste any time. It’s going to be another long couple of weeks before she sees them again. She watches Santana as she signs the books, and God, her smile, it lights up the room.
While she watches, she thinks about all she wants to do before she goes, about how well she wants Santana taken care of. She knows it’s still cold up north, so she brought warm socks and her softest, coziest hoodies, that she’ll tuck in Santana’s bag for New Hampshire and Vermont and Maine, where she’s headed next. She may not be able to carry their son, but she can pamper Santana, make sure she’s as comfortable as possible. For the next three nights, she’ll massage her and take care of her other needs. She’ll be as sated as she can get her, because that’s the hardest thing for her, knowing that her wife aches that way, knowing that everything she does in FaceTime isn’t enough. It takes everything in her not to jump on a plane every time she starts crying.
She knows how her wife operates, she knows that she craves that soft physical affection after sex. It’s not just about getting off, it’s the intimacy they share and she can’t give that to her from two-hundred miles away. She always talks Santana through the motions afterwards, she stays on with her until she sleeps, but still, it’s so hard to watch her head fall back against the pillow and see the tears on her cheeks. God, she won’t tell Santana this but after Santana is asleep, Brittany cries too. It’s so hard for her to see the bliss on her face turn into agony, and for her to just crumble. Her wife is so impossibly strong, but the hormones are beyond her control. They’re crippling, sometimes, and it’ll be good when she’s home, in her own space.
She shakes her head and takes a breath. She’s here now and the tour is almost done. Clearly, she’s left a major mark already, and her career is just beginning. She watches the way she signs personalized little notes, her left hand dragging across the paper, and it’s so sweet. This woman is the mother of her baby, the woman is the person she gets to spend her whole life with. When one young girl hands Santana a gift bag, and she opens it up to reveal a tiny pair of sweatpants, Santana just gushes, and it takes Brittany’s breath away that this is who she already is. That people follow her on Twitter, take stock of her life, and give her gifts, because she gave a gift to them with her words. It’s awe-inspiring, there’s no other way to put it, and she sends Santana a wink, the only way she can say that in the midst of everything else.
By the time Santana is done signing, she has the sweatpants, three baby books, a homemade sweater, and a onesie that says Hatched By Two Chicks on the table beside her. With the room mostly empty, Brittany steps forward, her own copy of the book clutched to her chest.
“Hi.“ She smiles softly, letting her fingers graze the back of Santana’s hand. "Have time for one more signature?”
Santana grins, “I think I can fit one more in.”
She opens the book and she writes “To my Alice, thank you for loving me. All my love, Santana.” Brittany bites her lip and holds the book to her chest before leaning over the table and kissing Santana.
"You were amazing, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you and this and everything that you’ve done.”
“Really Santana, you’re an amazing writer, but even beyond that, you’re helping people.”
Santana’s fingers trail over a book on the table “I really hope I am”
“I know you are. I could see it in the way they were listening to you. ”
“That makes me so happy, Britt.”
“It’s amazing to see, baby.”
"Did you see the gifts we got?”
“I saw a couple of them, I’ll look at the rest when we get back to the hotel. It’s so awesome of them to bring gifts!”
“I love that onesie, like so much.” She touches the soft grey material of the shirt, tracing the two chicks, “I’m just picturing him in it, sleeping while I’m writing.“
Brittany can see it too, and she’s so glad that he’ll be born right when her busy season ends and she can be home with them. She loves that she won’t miss his first months in the world. God, being able to build a fire and wrap him and Santana up from the cold fall weather…to sit in their warm home and watch the snowfall outside in the winter. The idea of that will make the next months of busyness so much easier, and she thinks the harder she works, the better she can take care of her family. That drives her too. They’ve got quite the nest egg building, but she knows, if they’re going to have a house full of kids, she wants to them to be able to give them everything
Mercedes gets over to the table, "This was great Santana. Really great job up there.”
Santana smiles, “thank you, ‘Cedes. I think this was the best one yet”
“I agree, you have a way Santana Pierce. They love you.”
“I think they really got to see Santana Pierce tonight, instead of Santana Lopez.”
“I think so too”
“I can’t really hide my dumb schmoopiness, now that I’m pregnant”
“If the crowd is any indication, you shouldn’t hide it. I think it adds a whole new layer. Even if it’s way over the top.”
Santana rolls her eyes "Please. You try growing a baby with the one you love.”
Mercedes laughs, "Maybe later”
Grabbing Brittany’s hand to put on her belly, where the baby is moving again, Santana smiles, “It’s the best thing”
Mercedes smiles back at the two of them, “You guys are free to go whenever you’re ready. I know you have some catching up to do.”
“Thank you so much, Cedes. You have stuff to occupy you tomorrow?”
“Oh yeah, I have plenty to keep me busy. You just enjoy your days off okay?”
Santana snuggles into Brittany, the idea of a night sleeping next to her wife making her stomach swoop, “We definitely will.”
She feels Brittany’s lips on her temple, and their boy moving, "You ready to go honey?”
“Mhmm. I really hope you like the restaurant I picked out.”
“I’m sure i will honey, I’d eat at McDonalds if it meant I could have dinner with you tonight.”
“Well I promise it’s a few steps up from McDonald’s. I want to wine and dine you….well, you can wine and dine. You’re here, I finally feel relaxed enough without a glass.”
“Seriously, I’m just happy to be here San. I love that you want to wine and dine me though.” Brittany grins, “It’s very sweet.”
“Well I missed it, wifey.”
“I missed it too”
“I can’t wait to come home, and for us to cook together again.”
“Me either honey. We’re going to do it when you get home. We can cook whatever you want”
That sounds so good to Santana, sitting in her chair, sleeping in her bed, and she squeezes Brittany. “Soon honey, so so soon.”
Santana nods a little “I know. We can make it.”
“We can, we always will. You ready? Should we let these people go home?”
Santana laughs, “Yeah lets go.”
Brittany takes the bags from the table, and Santana holds her around the waist. She leans into her as close as she can while they walk out of the book store. Theres a cab waiting when they get outside. Santana smiles and shakes her head, because Mercedes really is the best agent she could have ever asked for, and an even better friend.
“I really need to send her a gift basket.”
“Let me take care of doing it, San?” Brittany looks at her, because that’s usually Santana’s thing, but she really wants to
Santana nods, “Okay babe.”
“Thank you. I just want to thank her for being here for you.”
And Santana leans on her in the cab, “You’re really cute. You know that?”
“I just want to take care of you, and the people who do deserve really good things”
“You take such good care of me and everyone else. I want to take care of you tonight.”
She squeezes Brittany’s shoulders, and she knows they’re sore from all the work she does, ”Starting right here.”
Brittany melts under her hands, she sighs a little, because God she’s been aching, ”That feels amazing babe"
“I can’t wait to be home and do this for you every night. You work so hard, Brittany.”
“Mmm, i can’t wait to do this for you either. Relieve all your aches and pains.”
“Let me focus on you tonight, Britt? Please?”
Brittany nods, “Whatever you want baby.”
“I want to soak in that big jacuzzi tub, and then give you the best massage of your life”
“Ugh God, that sounds perfect.”
“You made me feel so good this afternoon, and tonight I’m going to do the same to you”
“I’m so glad I have the next two days with you, love.”
Santana nods and hugs her tighter, “Me too.“
They get to the restaurant, and Brittany looks at her, ”Baby, am I dressed okay for this.”
"Of course, its nothing super fancy, just a little Italian place I looked up.” She squeezes Brittany’s hands, because she knows she worries about things like that "you’re perfect, I promise”
“You look so beautiful, my Britt.” Santana kisses her neck, making Brittany blush a little. It never fails to make her blush when Santana calls her beautiful. Santana strokes her face, marveling at her, “I’m so proud to be yours”
Brittany just needs to kiss her, ”God I love you.”
“I love you too, so much.”
Brittany holds her close as they walk into the restaurant and go to the host stand. Santana straightens up when they get to the host stand, “Hi, two for Pierce.“
"Right this way, ladies. Private table in the back, right?”
“Yes please. Thank you.”
Brittany just looks at her adoringly, “Santana”
Santana just smiles at her and snuggles closer as they walk. They sit down, and she slides her seat closer to Brittany, not wanting to be even inches from her tonight.
“Your waiter will be right with you ladies. Enjoy.”
“This is really great, San.”
“I’m glad you like it, it’s supposed to be one of the city’s best kept secrets.”
“I love that we have our own little space.”
“Me too, I don’t want any distractions from you.”
The waiter comes over, and he has a bottle of Brittany’s favorite wine in his hands, making Brittany look at Santana adoringly, “You are too much.”
“Good evening ladies.” He smiles at them, and Santana politely puts her hand over her glass.
“None for me, thank you.”
“Can I get you anything else? Water? Sparkling cider?”
She looks over at Brittany, ”Sparkling cider would be good, thank you"
“No problem, I’ll bring that right out”
Brittany squeezes Santana’s hand on the table, “Baby, you went all out”
“I told you I wanted to take care of you tonight. ”
“I want you to have everything you love”
“I’ve got the two things I love the most right here, Santana.”
Santana kisses her hand and moves it to her belly, ”He’s so glad you’re here too. He’s so active"
She can feel him every once in a while, like a tiny little nudge,”This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. He’s really there and… And I can feel him. It’s just..“
"I know, babe. You get to experience it now too.”
“It’s more than I ever thought…Watching you go through this pregnancy is amazing."Its more beautiful that i ever could’ve imagined Santana. I think now, that we’ve been away from each other, it just feels bigger ”
“It definitely does.”
Brittany takes a sip of her wine and just beams at Santana. The waiter comes back with the sparkling cider and asks if they’re ready to order.
Santana looks down a little, “Are there any bread sticks?”
“Of course! Of course, i’ll bring some out for you. My apologies.”
“No, no, don’t apologize. Sorry, I’m just pregnant and starving.”
The waiter nods, "Got it, I’ll bring those out ASAP. Do you want to go ahead and order your meal and i’ll get that in too?”
“Are you ready to order, Britt?”
She nods, “Go ahead honey”
“I’ll have the mushroom ravioli and…is it okay to get a side of meatballs?”
“Of course! Do you want them on the side or on top?”
“Oh the side please?” She’s a little embarrassed about wanting both, but she really is hungry.
"No problem. And for you?”
“San, baby, will you have some of my chicken Marsala?”
Santana looks down a little but smiles, “I might have a couple of bites.”
“Then that’s what I’ll have.”
"Great! I’ll have those right out, and I’ll be right back with the breadsticks.”
Santana, she just snuggles in with Brittany. She wants to get every moment in, ”I’m so glad we’re here. I know I’ve said that like a million times but its true.“
"I am too, sweetheart. I know it’s been really rough. Do you think pillow Britt’s going to be jealous tonight that I get you?”
“I think pillow Britt will be just fine, she’ll understand.”
“Thank you for her, really Britt. I don’t think I’d have made it”
“You’re welcome honey, although I’m not sure how she’s going to feel when you get back home and she doesn’t get to cuddle you anymore.”
“I don’t know, babe, I’m so needy for your cuddles lately, she may get to hang out with me while you’re at work
Brittany giggles, "I’ll give you as many cuddles as you want but I’m glad she can be there when I’m not.”
Santana’s fingers dance on her arm, “But there’s a lot you can give me that she can’t”
Brittany leans in a little and kisses her earlobe, “That is very very true.”
Santana stomach growls a little, ”We definitely should have eaten more than just fruit and yogurt for lunch.“
"I’m sorry, I should have fed you better. I was just so… distracted…”
“Mmm, I’m not complaining. You definitely took care of me.”
The waiter comes back with the breadsticks and Santana looks down again, “Don’t make fun of me, I’ve been eating like a hog.”
“Honey…" Brittany kisses her cheek, “You are feeding an entire other little person, you need to eat more. I would never make fun of you for feeding our baby.”
“It’s been sort of embarrassing at business dinners.“
Brittany hates how she worries about this. She just wants to get her home so she can be in her house and eat what she wants and not worry, ”Well its just me and you right now, and I want you to eat what you want”
Santana nods a little, it has just always been an issue, her and food. She loves her body changing, but still, It’s hard for her. Not fitting into her clothes, watching the scale go up, logically, she knows it’s what is supposed to happen, but still, it’s a challenge. Having Brittany not be close by has made it worse, she thinks, combined with having to get dressed up for so many things. She’s obviously showing and her tight dresses don’t fit the same. She feels like she’s sort of spreading out all over, not just in her midsection.
“Hey, you okay in there?”
Santana tries to shake herself out, ”Yeah, I’m just…I dunno, thinking.“
Brittany looks at her a little concerned, "You wanna talk about it?”
“Just thinking about my body.”
“Oh, my favorite topic.” Brittany tries to lighten the mood a little, though she knows what Santana is saying.
“Well you’ll definitely have more of it to think about”
“I love that, I love how your body is changing. It’s so so attractive Santana ”
“I’m feeling kind of insecure about it, Britt.”
Brittany bites her lip a little, ”What can I do to help?“
Santana sort of shrugs, "Just.. being around you helps most of the time, its just been kind of hard on the road.”
“Oh, honey.” Brittany just holds her closer. “I’m really sorry I can’t be here with you always”
Santana shakes her head a little, “It’s silly, I’ll be fine. I know its mostly irrational.”
“Honey, your feelings aren’t irrational. I hate it that you have to be alone.”
“Its just for a couple more weeks, right? I don’t want to ruin our time together right now with that though.”
“Part of my being here is making sure you’re okay, it’s not ruining this to talk about it.”
Santana nods, “I just, I’m just adjusting I guess. Logically… I knew my body would change, but seeing it, don’t get me wrong Britt, i’m so excited about it, but its just… an adjustment. I’ve always been really thin, you know? I’ve worn the same size since I was sixteen. And now, its like.. I’m adjusting to that not being a thing anymore. I’m going to have to buy different clothes. Having to buy those jeans last week…It was really really hard.” Brittany keeps nodding and squeezing her hand, she doesn’t want to interrupt her.”I don’t want to have a hard time with this.”
Brittany hugs her closer, “I’m sorry you’re having a tough time honey. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you? ”
She shakes her head, ”I don’t think so, I don’t know. I just…I don’t.“
"It’s okay baby, its a big adjustment in a lot of ways. I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“I just really need you to hold me a lot.” Her eyes well up again. “Damn hormones.”
“Oh baby, that I can do. Come here.”
Brittany wipes away her tears and kisses her cheeks. “You’re hungry, right? Breadsticks look great, don’t they?“
"Yeah, they do…” She sniffles a little.
Brittany’s heart breaks at the sound. She wishes she could stay the next two weeks. She’s wracking her brain trying to think of ways to make it work but she just… doesn’t think she can. She’s not looking forward to Monday morning when she has to go. They’re going to go to the airport, and Santana is going to New Hampshire, and she’s going home. It’s going to be a miserable morning for both of them. She doesn’t know how to let her go when she’s like this. She might just meet up with her next weekend, she just… she’ll see how things go, but after this weekend, they both might need that. It would only be for a couple of days since she took days off this weekend but, if she can get up there, maybe surprise her, maybe bring her pillow from home.
She’s going to try her best to make it happen, just one last little moment before she comes home. Then it’s only another week, she’ll come home the next Monday night. That might be the last push the need to get through this. Seeing the hard time she’s been having, she needs to make this happen. Santana feels so small in her arms, she’s just curled in on herself and Brittany rubs her back and just holds her as close as she can.
“Sweetheart, I’m really sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s just something I’m working through…”
“I know, but I wish I could make it easier. I’m so, so grateful you’re carrying our baby, and I think you’re so beautiful doing it.”
Santana looks down, “Thank you Britt. You do make it better, just by being you. I think it’ll be easier when I get back home.”
“I hope so, baby. When you’re back, I’m going to take such good care of you.”
“You always do”
“I’m trying, San, but this thing you’re doing for us, I’m so, so in awe.”
Santana blushes, ”I’m glad to could do this for us Britt. I love being able to.“
Brittany’s fingers trail over her belly as she holds her close, ”I can never express to you what this means. Knowing that I can be a mother because of you…”
“You’re going to be the very best mom Brittany. I know it.”
“I hope so, Santana. I really hope I have a good relationship with our children.”
“You will, you’re an amazing woman, Brittany and you’re going to be just as amazing a mother. I can’t wait to watch you. When I can’t sleep at night, that’s what I think about. You and this little guy.”
“God, me too. I can’t wait to meet him. To hold him.”
Santana blinks really fast, ”I’m not sure how I’ll survive that, seeing you for the first time with our baby.”
Brittany kisses her temple, “Me either, to be honest.”
“I know this is like…I don’t know, super granola hippy sounding, but knowing that I’m going to give birth in our bed, it’s just…it feels so special to me.”
Brittany giggles a little, “Its not hippy, it’s beautiful.”
“God, Britt, we’ve had so many big moments in that bed, and this…This is huge. I’m so glad we can do this alone together, just with Rita.”
“Me too honey. It means so much.”
Santana slowly starts eating the breadsticks as she’s talking, leaving crumbs on her chin,”These are really good, Britt.“
"Yeah? I’m going to try one, I’m starving!”
“How’s the wine? Is it good?”
“It’s great, I can’t believe you had my favorite wine ready babe.“
Santana smiles a little, "Britt, you got on a plane to come be with me, the wine is no big deal”
“It’s a big deal to me, you’ve been so busy with everything and you took the time out to set up this amazing date. Thats a big deal and I love you.“
"I love you too, Brittany. Like so, so much. I swear, I’m feeling it even more right now that I’m a big sap ball”
Brittany grins, “I love when you’re a big sap ball. I’m always a sap ball so.”
“You’re my favorite sap ball though.”
Brittany kisses her again, just because she can’t help herself. The waiter shows up shortly after with their food and Santana blushes at being caught making out with her wife. He waves off her apologies, “Looks like you’ve got plenty of reason to.”
Santana nods and laughs a little, “Yes I do.”
Brittany beams, “We’re having a baby and also we’ve been apart for a few weeks because of work and well…”
“Me and the baby really missed her.”
"And also, she wrote a bestselling novel, so…”
"Well that is indeed a very good reason.” He winks "I’ll put in the word in the back that this is a special occasion. Enjoy your meals, ladies.”
“Thank you so much.”
“Mmmm, Britt this smells amazing ”
“It really does. Dig in baby.”
Santana takes a bite of the ravioli and she moans, ”Oh, God. This is so good.” Brittany just watches her for a second before taking a bite of her Marsala. Santana looks at her food, and realizes how much she’s loved mushrooms since she got pregnant. “I think he likes mushrooms Britt. I’ve been craving them like crazy. In New York i ordered a mushroom burger at three in the morning"
Brittany giggles, “I’ll make sure and have mushrooms when you get home then.”
“I’ve been craving Gram’s mushroom soup like nothing else.”
"Well I can definitely arrange that to be available.”
“I would say don’t go out of your way, but I’m dying for it”
“Oh honey, I would go to the ends of the earth. This is an easy request.”
“So then if I steal some mushrooms off your chicken, you’re good? Because I bet they’d be awesome with my mushroom ravioli.”
Brittany laughs, "I’m good, you can have whatever you want.”
“You’re so good to me, babe.”
“You deserve the best.”
Brittany spears a few mushrooms with her fork and brings it to Santana’s lips. Santana takes the bite but doesn’t take her eyes off of Brittany, ”God this is good.” Brittany watches how she enjoys the food Santana notices Brittany watches her and blushes a little, “You want a bite?”
"No, I want to watch you.” She blushes deeper and bites back a smile. "I love when you look so happy”
“You make me happy.”
“I’m never going to stop doing that. Santana, I want to be the one who always does that for you.”
“I know that you always will, I have no doubt in my mind.”
“I’m glad you know that. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been. I didn’t know it was possible to be this happy. You know, tonight at the signing, I was just thinking how lucky I am to have found you. How i never expected…I just always assumed that I’d be alone. That I’d never really find what I was looking for. I loved my town and my home so much, but, I don’t know, it wasn’t like there were women for me to date here, and dating men just…I don’t know. But, but then you came along, and everything just… bloomed. You let me be me, and you love me for who I am. Santana, you have no idea how… freeing it was when I realized that I could just be me. I wasn’t the weird girl without a mom, or Janet Pierce’s granddaughter, or the hot blond. I was just Brittany. I could work outside in the dirt, and it didn’t make you feel weird, if I wanted to wear pants and I tie to take you out to dinner. Being with you, was and is the best thing that has ever happened to me. The circumstances were awful, but I’m glad they brought you to me.”
“Oh, Britt.” Santana’s chest clenches.
"I think about it more than ever now. How…if I wanted children, I might not have had a choice but to carry. For you to do this for our family….God Santana, I’ve said it before, but there is no way I could ever show you the gratitude that I have for you.”
"I want to, Brittany. I love that I get to carry our child, and I would never, ever want you to do something with your body that you weren’t entirely comfortable with.”
“That’s exactly what I mean though, I never have to worry about not being honest with you. Because you always want the best for me.”
“You didn’t even question it Santana. You didn’t think I was broken because I want kids but I’m afraid to be pregnant.”
“You’re not broken Britt. I understand why, and even if I didn’t you don’t need to explain the whys of things to me. You know whats best for you and thats all I need to know.”
“You don’t know how rare you are, Santana. I remember how lucky I am every day.”
“I think, theres a reason that I ended up in Copper Hollow, Britt. It was you. It was this life. God I think about my life in New York, my shitty job, my staying out all night and passing out drunk on Kurt’s floor, my terrible taste in women…” She shakes her head. “I thought I loved it, I was so caught up in the glamour of it. But I was just… existing. I can’t even imagine being there and pregnant. I can imagine even wanting to be pregnant there. The woman I used to be just…was so self-involved. Honestly, I hardly even recognize that person. Being back there without you last week, we went to dinner at one of my old favorite restaurants, and it was just…weird.“
Brittany smiles a little at the look on her face, “Weird?”
“This is so much better. Our quiet nights in our little town on our beautiful farm. I don’t know how I ever lived without you.”
“I love you”
“I love you too. God, I love you.”
“What do you say we finish up this amazing dinner, maybe get some dessert and then we can go back to the hotel and show each other how much we love each other?”
“I think maybe we would bring the dessert back to the hotel and eat it in the tub.”
“I love the way you think baby.”
“I just want to maximize my naked Britt time”
“I am ten-thousand percent in favor of this plan. Do you want some more of my mushrooms, sweetheart? Some chicken?”
She bites her lip and nods, “You want some ravioli?”
“No, no, you enjoy that. I’ll sneak some meatball.”
They spend the rest of their meal feeding each other. It just feels so good. Santana knows that she missed Brittany but its even little stuff like this. It’s just such a relief. Her body relaxes so much just being close to her, feeling her breath. It’s like the baby knows too. He’s so active, he’s barely stopped moving. She’s so glad that Brittany can feel him now. When he started moving this morning and she felt him…the look on her face was the most beautiful thing. When the water comes back, she snatches the check off the table, and smiles at Brittany’s face
"My treat, gorgeous.”
“Thank you baby. I loved it.”
“I’m glad, now let’s take our dessert and get our bath on”
Brittany laughs and offers Santana a hand up, leading her out of the restaurant. They’re both a little anxious to get back to the hotel and continue their evening. Brittany gets a cab, and she opens the door for Santana.
Santana kisses her cheek before sliding into the cab, “So sweet.”
“Always for you, baby.” Brittany slides in beside her and pulls her into her side. “This was a beautiful night, San.”
“It was. I’m glad the restaurant turned out to be good. But most of all I’m glad you’re here.” She starts to tear up a little again as she burrows into Britt. “God, I missed you. I know I keep saying it, but…”
"We’ve got two more days, love.” Santana nods and tries not to think about the two weeks after that. ”It’s going to be okay, sweetheart, we’re more than halfway there”
She takes a breath and tries to smile, “I’ve got you now though.”
Brittany’s heart breaks. She knows how Santana is, she knows she’s just so anxious about it being over, ”You’ve got me now, lets make the best of it hmm?“
"I’m trying, babe.”
“I know you are honey. I know.”
“I just feel an ache.”
“I feel it too.”
“I just keep thinking about you having to go…and it really hurts.”
“I know my love, it hurts me too. I hate having to leave you alone. I hate it more than anything. I didn’t know this baby would make me so needy. I think he misses his mommy too.”
Brittany rubs Santana’s belly, ”I missed him too, so so much. You two are all i think about all the time. Dave thinks its adorable.“
Santana nuzzles her neck, "You talk about us at work?”
“Are you kidding me? They can’t get me to shut up.”
Brittany kisses her head, “I’m serious, I think the guys are going to stage a mutiny if I don’t tone it down.”
“I’m so glad it’s not just me.”
“It’s definitely not.“
"I just feel so sad.”
“I wish i could help you to be less sad, honey.”
“I guess it’s just being pregnant.”
“That maybe part of it, but it doesn’t make it any less important.”
Santana shrugs a little, ”I’ll get over it"
Brittany furrows her brows, “If there is anything I can do baby. Please tell me.”
“I just don’t know, Britt. That’s what sucks. I just like, ugh, I don’t know:”
Brittany hates this. She just wants to help but she doesn’t know how. Santana isn’t sad at home. She just hopes she doesn’t get to the point she got in New York last week. They only have a couple more weeks, and Brittany’s made the decision that she’s going to meet up with her next weekend, no matter what it takes. She’s not sure whether to keep it a surprise or not though. The way Santana is right now, she thinks it might be better to tell her
“I was thinking.. would it be okay if I met up with you next weekend too? Like maybe Friday night to Monday morning again?”
“What? Britt, no, you don’t have to run around the country. I’m just being a baby.”
“Hey, you’re not being a baby at all. And honestly it’s as much for me as it is for you.”
Santana sucks her lips into her mouth, ”I’d really like you to come to Vermont"
“Then I’ll be there.”
Santana lets out this heavy breath, ”That sounds so good.“
"Its going to be amazing. And it definitely makes the week not look so bleak. We can make it a week right?”
Santana nods into her chest, “I think so.”
“I think so too.” She kisses her head Santana’s still teary eyed and it just kills her. She kisses her cheeks, and her lips, ”I’m here now. We’re almost there.”
“We’ll have the whole summer to get ready for our boy.” Santana nods and sniffles. ”Every night I’ll come home to you, my love. We’ll have dinner out on the back patio, and we’ll sit by the fire pit, or on the porch. And I’ll hold you and talk to our boy. I’ll kiss every swell and stretch mark on you, I’ll make love to you, and I’ll make sure you have every little thing you need.”
“I promise you, Santana. I’ll make sure you’re happy. Because you make me the happiest in the world”
“You make me so incredibly happy, Britt.“
"I just want to spoil you and pamper you, sweetheart. And God, baby, the Fourth of July fair will be here before we know it, and you’re just going to be so pregnant and so stunning.”
Santana is just listening and nuzzling closer to Brittany. ”No one back at home has seen your belly yet, and God, it’s so amazing that you love me enough to do this.“
"Britt, its so amazing that you love me enough to let me do this. To trust me enough to carry our child. It’s just….”
“Baby, I can’t wait to have a baby who looks like you, who’s been protected by you and nourished by you.”
“I’m going to take the very best care of them Britt.”
“You already are, Santana. God, it’s amazing.”
“Its perfect and you’re perfect. And our boy is going to be perfect.”
“I can’t believe he’s the size of a turnip. By the time I get home, I’ll be almost halfway there.”
Brittany leans back a little, “Wow. You’re right. He’s going to be with us so soon.”
“It’s realty flying by. I just…wow Britt.”
“It is…it really is.”
“And since we had to do my sixteen week scan so early, we’re going to see him again soon.”
Brittany wiggles a little bit, “I’m really excited about that. His little face. I’m so in love with it.”
“You’ll be able to see it even better this time.
“God, he’s just…you’re growing something so amazing. Our son, Santana. It’s just… miraculous.”
He’s moving around in there, and Santana brings both hands to her belly, “Yeah, you little love. I think he knows when you’re around Britt. He hasn’t stopped moving since you got here, except to sleep when we slept. He’s usually pretty subdued, but God he’s having a ball right now.“
Brittany laughs a little, “Well I am so very excited to see you too my little love.”
“Soon, baby, soon we’ll have mommy every day.”
“Thats right, I’ll be with you always.”
Brittany can see how tired Santana is getting from the day. She can’t wait to get her in the tub so she can relax. She’s pretty sure she’s going to pass out really, really early, which is perfectly fine. Brittany knows she needs the sleep, and she’s just so glad to have her sleeping in her arms. The can finally pulls up at the hotel, and Brittany gathers up the gift bags.
“You ready love?”
“Mmhm.” She whispers in her ear “Just want to be naked with you.”
Brittany takes a breath, “Me too. Lets get inside.”
She pays the driver, and she takes Santana’s hand to help her out of the cab. Santana goes to her side almost immediately. They make their way to the elevator and into the room.
Brittany puts the bags down on the desk, and Santana sinks down onto the bed.
“Tired?“ Santana wants to say no, but she really, really is.”It’s been a long day for you honey. Lets get in the tub and relax and then we can go to bed. sound good?”
Santana looks up at her, ”Babe, we only have a few nights.”
"But we also have next weekend and I’m perfectly content just to hold you baby. It doesn’t have to be sex.”
"You just made me feel so good today, Britt….”
“I want you to feel good, we’ll do whatever you want to honey, I’m just saying if you’re tired and want to go to bed, I’m fine with that.”
Santana nods, ”Okay, but tomorrow, Brittany Pierce, I’m going to rock your world.”
Brittany giggles, "I have no doubt. You always do.”
“You’re incredible, Britt. Thank you. Let’s get in the tub”
Brittany steps over to the bed and “Let me.”
“Baby.” Santana shakes her head, smiling, and Brittany kisses her softly. “You’re so good. I just…I really love you Britt.“
"I really love you too Santana.” She just holds her in her arms. ”Are you going to be warm enough if I don’t grab you pjs?”
"Mmhmm, you’ll keep me warm.”
“Let me undress you?” Santana nods and blushes a little. Brittany thinks it’s the sweetest how she still gets like that. ”I just want to see you”
She takes her time undressing her and kissing the skin she uncovers
And Santana is squirmy when she kisses the side of her breasts and the top of her stomach where she feels fat. Brittany spends extra time there, reminding her how beautiful she is.
“Hmm? So gorgeous.”
Santana mumbles about her double chin, and Brittany looks into her eyes, ”You’re gorgeous Santana. I love seeing the changes in your body like this. I wish I could have pictures of this to keep forever. You, naked and pregnant and just so…everything.”
Brittany just waves it off. She didn’t really mean to say it out loud, or make Santana think she was expecting anything. She gets her undressed and holds out her hand. They get in the tub, and Santana just lies quiet in her arms for awhile.
“Did you mean that?”
“I mean everything that I say to you love, but what are we talking about?”
“The picture thing.”
Brittany kisses her neck and squeeze her a little tighter, “I did mean that. I’m so mesmerized by the changes in your body. You become more and more beautiful everyday.”
And Santana looks down a little “Britt.“
"I don’t…I don’t think I could let someone else do it.”
Brittany pauses for a second, “Do what?”
“Take pictures of me like this. I just…I wouldn’t feel comfortable. But…if you…maybe. I don’t know. If it was just for us, and you took them…I might like that.”
“What? Honey…” Brittany’s eyes widen.
“No, I mean it. I mean, I see how you look at me. I want you to have that.”
"Are you sure? I would never want you to do something you’re not comfortable with honey. ”
“The pictures you take of me Britt, they always make me look beautiful.”
“That’s because you are beautiful.”
Santana shakes her head a little, blushing at the idea of nude pictures of herself at her most insecure, ”I trust you do to this though. Did you…did you want to do this more than once, or….“
"That is completely up to you. I mean…”
Santana tilts her head up to look at Brittany "I want to do this for you, so I want to know what it is you want. I guess you’ve thought about it?”
“I mean…I might have, yeah…I thought maybe..maybe like once a month? I mean…we totally don’t have to do that it it’s too much….and if we did, we could do it totally tastefully, not like porn or anything…and…”
“Britt, I think…I think that sounds really great.”
"Yeah… yeah really Britt.”
Brittany’s eyes light up. She’s incredibly excited by the idea of this. She never thought she’d even say it out loud, let alone have Santana be on board with the idea, “It’s going to be amazing San. And we’ll have something to remember this time with you know?”
“Did you…did you want to do the first one here? I mean…I won’t be back for a few weeks..“
“I mean… if you want yeah I can absolutely do it here.”
“It’s what you want, baby, remember?”
“I’d love that, taking them here. And then…if you still want to do it agin next month, I’d really love taking them on our bed.”
Santana has to admit, there’s something really sexy about this whole thing, and her skin prickles with excitement at the thought. She was tired, but this sends a rush of adrenaline through her, and she kisses Brittany hard, weaving her fingers through her hair to pull her close.
“When we get out of the bath? Does that work?”
Brittany’s mind is spinning. She hadn’t even meant to say this out loud, she couldn’t even have imagined this would be a thing she’d want to do. But she gets to actually do this, have pictures of this amazing moment. She just doesn’t even know how she wants to take them, she can’t even believe Santana is talking about tonight. The trust Santana has in her, it means more than she’ll ever know.
"If you’re tired, San, we can do this tomorrow. Your little belly isn’t going anywhere”
Santana’s hands automatically go to her belly beneath the water, “Might not be so little soon.”
Brittany smiles, “I’ll love it then too.”
“I think I’m okay, if you want to do it tonight. Being with you is really relaxing me, and…I’m a little excited”
Brittany smiles and bites her lip, “Yeah?”
“Yeah, I think so…I mean…I know it’s not a sexual thing, or whatever but it feels kind of sexy.”
“Oh I think it’s really sexy.”
"And God, you’ve got your hair done from this afternoon…you’re like a pregnancy model Santana. I’m so glad that I’ll have these to take home with me.”
Thinking about Brittany having these pictures just makes it feel even sexier, and Brittany’s hands just roam up to her breasts, gently massaging them, and she kisses the outside of Santana’s ear, “We’ll cover whatever you want to cover, but God you’re sexy everywhere”
Santana shivers and closes her eyes.
“I can’t get enough of feeling you like this”
“God.” Santana turns her head into Brittany’s neck. “Babe, your hands there…Feels amazing.”
Brittany just kisses her face. She wants her so relaxed, and her eyes are still closed and she’s just melting. She wonders if she could capture this on film. She’s torn between getting her camera and not taking her hands off of Santana. She wonders if taking pictures of her in the tub is taking it too far.
“Do you want to wait until we get out of the tub honey?”
“Um, for the pictures, Do you want to wait until we get out?”
“Oh…I…you want to take them in the tub too?”
“I…I don’t have to I was just… you just look so relaxed and…"
“No, no, it’s okay, yeah. Take what you want, and then I’ll get out and…we can get some of my belly.”
"Are… are you sure? I don’t want this to be an uncomfortable thing baby. Please tell me if you don’t want to do something.”
"I want it. Britt, the idea of you having pictures of me like this…it really kind of..I don’t know, gets me going. Is that weird? God, I know it’s like supposed to be documenting my pregnancy, but…” Santana raises her eyebrows. “I mean…it’s you, and you’re my wife, so…it turns me on.”
Brittany nibbles on her lip for a second, “It can do both. It’s not weird. I mean it definitely gets me going too.”
“Go get your camera.” Santana husks.
“Yeah, okay I’ll be right back.”
When she slips out of the tub and puts a robe around herself, Santana leans back and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath and sinks a little deeper into the water. She’s surrounded by the bubbles, and she feels good jittery. Just the tops of her breasts peek out from beneath the water, and Brittany comes back in to find her just like that. She brings the camera up and focuses the lens, taking in the contentment in Santana’s face. This, it’s one of the most intimate things they’ve ever done. She snaps the picture and Santana smiles a little bit. She keeps snapping away, even just Santana’s feet crossed on the ledge of the tub, it’s all so beautiful.
"God, you are so gorgeous.”
Santana just pulls her lip between her teeth and opens her eyes. Brittany snaps a picture and the look in Santana’s eyes, it’s all her love for her, right there in one glance.
"Baby, do you want to…are you ready to come out?”
“Yeah, I need you closer.”
“I’m right here. And I want to kiss you before I take more pictures.”
"I need that too.”
Brittany helps her out of the tub and wraps a soft robe around her before she kisses her lips, “Thank you for letting me do this.”
"Thank you for wanting to. I…I think I’m okay with you taking pictures of me totally naked, Britt, not covering myself up.”
Brittany’s eyebrows raise, and she swallows hard. “Yeah?”
Santana nods, "Yeah baby. It’s you, these are for you, and I love that you want that.”
Santana s a lot more excited it about it than she anticipated, he way Brittany looks at her though, it just…it makes her feels so desirable. She doesn’t feel uncomfortable or stressed about this, she just feels loved and wanted.
Brittany keeps kissing her, “Baby, do you want to…”
“Whatever you want me to do Britt.”
Low in her belly, Brittany feels a twist, “Let’s go in the other room”
Santana nods and its so hard to stop kissing Brittany. Brittany keeps it up the whole way out of the bathroom, and Santana being sort of turned on is making this whole thing so much sexier.
“Where should I….”
Santana takes in a deep breath and sits on the edge of the bed, opening the sash of her robe and putting her hands on her belly. Immediately, Brittany snaps a picture, so taken by the whole sight.
"Should I lay back or…”
“Yeah, you can if you’re okay with that.” Santana nods and lets the robe slide down her arms before looking back up at Brittany. ”Jesus, Santana.”
Santana smiles a little bit at the look on Brittany’s face, ”Babe? I know I bought you that camera and I should know this, but does it have a timer?”
"Yeah, yeah it does”
Santana looks down for a second, "Before I lie back on the bed, you know, our baby has two moms, and I don’t want all the glory. Do you think…you could come behind me?”
Brittany smiles softly at her, "Of course baby.”
"Drop your robe, Britt, and come get your hands on this belly.”
"I would love to.”
Brittany kneels up behind Santana and presses herself into her back, and once her warm hands touch her belly, Santana tilts her head up and just looks at her like she’s the greatest thing in the world. Brittany kisses slow and deep her just as the camera goes off.
She takes a breath, "Okay, um, I’m going to get off the bed before I can’t anymore.”
Santana kisses her one more time "Okay, director”
Brittany laughs and shakes her head, “I just love capturing beautiful things.”
“You’re so sweet to me”
"I just tell the truth, love”
“Okay get off the bed before I don’t let you”
Brittany kisses her quickly one more time before shuffling off of the bed and over to the camera, ”Santana, just…lie back and be natural”
Santana nods and gets comfortable on the bed, she doesn’t really feel as nervous as she thought she would. She props her head up on her hand, ”How’s this?”
Brittany gulps and nods, “Good, perfect.” Santana smiles at the camera, smoldering, and those bedroom eyes she’s doing are going to kill Brittany, ”Jesus.” she mumbles to herself and snaps the picture.
Santana throws her head back laughing at Brittany’s face.
“We may not get through many of these tonight babe.”
Santana can’t help but smirk, ”What'sa matter, Pierce?”
Brittany just shakes her head, “I…“
"You just…you have no idea how sexy you look, naked and pregnant and just…ugh, San.”
Santana’s smirk just grows. This confidence is driving Brittany absolutely wild. She’s trying really hard to focus on the pictures but God. She’d never even assumed Santana would want nude pictures of herself even not pregnant, but she’s owning the shoot and Brittany can only take a few more before she’s completely done. She sets the camera down and looks over at the bed. Santana crooks her finger at Brittany with that same smirk. Brittany wastes no time in getting to Santana,
”God, what you do to me.”
“Oh, I’ll show you what I can do to you, baby.”
Brittany groans and presses herself into Santana. Santana, all her tiredness forgotten, is dead set on showing Brittany just every emotion.
It’s like that through the remainder of the weekend, the two of them just entirely wrapped up in each other. It’s over far too fast, and when they wake up Monday, it’s so early in the morning. Getting out of bed and knowing she’ll be alone in bed when night falls makes it hard for Santana to keep it together. She’s dressed in jeans and Brittany’s sweatshirt, and she and Mercedes have to drive to New Hampshire in a few hours. Brittany hates that she’s getting on a plane. Logically she knows she’ll see her in four days. but Santana’s been weepy since last night.
"Just a few days, sweetheart.” Brittany murmurs against her lips outside of the airport. She can’t breakdown yet, that will just make Santana worse. She hates that Santana can’t even say goodbye to her at the gate. She has to leave her at security and then sit there by herself wondering if Santana is okay. Her chest hurts just thinking about it. "I’ll be back as early as I can on Friday okay? I think there’s a 6pm flight, and as long as Dave can handle me leaving a little early…I’ll be there that night though. No matter what. “
Santana nods a little, "Maybe you’ll be there by the time I finish my signing.”
"I will do everything in my power to make sure that happens honey.”
She clings to tightly to Brittany, she hates the idea of these next four nights, “I hate this so much” she whispers into Brittany’s neck.
“I know, baby. I do too. But we’ve got two weeks to go.”
"God thats an eternity.”
Brittany just hugs her closer. Santana is crying, and it takes everything in Brittany’s power not to call Dave, "Once you’re home, it’ll be so good. I love you so much baby. we’re on the downhill slope.”
Santana’s wiping furiously at her eyes, "I’m okay, I’m okay.”
Brittany just pulls her closer, ”I had a beautiful weekend with you, love. And we’ll have an even better one in a few days. What can I bring you from home to make your last week easier?”
“Just you…and maybe another sweatshirt.”
"I can handle that.”
“Santana, I’ve gotta go now.”
"Okay. okay.” She lifts up her sweatshirt, the tight material of her tank top underneath taut against her belly, "Do you want to…kiss him one more time?”
Brittany tears up at that and nods quickly, she puts both hands on the sides of her belly and kneels down "Hello little love” Santana runs her fingers through Brittany’s hair. You and mama are going to have so much fun this week. And in a few days I’ll see you again. love you so, so much. Be good for mama okay? Let her get some rest huh?” He nudges her a little. She laughs a watery laugh. "I’ll take that as a yes.”
Brittany wipes her eyes and she tucks Santana’s belly back into her shirt. Santana pulls her in for a deep kiss. They both melt into it, and hold each other as tightly as they can. The baby moves so much inside of her, and she’s trying so hard not to start sobbing
Knowing she has to go, Brittany steels herself, “Baby…“
"I know. I know. Your flight..”
"I’m sorry, I wish I didn’t have to go. I really do.”
Santana nods vigorously, unable to blink back all of her tears, ”I know. Me too”
“You’re going to be amazing this week, Santana.” Brittany kisses her over and over again, slowly unwinding herself from their embrace. "I’m so, so proud of you. You’re an amazing woman, and I’m glad that other people are getting to see that. Please remember that when we’re apart this week. That is happening because of how amazing you are. You deserve the best things in the world, and I will always, always be your biggest fan.”